Maria was annoyed, frustrated, and hungry, and each one of these unpleasant feelings had to do with one pretentious ass named Georg von Trapp.
In retrospect, Maria didn't have to skip breakfast. The wise thing would have been to go downstairs and face Georg head on instead of dragging the tension out longer than necessary. She wouldn't even have to acknowledge the events of the previous night with the children around. However, she just couldn't bring herself to face him. Not after the way he had acted.
The events had replayed over in her head like a bad movie for most of the night, concluding in little to no sleep for Maria as she tossed and turned over Georg's erratic and frankly, uncalled for behaviour. Georg had acted in an entirely irrational manor that had left everyone at the table, especially Maria, uncomfortable beyond measure.
She had tried to justify it in her head after she had left the table, but she couldn't come up with any plausible reason for his brash actions. The way he had spoken about her as if she were a child in front of all those people – it was embarrassing and degrading. He hadn't even asked for her opinion in the matter!
No, she wouldn't have gone out with Elias anyhow, but the fact that Georg had stripped her of having any say in the matter was infuriating. She had thought that there was a mutual level of respect and trust that had developed between them, but obviously she had been wrong. If last night had been Georg's idea of respect for Maria, he was out of his mind.
Maria had barely slept. She could only think about Georg's harsh tone and the disdain clear in his eyes. She hadn't experienced Georg in such a state since he had come home from Vienna. She thought they were past all of that. Clearly, she was wrong.
She knew she would have to face him eventually, but she wasn't even sure what she would say to him. She was still incredibly angry about the way he had treated, not only her, but Elias as well. Though she hadn't known the man too long, he was pleasant and kind to Maria. She saw no need for Georg to act in such a hostile manner towards Elias.
She had been hiding out in the children's study room for a good portion of the morning. She had received some wary eyes and questions about why she hadn't attended breakfast, but she had brushed them off quickly, claiming she had a headache and needed to lie down for a while. Most of the children had taken that answer easily, but Liesl and Brigitta had fixed her with curious stares, the doubt clear in their eyes.
She would rather not explain to the children the real reason. For one, it was still a fresh wound for Maria. And for another, she didn't want the children to see their father in a negative light. Though, they were quite upset that he hadn't come to say goodnight to them like he had promised. That was another curious detail to Maria. Georg had been going in to say goodnight to his children practically every night for weeks, and yet, last night he failed to do so.
She briefly wondered if something had happened. He had been most disagreeable over the past week, but Maria had assumed it had something to do with the dinner party due to the way his features always darkened when someone mentioned it. But maybe there was something deeper. She couldn't help but feel wildly curious at what could have put him in such a dismal mood.
A thought that had crossed her mind was that perhaps Georg had a nasty history with Elias, but Elias seemed pleasant enough to Georg. There seemed to be no bitterness or hostility in Elias when he spoke to Georg. It was only Georg who had spoken in tones of nastiness, which Maria hadn't thought was much like Georg at all. He could be severe at times, but he was never outright rude when he could help it. He typically kept an aura of professionalism and politeness about him.
She knew Georg was truly a good man. It was obvious in the way he made every effort to be kind to her, despite their rocky start. It was also obvious in the way he interacted with his children. Though having been nearly estranged from them for five years, he had put every effort into rekindling his broken relationship with them.
Maria knew that once someone was able to get past Georg's stoic mask, his nature was kind, caring, intelligent, and most of all, honourable. Having gotten to know Georg better than she had ever expected to over the past weeks, she knew just how sweet natured he could be under his stony exterior. It only made his behaviour at the dinner party more bizarre.
She tried to push the thoughts of the complexity of the man that was Georg away as she watched the children work studiously on their various assignments. The more she dwelled on the situation, the more her brain felt as if it were about to combust. Yet, her brain was stuck on his actions. He perplexed her to no end. She briefly thought that if it had been anyone else who had acted in such a manner, it might have hurt a little less and she couldn't quite figure out why that was. Why did it cut so much deeper when it was he who held the knife?
A buzz caught her attention. She looked down at the pile of the children's phones, expecting one of them to have been lit up with a notification. They all remained on a black screen. She looked further to her left to see that it was, in fact, her own phone that had buzzed.
She picked it up, doubting it would be anything of significance. An email perhaps. Her eyes widened as she saw she had a message from the very man she had just been trying to decipher.
Captain: Could you come down to my study for a moment? We need to talk. [Sent at 10:54 a.m.]
Maria read the message over again, dread filling her heart. A hundred different thoughts flew through her mind. What did he want to talk about? Obviously, she knew the basics of the conversation he was likely to initiate, but was he going to apologize? Was he going to pick a fight? Was he going to fire her? There were several possibilities that came to the forefront of her mind.
At this point, Maria had no idea where his mind was at. She wasn't sure if he was upset about the situation or if he felt any remorse. Georg's moods could be unpredictable. She knew she was still angry about the way he had treated her, and about the way he had spoken for her without any regard for her feelings. She felt like she was too angry, too emotionally volatile to speak to him.
To Captain: I'm with the children. Maybe later? [Sent at 10:58 a.m.]
She tried to remain concise and brief. She didn't want her frustration with him seeping through her words. She needed space and time to cool down. She needed to figure out what she was going to say to him. She wanted to be able to calmly inform him that how he had acted had both hurt and upset her. She wanted them to have a civil conversation about it, but she feared that speaking to him right then could lead to a conversation that was anything but civil.
When another buzz came from her phone within a moment of putting it down, she knew she wasn't likely to be getting the space she required.
Captain: I'd rather we do it now. Please. It won't take long. [Sent at 10:59 a.m.]
