CHAPTER 9 – THINKING 'BOUT YOU

"You do not," Amelia said sneering.

"Yes, I do."

"I don't believe you," she took one of Owen's hands into hers to inspect it closer, her look suspicious. "Your fingers are too… manly."

"What does that even mean?" Owen laughed on the stool next to her and pulled his hand back, sipping his beer. "I'm a surgeon, I'll have you know I have very nimble fingers, Dr Sheperd."

They had been sitting at Joe's for probably over an hour now. After their long shifts today, the trauma surgeon had suggested to her to grab a drink to unwind and the brunette had happily accepted. Amelia was currently nursing her first lemonade while Owen was onto his second beer.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so patronizing," she apologized. "It's just- you don't seem like the kind of guy who plays guitar."

"Why? Do I look more like a triangle kind of guy?" He teased playfully.

"Fuck off," she chuckled and gently elbowed him into the ribs. "I'm just having a hard time picturing you is all."

"Well, I'm certainly not the best player in town, but I would say I'm descent. Ask Robbins and Webber, we played a few songs together last Christmas Eve."

"Really?" she asked surprised, both eyebrows raising up.

"Yeah. You should have seen the kids. Singing along loudly, dancing hazardously all around the living room, giggling like crazies… It was a blast."

"How long have you been playing?"

"I taught myself when I was around fourteen, I think? It took me a long time to get it right though so my mother and my sister wouldn't stop making fun of me at first. Megan actually cut all my guitar's cords off one night in hope I'd stop."

"Dude, your sister was feisty," she smirked.

"She was, that's for sure," he chuckled.

The neurosurgeon turned onto her stool and her somber blue eyes met his. "Will you play for me? Next time I come over?"

Owen could feel the blush coming up to taint his cheeks so he quickly advertised his eyes onto his beverage, hoping the lighting wouldn't make his reaction too obvious.

"I-uh," the redhead cleared his throat to get rid of the hesitation in his tone and then said much more assuredly, "Yes. Sure."

The brunette was a little confused at the sudden change of demeanor and put a reassuring onto his right shoulder. "You alright?" she squeezed it in concern.

He took his gaze off his beer and swiveled to look at her, a sincere smile on his lips. "Of course."

When his lips softly landed against hers, his beard prickled her features and his breath tasted wrongly of alcohol. One of his hands delicately cupped her cheek. One minute they were bickering and kidding and the next, her best friend was kissing her out of nowhere, what was Amelia supposed to do? What was the protocol on this? She simply sat there, frozen in shock. Not moving, paralyzed by fear and astonishment, nor reciprocating Owen's advances, neither pushing him away.

Because it had been a long time since she had been kissed with such care and something akin to adoration. Recently, the (rare) kisses she had shared had all been urgent and rough so this tender altercation felt good. It made her feel appreciated for who she was as a person and not just her body. It was unfair, though. Owen may like her but she didn't like him back. Not the way he did apparently. She had a crush on someone else and by letting him kiss her, she felt like she was leading him on. Feeding him false hope that something was truly going on in between them. After a few moments, she finally got a hold of herself and put a hand on the trauma surgeon's chest, gently pushing him away.

"Owen, what's going on?" she frowned in confusion and her tone was non accusatory.

The redhead uncertainly looked at her and gave her a hesitant smile. "I-uh," he couldn't even finish his sentence.

Amelia's heart uneasily contorted itself in her chest. She knew this look. This hopeful, optimistic look that was on the redhead's features, the very one she was about to crush. The neurosurgeon felt extremely guilty about it, because she didn't want to. Owen was her friend and she didn't want to hurt him, but she couldn't bring herself to lie to him either.

"I'm sorry if I was giving you mixed signals. Look Owen, you're a great guy and I like you, just not the way you like me. I kind of have feelings for someone else. I'm sorry," she stated clearly and apologetically.

There it was. In an instant, hurt and disappointment took over his cheerfulness and Amelia wanted to take back her words.

"Oh, this is embarrassing," the trauma surgeon scratched the back of his head nervously, his eyes looking everywhere but at the neurosurgeon and he became fidgety. "You don't have to be sorry, I'm the one who jumped the big guns. I shouldn't have, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, you didn't know," she was about to take his hand for a comforting squeeze but it suddenly felt inappropriate so she settled for his shoulder instead. "You're a great kisser, if that's any consolation," she said in hope to elevate the heavy atmosphere now surrounding them.

