'Healing the Moon'
RenjixByakuya
Chapter 8: Favors & Freak-outs
Warning: Byakuya is gonna get 'triggered' and freak out.
x
Previously, on 'Healing the Moon':
((Byakuya felt a mischievous smile crossing his face- Renji didn't know the meeting had been canceled...
What little work remained was quickly taken care of, and Byakuya set off.))
x
Renji surveyed his handiwork and preparations with pride. He'd been working like a madman, and now his quarters were practically spotless, supper was ready to be cooked, and he had a nifty plan for tonight's sleeping arrangements.
He headed for the shower, ready to get clean and wait for his guest. As he stripped and stepped under the warm spray, he thought about the beauty and power that his moon possessed. These he had always known, and he had often suspected there was something deeper under the noble's coldness. But what he had never imagined before yesterday was the trauma or the vulnerable, almost fragile side his superior had been hiding.
It made him want the Kuchiki heir even more; that surprising fragility inflamed his protectiveness and his desire. He longed for any chance to prove to Byakuya that sex didn't have to be painful or degrading, or something to be frightened of. He knew from experience that this was probably exactly how the abused ravenette saw it, even if it was only subconsciously.
Renji knew he had to be careful, but that was fine. He'd much rather be careful than risk any harm to the man he loved. He would be patient, and he wouldn't make his traumatized partner feel rushed or guilted into doing something he wasn't ready for. Anything but that! In fact...
Renji glanced down at his body, which was hard and throbbing. Bracing one hand against the shower wall, he moved the other to turn the water to a slightly cooler setting. Then he lowered that hand to his aching length, slowly stroking himself as some of his favorite images of his gorgeous, lethal captain filled his mind, along with some lovely recent images.
His purpose was clear; he needed to take care of this now so that when his guest arrived, maybe he'd be able to focus on spending time with him instead of how much he wanted to do other stuff with him. Hopefully.
Renji was so busy concentrating on relieving the demanding pressure that he never heard the knock at his front door.
~X~X~X~X~
Byakuya paused after knocking on his lieutenant's front door. There was no answer, and he could faintly hear the sound of running water. Of course Renji wasn't ready to answer the door; the crimsonette thought he was at the meeting and had no idea he'd be here so soon.
Well, he certainly didn't want to just stand here waiting! Carefully, he laid his hand on the doorknob and turned it. It wasn't locked, and he slipped into his subordinate's home. He could definitely hear the shower running now as he locked the front door and set down the overnight bag he'd urgently packed when he stopped at the manor. His first thought was to wait out in the living room and surprise his host- Renji would surely be excited to get out of the shower and see that he was already here.
As Byakuya was getting comfortable, though, he heard another sound from the direction of the bathroom. A soft, breathy moan, almost eclipsed by the sound of running water. Byakuya raised his eyebrows as he got up and crept to the bathroom door. Another soft moan drifted out, followed by a slight whimper. He felt his body tighten at the sounds as his heart pounded. Holding his breath, Byakuya eased the door open a few inches and peeked in.
Through the blurry glass of the shower door, he could see Renji... and what he was doing. The sight stirred his blood, and he bit back a moan as he adjusted his hardening member. Until quite recently, he had never really considered himself as attracted to other guys, but it seemed Renji was changing his mind about a lot of things.
Even distorted by the textured glass, the younger man was a beautiful sight. A whimpered moan filled the bathroom. "Ahh, Byakuya. Oh, gods, baby."
Byakuya was ridiculously pleased that Renji was thinking about him, and he could feel everything in him pulling towards his redheaded partner who, judging by a frustrated-sounding groan, was close, but having a little trouble reaching his peak.
Silently, he slipped out of his clothes and accessories, abandoning them in a pile on the floor of the hallway. Hard as a rock and naked as the day he was born, Byakuya quietly slipped into the bathroom and shut the door.
~X~X~X~X~
Renji leaned his forehead against the cool tile wall, whimpering in pain and frustration. Soooo fuckin' close! His body was excruciatingly tight, and he was ready to blow, but his release stayed just out of reach. Damn! Whenever his partner got here, he did not wanna be a freakin' walking hard-on!
Just then, a noise caught his attention. He raised his head towards the sound, meeting a pair of dark amethyst-chrome eyes at the shower door. "By-Byakuya? Wha... I... "
A small smile saved him from his stammering as the noble stepped into the shower, naked and so beautiful Renji could've cried. The ravenette spoke softly. "The meeting was postponed for the weekly meeting tomorrow. What are you up to in here, Renji?"
