I am driven by madness, by a welling feeling inside that comes up from the greatest depths. It forces me to put these words down, and I must record them.

O Blessed Virgin, heed my prayer. Come to me and draw me within your arms, your Son, stained with filth. The blood of men is on my hands, and though I wash it in baptismal waters, it remains. It soaks into my skin and brings their curses deep within me, to my core. My soul is laid bare before them, and is tormented by them.

The Savior is dead and I am alive, and I fall to his knees and pray. Come to me, O Jesu, fill my heart with your love. I am a man without it. I walk the earth and all I see, I wish to destroy. I have no love - or if it is love which I have, it is love of destruction. Save me from myself. I am only a vessel before you, and if I am shattered, bond my broken pieces together with your holy substance. Make me whole, that I may walk before you in light and life, and that I need not descend again to the holy dark beneath this world. It draws me in but I cannot go.

I cannot leave you, my Father of Light. My Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Bring me to thy kingdom, and lead me through its streets as a lamb through a meadow. Give me not bread, but let me graze on grass that I may be fully humbled before thy splendor. For thine is the staff and the table, and the cup of desire is only thine. Let me fill it, that I too may share in its blessings under your holy throne. The wheels of fire turn and swallow me in their revolutions, endlessly shifting from one world to the next. They burn me, purifying my sins and leading me to thee. Amen.

XXX

Kirei Kotomine finished drawing the summoning circle. All the other supplies were here, ready to call forth his Servant from the Throne of Heroes.

He had agreed to his Father's and Tokiomi's request, to serve as a support Master for Tokiomi in the Holy Grail War. They could ask him for anything, he wouldn't care. At this point, his life was devoid of all meaning.

Part of Kirei had been able to find fulfillment in caring for his wife, but with her gone, there was nothing left. His devotion to God was something that gave him an outer shell of purpose, but it didn't penetrate to the depths of his soul as he thought it should. Perhaps at least with his father on Earth, he might somehow be able to approximate the closeness to his Father in Heaven that he sought. Perhaps the love from one, would simulate the love from the other, and he might no longer be empty inside.

He stood up. The relic for the summoning - an easy item to procure - stood on a pedestal nearby. The fluid was held in a wine chalice in his hand. The blood within it swirled like wine, rippling the surface. He had forsworn alcohol when Claudia's condition began to worsen, but even now he kept his collection intact. Though he did not drink any of it, having the wine there seemed somehow right to him.

He tipped the chalice, and as the blood dripped onto the patterns drawn on the ground, he intoned. "Fill, fill, fill, fill. As each is filled, let it be destroyed."

The blood of Christ poured from the Grail, and filled the Earth. The Earthly vessels are filled, and shattered. Was that what he desired?

"Let silver and steel be the essence."

For thirty pieces of silver, the Son of God was betrayed to his enemies. He died not to the cold steel that pierced his side, but was left to rot in the presence of carrion birds. With this sacrifice, with this pain, he atoned for all our sins. So, why do my own sins weigh heavy?

"Upon it rests the cornerstone, and the Archduke of Contracts."

The stone that the builders rejected is become the cornerstone. He yearned for a concrete bond to his Savior, like the Command Seals manifest on the hands of Masters bound to Servants. For he felt that he was in danger of rejecting the Son of God as the Pharisees did, and severing his link to the Source of Life.

"Become the wall that repels the gale."

Can I achieve this? Can I, with my frail flesh, withstand the winds of change in this time? They threaten to sweep me away in their grasp, and I worry for my soul.

"The four gates close tightly."

Have my sins caused the gates of Heaven to close before me, barring entry?

"Burst forth from the Crown, and follow the winding road to the Kingdom."

I wish to fulfill the Kingdom of God on this Earth. If I did that, could I establish His Kingdom in my heart?

"I call to thee."

O God,

"My body, formed by thy will."

If only it were so.

