Author note:
This world belongs to JKR, but someone please take her off Twitter. Full author's note at the end.
She could feel herself being carried in someone's arms like a child. She felt herself juddered as her carrier's feet moved uneasily over the cobbles.
She could hear voices.
"Mister Malfoy, what on earth-."
"- She passed out, Professor – hit her head."
That was Scorpius' voice. She noticed the waver in it, so uncharacteristic she was unsure if she was dreaming the sound.
She saw an image of a cobbled street and felt herself turn suddenly weightless. She saw her cousin, his face ashen. She had to close her eyes. All the while the pain in her head seared. The blackness was a welcome reprieve.
Rose had an odd sense of deja-vu. The light was bright and warm beyond her eyelids. She could sense someone in the room with her; hear them shuffling in a seat nearby. Only this time the sheets felt taught, as if she had been tucked in tightly, with no means of an easy escape. Her head throbbed. She heard the rustling page of a book and braved squinting open one eye.
Jasmine sat with her feet tucked under her in the chair closest to Rose's bed.
"Why am I having a painful moment of deja-vu?" Rose managed to croak out, rousing Jasmine from her reading. Jasmine's eyes widened in surprise and she snapped her book shut.
"You hit your head pretty hard. So much for Scorpius' Quidditch reflexes," said Jasmine, guardedly. Something seared in Rose's gut, alike to the sensation in her temples; urging her to rise to his defence immediately, as Jasmine continued, "he didn't quite catch you in time."
Rose cracked open her other eye, trying to survey the room in search of other occupied beds. She tried lifting herself higher on the pillows, before wincing as the pain jabbed painfully at both temples. She lifted a hand to her head, feeling a bandage wrapped there.
"Although," Jasmine began, pausing as if she already regretted starting to speak, "he apparently carried you most of the way back up to the castle."
Rose tried to dispel the feeling of guilt and shame that marred the blush rising in her cheeks.
Her friend meanwhile sat by her bedside as if nothing disagreeable had passed between them at all.
Rose undoubtedly could have guessed by the orange glow that lit the room as the sun set beyond the window, she felt the need to find any excuse to evade talking about Scorpius in this moment. Or thinking about Albus. Or anything else from the day for that matter. So, she found herself asking lamely, "how long have I been here?"
Jasmine shuffled in her chair, placing the book down by Rose's bedside, "a few hours. Tea just finished." She was grateful that Jasmine was humouring her.
Beyond the entrance of the hospital wing, Rose could hear heated voices. As she strained to listen, she was treated to what felt like a knife jab to each temple.
Jasmine too appeared to have noticed the commotion, glancing over her shoulder at the infirmary doors warily. "McGonagall said something about a potential stress-induced collapse." Jasmine's voice was grave. Rose felt yet another aching wave of unpleasantness in her gut as her friends' eyes found hers searching, a frown knotting her brow with concern.
Rose tried to blink the bleariness from her eyes to focus, noticing Jasmine's puffy eyes.
"Are you ok?"
Jasmine fixed her with a calculating look, clasping her hands in her lap, tilting her head, "you're the one in the hospital bed," Jasmine pointed out. "Although, while I do appreciate the sentiment, I think this time you should be thinking about your own health and not concerning yourself with my insipid woes."
Rose wanted to convey how much she appreciated Jasmine's familiar presence at her bedside, yet the lump rising in her throat wouldn't allow her to voice her gratitude.
The unmistakable creek of the entrance door, abruptly broke the girl's shared reverie as Shannon slipped inside muttering fast under her breath.
"Bloody good for nothing – I'll show them him where they can go-,"
"Shannon?" said Jasmine urgently, leaving aside her usual derisive tone. Shannon glanced up to Jasmine, flicking her hair over her shoulder, apparently unaware Rose had regained consciousness. Her eyes were burning.
"I told him he'd better come back another time. I'll be too much stress and it might make things worse! Without the extra drama that's been going on lately, today… for years! Did you hear people are saying they might be getting suspended?"
"What?" the word had pushed past her lips before she could hold it back. It came out as a half-wheeze and Shannon dramatically clutched a hand to her chest in surprise.
"Oh, sweet Merlin, you're awake," said Shannon looking somehow horror struck and relieved all at once.
"So much for not stressing her out more," muttered Jasmine raising her eyebrows to the ceiling. Shannon scowled at her.
"Who's getting suspended?" Rose demanded, finally managing to sit up in bed. Somehow, she pushed past the pain, trying to meet Shannon's eyeline, although she was blinking rapidly through her pained grimace. An urgency gripped her heart as it began to beat against her rib cage.
This couldn't be happening.
"It's nothing, honestly-,"
"Just bloody tell me-,"
"Miss Weasley! You're awake!" cried Madam Longbottom, rushing out of her office, her robes billowing out in her wake like enlarged moth wings. She rounded on the other girls, "I told you two, to inform me when Miss Weasley awoke!"
"Sorry Madam Longbottom, she literally just opened her eyes," Shannon's voice came out a little shaky. She looked furtively between Rose and the closed hospital wing doors.
Jasmine was up-ended out of her chair as Madam Longbottom pushed past her, without so much as a glance, to grab a tray perched on the windowsill.
"I requested that you inform me immediately-,"
"We would have done," Jasmine interjected, which Rose considered particularly brave in the face of the distraught matron, "except Shannon was trying to prevent Albus Potter barging in and causing her more stress." She gestured with her book towards Rose, her eyes fixed on the matron who seemed stunned by the interruption of her usual tirade towards students, who she generally considered highly adept in preventing their peers from getting their required bed rest.
Madam Longbottom's eyes narrowed, "I'll give you ten more minutes, and then you will leave for the evening. No arguments." She turned to Rose grimly, giving an exaggerated sigh. Rose, who had barely been paying attention to the exchange, was instead focused on the doors and the unresolved issues that lay beyond. Her head continued to throb hideously.