Maria exhaled in a long shaky breath. She could ignore the message entirely and claim her phone died or that one of the children needed her help with something, but Maria had never been a very good liar, and she knew Georg would be able to see right through her, as he seemed to have a talent for it. She supposed that if he wanted to talk right then, it would be easiest to just get it over with. There was no point in refusing him if he was already angry. She certainly didn't want to make the situation worse.
"Children, I'm just going to step out and talk to your father. I should be back soon," Maria said. Seven pairs of eyes looked up at her. A couple of the children nodded, while a couple fixed her with skeptical eyes. The children were incredibly perceptive, it would seem. It was like they knew something wasn't quite right.
"Do you have to go?" Gretl asked. Maria gave the young girl a weak smile.
"I do. But I'll be back before you know it," she told her. "If it takes a little longer than originally planned, you are free to stop working at eleven-thirty, as usual. Liesl, you're in charge."
Liesl nodded in Maria's direction but kept her quizzical gaze on Maria. Maria turned to walk out, hoping it would only be a few short moments until she returned.
She made her way down the stairs, fighting to keep her breathing at a steady rate. Her heart pounded furiously in her chest with equal parts of anxiety and anger. She began to picture the events from the night before all over again, making her feel the frustration boil in her blood once again. She wasn't sure what to expect when she arrived at Georg's study, and that made her all the more uneasy.
She reached the study and knocked lightly against the door, willing her heart to stop beating so radically. She needed to have a clear mind while speaking to Georg. She needed to keep things brief and civil, for his benefit, and her own.
"Come in," she heard the rich tone of his voice call. With a quivering hand, she gripped the knob of the door and opened it to reveal Georg sitting at his desk with reading glasses perched on the tip of his nose as he hunched over some paperwork. She noticed that he had traded in his typical polo for a navy-blue jumper, but she supposed given the cool temperature of the day, it was a wise choice. He finished writing something on one of the pages in front of him and looked up at her.
"Oh, Maria. I wasn't entirely sure you would come. Please, come in," he said with a small smile on his face. She watched as he removed the reading glasses from his face and set them down atop the paperwork. Maria slowly entered the room, closing the door with trembling hands. He certainly didn't seem to be upset, which was more than she could say for herself.
Georg stood from his seat and moved around his desk, settling on leaning against the front of it. He crossed his arms over his chest and watched her carefully. Maria felt uncomfortable under his scrutiny given that she had no real idea of what he wanted to say to her. She kept her eyes pointed more so at his chest than his face. It was easier that way. The softness of his gaze on her made her feel, not only unhinged, but almost guilty for even being angry with him.
"Would you like to take a seat?" he asked, inclining his head towards one of the armchairs that sat in front of his desk. Maria felt her head shake in response.
"You said this would be rather quick," she said. She cursed her voice for trembling. The funny thing was, it wasn't trembling from fear as Georg might think, but rather from pent up anger that had manifested its way into her veins as she had made the trip down to his study.
"Yes, I suppose I did say that," he replied, a small frown falling on his lips. "I assume you know why I asked you down here?"
"I have an idea," she answered. She saw the fingers of his one hand fidget against the material of his jumper, a distinct sign of his discomfort, she had learned.
"I, uh, think I ought to apologize for what happened last night," he started. His jaw was hard set and his eyes shifted from her face to one of his bookshelves.
"Okay," she said in a small voice. For a moment, she watched Georg struggle with himself as he opened his mouth and then closed it again repeatedly. She wondered how often he issued sincere apologies, as he seemed to struggle with doing so.
"I acted most abominably last night. I am very sorry for causing you any discomfort. That wasn't my intention," he told her. She could see his eyes were genuine as he spoke, but Maria wasn't sure she was ready to accept his apology. He had made her feel small and unappreciated, and that didn't sit well with her. But she refrained from speaking her mind. She didn't want to fight with him. She didn't have the energy.
"Was that all?" she asked, surprised at the iciness of her tone. Georg studied her face carefully, his eyes scanning over her as if trying to guess what exactly she was feeling in the moment. She nearly rolled her eyes. She knew the expression she wore likely conveyed her annoyance perfectly.
"I suppose. I mean, I-," Maria didn't let him continue.
"Then I should get back to the children," she said. She turned towards the door and gripped the door handle.
"Maria, wait," the urgency in his voice made her pause. She knew she shouldn't stay. She knew the best course of action would be to walk right out the door and leave before she said something that she might later regret. But her feet stayed planted to the floor. A part of her was curious to how he would justify his actions in order to dispel her own uncertainties. A part of her wasn't sure she could just leave him. She found herself bound to the room like a magnet was holding her in place.
"You understand why I did it, don't you?" he asked quietly. Maria let out a huff of air as she turned back to face him. He had the audacity to stand there and look bewildered by the frustration that had manifested its way into her features.
"Which part are you talking about? Shaming Elias or treating me like one of your children?" she asked. She very nearly clapped her hand over her mouth for speaking so brashly. She knew she could be outspoken even on her best days, but when something caused her temper to flare up, the filter in her mind seemed to fly out the window.
"I didn't treat you like one of my children. Is that what you think happened?" he asked, squinting in her direction. Maria bit back a frustrated sigh. Did he really not understand how belittling his actions were?
"It certainly seemed like it. You made the decision for me like you were my father," she said, suddenly not having much of a care about how outspoken she was. If he insisted on having the conversation right there and right then, she might as well make her feelings clear. Georg's eyebrows shot up at her statement and his features deepened in a frown.
"So, you wanted to go with him?" he asked. She could detect the bitter note in his voice, and she was a little taken back by it. What did he have against Elias? More importantly, why did that matter now? She certainly wouldn't be seeing the man ever again after the way Georg had spoken to him.