Renji hesitated, biting his lip as he glanced down at the position he'd been caught in, hand still wrapped around his cock, which seemed very happy that their guest had arrived early. Keeping his eyes down, he whispered, "I was trying to take care of this before you got here so I wouldn't be so distracted, and I didn't want you to feel pressured into anything."
Renji was surprised to see a pale hand reach out to lay against his stomach, just over the top of his burgundy curls. His abs tightened reflexively at the light, but somehow authoritative touch, heart pounding so hard he barely heard a soft murmur. "So you are doing this, in part at least, for my benefit?"
Renji gave a shaky nod as he tried to remember how to breathe. He had no way of knowing the older man's intent, but unless the noble planned to turn on him, he had a feeling he wasn't gonna be complaining. A gasp escaped him as slender fingers threaded into the short hairs right above the base of his throbbing member, and his eyes shot to warm steel. The smaller Soul Reaper was gazing up at him with a look of satisfaction, a vaguely naughty expression on his fine features, and Renji's heart skipped a beat. "Tai-Taicho?"
Byakuya tilted his head, breathing, "It's ok, Renji. Would you like some help?"
Words failed him as he felt the lightest tug on his curls, then the slender fingers crept lower to brush against the base of his cock. He tried to answer his superior, but only an incoherent whimper came out as his legs started shaking.
His new partner smiled up at him. "I'll take that as a 'yes'. Why don't you sit down?"
Renji glanced behind him at the bench-seat he used when he needed to shower, but was too worn out to stand. He backed away until he was in front of the bench, watching his gorgeous moon follow to stand in front of him.
Renji hesitated, loving the confidence his captain was exhibiting, but unsure if this was something the abused ravenette should really be doing. The older man tilted his head as if reading his mind. "What is the point of being forced to learn something, if you can't one day use your experience to please someone you want to? I want to do this for you, Renji, and I know you want it, too, no matter how else you feel about me doing it. So sit down, my sweet, worrisome Renji, and stop overthinking this."
Caught off-guard by his guest's words, including the fact that Byakuya had called him his, a very stunned Renji did as he was told and sat down on the bench, watching as his beautiful, lethal superior sank to his knees before him.
~X~X~X~X~
Byakuya rested his knees on the cool tiled floor, feeling the water from the shower hitting his back. He watched the myriad of emotions playing across his lieutenant's face; the desire and need, the excitement and anticipation, the confused blend of grateful acceptance and concerned hesitance. He knew he'd been right in his assumption that Renji was worried because of his past, but he had told the truth when he said he wanted to do this.
He smiled reassuringly as he slid his hands up the muscled, tribal-marked thighs, which began to quiver as the crimsonette moaned softly. "By-Byakuya.. I.. gods, baby, I'm already really clo-close."
Byakuya smirked playfully at his subordinate who, in his surprise at the current events, was still holding his member. He tapped the hand wrapped around his target. "Would you deny your 'moon' the honor of pushing you from close to finished? Don't make me use riatsu against you, Lieutenant."
The bigger Soul Reaper shivered and finally moved his hand out of the way, whispering, "I like the way your riatsu feels when you're not really mad at me, Taicho."
Byakuya leaned close to brush his lips over the swollen length as he let a small amount of his energy fan out to surround him and his partner. He heard Renji start panting shakily, and he tilted his head to wrap his lips around the leaking cock just as he grasped the base of the shaft with one hand.
A loud, pleased moan rewarded his efforts as Renji started trembling. Byakuya began sucking and stroking the warm, hard flesh, lifting his eyes to watch the reactions of the redhead. Renji was gazing down at him with those deep auburn eyes, panting softly. The obvious pleasure on the strong features made Byakuya feel wonderful. That he was pleasing someone who cared about him, who loved him...
To his surprise, his body was responding, and enthusiastically. While he really had wanted to do this for his partner, he had not expected to stay aroused. Not only had he stayed aroused, he could feel himself becoming even more turned on as breathless moans began filling his ears. He sucked harder and gave a moan of his own, making Renji whimper at the vibrations.
Byakuya flicked his eyes to the side, faltering in his attention when he saw the younger man's hand lifting towards his head. His back stiffened before he could stop it, and the hand froze instantly. Byakuya was paralyzed, staring at the hand that he hoped to the gods was not intending to push his head down.
A pained whisper reached him through the rising rush of panic. "Oh, Byakuya... shit. Look at me, baby."
His eyes obediently darted up to meet reassuring deep amber, and the crimsonette spoke softly, still panting. "I wasn't gonna push down. That's not nice. Dis-disrespectful. Just wanna touch... hair, face... touch my beautiful, brave Byakuya. Not push."