"Thy sword,"

On the day of thy Judgment,

"Enforcing my fate."

Please spare my soul.

"An thou bend,"

If thy Grace,

"To my will and my justice,"

Takes note of my longing for you,

"Heed the Grail's call,"

Give ear to my prayer,

"And answer me."

And save me.

"I swear before thee."

Let a new Covenant be formed between us, Lord.

"I shall become all that is good in this world,"

I shall cultivate the virtues in my heart,

"And I will destroy all that is evil."

And I shall cut the vices off at the root.

"Seven Heavens,"

You created the world in seven days, but how long did you spend creating me? You rested on the seventh; is that it? Man was born on the sixth, and ate of the fruit before he could enter the Seventh Heaven.

"Clad in the Three Holy Souls,"

O Father, O Son, O Holy Spirit; dwell within me and I shall be as a sanctuary to you.

"Cast aside your shackles, and come forth,"

Release the bonds that tie me, and let me glow with your blessing.

"Guardian of the Scales."

I shall erase my doubts, and carry out thy will on Earth, Jesu Sancte.

As the blood in the cup was exhausted, its final drops irrigating the lines drawn on the floor, Kirei closed his eyes to the glowing that was emitted by the charged magic circle. One hand holding the cup, he crossed himself with the other, and whispered.

"Kyrie Eleison."

XXX

A form emerged from the cloudy chaos that covered the summoning circle. Clad in blue vestments, Kirei's Servant projected an aura of efficiency. Her Noble Phantasm was not visible, but he knew it was there.

He was pleased at the success of the ritual. Acquiring the particular set of Black Keys he had required had not been difficult at all; his father's connections within the Church had made that trivial.

"I ask you," the Servant said. "Are you my Master?"

"I am, Assassin," Kirei replied.

"Excellent." She walked to where he stood, and extended her hand. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Master."

This was a welcome surprise. Clearly, his Servant was not the type to feel burdened by her loyalty to a Master; it inspired him to see her embrace the situation as she did. He took her hand in his own, and shook. "The pleasure is mine, Servant."

The handshake complete, she returned her hands to her sides. "I trust you seek the Grail, as I do?"

"Of course," Kirei said. "Why else would I have summoned you?"

"Masters are fickle creatures," she said. "One never knows exactly why they have contracted your services, only that they have."

"I see," Kirei said. "You have nothing to worry about. I shall honor our pact; I would consider it an affront to Him in whose Name this Grail is dedicated to violate it."

The Servant looked about herself. She saw Bibles on the shelves, a crucifix above the door, and a gold cross on her Master's neck. "I see you are a member of the clergy."

"You might say that," Kirei said. "Or you might not. My own position in the Church is not terribly removed from yours, in fact."

For whatever reason, Kirei was rather enjoying this conversation.

"Oh? You mean," she stepped a few paces back, and steel blades with red hilts appeared between her fingers. "You share these swords with me?"

"Indeed I do," Kirei said. He brought his own Black Keys out. They very resembled the Servant's, if somewhat longer, to fit his larger stature. "As the Son of God said, think not that I have come to bring peace, but the sword."

The Servant bit her lip. She retracted her Keys, and Kirei did the same. "Are there many vampires remaining in this era, that the Church considers the Burial Agency necessary still?"

Kirei chuckled. "Oh, they certainly are a nuisance; however, I am not of the Burial Agency. My own employment is in the Assembly of the Eighth Sacrament. Our job isn't quite as... exciting, sad to say."

The Servant was silent.

Kirei continued. "I can assure you, all our foes will be ordinary humans. I'm well aware of your past life, and I do apologize for not providing you with heretics like the Serpent of Akasha to eliminate. Still, I trust you will find opportunities to put your skills to use."

"You've no need to apologize, Master," the Servant said. "I should be quite glad if I never have to see another of that accursed race again, even after my death."

Kirei smiled. "I can imagine. The one must have been enough, was it not?"