"I would have liked to make the decision for myself," she replied, straining to keep her voice neutral. Georg narrowed his eyes and uncrossed his arms, gripping the edge of the desk with his hands. She could see his knuckles turning white in his grip.
"That's not what I asked," he said, his voice dangerously low. Maria fought the urge to roll her eyes as he placed his mask of authority back on. She really thought they were past this.
"I don't feel like I should have to answer that," she said evenly as she could muster. She wished she had just walked out of the door when she had the chance. Georg was fixing her with a menacing stare that she didn't particularly care for. She was not in the wrong, and she was truly tempted to remind him of that fact.
"I'll take that as a yes," he muttered, pushing himself off the desk and taking a few tentative steps towards her. The was a glint in his eye that reminded Maria of a hot flame, ready to burn everything in its path. "Do you know what kind of man he is?"
Maria made no move to answer. She really didn't know what to say to him. She didn't truthfully know Elias well enough to give an accurate description of his character. Judging by the look in Georg's eyes, the question was more of a rhetorical one anyways.
"I'll tell you. He's the kind of man who would have taken you out for drinks until you were just tipsy enough for his liking. He would have buttered you up with compliments for most of the night. He would have laid on a lot of charm and made you feel special just so he could get you somewhere secluded. I won't go into detail, but you can imagine what he would do next," he spat bitterly. He wasn't even looking at her anymore, but rather at a point on one of his bookshelves.
Maria bit back a sarcastic laugh as she reflected on the similarity of the depiction Georg had set out to another night.
"How ironic," she murmured. She thought she had said it under her breath, but Georg's head snapped up in her direction, his eyes wide.
"What do you mean?" he asked. Maria nearly winced at his complete lack of understanding. Was he really that oblivious?
"I mean you're being a hypocrite," she stated plainly, not even attempting to hold back her anger anymore. If he wanted an argument, she would give him one.
"I am not," he said with an exasperated sigh. Maria did let out a bitter laugh at that.
"You did the exact same thing at that nightclub all those months ago," Maria stated. Georg fixed her with a puzzled look.
"I thought we agreed to put that behind us," he said. She was once again tempted to roll her eyes. His arrogance could be exhausting.
"We did. Until you started talking about all the 'wrongs' that Elias might have committed against me. You did the same thing to me," she said quietly. She knew she was crossing a line and playing with his fiery temper. Georg had a short temper; Maria knew that quite well. From the times she had seen Max call him out on his brooding tendencies and his occasional lack of manners, she knew that he didn't take kindly to being exposed to his less than gentlemanly behaviour.
"It's not the same thing," Georg said. In the moment, he reminded her of a small child defending himself against the reprimanding of his parents.
"Yes, it is," she replied.
"He would have left you the next morning without a trace," he replied bitterly, stalking closer to her. Maria scoffed.
"And you wouldn't have?" she asked. She watched his body tense up at the question. They both knew the answer. As noble as Georg could be, she knew if things had gone further that night, he would have been anything but honorable the next morning.
"The point is," he said, his tone softening a little in defeat as he evaded Maria's question, "I know I acted irrationally last night. I wanted to apologize, but more importantly, I wanted to make sure that we were okay."
Maria eyed him carefully. He appeared to be genuine. His eyes were clear and earnest, and he only showed remorse in his features. While she appreciated his apology, she still found herself angry. She was angry that he had belittled her, angry that he had publicly humiliated her, angry that he had taken her decision away from her. She felt as if there was so much that she still didn't know about why he had acted in such a manner, and it frustrated her.
She looked away from him entirely and focused on one of the windows along the back wall of his study. She took a few steps past him to get closer to the window, stopping next to his desk. She folded her arms across her chest as she took in the grey clouds rolling over the garden. She was sure there was going to be a great, big, thundering storm later in the day.
She was uncertain by her own feelings. While she was frustrated by his actions and desperately wanted to understand why he had done what he had, she felt herself desperate to forgive him. She couldn't quite explain it to herself. She didn't like arguing with Georg. In fact, it was nearly unbearable. She was split between wanting to forgive him to make things normal between them and wanting answers to understand him.
She felt the anger taper off bit by bit as she watched the sky darken over the lake in front of her. It wasn't in her nature to be angry for long. Though her temper could be short, she never held a grudge. Even as the anger faded, she still had questions, born more out of a desire to understand him than anything else.
"Why?" she asked quietly. From his silence, she wasn't even sure he had heard her. She opened her mouth to ask again, but he was already speaking.
"Why what?" she heard him ask from somewhere behind her. She was sure he had taken a few steps closer to her from the proximity of his voice.
"Why did you do it?" she asked. There was more silence between the two of them as he seemed to contemplate an answer. She could vaguely hear a small sigh escape his lips.
"I told you, Elias is not a good man, and-," she cut him off. She didn't want to hear the same explanation over again. She knew that he was aware of what she was asking, however, he seemed hellbent on not giving her a straight answer.
"I understand that you believe he is a bad man. I just don't understand why you said such nasty things to him or why you had to treat me like a child in front of all those people," she said. She watched as lightening struck from somewhere in the distance, far across the lake.
"I hope you know that I don't think of you as a child," he said softly. Maria shook her head.
"That's not what I asked," she said, echoing his words from earlier. Silence fell between them once again, and Maria could hear the distant roll of thunder as she waited for his answer with bated breath.
"Truthfully, I don't know. I didn't want to see him hurt you," he said. Maria stayed quiet. She didn't quite know what to say. A part of her heart swelled at the implication that he had truly been concerned about her well being, but she still felt uneasy about the situation. They were friends, yes, but did that grant him a power over her decisions? If he had been concerned, did he really have to go about it like he had? Or was he concerned by her naivety and ultimately believed that she was incapable of making her own decisions?