"Now, Miss Weasley. Eat this and drink this." She forced a large chunk of chocolate into Rose's right hand and a flask containing a lilac liquid into her left. "You two are to leave in ten minutes." Madam Longbottom repeated before making a beeline to a bed a few over from Rose's, hidden by a screen, that Rose had failed to notice before.
Rose glanced at the slab of chocolate; her stomach growling.
"You should eat that. Longbottom doesn't skip on hospital chocolate," muttered Shannon, perching on the end of Rose's bed as Jasmine sat back in her chair.
"And I don't think I've seen you eat anything in days," added Jasmine.
As much as Rose could feel her insides twisting with everything so vague, her stomach rumbled again. She couldn't recall the last time she'd eaten anything. Biting into what appeared to be close to a whole bar, she felt the sugar sharpening her senses. She chewed as her friends sat watching her.
"You've already got some colour back from just that," said Shannon indicating Rose's cheeks.
"You're right. I don't remember the last time I ate," admitted Rose thickly through the mouthful of chocolate, taking another bite before even swallowing the first.
"I can't believe you fainted over lack of nutrients," said Jasmine, shaking her head, "were you trying to observe some sort of penance?"
Rose swallowed loudly, shaking her head, it continued to throb painfully. "I just didn't feel like eating the past few days. I mean, I don't know if I have enough time to fill you both in on everything that's been happening."
"How about just the highlights?" suggested Shannon, shrugging. Her expression was eager.
Rose found herself thinking of fogged up glasses and the smell of old books. Followed by her cousin yelling, his face screwed up in anguish and she closed her eyes as they grew hot.
She heard Jasmine sigh beside her, "see?" she muttered angrily to Shannon, "she's had so much on her plate, she can tell us when she's ready."
"No." Rose found herself saying, "I want to explain it to you both. I feel like getting it all out in the open is about the only thing that will help at this point. I've been sat worrying about everything for so long. And you and I well-," She looked at Jasmine who looked more defiant than abashed.
"That all seems unimportant now," Jasmine commented, her tone determined and encouraging. Rose gave a little nod and a tired grin, feeling her heart somehow soar higher than the turbulence of her thoughts. Still, Rose knew she didn't really have enough time to have a proper moment with Jasmine. That would no doubt happen in due course, but right then, in this moment she needed to know just one last thing, "I'll explain everything, but first I need to know who's getting suspended."
Shannon bit her lip, "You already know, Rose. I figured you could do with an evening away from them. It's why I sent Albus back to the Slytherin dorms."
While Rose was grateful for the reprieve of either Albus and Scorpius company right now, the news about their potential suspension meant if she hadn't been in bed, her legs might have given way, "why, though?"
"You know that too," murmured Jasmine, her eyes unable to hide a trace of pity.
Rose pursed her lips before whispering, "because of the broom cupboard scheme?"
Jasmine nodded, Shannon on the other hand looked livid. "That's according to Mary-Anne who overheard Chambers grassing them up. I don't know if McGonagall believes it, but Albus and Scamander had a stand-off in the middle of Hogsmeade after you collapsed too. And well, Scorpius being Scorpius argued Albus' corner to McGonagall apparently which no doubt adding fuel to the fire."
Rose wished she didn't have another mouthful of chocolate as she felt suddenly queasy.
"Albus was adamant he had to speak to you," said Shannon, irritably.
"Seriously though," said Jasmine, giving Shannon a pointed look, "there isn't point in worrying about them, unless McGonagall comes to speak to you."
"I thought you said we shouldn't be stressing her out. Now you've put a Headmistress shaped visit in her head!"
Jasmine gave Rose a long look, something akin to regret.
"I can't tell McGonagall. You know I can't," Rose implored to Jasmine. Feeling an accustomed weight begin to press on her chest.
"I know," said Jasmine, even though she still looked slightly dejected. "I'm sorry for having a go at you before. You were right. It wasn't like most people didn't already know. It's not too dissimilar to parties we frequent is it?"
"What will you do if she comes to speak to you Rose?"
"I don't know," she bit her lip, her head still aching dully. "Maybe I should just hand in my badge," Rose said morosely.
To Rose's surprise, Shannon smirked, "I don't think old Minnie would risk reprimanding a Potter, Malfoy and a Weasley over an incredibly implausible story. Not when the one revealing said story is a colossal jerk."
"Eloquent as ever," muttered Jasmine. Shannon ignored her.
"Also, it's not a bloody patch on what your folks got away with," said Shannon as if this settled the matter.
While she knew Shannon was trying eagerly to quell Rose's unease, she couldn't help but wonder if Chambers would go as far to pressure other students to assent to his story. Considering it was actually the total truth didn't fill Rose with much confidence.
Jasmine continued to watch Rose with a concerned expression. As if she was trying to convince Rose to trust them. "We'll keep our ears to the ground."
Rose tentatively put the chocolate to one side even though she knew she should be eating it. Unfortunately, she didn't get to ask them anything further as an abrupt cough issued from the open door of the matron's room, interrupting them.
Shannon rolled her eyes, "bloody hell, time-keep." She said, getting off Rose's bed and straightening her skirt. Jasmine tucked her book under her arm.
"I highly doubt they've confessed or anything. It's Chamber's word against theirs and it sounds a completely farfetched story as it is," said Jasmine. "Even if it is true."
"Go on. Ten words about your date before we go? Just give me something. Quickly," Shannon urged, her eyes twinkling at Rose. "I might be enraged at the guy for causing you this level of stress, but he looked positively god-like in those slacks today." Rose wanted to grin. Yet something her anxiety held it at bay.
Rose gently rubbed her temple beneath the bandages, recounting the day's events, "We ran into Elizabeth. We frequented a few shops. We made out in the book shop."
Shannon almost squealed, waving her hands and closing her eyes as if suddenly fronting a gospel choir. Before she let out so much as a squeak, Jasmine pinched her hard in the ribs. Shannon grunted as she was steered towards the exit.
