CHAPTER 25 – GONNA LOVE YOU
Amelia was in the shower so Arizona woke up alone to cold empty sheets next to her. She stretched her limbs around lazily, a few articulations popping here and there. She could hear the neurosurgeon's muffled voice softly singing along the water running and decided to join her. She entered the bathroom and was actually glad with herself for being naturedly pretty quiet since the brunette hadn't heard her come in and it gave the blonde a good occasion to spy on her partner.
As she discarded her pajamas, she could see that Amelia's shower routine had quite evolved. The brunette was now alternating between confidently air guitaring and singing her head off into her shampoo bottle-turned microphone for the occasion. As time passed by, the brunette let herself to be more carefree and let her guards down more often around Sofia and Arizona. It didn't go unnoticed and the blonde was happy to see her growing more confident and assured into their relationship, hiding less and less the parts of herself Amelia was judging too ugly or unlovable or simply weird.
"I almost feel like I should pay for this concert," Arizona joked and Amelia jumped, obviously frightened by the voice.
"Oh hey! You're up!" the brunette opened the shower door to invite her in with a charming grin.
"Are you sure you have place for one more in there or am I at risk of getting hit by your air-guitar?" Arizona said playfully and walked in regardless of the reply, leaning her crutches against the wall.
The brunette absentmindedly checked the blonde's hot body out and waited for her to be stabilized near the handle bars so she could snake her arms around her. She was greeted by her usual good morning kiss.
"Of course not," Amelia's hands strolled on Arizona's hips. "And now that you're here, we can duet!" she said cheerfully.
Arizona just shook her head, a smile on her lips and pulled her into a breathless kiss. Sometimes she couldn't believe that Amelia Sheperd, this great talented nationally-renowned kick-ass neurosurgeon was such a dork.
"How about we just focus on why we're here, huh?" she snatched the shampoo bottle from Amelia's hand and squirted some into the palm of her own hand. "Shampoo?" she proposed to Amelia.
Amelia nodded and turned around, offering her wet hair and naked back to the blonde. "I got in not long before you, I just washed my body. And you know we can shower and still sing. The two are not mutually exclusive."
Arizona gently spread the shampoo around and washed Amelia's silky hair until there were enough bubbles to her taste. Her fingers then lingered onto her scalp and Amelia tilted her head back at the touch.
"I take it back. Who cares about singing when you can have a scalp massage instead?" she moaned and leaned back in even further.
Arizona passed a few more moments scratching her partner's head and eventually pulled her hair into a big bun on the top of her head and dropped a kiss on her shoulder, seeing shivers appear where her lips had been mere seconds ago. Amelia reciprocated the intimacy. She washed Arizona's body, the fresh flowery smell filling the air surrounding them. She started at her collarbones and worked her way down, mindful to keep her touch agreeable while still being effective. She knelt down to cover her leg and kissed her belly on her way up before grabbing the shampoo and washing the blonde hair too.
The neurosurgeon couldn't help but do ridiculous hairstyles. The pediatric surgeon definitely understood why Sofia liked bath-times with Amelia so much. After messing around and doing some more experimental artwork, she settled on one.
"Okay, this is my favorite so far," Amelia said proudly as she finished her girlfriend's shampoo Mohawk. "Makes you look extra fierce."
Arizona posed jokingly, sending the brunette into a laughing fit.
"Okay, you rebel punk, I think I got it."
Amelia grabbed the shower head and waited for Arizona to lean her head backward. She rinsed the bubbles out, being extremely careful to not put any into her eyes and ran her fingers through her honey blonde hair, mindful of the few knots she found there. She then rinsed the shower gel out and her own hair and body.
Feeling her right leg growing tired from supporting her weight for so long, even though she was using the handle bars, Arizona sat down onto the plastic chair that was folded back against the wall. It had been a requirement of hers when she had been searching for a house: it had to be accessible for a disabled person. If for one reason or another, she wasn't able to use her prosthetic and instead had to use her wheelchair, she had to be able to pass the doors and cook and shower and do everything she wanted in her house without any help. Moreover, having a chair in their shower just made shower sex that much more easy and comfortable.