She felt like she didn't have all the answers. But she didn't want to poke and prod at him about his actions. She had already been outspoken enough in her displeasure of how he conducted himself. But she felt at a loss with Georg. He could be sweet and kind when he wanted to, but there were other times where the stone-cold mask seemed to seep through. She couldn't quite figure him out.
She didn't say a word. She let the silence fall over them in such great capacity that she was sure if a pin dropped, it would sound something akin to a gun going off.
"Maria?" she heard him speak several minutes later. She didn't respond right away as she thought about what she wanted to say to him. Her nerves had calmed completely from being angry to being downright confused as she contemplated the situation.
"I can take care of myself, you know. I'm not as incapable as you think me to be," she said softly.
"I know you can. I've told you, I don't think you're a child," he replied in a gentle tone. She could hear the remorse seep through his tone. She knew he was sorry, but she had difficulty accepting an apology without knowing more.
"I just don't understand why you went about it like that. It was embarrassing," she said so softly that it was barely a whisper. Again, she was almost sure he hadn't heard her, but his sharp little intake of breath let her know that he had.
"I know. I want to make things right, Maria, I really do. I don't know what came over me, really. I don't think the drinking helped. I've never thought highly of Elias. I hear about a different scandal involving him nearly every week. And then he asked you to go for drinks, and I knew where he was heading with it and I just couldn't bear to see him do that to you," he rambled. Maria was surprised at his tangent. She had never heard Georg ramble, and was that nervousness she detected in his voice? Something seemed very off about the man she was in a room with.
Maria slowly turned in his direction. He was standing a couple feet behind her as the fingers of his left hand tapped away at his leg. He watched her with a sort of tender curiosity, scanning her face to read her emotions. He seemed agitated and rather unsure of himself. Maria only studied him. She wasn't really sure what to say at such and open admission.
He couldn't bear to see Elias do that to her? What could that mean? Her heart rate sped up at the implications and she swallowed hard. His eyes watched her carefully. There was something so stripped back and bare about the way he looked at her. Her heart thundered in her chest as she took in his gaze. The air in the room seemed to have shifted in that moment dispelling the anger and hurt to something raw and tender. There was a new electric charge that hadn't been there before, fueled by the way he watched her with a spark in his eyes that she didn't quite recognize.
She knew she should say something to end the silence between them, but the words weren't coming to mind. All she could focus on was the way his eyes seemed to be drowning her in their fiery blue depths. It was unnerving, the way he gazed at her, and the flutter in her stomach gave her an uneasiness unlike anything else.
"I, uh, appreciate your concern," she started unsteadily. She vaguely remembered through the haze that began to cloud over her thoughts that she was there to stand her ground and let him know that his actions had been unnecessary. "But it wasn't necessary. I could have taken care of myself."
She was surprised when Georg let out a dry laugh.
"I know that. I know you are perfectly capable of handling yourself. You made it very clear the day you snapped back at me when I returned to Vienna. I had no doubts that you could take care of yourself with Elias, but I wasn't willing to take the chance that that he actually acted like a gentleman for once in his life. Is it so outrageous that someone may actually care about you and give a damn about what happens to you?" he asked, his voice laced with subdued frustration.
Maria's mouth fell open slightly at his declaration. She supposed it had seemed a little outrageous in her mind. Since her parents had died, Maria had felt rather alone in the world, and she depended upon only herself. Her uncle had never showed her much kindness when she went to live with him, and so, she got used to the idea of being fiercely independent. Even at school, she had believed she would be the only person looking out for herself. She had friends, yes, but she had come to the conclusion long ago that she was the only one she should depend upon. She had gotten used to being on her own, so much so that Georg's declaration of caring for her seemed absurd.
Maria couldn't move, nor could she speak. She was at a loss for words. Anything she could think of saying didn't seem right. His eyes were so earnest that Maria desperately wanted to look away but found difficulty in doing so. His eyes were magnetic as he gazed at her with a tender care that Maria wasn't sure she had ever known.
When Georg took a step closer to her, she felt the anxiety rise in her chest. His proximity was unnerving. The deep heaves of his chest were unnerving. His whole presence in the electricity of the room threatened to undo Maria as she watched him approach her.
"You really don't understand just how much of an impact you've had on our lives, do you?" he asked, his voice dangerously low. He was near enough to her that his chest nearly touched hers. She felt her breath catch in her throat as he looked down at her, his eyes piercing into her soul. She swallowed hard, her throat suddenly feeling unbearably dry. There was something new and dangerous burning in his eyes. Maria couldn't be sure where exactly he was going with this, or if she ever wanted to find out.
"We all care about you," he started, his voice velvety and smooth. Maria felt the rest of the world grow smaller until it was only him and his voice that her brain was attuned to. "The children love you. Mrs. Schmidt adores you. Max, as silly as he is, thinks very highly of you."
Maria's heart was in her throat. She could feel the whispers of his breath on her face. She could smell his earthy cologne radiating off him, and she felt lightheaded at the scent. He was too close to her for any coherent thoughts to enter her mind as she began to feel an intoxicating haze come over her at his proximity.
"And you?" she choked out. She could vaguely hear her voice waver above the pounding of her heart in her ears.
She saw a small smile form on Georg's lips. He dipped his head down closer to her own. His nose nearly grazed her own. She felt her heart race wildly in her chest. A small voice told her she needed to back away and leave the room. She knew that whatever he was doing was about to be trouble. But between the warm sensation of his breath against her face, and the intoxicating scent of his cologne, her feet stayed planted to the ground in front of him.
