CHAPTER 8 - SUGAR

It took Amelia a while to figure out why Arizona and she worked. Why she felt so serene and at ease around the blonde when it was so much harder around others. One could say they had just clicked or some other terrible cliché like that and, while of course affinity had played a big part, Amelia knew it wasn't sufficient.

Arizona and her… their relationship was all about respect and time and truthfulness. They didn't expect anything out of each other, instead taking in the other as they were, scars and trauma and all because it was what had shaped them into who they were today. It didn't have to be pretty, it just had to honest.

Amelia never asked about Arizona's marriage or the plane crash just like the pediatric surgeon never asked her about her panic attacks or AA. She never asked about the leg like Arizona never asked about the drugs. They accepted that they would get the information when the other woman would be ready to talk about it, if they would ever be ready. Moreover, the pediatric surgeon always seemed to know what she needed, whether it was a bucket of ice cream, some time alone or simply a hug, Arizona always offered and respected her choice.

Amelia couldn't remember when being vulnerable and open around someone felt so good. Oh God. She liked the pediatric surgeon.

Fuck her.

April and Arizona were getting coffee at the cafeteria, chit-chatting as they waited for their beverages. Well, April was talking and Arizona was distracted. It was happening more and more lately. When the trauma surgeon noticed that the blonde had completely zoned out and looking at something behind her, she turned around and saw Amelia and Owen animatedly talking afar with their phones in their hands and goofing off. All things considered, April had spotted that Arizona's unusual sidetracked-behavior lately often coincided with the She-Sheperd being in the vicinity.

"Are you even listening to me?" the ginger snapped her fingers in front of Arizona's face and made an annoyed face.

"Sorry, I zoned out," Arizona had the decency to look apologetic at least.

"Yeah, I kinda got that part when you started pouring salt in your coffee," April said unimpressed with an eyebrow raised and a smirk.

Arizona looked at her hand and noticed that indeed yes, she had been pouring salt instead of sugar.

"Shit!" she stopped immediately and placed the salt back where it belonged onto the cart. "Well, here goes my first coffee of the morning I guess," she dumped it into the nearest bin, grumpy at herself for getting distracted.

"So, Amelia, uh?" the redhead said warmly with an encouraging smile as she looped her arm with Arizona's and started walking.

"Amelia what?"

"What's going on between you guys?"

"Nothing's going on."

"Oh, come on. You know you can tell me the truth, I can keep a secret."

Arizona was telling the truth. Nothing was truly going on in between her and her roommate. She just had a stupid little teenager crush on her, that was all. Nothing to gush over. The blonde knew if she told her best friend about it, April would never let it go. She would bring it up constnantly and Arizona would only feel worst because there was no way in a million years that she would ever stand a chance with Amelia. The brunette was way out of her league, too smart and too sensitive to be with someone as damaged as Arizona Robbins. No need for April to beguile her with false hope and sweet dreams that would never see the light of day. Plus, Arizona was almost certain the neurosurgeon liked Owen.

"No, really," she insisted, feeling a little guilty but knowing it was for the greater good.

"Then you should tell her how you feel, otherwise nothing's going to ever happen," the ginger said pointedly.

"I don't have feelings for Amelia," she sneered, as if the idea was utterly wrong and hoped her friend wouldn't catch her lie.

"Sure you don't," April sneered back. "Come on, she obviously likes you too. Even I can tell you that and I'm like, really bad at picking up gay vibes."

"That you are," Arizona chuckled, knowing how much her friend's gaydar sucked. "I can assure you she doesn't like me. She likes Hunt."

"WHAT?" April stopped dead on her tracks, her eyes almost popping out of their sockets.

"They've been hanging out more and more lately," she shrugged nonchalantly, as if it wasn't a big deal, as if it wasn't affecting her as much as it was. "He sleeps over sometimes."

"You and I hang out all the time and we sleep at each others' pretty often. Doesn't mean we like each other."

"Yeah, but it's different. I can see it in his eyes, you know? The way he looks at her. Like he just wants her to smile when she's happy and hug her when she's feeling sad."

"You mean, he looks at her the same way you do?" April said caringly, empathic of the pain her friend was obviously trying so hard to hide.

"Nice try, Kepner but you won't get me that easily. I told you, I don't have feelings for her."

"Okay, fine! You keep telling yourself that," her tone was exasperated. April would have understood if Arizona had just told the truth, that she liked Amelia and that she didn't wish to talk about it. She would have respected that. Instead, her best friend was lying through her teeth and the redhead hated that. "But don't come crying on my shoulder when eventually she runs into Owen's arms because you were taking too much time over thinking it," she said coldly before walking away.