The blonde grabbed the conditioner bottle and started to untangle her hair while Amelia shaved. Eventually, when they were both clean and ready to face the day ahead, Amelia turned off the water and opened slightly the shower door to let the warm air out. She grabbed one of the fluffy towels she had put onto the counter and handed it to the blonde before wrapping herself into another.
"May I help?" Amelia asked with eyes full of attention and care.
Arizona hesitated, but nodded when she saw Amelia's face. She knew the neurosurgeon wasn't asking because of her leg but because she genuinely wanted to simply be caring.
It had taken her some time to re-learn to appreciate the sweet attentions for what they were instead of a reminder of her disability. It used to make her so angry and mad at first. It made her feel like people pitied her, like they didn't believe she could do it on her own and it hurt. It hurt her pride, it hurt because she felt belittled and humiliated, like she was a burden.
But worst of all, it hurt because it was a constant reminder that her life wouldn't ever be the same. She would have to find a new balance. It hadn't been easy to grieve her past life and to be thrown into a new one so quickly, it hadn't seemed fair. And looking back, none of it had been fair, but unfortunately it was just the way life was. Stuffs kept on happening and you had to learn how to deal with it.
Her recovery had been a lengthy process to arrive to where she was standing today. It had started when she was still with Calliope and after their divorce, she had kept on working on it every day. It had been hard work: nights of crying, hours of standing in front of mirrors, sweaty sessions of physiotherapy and countless falls… But it had been necessary and now she could actually feel proud of how much she had accomplished over the last few years.
Arizona was awfully thankful for Amelia's patience with her. The neurosurgeon made it seem all so natural to care for her without being overbearing and trying to do things for her, treating her as her equal and not some project to fix or like she was damaged. It made the blonde feel extremely lucky to have found her.
Amelia grabbed her thighs to lift her up and gently sat her down onto the counter.
"Gosh, I may need to tone it down with the marking," she stated as she eyed her lover's thighs, full of bruises and almost all of them adorning a different shade. Amelia had a tendency to go a little overboard with thighs hickeys and she was just now realizing it.
"Yeah, I wouldn't want my girlfriend to find out I have a mistress," the pediatric surgeon joked with a playful smile.
"Shut up!" Amelia chuckled and softly swatted her with her towel.
"I have to say, it made for quite an uncomfortable moment when Derek walked in on me getting out of my scrub pants though."
Amelia frowned. "What? My brother saw you butt-naked? Why am I just learning about this now?"
The blonde giggled. "I would like to point out that, contrary to someone I shall not name, I do wear underwear. So inherently, if someone walks in while I'm changing, I'm actually not butt-naked. Unlike others," she said pointedly with an eyebrow raised.
"Once! It happened only once! And you were the one walking in and you didn't particularly seem to mind," Amelia smirked and pecked her lips.
"Mmh-mmh. I'm just glad it was me."
"Anyway, like Derek is the one to talk. Have you seen the scratches all over Meredith's back? Poor woman."
"Wow, I never thought I would see the day where you would get competitive with Derek over who is the most sexually aggressive," Arizona chuckled.
"Uh, God. Don't put pictures in my mind!" Amelia realized, horrified. "Yuck," she shook her head to chase away the awful thoughts that were unfortunately coming to her mind. "You're the devil Robbins, I'm leavin'," she said and put the blonde's crutches within her girlfriend's reach before turning around and leaving, swaying her hips more than usual to taunt her.
Amelia's thoughtfulness made Arizona's heart swell, the way the brunette made it look so easy to make sure the blonde could grab her crutches, the way Amelia made it so easy to fall in love with her. But before she could even linger on that thought, her mind was grasped by the neurosurgeon's naked form slowly and sensually going away.
"Babe, come back! I was joking," she whined childishly and grabbed one of her crutches to poke her.
It got Amelia's attention and she turned around, not moving any further or closer of her lover.
She squinted her eyes and asked doubtfully, "Did you just poke me?"
Arizona smirked at her. "What if I did?" she defied.
Amelia raised an eyebrow and walked closer until she was standing in between the blonde legs. "I'm afraid I have no choice but punish you then," she whispered as she leaned in very slowly to kiss her as her hands traveled onto the blonde's hips.
Arizona closed her eyes in anticipation and felt Amelia's breath caressing her lips. Barely were their lips touching though, the neurosurgeon tickled her sides.
