Boredom, Loyalty, And Fear
My representatives will band together to conquer the darkness of their world.
While they do so, I will continue to tend to the darkness that attempts to seep its way into mine.
Jordan leaned against the trunk of a tree in Redvale Park. Fireball sat beside him, its eyes shut. The two had just finished some battling a few other trainers in the park and the Monferno was taking an opportunity to rest to recover a little while Jordan waited for Adrien, Kyle, and Carol to show up. Jordan had arrived an hour earlier than the designated time set by Kyle so he'd have some time for a few battles. Thankfully, nobody recognized him or his Pokemon today, so he and Fireball were able to fight others in peace. He was getting recognized less and less often and he was starting to hope that his torment was nearing its end.
The torment caused by other people, that was. Jordan was still brought to his knees at times by the frustration his false persona put him through. He was trying to get rid of it, but he wasn't making as much progress as he wanted. It still loomed in the back of his mind, taking control at times. Making him say things he didn't want to say. Making him do things he didn't want to do. Such was his life.
"Dammit!" Jordan cursed. Fireball opened its eyes and looked at him as he asked himself aloud, "What the hell am I even doing here?"
I shouldn't be here, Jordan thought. It's not like they're my friends. They probably just hate me like everyone else. I'm nothing to them. They just feel sorry for me, that's all. Nothing more.
Jordan sighed, his frustration seeping away slightly. He wanted to leave and tell the others he couldn't make it. What prevented him from doing so was another part of him that wanted to spend time with them. That part of him didn't care about how the others felt. It only cared about the fact that it had felt nice to be around people who actually had admirable traits.
The truth was, he enjoyed hanging out with the others, more than he had enjoyed hanging out with anyone else, especially those who poisoned his mind with their influence. It had felt like he had been completely alone, and he hadn't been willing to accept it until now. But now, he had a chance not to be alone anymore.
Of course, that doesn't mean Fireball isn't worth anything, Jordan thought. He put a hand on the fire-type and rubbed the top of its head. Fireball closed its eyes again and smiled as it relaxed its body. Jordan smiled, too. Fireball had been a huge help in Jordan's mental recovery. For that, he would be eternally grateful. He had been wrong to ever doubt his Pokemon in any way.
Jordan detected movement in his peripherals and looked up to see Adrien approaching him, his Pikachu on his shoulder. Jordan remembered the day he Adrien had forced Jordan to back down after he had defeated Kyle and his Eevee. Adrien was almost the direct cause of his recent suffering by inviting everyone to stand against him and his Pokemon. That was something a part of Jordan couldn't forgive just yet.
No! Another voice inside Jordan protested. I deserved it! I deserved all of that! Jordan put a hand on his head, which had begun to throb. He wished the voices would just shut up already.
Adrien noticed his discomfort. Passing by a greeting, he instead went straight to asking, "Having a spike?"
Jordan grimaced. "Nothing I can't handle." He didn't want it to seem like he was completely at the mercy of his mind, which was sometimes true.
Adrien nodded and said nothing more as he leaned against another part of the tree, his Pikachu descending from his shoulder to sit at his feet. Of all the people in the world, Jordan had never known anyone who went through as much mental pain as Adrien. Jordan knew it was enough to make his own pains look like a sore muscle. And yet Adrien internalized it so well to the extent that one could barely notice it at all. Jordan knew because of what Adrien had told him that he was having an anxiety headache right then, but Jordan wouldn't be able to tell if Adrien hadn't told him that.
Adrien had a good life and a supportive family. They didn't know about his condition, of course. He kept that secret from them since he didn't want them to worry about him. He was smart and talented, and he had friends. Jordan couldn't say much for himself in those regards. Yet Adrien seemed to be the saddest and most anxious person Jordan could ever meet. One wouldn't know it unless he opened up to someone, and Jordan knew he was the only one that was aware of what transpired in Adrien's head.
The two humans and their Pokemon waited in silence. Adrien stood perfectly still while Jordan moved his foot around in the grass. There wasn't nearly as much snow on the ground today; one could see multiple patches of green in the park. It didn't matter to Jordan what the weather was like. He didn't really care if the ground was white or green.
"You're nervous," Adrien said finally, disrupting the quiet of the occasional breeze.