Feeling the tension ease out of his shoulders, Byakuya kept his eyes on his lieutenant's as he resumed his ministrations, realizing neither of their arousals had diminished during his momentary freakout. He saw the surprise flutter over Renji's features as his subordinate whispered, "You ain't gotta... you... you can stop if you want, baby."
Comforted by the assurance that he could stop if he wanted to, Byakuya allowed the corners of his mouth to tilt up as he sucked harder, stroking the Rukon Dog with one hand and lowering the other to his own aching length.
He hummed into the hard shaft and inclined his head towards his partner's hand, still hovering a few inches from his face.
~X~X~X~X~
Renji couldn't decide if he was more shocked or delighted by Byakuya's obvious willingness to continue; he really had expected the abused noble to stop after freezing like that. And he would've completely understood and supported that decision.
But, ohhh gods, the ravenette had chosen to keep going, and it felt so incredible, and he would've bet anything that his partner was touching himself at the same time. That thought took his breath away, and he panted for air as every fiber of his being begged for release at the hands of the Kuchiki heir.
When his moon had frozen up, the concern that had filled Renji had completely derailed his focus, but Byakuya was doing a wonderful job of getting him back on track.
Through a haze of arousal, he saw Byakuya tilt his head towards his hand. With a whimper, he let his fingertips settle on a pale cheek, caressing soft skin and tenderly brushing back the rogue hairs that were trying to interfere with what the older man was doing. He was elated when Byakuya seemed to welcome his touch, leaning more into his attention and sucking him harder. Threading his fingers into silky black hair, Renji damn near growled in ecstasy.
His superior looked so sinfully gorgeous on his knees and sucking his cock for everything he was worth, and he could see that left arm moving...
Renji shifted, trying to see Byakuya touching himself without disturbing the lovely attention he was receiving. Curious platinum eyes caught his, and he murmured gently, "Wanna see. Please?" A light blush covered the pale cheeks as his partner shifted to expose himself.
Renji practically purred at the sight of his beautiful moon stroking himself in the same rhythm he was using to suck and stroke him. "That's so fuckin' sexy, Taicho." The older man's blush deepened drastically, and Renji hissed in pleasure when he felt teeth graze his shaft for a moment. "Ahh, fuck! I know that was probably meant as punishment for embarrassin' you, but shit, you did that perfectly, and it felt goooood! See, you didn't know- you got yourself someone who likes rough shit."
The amethyst eyes widened up at him, and he felt the teeth again, lightly brushing his flesh. Renji whimpered in pleasure, leaning his head back and trying not to thrust into the attention. Gods, Byakuya was good at this! All Renji had to do was not focus on exactly how his captain had become so skilled.
He watched through half-closed eyes as his partner sucked and stroked him harder, dark eyes looking up at him all the while. He felt the tingling tightness coil through his body, and he knew it was over for him.
He burrowed his fingers deeper into the thick black silk as he whimpered a warning. "Ahh, ahh, gonna cum! Oh, gods, Taicho!" He tried to stop his superior, only to be washed in reprimanding riatsu as the ravenette sucked even harder and began swallowing rhythmically.
Renji screamed in pleasure as his climax slammed into him, and he could feel the hot rush leaving him to shoot down his partner's throat. As his sounds of relief devolved into soft whimpers, he felt Byakuya drain him, then gently release his cock.
Renji managed to focus on the slender noble still kneeling in front of him. He registered the satisfied look in the violet-platinum eyes, and his superior smiled at him. "Enjoy the rest of your shower, Lieutenant."
Slowly, the smaller Soul Reaper stood, and Renji felt a grin crossing his face when he saw pearly strands on the pale, sculpted stomach. He was incredibly glad that the Kuchiki heir had been able to reach his own completion, even while sucking him with such finesse. This gave Renji even more hope for their future, especially in matters of intimacy.
He reached out and weakly caught a slender wrist, giving a light tug. Byakuya obediently leaned closer, and Renji kissed him thoroughly, tasting his own essence blended with the warm sweetness of the older man. As they slowly broke apart, he murmured, "Thank you, Taicho. That was... oh wow."
His partner blushed lightly. "You're welcome. Now, I'm rinsing off and going to go wait to be spoiled."
Renji chuckled. "You do that, baby. Take a look around if you want; we were too distracted yesterday for me to give you the 'tour'. I'll be out in a minute."
The noble nodded and turned away to rinse off, and that was when Renji saw the bruises on his moon's ass.
~X~X~X~X~
Byakuya was feeling proud of himself as he started to rinse off. He had brought pleasure to his partner, and even reached his own completion while doing so. And other than that moment of thinking that Renji might push his head down, he hadn't allowed his past to interfere.