Arizona waltzed into the scan room Karev had paged her in, appearing to be in somewhat a rush, her steps slightly faster than usual and a determined look locked onto her features. He was sitting in front of a laptop with an interested look, his head leaning to the left as he studied the screens intensely.
"You only got fifteen minutes. I have a thing at one PM," she informed him as she took a sit next to him, her eyes already wandering towards the bright scans.
Alex frowned. He didn't remember seeing Robbins' name next to any surgery on the surgical board. "Operating emergency incoming?" he asked curiously.
"Nope. Got a date," she replied flatly as she zoomed in to get a better look.
His eyebrows shot up, now he was interested. "Aren't you supposed to be here until tonight? Isn't She-Sheperd working?"
"We both are. Now would you like to talk me trough whatever I'm supposed to be looking at or are you going to keep asking about my private life?" she asked in a firm way that left no place for inquiry.
Alex raised both of his hands, he'd figure this out later. He turned towards the scans once more, "Okay, so as you can see this area…"
Arizona eventually entered the on call room on the neurology wing. Amelia was already sitting onto the bottom bunk bed, playing on her phone and Arizona recognized the Pokémon Go theme song. As the brunette heard the door opened and closed, she quickly pocketed the device while her eyes fell onto the blonde.
"You're late," she pouted playfully and got up to wrap her arms around Arizona's neck.
The blonde kissed the pout away and rested her forehead against the other woman's. "I know, I'm sorry. Karev wanted a last minute consult and the first elevator ride available stopped at almost each floor."
"Woe is you," Amelia pecked her once more just because she could.
Arizona seemed to get a different idea though and deepened the kiss, her tongue swooping against Amelia's bottom lip as she pulled her impossibly closer by the hips until there was no space left in between them. Arizona's hands soon started to stroll under her scrub top, searching hungrily for new skin to caress. However, her actions were quickly stopped and Amelia pulled away, her eyes slightly dazed.
"Uh-uh. I-I've a surprise for you first."
"Can't it wait?" Arizona asked raspily while her lips settled onto the neurosurgeon's jaw and her hands went back to her partner's ribcage.
Amelia softly pushed the blonde away by placing a hand onto her sternum in order to put some distance in between her and the cause of her increasing arousal. "I'm afraid it can't."
Arizona huffed grumpily. "Fine."
"Don't look so happy about it," Amelia teased.
The pediatric surgeon rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, visibly irritated. "I'm not. I wanna fu-"
"Shhh. Now close your eyes and hold your hands forward."
The blonde complied, still disgruntled, and held her grabby hands upwards waiting for the surprise delivery. "Is it coffee?" Arizona asked.
She heard Amelia chuckle. "Nap date for now, coffee date for later," she said.
Arizona heard a little bit of tousling around, some metallic sounds happening and then a loud humf.
"Okay, it's a pretty big package. You ready?"
Arizona nodded, now intrigued instead of sexually frustrated. Something was placed into her arms and she identified it right away. Her eyes fluttered opened, falling onto Sofia's smiling face.
"Oh, hey sweetheart!"
"Hola mommy!" she said excitedly with a warm grin.
"What are you doing here baby?" she repositioned her daughter better, sitting her on her hip.
"It's nap time, duh!"
The pediatric surgeon looked at Amelia questioningly and she shrugged. "Callie's working too so she was trapped in daycare. Thought it would be great to invite our munchkin to our kid friendly date. It's nap time for her too anyway so why not make the most of it, you know?"
"Ademàs, the nap room at daycare smells like feet," she scrunched up her nose. "I'd rather be with you and 'Melia."
This elected a giggle from both surgeons.
"Do you like your present?" the brunette asked.
Arizona could tell by Amelia's shy grin and her nervous playing fingers that she was insecure about the whole thing. So she wanted to make sure the brunette knew how much she appreciated her effort. She grabbed her hand and laced their fingers together to stop her from moving and planted a kiss onto her cheek.
"I do. Thank you a lot, baby."
The brunette's smile grew, Arizona's encouragement sending a warm fuzzy feeling into the pit of her stomach. "Let's get to bed then, I'll get your stuff Sof'."
The blonde sat onto the edge of the bed and took her prosthetic off while Amelia grabbed Sofia's stuff from the top bunk and the little girl took off her pants and shoes to be more comfortable. Arizona shimmied under the sheets and opened her arms to invite Sofia in.
