The squat little rectangle on wheels had an appendage that looked like a combination between a cigarette lighter and a taser. Thinking of the pain behind his ear and remembering a faint crackle before he blacked out, Mac dropped back a step.
The device rolled toward him a few inches, then backed up and made a soft beeping noise. Mac frowned. "Well, you don't sound dangerous, I guess."
It advanced toward him again and made a little whirring sound that seemed like an agreement.
Mac's apprehension melted and he felt his lips twist into a smile. "I just picked up my own R2 unit and Jack's not here to see it. He's gonna be pissed."
The small digital display on top flashed the number five. "Five? Five what?" Mac asked, then shook his head.
It's not like this thing could understand him. But like it had understood, it rolled toward him, then away, then toward him again, and Mac got the impression that it was nodding at him. Then it made a couple or urgent beeping noises, and the number five flashed a few more times.
"Sorry little guy, I don't know what you …" He stopped. "Wait … Are you Five?"
The series of enthusiastic beeps that followed told Mac two things very clearly. One, this little box would answer to the name Five. And two, it definitely understood what he was saying to it.
"Wow. That kind of voice recognition software is really advanced. Somebody pretty smart programmed you."
Five agreed again. Mac stepped completely clear of the closet he'd been shut in. Ow. He'd definitely been dragged here. And maybe run into some stuff. He frowned at Five. "Did you put me in there?"
"No waaaaay," scrolled across the display screen and Mac gave a little snort of laughter. So whoever programmed this little guy wasn't just smart as hell, they had a sense of humor, too.
"I'm guessing you didn't zap me either, huh?"
It made a noise that almost sounded offended and Mac found himself chuckling again. He'd better not let Jack catch him chatting with R2-D5 like this or the Star Wars references would never stop. It then flashed the universal first aid symbol several times on its screen, the ubiquitous little red cross.
"Oh, no, not you, too," Mac chuckled. "I'm fine, thanks. Well … I'm annoyed and I need to find my partner and figure out what's going on down here. But other than that, I'm good."
A digital thumbs up blinked on the display. Another series of beeps combined with a flashing arrow signaled a clear message of "Follow me."
"Alright, Five. Lead the way."
The robot spun on its multidirectional castors and rolled across what appeared to be a storage room for old files and spare parts. It was poorly lit and dusty but that didn't seem to slow Five down.
Mac peered around at the boxes and stacks in the dim cavernous room. "Hey, Five, hang on."
The little bot stopped and turned around, almost like it was watching what he was doing. Mac was too busy to pay much attention, as he was pulling items out of the component boxes and talking to himself. Well, he was kind of talking to Jack. Mac had discovered over the course of recent missions that despite getting annoyed by Jack's incessant questions, he sort of found that explaining things to his partner helped him think as his plans evolved on the fly.
After a while, Five made an inquisitive series of beeps. "Just a minute, Five. I'm almost done." Some more beeping. "I'm making something to keep myself from getting zapped again."
Five extended a slender arm from its side and the small round tip sparked unmistakably.
"You did zap me!" Mac said in an accusatory voice that he probably would have found funny if he'd heard someone else using it on a squat little beeping box. Five made a slight whirring sound and rolled back away from Mac. "No? You're offering to zap someone else?"
An affirmative sound. Then the arm disappeared into Five's body again.
"I appreciate that, Five," Mac said, but still eyed the little machine warily. He filled his pockets with his thrown together (I really hope these work or that I don't need them) defenses. "Let's go … um … wherever you were going to take me."
Five rolled up to a wall panel and extended another appendage from inside its main box and plugged it into the keyhole beneath a keypad. A hidden door slid silently to the side. Mac hesitated for a second. He glanced up and down the low ceilinged hall and finding it empty, followed Five a second later.
Mac didn't have to duck, but only barely. He followed the robot for what felt like forever. He was thinking to himself that if Jack was wandering around down here, he must be getting a crick in his neck from crouching down.
Almost like the thought summoned him, Mac heard a thud and a mumbled curse from around the corner up ahead of them. "Jack?" He called softly.
"Mac?" Jack answered in his characteristic totally not soft voice. Then Mac heard another voice, a very pretty one, ask, "Your partner?"
Mac and Five rounded the corner. Mac skidded to a stop and put his hands up. A woman was leveling a gun right at his chest. "Whoa!" he began.
Jack stepped forward and threw her a very irritated glare. "Put that damned thing away. I told you that was Mac."