"We'll stop by tomorrow morning," insisted Jasmine, flashing a small smile Rose's way. Shannon positively waltzed towards their exit. The gossip evidently lifting her spirits.
"Just had a thought," Rose heard Shannon say, as she picked up her great slab of chocolate again and tried to will herself to take a bite. "I was under the impression chocolate was just for post-dementor incidents."
Rose heard Jasmine respond in her more customary, tired tone, "She hasn't eaten in days, so I assume it's more to line her stomach before eating a full meal." Both the girls gave a cursory wave as they left, Rose could just about hear them still. "The potion Longbottom has given her is a solution of nourishment and sleeping draught, you can tell by the colour, usually both possess a similar violet tone but when combined-,"
"Alright. Calm down 'healer in training'. I didn't need a lecture."
Rose found herself beaming at the small, not particularly remarkable exchange. How familiar and normal it felt. Before she had a chance to contemplate any more of the worries though, Madam Longbottom swept over to her again.
"Time to drink up, Miss Weasley! You've evidently not rested enough," indicating Rose's hand rubbing her temple. "I can see those worry lines are back."
"How exactly will sleep help worries that will still be there when I wake up?" asked Rose, gazing dubiously into the drink that had been thrust into her hand.
Madam Longbottom glared at her, "sleep can't cure wounds, but it can wash them, making the healing process smoother. Think of it as rejuvenation. Now drink!"
Rose mock toasted the matron's retreating back before downing the potion in two gulps. Whatever the potion was, it appeared to be counteracting the alerted rush she'd experienced from the chocolate as she barely had time to put down her glass before sleep enveloped her.
Much to Rose's chagrin, when she awoke the following morning her head and heart felt lighter than they had in weeks. It was as if a fog had been lifted from her muddied perception, to leave a realistic and somehow inner calm. She could envisage setting about compartmentalising the issues that were still present and unresolved.
As Rose sat up in bed, Madam Longbottom came bustling out of her office, wand in hand. Rose looked at her dazedly as the matron levitated a jug of water onto Rose's bedside table. Rose blinked up at her, aware she must have been wearing a slightly vacant expression. The matron caught her eye, and Rose tried to blink her daze away. The Matron gave her an annoyingly smug look, "feeling any lighter Miss Weasley?"
"Hmmm," said Rose nodding dumbly, "I'm starving," she added, her stomach feeling unwelcomingly hollow.
The matron, who was now outwardly smirking, folded her arms across her chest. If Rose had been as highly strung as she were the day previous, she might have over-thought it. "What was in that potion?" She asked, unable to take the impressed tone out of her voice. Rose lifted a hand up to her head, that gratefully was no longer throbbing. It felt instead like slight and gentle reverberations at her temples. Fuzzing.
The matron motioned for Rose to lean forwards as she removed a pillow from her back and began prodding it in the air. It appeared to self-plump before floating to settle at the small of Rose's back.
"Your friend, Miss Cattermole. She wishes to be a healer, correct?"
Rose looked at the matron blankly for a moment. Her brain unable to catch up quite as quickly as it normally would. "Yes, she does."
The matron crossed her arms, tapping her wand absently against her shoulder. "She was accurate with her assessment of the potion I gave you. It was an impressive deduction as it is only recently published material."
Rose shook her head a little, it seemed to ease the faint buzzing in her ears. The matron gave a satisfied nod, even though Rose hadn't said anything.
"Perhaps I should get some breakfast sent up for you."
Rose made to sit up even straighter, pushing past the fog and coming out the other side, "I'm fine to go down to breakfast myself."
The matron scoffed, "hardly. Headmistress McGonagall ordered a sufficient stay in the hospital wing, which I deemed to be more than a single day of bed rest."
"Multiple days?" Queried Rose, who felt that was a little unnecessary given the stark improvement within herself she already felt.
"You may have further, more frequent guests so long as they are not disruptive or endeavour to pose a threat to your wellbeing."
Rose frowned. "How am I supposed to do my Head duties? Sit through lessons?"
The matron gave her a pitying look, "it is my greatest pleasure, that of all you Weasley-Potter brood, I have seen you in the least frequency over your academic career, Miss Weasley. It seems fitting that your mere second visit should fit your family's theme of requiring multiple meals a day with regular, ever-vibrant visitors."
Rose only stared. What would people say? Would someone be filling in for her? Was this it of her Head Girl career? While these thoughts floated around, they still didn't fill her with the habituated panic, instead an indifference had settled within her.
"The Headmistress stressed to me, that some students have been over-exerting themselves in the pursuit of gaining the best results in their studies. And while the staff have constantly pushed for students to achieve their best, they have often overlooked what such stress can do to the individual. Particularly if they stop looking after themselves," the matron raised a haughty eyebrow at Rose, who had the grace to look abashed. This was after all, only just a half truth. Rose has only stopped looking after herself, because of all the adolescent tension she had somehow managed to avoid up til this point in her life.
Losing Albus, placed in Ravenclaw, leading an academia centric life. It all fitted with a less than heroic stint at Hogwarts. Until a few weeks ago that was.
The matron gave her a hard look reserved - Rose could only imagine - for patients not resting and "de-stressing" as she intended. "We must bring you up some breakfast Miss Weasley. For your first morning I feel like perhaps we could make a special request. Anything in particular?" Madam Longbottom flicked her wand towards her, and Rose felt the bandages unfurl. She drew her mouth to one side in thought.
"I've seen you folks eat when you're on form. I've insisted eating is part of your recovery so please don't feel the need to hold back too much."
"That's awfully kind-," the matron held up a hand.
"Now, now. I've got other matters to attend to. Let's not be too humble, Miss Weasley."
