CHAPTER 28 - ONLY

Arizona was in deep slumber when she was abruptly woken up by her phone loudly ringing, filling up the silence of the bedroom and breaking down every ounce of the sanctuary the dark room and the faint lavender scented sheets cocoon she had snuggled in provided. Groggily and blindly, an arm ventured bravely out in the cold and patted around for the disturbing device. The blonde accepted the call without even looking at the name, not feeling ready to open her eyes yet, and her arm eagerly came back under the warm sheets as she placed the phone to her ear against her will. She knew whoever was calling her was going to wake her up with some medical jargon and probably be in a rush at the same time. She couldn't help but silently hope for a wrong number, but she knew she was just fooling herself. So she mentally prepared her brain to be assaulted with every word available in the medical book that Wilson could spew out at the speed of light.

"Robbins," her voice cracked with sleep so she cleared her throat.

"Arizona? It's Callie."

From this introduction only, Arizona could tell something was wrong. Calliope sounded in a rush and disturbed, her faintly hasty breaths coming out louder than usual through the speaker. Arizona became more alert. She frowned, still somewhat groggily, her eyes still closed and her mind foggy.

"Oh, hi Calliope. It's nighttime?"

"I know, I'm sorry but it's Sofia."

That woke Arizona up better than any alarm clock in the world ever would. The blonde quickly sat up, her protective warm nest long forgotten, seeming suddenly futile so she threw the covers away. The cold helped her wake up, shivers ran all over body at the unexpected move and she lighted up the bedside lamp, the harsh light forcing her eyes to open cruelly. She welcomed it anyway: it coerced her awake, compelled her every cell to come alive and her mind to focus on what was what. Sofia almost appeared like a secret code that triggered her reaction.

"I'm up! I'm up! What's wrong?"

"She's been throwing up non-stop for over an hour. Her belly is hurting very badly. I tried painkillers and antalgic positioning and honestly, neither of them helped a lot and she can't keep the medication down anyway. She also started running a light fever, her last temp was 102," Callie's words came out without a breath in between them, worry and anxiety dripping through her every sentence.

Arizona could almost picture her frantic state. The apprehension on her features, the same deep black eyes as her daughter's probably filled with unshed tears as she tried to not panic and her hand holding her phone shakily. Calliope Torres may be one of the best ortho surgeons in the whole goddamn US, but tonight, she was a simple scared mom.

The pediatric surgeon tried to rationalize, not letting her feelings get the best of her and imagining the worst. Trying to think with her brain and not her heart at the best of her abilities after being awake for only a whole two minutes.

"Did she eat anything unusual? It could be food poisoning," she winced at the hint of fear lacing her voice. She had tried her best to sound calm and reassuring as to not spur her ex-wife's own meltdown but she could tell she hadn't been as successful at erasing it as she would have liked.

"No, she ate peas and a steak at school and we had a veggie salad tonight. I palpated McBurney's point and it was very tender and painful for her. I'm more thinking along the line of appendicitis. Her pain is really bad Arizona, and you and I both know she's not one to complain easily. I'm taking her to the hospital right away."

"Yes, of course. Uh, Karev is on call. Let me call him and get dressed. I'll join you guys at the hospital. Kiss her for me?"

"Okay, we'll see you then."

"See you. Please be careful on the road okay? Now's not the time to violate the driver's manual and get pulled over."

When Amelia came home that night – almost morning really – she was more than surprised to see some light escaping from the doorway of their bedroom. She figured Arizona must have forgotten to turn it off or had probably fallen asleep with it on. She quickly discarded her shoes and coat as noiselessly as possible before entering their bedroom. Her breath was cut short when she caught the sight inside.

Arizona's body was lying on the floor, unconscious, a small pool of blood surrounding her head, thankfully not expending anymore but the amount already out was quite scary. Her crutches were littered in the room and she was still in her pajamas.

The brunette stood frozen in the doorway, too overwhelmed to do anything except freak out. Flashbacks of Ryan lying in their room were racing through her mind and she begged her body to move, to just do something. She had already lost her fiancé, she couldn't lose her partner too. She wouldn't watch another one of her loved ones leave her in a body bag, she wouldn't be able to handle it.