"Dios mio! It's taking forever," Sofia whispered out tragically, her head falling backwards to look up at the ceiling with a roll of eyes and her arms falling to her sides.

She sighed loudly. Amelia and she had been waiting for the elevator to show up for a whole two minutes since she had pushed the up button and it was simply taking too long.

The brunette chuckled at the kiddo's impatient attitude and pressed the up button once more, even though she knew it was unnecessary. "You're the one who wanted to see your moms before going to daycare," she said pointedly, secretly pleased to have an excuse to see the blonde.

"Si, pero I didn't know it would take so much tiempo. We should have taken the stairs."

"Uh-uh," the neurosurgeon shook her head. "I'm not climbing up five floors. I'm not six anymore."

Sofia let her body fell against Amelia's legs, popping her chin up against her thighs and wrapping her arms around them. "Fiiiiiiiine," she whined as the adult pushed away a wild dark lock that had escaped her hairdo behind her ear.

When the elevator finally came with a ding, Sofia let out an excited huff and dragged them into it, eagerly pushing the right buttons in. Amelia felt her heart throbbed at the cheerful latina kid. Sofia was absolutely delightful and she loved being around her.

Being roommate with Arizona meant having Sofia over regularly and, where some people might be annoyed at the prospect of having a six years old around so often, Amelia was thrilled. That child was funny and smart and passionate and adorable and she just couldn't get enough of her.

They had their dynamic down now. When Arizona would be working and Amelia wouldn't, instead of just waiting around in daycare, the brunette would simply take her home and babysit her. She loved passing time with the Robbins Sloan Torres family.

After her baby's death, Amelia had never thought she would want to be a mom again. Motherhood was beautiful but it was also dreadfully painful. And she wasn't sure she would ever be ready or strong enough to experience that ever again. She was too scared a ache like the one she had had to go through would sent her straight back to drugs and alcohol and one night stands. Into a blackness that would swallow her whole.

She loved kids though. She knew she was a great auntie and she loved her nephew and nieces dearly. And the more time she passed with Sofia, the more she realized her maternal instincts were waking up. Which were terrifying because she didn't want to acknowledge them. She wasn't ready to deal with them again just yet. So instead of dealing with them, she buried them deeper and decided to avoid them until she was mentally stable enough and emotionally strong enough to ask herself the right questions.

Sofia's hand slipped into hers and she was pulled out of her thoughts. The neurosurgeon looked down and the little girl was quietly singing in Spanish as she swung their joined hands. Once onto the fifth floor, they quickly spotted Callie and Arizona talking at the nurses' station. The neurosurgeon was kind of glad that they wouldn't have to search more floors in order to find them.

"Mama! Mommy!" Sofia shrieked happily and ran towards them.

The orthopedic surgeon turned around and her face was immediately washed over with happiness at the sight of her daughter. She grabbed her running form into her arms and twirled her around, making her erupt in giggles. After a few spins, she slowed down to a stop and both mothers kissed their daughter's disgustingly cute face all over.

"I think someone is drowning into all this love. Can you breathe okay, munchkin?" Amelia asked playfully.

"Sorry bébé, my schedule has been loco this week and I barely got to see you at all. I missed you," Callie confessed. She kissed her forehead and took a deep breath of the god-awful artificial strawberry scented shampoo her daughter loved so much.

"It's alright mamà. Yo too."

That was the moment Arizona's eyes landed onto what she was wearing. "Don't you look overly casual this morning," she teased Sofia.

Callie took a new look at her and a wide smile spread on her lips at her daughter's choice of clothes.

Amelia made an apologetic face, a small blush covering her cheeks. "Yeah, I'm sorry. She wouldn't leave the house unless she was dressed like this. I proposed alternative pieces of clothing, but nothing would do."

"It's okay, Sheperd. We all lose the fight sometimes," Callie reassured her.

"You're definitely the cutest cowgirl into the wild wild west, sweetie. I bet your friends at daycare are going to be jealous," Arizona cued.

"Te gusta my braids? Amelia made them!"

"You better like them, they took me forever to make!"

"That I don't doubt. You suck at hairdos," the pediatric surgeon taunted and her roommate playfully pouted and gently elbowed her into the ribs.

"You look very pretty, bébé," Callie said.

"I'm not a bebé anymore, Mamà. I'm six and almost a half," Sofia said far too seriously and held up six fingers.

"Siempra seras mi bebé," Callie said lovingly and Sofia made an embarrassed face.

She wriggled around, signaling to her mom she wanted to go back on her feet.