As she slipped the weapon into one of the pockets on her crisp lab coat, Mac lowered his hands with a grin. "Gotta tell you, pal, hearing you tell someone to put a gun away is almost funny."
Jack closed the distance between them, still frowning, ignoring the little robot who almost tripped him up rolling toward the scientist at his back. He was aware of her very pleased exclamation of, "Five!" and of the fact that talking and typing on the keypad on the side of the robots head was happening, but mostly he was caught up on what the hell must have been happening with his partner in the last hour or so.
"Jesus, kid, what the hell happened to you?"
Mac shrugged. "I wish I could remember." Jack's frown deepened. "I was in the side tunnel, almost crawling along because it narrowed down pretty fast and something zapped me behind the ear."
"Zapped you?"
"Yeah, it's fine." Seeing that his assurance wasn't even semi-adequate he turned his head and brushed his slightly shaggy hair out of the way. "See, it's …"
"It looks like someone held a lit cigar to your head, kid."
Mac shrugged again. "Kinda feels like it, too. But I think the results are the least of our worries. Because I'm pretty sure one of that little guys siblings is responsible. And is clearly okay with violating Asimov's Laws of Robotics."
"Pretty sure you're right," the woman said, stepping toward him and extending a hand. "Dr. Alice Stomski."
"MacGyver." He shook the offered hand, but didn't elaborate when she cocked an eyebrow at him. He was familiar with the expression. At least she didn't follow it up with a comment about mononyms, he thought. "I take it Five belongs to you, Dr. Stomski?"
"He does." Mac didn't miss the affectionate he in her reply. Like the little robot was a favorite pet. "And feel free to call me Alice, since it seems like we may be in the middle of the robopacalypse together."
Mac grinned and raised his eyebrows at Jack. She caught the expression and he tried to cover it by clearing his throat. "That you programmed apparently, if that little guy belongs to you."
"Well, you're half right," she said with a sigh.
"Come again?"
"This little guy does belong to me. And actually I did the original programming on all 14 of the lab bots we developed. But Eric must've reprogrammed at least some of them if one of them injured you. Which I've been worried about for a while."
"Eric?" Jack asked. Mac's eyebrows lifted again, but since Alice had turned to answer Jack she missed him subtly teasing his partner about any compatibility or competition.
"One of the other scientists here."
"Oh."
"And my ex husband."
Mac didn't miss Jack's half smirk. She did say ex.
"May I have a look at where you were …" She searched back through their conversation for his phrasing. "Zapped?"
Mac's eyes rolled involuntarily. "I guess."
He bent down slightly so she could see the burn behind his ear. "What have you been worried about?" Mac asked. "Just him reprogramming?"
"At first." She sighed. "I think 8 must have done this." Her tone was clipped, irritated.
Mac straightened back up. "You can tell which bot jumped me just by looking at my head?"
She was already working on the keypad on the side of Five again. "I can guess. 8 isn't an independent bot, more of a drone. Meaning Eric was probably piloting the bot remotely. Because I don't think one of the autonomous units could have been reprogrammed thoroughly enough to hurt a human."
Jack's frown was back in place. "Why would he want to do that? Either thing?"
Five started rolling away down the hall and Dr. Stomski started off right behind him. Mac and Jack fell quickly into step with Alice. "What happened with Eric?" Mac prodded gently.
"Well, both our proposals made it to the most recent final round with the board for funding. But mine was fully funded and his wasn't."
"And that led him to start the robopocalypse?" Jack asked.
"No. He wasn't really interested in my boys before."
"Alice?" Mac prompted. "What was his project?"
She frowned, but not at him. "He was looking into a new method of modifying viruses to improve vaccine research."
"Modifying viruses?" Jack asked, his face the picture of blank horror.
Mac sighed. "And let me guess, you were down here in the maintenance area to begin with because something's gone missing?"
She nodded. "Several somethings."
Mac chewed his lip. "Okay. I think I have an idea, but I'm gonna need a few things."
"You gonna tell me you know how to stop the zombie apocalypse and the robopacalypse all at once?" Jack asked, daring to feel hopeful. He even flashed a grin at Alice when she arched an eyebrow at his phrasing.
Mac grinned. "I already have the robopacalypse in the bag. Need a few items to keep us out of World War Z."
Alice took out a large set of keys from the pocket of her lab coat. "What do you need?"