Rose tried her hardest to suppress a grin and failed miserably, "pancakes. With anything really. Fruit: berries, bananas, peaches. And honey or peanut butter, or both-,"
"I'll see what I can do," said the matron. Rose felt herself colouring as her stomach gave another almighty growl as the thought of food had let her imagination run away from her.
Sitting back against her pillows, Rose took a moment to close her eyes, taking a few deep breaths. Listening to the sound of her own breathing and the gentle patter of rain against the high windows, just starting to fall over the castle and grounds. The breeze in from the open window was cold and fresh. It let in some of the drizzle. She felt her mind being soothed by it and took the chance to take a moment of clarity.
Rose could only rationally assume that she wasn't about to be expelled. Whatever was transpiring beyond the hospital doors, if it were that serious and her involvement under the same scrutiny, her parents would have been called, and McGonagall would not have waited after what really boiled down to a bump on the head for not taking care of herself. For a moment Rose thought about chastising herself, but instead took another deep breath in through her nose, noting a door creak somewhere in the distance, and breathing out slowly through her mouth. She focused on the rise and fall of her chest, meditating.
A vision of Albus distraught appeared in her mind like smoke, and the soft ache in her chest became more apparent. She took another slow, drawn out breath and held it. She would speak to Albus first. Although he hadn't treated her best in all of this, he'd been dealing with a lot, and Rose was certainly not short of forgiveness for family. You had to be in a family like hers. She could only hope he was alright. She willed with her held breath, feeling herself struggle to hold it, that Albus had at least explained the situation to Scorpius properly now. Albus' repression of feelings wasn't a total surprise, only his treatment of Scorpius within it all was.
Scorpius.
She released the breath she had been holding. Letting the release blow out the last of the resilient, worry-spun cobwebs. She closed her mouth in a wide smile, her eyes remaining shut tight. Rose could recall with renewed ease the warmth that had spread through her as he looked lustfully over his spectacles at her amongst the rows of books. The thrill that had electrified her entire body as she'd been bold enough to kiss him and -
"I almost feel like we're interrupting a private moment."
Rose felt the grin slide off her face and a familiar heat creep up her neck at the quite frankly, rude intrusion on some indulgent thoughts. She woefully opened her eyes, to instead of being greeted by Scorpius' mossy gaze, she witnessed Shannon wearing what Rose considered an unlawful smirk. She spared no time in making herself comfortable on a seat by the bed as Jasmine unceremoniously dumped a stack of textbooks and parchment on her other side.
"Are there no rules about visiting hours anymore?" Rose asked brusquely, displeased at having her daydream cut short.
Shannon's eyed her with mirth, "I think we did, Jaz. Perhaps we ought to come back later?" Rose threw a pillow at her head.
"I take it the novel calming elixir did the trick?" Jasmine asked, pointedly ignoring Shannon and fixing Rose with a look non dissimilar to that of someone peering curiously at a test subject.
Rose nodded.
"Thinking about lover boy, were you?" Shannon persisted in a singsong voice.
While Rose had just about managed to regain some hold on the events of the past few weeks, it didn't stop her want to request Shannon take the shit-eating grin off her face. Before she could, a loud crack drew the attention of all the girls to a round table a few feet from Rose's bed where a rather rotund house elf had appeared. He set about placing a silver tray containing a steaming stack of pancakes onto it; a small knob of butter melting enticingly on top. The tray groaned with the weight of a variety of spreads, a large jar of honey, fruit, yogurt, marmalade and bacon.
Rose could feel her eyes bulging and her stomach lurched in food-deprived desperation.
"Having never been in here for a meal time, I wasn't sure whether you got the same food we got in the hall," mused Jasmine. Even her usually collected exterior cracking in the presence of what Rose would consider a rather extravagant and indulgent breakfast.
"I bet all the patients don't get this sort of treatment," muttered Shannon, wryly.
"Miss has orders to eat well!" piped the house elf, with a squeaky voice not matching his figure. He bowed deeply before popping back out of existence.
Rose threw her sheets off, swung out of bed with an invigored strength and padded across to the tray, which she lifted onto the end of her bed and indicated that her friends were to help.
As she began piling pancakes onto a smaller plate, Jasmine asked wearily, "have Albus or Malfoy tried visiting you again?"
Rose, her mouth full of honey-soaked pancakes shook her head. Her brain was unable to quite latch onto the fact she would quite like to speak to both boys, satiating her hunger was taking precedence.
"Only, they weren't at breakfast," said Shannon conspiratorially as she idly picked a few raspberries out of a bowl.
Rose swallowed, gesturing at the clock above the hospital wing door, "it's not even close to the end of regular breakfast hours. They'll likely only be surfacing now."
Shannon and Jasmine shared a concerned look. Rose glanced between them wondering how best to dictate her place in the events of the last few weeks.
"I highly doubt it's cause for concern," she said, keeping her tone level, even though the talk of suspension meant she didn't believe her own words.
Jasmine shuffled uncomfortably under Shannon's arched look.
"In the spirit of friendship transparency, we had a discussion about Malfoy," Jasmine began, avoiding Rose's eye. "And maybe, if he treats you right, we can, and no doubt should cut him some slack."
Shannon had narrowed her eyes, as if she was dissatisfied with Jasmine's declaration, but nodded curtly in the other girls direction all the same.
Rose felt a grip on her heart. He's not come to see you yet.
"How come?" she asked instead, smothering another pancake with marmalade.
Rose knew all too well that Shannon had been the instigator of this revelation, and no doubt urged Jasmine to be the one to voice it as a likely admittance she might have previously judged the boys too harshly. At least this might be one ordeal she could put behind her, Rose thought.
"In terms of his idiotic life choices, you are the exception." Shannon said, smirking again. "This bullshit talk of suspension has given him more of my sympathies certainly. Besides, I don't think either of us have ever seen you wear that look before."
Rose felt herself colouring and internally cursed her ancestry.