Jordan didn't respond for a moment. Fireball looked up at its trainer from where it sat. Jordan sighed.
"Of course I am," he said. "It's not like I have a reason not to be."
"I'll give you one, then," Adrien said. "I've talked to the others while we hung out in school and we've decided that we'd be happy to have you around."
Lies, a voice inside Jordan said.
"Besides," Adrien added. "I'm assuming it's helping with your head case."
He wasn't wrong. Jordan had certainly felt better after being around Adrien and his friends. But it was nowhere near enough.
Jordan let out an empty chuckle. "It's not like it's going to fix me completely. I'm having a hard time believing that's possible."
"Don't worry, I'm sure it'll work out," Adrien encouraged.
Adrien's optimism stirred something inside Jordan, making him angry. "What do you know?" Jordan growled. "It's not like your condition's improved, has it?! I seriously doubt that. So why are you being so stupidly naive?"
Adrien transferred to an even stiller state than he had been before. His Pikachu, which had been sitting on the ground, had noticed its trainer's changed state and was now on its tiny feet, pulling at the legs of Adrien's jeans.
Jordan cringed. I didn't mean to say that! He wanted to take it back, but his pride wouldn't allow it. So he simply waited in agitation for Adrien's response.
Adrien was rarely openly hostile to others. His actions towards Jordan a month ago hadn't been hostility, it had been more based on something other than that. When Adrien's anger was really wound up, which Jordan had only seen once or twice, he gave off a certain vibe. A vibe that told someone that they had made a grave mistake.
Jordan heard Adrien take a deep breath before relaxing slightly. He pushed up the sleeve of his black jacket and began to rub his wrist. To one who was oblivious to Adrien's state of mind, it might look like he was trying to warm himself up. Jordan, however, knew what the gesture meant. Adrien often rubbed his wrists when his anxiety was spiking.
"Of course I don't feel better," Adrien said with bitterness so thick that it couldn't be compared to anything else. "I know for a fact that I never will. In fact, since I met them, some holes inside of me have widened to the point where they don't have much room left to widen." Adrien took a deep breath and his body became less rigid.
"But some holes have shrunk, too," he continued. "I'm able to forget about a little bit of my pain sometimes when I'm with them. It keeps me going." He turned to look at Jordan. His eyes were sincere, and the bitterness had left his voice. "You're not me. We don't quite have the same ailment. I think your problem can be solved with their help." Adrien turned away. "I'll be here, too."
Silence fell once again and Adrien's negative vibe disappeared. Adrien's Pikachu relaxed but continued to stare at Adrien in case his bitterness returned. Jordan pondered Adrien's words, still feeling a bit guilty for his outburst. He knew what Adrien said was probably true, but that didn't take away the fear he felt.
"How do I know you guys won't cast me out?" Jordan asked. The deep conversation was making him a little uncomfortable, but some things needed to be said.
"You can't," Adrien said. "You simply have to trust me when I say they won't. The only way you'd ever lose them would be when you turned your back on them. And even then, I'll do my best to stay on your side."
Jordan nodded in acceptance. Something inside of himself was still protesting, but it had been muted significantly for the moment. Jordan would have to ready himself for when it rose up again.
"Here they are," Adrien said. Jordan saw him put his sleeve back down.
Jordan looked up and recognized the faces of Kyle and Carol as they walked toward the tree Adrien, Jordan, and their Pokemon were under. Jordan took a deep breath and composed himself.
Okay.
Carol waved as she and Kyle approached their two friends under the tree. Adrien made a small gesture of greeting with his hand. Jordan removed his backside from the trunk of the tree and stood to face them.
I'm thinking of him as a friend, now? Kyle thought. Then he realized he didn't have a good reason to be surprised about it. If he was reaching out to Jordan like this, they would have to be friends. A small feeling of shame clouded his mind before passing. He's absolutely my friend. As long as he thinks of me as a friend too, I mean.
Kyle and Carol had run into each other while walking to the park. Kyle's sister, Chelsey, hadn't been able to drive him since she was working, as usual. They had seen each other across the street about ten minutes away from the park so they joined each other to chat along the way.