Just then, he heard a gasp, and he glanced back to see those deep amber eyes fixed on his behind. Oh, gods, the bruises! "Renji?"
Devastated auburn eyes rose to his as the crimsonette whispered, "Did I do that to you?"
Byakuya shrugged, intending to explain his view on the matter. "It's alright-"
Before he could finish, the Rukon Dog was frowning at him. "The hell it is! That most certainly is not 'alright'; I shouldn't be leaving marks like that on you! I'm not supposed to hurt you!"
Byakuya could tell that Renji was quickly becoming upset with himself, and he squared his shoulders as he spoke firmly. "That's enough. First of all, I happen to bruise easily, always have. You did not harm me in any way. I actually liked the way you held my body as if you'd never let me go. If I had a problem with these bruises, rest assured that I would have said something this morning when I first noticed them. As long as they are not visible to others, I really don't give a damn what marks you leave on me, because I will know they only happened because you have so much passion for me that you lost control a little, and not from you trying to hurt me. Have I made myself clear?"
The redhead looked startled by his rant, and nodded slowly, whispering, "Yes, sir. I... I wouldn't hurt you."
Byakuya smiled. "I know you wouldn't, Renji. I believe that with every fiber of my being. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here." He moved close to give his lieutenant a sweet, lingering kiss that the younger man returned eagerly.
When they parted, Renji whispered, "You sure you're ok, baby?"
He nodded, smirking a little. "I promise I am fine. More than 'fine', actually. I am fantastic, and I wonder what other marks of passion you might leave on me if given the opportunity. I believe I am looking forward to receiving them, my fierce Renji."
The bigger Soul Reaper looked stunned, but only for a moment. Then, the Rukon Dog gave a slow, wickedly feral grin that bared his sharp canines. "If you really mean that, then maybe I'm lookin' forward to inflictin' them. I dunno if you really know what you've gotten yourself into, my naughty Byakuya."
Byakuya felt his cheeks warming as he shrugged. "You're probably right; I don't have a clue. But I trust you not to maliciously hurt me, and perhaps you would care to enlighten me sometime on what exactly I've 'gotten myself into'. Now, I'm going back out to the living room to wait for my 'tour'. Don't keep me waiting forever- your showers are ridiculously long."
He flicked his hair haughtily and turned away, stepping out of the shower. He heard a light chuckle behind him. "Hai, Taicho. I'll be out soon. I love you so fuckin' much."
Byakuya smiled over his shoulder. "Perhaps you are the one who doesn't know what they've gotten into." He grabbed a towel and slipped out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He gathered his things from the floor and went to the living room. He put his uniform and accessories into his overnight bag, exchanging them for a pair of lounging hakamas and one of his favorite yukatas; they were a matching set and one of his few personal extravagances- black silk with silver dragons and silver on the hems.
He got dressed, then brushed his hair and tied it in a high ponytail, then looked around a bit. He didn't want to explore his partner's quarters alone, but he judged the front room and kitchen as ok since he'd already been in both. He toured the kitchen first, impressed by the volume and variety of food, cookware, and utensils he found. It seemed as if Renji enjoyed cooking, especially stuff from the Living World.
Byakuya went back out to the living room, looking at what he'd missed yesterday between his exhaustion and numerous distractions. Besides the couch they'd slept on last night, there was another couch and a couple of recliners. Still hearing the shower, Byakuya found that all the furniture was quite comfortable. Then he spotted something that caught every bit of his attention.
A bookcase.
Byakuya found himself in front of it, his eyes roaming the literature stored on the floor-to-ceiling shelves. Books and scrolls and parchment and notebooks and stationary all occupied this entire corner of the room, and he could barely believe he hadn't notice this before.
Entranced, Byakuya reached out to run his fingers over the spines of the books he could reach. Serious ones, like 'History of the Soul Society' and 'Hollows: Fact vs Fiction' and less serious fiction books about romance, mythical creatures, dangerous quests, and heroes.
Byakuya was so enthralled by this literary discovery that he didn't hear the shower turn off. Looking over the bookcase like a kid in a candy store is how his partner found him.
~X~X~X~X~
Renji was humming softly to himself as he strolled out of the bathroom in his relaxing hakamas and yukata. As he reached the end of the hallway, he saw his captain in front of his bookcase. He paused, drinking in the sight.
Byakuya looked lovely with his hair tied back and wearing black and silver lounging clothes. The noble was lovingly caressing the books he could reach, occasionally pulling one out for a closer look, then carefully putting it back. Then he apparently found one he liked, as Renji saw the silvery eyes widen with interest.