She watched as his eyes darted down to her lips and back up to her eyes. He moved in a fraction, and Maria was sure he was going to kiss her, but he stopped a couple inches from her lips. He was so close that she could practically taste him. Her heart was beating so fast she was afraid it might just burst out of her chest. On their own accord, her eyes drifted shut, focusing on the feel of his presence without him actually touching her.
"I think you know the answer," he whispered.
Maria later wouldn't be able to recall who closed the gap as their lips met. She was instantly struck by how soft his lips were as they moved gently against her own. She felt the warmth of his palm encompass her cheek as he kissed her tenderly.
Her mind briefly told her that they needed to stop, but she had forgotten how nice he felt against her. She told herself that she would let herself have a minute. He was so warm and inviting, surely it wouldn't do much more damage if she let herself enjoy it for a moment, right?
Her hands slid up his chest, twining behind his neck as she pulled him ever so slightly closer to her. She could feel his chest press against her own as he moved fully into her space. His free hand came to rest on her waist, holding her gently as if she was made of glass and he was fearful of breaking her. Maria's heart was surely pulsing at a dangerous speed with the feel of his mouth on hers, but she couldn't bring herself to break away from him.
She could sense a bit of hesitation in the way he kept the kiss tender and slow. He took his time caressing her lips with his own as if trying to convey everything he felt in the moment. Maria was overwhelmed by his tenderness. When they had kissed at the nightclub, it had been tender and sweet in the beginning, but it was nothing compared to the way he held her now. It was like he was punctuating just how much he cared about her through each press of his mouth.
Maria became acutely aware of how she felt in the moment. She remembered the moment of panic she had in the gazebo only a week ago when she contemplated on the fear of feeling more than just friendship for Georg. She had buried it, determined to only think of him as a friend and nothing more. That had gone well, she briefly thought as Georg moved his lips over her own. It seemed impossible to keep it buried now. And what was more, he seemed to be in the same predicament.
She wondered how they had gotten to where they were. She had gone to his study with the expectation of an argument. And they had argued, but how had it gone from arguing to something else completely? She hadn't expected his declaration of caring for her, nor had she expected the spark in his eye when he looked at her. She was confused, and yet, everything made perfect sense when she was wrapped up in his embrace. She had never known anything like it.
Her hands moved into his hair, feeling the soft strands thread between her fingers. She heard a strangled moan come from the back of his throat as he gripped her a little tighter and pulled her more firmly against him. He deepened the kiss, moving his lips more firmly against her. All thoughts were washed away from her mind as she felt his tongue gently trace her bottom lip. Unlike several months ago, she didn't hesitate. She parted her lips and revelled in the sweet taste of his mouth against her own. The breath was nearly robbed from her lungs as his tongue met hers.
Both of his hands were now situated on her waist, pulling her as close as he could possibly get her. Maria's hands left his hair, sliding down to his chest, grabbing fistfuls of his jumper. To be kissing him in the middle of his study was a scenario Maria had never considered. She had believed it wrong to even let the thought cross her mind. But now, with him pressed against her, and his mouth consuming her every breath, there wasn't anything but him.
They moved in sync against each other. With every passing minute, the kiss seemed to ramp up in intensity. He was practically devouring her, and the strange thing was that she didn't seem to mind. She was lost in his scent, in the way he moved against her in perfect harmony, in the way he felt beneath her hands. He was both hard and soft to the touch and Maria could scarcely get enough of feeling him. As he wrapped both arms around her back and held her against him, she let herself live in bliss for a moment. She let herself focus on the way his fingers stroked tenderly at her back, while the ferocity of his mouth contrasted the touch. For a moment, it was heavenly.
It wasn't long before the alarm bells began to sound in her mind. While she had been willing to ignore the impropriety of the situation before, the little nagging voice in the back of her mind became louder with the more heated things became. Thoughts began to fly through her all at once. They couldn't be doing this. She was the governess! It seemed so wrong to be kissing her employer in the middle of his study in broad daylight. And the children! She had promised she would have been back by now. Surely it was getting close to lunch.
She stilled her movements and felt him slow down. Flattening her hands against his chest, she pushed him back ever so slightly. She was breathing hard, her chest heaving against his own as their soft pants mingled in the air. Maria's eyes stayed firmly on Georg's shoulder as her breathing steadied. She didn't trust herself to look into his eyes just yet. When her breathing normalized, she knew she had to say something.
"Georg, I-," she started, pausing at the unfamiliarity of his given name on her tongue. It seemed almost pointless to refer to him as 'Captain' now. She couldn't find the words to complete the sentence. She began to compile a list of reasons to let him know that what they were doing was wrong.
"Maria, look at me," he whispered. Hesitantly, she brought her gaze up to his. She knew it was a bad idea to look him in the eye. Surely, she could get lost in the deep blue and never find her way out again.
She watched a small smile spread across his face as he looked down at her. He made no move to release her from his grip. He kept his arms wrapped around her, holding her firmly against him. Maria could have pushed him away. She didn't think he would force her to stay where she was if she gave his chest a little push, but she couldn't bring herself to push him away. She liked the way his arms encircled her, and she liked the way she seemed to fit against him perfectly.
"We can't," she said weakly. Georg studied her face. After a moment, he nodded, and his arms released their hold. She had thought he was going to step away, but he only repositioned his hands on her waist. He didn't take a step back, nor did he push her away, he just held her while his thumbs traced small circles through the material of her t-shirt.
"This isn't right," she muttered softly. His eyes never left hers, but she could see his pupils were much more dilated than they had been before. He nodded again and brought his forehead down to rest against hers, his breaths still coming in soft pants against her. He continued his ministrations against her waist, and Maria was sure that if he kept that up, her list might go straight out the window with her sanity.