Carol had immediately asked why Kyle was calling everyone together, but Kyle had said that it would have to wait until they got to the park. Carol had jokingly pouted for a few seconds before complying and switching the topic to something else. The two had talked about the final set of four moves they planned to have for their Pokemon the rest of the way. Kyle had been describing his third possible set of moves he could choose depending on Eve's evolution when they entered the park and caught sight of Adrien and Jordan waiting for them.
Carol reached into her pocket and produced a Poke ball. She pressed her thumb against the button to enlarge it before releasing her Dratini, Scarf. It didn't materialize on the ground in front of her, but rather around her neck.
Kyle raised his eyebrows. "It just comes out like that, now?"
Carol laughed. "Yeah, I guess so."
Kyle reached into his own pocket to let Eve out before stopping himself as his fingers closed around his Pokemon's capsule. He hadn't been with any of his friends since Eve had switched from its Poke ball to Kyle's new Dominance ball. Kyle removed his hand from his jeans pocket, leaving the Dominance ball there. He would show them as he explained the situation.
"Are you going to let Eve out?" Carol asked.
Kyle forced his brain to work quickly. "Not yet," he said. "I'll wait a little bit."
Wow, nice work, Kyle thought to himself sarcastically. Really sounded convincing there.
Kyle could sense Carol's suspicion, but she didn't press any further. The two kept moving towards the tree while Adrien and Jordan moved towards them as well. Their Pokemon tagged along beside their respective trainers as they stopped, standing a square-like formation.
"So," Carol asked as she turned to face Kyle, "What was it you wanted us to get together for?"
Getting right to it then, Kyle thought. Adrien and Jordan both faced him as well, expressions expectant. The eyes of their Pokemon were on him too. Scarf was leaning especially close to his face.
Kyle reached into his pocket and closed his hand around the secure Dominance ball in his pocket that held Eve. He slowly took it out and displayed it in an open palm. Everyone's eyes fell on the black and grey device.
A mix of emotions passed through the faces of Carol and Jordan, the prior more so than the latter. Adrien's calm expression didn't change, as per usual.
Carol looked up. "That's the same one we took from that other guy, right?" She asked.
"It's either that," Jordan said, "or he found another."
"Given the fact that he hasn't released his Eevee yet, it's also safe to assume that it's inside of there," Adrien said.
Carol and Jordan both paused to look at Adrien, whose expression faltered slightly at the sudden attention. Then the two of them both turned back to look at Kyle, who felt equally uncomfortable at their focused gazes.
"Is that the same ball as the one from before?" Jordan asked.
"No," Kyle said. "I sent that one over to the CPP so it might help them out a little."
"Wait a minute!" Carol exclaimed, her face suddenly growing a worried expression. "Your Eevee didn't get captured inside one of those, did it?"
Kyle shook his head. "No, it wasn't captured by someone else," he said. Carol relaxed and let out a breath. "I put it in here," he finished.
Carol jumped up again. "What?" She asked. "Why?"
Adrien had been thinking all this time and seemed to realize something, as his expression changed again. He looked at Kyle. "They sent you one."
Kyle looked back at Adrien and couldn't help but feel impressed at his friend's deduction skills. He had figured out what was going on so quickly.
Carol turned her head between Kyle and Adrien, then stopped to settle her eyes on Kyle. "Is that true?" She asked. When Kyle nodded, she asked, "How did that happen?"
"He must've joined them, or something like that," Jordan said. "But I'm guessing it's not for the reason most people join."
"Right," Kyle said. He pressed his finger against the Dominance ball to unlock it, then pressed it a second time to release his Pokemon in a flash of light. Eve stood between the four humans and smiled up at them.
"So what, are you planning on trying to take them down or something?" Jordan asked with a minuscule hint of amusement in his voice.
"That's exactly what I'm planning to do," Kyle responded, choosing to ignore Jordan's tone.
"How?" Carol asked.
"I joined their ranks and recieved a Dominance ball by earning points."
"Points?" Jordan asked.
"Yeah," Kyle said. "They give you points for doing stuff that'll help their cause. Things like sending them supplies or something else like that."
"Couldn't police just use that application thing to find them?" Carol asked.
