~In which a moment of impropriety becomes a running joke.~
I had another silly prompt chosen, but then a new one showed up yesterday and it was meant to beeeeeeee
boy howdy this one is an unsightly hodgepodge but that kinda fits the theme imo.
First, the prompt: Imagine person A getting their partners 'Thing 1' and 'Thing 2' shirts, specifically so they can make a 'sorry I'm late, I was doing Things' joke. As soon as I saw it I remembered an extremely self-indulgent chat-style textpost I dashed off on Tumblr a while back in the middle of the night, along with a tiny fic I wrote in the tags on my writeblog bc WHY NOT IT WAS ALREADY RIDICULOUS MIGHT AS WELL. If you care to go to jujywrites you can see it in its natural habitat :3
So here, then, is that textpost, the alt-tagfic, and an actual fic (a sort-of sequel) that came to me after staring at the prompt and daydreaming. I REGRET NOTHING
Tohru: I'm sorry I forgot about breakfast, Shigure-san! I had a lot of homework last night.
Kyo: *stumbles in behind her visibly rumpled*
Yuki: *bumps into Kyo, also rumpled*
Shigure: *sips his coffee*
Shigure: Since it's Saturday, I'm guessing you two were the extracurriculars.
(Alternatively)
Kyo: I was the homework. Yuki: I was extra credit.
Tohru: *tidying unnecessarily & blushing like a tomato but hiding a smile*
Shigure: did you kids use protection~?
K: SHUT UP
Y: YOU DAMN DOG
S: WTF U BROUGHT IT UP IM BEING A RESPONSIBLE ADULT
T very quietly: we were too. *leaves room w/ some excuse bc she is dying*
*but also giddyhappy*
#####
"This is for me? Kyo-kun, thank you." Tohru gazed down at the slim box on the table, forehead wrinkling in slight confusion. "But… oh, did I miss an important date?!"
Yuki's hand on her shoulder cut off her minor panic. (She didn't see him raise a questioning eyebrow at Kyo.)
"It's a 'happy summer' gift, I guess," Kyo said with a shrug. "Don't just stare it down, open it."
She set aside the top, pulled away some halfway folded tissue paper. Two T-shirts, one red and one blue. Pretty, solid colors, but they looked like they might be too big for her. She unfurled them, opened her mouth to say something–
and forgot to close it when she saw both shirts had writing on them. The blue, Thing 1; the red, Thing 2.
In the silence, Kyo began to grin.
"Oh, no. Kyo." Yuki sounded like he was holding back laughter. "Kyo, you didn't."
Tohru's whole face had gone pink. "You didn't," she said, high-pitched.
"As you can see…" Kyo spread his arms, grinning wider. "I did. And you get to pick which of us wears what."
She made a noise resembling a dying hyena, then, "Kyo-kun would look nice in blue."
Yuki hid his face in his arms on the table, shoulders shaking.
"B-B-But! I mean, you c-can't–!"
"It's not like we're gonna wear 'em when company's around." He picked up the blue T-shirt, held it up to himself. "Just, I dunno, loungewear? Or on dumb errands. To the beach. That sort of thing."
"Oh my god, she'll never go anywhere with us again." Voice already muffled, Yuki was laughing so hard he could barely get the words out.
"Now, see, you're assuming everyone else will get the joke. For all they know we're just fans of that Doctor Zoots guy or whatever."
"Doctor… Zoots…?" Tohru blinked.
"Never mind. Point is," he continued while he donned the T-shirt over his other one, "it'll still be our little secret." He made a quick circle. "What d'ya think? I could get used to the blue."
"Aaah, I don't know…!" Tohru put her face in her hands. "Yuki-kun, you look."
He did. "Mm-hm. Good choice, Tohru." He gave a thumbs up and failed to stifle a snort. "Guess I'd better try mine on."
Thusly attired, he went to stand by Kyo, slinging an arm around his shoulder. "Take a look," he said in his best coaxing tone. "Don't you want to see how we look in your gifts?"
Another short screech, but she eased her hands away. "I can't believe this…"
Kyo raised a finger. "That's what you get for showing me Tumblr."
A laugh burst out. "You're," she sputtered, "you're not arguing over who's the first t-thing?"
Kyo shrugged.
"Clearly, we are responsible adults," Yuki said solemnly, face flat.
"S-Stop–!" Tohru wheezed, clutching her side.
"You come into my house," Kyo intoned.
She bent over the table, squeaking.
"And here I thought she'd die of embarrassment." Yuki stepped over to pat her back.
Tohru bolted upright. "Okay! I'm," a gasp, "I'm f-fine, really, I…" She slumped against Yuki and kept on laughing.
"I'm gonna get you some water," Kyo said.
"I'm really! Fine!" She made a valiant effort to get her breath back. "You really don't have– hic– to hic." She blinked owlishly up at Yuki. "Oh hic dear…"
"Okay, you, come on," Yuki said, helping her stand. "Doctor Zoots' orders."
They intercepted Kyo by the kitchen sink, full glass in hand.
She drank it in one shot, then motioned for another. She held her breath until she couldn't, and even then they all waited for a rogue hiccup.
"Success," said Kyo, after a long enough silence greeted them.
"Thank you," she said with a sigh.
"So, uh, once you've fully recovered…" One side of his mouth turned up. "Maybe you'll have some things you want to do?"
Tohru threw a towel at him.