Hellsing: Witch Hunter 1616
Sapphirewyren
Chapter 7: Why Can't We Just Get Along?
Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing
Sam, Seras and Walter stood in front of Integra's desk as she read the report. Apparently, there was a witch that dwelt in a lake near a spot popular for picnics. The denizen of evil would use her long tentacles and drag people into the water, drowning and devouring them.
"It shouldn't take all three of us to kill one weak octopus" said Sam.
"That is not what His Majesty thinks" replied Integra dryly.
"There's probably a whole ton of ghastly monsters running around, why not one of us handle the ugly little mermaid and the other two deal with two other uglies? "
Seras nodded her head in agreement.
"And what is to be written in the report?"
"Report? Oh, write that we all kicked the witch's ass."
"So, you want to lie to the king."
"What he doesn't know can't hurt him."
"I'll take that as a 'yes'. I, however am against lying to the King."
"It's not lying…it's telling him what he wants to know."
"That's lying and I will NOT lie to the King. Now get whatever equipment you deem necessary for this hunt and meet me at the front gate."
"Wait a second, you don't…." Sam didn't get to finish as Walter was ushering them out of the office. "Arrrgh! She's so damn infuriating, yet so damn hot!"
"I think she's just bossy" said Seras. "Hopefully we will be able to go on hunts by ourselves soon."
Back in the office, Integra sighed; "I should probably should have them to write their wills." This remark received a raised eyebrow by the butler; "Clearly they are not weak or…"
"It's not their fighting ability, personality wise, we are just too incompatible, if it continues, one or all of us are going to get killed."
"Hmmm, I'm sure when they see the seriousness of their duty, they will decide if revenge is really the path they want to continue on."
As Integra strapped on her sword and gun belts, she scoffed; "There will be a witch on the bloody throne of England before they give up on the silly notion of revenge."
"Perhaps you should try and see things from their point of view."
"I wear glasses, Walter, the gift of sight would be a blessing."
At the front gate, Integra waited as the other two Hunters finally showed up, she was on her third cigar. "You two are really testing my patience, you know that, right?"
Baskerville snorted and shook a belligerent head as if to agree with his rider.
Sera's eyes narrowed; "We weren't doing it on purpose, Your Highness!"
"It's hard to decide if we're going to stab her, shoot her or slice her up" said Sam icily.
"She's a fish, you fry her" said Integra simply.
"You make it sound so easy. It's not like she's just going to sit there and let us fry her" retorted Sam.
When the three huntresses arrived at the lake, it was eerily quiet. There was the sound of quiet rustling of leaves and the reflection of the moon on the water from the cloudless sky was the only light.
"I wonder how we get the witch to come out" pondered Seras.
"We could throw Integra in and see what happens. Bitches attract witches" stated Sam.
"Very funny. I'm surprised you didn't suggest skinny dipping, seeing you're the type to take off your clothes for anyone."
"My vote still goes for throwing you in and I'm sure Seras agrees, right Seras?" Sam looked over to see that Seras was no longer on her horse. Both Hunters turned in time to see a tentacle retreating into the water with the blonde huntress grasped tightly in it.
"Great, grab the weakest one first" Integra ground out.
"I was thinking, you were the weakest ….ooof!" A punch to the gut.
"Let's go and save your little friend." The two women unsheathed their swords and jumped into the lake. The first thing Seras noticed when she was pulled in to the water was how cold it was despite the warm temperature. At the bottom of the lake, Seras struggled to unsheathe her sword, when that didn't work, she hacked at the tentacles with a hunting knife. She was glad to see two figures swimming towards her with swords and dismayed to see a second tentacle smack one of them like a fly. Sam slashed the tentacle imprisoning her friend and was nearly pommeled by another tentacle. Sam and Seras resurfaced, gasping for precious oxygen.
"Where's Sir Bossy pants?" asked Sam. Her question was answered by the lake witch, surfacing with the woman in her grasp.
"You three fools cannot hope to defeat me!" She then blew a stream of bubbles at Sam and Seras, these floating orbs then exploded on impact. "Now give up or I will snap this one's…." The lake witch screamed in pain as Integra shoved a silver blade in her abdomen. The witch plucked out the blade and with it owner hurled it onto the shore. She turned her attention to the other two again and lashed out at them with her tentacles. Sam and Seras slashed at an endless number of regenerating tentacles. It was hard to cut at the tentacles while threading water. As they were wondering how many feelers one witch could have, she began to cackle madly; "I will turn you into a stew!" Seras and Sam looked at one another, had this scaly broad gone mad? They were then suddenly dragged out of the water roughly by Integra who yelled; "Were you idiots waiting to get boiled alive?" the lake's water began to bubble. The water creature was not finished yet, she began to throw molten hot water spikes at the huntresses, sending them scampering for cover. Seras used Harkonnen's ability to send large fire balls at the aquatic foe, but she either dodged them or raised a large water barrier which deflected them. Sam remembering what Integra said earlier about frying the witch waited until the creature was busy dodging fireballs and silver crossbow bolts, then placing the blade of her katana in the water, lit up the lake with an enormous amount of electricity, which indeed did fry the witch. Integra smiled smugly; "Told you, you fry her." When the carcass of the witch floated to shore, Alucard drained her of her blood and the husk was then burned.