"If it continues though, let me be the first to say it will become rapidly nauseating," Jasmine stated frankly, who had begun eating cashew butter out of the jar with a spoon. "I always found Malfoy quite amusing actually," continued Jasmine thickly, all usual decorum apparently forgotten.
Rose and Shannon looked at her in abject shock. Rose couldn't ever recall Jasmine having ever said a truly nice word about Scorpius. Least not to her.
Jasmine caught their expressions and her own dark eyebrows rose considerably beneath her fringe.
"I meant amusing in an idiotic sense. Not in a remotely intelligent way."
Rose swallowed, "I'm glad you cleared that up."
"Thought you'd gone totally bonkers on us then," Shannon agreed, raising an eyebrow in Rose's direction before shaking her head in silent amusement.
Within the quiet hum of the hospital wing, the creak of the ward doors was unmistakable as they opened to admit the cautious visitor. The three girls turned with curiosity as a young man with unruly, black hair slid between the doors attempting to go unnoticed.
Although his expression was dour, Rose was still gratefully to see him. She wanted to make sure he was alright. And she really needed answers.
With his hands deep in his pockets, Albus Potter made a beeline towards Rose's bed, but he didn't get that far. He froze at the sight of the two Ravenclaw's stood around Rose's bed and for a horrible moment Rose thought he might bolt back out of the door.
Both Shannon and Jasmine were watching Albus with distrust. The moment felt taught like wire; stretched far beyond the presumed social niceties they might have once exchanged. Rose found the girls loyalty unfathomably endearing, yet she found her sympathy towards Albus outweighing it. With everything he'd kept bottled up for so long, she knew he hadn't had an easy year. Her new found clarity was inspiring a forgiveness that would once have been deeply buried in the recesses amongst the envy shrouding her view of Albus and Scorpius' relationship. How times had changed. How things had gotten so much more complicated.
"Hi Albus!" Rose said encouragingly, waving him over to them, hoping her enthusiasm could diffuse the situation.
Albus turned towards her when she spoke, the sunlight amplifying the dark circles beneath his eyes as if he hadn't slept. Her concern for what he'd gone through the past few days only intensified.
"Madam Longbottom sent a house elf up with some breakfast for me. We'll never manage it between us," said Rose good naturedly, spreading her hands to indicate the mountain of food still laden on the tray.
"I'm not hungry," said Albus, tersely. He approached the bed with caution, his gaze flickering between the girls by Rose's bed who were now glaring at him with a brutality Rose thought was unwarranted.
Rose bit her lip, her mind whirring into a higher gear; fuelled by more food than she'd consumed in days, "you should eat something if you've not been for breakfast." Rose said, her voice still surprisingly genial, "it turns out it was lack of eating and general overworked exhaustion that I landed myself here."
Albus shot her a pointed look and she shrugged, raising a conspiratorial eyebrow. Albus' shoulders relaxed a fraction.
"Go on, Albus. There is no way we'll get through all this." Rose insisted, nudging the tray towards the end of the bed.
Appearing convinced, Albus approached the girls, "I'd have to disagree. I've seen you eat on Christmas Day at Nan's. Excuse me."
Evidently having won Rose's approval, Albus squeezed beside Shannon not even looking at her, and grabbed a particularly thick pancake from the stack, dunking it in the peanut butter. The girl failed to move to allow Albus easy access to the edibles; the air still thick with unease.
As Albus began to munch on his pancake, Jasmine made to rise from her chair, but Shannon held up a hand halting her. Shannon was squaring her shoulders as if preparing for an assault.
"Why isn't Malfoy here with you?" asked Shannon coldly, not taking her eyes off Albus.
He chewed his breakfast calmly before answering, "he didn't want to come."
It felt like something icy had spilt down her back, and Rose found her lucidity fraying as she latched onto that inexorable, self-deprecating thought that maybe Scorpius didn't want to be with her after all. That he'd changed his mind after all this.
Shannon riled at this, whipping her hair violently over her shoulder, "that's bullshit, Potter. He carried her most of the way up here and he's spent the best part of our Hogwarts career ogling across the Great Hall! What sort of game are you playing?"
Albus glanced up at her, his expression morose. "This isn't, and never was a game." The despondency in his voice was unnerving. And Rose knew instinctively that while Shannon's protests on her behalf were an irreplaceable demonstration of allegiance, and it was questionable whether Albus would ever return such a courtesy to Rose herself, she knew the real reason behind his inflated sullenness.
"Do you think you two could let Albus and I talk alone?" Rose found herself asking. Shannon looked at her in utter betrayal.
"Look…," Rose began, wanting desperately to keep the peace between the two warring factions in her Hogwarts life, "a lot has gone on the past few weeks, and let's be honest for once – Albus and I have only just reconnected, so I doubt he's going to want to elaborate on what's transpired right now to a captive audience."
Rose looked to Albus for any sort of affirmation to see the boy shoving his hands back deep into his pockets.
"Something like that," he said, gazing out of the window with a faux disinterest. His shoulders tight, betraying him.
Rose looked to Jasmine pleadingly, hoping she would get the point. To her relief, Jasmine simply wore a frown of concentration as if she were slowly piecing parts of the puzzle together. Frustratingly, for someone who considered most social interactions an insipid waste of time, when she put even a trace amount of focus into the nuances of human behaviour, she could be incredibly perceptive.
Blinking slowly as if clearing a fog, Jasmine nodded, moving out of her seat and began collecting her things. She met Rose's gaze briefly, and her mouth upturned in a half-smile. Rose returned it gratefully before waving both the girls off as Shannon muttered angrily under her breath. Jasmine merely encouraging her through the door as both girls disappeared out of sight.
When the door of the hospital wing closed behind them, Rose found herself glancing at Albus expectantly. She sat up straighter, to demonstrate her attentiveness, her starched nightgown rustling loudly against the sheets.
Albus busied himself by taking another pancake from the cooling stack. As he chewed, Rose took the opportunity to fill the silence.
