Be warned: this is an AU, but I won't tell why because if I did, I would spoil the fun! XD
Summary: Theodore only wished he could remember her the way she was before.
Rating: T
Warning: Character death
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling, and nothing belongs to me, as always. I don't make any money out of this story.
.:.
Written for:
[HSWW] Assignment #11: Psychology: Psychology of Memory / Task #3 - Write about something highly emotional
[THC]
Round 8 - Year 4
House: Hufflepuff
Year: 3
Category: 4. Prompts
Prompt: 2. Missing the chance to say goodbye to a loved one
Word count (without the A/N): 1,966 words
Dead End: Theodore Nott and Hannah Abbott
He sat down on the dusty stairs leading up to the entrance of the castle. If he were to tell the truth, he was completely defeated. He didn't even know why he had come back, if he knew… knew that it was all gone now. Perhaps it was because Hannah had to still be in there, and he needed to be sure, even if all he could think about was, I didn't even get the chance to say goodbye. I messed up, I messed up, I messed up...
He couldn't muster the strength to stand up again though. All he could do was look up at the bright sun shining in the cloudless sky. A bright sun that only reminded him of another day… A happier day.
He looked around at his surroundings and nodded to himself. Really, he was quite satisfied with his choice. Of course, it wasn't the best of days, but he couldn't really predict the weather. He couldn't have known that it would rain like hell the day before and that this road would actually be covered in mud, even if the sun was shining above them.
He felt warm under his suit and the bright light of the sun, and he looked towards the end of the road that disappeared behind the hill once more to distract himself from the warmth. It was then that he saw her. She had been smart enough to put on a dark blue dress with no sleeves and not warm clothes like he had. The colour of the dress didn't suit her though, not as much as the yellow one he had seen her wear once. It created too much of a contrast with her milk white skin and her blonde hair.
"Hannah," he greeted her with a little (and grateful, he had to admit it) smile.
He was indeed grateful that she had decided to meet him. She hadn't answered a single one of his letters through the year, and of course he could understand why, with what had happened to her mother and the fact that his father was a Death Eater, but still… It had hurt him, the way she had seemed to reject him.
When he had written to her, saying he wished more than anything that she could meet him here today, he hadn't dared hope that she would actually answer. And the next thing she said made his heart clench.
"Why did you want to meet me here, Theodore?" she asked him in a wary voice that he certainly wasn't used to hear coming from her, and he tried not to wince when he heard his full name. "It's literally in the middle of nowhere."
He took a deep breath and answered, "I just wanted to talk to you."
"And you couldn't do it in front of my p—in front of my father? You felt forced to do it here, of all places?"
"Well… yes. What I'm about to say and do… I couldn't do it in front of your father, or anyone else for that matter, because… I've never done that to anyone before." He didn't realize how wrong he must have sounded before it was too late and Hannah was quickly stepping away from him, her brown eyes widening in fear.
And he certainly didn't expect her to trip and fall down on the muddy ground. Her midnight blue dress was now covered in mud, and she sighed, "Great, now my dress is ruined."
"I didn't want to scare you, Han. Especially with… what happened. I just wanted to tell you…" He took a deep breath once more, trying to calm his nerves. "I think I…"
He remembered then. He remembered the way he only had eyes for her, and the way her eyes shone brightly when she smiled, and the way she always ran a hand through her curls when her shyness got the better of her, and the way her innocence had been the only thing to lighten the dark path he was meant to follow. This could only mean he had feelings for her that went far beyond friendship. He had realized that during their time apart this year, but never acted on it until now. And the truth was, he was scared. Scared that she might reject him for good, scared that she would laugh at him… Scared that she would love him back, even.
She must have seen something in his eyes, because she stopped cleaning her dress as best she could and took a step closer to him, her eyebrows furrowing.
"Theo?" she asked, her voice laced with uncertainty.
"I think I…" He tried to say it again, but the words didn't cross his lips, and he cursed inwardly.
He hadn't expected her to smile, a smile as bright as the sun that shone above them. He couldn't help but smile back though, and he told her, "What's that smile for, Han?"
"Tell me what you wanted to say, Theo," she mysteriously replied. "I'm sure I'll be glad to hear it."
"It's… The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed," he started, and he couldn't stop ranting then. "The way that you smile brightens up my days. The way that you're shy around me makes me laugh, and…"
For the first time since a long, long time, she laughed a little and put a gentle hand on his arm. And then she was apologizing for everything, her hand tightening more and more on his arm all the while. She apologized for ignoring him all year, for believing that he had anything to do with her mother's murder… She apologized for a lot of things that she didn't really need to say sorry for.
As he looked into her deep, brown eyes, he found something stir within him, and he finally uttered the words, cutting off her rant.
"You what?" she exclaimed very ungracefully.
"I'm in love with you," he repeated more discernibly, and he was more sincere than he had ever been.
She shied away from him and suddenly the worry came gnawing back at him. Didn't she love him back? Had he imagined it all? Had this year and what had happened to her mother changed anything?
She must have seen his worry in his eyes, because she took a step towards him, her brown eyes filled with shyness.
"It's not… that, Theo," she declared. "It's just… No one has ever loved me before, and… why would you? You're a Slytherin, I'm a Hufflepuff… We're not made to be together."
And maybe she was right, maybe it would just be another dead end, but he kissed her nonetheless. And it was enough, just for a moment, to explain everything.
He jumped when he felt a heavy hand land on his shoulder, and he half-turned to see Ernie Macmillan sitting beside him on the stairs.
"She told me, you know?" the Hufflepuff started. "She told me what you meant to her… and what she meant to you."
"Meant?" he asked, his voice raw from unshed tears.