As she wrung out her hair, Sam said; "That would have gone a lot more smoothly if it weren't for you, Sir Hellsing, so I blame you."
"I blame myself as well" remarked Integra. Sam looked stunned, she was sure that Integra would say something snarky.
"You're not…."
"Let's agree on this one thing, we may hate each other, but let's at least work together while on hunts, if not for ourselves that at least for the country. I refuse to let anything happen to this country because of childish bickering. Not only is it immature, it is extremely selfish, the people of England deserve much better than this and I'll be damned if I give them anything less!" Before the other two Hunters could respond, Integra had mounted her horse and was gone. They both stared into the flames for a few minutes before Sam said; "Even when she is right, she's a bitch."
"But she is right" said Seras softly. "If we keep going like this we could end up messing up big. And what if she writes this in her report? Maybe that's why the King wanted us all to hunt this witch, to see if we can work together."
"Great, we'll probably be disbanded or fired and I can't get fired. I like the money. It won't matter to Hellsing, she already has money."
And being fired meant that any privileges that the Hunters had would be revoked and the chance for revenge would be slimmer. Seras had wanted all three of them to get along, but it was hard to befriend someone who's only thought was doing their duty to their country and who thought your goals were idiotic. Integra didn't understand what it was like to watch your parents being brutalized and raped and be helpless, unable to do anything. As Sam and Seras made their way back to the estate, Sam had suggested that they be able to see the report that Integra wrote- after a bath of course. When the assassin questioned Philip, he said; "A courier will come in the morning to receive any outgoing mail. Any mail going to His Majesty will of course go through more channel for security purposes. But before that, you will have to ask Sir Hellsing to see the report." This was not the answer they had been looking for. They asked Walter as well and received the same answer, however the butler led them to the sitting room where Integra reclined on the couch, smoking a cigar.
"We want to see the report you're going to send to the king" demanded Sam.
"Please, Sir Integra." Seras added quickly.
"Whatever for? You were there, you know what happened. Do you want to check my spelling or grammar?"
"We are also involved, so we should, you know, uuummm clarify things" said Seras.
Integra looked at Seras and then at Sam and back to Seras again, who was now looking uncomfortable under the scrutinizing gaze. "Ah, I see now, you want to make sure I made you look good in my report, is that it?"
"No, I want to see it you wrote anything that could get us fired or disbanded" argued Sam. "I need the money."
"I wrote the truth, if it gets us 'fired or disbanded' so be it. And it's not like being fired is going to stop you from seeking your petty revenge nor will that stop me from protecting England from any satanic beings."
"So, can we see it?"
Integra pointed to a nearby table, on it was a large leather envelope. Sam practically tore it open and flipped through the pages, while Seras read over her shoulder. After several minutes of silent reading and page turning. Sam returned the report to its envelope; "Well it was nice knowing you, Sir Hellsing."
"If I say 'likewise', I would be lying."
"Maybe His Majesty won't see it that way…." said Seras softly.
"That report was scathing about all of us, including herself. Like some damn martyr."
"I said I would not lie to the King."
As Seras packed her bag, she thought about the one day, the three huntresses spent together. One day! This must be a record, Sera was sure her father had gotten along well enough with his fellow hunters to spend more than one day together. But as Integra said, they were too incompatible and after seeing that report, the King wouldn't want them to be his Hunters if they couldn't even stand the sight of each other. It was more a 1 verses 2 fight and surprisingly Integra was winning. She really didn't lose anything. Unbeknownst to Sam and the Hellsing heiress, Seras had questioned some of the staff about Hellsing's finances. The Hellsings had some very successful ventures and businesses in weaponry, with their own lines of weapons, airships, steamships and armor. (Think Remington, Delta Airlines, Underarmor and Carnival Cruise Lines). They also had their own mercenary and security firm; the Hellsing Hell Raisers. So, the Hellsings had money spilling out of their ears or her ears seeing as there was only one Hellsing. This did not include the stipend that she received for being a Hunter. Sam would not be happy to hear this, so Seras decided she wouldn't say anything.
Before the sun rose the next morning, Sam and Seras rode out through the gates of the Hellsing Estate without looking back. Schrodinger watched them sadly: "I'm going to miss Kitten, she was so nice."
"Good riddance" snorted Integra. Protecting England came first and foremost, babysitting was not in the job description. As for Sam and Seras, they would still seek revenge, it would take longer.
Chapter End
Author's Notes: What!? Disbanded only after one hunt? That's too soon! Yeah, that's not the end, I promise. It's not going to be all roses and daisies for the Hunters. 2 on 1 may seem a bit unfair, but Integra is boss enough to take on those odds. Integra's duty to her country comes first and for Sam and Seras, they would rather stick it to the Whitehalls, so of course due to differing beliefs, there is bound to be some tension. Speaking of the Whitehalls, their history is coming up, so that sounds like fun and King Albrecht's reaction to the report. Will he disband the King's Hunters? Who are the Whitehalls? Why are they jealous of the Hunter families? Do you think the Hellsings would hire me? All this will be answered in the upcoming chapters. See you in the next chapter!