Her legs transported her next Arizona's head, her knees falling painfully harsh onto the woodened floor and staining her pants with blood but she couldn't care less. Tears were blurring her vision but she chose to ignore them. Her fingers hurried to the blonde's jugular and a new wave of tears came out when she felt a strong pulse underneath her fingertips. Relief ran through her every cell and her heartbeat decreased, not quite normal just yet but still significantly less quick than a few seconds ago. Her lungs finally filled with air, breathing again and she almost choked at the big intake of oxygen.

She watched as Arizona's chest went up and down rhythmically and she leaned her ear close to the blonde's mouth, trying to hear any whizzing or irregularities. Once she was sure her respiratory system and venous system were okay, she rolled her girlfriend onto the usual recovery position and dialed 911, her eyes never leaving her girlfriend's body.

"Sheperd, I thought I told you to go home," Bailey said, surprised to see Amelia Sheperd pacing into the emergency room, still into scrubs and her eyes reddened.

"Oh, hi Miranda. I'm-uh, I'm here with Arizona," she said nervously, willing her hands to stop shaking with anxiousness.

Bailey gave her a curious look, "Your girlfriend's off tonight, Sheperd. You of all people should know that."

"No, she's here. Bed ten, we just arrived. She fell down and hit her head onto the bedside table."

Bailey looked over, her heart beating incredibly fast in fear and sure enough she saw her colleague into the said bed. "Is she alright?" she asked, concerned.

Her question made the neurosurgeon watery eyes start to tear up again and the brunette whipped her cheeks with the back of her hands, trying to get a hold of herself and she cleared her throat, forcing the lump down.

"I-I, Probably. She was unconscious for at least twenty minutes but she came to a few minutes ago. Her neuro exam is completely normal and showed nothing to be afraid for now. I'm still concerned though so I'm waiting for Derek to close up his surgery so we can take her for a head CT. I want to be sure it's nothing before stitching her up."

"No other injuries?"

"Just a few bruises here and there but nothing else."

"Of course," Miranda said with a small smile and squeezed her forearm reassuringly. "Keep me updated Sheperd, okay?"

Miranda walked away and Amelia immediately felt a hand onto her shoulder, getting her attention. She turned around and found Callie, obviously disheveled and a little out of breath.

"Have you seen Arizona? She should be here by now."

"Yeah, I came in with her," Amelia frowned, did news really travel that fast into the hospital?

Callie let out a big breath of relief and a smile appeared on her lips. "Good, I was getting worried. Sofia keeps asking for her and you."

"What do you mean Sofia keeps asking for her and me?" Amelia frowned, confused and suddenly getting a little worried.

"Sofia's sick? Appendicitis?"

The neurosurgeon looked taken a back and her heart, which she had just calmed down, started racing again with dread. Honestly, it was a miracle that she hadn't fainted yet.

"She has appendicitis? Is she okay? Where is she?" she asked frantically.

"Arizona didn't tell you?" the ortho surgeon frowned deepened.

Amelia let out a sigh and distractively moved a lost lock of hair behind her ear before pointing to the bed her girlfriend was currently occupying. "No she didn't. She just woke up and she's still pretty much out of it."

"Oh my God! What happened?"

Amelia quickly repeated what she had just told Dr. Bailey and then asked about Sofia. Callie could see how anxious and worried the neurosurgeon was feeling over her daughter. The hazy in her eyes, the shaky hands she was trying so badly to control, the tensed shoulders... The Latina was suddenly hit by how important Sofia had become to the other woman. Amelia's demeanor mirrored her own, a scared mom in dear need of reassurance that her child, the thing that mattered the most in her eyes, was alright.

Callie suddenly understood that Amelia had become Sofia's mom too.

The orthopedic surgeon had agreed to stay with her ex-wife until Derek's arrival while Amelia went to see Sofia and announce her that she wouldn't be able to see her mom before surgery. They had both agreed to not tell Sofia that Arizona had had an accident unless Sofia was asking clearly why Arizona couldn't be by her side. The last time her mommy had had an accident, she had almost died and had eventually lost her leg and her daddy had died, and the time before that, her mommies had been in a car accident and Callie had almost died. Sofia didn't need the unnecessary added stress.