"Team Dominion send their own Pokemon to pick up the supplies," Kyle explained. "The police and the CPP have caught a few, but the Pokemon will refuse to lead them back to their trainers. If the police try to follow them or place tracking devices while trying to remain undetected, the Pokemon will notice anyway and refuse to move. Not only that but sometimes the Pokemon are so fast that they'll pick up the supplies and shoot off without the police being able to get even a glimpse of them."
"So you spent money on supplies to give to them?" Jordan asked.
"He wouldn't spend money for something like that," Carol said at the same time Adrien said something quietly about Kyle needed money for his family.
"Actually, I kinda did spend money on something like that," Kyle said as he scratched the back of his head, slightly ashamed. "Only I didn't spend as much as I might've needed to. I payed Marcus to hack into the CPP to find useful info I could relay to Team Dominion.
This comment actually made Adrien raise his eyebrows. Jordan chuckled a little, and Carol's jaw dropped.
"You just gave that stuff away to them?" Carol asked incredulously. "You know that's illegal, right? As in, you could be charged and arrested for it?"
"Yeah, I know," Kyle said. "But I didn't give them anything that could be useful in a short time. We'll have enough of an opportunity to do something before they can do anything with what I gave them. What matters is that it worked and I got my Dominance ball. Not only that, but I believe it's helping me gain their trust."
"What happens after you finish getting their trust?" Jordan asked. "How are you going to get to them?"
"I already have that sort of figured out," Kyle said. "I'll wait until they ask me to find something specific. I have a feeling that'll happen. Then I'll tell them I can't with the equipment I have on hand and I'll need something better. Then, hopefully, they'll offer me the use of their own equipment at their base. That's when I'll infiltrate it."
"Didn't you see what people in the news said?" Carol asked. "Their Pokemon are easily stronger than ours."
"I have something for that, too," Kyle said.
Jordan turned his head slightly to the side. "What? Do you have something that can make your Pokemon stronger? Or maybe make their's weaker?"
"Yeah, the first one," Kyle said. "I'll tell you about it later. I just came today to ask if you guys would be willing to help. I only have enough supplies for a total of four people."
"You think that you can do this," Adrien said. It wasn't a question, nor was it in surprise. He was simply making a blank statement.
"I do," Kyle said. Jordan chuckled again, earning him a glare from Kyle. "What, you think I can't do it?" He asked with a hint of challenge in his voice.
Carol sighed. "He's not the only one," she said.
Kyle turned towards the friend who had rarely doubted him in all the time that he had known her. Her face was apologetic. Kyle felt his jaw loosen, though his mouth remained closed.
"The thing is," Carol explained. "The fact that their Pokemon are stronger than ours is just one thing. I only said it so that it might discourage you enough." She stopped to take a deep breath. "But I don't think you're making sense. Just think about it! You know what they can do. They can hurt us with their Pokemon. Badly. You could take some serious damage while you're there. Hell, thinking you'll make it out alive is just silly in itself!" She looked down at her feet. "After all, they're a freaking criminal organization, and we're only kids."
Silence fell. As Kyle considered Carol's words, he felt a cloud in his head that he hadn't noticed before begin to clear away. Through the cloud, he could sense something familiar. Kyle realized that it was the part of his mind that usually influenced his actions. The part that wanted nothing to do with something as big as this. It agreed with everything Carol said and was protesting to Kyle, trying to get him to stop what he was trying to do.
What am I doing? Kyle thought, looking down at his palms. She's totally right. Why am I trying so hard to make this happen? It's not like me…I would never go so far as this...
"Okay."
Kyle moved his head upward. The cloud in his head stopped moving away. Kyle heard the shuffles of jackets and coats as Carol and Jordan also turned their heads. They all faced Adrien. This time, however, the calm-faced boy didn't display any sense of unease at receiving sudden attention.
Adrien didn't look at Carol or Jordan as they turned to face him. He kept his eyes centered on Kyle, who stood right in front of him. Then he blinked once as if he had just remembered something.
"Oh, wait," he said. He turned to the Pikachu at his feet. "I need to make sure you're okay with this."
Chu didn't hesitate. It bobbed its head up and down and let out a tiny burst of electricity from all around its body.
With that, Adrien nodded and turned back to Kyle. "Yeah, we'll do it."
Adrien's words sparked a memory inside of Kyle. 'What you are attempting is dangerous to you, but possible,' the note had said. 'For the good of both Pokemon and those bonded to them.'