"Thanks for coming up to visit," she began awkwardly, fiddling with the hem of her nightgown. Albus took his time swallowing, so she continued. "Are you doing alright after what happened in Hogsmeade?"
"Would you be surprised if I said everything has gone to shit?" Rose felt an unmistakable tightening in her chest. She bit her lip, hoping she wouldn't need to probe. She needn't have worried, like a tiny spark igniting an inferno Albus launched himself off the bed and began pacing rapidly across the floor.
"Somehow the whole fucking school knows, Rose. Or they think they know. And Lorcan hasn't deigned correct anyone!" Albus' tone was mutinous.
"You mean about what happened in Hogsmeade?" Rose felt a surge of guilt as she considered her own embarrassment at having collapsed out on the street in the busy village, which paled in comparison.
"Yep. The whole sodding argument!"
"Surely they don't really all know the contex-,"
"They all know I'm gay!" Albus yelled, and she found herself flinching away from him as he rounded on her. "The sordid secret that the precious son of Harry Potter – his living fucking image – is into guys! And hell, doesn't every single one of them have their two knuts to say about it!"
Rose found herself crumpling under the weight of these words. Albus' secret spread out for the whole populous of the castle to see. Without his consent. She began ringing her hands in her lap, "you know you should be reporting any homophobic behaviour, Albus. If anyone is saying anything-,"
"That's not even the half of it," Albus interrupted, nearly treading a furrow into the stone at the end of Rose's bed. He seemed unable to stop now the floodgates had been opened, "Chambers started on me. Again."
Rose sat there in shock. A hot bubbling rage building inside of her. She was unable to get the questions out of her mouth. Albus' eyes were protruding out of his head, his tirade and frustration emanating off of him. Yet at the sight of him in such distress, she somehow found some words.
"I'm so sorry, Albus. Perhaps the memory charm wasn't as successful as we thought. Maybe I didn't do it succinctly enough," Rose said, her voice wavering.
"No." Albus urged, running both hands through his hair, "It obviously wasn't you at all. You can't change a prick like that. The homophobic arsehole." Albus kicked the chair beside her bed savagely, and Rose wondered absently why Matron Longbottom hadn't been attracted by the noise. She leaned forwards, placing a hand on Albus' shoulder, giving it what she hoped was a reassuring squeeze. His eyes flickered up to meet hers, his distress overwhelming her. The dark in his eyes seemed to fade as their eyes remained locked and something inside him seemed to cave. His eyes shone.
"He's not speaking to me."
And just like that, the emotion was raw and devastating. Rose felt her own bottom lip quivering, squeezing his shoulder again to ground herself, somehow managing to maintain her own composure. She hadn't wanted to assume. But him not coming with Albus suggested something was wrong. She didn't want to say his name. She didn't want to make it about him, or accidentally about them because this really wasn't the moment for that.
"Why?"
With what seemed like a huge effort, Albus lowered himself onto the end of Rose's bed. She moved to wind her arm around his shoulders, but he shrugged it off, instead shifting to face her fully. Her arms fell limply to her sides, and she recognised he was collecting himself. Before he explained the whole story. Before he broke his own heart with his confession.
"Chambers started on me again last night. If you haven't heard he went directly to McGonagall about things."
Rose swallowed, her anxiety amplified, "Shannon mentioned it. But McGonagall hasn't said anything has she?"
"She got us both in. Said it was an outrageous accusation. So farfetched she had to take it seriously. She said that if any evidence came to light then we would have to be severly disciplined."
"So, at the moment, you're not in trouble?" Rose urged.
The boy shrugged. "There isn't any hard evidence. We were always careful. But that isn't what I want to explain," continued Albus, his voice garnering an impatience edge.
"By this point, Scorp already wasn't speaking to me. He said he didn't understand why I hadn't told him. How could he think I'd tell my best mate I loved him? I didn't want to lose him."
"What did Chambers do?"
"After McGonagall spoke to us, last night after dinner Chambers followed me. Made to walk down to the Slytherin dorms with me. He was taunting me. And I tried. I really tried to keep my cool, Rose."
"He's disgusting, Albus." Rose said, nodding in agreement. "He's just a horrible human being."
"Well I obviously share the sentiments. I drew my wand, but Scorp was already there stood between us. There was a few choice words said and eventually Chambers backed off and went back up the stairs to the entrance hall." Albus drew a shaking hand across his jaw. "Scorp barely even looked at me during this exchange."
"But he was there defending you?" Rose asked, encouragingly.
Albus scoffed, "yes. That doesn't mean a great deal when he won't look me in the eye. He's probably disgusted with me too."
"Albus for Circe's sake, you know that's not true."
"Do I? He spent the last few years hoping he'd get a chance with you, and then he finds out I've fancied him instead. And ruined everything."
"Albus, you've been friends for years. There is no way Scorpius would throw that away over something like this."
"I do, Rose." Albus insisted, his hands fisting the bed sheets by his sides. "Before he left me in the corridor, he said I was selfish."
Rose was shocked by this revelation, "not because you-,"
"Because I was risking jogging Chambers memory by attacking him again. That I was being irresponsible. Ungrateful even, after what you did for me with the memory charm."
"I did what anyone would have done, given the circumstances." Rose said in a small voice.
Albus chuckled darkly, all mirth absent from his eyes, "this time last year you wouldn't have and you know it."
Rose sat there in stunned silence trying to process everything and trying not to feel hurt by Albus' incinuation. "I would have defended you despite where we were. Especially if it had been a prejudice slur." Rose found her eyes getting hot.
"Maybe then." Albus locked eyes with her. His gaze unfocussed and regretful. "Scorp was right. I was being irresponsible. You risked your wand for me that night. And my temper was getting in the way."
Rose made a noncommittal noise, but this time Albus took her hand.
"I'm so sorry, Rose. I'm sorry I took our renewed relationship for granted. I'm just… I'm just trying to make it right."