Amelia glanced into the room and felt like she was about to cry all over again. Wilson was sitting onto the bed next to Sofia and they were talking animatedly. Amelia had seen plenty of kids into hospitals beds before, she had even operated them but seeing her child, her own daughter into one, felt like taking a punch to the guts. Amelia couldn't even fathom how hard Sofia's complicated birth must have felt for Arizona and Callie at the time. Sofia looked suddenly very small into the baby blue bed sheets, and even though she was giggling, it did very little to appease Amelia's worry.

She let out a big breath and shook her apprehension off. Seeing her stressed would do nothing good for Sofia so the neurosurgeon forced herself to appear as cool as usual before entering the room.

"Hello there baby girl," Amelia greeted as assuredly as she could and smiled warmly at her.

"Look who's here, Sof!" Jo got up and she stopped on her way out next to Amelia. "She's a little out of it, Karev already gave her some morphine for the pain," Wilson whispered so only they could hear. "She should be going in the OR in five minutes or so."

"Thanks Wilson," Amelia sat onto the bed and she had to resist the urge to hug her daughter tight because she feared she would never be able to let her go otherwise.

"'Meeeeelia!" she grinned and Amelia could tell she was high as a kite from the pain medication.

"Hey Sof! Mama just told me you were sick. I came as soon as I could."

"Si! My appendix exploded! Like pooof," she mimed a big explosion with her hands. "It hurted a lot but Dr. Alex gave me somethin' and I feel really really fine ahora."

The neurosurgeon chuckled at the grammatical error and softly took her little hands into hers, rubbing the back tenderly.

"When is Mommy comin'?"

"Mommy can't come right now, I'm so so sorry baby," she squeezed her hands, "But she's giving you thousands of kisses, okay?"

Sofia's eyebrows furrowed but she didn't seem upset at the news. "Will she come once Dr. Alex fixes me?"

"Of course she will, sweetheart," she dropped a kiss onto her forehead and smiled reassuringly at her.

"Mama and you will be there too, right?"

"Of course. We wouldn't miss it for the world. You k-"

"It's time, Sheperd," a male voice announced.

Amelia turned around and her eyes landed onto Alex and Jo standing in the doorway.

Arizona moved for hundredth time onto the cold uncomfortable table and huffed loudly as she got up onto her elbows, looking at the reflective window she knew Amelia and Derek were hiding behind. "For the last time 'Melia, I feel totally fine! No dizziness, no dyspraxia, no visual impairment. I don't need this CT scan!"

"Arizona," Amelia's voice came through the microphone. "It's just a precaution."

"I know, but it's just going to be a waste a time! I need to be with my daughter and-"

"Sofia's okay, Robbins. She's in the OR right now between the very capable hands of Dr Karev, who you trained and Torres is probably watching his every moves for the three of you. Now, would you just lie back down so we can entertain my sister with perfect scans?"

"Fine," she huffed again, annoyed, but lay back down nonetheless.

"Thank you."

"I can't believe you asked Derek to come," the blonde complained loudly.

"You're my partner, Zona. I'm not taking any chances. Now hush, you've got two of the best neurosurgeons looking at your brain, so stop complaining and stay still."

"Yes ma'am."

Only when perfect scans appeared onto the computer was Amelia able to eventually relax. Her daughter and her partner were both safe and sound.

"This hair do is not really your style. I'm sorry," Amelia said with a small grimace after having shaved some of her girlfriend's honey blonde hair so she could access the wound better.

"At least, it's hide-able. I wouldn't want to scare Sofia or the other tiny humans."

"No way ever," the neurosurgeon said reassuringly. "You're far too angelic and warm and charming for that. No hairdo could stand in the way," she kissed her. "Okay, it's a clean cut. Four or five stitches should be enough. Do you want a local painkiller?"

"Please."

The brunette grabbed the numbing medication and sprayed some onto the wound. After having stitched her up and dressed her injury, Amelia sat next to the other woman onto the hospital bed.

"I'd like to keep you overnight for observation. Just in case," the brunette said.

"I told you I'm fine!" Arizona said, obviously annoyed and rolled her eyes.

Honestly, she had trouble being a patient since the whole leg accident and even though Amelia had assured her Sofia was fine, she still needed to see her daughter with her own two eyes, just to be sure.