"There's the children to think about," she said, barely a whisper.
"Yes," he said softly. He closed his eyes and exhaled a sift sigh. The children seemed to resonate with him.
"And I work for you," she said. She found it increasingly difficult to go through her list as his thumbs added a fraction more pressure against her.
"That's true," he replied.
"It's unethical," she said, looking down at his chest and absentmindedly flicking away a stray piece of fluff. She heard Georg make a weak sound of agreement, but he still didn't move away. In fact, she felt his hands grip her waist with just a little more pressure.
"We shouldn't continue," she said. She moved her head away from his to look at him. His eyes opened, and Maria could see there was conflict within them.
"No, we shouldn't," he whispered. His thumbs stilled their ministrations as she watched his eyes cloud over. He seemed to be thinking. On their own accord, the fingers of her one hand traced along the neckline of his jumper. She felt rather than heard his sharp intake of breath.
"I should probably go," she said, making no move to pull away. Her brain screamed at her body to move, but her traitorous feet stayed planted where they were.
"Yes, you probably should," he muttered. She felt his fingers flex against her waist, and she bit down on her bottom lip, causing Georg's gaze to drop. His own tongue darted out to wet his lips as he watched her. Slowly, his gaze reached her eyes again. Neither one of them said a word. They studied each other carefully. Maria was trying to come to the conclusion of which one of them would be the first to move away. One of them had to eventually, right?
Maria didn't feel strong enough to pull away. Her knees felt weak with the way his eyes roamed over her face, the affection in them as clear as day. She was certain she wouldn't be able to stand on her own. She wasn't sure she wanted to stand on her own. A part of her wanted to stay in his arms for as long as she could manage.
All the buried feelings, all the repressed thoughts, everything that Maria had tried to put away for the last weeks began to resurface as the watched his blues eyes search her face. While she knew it was wrong, she also began to realize that she felt more than just friendship for Georg, and it was a thought that frightened her to the core. It didn't frighten her enough to leave though. Her curiosity seemed to be winning out.
She could vaguely hear the rumble of thunder sound, much closer than it had been before. She jumped a little in Georg's arms, and she watched the corners of his lips quirk upwards.
"You know what?" Georg asked softly. Maria shook her head in a dream like state. "I've never been very good at doing what I should and not doing what I shouldn't."
Before Maria could even comprehend the words he had spoken, she felt him move them a few steps backwards. In one fluid motion, he reached behind her and swept the papers off his desk, hoisting her up to sit on it. He moved to stand between her legs and rested his hands on either side of her thighs as he brought his head closer to her own. He watched her face carefully, likely making sure he hadn't frightened her.
Maria's heart was racing, but it certainly wasn't from fear. She was curious to see what would happen and curious to see if he was facing the same feelings. She scanned his face, trying to read his thoughts.
He moved in closer and she thought he was about to kiss her again, but at the last minute, he shifted his head to the left and placed a kiss on her cheek.
"If you want to go," he muttered against her skin. Maria felt the goosebumps prickle on her skin. He placed another kiss on her jaw. "You can go. I won't stop you." Maria fought off a shiver that threatened to shoot down her spine as he placed a kiss on her neck. "But truthfully, Maria," he placed another kiss further down her neck, stopping to lightly nip at the skin. He pulled back to look her in the eye. She couldn't stop the shiver that tremored through her body as his voice dropped to a dangerously low octave, "I don't want you to go."
She couldn't think in coherent sentences when he looked at her with such earnest. He didn't move any closer. He stayed put, his lips suspended mere inches above her own as he watched her.
"Tell me you want to go. I'll back off and let you walk out of that door right now, and I'll never mention it again, just say the word," he told her in a whisper. He brought a hand up and stroked her jaw with a feather light touch. "But if you stay, I don't know if I'll be able to let you go."
The implications of his words were enough to knock the breath clear out of Maria's lungs. She knew the right choice was to tell him she had to leave. But she couldn't. Not with the way he was looking at her. She raised a hand to his face, tracing gently along his cheekbone with her fingers. He closed his eyes at the touch, and she heard a soft sigh escape from him. He opened his eyes again, a question clear within their depths. Maria nodded gently.
Georg made no hesitation. He leaned in and pressed his parted lips against her own. He skipped over the tenderness completely, instead moving with a hunger and passion that Maria had never experienced. While his mouth moved wildly against her own, she felt his hands begin to explore. They started at her waist, slowly snaking up her sides, skating across her ribs. They made their way to her shoulders before grazing along the bare skin of her arms. His hands on her bare skin set her on fire. She wondered what they would feel like everywhere.
On their own will, her legs wrapped around his hips, locking him into her space, and earning a delighted groan from Georg. As quickly as he had pressed his lips against hers, he removed them. Maria briefly felt loss and nearly asked him what he thought he was doing, but her protests were cut off when he buried his face in her neck and began assault her skin with his talented lips. One of her arms wrapped around his back as he lowered his own. One of his hands landed on the desk next to her own hand, while the other dropped down to her thigh, his thumb gently stroking the top of it.
Every single reason they shouldn't be doing what they were doing flew out of Maria's head the moment his teeth found the sensitive spot between her neck and her shoulder. She bit her lip to stifle a moan. Georg must have sensed her holding back because he placed just a little more pressure against her skin. Maria couldn't stifle the moan this time, and she felt Georg smile against her skin.
He continued his assault around to the base of her throat, dipping his head to pay attention to the bit of her collar bone that was exposed by her t-shirt. Maria fisted the material of his jumper as he kissed along her collar bone. He would surely drive her insane. He trailed his lips up the other side of her neck, stopping along the way to nibble here and there. She could hardly recognize the sounds escaping her throat as he continued his assault. She couldn't even bring herself to care. All she knew is that she didn't want him to stop.