She glared at him.

"Wreaking havoc on a village, cannibalizing innocents... and invading the soul of a young girl, who had just begun to taste the flower of life. Truly, a despicable abomination unto the Lord," Kirei said.

Her eyes burned with rage.

"Wouldn't you agree, Elesia?"

"I serve you," she said, "And I hold our pledge divine. Thus, I shall not contravene it, no matter what personal feelings may arise toward you. I must ask, though, why do you remind me of these things, Master? Do you not know how it hurts me, to think of that time?"

"I merely wished to steel you for the coming battles," Kirei said. "The trials we shall have to face dwarf what you have seen and done. I chose you as a Servant not only for your combat prowess, but for my admiration of your life. Few have managed to contain evil within them as you, and weather the torture necessary to eliminate it. For that, you have earned my respect, and I hope to learn something of your strength before we inevitably part at the end of this War."

She felt an aura of evil from him, but perhaps that was why he sought her? Perhaps, he too felt the burden of evil in his heart, and wanted to excise it? If so, she supposed she would have to hold back her condemnation of his character, for the moment; though she burned with anger, the memories of her adolescence only tearing at her heart like the dirty claws of a bird of prey.

"Understood, Master," she said. "However, I respectfully request that you not bring that time up again."

"Granted."

"Thank you. In addition, the name 'Elesia' carries with it no small measure of pain. Might I ask that you refer to me otherwise?"

"However you wish to be called, I am more than happy to comply," Kirei said.

"Call me 'Ciel.'"

"Of course," Kirei said. "I look forward to the fruits of our labors, Ciel."

Ciel wondered what the future had in store for her. Her Master seemed equal parts kind and cruel, sincere and manipulative. His faith seemed genuine, at least. Ciel had never been strong of faith, having been prized by the Church for very different reasons than the purity of her soul. She had no love for clergy, either.

The Church and its trappings in this room made her feel uncomfortable, even after ascending to the Throne of Heroes. Death was nothing new to her, and she envied this man his life. As a representative of that hated organization, her Master promised to be a thorn in her side for as long as she fought in this false War.

However, there was at least one certainty in this whole affair. Her Master was wrong.

There was no way the Holy Grail War could compare to the suffering she endured at the hands of those priests and nuns, experimenting on her unwilling flesh, trying to push her beyond the veil of death. Every time her body's time reversed itself, and brought her back screaming to this mortal world, her heart hardened. By the time they gave up and allowed her to join the Burial Agency to hunt the vampire who had defiled her body with his immortality, her heart was steel. Harder and colder than the Black Keys she carried, it was entirely impervious to pain, and pleasure. Those stone walls she erected were melted only once, but never again.

These walls would grant Ciel the ability to resist any blow, physical or emotional, and win the Grail for herself and her wish.

She bowed.

"Consider the Grail yours, Master."

Evening, folks. So far, we've got... Caster, Lancer, Berserker, and Assassin. Still have three more, so let's see what happens with those.

Unlike my typical way of writing (namely, not doing it except when I occasionally feel like it), I actually finished writing this a few days ago, and have already started the next chapter. Wanted to let this one sit for a bit, before I give it a final look-over and publish. It remains to be seen whether this was a good idea or not.

I just finished Carl Jung's Liber Novus (also called The Red Book), which is a fantastic bit of weirdness. This is the prime inspiration for Kirei's monologue at the beginning... as well as his thoughts during the Summoning itself, I suppose.

Don't really have much else to say, frankly, except that I've started Fate/Apocrypha. I absolutely love Mordred, and wouldn't particularly mind if they cut most of the rest of the cast and focused on her and her Master. Yes, it may not be the most well-written or coherent iteration of the Fate franchise; in fact, sometimes it feels like a fun fanfic. But isn't that what I aspire to? Only makes sense to pay attention to a work that did it far better than I could dream of doing it.

Hope you liked it, and see y'all next time!