"For now. You did hit your head pretty hard," she gave a hand a gentle squeeze.

"And I don't even have a concussion. I'm more than capable of making my own decision with a clear mind Amelia," Arizona protested.

"Look, baby. What are you going to do once you're released anyway? Sofia's still in surgery, we both know we're staying here. Wouldn't you rather wait in a hospital bed than in the uncomfortable couch in her room?"

Arizona sighed but her girlfriend had a point here. Moreover, she could see something else into Amelia's deep blue eyes. She could tell she was holding something back but Arizona didn't press, knowing the brunette would tell her when she would be ready.

"Fine," she agreed. "Will you at least bring me my overnight bag please? It's in my office. There are some clean clothes in there and a toothbrush. I want out of this hospital gown, people can see my butt."

"I like seeing your butt," Amelia said teasingly with a smirk.

The pediatric surgeon chuckled, for the time since she had arrived at the hospital and Amelia felt proud of herself.

"You know, I wouldn't object if you wanted to go see what Karev's doing."

"You wouldn't?" Arizona asked, her tone hopeful.

"As long as we're sitting in the gallery and that we're not standing in the OR, I don't see why not."

The blonde's hand delicately cupped her cheeks and she leaned in, placing a tender kiss onto her lips.

"Thank you, Amelia."

"Don't move, I'll go get your bag."

The blonde changed clothes quickly and transferred her body in the borrowed wheelchair Amelia had brought her. In her haste to the hospital, the neurosurgeon had forgotten to bring her prosthetic which honestly, Arizona couldn't hold against her. Her leg really hadn't been a priority. It must have been pretty scary to find her lying unconscious on the floor into a pool of her own blood like- Oh.

Ryan.

Suddenly, Amelia's overly protective and worried attitude made a lot more sense. How could she have been so stupid and not think about this earlier? She felt like a complete moron for acting so inconsiderate. She stopped wheeling before she could even get out of the room and grabbed Amelia's hand.

"Baby?"

The neurosurgeon turned around and frowned when she saw Arizona had stopped.

"Are you feeling tired? I don't mind pushing you if you want me to."

"I- no. It's not that," Arizona reassured her and then said apologetically, "I'm sorry I was being insensitive earlier. You wanted to make sure I was alright and I wouldn't let you."

"It's alright. I know you were scared about Sof', I get it."

"No. I mean, yeah I was worried sick but that doesn't make it alright to take it out on you. I," her eyes left Amelia's to focus onto their clasp hands, no sure she could handle to see the look onto the other woman's face as she talked, "I didn't think how scary it must have been for you and how it might remind you of Ryan. I should have, I'm sorry."

Feeling her girlfriend's openness and sincerity, Amelia sat down onto her thighs, straddling her, and placed a finger under her chin, making her look up. Amelia's heart was going a little crazy inside her chest for the umpteenth time tonight and a huge wave of thankfulness and love ran through her. She gently cupped her lover's face, her thumbs lovingly stroking Arizona's cheeks back and forth as her eyes bored into hers. She felt the blonde's hands land onto her hips, her hold firm yet gentle.

"It's okay, baby. We're both damaged good and as much as we want and we try to be thoughtful about each other, there comes a point when it's not manageable anymore. You're right, finding you like this brought up bad memories of Ryan but I can't expect of you to think about that or my feelings when our daughter's safety is on the other end of the line. But still, thank you for apologizing and understanding. I'm just grateful you're both okay. You and Sof are the most precious things in my world," she leaned in to kiss her affectionately.

As she pulled away, the pediatric surgeon's arms snaked around her midsection and she pulled the brunette into a protective embrace. Amelia buried her face in her neck and wrapped her own arms around the blonde' shoulders. She felt hands soothingly running up and down her back and she dropped a few kiss into the crook of her neck, hoping to bring her girlfriend some comfort.

"I love you so much," Arizona whispered to her.

"I love you too, Zona."

Once they had both calmed down, they finally pulled away. Amelia dropped one last kiss onto Arizona's lips and got up.

"Come on, let's go see our munchkin," she said with a beaming smile.

When they arrived in the gallery, they weren't surprised to find Callie already sitting there, a coffee in her hands.