Owen chuckled, still visibly embarrassed. "It weirdly is. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"So you have your eyes on someone, uh?"

Amelia could feel the blush coloring her cheeks."I-Yeah. But we don't have to talk about it."

"It's okay. I mean, we're still friends, right? Just because I like you doesn't mean we can't talk about stuff."

"Of course we're still friends. I just don't want it to be more painful or difficult than it has to be."

"Don't worry about it, I've been through worse. And seeing my friend happy makes me happy. I'm sure whoever he is, he'd be lucky to have you."

Amelia could feel her heartbeat rising significantly faster and her mind was running a mile a minute. He. He'd be lucky to have you. It felt so wrong to hear this, but she couldn't really blame Owen for something he didn't know. Her eyes glared at her glass for the longest time, debating if she should tell him that he had gotten it wrong. He was a she.

She wasn't ashamed of her bisexuality by any means, she just wasn't very experienced with the whole coming out thing. The only person who knew was Arizona and it had been rather easy since she was a lesbian. She wasn't sure how Owen would react. He was probably going to be fine with it, he didn't seem to have any particular problems with Arizona or Callie or any of their other LGBT colleagues that she knew of. But she still irrationally felt a little scared. Scared that he would change his behavior towards her mostly. She didn't want him to, she loved the friendship they had built.

Then again, Owen liked her so their friendship was already stained, what harm a bit more of honesty could do anyway?

"She," she mumbled, still staring at her drink. She didn't dare to look at him as the words left her mouth, too afraid.

"Uh?"

"She. She'd be lucky to have you," she repeated loud enough for him to hear this time.

"Oh. My bad, I didn't know you were swinging both ways," he shrugged and to his credit, he didn't seem fazed at all by this new piece of information. "I guess I should have known, you do wear a leather jacket and an awful lot of plaids," he joked.

Amelia couldn't help but laugh. Just by this little note of humor, she knew they were going to be okay. "Asshole. They're ugly stereotypes. How do you even know those things?"

"I think I heard Callie talk about it one day. Or was it Alex? I don't remember."

"I-uh, Derek doesn't know. Yet."

"Okay," he looked at her seriously. "Do you plan on telling him?"

"Hopefully. I want to figure things out between her and me first. And if it turns out to be something serious, which I hope it will, then yes."

"Well, I hope it does. You're great. And I say that objectively, not because I like you."

"Thank you Owen. You're a really great friend."

"You're not so bad yourself."

Amelia was surprised to see some of the lights still on when she arrived home but she was happy because it meant that Arizona was still up. She quickly hung her coat and discarded her shoes before knocking onto her roommate's door.

"Come in."

Arizona was in her bed, pajama's top on but pants off since she was in the middle of massaging her limb with what Amelia knew was a muscle relaxant. She guessed the blonde must have been standing up a lot today. The brunette crawled onto the bed, facing the pediatric surgeon and sat criss-cross, her eyes transfixed onto Arizona's fingers digging into her thigh's skin.

"You're back already?" the blonde asked. "I thought you were hanging out with Hunt?"

Arizona had expected her roommate to sleep over at his trailer and to have the house for herself tonight. She hadn't anticipated that the brunette might be coming back home. Not that she minded, on the contrary. Spending time with Amelia was way better than alone.

"You'll never guess what happened," Amelia said to her instead, completely disregarding Arizona's question.

"What happened?" the pediatric surgeon asked, a little confused by the urgency in her friend's tone.

"Owen kissed me! He kissed me! Crazy right?"

Arizona frowned. "What's with your face? Are you not happy about it?"

Over the last few months, she had watched them grow from acquaintances to colleagues to friend to eventually someone Amelia would confide into. While it hurt her to see them so close and to not be the person Amelia reached out every time, Arizona knew better than to be jealous over something she had no control over. Instead, she tried her best to be happy for her friend.

It was Amelia's turn to frown deeply. "What? No! Of course not!"

"Wait. I thought you liked him?"

"What? No, I don't! Not at all."

"You don't like him?" Arizona asked, her eyebrows still furrowed. She was taken aback by this new development but it only left her even more confused than before.

"As a friend!"

"But I saw the way you looked at him the other day when we were having lunch."

"Huh?" Amelia slightly titled her head to the side, trying to remember the moment the blonde was referring to.

"It was last Monday I think? I was eating with him and April and you kept glancing at him not so discreetly from your corner with Derek."

