Here I was, facing one of the most important decisions I was going to ever make in this world.

The decision to join ASIC earlier is NOT as important as this one!

The question of the ages…

What gun do I want?

It was a serious question, one that I was happy I had help with deciding. However, while I couldn't get the first gun-nut that came to mind, I did find someone who was a reliable substitute.

If you're wondering why I'm not saying who's helping me yet, well… It's not really the first person I would ask.

"Okay, so before we go any further, we need to go over a bit of gun safety." Said IF. "Just a few basic rules. First, always treat your gun as if it's loaded. Which basically means to keep your finger straight and off the trigger until you are ready to shoot."

This continued on for several minutes before IF would even let me really look through anything.

Once the info dump was over with, we first started out trying to get a good idea on my current fighting style.

Which, might I say, was non existent. Really, all we ended up establishing is that I'm not trained in anything, and that I have good aim. I think.

So that's why I'm looking through the gun section of this weapons shop.

"Would somebody PLEASE, get this man a gun." Said Neptune, doing her best Laurence Fishburne impression.

"Explain to me again why you're here?" I asked, picking up a M6H2 magnum, before putting it back.

"Are you kidding? I'm not going to miss this!" Said Neptune, as she watched me intently as I picked up a SA-3 Mozambique, before swapping the gun for my left hand. "This is like watching someone go through the Awakening and choosing between the Sword, Shield, and Magic Staff!"

"I'm glad to know my life reminds you so much of a video game…" I said, handing the Mozambique to Neptune. "Hold onto that for now. Also, let's leave KH out of this for now, 'kay?"

I sighed, picking up a silver handgun with a purple hue to it. It seemed to be a custom skin.

"Let's see…" I began, looking at the text engraving on the side. "Kimber Warrior… Looks like a custom skin… Looks to be slightly Hydro Dipped to get this kind of look..."

"Ooh…" Neptune put in her two scents, leaning over my shoulder.

"..." I turned around to see her kneeling on a table of sorts.

"...Can you get off the table please?" Asked IF, as she walked over to us. "So, found anything you like?"

"These." I said, picking the Mozambique up in my left hand and holding the Kimber Warrior in my right.

"Hmm… I'd say let's just start with the Kimber." Said IF. "For someone who's new to guns and their recoil, a semi-automatic styled pistol will be best to get the hang of."

"Well, can't fault that logic." I said, handing the Mozambique back to Neptune.

"Alright then… the Kimber Warrior huh? More combat based, but for what we're doing, it's probably a good fit." Said IF.

"Alright, let's get that and head out." Said Neptune, lazily putting the gun on the table she was just standing on, not bothering to find out where I had gotten it from.

"Oh, and you can pay me back with your share of the quest for today." Said IF, as she payed for my new gun.

"...Yay…" I muttered, being handed the gun, as well as a leg holster.

So we're now in the guild, and let me say, it seems to be a LOT more crowded than when I first arrived. However, once people noticed Neptune in the party, they quickly made a path for us to easily move past.

"This is… unsettling." I said.

"Well, that's one way to put it." Said Neptune.

IF chuckled. "You get used to it after a while."

"Well, let's hope that time is sooner than later…." I said, looking over as a few of the adventurer NPCs in the room were looking at me with uncertainty. "I think I even saw a guy grip his sword handle when he saw me next to you guys…"

"Well, we only just made the news public about your new predicament, and some of these adventurers seem to have only just gotten back from Quests, so they may not have seen it yet." Said IF.

"Ah… see, THAT makes sense." I said, as we walked over to the receptionist.

"Hi, we're here to sign him up as a member of the guild." Said IF, pointing to me with her thumb and she talked with the receptionist.

I was soon handed a sheet of paper and basically went to work on filling out my general information. Stuff like my name, age, blood type (Which I was quickly pulled into a back room for a blood test for), place of residence (IF had already filled that one out for me), my choice of weapon, and a few other things.

Once I had filled in all that information, I was quickly placed in front of a camera of sort, and had my photo taken.

"This isn't another mug shot that signifies I'm going back to prison, is it?" I asked IF, as Neptune laughed behind her.

"Ha ha…" IF deadpanned, as I was handed a card with said photo on it.