"I was wondering when you guys were going to show up," she smiled sleepily and took a sip out of her beverage.

Once the surgery was done, Callie decided to stay into Sofia's room, allowing Amelia to watch over Arizona for the night without worrying too much about the little girl.

Of course, Arizona's night turned out to be restless. Not only because of the pain, but also because she was a patient. Being a patient plus knowing her daughter was hurt dug up a lot of bad memories and experiences from her past and she woke up quite a few times, on the verge of tears and her anxiety level high, a nauseous feeling uncomfortably settled in the pit of her stomach.

Meanwhile Amelia didn't get any sleep at all. Primarily because she wanted to ensure Arizona's and Sofia's well-being, physically and emotionally, but also because she was kind of scared of having a bad dream about Ryan and Christopher. Tonight really wasn't the night for it. So instead, she focused on securely holding the blonde in her arms, softly caressing her belly and lulling her back to sleep every time she woke up.

Eventually, the pediatric surgeon seemed to have fallen asleep for good after her fifth time waking up frantically and the neurosurgeon was happy to lie next to her, watching her sleep peacefully at last. She spotted her brother before he even entered the room, looking as fresh as ever even though she knew he had had a short night of sleep.

"G'morning Amy," he dropped a kiss onto her forehead. "How are Robbins and Sofia doing?"

"Fine. Arizona struggled a little to fall asleep but she isn't in pain. Sofia still hasn't woken up."

"And what about you?" he asked carefully, tiptoeing between brotherly protectiveness and meddling.

"As long as they're both alright, I'm doing perfect," she gave him a tired smile.

He could tell that his little sister had not slept, or nothing more than a quick power nap at least. She had dark circles under her eyes, her eyes were still a tad puffy from yesterday's crying, and she looked exhausted.

"I can stay with Robbins for a while if you want. I wouldn't mind. You know, so you can go check on Sofia and freshen up a little. Put a little water on your face, maybe grab a cup of coffee."

"Do I truly look this horrible?"

"Not horrible per se, but one can definitely tell you're a little tired," he tried to softly sugarcoat it and gave her an encouraging grin.

Amelia sighed, conflicted. On one hand, she really wanted to see Sofia but on the other, she didn't want Arizona to wake up alone, without her by her side. The neurosurgeon concluded that seeing her like this first thing in the morning, completely worn out, still wearing her scrubs from yesterday and with messy bed hair would probably frighten the blonde.

"You sure you wouldn't mind?"

"Of course not," he took a sit onto the hospital chair and opened one of the two patients' file he was holding. "I have some paperwork to catch on. You go and take your time."

She got up slowly, careful to not wake her lover. It had taken her so much time to fall asleep that waking her up by mistake would feel like a tragedy. Once up, the brunette stretched her limbs before kissing the pediatric surgeon's forehead and glancing at her dressing.

"You call me if anything happens, okay?"

"You've got it, Amy."

When she finally took a look at her reflection in the mirror, she understood why her brother had suggested she should freshen up. She looked like a ghost. She rapidly put some make up on, trying to hide as best as she could the bags under her eyes and once she was positive that she wouldn't scare neither Sofia nor Arizona, she headed to the cafeteria.

"Good morning Torres. I bought you some breakfast and coffee. Figured you would probably need it. I took something light for Sofia," she said quietly as she walked into her daughter's hospital room.

If Callie's appearance was anything to go by, the Latina woman probably had as much sleep as her. She was half sitting onto the chair and half leaning onto the bed, her hands clasping one of her daughter's.

"Hello Sheperd," she sat up and gratefully took the coffee the brunette was handing her. "Thank you, I need that."

"You're welcome. How is she?" she asked, her eyes transfixed onto Sofia's serene face.

"She turned a couple of times onto her wrong side and whimpered a little, even with the pain medication. Otherwise she's doing perfect. Her temp is back to normal and she has a blood work schedule for this morning."

The neurosurgeon let out a little breath of relief, happy that everything was turning out alright for once in her life. "I'm really glad."

"How is Arizona doing?"

