Q-Qualms

He draped his arm around her as they walked towards the horse drawn carriage. She seemed to be lost in thought and he knew exactly what she was thinking about; Tears were still brimming just below the surface.

He helped her into the carriage and climbed in beside her, drawing her close as he kissed the top of her head.

"You don't have to tell me you know," he whispered against her ear as her head fell on the familiar place on his shoulder. "I love you enough to know you had your reasons."

She wiped at the fallen tears that now fell down her cheeks and looked into her husband's eyes. "I want to tell you. For the first time in my life, I want to tell someone about who I was back then."

"Then I'm listening."

"I thought he loved me Brandon. I was just stupid enough to believe all of his lies…but I wasn't blind. I felt him pulling away from me. I thought it was my fault…I was young and inexperienced and he was…not…and I would have done anything to make things right…God, I was such a pathetic doormat back then…When I think of the things that I did for that bastard, it makes me sick. That's part of why I changed my name… Not just because I wanted to start over somewhere but also because I did not want that reminder of who I was back then. I wanted to make something of myself."

"Sweetheart, you did. You can't still blame yourself for your mistakes…everyone makes them."

"You don't understand Brandon… After he broke my heart and ran off with my money, I had nothing left. I felt like everyone was just looking at me with pity and I hate pity…but the thing is, it ruined me. I was determined to never let love into my life ever again…I didn't date much…I thought it was better just to have flings…It can't hurt you right?"

"I think it did hurt you…When I first met you, you had this huge wall around your heart…even that first night when you finally had enough courage to call me."

"That was the martini," she joked. "I was so terrified to call you. I mean this sort of thing didn't happen to me…I didn't look at someone for the first time and suddenly start imagining what it would be like to be in his life forever…but that was the problem wasn't it…that first night just completely blew my mind…you were so confident and so damn sexy…"

"Don't you dare sell yourself short…you knocked the wind out of me from that very first night…and I know most people never understood what I saw in you but I never cared about that…all I saw was this fiery spitfire who made me feel more alive than I have ever been in my life."

"Really?"

"Really," he agreed, letting his lips brush against hers in a gesture of loving affection. Even now, just the feel of her warm lips on his made him feel alive...so alive that he could feel every nerve ending in his body tingle with desire.

"I love you Guya…every single part of you…and I'm proud to be your husband…In fact, I would love to just scream it to the world."

"Please don't," she quipped.

They spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying the warmth of each other's body as they cuddled together in the carriage, stealing kisses as they took in the view. When it came time for them to leave, he came back out with tickets for a cruise.

"What in the world," she questioned.

"We're going to take one more week sweetheart…you need it…and I'm going to spend every day of that week doing nothing but pamper you…I want the world to know what I already know…that you are the best woman a man could ever ask for in a wife."

She actually cried happy tears then…she never knew what that kind of love felt like…not until him. He picked her up in his arms and she locked her arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. "Are you real," she asked him.

He smiled that smile that always astounded her.

"I'm as real as you are," he admitted.

"Then how did I get to be the lucky one to call you my husband?"

"You loved me back."

"I do love you…it scares the hell out of me but God do I love you…"

There were no more words spoken then…just skin on skin as they tumbled back into the bed for the last night of lovemaking before their cruise started. Brandon intended to keep her up all night long showing her exactly how much he adored her. He would not let her ex break her spirit again…he would love her back to life.