"Are you doing this for you, or are you doing this so Scorp will speak to you again?" the words had left her mouth before she could stop them. But the betrayal of the foundations set from losing Albus back in first year weren't totally destroyed. To her surprised, Albus didn't look hurt. He merely raised an eyebrow.
"I guess I deserve that."
"Sorry, that came out wrong."
"No. You're right." Albus shifted awkwardly, Rose found the movement reminded her more of that of a guilty child, than an adult requesting forgiveness. It felt as if this sort of repentance was an unfamiliarity for him. Something Rose could easily believe. "I mean, I want to make things right with Scorp. Of course I do-,"
"I bet you feel like you've lost a limb?" said Rose, having already forgiven Albus for his misdemeanours. There were more important things in life than petty grudges.
Albus gave such a sigh it felt like some sort of spirit had left his body with the droop in his shoulders that followed. "Pretty much." He closed his eyes and tilted his head back.
"I'm afraid of losing him."
"I know." This time when Rose squeezed Albus' hand, he didn't flinch away. Instead he clasped her hand back,as if it was anchoring him. "You know that's rubbish though don't you?" Rose asked softly, watching as Albus' face contorted into a frown.
"You don't know that."
"You're right. It would be arrogant of me to assume I know Scorpius as well as you do. Which is why I'm saying you already know he'll come round."
"This has never happened. I've never not had him to turn to."
"If it counts for anything, you've got me, Al."
Albus took a shuddering breath, suddenly unable to meet her gaze, "That does mean a lot, Rose."
"And that must have been hard for you to admit," Rose teased lightly. Albus shot her a look which emboldened her to continue, "you should have a shot of my calming elixir. It really helped me compartmentalise. Just a tipple will probably give you a fraction more clarity."
Albus drew a hand through his hair, the exact maneuver inherited from his father, "Merlin, we have corrupted you."
Rose smiled at him, "it's just a calming elixir. Nothing illicit. I had to drink it by the cupload. A shot might help. That or you fall asleep at the end of my bed. Here." Rose leant over to her night stand, grabbed the bottle containing the alluring purple liquid and handed it to her cousin. He took it sceptically, taking out the cork and giving the liquid a sniff.
"A shot, you say?"
"I can't see it hurting," said Rose, feeling somehow inexplicably lighter as Albus took a generous swig from the bottle before handing it back to her. Maybe she should just give up her Head Girl badge, she considered in that moment that she would for this familial moment to continue.
Rose watched her cousin curiously. After a moment, he leapt off the bed and began pacing again a look of determination on his face.
"Erm, this wasn't the reaction I'd expected," admitted Rose, moving the tray of cold pancakes off her bed.
Albus paused briefly, hiccuped and continued his pacing. "Nope, you were right. That was what I needed." He gestured at the bottle sat innocently on her beside. "This has given me a sense of clarity."
As he turned to her, his face set and his eyes more focussed than she could ever remember seeing; Rose considered that perhaps a shot from that little bottle wasn't so innocent after all.
"How was your date?" Albus all but demanded, folding his arms across his chest. Definitely not so innocent.
"W-w-what does that have to do with anything?" Rose asked, as her stomach gave a small flip of it's own accord.
Albus' mouth upturned one side, "so it went well then?"
Against her will, Rose felt her face flood with heat and Albus' expression turned smug.
"Should we really be talking about this after everything that's been happening?" Rose asked, resisting the urge to fan herself.
"I don't need to hear – neigh – don't want to hear the details!" Albus insisted, spreading his hands. "But if it went well it means the two of you are at least on good terms. Right?"
Rose bit her lip, already beginning to see where this unlikely cross-examination was headed. Then the real crux of the matter was churning about in her head once again. She felt unable to shirk it completely, and considered taking a shot of the calming elixir herself to drown out the doubt. "I don't know, Albus. The last moment in Hogsmeade before I collapsed was him finding out I'd known about you." It was Rose's turn to avoid Albus' gaze, the guilt almost overwhelming her.
She saw Albus encroach towards her in her periphery, "he would have found out anyway. The whole thing with Lorcan was a mess. You are still in his good books." Albus repeated, an urgency lacing his words now.
"Well he hasn't been here, so how can you know that?" Rose felt the weight of those words hang in the ait between them. The space felt suddenly bereft of oxygen. Without Albus being privy to the inner workings of Scorpius Malfoy's brain at the time, it felt like the pair of cousins were in the dark. Neither in a position to readily reassure the other.
"I have no idea why he hasn't. I've barely seen him around, I'd assumed he'd have been up here."
"Only Shannon and Jasmine have visited," Rose confessed, her throat dry.
"That might have deterred him."
"You're just saying that so I'll speak to him for you."
"No. We both were of the impression your Ravenclaw girlfriends don't think very much of us. And he's coming off the back of a rather dramatic discourse with me."
"Albus," Rose all but pleaded.
Albus looked like he had no sympathies, his eyes still bright and determined. "He is explicitly avoiding me. Leaving the library when I went in, avoiding the Slytherin table."
"It's only been a day," Rose continued to implore, unsure why she was denying her cousin this, when she truthfully really did want to speak to Scorpius herself. She was just wary of approaching him in a hostile mood, that had previously been her favoured territory. It left her disquieted.
Her cousin approached the food laden tray again, picking up another pancake. They were definitely cold now, although their rigidity didn't appear to be a deterrent.
"Can I ask you something, then?"
"What?" she asked tiredly.
Albus laid a pancake across his palm, spreading peanut butter to the edges, "Do you want to speak to him?"
"Of course, I do! It just doesn't seem like a good time. Not after everything you've said!" Rose cried, trying to keep the desperation out of her voice. Realising that the issue she had with all this was that she was afraid of being rebuffed. The fire burning in her belly whenever she thought about Scorpius being doused by a potential rejection.