IF then moved me over to a fingerprint scanner. "Insert your card and press your thumb on the scanner."

I did as asked, before a ding was heard as my card slid out a bit, signaling me to grab it.

"Alright, now that we're done with that, we can get us some quests." Said IF.

I nodded, as we walked over to a nearby terminal. IF swiped her card, as her profile showed up for a second before she was shown the guild's quest list.

"During your sign in process, we found that you happen to be stuck at level 1, so we'll probably go through some of the more easier leveled quests." Said IF.

"Or, we could do some harder ones and have carry him so he gets lots of EXP." Said Neptune.

I just turned to Neptune. "Neptune, with how low of a level I got, I'll just be agroing quite literally EVERYTHING around me." I said.

"That is true Nep." Said IF. "Also, don't think you're so great as well right now, due to how low your shares are right now in comparison to earlier, your level has also dropped a considerate amount."

"Nepu!? I'm down back to level 1 as well?" Neptune asked.

"More like Level 5, but still." Said IF.

I was standing off to the side smirking at Neptune's misery.

"With that said, let's do something easier." Said IF, finding a quest she thought would be alright. "Here then. A fetch quest… collect 30 Dogoo Jelly."

"Oh god dammit…" I sighed.

"What's with that?" Asked Neptune.

"Let's just say that my… first few steps in Gamindustri were followed immediately afterwards by almost being Dogoo slime." I said. "A fate I never ever want to happen."

"Trust me when I say this Bryce, at least you don't get the perverted side of those freaking slimes." Said IF, shivering a bit.

"True enough." I said.

IF pressed a few buttons on the console, before turning to me and Neptune.

"Alright, ID cards please." She said, before I handed mine to her.

Neptune seemed to already know what to do, as she was already holding hers out.

After IF handed the Cards back to us, we set out.

Back… to the Virtua Forest.

"So you ready for this?" Neptune asked as we walked through the forest. IF said she knew of a nearby field that Dogoos tend to spawn around.

"Physically? Yes. Mentally… I could be better." I responded, pulling my Kimber Warrior out of it's holster, before sliding the magazine out, checking the ammo in said mag, before slapping the magazine back into it's magwell. I quickly looked over the gun before putting it back into it's place on my leg holster.

"You'll do fine." Said IF, before we stopped. "Here we are."

I looked out, yep, fields as far as can see. Well, more like it was a clearing, but a big one nonetheless. I can see why people would label this as a field.

"Okay, so… where are they?" I asked, grabbing my handgun as I looked around, the handgun still resting in it's holster.

"...There!" Shouted Neptune, as a large group of Dogoos came into view.

"Here we go!" I exclaimed, pulling the gun out of it's holster as I gripped it with both hands, holding it out forwards as I looked down the sights with my right eye.

Let it also be said that I was terrified of not only the Dogoos, but my own inability to actually use this thing in my hands, so let's just say that I almost let the gun drop out of my grasp when I fired the first round.

Hey, I'm Canadian, I was also 16 before coming to Gamindustri, the only 'guns' I've ever held in my life, have been Nerf guns, and that isn't anything to go by when you're dealing with ACTUAL FIREARMS.

So as I pulled the trigger, two things happened. Firstly, my arms flung themselves backwards, and I had to try and keep my balance and not fall over. Secondly, a Dogoo that was a bit too close to Neptune immediately exploded.

"Nice shot!" Said Neptune, turning to me, finding me fall flat on my ass.

"Recoil… you are a cruel mistress." I said, pulling myself up.

After regaining my composure, I quickly ran up to Neptune.

"Okay, where were we?" I asked, aiming at another Dogoo and pulling the trigger, the recoil on the gun significantly less than before.

"Gotcha!" Shouted Neptune, slashing at what I assumed to be another Dogoo behind me.

IF ran over to us. "Okay, you seem to be getting the hang of that." She said, slicing at an oncoming Dogoo with her Katars.

"Yeah, let's go with that." I said, raising my left arm up into the air as a Dogoo latched onto it. "Get off dammit!" I shouted, pointing my handgun underneath it, however still not close enough to actually shoot my arm, and pulled the trigger, killing another one.