She firmly took Amelia's hand back into hers. "We have to go to daycare now or we're gonna be tarde 'Melia. See you mommies!" she waved goodbye at her parents and pulled Amelia with her as she walked them with confidence towards daycare.

Amelia wasn't really a light sleeper per say. She wasn't exactly a heavy sleeper either but loud noises or bright shiny light would without a doubt wake her up. Over the years, she had become accustomed waking up to her sisters arguing, the natural sunlight, thunderstorms, and as she grew older her pager, and more recently Sofia's soft cries from a bad dream. What she wasn't used to wake up to though, were moans.

Loud, definitely female, sex-filled moans emanating from Arizona's bedroom.

At first, she thought she was imagining it, that it was just a figment of her imagination but as a "FUCK, DON'T STOP!" filled the silence of the night once more, it became clear that she unfortunately wasn't dreaming.

Everybody had the right to a sex life. Arizona was smart, funny, attractive and so much more, it really wasn't much of a surprise for the brunette to see female strangers come and go when it wasn't Arizona's week with Sofia. The blonde was kind of womanizer.

And Amelia had known the blonde had an active sex life before she moved in with her. She had seen Arizona in action, had watched her flirt, had seen her go home with different women, she had even gossiped with her about them. Not that she was judging or anything. God knew she herself had had her fair share of one night stands. Amelia couldn't care less about the number of women passing through their now shared house.

What she hadn't anticipated when she had said yes to moving in was how loud they sometimes would be. She figured her roommate must be a beast in the bedroom judging by all the groaning and cursing escaping from there. She really shouldn't complain because most of the time, the sex was happening when she was actually working and if she wasn't and Arizona still got lucky, the sound level was usually okay-ish. Not too loud to keep her up but just loud enough to remind Amelia that her sex life was nonexistent at the moment and that her infatuation with the blonde was very much one-sided.

Since she had arrived in Seattle, she had kind of left her sex life aside, playing it solo rather than duo. She had come here looking for a fresh start, make new memories away from her old haunting ones. She didn't feel quite ready to go back out there for just one night. She had done that too many times to know it would probably end badly. As depressing as it sounded, she actually wanted to focus on herself for a while. To learn who she was again, what she wanted and needed in her life now that the only two people she had ever fallen in love with were not by her sides anymore.

Except she kinda had an idea of what she wanted, of who she wanted. And she was right across the corridor, making women all over Seattle quite happy with her sex skills. God, being sober and dealing with feelings absolutely sucked. She could totally use something to take her mind off hers right now.

Anyway, moans were the exact reason Amelia found herself staring at the ceiling right now, laying onto her back at almost two AM. For a moment, she considered moaning just as loud, in hope they would get the memo and then tone it down to a more reasonable sound level. Or maybe, she should loudly get a glass of water. The sound she would make would certainly alert them that she was awake and that they should be less vocal. Except she was too cozy in her bed and she didn't want to get up. She tried burying her head further into her pillows, but except almost dying from hypercapnia, it did little to deal with the real problem happening.

Vadgelina, because yes, if she wanted to make it through the night, she had to at least give that poor woman a name, was probably close to her third orgasm judging by the sounds of it. But who knew how many Amelia had missed when she was still blissfully asleep? Third was a good sign though, right? Third must meant it was almost certainly over and she soon would be able to go back to sleep, right? She felt like three orgasms was a fair deal.

So when nothing was heard after, she was glad and let out a sigh of relief. Amelia got herself back comfortable under the sheets and laid back onto her side and just as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard it.

"OH GOD! PLEASE!"

What had she done to deserve this?

Amelia entered Arizona's bedroom without even knocking the very next morning and jumped right onto the available space onto the left side of bed. She landed with a huff and the pediatric surgeon grumpily groaned instantly.

"Hello Don Juan," the brunette greeted far too cheerfully and poked Arizona's shoulder.

Amelia knew her roommate had the day off today so the other woman had probably planned a late morning in to get some good deserve rest after yesterday's workday and late night activities. Amelia felt like she kind of deserved to be awakened at the same time as her though. The blonde had kept her up until three AM after all.

Arizona grunted and rolled away from the touch, pulling the sheets higher and higher over herself until she was almost covering her whole face.

"Go away. I'm off today Sheperd," she complained grumpily.

"Oh, I know," she smirked and poked at her shoulder once more just to be extra-annoying. She let herself fall onto her back next to the pediatric surgeon, "You, lesbians, are so," she stopped dramatically. "fucking," another pause, "loud."

"Sorry," the blonde said apologetically and even with the sheets half-covering her face, Amelia could see a smirk forming on her lips.