Her hand travelled down his back, stopping when she felt the leather of his belt. She stilled a little, unsure of what to do next. As he bent a little further forward to suck lightly behind her ear, his jumper rode up revealing a sliver of skin. She tentatively let her fingers rest against the bare skin. He was hot to the touch. She felt him still immediately, and she removed her hand. He pulled back and looked her in the eye. The blue was gone, and all she could see was the deep black abyss of his pupils.
He pressed his lips against hers with a gruff grunt. It seemed a silent invitation to continue. She snuck her hand up the hem of his shirt and felt his burning skin once again. He shuddered a little when she placed her hand against his back, but only moved his mouth harder against hers. With the hand that was holding him up on the desk, Georg shifted her forward so that she rested against the edge of the desk. She was flush against him and could feel evidence of her effect on him against her thigh, which made her head spin with great force.
She knew deep down that it was too much too soon. She had never been in this sort of situation with anyone before, and she barely knew what to do with herself. Georg on the other hand was clearly experienced, and skillful at that. The way he kissed her, the way he touched her, the way he felt pressed against her was enough to make her dizzy. She knew she needed to stop before things went too far, but she wasn't sure she wanted to stop. He was making her feel things she had never dreamed of.
The hand that had been stroking her thigh grew bolder in its exploration. It traced from her knee, back up the top of her thigh before he retracted his steps, ever so slowly. It was driving Maria insane. His touch was too light. She wanted more. More of what, she wasn't quite sure. She just knew she needed more of him altogether.
She snaked her hand from his back around to his abdomen, exploring the taut muscles and course hair there. He shuddered as she ran a hand up his stomach to trace ribs. A groan escaped him, and she felt his hips buck forward, pressing himself firmly against her.
The hand that was teasing the top of her thigh ceased its ministrations, moving beneath her shirt. Once she felt his hand come in contact with her skin, a shiver ran down her spine. She stilled her own movements against his skin as she felt his hand explore the expanse of her abdomen. His touch was light and firm all at the same time.
A small voice in the back of her mind warned her that this was where she should stop him, that she needed to leave the room right then, but his hand ignited sparks against her skin, and it felt sinfully good. The voice became quieter and quieter as his fingers stroked her side.
He moved his hand upward, across her ribs as his fingers reached the edge of her bra. He traced along the edge of her bra, leaving Maria desperate for his touch. She arched her back slightly, hoping he would get the idea. He smiled against her lips before moving his hand upwards to cup one of her breasts in his hand. She let out a small gasp against him. Georg moved his hand over her breast delicately, as if scared he would break her. He kept his touch tentative, and it was driving Maria mad.
She was about to groan in protest when a vibration against her thigh jolted her entire body. She jumped at the sensation, her lips tearing away from Georg's in the process. Georg didn't seem to even notice the vibration. He simply moved his lips down her neck.
"I think someone is trying to call you," she said. She barely recognized her low, throaty tone as she spoke.
"Hm," he replied into her neck, not bothering to move.
"It could be, oh, your office," she said as he sucked at the skin just under her jaw.
"I'll call them back," he muttered against her skin. The buzzing stopped and Georg toyed with the edge of her bra. Dipping his fingers under the material only to slip them out again. Maria groaned in frustration. Georg smiled against her neck before blazing a trail with his lips down to her shoulder. Finally, he slipped his hand under the material of her bra, cupping her fully in his hand. Maria moaned as his fingertips grazed against her nipple.
Georg let his fingers explore the newly exposed flesh tentatively, paying special attention to what elicited the most cries out of Maria.
Just as a shot of arousal went through her, Maria felt the buzzing against her inner thigh again.
"Georg, it might be important," she squeaked out as he squeezed her gently. He rolled a nipple between his thumb and forefinger.
"I don't care. I'll burn that whole office down," he growled against her shoulder. She felt his free hand lift off the desk and reach into his pocket. He pulled out his phone and blindly searched for the power button to end the call, not once stopping his ministrations. Once the vibrating stopped, he tossed the phone on the desk carelessly and let his hand rest on Maria's waist.
She let her hands travel up to rest in his hair as he kissed along her collar bone. She arched her back as he nipped lightly at the same time he gave her breast a little pinch. She ran her fingers through her hair, eliciting a gruff groan from his throat.
This time, Maria didn't feel the vibrations, but rather heard his phone buzz against the desk. She turned her head toward the direction of the sound and saw Georg's phone lighting up with Elsa's picture.
Dread seeped into Maria's veins. Elsa was calling him. She had completely forgotten about Elsa. How could she be so stupid! Georg might have said that Elsa wasn't his girlfriend, but Maria presumed that Elsa must have thought she was with the possessive way she clutched his arm whenever he was near. Maria's body went rigid, and Georg took notice. He slipped his hand away from her breast and pulled back to look at her. He followed her gaze to the phone and let out a curse under his breath.
"You should answer it," Maria told him. Georg shook his head.
"I don't need to," he told her softly.
"She's called three times now. Answer it," she told him, a little more firmly than necessary.
"Maria, I-," she cut him off, raising a hand to his lips.
"Please, just answer it," she told him, trying to steady her shaking voice. He studied her face before letting out an exasperated sigh. Maria unwrapped her legs from around his hip and disentagled her arms from around him. Georg gave her one last lingering look before he removed his hands from her and stepped away to grab his phone.
"Hello," he answered, his voice still slightly husky. Maria hopped off the desk and straightened out her clothes, feeling incredibly stupid in the moment.