Amelia couldn't help but laugh. Like full on belly laugh. Arizona felt kind of left out because she was obviously missing something big. She racked her brain, trying to figure out what could be so funny, what she had missed, but came up empty handed so she waited for the other woman to calm down. After a few moments, the neurosurgeon finally wiped her tears with the back of her hands as her laughter subsided.

"That might be the funniest thing that you said to me all week and it's only Thursday. Oh my god, I can't believe it. You thought I was looking at him?" she asked, god smacked.

"Who did you kept glancing at then if it wasn't Owen?"

"You!" the brunette replied in a breathy chuckle as if it was obvious. "I was looking at you."

"Oh," then, Arizona realized what the brunette was implying and repeated, much more flagger blasted, "Oh."

A small anxious grin appeared on the neurosurgeon's lips. "I like looking at you. Like, a lot. In case you haven't noticed."

Arizona felt her cheeks grow hot and her heartbeat speed up, a big smile spread on her lips against her will and she bowed her head to hide it. Amelia had been looking at her all this time. Not Owen but her. Now that was a twist she had not seen coming.

"It's going terrible by the way. The looking at you thingy. Because every time I do, I always start wondering what it would be like to kiss you," her eyes glanced down to the blonde's lips before trailing back up to her eyes and half-whispered. "So I usually end up staring, thinking it over and over," Amelia bit in her bottom lip, her eyes flickering back and forth between Arizona's bright blue eyes and her inviting rosy lips.

The pediatric surgeon felt her throat go abruptly dry at the words and her every cell were tickling with desire and apprehension of what was about to come.

"May-,"Arizona's voice was hoarse so she cleared her throat, "maybe it's time you find out," her voice was croakier than she'd have liked, not quite smooth enough to hide her anticipation.

"Yeah, I think so too."

One of the brunette's hands flew to rest onto the blonde's cheek, her thumb caressing the skin back and forth as if it was the softest thing she had ever touched. She leaned in slowly, like she had all the time in the world, letting the pediatric surgeon plenty of time to stop it if she wanted to. Arizona followed her lead though, slowly leaning in – rushing felt wrong – closer and closer until their breath morphed into a single one.

When Amelia's lips met hers, Arizona couldn't help but let out a whimper of relief at the touch. It had been a while since she had been kissed like this. Lately, the kisses were rough, they were urgent and they were selfish. Arizona took what she wanted out of her one night stands and in return, she let the women take what they wanted from her.

Amelia wasn't kissing her like that. No, the brunette's kiss was slow and caring and gentle. It wasn't about taking or giving the other anything, it was about sharing their feelings. The pediatric surgeon felt her stomach knotting and her hand reached out for the neurosurgeon's neck to check that it was real, that she wasn't dreaming. Out of breath, Arizona pulled away but stayed close, pressing her forehead against Amelia's.

"I like looking at you too. A lot," she shyly smiled at the brunette.

Amelia smirked. "Understandable, I'm pretty attractive."

"And oh-so modest," Arizona said playfully.

"Shut up!" she swatted her lightly at her left arm and the blonde giggled.

"Make me? Pretty please?"

"Only because I want to, not because you asked me to."

"Sure."

Arizona took the lead of their second kiss, hoping to convey as much of her feelings as she could, wanting to prove to the neurosurgeon that whatever this new development in between them was, she was in. The blonde pushed the sheets out of her way and straddled Amelia, who moaned in surprise. Arizona took advantage of this to swipe her tongue inside Amelia's mouth and was pleased when the brunette let out an appreciative whimper.

While their tongues were making acquaintances with each other, the neurosurgeon let her hands stroll over the other woman's body. Her fingers hiked up the smooth skin of bare thighs until she reached a piece of fabric, the blonde's panties. Without hesitation, she cupped Arizona's butt with two full hands, not groping it as much as resting there and gently pulled the blonde closer. The hand onto her neck squeezed her delicately before Arizona pulled away.

"You're really good at kissing," Amelia said breathily, her eyes hazily searching for her roommate's.

"Better than Owen?" she kidded.

"Infinitely, there's no comparison," the neurosurgeon couldn't help but peck the blonde's mouth. Now that she was allowed to, she never wanted to stop. "Plus his beard was scratchy," she scrunched up her nose.

Arizona chuckled and rested her arms onto the other woman's shoulders. "Sleep with me tonight?" she asked hopefully.

"I'm not that easy, Robbins," Amelia said lightheartedly with a smirk.

"Oh, fuck off. You know what I mean."

"Shouldn't we, you know, talk about this first? Us?" a faint blush covered her cheeks.