"I think you already know, don't you, Nott?" Ernie shot back bitterly.
Theodore shook his head in defeat. "I didn't even get to say goodbye. I missed the chance to see her again before we were…" He trailed off then.
"Forcedly evacuated?" Ernie offered.
He only hummed to confirm. Here it was. The hard reality that she was truly gone, that it hadn't been just a bad feeling wrenching at his gut… It hit him like a stone wall. She was gone, and he would never see her again. Never see her bright, brown eyes, her bright smile, her—
"You could go and see her," Ernie Macmillan continued. "I'm sure people would understand. Those who matter anyway."
"No," he retorted harshly. "I prefer remembering her alive and well than as a dead body on a cold floor."
"Can you though? Remember her, I mean? Truly remember her?"
He stared at the other boy, not wanting to admit that his question had instilled doubt within him. But then, as he lowered his gaze, he saw something wrapped around the other student's hand, and he gasped. This was… This was the necklace he had given her!
He remembered happier days then, once more.
They were standing in front of a mirror at her house, and his arms were wrapped around her waist, his chin resting on her shoulder. There was a sweet smile on her lips as she fidgeted a little against him.
He could feel the weight of the box in his pocket, and he finally stepped away from her. She turned to look at him and he pulled out the little box, opening it to reveal the golden necklace he had bought for her, unbeknownst to everyone he knew.
She gasped but took it from him, her touch gentle as she opened it, almost as if she feared she would break it. Inside the locket was a flower, and when she looked up at him, he revealed with a grin, "It made me think of you. The flower and all. Because you know what they say? The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all."
"And what would that flower be?"
"You," he murmured, kissing her lips sweetly.
He took the necklace from her then, and locked it around her neck, and they both admired her as her reflection shone brightly in the mirror.
"How did you get this?" he whispered when he came back to his senses.
"She gave it to me the last time I saw her. Just in case, she said." He paused, before continuing, sadness filling his voice, "When's the last time you saw her? Truly saw her, I mean? Alone?"
"A long time ago."
They both stayed silent after that, until Eddie told him to come with him once more. He refused immediately though, sighing. "It won't do any good. I can't talk to the person I love. No one takes me seriously. I wanna be numb again."
The Hufflepuff studied him carefully before he opposed him. "I'll take you seriously. I can see how much you loved her. You're… You're a mess. But you don't have to be. You could have our support…"
"No." Theodore didn't continue for a long time, but when he did, his voice was filled with regret. "I knew happy endings didn't exist, I knew it was just another dead end, and I did it anyway. I must be stupid, right?"
"You're right, Nott. Happy endings don't exist. Life just doesn't suck as much for certain periods of time. It didn't suck when you were with her, and that's what truly matters." The Hufflepuff paused, and then started again, his voice stirring something inside of him. "You'll find someone again that will make you feel like your life doesn't suck as much. I'm sure of that."
His eyes welled up with tears when he realized that this… this boy didn't even truly know him, and he was still trying to comfort him. Perhaps he was only doing it because he used to be friends with Hannah, but his opinion of the Hufflepuffs suddenly changed. He was sure the lot of them was stronger than he ever would be, and if he needed proof… He already had it.
Ernie offered him the necklace, and he took it, locking it around his neck. He had missed the chance to say goodbye to her properly, but this way she would be with him forever and ever. And losing the only love he'd ever had hurt, but when the warmth of the necklace collided with his skin he realized that perhaps Ernie was right, and he would find someone to love again.
Also written for:
[HSWW] Herbology Hangout: Mixed seed (character): Hannah Abbott, Mixed seed (dialogue): "When's the last time you saw her?"
[HSWW] Yearly Events
365 Prompts: 65. Grateful
Insane Prompt Challenge: 260. (dialogue) "It made me think of you."
Yearly Scavenger Hunt: 58. Write for a pairing with less than 100 stories written on the database
[HSWW] Seasonal Challenges (Spring)
Days of the Year: 27th May (Memorial Day) - Write about a character remembering someone they've lost
Seasonal Challenge - Spring: 2. (word) bright
Seasonal Challenge - Colours: 3. Milk White
Seasonal Challenge - Birthstones: 10. Quartz - (dialogue) "Great, now my dress is ruined."
Seasonal Challenge - Flowers: 2. Daffodil - (object) mirror
Elemental Challenge - Earth: Earth Prompt #7. (word) mud
Amanda's Challenge: Pairing #9 (Buffy/Spike) - Write about a blonde character
Hufflepuff Challenge - Hufflepuff Prompts: Character #18. Hannah Abbott
Hufflepuff Challenge - Hufflepuff Prompts: Trait #11. Gentle
Star Chart - Spring Astronomy Prompts: 13. June 21st (June Solstice): (word) innocence
[HSWW] Writing Club (May)
Assorted Appreciation: 8. Klaus Flouride - (title) Dead End
Disney Challenge (Mulan): Dialogue #2. "The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all."
Showtime (Bonnie and Clyde): 8. You Love Who You Love - (genre) romance
Amber's Attic: Dialogue #5. "I can't talk to the person I love. No one takes me seriously. I wanna be numb again."
Liza's Lyrics (Boybands): 6. One Direction, What Makes You Beautiful - "The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed."
Lo's Lowdown: 8. (plot point) losing someone you love / a best friend
Bex's Basement: 13. "Happy endings don't exist. Life just doesn't suck as much for certain periods of time."
Film Festival: 12. (style) flashbacks
[HSWW] The Brands War II
Nakia: (trope) lost love, (word) sincere, (genre) romance, (pairing) Theo / Hannah
[HSWW] Magic Kingdom
Take a walk down Main Street USA: 5. Disney Clothiers - (object) dress