The ravenette didn't even bother with a chair, just sat cross-legged on the floor with the book in his lap. Renji smiled blissfully as he watched his adorable partner nerding out. After a few minutes, during which Byakuya read several pages, Renji cleared his throat. "Ahem. Enjoying yourself, baby?" He grinned when the older man jumped and clutched the book to his chest, scrambling to get up as he tried to stammer out an explanation, which Renji waved away as he strolled over. "Don't worry 'bout it. It's totally cool that you seem to like my collection. Sorry I startled you."
The smaller Soul Reaper blushed. "I... when I'm reading, I phase out sometimes."
Renji smiled reassuringly. "That's ok, I do, too. If you want, you can keep reading while I fix supper."
He watched as his guest hesitated, then shook his head. "You are out of the shower, and I would rather spend time with you."
Renji smirked. "Best shower of my life."
Byakuya blushed, then lowered his eyes to the book he held. Realizing that his partner didn't want to lose his place, Renji huffed. "What, you think I have this many books and no bookmarks?" He grabbed a small box off of one of the higher shelves and opened it. One bookmark immediately caught his attention; one he had bought over a year ago and never used because he'd been waiting for the right book.
But this was even better- to give it to Byakuya, who just happened to be wearing a garment with dragons and had picked a book involving dragons. "Here, I want you to have this one." he said softly, handing over a detailed sapphire-blue dragon bookmark with a red silk ribbon trailing from its mouth.
Byakuya blinked in surprise as he tentatively accepted the gift. "Really? I can have this?"
Renji nodded and smiled playfully. "Yep, but you can only use it here. Deal?"
The noble shyly returned his smile. "Deal. Thank you, Renji."
He watched as Byakuya gently placed his gift in his page, then carefully placed the book in it's spot. It was so amazing to see new facets of the stoic shinigami, like his playfulness or his reverence for books, and Renji felt like he might just burst fom happiness.
He headed to the kitchen, hearing his superior padding after him. As he set up what he'd prepared earlier, Byakuya took his seat at the bar, watching him. "You really like to cook, Renji?"
He nodded as he checked on his occupied stove. "Yeah. Something else about me that was influenced by growing up Rukon."
The Kuchiki heir tilted his head, asking in a gentle tone, "How so?"
Renji shrugged as he prepared their meal. "Well, food ain't always in great supply, and sometimes you eat stuff raw cause you're too damn hungry to bother cooking it, or you ain't got a way to cook it. Might not even be real food, just whatever you can get your hands on. It's pretty shameful to know you've eaten out of the trash. So, when I entered the Academy and had access to good food and an actual kitchen, I learned pretty damn fast that I love preparing and cooking meals, making sure they're really delicious and at least somewhat nutritious. Also, it's not like the Rukon has an expansive menu, so I like variety, and I know how to make things from a bunch of different places in the Living World. But, for tonight, I thought a little more traditional."
With a flourish, he presented a bowl of fluffy, buttery rice covered in bite-size pieces of beef and meaty gravy. Byakuya smiled and accepted the bowl. "Thank you. This looks wonderful." Renji could tell that his companion wanted to say something comforting about his Rukon story, but not knowing what to say, had decided to just accept his words. And Renji was grateful for that.
He handed over a pair of chopsticks and got his own bowl, sitting across from his guest as they started eating. Between bites, they spoke of casual things like work and training and the ever-interesting World of the Living. When they were done, Renji took their dishes to the sink and made 2 cups of tea. "You stayin' the night?"
His guest nodded with a small frown. "Was that not clear?"
Renji shrugged and gave a charming, blush-inducing smile. "I figured you were, but it would've been awfully presumptuous to just assume you wanted to stay the night with me again."
The blushing noble lowered his eyes. "Well, like I said, my home is lo-lonely, and it has a lot of memories. I like it here, and when I'm with you, I... I feel good. I feel... alive."
Slowly, Renji stepped to the older man's side and gently wrapped his arms around the slender body. Byakuya's hands lifted to his chest as the ravenette sighed contentedly and relaxed into his embrace. Renji laid his cheek on the silky black hair, and he just held the one he loved for a while, breathing in that warm, sweet cherry-blossom scent that only belonged to his captain and blooming sakura trees.
After a while, he heard Byakuya mumble against his chest. "Thought you were going to give me a tour."
~X~X~X~X~
Byakuya heard and felt the soft laugh that vibrated the bigger Soul Reaper's body. "Aww, but I wanna keep holding you!"
He smiled as he tilted his head up to meet warm auburn eyes. "What if I promise you can hold me again later?"