"Oh, my throat has just been bugging me. Yes, I'm fine. The drive was okay?" he asked.
Maria looked to the door, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks. She had just been getting ravaged by Georg in his study. She had let it happen… again. She nearly wanted to cry. How foolish was she? Why did she let herself get so caught up by him? Why didn't she listen to that little voice in her mind that kept begging her to leave? How had she expected it to end? Was she about to let him take her virtue right there on his desk?
It was wrong. The whole situation was wrong. She had known that going into it, and yet she had still let it happen. She felt completely and utterly stupid. All the while she was supposed to be working. Maria's heart sank. The children! Surely lunch had been served by now. She had ignored her responsibilities. She felt the guilty creep up in her mind.
She needed to go. She had to check on the children. She needed to get away from Georg. It was obvious that he was far too distracting for her own good. She desperately needed to put some space between them. She started making her way to the door, her heart in her throat as she bit back tears.
"Wait, hold on Elsa, I need to tell Franz something," Maria heard Georg say into the phone.
"Maria, don't, please," he said in a hushed tone, holding the phone away from him with his hand over the receiver. Maria turned towards him.
"I have to go. I'm sorry," she muttered weakly. Georg took a step towards her, but Maria held a hand out to stop him. "This was a mistake. I want to leave."
Georg opened his mouth to say something but shut it quickly. After a moment, he gave a solemn nod. She could feel his eyes burning into her as she made her exit.
Maria opened the door, refusing to look back at Georg. She walked through and quickly closed the door behind her, taking a shaky breath of air in. Tears stung at the corners of her eyes. She refused to let them fall. She simply closed her eyes and gave herself a moment to recover.
Why had she gone and done that? It wasn't like her in any way, but for some reason, her head got muddled when she was near Georg. And the way he had looked at her with such tenderness and care, it was overwhelming. She briefly wondered if that had been his goal from the start. Perhaps with Elsa gone, he felt lonely. She chastised herself immediately for letting the thought enter her mind. Georg wasn't that sort of man, or at least, she didn't think her was. It was all just utterly confusing now.
"Maria?" a small voice made her open her eyes. She saw Brigitta standing a few feet in front of her. Maria blinked a few times. She hadn't even heard the girl approach.
"Why is your face all red?" the girl asked. Maria silently cursed herself. "Were you and father fighting?"
"Uh, no, not exactly," she said. She swallowed hard as she felt fresh tears threaten the corners of her eyes. She wold not cry, especially not in front of one of the children.
"Then why were you in there for so long? Lunch is already over. I came to see if you were okay," Brigitta said. Maria mentally thanked whoever was listening that Brigitta hadn't come to check on her any earlier.
"We were just talking about you children. We may have had a minor disagreement on some things, but nothing to worry about," Maria said, forcing a smile on her face. She didn't like lying to the children, but she didn't see much of a choice. What was she supposed to tell them? That while they had been eating their lunch, she was being seduced by their father?
Brigitta eye her curiously.
"Okay, well, it's raining so we can't go outside for a game. We wanted your opinion on what to do. The others are in the sitting room. I'll take you to them," she said, turning to walk down the hall. Maria's feet followed her without much thought. The alternative was to stay near the door where Georg would inevitably walk through at any minute in search of her. At least with the children, he couldn't confront her.
Her heart pounded furiously as she followed Brigitta. She felt foolish and incredibly remorseful for what she had let happen in the study. She knew it was wrong of her. Though she knew she hadn't been entirely alone in the act, she had encouraged him, and she had let it get carried away. She could have stopped it, but she hadn't, and her heart fell at the very thought.
Maria brought her trembling fingers up to touch her lips. The first time he had kissed her, months ago, had been torture to move past. It had haunted her for months with no end. That was long before she even knew who he was, and long before she began to care for him.
She wondered what it would be like now. Had she messed everything up? The first time they were able to move past it, but how would they ever move past what had just happened? She cursed herself for letting her mind become so clouded in a moment of weakness. Surely, she had ruined their professional relationship. She doubted they could ever go back to the way things were.
She knew she had to formulate a plan. She didn't doubt that Georg would want to speak to her about the incident, but she couldn't let that happen until she knew what to say. Her best line of defence was to keep the children near her at all times. He wouldn't be able to mention it in front of his children. And in the meantime, she could figure out just how to tell him that she regretted making such a drastic mistake.
A/N: So, this happened. This took me so long, and I apologize. It wasn't the actual writing piece that took a long time, it was more that I had this all planned out a certain way and it didn't go according to plan. Basically, in the outline I wrote, it was a split chapter between Maria and Georg. However, I got through Maria's piece and realized it was already 10k and that Georg's would be another 10k, so I thought I'd split them because 20k words in a chapter just seems like a lot.
This chapter really leaves a lot of questions and I'm just not sure I like it on its own. Georg's chapter (which is getting close to being done) answers a lot of questions and really compliments everything in this chapter. I just overall have been feeling weird about posting this chapter because, initially, Georg's perspective was supposed to come in and clear some things up. I blame myself for writing too many words. I'm far too wordy for my own good.
With all that being said, the next chapter should be up pretty soon, and it's exciting. The next chapter is one I'm feeling a bit better about than this one. Maria is confused which leaves me confused which leads me to stare at my screen for hours and contemplate what on earth I just wrote.
I hope you liked this chapter. I mean at least things are moving along, right? We're getting somewhere. Or, at least we were, before Elsa decided to call at a most inopportune moment.
Again, thank you for the reviews. Every time I got frustrated with this chapter, I would read the wonderful comments you guys have left and they drove me to keep writing. I appreciate every single one of you who has kept reading this wild little story of mine, and I'm excited for us to venture on to the next chapter.