The neurosurgeon handed their daughter her pacifier and her cuddle toy before spooning with her two favorite humans. The bed being designed for only one person, the three of them were forced to awkwardly squeeze together, but Arizona wouldn't have it any other way. Sofia was already yawning.
"All snuggly?" Amelia asked and she stroked her long black hair unconsciously to soothe her.
Sofia nodded and hid her face into the crook of her mommy's neck, her mouth sucking rhythmically onto her plastic pacifier as her eyes grew heavier and heavier at each passing minute. Not long after, she was asleep.
"Thanks. It was a really good idea. I hadn't realized how much I needed that," Arizona confessed sleepily.
"In all honesty, I kind of missed her this week. I didn't have a lot of time to stop by daycare to see her a whole lot. It's been hard."
Arizona knew exactly what she meant. Amelia was having a very difficult and emotional week. A lot of hard cases that took a lot of time and a success rate next to zero were leaving her struggling with her addictions. She had been crying a lot. She was going to AA more than usual. When Arizona wasn't at their apartment, Owen was always over. Arizona had caught her staring at her chip more time this week than she had seen they had started dating.
Amelia didn't want to be left alone. She didn't trust herself to be strong enough to resist the urge to prescribe herself some oxy and go out to the pharmacy to get some or go to Target and buy alcohol. Arizona did her best to help her through it: holding her as she cried, buying a lot a comfort food, listening to her struggles, sharing a lot of baths… And it helped. Amelia didn't know how she would have ended up this week if Arizona hadn't been there for her. All of this support and care were just making her fall in love with her all over again. She hadn't felt this cherished for in a long time.
But there was something about holding her child in her arms. It was cathartic. This little bundle of innocence and cheerfulness that made all her bad thoughts fly away almost magically. As long as Sofia was smiling at her and Arizona was by her side, it was all going to be okay. She just had to take it one day at a time.
"I have to say, overly maternal and protective Amelia is awfully adorable," the pediatric surgeon winked, followed by a yawn.
"Let's go to sleep honey. We're both tired."
"Can I get my good-nap kiss?" Arizona asked with big hopeful eyes, as if Amelia was ever going to say no.
"Of course," she leaned over, careful of Sofia sleeping and pecked her partner.
A few minutes later, Arizona was asleep and Amelia was resisting Morpheus' arms, wanting to savor every minute she could by staying awake. The pediatric surgeon looked beautiful like this. Her wavy blonde hair curtaining her angelic features, her natural pinkish lips slightly apart, her breath slowly teasing one of their daughter's wild brunette lock. Sofia was safely tucked into her arms, her small hand fisting her mom's scrub top in her sleep, her eyebrows furrowing every so often as she dreamt peacefully.
Amelia didn't know how much time passed like this before her eyelids finally closed for good.
Arizona was the first to wake up an hour later. Groggily, she opened her eyes and looked at her two brunettes, still sleeping. Sofia had apparently had enough of her and was now hugging Amelia, her little body almost on top of the adult as she tried to fit as much as the adult as she could into her little arms.
Eventually, after another thirty minutes of tranquility, they had to get back to work. Since Sofia was still fairly sleepy, Arizona just squeezed her back into her clothes and Amelia carried her into her arms back to daycare so she could wake up slowly on the way instead of having to walk. They kissed her goodbye as she sat at the drawing table and waved.
"You wanna get coffee?" Arizona asked with a yawn, which in turn made her girlfriend yawn.
"Sure. I think like I'm gonna be yawning for the rest of the day otherwise."
The blonde grabbed her hand and interlocked their fingers together. She gently tugged them towards the cafeteria. They were halfway there when the neurosurgeon got paged. She whined as she looked down at the offensive device.
"I have to go."
"I'll come by to give you your coffee."
"Really?" she asked hopefully.
"Of course. Wouldn't want you to fall back asleep during surgery," the blonde teased playfully.
"You're the best," Amelia kissed her one last time before walking away.
"I know," Arizona said smugly to herself and she kept on walking to the cafeteria, still in dear need of some caffeine.
She felt someone grab her elbow and April appeared next to her, falling in line with her.
"You got it really bad, girl." April teased.