The crimsonette kissed the tip of his nose. "You got yourself a deal, baby. C'mon." The younger man pulled away, but caught his hand, interlacing their fingers as he gestured with his free hand. "Living Room and Kitchen!" the redhead announced in a grand fashion, indicating the adjoining rooms.
Byakuya was filled with an urge to giggle. "I know these rooms, silly."
Renji grinned and tugged him towards the hallway. "Bathroom." he said as he tapped his finger on the first door. Then he indicated another door. "Washer, dryer, cleaning shit. Oh, and there's a back door off this room, but I never use it."
A little further, and the Rukon Dog stopped in front of the last door, clearing his throat. "And, um, my bedroom."
Byakuya noticed how abruptly uncertain his partner seemed, as if thinking he should've already ended the tour. He swallowed his own nervousness to whisper, "I'd like to see it."
His lieutenant reached out and opened the door. Byakuya took a small step forward, not realizing just how tightly he was holding his host's hand, or the way deep cinnamon eyes carefully watched him.
He glanced around the tidy, spacious room, noting the large, comfortable-looking bed with a filigree carved headboard. He felt his heart speed up, then he registered discomfort in his hand. He glanced down to see that he had a white-knuckled death grip on Renji's hand.
He looked up, meeting understanding honey eyes. The bigger Soul Reaper spoke gently. "I'm guessin' we ain't sleepin' in here anytime soon. It's alright, baby. I get it, ok?"
Byakuya gave a tiny nod, forcing himself to loosen his grip a bit as he looked back to the room. Ignoring the bed this time, he noticed a dresser with a huge mirror on top. The mirror had several shelves on either side, and each shelf held pictures. Suddenly curious, Byakuya started to step towards the dresser, then paused, glancing at his partner. Renji nodded, smirking at him. "S'alright, I ain't hiding nothing."
Byakuya wandered over to the dresser, looking at the pictures. Some were of the redhead with Rukia, some were of Renji with other friends. One of Renji when he was a child, and one of a very proud-looking Renji holding Zabimaru for the first time. Then one caught his attention. On a shelf by itself was a 3-part hinged frame. The left frame held a picture of Byakuya walking through his private garden, a peaceful look on his face. The right frame held a portrait photo of him and Rukia soon after the adoption.
The center frame showed a scene he remembered clearly. It was right after Renji had officially become his lieutenant, and the tall Rukon Dog was walking in the proper position behind him as they left the ceremony. The deep, coppery eyes were fixed on the back of his head, and Renji had a small, pleased smile on his face.
Byakuya saw his partner moving closer in the mirror, and turned to face him, ashamed that he'd been so oblivious. "I still can't believe I never noticed how you felt, and I... gods, I've always been so cold and mean to you! I don't understand how you could continue to care about me when I acted like-"
He cut off as Renji's hand came up to lay against his cheek, thumb brushing over his lips as the younger man smiled and spoke softly. " Cause, silly me, I always suspected that under all that coldness was a warm heart. No matter how much of a stuck-up bastard you acted like, I always felt that maybe you were just hiding something deeper to protect yourself. Sometimes, it sounded stupid and naive in my head when I thought that, but turns out I was right."
Byakuya's breath left him in a soft sigh as the warm hand on his cheek drifted down to the side of his neck, fingers tracing his ear and through his hair on the way down. Almost unconsciously, he tilted his head to arch his neck into the gentle touch as his eyes slid halfway closed. It felt so wonderful when his protective companion touched him, making him feel safe.
He saw the way Renji's dark auburn eyes watched him as the powerful body shifted closer. The hand on the side of his neck caressed the vulnerable area, fingertips gently kneading the muscles just below his hair while the thumb stroked his jaw. Slowly, the crimsonette tilted his head forward, and Byakuya fully expected a kiss.
Instead, the soft lips feathered over his forehead and pressed lovingly against his temples as Renji nuzzled into his tied-up hair. He could feel his ponytail coming loose, but he couldn't give less of a damn right now. Reveling in the tender, sensual attention, Byakuya felt his knees weakening, and found his ass resting on the edge of the dresser as Renji pressed even closer to him, slipping between his knees.
Byakuya wrapped his hands tightly around his lieutenant's muscular arms, and he tilted his head up with a soft whimper. Renji understood and met his wordless plea with a growl and a flurry of deep, passionate kisses that were only broken for shaky gulps of air.
Byakuya moaned when the younger man's mouth left his to explore his throat, that strong hand moving to gently wrap around the back of his neck. Trembling as the sensations he had just started learning about yesterday flooded him, Byakuya tilted his head back, submitting as if by instinct.