It doesn't matter what we are, Kyle thought, the cloud re-enveloping his mind. Though he had used a cloud metaphor, it felt that his mind was clearer as it was now. The one who sent me the candies believes we can succeed, so that's that. I wouldn't believe it if anyone else told me, but seeing as how it literally descended from the sky, it might be worth putting my faith into.
Carol opened her mouth to say something but couldn't seem to get the words out. Kyle was in no similar state.
"That's one," he said.
"Why would you want to do this?" Carol was finally able to ask Adrien.
Adrien shrugged again. "I've been pretty bored lately."
Jordan began to chuckle slightly before he started laughing out loud for a moment. Kyle and Carol both stared at him while the corner of Adrien's mouth turned slightly upward.
"You should join in, too, you know," Adrien said to Jordan.
Jordan settled down after a few moments and smiled at Adrien while he considered. "Eh, I guess I don't have much of a reason to refuse if you're going," Jordan said at last. He turned to Fireball. "As long as you don't have an issue with it?"
The Monferno grinned and punched its knuckles together in front of its chest. Jordan grinned back even wider.
"Are you all out of your minds?" Carol asked. "This isn't a game! This is serious! You could all get killed!"
Adrien shrugged again without giving any verbal response.
Carol was stupefied. "Do you have a death wish?!"
I'm wondering the same thing, honestly, Kyle thought to himself. His reasons for supporting me don't seem similar to mine at all. Could he really just be looking for an escape from his boredom?
Adrien didn't respond, however, so neither Carol nor Kyle received an answer to their question. Carol gave up trying to talk Adrien out of it and decided to try somewhere else, turning her sights on Jordan.
"What about you?" She demanded. "Are you really doing this just because Adrien wants to?"
Jordan nodded. "Of course. Isn't that the kind of thing you'd do for a friend, after all?"
Carol stopped at these words. Kyle could see her jawline working; she was gritting her teeth.
"I would've thought that'd you'd try to keep your friend from getting themselves killed!" She said. "Which is what I'm trying to do right now with all of you!"
Jordan chuckled. "You really don't know Adrien at all, I suppose."
Anger flashed inside of Carol's eyes. "At least I care about him enough not to turn away," she growled.
Jordan's expression darkened and his eyes turned to stone. Fireball noticed this and grabbed his trainer's arm with a concerned look. The scarf had noticed its own trainer's stress and had tightened itself around her neck a little.
Adrien seemed uncomfortable that the two were discussing him. He and Kyle exchanged nervous glances. Things were not transpiring how Kyle had expected them to in his mind.
"I just need a yes or no," Kyle said slowly. "I need to know whether you're all willing to help me or not."
"Yeah," Adrien said.
Jordan nodded, eyes still hard. "Sure."
Kyle looked at Carol who was tugging on Scarf's body, trying to get it to loosen from around her throat. She looked back at him, face upset and angry. More than just that, however, was hidden within her eyes. Her eyes held worry and fright.
She took a deep breath and composed herself. Scarf let itself be loosened. "I-"
At that moment, Kyle felt a slight tremor beneath the ground he was standing on. The others must have felt it too, as Carol stopped talking and the two other boys looked down while taking a step or two backward. Their Pokemon noticed it, too, and backed away. Chu climbed up Adrien to stand on his shoulder and Eve prodded at the ground a little.
The tremor became more noticeable after a moment and everyone began to back away as it was clear it was originating from the middle of the square they had been standing in. As soon as Kyle figured that whatever was causing the tremor was directly below the ground, a small figure burst from the dirt and flew four feet into the air.
It was a Pokemon. Its figure was similar to that of an armadillo, though it also shared some characteristics with a mouse. Its scales were the color of dry sand. Kyle recognized it as a Sandshrew.
What troubled Kyle about the Pokemon, besides the fact that it had decided to dig a hole beneath them and spring up between all of them, was that he had noticed it was holding something using it's left appendage. The object was round and black, with the letters "TD" printed across it in dark grey.
Kyle watched, frozen, as the Sandshrew spun in the air and threw the ball directly at Eve. Kyle's Pokemon had not the time nor the agility to dodge out of the way in time.
The Dominance ball bounced once on Eve's backside.