"She's still sleeping, she-uh had some trouble falling asleep last night," the look onto Callie's features told her she was all too familiar with the reasons why, not needing Amelia to tell it out loud, "and her head is throbbing. But overall, she's fine. Well, I'm going back with Arizona, but call us as soon as the little munchkin wakes up, okay?" she smiled and tenderly planted a kiss onto Sofia's forehead.

Just as the neurosurgeon was about to walk out, the Latina's voice stopped her.

"I saw it. Last night."

"What do you mean?" she turned around and looked at the other woman inquisitively, her eyebrows furrowing.

"You and Sofia. Your… bond. Don't get me wrong, I know that you love Sofia and that she loves you back but I hadn't realized just how much. How important you had become into her life and she, in yours. But last night, I saw how anxious you were towards her, how much you genuinely cared. And it hit me that you were acting exactly like Arizona and me. She may not call you mommy or mama just yet, but that's definitely who you are to her."

Amelia could feel her eyes getting watery at the admission and blinked away the tears that were threatening to spill over. She resisted her sudden desire to tackle-hug Callie in thankfulness and she contained her ecstatic state, restraining herself from squealing. However, she couldn't stop the huge grin that appeared and ate half of her face. It felt incredibly overwhelming to hear those words coming out from Arizona's ex-wife.

"I'd do anything for that kid, you know that, right?"

"I do, now," Callie smiled, her bright dark eyes shining with honesty. "For what it's worth, I think you're an amazing step mom and I'm glad Sofia has you in her life."

"I- Thank you Callie. That means a lot to me," this time, she gently pulled the ortho surgeon into an amicable hug.

"You're welcome."

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Amelia whispered with a small smile to Arizona as soon as she saw her vibrant blue eyes fluttering open shyly.

The blonde looked around, a little disoriented but memories of last night quickly came back to her mind. She was suffering from the worst headache possible but she knew it was to be expected for the next few days. Her hands rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and she sat up. Her girlfriend was sitting onto the visitor chair, obviously drained but trying to hide it, her hand mindlessly rubbing one of her thigh with her thumb over the sheets.

"Like I slipped, banged my head onto a bedside table and then got it stitched up," Arizona replied with a grimace, her voice groggy.

The brunette could tell she was still in pain so she handed the blonde her medication and a warm cup of coffee.

"Painkiller."

The blonde gratefully gulped it down eagerly and took a sip of the hot beverage. "Thank you, baby," she leaned in and Amelia met her halfway for a good morning kiss.

"You're welcome. I went by Sofia's room this morning. She's still asleep. Her constants are fine, temp's normal and she has some blood work schedule for this morning. Callie will ring us when she wakes up."

Arizona heaved a sigh of relief and she smiled thankfully at the other woman. "Thanks for the update."

"I figured you would need it at least as bad as me," she said lightheartedly, and was happy to see Arizona's lips contort into her usual cheerful smile, the very one that never failed to brighten her day. She wished it would never leave. "I bought you a little something from the gift shop."

Arizona raised an eyebrow, not really knowing what to expect but still happily surprised. "You did?"

"Yes," Amelia replied, a glint of mischief floating in her eyes. "Close your eyes, please."

The pediatric surgeon did what she was told and she felt something soft and light delicately landing on her thighs.

"You can open them now."

Her eyes fell onto a medium sized sitting teddy bear, holding a red heart between its front paws. She was all too familiar with it, having seen plenty of parents offer it to their sick tiny human. Her heart fluttered gleefully into her chest and her smile expended from one ear to another before she could even try to stop it. She grabbed it, feeling its softness under her fingertips as she took it closer to her face to get a better look at the writing on the heart.

"Get well soon Dakota. Dakota?" Arizona giggled and looked up at her partner, confused but definitely entertained now.

"They don't sell any Arizona ones," Amelia explained with a cringe. "So I thought, state name? You know what? Now that I say it at loud, it sounds even more stupid."

Arizona's laugh filled the hospital room and, while the brunette would usually be offended that the pediatric surgeon was mocking her, she couldn't feel prouder of herself for making her laugh after the disaster that had been yesterday.

"You, huge dork," her hand snaked behind Amelia's neck and she pulled her closer in order to kiss her sweetly. "I love it. I love you 'Melia."

"I love you too, Arizona."

"Don't you mean Dakota?" she teased with a beaming smile.