The warm, wet kisses spread over his offered throat, then moved up to suckle and lightly nibble his earlobe. He shivered at the new sensation, and warm breath washed over his ear in the sweetest laugh of delight. "That's it, my beautiful moon. You like that, baby?"
He nodded with a whimper, and his earlobe was nibbled again before that wonderful mouth trailed down to his shoulder, exposed by his silky yukata. A soft hum vibrated the delicate flesh just above his collarbone. "Hmmm, hey baby? You said that I could leave marks on you as long as nobody else can see them, right?"
Too breathless to answer, Byakuya nodded urgently, gripping those strong arms tighter in anticipation. The fragile skin was nipped playfully, then kissed soothingly as Renji murmured, "This spot is covered all the time in public, by your uniform and scarf."
Byakuya nodded again, and intense coppery eyes filled with amused curiosity met his. "Ain't ya gonna ask how I'm thinkin' bout marking you?"
Byakuya shook his head, managing to whisper, "Don't care. Trust you."
The bigger Soul Reaper gave him a slow, seductive smile before refocusing on the delicate skin covering his pulse just above his collarbone. A gentle kiss, a playful nip, then Byakuya felt his partner latch on, lips and teeth capturing his flesh and suckling. He shivered, the unusual new sensation sending tingles through his entire body.
He moaned into soft red hair as a gentle hand glided firmly up his spine, coaxing him to arch his back and press closer. "Ahh, Renji... mmm I... I..." Unable to find the words he needed, Byakuya whimpered softly and slid his hands up the strong arms, clasping broad shoulders to pull him and the redhead closer together, then slid his arms around the back of Renji's neck.
A rumbling moan vibrated his throat, and his fiery lieutenant bit and suckled harder, letting him feel those sharp fang-like canines. Byakuya's head dropped back as he gave a deep moan, pleasure sparkling through his blood.
Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of the bed, and everything in him came to a violently abrupt halt.
Were they headed there?
An inner voice born when he was 15 rang in his mind. Being taken hurt, made him bleed and wish he was brave enough to fight, made him pray for salvation or death.
His mind quickly filled with certainty that if he let Renji take him, it would hurt just as much and give the powerful warrior control over him.
'No!' Byakuya thought frantically as the already treasured memories of the last 2 days came to him. 'Renji wouldn't hurt me on purpose!' The frightened inner voice pointed out that in his current position, trapped on the dresser with the bigger Soul Reaper between his knees, if the Rukon Dog did not wish to stop, he could easily take what he wanted.
Locked in a panicking internal struggle of fear and confusion with a past he'd only recently started to face, Byakuya was frozen.
~X~X~X~X~
Renji knew the moment something went wrong, because several things happened within a heartbeat. Byakuya froze in his arms, fingers digging hard into his back. Riatsu filled with fear and confusion began flowing around the noble, and a heartbreaking whine was making itself known.
Alarmed, Renji lifted his head, only to see the ravenette staring at his bed like it was a nightmare come to life. "Byakuya?!" There was no response, and he quickly raised his hand to block the view of his bed, turning the older man's face towards himself.
The frightened violet-silver eyes seemed to stare right through him, and other than the now-constant whine, Byakuya didn't appear to be breathing. Trying to fight his own rising panic, Renji raised his voice in a desperate bid for his traumatized partner's attention. "Captain Kuchiki!"
The wide, dark eyes refocused on him, and with a shaky gasp, Byakuya resumed breathing as the fearful whine faded. The still-scared eyes darted around as though lost, and Renji kept his hand where it was, blocking sight of his bed as he began speaking softly. "Shh, shh baby. It's ok. Look at me, focus on me and my voice."
Obediently, the silvery eyes lifted to his, and he smiled reassuringly. "There you go, good. Easy now. I ain't gonna hurt you, and I hope some part of you knows that even now."
An almost imperceptible nod answered him, though there was still an unsettling amount of alarm and nervousness in the confused amethyst eyes. Relieved that the smaller Soul Reaper was at least back from whatever terrible place his mind had taken him, Renji continued speaking in a soft, calm tone. "You're ok, baby. I promise you're safe. Look, both of us still have all our clothes on. We were just making out, that's all. That don't mean we have to do anything else."
He saw the deep liquid-steel eyes flick nervously before meeting his again, and the noble spoke in a broken whisper. "But... you ex-expect things from me. Things that hu-hurt."