"I do," Arizona replied lovingly to her friend, still into a daze. "She's just so adorable, I can't help it. We just had a nap date and she surprised me by bringing Sofia with her because she missed her. How can I resist?"
"Oh," the redhead cued. "That's so cute."
"I know, right? I'm so lucky to have her."
"Guess who has two thumbs and is the most awesome person in the whole world?" Amelia asked excitedly as she entered the surgical scrub room.
"Who?" Arizona asked as she took off her surgical gloves.
"You, duh," the neurosurgeon said with a wide grin.
"Thanks," Arizona blushed at the unexpected compliment, but it was definitely a confidence booster and a nice thing to hear.
"You're more than welcome. You rocked that OR. Did you see the stars in nurse Bokhee's eyes when you stopped that bleed from the iliac vein? Swear she had never seen a more perfect surgical move before. And don't even get me started on the intern. I think Wilson almost got a brain orgasm when you and Hunt decided to re-attach the muscle's tendon to save the leg. I know I almost did."
Arizona chuckled and her arms came to rest on the brunette's shoulders. "Amelia?"
"What?" she asked with a goofy smile.
"Promise me you'll never change? I pulled off a forty eight hours shift, I just got out of a seven hours surgery standing up, my limb is aching in the worst way, it would be a miracle if I don't have a blister. I'm dead tired, this kid basically pulled every freaking trick into the medical book. He coded twice for fuck's sake! Yet, here you are, making me laugh and smile even though I'm exhausted and all I want to do is cry and sleep. You're perfect, don't ever change."
Amelia, not really sure what to reply, kissed her languidly instead. No words she could say could translate what she was feeling inside. So she kissed the blonde with all she had, hoping she would catch how much it meant to her. This was the closest thing she got to an I love you yet and already, it left her body all warm and fuzzy with her heart thumping rapidly in her chest.
"Only if you promise to do the same," she replied tenderly. Then, Amelia scrunched up her nose and Arizona could swear there was a glint of mischief floating in her deep blue eyes, meaning the other woman was probably about to say something silly. "But in the interest of full disclosure, I have to warn you that I do plan on getting more and more awesome every year," the neurosurgeon kidded. "But I can totally tone it down a little, wouldn't want to outshine the true hero here."
The blonde shook her head, a chuckle escaping her.
"Bath?" Arizona asked as they took their shoes off, finally home after their long day.
"That sounds wonderful."
"I'll get the water started."
The blonde took out some towels and fresh pajamas before going to the bathroom and turning the faucet open. A few seconds later, warm water poured through and she put the stopper in. Arizona was removing her panties when Amelia walked in, a carton of orange juice in her hand while the other one rubbed her sleepy eyes.
"Thirsty?" she handed the carton to the blonde.
The woman took a few sips, the fresh and sweet fruity flavor a nice change from the bitter cafeteria coffee she had been drinking since this morning. "Thanks."
"You're welcome," she put it away and started to undress while a naked Arizona stepped into the bathtub.
The warm water on her skin made her hiss contently, her sore muscles finally relaxing. The pediatric surgeon rested her head onto the edge and she stared unashamedly at every new inch of skin the other woman was uncovering. Her sharp and defined collarbones, the small mole onto her left shoulder blade, her breasts free of their restrictive cocoons, strong thighs covered with sun-kissed skin and soft hairs, the fading scar onto her right calf… Every new bit coming exposed was just as mesmerizing as the last. Arizona wouldn't be able to tear her eyes apart if she wanted to. As the brunette toed of her socks however, the pediatric surgeon saw something rather unusual.
"What happened to your toes?" the blonde asked with a bemused smile.
"Oh that?" Amelia wiggled them around, showing them off. "Zola and I gave ourselves pedicures yesterday. You like?"
"It's very… colorful," Arizona said politely with a giggle. Every toenail was a bright different color.
"Yeah, she went a little overboard with the colors but it's my feet. I figured, they pass all day long in my socks where nobody can see them so, why not go a little wild?" the neurosurgeon shrugged. "Scoot over please?"
The blonde did as she was told and Amelia slipped into the bath behind her. Once surrounded by warm water and comfortably lay down, her arms found their way around the other woman's waist to pull her closer.
"This is nice," the blonde said happily.