Honestly, her softly-aching thighs' muscles and her still above normal serotonin level made Amelia's wrath worth it. Hannah was probably the best sex she had had in a while and even her roommate's cranky attitude couldn't weaken her good mood.

"I swear, this woman felt closer to God last night than she ever will at church. Please, tell me you're not planning on seeing her again," she pleaded and when she received no response, she poked Arizona again. "You're not, right?"

"I think someone definitely hasn't gotten some in a long time," Arizona teased sleepily and Amelia gave her a cold stare in return. She giggled, "No more Hannah, got it."

"You guys kept me up until three in the morning," she dropped a kiss onto her forehead and got up to get to her breakfast. "Oh and Robbins? You might want to consider covering up that nasty hickey situation happening on your neck."

"Will do, thanks," the blonde replied sleepily and cuddled back under the warm sheets.

After only a few consults, the neurosurgeon knew she needed another coffee or else, she feared she might fall asleep standing up. Moreover, her almost constant yawning didn't really scream professional ready to operate for seven hours straight so she stopped by the coffee cart.

"You look tired," Derek said in lieu of greetings when he appeared next to her in line.

"I hope you're better at giving compliments than this otherwise your wife must be quite deprived," she said sarcastically.

"I had almost forgotten how cheerful you are in the morning."

"Sorry, I am tired," she said with a sigh and looked at Derek. "My roommate is having sex. Like lots of sex. With lots of different vocal women. And I'm happy for her because I know it was hard for Arizona to get back out there after Torres and the leg and the divorce and everything. But fuck, those women are so loud, Der. I could be standing right in the room and it would be the same sound level. I'm slowly slipping into sleep deprivation."

Derek chuckled at her misfortune and wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders, pulling her for a side hug. "You can always crash home every once in a while if you want to," he dropped a sweet kiss onto her forehead and she melted into him.

"I might take you up on that. And to say I used to think you guys were loud. Meredith sounds like a lullaby in comparison."

"Annnnnnd, it just turned gross and inappropriate. See you later sis'," Derek kissed her forehead one last time and walked away.

Barely was he gone that Owen appeared by her side. "Hello Amelia."

"Hi Owen," she greeted back a small smile.

"You alright?" he asked concerned. "You seem tired."

"Yes. I just had some… trouble sleeping. Arizona had a date."

Owen looked at her confused, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. "What does that has to with your sleepi- Oh. You mean, date! That kind of date. Okay."

The brunette could see the faint blush tainting his cheeks as uneasiness took over him at the intimate subject. It was funny to see such a big and confident man shifting into a shy boy in a matter of seconds. Amelia almost found it endearing.

"Yes, that kind. They kept me up until the wee hours of the morning so I'm a little off. Haven't stopped yawning since I woke up."

"Hi, what can I get for you two?" The cashier asked them with a warm smile.

"I'll have a double espresso please and he'll take…" she looked at the trauma surgeon with an eyebrow raised.

He was surprised by the offer but thankful nonetheless. "A medium black coffee please."

"Coming right up."

A few moments later, the cashier handed them their warm beverages and Amelia paid for them before Owen could even get his wallet out of his pocket.

"Thank you."

"It was nothing. You'll get the next one," Amelia shrugged and gave him a soft smile.

She missed the little glint of hope appearing into Owen's eyes at the mention of a next time. They started to walk slowly into the hospital, wandering towards the elevators.

"You know, you're more than welcome to come over if Arizona has a… a date. I wouldn't mind," he tried to act nonchalantly, hoping Amelia would get the message that really, he wouldn't mind having her over more period.

"And get attacked by a bear when I get out of your trailer?" she joked teasingly.

"I only saw one once and I think it was actually more scared of me than I was of it."

Amelia's eyes grew huge. "Dude, I was only joking! God, I can't believe you never told me. Do you know how many times I stayed over? I could have lost a limb. You're telling me you saw a fucking bear and you keep on leaving into this stupid trailer?!"

"I like it. I have unlimited access to the woods, I get to hear the crickets at night, there's no neighbor to annoy me," he listed happily.

"Then buy a house near a woody area, you weirdo," she replied and playfully it him into the ribcage with her elbow. "I would hate to hear you've got torn apart by a bear. Plus, you could have a real shower so I wouldn't have to scrunch down every time I come over."

He chuckled, nervous and amused at the same time. His heart skipped a beat at her words, every time I come over. So, Amelia did plan on keeping on coming over apparently. "I'll think about it. "

"Definitely near a woody area though. Crickets' lullabies and no neighbors are great."