Horrified that, on some level, Byakuya might actually believe that, Renji shook his head. "No, no, shh. I don't expect anything from you, Byakuya, not a damn thing, and I'm sorry if I ever made you think that. Even stuff that's already happened, like... what you did for me in the shower? I don't just expect you to do that again unless you want to. I'd never, ever make you do something you're uncomfortable with, much less scared of. That definitely includes going all the way; that's not happening unless you decide on your own that you'd like to try. I ain't tryin' to rush you, baby. Hell, even if the only intimate stuff in our entire relationship consists of making out and maybe you letting me doing stuff for you like give you head, I'd still be happy as shit cause I'd have you in my life. I love you with all my heart, Byakuya, and not cause I think I can fuck you. Now, have I made myself clear, Taicho?"
A small nod answered him, and he was vastly relieved to notice how the chrome eyes and spiritual energy had calmed. "Good. You wanna leave this room? I'll make you some tea." Another tiny nod, and he backed up a step, coaxing the ravenette to slip off his dresser. As Byakuya's feet touched the floor, his legs started shaking.
Renji gently wrapped his free arm around the slender waist, keeping his other hand by his partner's face like a blinder on a horse to keep him from seeing the bed again. Holding the trusting silvery gaze, he guided them out of the bedroom, where, admittedly, he'd just had one of the best make-out sessions of his life, followed by one of the scariest moments of that same life.
Renji had seen rape victims fall into depression and madness, driven into insanity and near-comatose states by the trauma they'd endured. For a moment, a heart-stopping moment, he'd thought the man he loved had... he shook his head as he closed his bedroom door firmly, and escorted his quiet guest back down the hallway.
Byakuya was too strong to let his past drag him that far down, but still, that had been waaay too close.
They reached the couch in the front room, and the ravenette hadn't said a word since saying Renji expected things from him. Carefully, he sat the noble down and was about to go get some warm tea, only to be stopped by a hand touching his wrist.
He slowly sat at his guest's side, leaving a few inches between them. He ran his eyes over Byakuya worriedly, seeing that the disheveled captain was gazing at the floor. Uncomfortable with the silence and inaction, he whispered, "Hey, umm... I kinda messed up your hair. Want me to fix it?"
He received a slow nod, and he got a brush off the end-table. He gently slipped the tie out of the black, silky strands and began brushing. He took his time tenderly grooming his partner's midnight mane until there wasn't a hair out of place, then carefully retied the ponytail.
Renji shifted back to where he could see the older man's face, shocked to see tears brimming in the amethyst eyes. "Byakuya? Did I hurt you? I was trying to be careful-"
He cut off as the teary, shame-filled eyes lifted to his and his superior finally spoke. "I'm so sorry, Renji! I didn't mean to... I just... gods, do you have any idea how pathetic I feel right now? I'm so sorry... I feel like I led you on in there and I want so badly to tell you I'm ok and that you don't have to treat me as if... as if I'll literally break, but damned if that's not exactly how I feel right now, like I'm a deep breath away from falling apart! I just freaked out and ruined the mood, and I'm so sorry, and I have no idea how to convince you that I know you wouldn't hurt me, cause I really do know that, I swear!"
Instinctively trying to reassure the noble, Renji unconsciously let his spiritual energy fan out to surround them, full of his deepest, most caring and protective feelings for the smaller Soul Reaper. "Shh, it's alright. Don't apologize, baby; that was my fault. You didn't do anything wrong. I shouldn't have started that, not after how nervous you got when we first went in there."
Seeing that the older man was listening to him, he took a deep breath and continued. "And while you may know I wouldn't force you or hurt you, there is a part of you that thinks it's possible that I would. Anyone who's been through that shit has a... a sort of a little voice that pops up if they're in a situation that has any chance of resulting in them getting hurt again. Everyone reacts differently to that voice- yours apparently makes you freeze up till you're paralyzed, and that might be because he threatened to hurt you if you struggled. Mine... well, my inner voice made me aggressive and violent when I was trying to move on. If I thought I could get hurt again, my reaction was to fight. And just like yours, I couldn't stop it."
Renji saw Byakuya looking up at him with shy curosity, and he tilted his head as he asked gently, "Does it help to hear about me?"
The noble nodded hesitantly. "A little. Is... is that wrong of me?"
Renji shook his head, understanding the reason. "No, baby. That's not a bad thing. Hearing bout someone else reassures you that you're not alone. Besides, you told me what happened to you, and I've seen your reactions up close and personal, but I ain't really told you about me. I think one difference may lie in the fact that you'd never told anyone, while I have a few people- friends that know, and share, my story."
The older man looked confused, so Renji elaborated. "Just about anyone you know that grew up Rukon... there's a good chance they had at least one similar experience."
x
Poor Bya; he is doing well in general as far as moving on, but it's not that easy to escape a past like that. And yep, it's Renji's turn to share.