Arizona could sense the nervousness radiating from the other woman, the small lip worrying she was doing and her sheepish voice were indicators enough. One of her hand wandered down Amelia's arm and pulled it to grab her clammy hand. Once their fingers interlaced, she brought them to her mouth and placed a tender kiss on the back of Amelia's to comfort her.

"How about we take it easy? It doesn't have to get all complex. I like you, you like me. Why don't we give ourselves a little time to see where this is going before slapping a label on it, okay? We don't have to rush into anything we're not ready for," her tone was calm and kindhearted which eased the other woman's worries away.

The brunette visibly relaxed, a huge breath leaving her body. "Sorry. It has been a really long time since I liked someone and have actively done something about it so I'm probably going to freak out a few times."

"You don't have to be sorry. I get it. Let's just go with the flow and do what feels right, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you."

"You're more than welcome. And it has been a long time since I liked someone too."

The smile the pediatric surgeon had been trying so hard to get back onto Amelia's mouth finally appeared, bright and beautiful. Arizona's thumb rubbed the back of her hand affectionately.

"So do you want to sleep here with me tonight?"

"Do I get snuggles?"

"Of course. And if you're lucky enough, you might be able to sneak a few more of those kisses you seem to like so much."

"Deal then," Amelia giggled and kissed Arizona once more. Her lips were so tender and soft, she'd probably kiss her all night long if she could. "Let me take a shower first, I smell like hospital."

Arizona un-straddled her so the brunette could finally get up. As soon as the bathroom door was close, Amelia broke into a victory dance. She had kissed Arizona Robbins. And the blonde had kissed her back. Multiples times. And they were going to sleep together. She felt like a lovesick teenager and could almost roll her eyes at her own behavior.

Arizona was the first person she had really clicked with, romantically speaking, since Ryan. She had feared she would never feel like this again. That she would never feel this excited and happy towards another person again. And sure, it was too soon to tell where Arizona and she were heading but the mere fact of knowing she could experience those emotions was amazing. It felt like crossing an important bridge.

As she got out of the warm shower, she quickly towel-dried her hair and suddenly became very aware of the fact that she had the habit of sleeping naked. She pondered if she should grab some pajamas from her room or not. They had just admitted to liking each other, nakedness might be a little soon, right? On the other hand, it wasn't like Arizona hadn't seen her body before and she was probably going to see it again rather soon anyway. But she also didn't want to weird Arizona out. Eventually, she decided to ask the pediatric surgeon instead of mind torturing herself.

"Hey," she said to get Arizona's attention, popping only her head through the doorway.

The pediatric surgeon locked her phone up and looked up. Amelia noticed she had put her pajamas pants back on.

"I need your opinion on something."

Arizona raised her eyebrows, confused but intrigued. "Fire away."

"Would it be awkward if I forwent the pajamas?"

"What?" Arizona's eyebrows raised comically higher.

"You know I don't usually wear them for sleep! They feel strange and wrong. But we just admitted our feelings and throwing my naked body at you might seem a little hurried. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"I think you mean turned on," the blonde chuckled and Amelia blushed. It was cute to see the brunette make sure she was alright with it though, to care about her enough to ask. "It's fine Amelia, I don't mind. It's not like I haven't seen it before."

"You sure? I wouldn't want my hotness to keep you up," she smirked, her confidence back.

"I think I'll manage just fine, Dr. Dork. Come on, hope in," she uncovered the spot next to her.

Amelia got in happily, pecking her and then clinging to the other woman. She glued her front to Arizona's back, her nose half buried into blonde hair and half buried into her neck, her arm dropped loosely around the other woman's waist.

"G'night Zona," Amelia planted one last kiss onto the back of Arizona's neck.

"Good night Amelia," she replied sleepily.

A few moments later, Amelia muttered, "Can't believe you thought I liked Owen. Owen."

Arizona giggled as she melted a little further into the protective embrace.

Amelia unpleasantly woke up in the middle of the night, a pager beeping loudly into the silent room, effectively waking up both women with its urgency. Hands fumbled around to find their devices, silently hoping it was a false alarm and that they would be able to go right back to sleep – as if there was ever a possibility of that happening.

"It's mine. Sorry," Amelia huffed loudly. She kissed her roommate's shoulder and headed towards her chest of drawers blindly. She didn't want to wake Arizona up any further by lighting the room up. "Go back to sleep, Zona."