"Okay, that's like… 3 now." I said, looking up as 4 more approached me. "4, wait… 7."

I quickly pulled the trigger four times, each shot landing around the center of the 4 approaching Dogoos, each one exploding into a pile of goop.

"Booyah!" I said, before letting my used magazine drop to the ground as I pulled a fresh mag out and slid it into the magwell.

"Hey, get off!" Shouted IF, signalling me to turn around.

As I did, I found myself staring at Neptune and IF, only, them both covered in rapidly moving slimes. Did I mention said slimes were moving around some more… personal areas.

"Bryce! Do something!" Exclaimed IF.

"I'm both disgusted and aroused and… and I can't look away." I said, my eyes unmoving as I watched the scene unfold in front of me.

"Hey! Stop staring and help us!" Shouted Neptune. "You get enough of that with that game of yours!"

"For the LAST TIME, It's NOT a porn game!" I shouted.

"Turn it on and let me play it and I'll decide that fact." Said Neptune.

"Can you two stop bickering and just help!?" Exclaimed IF.

"ALRIGHT FINE!" I shouted, running up to IF as I quickly removed the dogoos off of her.

"You couldn't have done that sooner?" Asked IF, glaring at me.

"Nope." I said, popping the P.

We turned to Neptune to see she had transformed and had dealt with the slimes.

"See, you had that." I said.

Before Purple Heart could respond, the sound of dozens of Dogoos were heard, as we all turned to see a bunch running together.

"What are they…?" I began to ask, before they started melding their bodies together. "Oh… THAT. They're doing THAT."

"Run!" Shouted IF as we turned around and ran the opposite direction, a giant Dogoo following us.

"DOGOO!" The giant Dogoo shouted.

"What the f*ck!? Since when could they do THAT!?" I asked, as we stopped and turned to it.

"Since the second game." Said Purple Heart.

"Gee, THANKS." I said sarcastically. "That's SUPER helpful right now."

"Stop talking and take this thing down!" Shouted IF, as she and Purple Heart charged the Giant Slime.

"EAT LED!" I shouted, standing back as I unloaded a magazine into him. As you can imagine, I wasn't doing much.

"Apparently eats led… Guys this isn't working!" I shouted, dropping the used magazine before reaching for a fresh one.

"I can see that!" Shouted IF, jumping back to me.

"...Got any grenades?" I asked.

"What? Why would I have grenades?" Asked IF.

"Sh*t! There went that idea…" I muttered, loading in the fresh magazine before unloading the whole thing into the giant dogoo.

"Didn't we already established that didn't work!?" Exclaimed IF, as Purple heart crashed down next to us.

"Wow, so much for the goddess of Planeptune…" I muttered, as Purple Heart just stood up, giving me a deadpanned face.

"Said goddess was still the reason for your capture." She said.

"...Okay, new plan!" I shouted, inserting a fresh magazine.

"That is?" Asked IF, as the Dogoo closed in.

"Well, we can…" I began, before stopping to think. "Um… like, group up…"

"What?" Purple Heart asked in confusion.

It took me a moment to realize where my subconscious was going with this, and when I realized it, I had a giant smirk on my face.

"AND HIT IT TILL IT DIES!" I shouted, before being smacked upside the head by IF.

"That is the worst plan ever." Said IF.

"*Cough* Ofalltime *Cough*" I coughed out.

"What was that?" Asked Purple Heart.

"Allergies." I answered.

"You're allergic to dogs?" Asked IF.

"No, I'm allergic to cats." I answered.

"Are you also lost on his logic?" Asked IF to Purple Heart.

"No guys seriously, it's a dogoo. Just because it may be massive and not be showing any signs of damage, it still has a health bar. All we need to do, is hit it in quick succession so that it can't focus on regenerating. From there, we've basically killed it." I said.

"...You really don't know how Dogoos work, do you?" Asked IF.

"Nope." I responded, before looking at the Giant Dogoo who was just sitting there waiting for us to finish our conversation. "...Hey, thanks for not killing us while we had this conversation, BTW."

The Dogoo just nodded at me with a smile on their face, before I ran full charge at it.

"FOR THE MECHONIS!" I exclaimed, charging at the Dogoo.