"When is the right time? Strike while the irons hot!" Albus suggested, rolling up the pancake into a tube like shape and biting into it wolfishly.
Rose stood up, crossing her arms over her chest, moving beside her cousin while glaring at the tray as if it had done her a personal disservice. "What is that supposed to mean?"
Albus swallowed, "Your blush has always betrayed you. Whatever happened on your date, you bloody relished it."
Rose sighed exasperatedly, grabbing a bowl of blueberries off the tray, "only five minutes ago, we were discussing the extent of your feelings towards him! How do you think I'm supposed to take this?" she asked defensively and shrill, the thoughts that had been made clear by the calmin elixir were being forced back to the surface, unravelling. "I went on the date anyway, even though I knew how you felt and now I feel guilty about doing that to you. Anxious that he won't want to give me the time of day, because yes, I did have an amazing time, and to be perfectly honest I'm afraid of being rebuffed by someone who until very recently, I hadn't wanted to give the time of day!"
"It shouldn't bother you, going on the date I mean," Albus shrugged, gesturing with his half eaten pancake. "Scorpius is straight. I know that, I didn't need him to confirm it for me. I've always known it, really. Lorcan didn't know that, and I made this sodding mess because I was thinking I would end up getting what I wanted." Rose was envious as to how levelled Albus seemed compared to when he'd arrived and suddenly felt compelled to take a shot of the elixir herself. Instead she stuffed her mouth full of blueberries as he opened his to continue, "I'm trying here. Like I said, to fix the mess that I've made. I do honestly think that he'd be willing to give you all the time in the world. And amongst all this I did actually like Lorcan. Like, really liked him. And I've screwed that up to. So, I'd really like it if something good came out of all this."
Rose looked at him then. Really looked at him. The sunlight now filtering through the windows was throwing his cheekbones into sharp relief. He looked almost as aristocratic as Scorpius did in profile. Albus' Weasley jumper was taught to his broad shoulders, and this new deliberate expression made him look grown up. After a moment, Albus smiled at her.
"Scorp gets under your skin, doesn't he?" Albus said, with a melancholy reminiscent of lost memories abruptly recalled.
"That calming elixir has made you go a total one-eighty," Rose said, taking a beat to process this and feeling – this time – the welcoming flush as Albus sat down on the bed, placing his hands in his lap.
"If it went well yesterday, you should speak to him. As we've been dropping truth dungbombs, and it probably comes as no surprise either, although I need you to know this anyway. He's held a candle for you for ages and he's not going to let that go easily. Definitely not if it went well yesterday. You said yourself," a smirk grew on his face, "I know him best, so you should take some stock in what I'm saying."
Rose rolled her eyes, "I don't know how you didn't get an O in History of Magic with that sort of reasoning."
Albus ignored the comment, "And I don't know how the Head Girl doesn't think Scorpius Malfoy is a lucky sod for letting him take her to Hogsmeade. It doesn't hurt she's one of my better cousins."
Rose scoffed, but the smile lighting up her face now was genuine through her forced, modest disbelief. Her heart was beating with a renewed vigour in her chest, an excitement bubbling once again to the surface.
"Who the hell are you, and what have you done with Albus Potter?"
Albus appeared to discount this, scratching the back of his head, "ok, I admit. I've barely eaten yet today, besides what you've fed me and I think that elixir might have had a similar effect as a light Cheering Charm. I feel a little euphoric and I'm trying to keep it together."
"I might have to write that down, it's a slightly experimental potion, so the small dosage combined with you staying awake might have this adverse effect."
"So I could also start vomiting or sprout antlers?" Albus deadpanned.
"Maybe have a lay down," Rose said, indicating the bed he was sat on.
"Nah," said Albus waving a hand absently, "I'm heading back to the dorms anyway now I've spoken to you." He stood up, swaying slightly, "Yeah." His eyes were a little glazed over, "You could make a fortune selling that elixir."
Rose chuckled, "maybe wait til you're out of Hogwarts before investing in any more illicit ideas, Albus."
"Yes, you're right. Can't regress now." Albus rolled up the sleeves of his jumper, eyeing the bottle hungrily. Rose instincts flared and she moved so she was in Albus' eye line instead.
"You really think he'll listen to me?" Rose pushed, knowing full well she wanted to speak with him. Had known she would go out of her way to find him the first chance she got. For need of closure, one way or another.
"I think you have the best chance of anyone right now." Albus said, grasping her shoulder and giving it a squeeze. He bid her goodbye, pointing his wand soundlessly at the Matron's office door, most likely lifting a Muffliato Charm, and snuck out of sight beyond the doors of the infirmary.
Now left alone, that alluring grip held on to her heart altogether. With it, a nervous, excited energy. She knew she would need a plan. If he wasn't visiting and he was exiling himself from Albus, he too would be relatively alone. She hadn't ever remembered him being close with any of the other boys in their year, only talking Albus' ear off whenever he got the chance. Now unable to chat Albus' ear off, he might at least spare her a few words. As she glanced back over her unfinished breakfast, a plan began to form and she nestled back into the sheets and considered that perhaps, aside from all the bad, and the drama and the stress, she had truly got her cousin back. His acquiescence regarding her and Scorpius allowed her to settle comfortably in the bed.
She closed her eyes. Allowing herself to daydream again. She imagined locating Scorpius in the library among the towering shelves. An amicable heart-to-heart that would hopefully lead to something involving very little space between them. Albus had given her the hope she needed. Rose decided the quicker she was discharged the better.
Author note II
I don't know if anyone reads this story and I don't know if anyone will (still) like it. I've had one of the hardest years of my life so writing has been at the bottom of my to-do list. I appreciate everyone who has reviewed requesting for it to continue. My love for the story isn't as great as when I started, so staying motivated and making it interesting has been difficult. Either which way, this will get finished in the new year.
I thank you so much for giving some time to reading it all the same.
Happy Holidays one and all!