She could feel Amelia's flesh against her back, her naked breasts pressing against her shoulder blades. The water and comfortable silence surrounding them brought her the much needed soothing feeling she had been longing for after this long hard shift. The blonde let her head fell backwards and dropped a tender kiss onto her lover's jaw line. She was rewarded by a peck on her temple.
"It sure is."
The brunette grabbed a bottle from the edge and poured some of the blue liquid. Barely a few seconds later, bubbles were coming alive and the sweet smell of peaches filled the bathroom. Arizona closed her eyes and almost purred when Amelia started to rub her limb. She let herself be cared for happily for a while and she could feel her mind slipping in between consciousness and sleep. Eventually, the hands stopped their caring ministrations. She opened her eyes, ready to complain. However, the neurosurgeon's goofy smile welcoming her made the words abruptly dissolved in her throat.
"Did anyone ever tell you that you look awfully cute in bubbles?" Amelia asked.
Amelia just chuckled and gently pushed her nose against Arizona's neck, nuzzling it. "You too, honey."
"Zona, there's something missing."
Arizona frowned and racked her brain to figure out what Amelia was talking about but came up empty. "What is it?"
"You have to promise not to get mad," the neurosurgeon said with a cheeky grin and a glint of mischief in her eyes.
Arizona squinted her eyes and furrowed her eyebrows, knowing some bullshit was coming up by the look Amelia was sporting. But her curiosity got the best of her and she took the bait. "Okay," she conceded.
"Pinky promise?" Amelia got her wet pinky out of the water and the blonde grabbed it with her own to seal the deal.
That was when she sang. And of course, Amelia being Amelia, she just had to sing "kiss the girl" by Sebastian from the little mermaid. Because, of course.
"You, shithead!" Arizona shrieked, almost desperately and she lightheartedly splashed the other woman.
Amelia chuckled at her own little joke, obviously proud of herself but immediately stopped her torture.
"You're a meanie," Arizona complained and pouted.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart. Let me make it up to you," Amelia pecked her. "Scoot forward, I'll wash your hair."
"You better," the pediatric surgeon scooted and leaned her head backwards.
Amelia wetted them and applied the shampoo, careful to not put any into her partner's eyes. She shook her hands into the water to get rid of the bubbles and then grabbed the body wash. Ever so softly, she scrubbed Arizona's body and then did the same thing to hers. Once conditioner out of their hairs, the water was still fairly warm so both women decided to stay in and relax a little.
Within minutes, relaxing turned into good old sleeping for the tired blonde. The brunette didn't want to wake her up but the water was turning cold and the bathtub probably wasn't the best place to pass the night.
She managed to get out without waking Arizona and quickly wrapped herself into a fluffy towel. Leaning forward, she snaked an arm under Arizona's leg and the other around her shoulders and slowly lifted her up. Being the light sleeper she was, the blonde woke up naked, soaking wet into Amelia's arms and disoriented.
"You fell asleep," the brunette explained and sat her down onto the counter. She quickly threw a big towel over the blonde's shoulders and hugged her close when she saw her shivering.
"Sorry," Arizona mumbled as she yawned into Amelia's neck, relishing into the protective embrace.
"Don't apologize, baby. It's been a long day for you."
Teeth brushed, a half-lidded Arizona headed straight to bed, too tired to even put pajamas on or blow-dry her hair. She fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. Amelia came in a few minutes later and got under the covers to join her sleeping girlfriend. The digging mattress disturbed the blonde slightly and she wiggled closer to the other woman.
"You're sticky," the pediatric surgeon stated as she cuddled closer from the heat source nonetheless. She was frowning with her eyes closed, obviously not happy with that fact.
Amelia gently pushed a damp wild lock of hair that had fallen in front of her girlfriend's face. "Lotion," she said simply and grabbed her book, not quite tired enough to go to sleep yet.
Two chapters later, her eyelids grew heavier and heavier with each word. Arizona had moved her body in between the neurosurgeon's legs, her head resting comfortably onto her belly and her arms wrapped protectively around her midsection. The brunette couldn't fight off the grin that was gracing her lips. Arizona made her feel so loved and secure, she silently promised herself to do her best to make sure her girlfriend felt this way too.
Before she even knew what was doing, she could hear herself sleepily whispering, "I'm falling in love with you," before pressing a soft kiss on top of the blonde's head.
She turned the lights off and went to sleep.