"Wait Bryce-! You idiot!" Shouted IF, running back to the fight, Purple Heart flying in tow.

And so, the epic battle of epic proportions began. The battle was fought for many many years, and some could say that the battle was still raging on. Or better yet, never happened to begin wi-

"We're not doing that!" Shouted IF, as she slashed at the giant Dogoo forcing it back.

"Doing what now?" I asked, aiming my gun at the wound IF had just opened up, unloading another clip into it.

The Dogoo just let out a yell of sorts, before jumping towards us.

"Move!" Shouted IF, as I jumped to the side, avoiding the attack.

I reached my hand for another magazine…

"Uh… IF, hate to tell you this now…" I began.

"What!?" She asked, following up an attack by Purple Heart.

"...I MAY be out of ammo." I said, putting my gun back in it's holster.

"Well isn't that convenient?" IF muttered, as I quickly looked up to see the dogoo jumping at IF.

"IF!" I shouted, sprinting as fast as I could, before pushing her out of the way of the attack.

However…

That left me in range of the attack.

"Bryce!" Purple Heart exclaimed as I looked up to see the sky darken before feeling a massive weight slam into my form, slamming me into the ground and inside its gelatinous body.

I tried to move, but the slime around me seemed to not want to budge. It was at this moment that I realized something.

I didn't have air.

I fought as hard as I could from my position, but there wasn't really anything I could do in my position.

I let my body go limp as my vision started to darken, the last thing I saw were the worried faces of IF and Purple Heart.

"...ce! ...ep, g…"

"St… itt… ut…ne... ull…"

"...ll...e...ke it?"

"...He's waking up!"

The first thing I noticed after passing out was that I was having some very carbonated liquid pour down my throat.

The next was me not swallowing it right, and then having the process redone.

The only difference, was that I didn't feel like a corpse anymore.

After about 3 minutes of wallowing in pain, I felt my eyes start to open, as I was blinded by the light of god.

"Oh great, I'm dead…" I said, looking up at the bright light. "Well, at least I'm in heaven, and not hell… that's a plus I guess."

"Oh good, you're awake." Said a familiar voice, as IF blocked out the light as she leaned overtop of me.

"Oh no… the face of god is that of IF's… I think I'll take hell now…" I said.

"You're not dead!" IF Said.

"Tell that to the bright light behind you!" I said back.

"That's the sun!" Said IF.

"...Oh… OH…!" I said in realization.

"You are the quite possibly the dumbest person I've ever met…" IF said.

"I'm not dumb, I just have a thing with trolling people that I don't have a good track record with." I said, sitting up. "...So… what exactly?"

"We hit it really hard." Was IF's answer.

"...Well, did we at least beat the quest?" I asked.

"Turns out, the item the giant Dogoo dropped wasn't even the one we needed for the quest! What a jip!" Said the voice of Neptune as she walked over to me.

"...So that means…?" I began to ask.

"Yep." Was all the response I got.

"...Wee woo…" Was all I said in response.

"I want to be dead right now…" I muttered, as I tiredly walked into the guild hall. We had beaten the quest, but let's just say I didn't want to be seeing any Dogoos for the rest of my time here.

"Look on the bright side, you're not in jail now." Said Neptune.

"Neptune, I wouldn't call that a 'Bright Side'. I almost DIED!" I said. "Honestly, If I did, I bet someone would have used that as a means of saying I was 'Executed' behind closed doors!"

"You're exaggerating!" Neptune said, waving her hand in a 'You're overthinking it' kind of manor.

"Sorry, near death experiences make me paranoid." I said, looking over at IF. "We good?"

"Yep, now all that's left is to return to the Basilicom and let Histoire know how your first quest went." Said IF.

"...Neptune, make my sacrifice a lot more heroic sounding than it actually was." I said.

"Why can't you do that?" Asked Neptune.

"Two reasons. One, I can't bullshit to save my life, I smile too much. It's obvious when I'm lying." I began.

"What's the other?" Asked IF.

"Two…" I began, before flopping to the floor, as I passed out from exhaustion.

"Bryce? Bryce!? BRYCEEEEEEE!" Neptune shouted, before everything went dark.