"'Kay," the blonde didn't need to be told twice and melted back under her sheets. However, the ruckus alerted her and she frowned, her eyes still closed. When it didn't stop, she turned on her bedside lamp and giggled when she saw what was happening. "Sheperd?"

"Yes?" she said, still exploring her clothes.

"This is my bedroom. Those aren't your clothes, sleepyhead," she replied, her tone amused.

Amelia's eyes popped out of her head and she looked, really looked this time, at her hands, not recognizing what she had blindly taken. "Right," she put them back in and closed the drawer with her hip. "No wonder I was having trouble figuring out where my pants were."

The brunette kindly yet tiredly smiled at the blonde and dropped a kiss onto her forehead. "I'll see you later. Get some sleep."

"Good luck," Arizona softly kissed her lips before shrinking her body back under the warm covers. "Don't forget to close the front door."

"Will do, boss," the neurosurgeon turned off the light and walked out as noiselessly as she could.

When Derek came in the next morning and found his baby sister smiling from ear to ear, he was glad. However, when he learned she had been here since four AM and still hadn't drunk a single cup of coffee or eaten breakfast, he got suspicious. Sure, her emergency surgery had gone well, but this wasn't her usual I'm-a-freaking-rock-star-neurosurgeon-smile. No, this was something else. The only time he remembered seeing her grinning like this was when- oh.

"Don't you look awfully cheerful this morning, Amy," he said in lieu of greetings, leaning onto his elbow next to her at the nurses' station.

"I am," she said with a warm smile, not bothering to look up from her chart.

"What's his name?"

"What makes you think there's a he?"

"You're smiling."

That got her attention and she looked up at him incredulously, "I'm smiling?"

"Yeah. Like cheek-hurting, non-stop smiling. So, who he is?"

"Nope, not telling you a thing," Amelia pursed her lips and closed her patient's file up, tucking it under her left arm as she walked away.

Unfortunately, her brother followed her, lacing his arm with hers. "It is Hunt? I noticed you guys have gotten rather close over the last few weeks."

"Don't you have patients to harass instead of your little sister?" she asked instead.

"My next surgery is in an hour, I have some time to kill. Does he work at the hospital? Do I know him?"

Amelia sighed loudly and gave him a pointed look. "Stop being meddlesome Der. I'm a big girl. I don't need you to hover over my love life."

"I'm your big brother Amy. I'm supposed to be over-bearing, who else is going to do it? So tell me everything, is he from the hospital? Doctor? Surgeon? Nurse?"

"Goodbye Derek," she said as she entered the ladies' room, knowing he wouldn't follow her in.

"You know I could just ask Robbins, right?" he shouted loudly to the door as if Amelia was still here.

Miranda, who happened to walk by, stopped on her tracks. "Talking to the doors now, aren't we? Do I need to find you a place on the psych ward, Dr Sheperd?"

"Hey stranger," Amelia greeted Arizona at the nurses' station.

"Hey, just who I was looking for," she flipped her patient's file close and handed it to Wilson. "Monitor Kathleen Glass closely and beep me if her saturation gets lower than 92%, okay?" she turned towards the brunette, "You got a minute?"

"Yes, Dr Robbins," and with that, Wilson scattered away.

"Yeah, sure, what's up? Do you need help on a case?" Amelia asked and started to walk along the blonde.

She opened the first supply closet on their way and pulled the neurosurgeon in with her.

"Nope. Just wanted to do this."

Before Amelia could ask what this was, two hands were tenderly cupping her cheeks and slowly bringing her closer until their lips found each other.

When she pulled back, the brunette looked surprised. "Oh."

"Is that a good oh or a bad oh? I can't decide," Arizona squinted her eyes.

Amelia tugged onto the pediatric surgeon's lab coat until she was close enough to wrap her arms around her hips. "Definitely good," she kissed her again, harder.

"How did your emergency go this morning?"

"Perfect. Your kiss from this morning truly was good luck."

"Somehow, I think the fact that you're one of the best neurosurgeons in the world has more to do with it," Arizona giggled.

"You may be right. I'm pretty awesome," she smirked.

"Did Awesome ever find her clothes this morning?" Arizona kidded.

"Fuck you," Amelia chastised playfully. "It was three AM and I was a little disoriented, okay?"

"That I did notice indeed. You look cute when you're all sleepy and tired by the way."

"Ah-ah! Jokes on you 'cause I look cute all the time."

"God, I'm in for a ride with you, aren't I?" Arizona asked rhetorically with a dreamy smile, her bright eyes looking at the brunette with nothing but care and fondness.