The day had not gone as planned, Georg reflected as he sat at his desk with his head in his hands. He hadn't meant for things to get as out of hand as they had. His initial plan was to speak to Maria about the dinner party, and that was it. He had planned to make a quick apology and make sure they would be okay. He had planned on making things right between them to regain her friendship and trust back after he had acted so abominably towards her. He had not planned for his feelings towards Maria to get the best of him, resulting in his ravaging her up on the very desk he sat at now. And he had certainly not planned on letting her leave the way she did – confused, disoriented, and likely hating his guts.
Georg felt incredibly foolish. Had he not just told himself the night before that he would bury whatever feelings that had managed to sneak to the surface? Had he not convinced himself that it was in the best interest of everyone to keep his revelations to himself until he was able to cement just what they were? Instead, he had acted impulsively, letting the river of these newfound desires flow through him in a way that he wasn't sure he would be able to stop.
He could take the coward's way out and blame it on his lack of rest. He hadn't slept a wink after the dinner party. He had laid in bed and focused on ways to keep himself composed in the morning. He didn't even want to think about any feelings that lie within him until he had a proper chance to apologize to her and mend their relationship.
But once she had entered his study, all the feelings he had spent an entire night repressing slowly began to bubble to the surface. He couldn't explain it. It was as if just the sight of her was enough to make him feel like a schoolboy with a crush. The moment she walked through the door, he wanted her – needed her with the power of a blazing fire ready to destroy everything in its path.
He had tried to keep himself in control. Georg had always prided himself on his control, especially in the navy. His mind worked analytically. There was scarcely a problem Georg faced that he could not figure out. However, the problem of Maria and the enchanting effect she seemed to have on him was something that stumped him. The fact that he couldn't seem to keep his feelings buried when she was in a room with him posed a very serious issue.
Of course, it had been coming on for weeks – months if he was being entirely honest with himself. He had just been too blind to realize it. Everyone else seemed to have come to the conclusion long before he had. Max knew. Elsa suspected. Even Mrs. Schmidt had made some coy comment days ago about Maria bringing out a new man in him.
He felt like an idiot for not realizing sooner. He felt absolutely foolish for acting the way he had earlier in his study. Of course, she had run out on him! The way he had acted was something akin to a hormonal teenager with no control. Obviously, she would have her doubts, and yet, he was far more occupied with the feel of her in his arms even when it had been nagging in the back of his mind that he should slow down and have a conversation with her. He had made an absolute mess of things, which had been undoubtedly worsened by Elsa's phone call.
Elsa was another problem entirely. He knew he needed to speak with her about their situation. He knew she wanted something that he couldn't give her. But he also knew that he couldn't simply end things over the phone while she was in a completely different city. The timing couldn't be worse. He was an ass if he strung Elsa along while he was aware that he had feelings for someone else, and he was an ass if he broke things off over the phone while Elsa's aunt was dying in a hospital bed. It didn't seem that there was any outcome in which he didn't make an ass out of himself.
Georg sighed into his hands. How did everything get so complicated? Maria wouldn't even look at him, let alone let him get close enough to speak to her. He had come out of his study after hanging up the phone with every intention of sitting down and having a conversation with her, but he couldn't even get near her. She had always kept a child near her. If that wasn't bad enough, she had barely acknowledged his existence.
Dinner was likely the worst part of the day. Maria never once looked up at him, nor did she speak to him directly. In all fairness, he didn't say anything to her either out of his own uncertainty of whether she would respond to him or not. It was torture being so close to her without being able to say what he wanted to say to her. Most of the children had seemed blissfully unaware of the tension between the two adults, but Liesl, Brigitta, and even Louisa had each glanced between the two of them with skeptical gazes when they realized that Maria and himself were both being unusually quiet while they ate.
He had hoped he would be able to catch her once dinner had commenced, but she had all but run out of the dining room with Marta and Gretl clutching on to either one of her hands. With the children around, she was impossible to get to.
He knew she wouldn't be the one to start the conversation with him. The responsibility fell on him to seek her out, or they would never have a conversation about what had happened. He knew he needed to do it in a timely manner. The longer she sat around with doubts floating around in her head about his intentions, the harder it would be to convince her otherwise.
He weighed his options. He could try and speak with her in the morning. Though, that plan had several flaws. He doubted she would come down to make tea in the morning, as she usually did, in order to avoid seeing him, and as soon as she woke the children up, she wouldn't be alone again for the rest of the day. He could try and text her to come speak with him like he had earlier, but he doubted she would even respond. He wasn't very keen on the idea of letting her doubts simmer around in her mind for the entire night anyways.
No, he had to act quickly. He had a window of time where he knew she wouldn't be with the children. He glanced at his watch. It was half past nine, most of the children would be in bed, and the older three were typically reading or listening to music on their own. Maria wouldn't be with them. There was the possibility that she was already asleep, but he highly doubted it as she had told him only a few days ago that she often stayed up reading.
It seemed that this was his only shot to try and speak with her and explain everything before she came to conclusions about him that would be set in stone and nearly impossible to change. He couldn't bear the idea of that. He couldn't bear the idea of losing her because of his failure to express what he felt.
Georg lifted his head from his hands and inhaled deeply. He needed to be calm and completely in control if he was going to speak with her. It wouldn't do to scare her off while she was already fearful of him. He needed to be able to articulate his feelings in a gentle manner. He couldn't let his nerves get the best of him. If there was a time for him to be strong, it was now.
After a couple of deep breaths, he stood from his chair and turned out his desk lamp, making his way through the room and out of the door. He locked his study door behind him, all the while trying to collect his thoughts.
He began thinking about what he would say to her and how he would start the conversation. He knew it was a matter that he had to handle delicately. He wondered if she would actually hear him out, or if she would shoo him away at the door. He assumed that the latter option was the most likely, but he wouldn't go down without a fight. He needed her to listen to him. He needed to do everything in his power to make her understand what she meant to him.
He walked down the hall, his fingers twitching at his sides as he steeled himself for the oncoming conversation. He tried to put all of his nerves at ease and dispel his doubts. It was just Maria. He had talked to her enough to know that she wouldn't be unkind to him outright. She had a gentle heart. Even if she was upset with him, he knew she would likely hear him out if he insisted.
But there was something about bearing his soul and his feelings to her that scared him beyond measure. He had never been good with feelings. It was something Agathe had mentioned often. While he was a loving husband, he could have a hard time vocalizing his emotions. It was something he deeply regretted after Agathe had passed. He knew he should have told her he loved her more often than he did.
Upon entering the foyer, Georg spotted Mrs. Schmidt walking towards the stairs with a bundle of neatly folded towels in her arms. His brows furrowed as he took in the sight of his housekeeper up and about so late in the evening.
"Mrs. Schmidt, what are you doing up? It's far too late for you to be working," Georg said. He typically didn't like Franz or Mrs. Schmidt working past eight o'clock. The older woman stopped and turned towards him.
"Oh, yes. Well, I meant to deliver some fresh towels to Maria earlier, but it completely slipped my mind. I told her that I would bring them later tonight," she told him. He eyed her carefully.
"It couldn't have waited until morning?" Georg asked. Mrs. Schmidt gave him a half-hearted shrug.
"I passed her in the hall not too long ago which reminded me about the towels. I thought I'd bring them up before I forgot," she said. He nodded slowly before the realization dawned on him. He couldn't help the small smile that spread across his face. Maria was still awake. Best of all, he had the perfect excuse to see her.
"I can take them up. I'm on my way to ask her about a trip into town tomorrow anyways," he lied. Mrs. Schmidt eyed him warily. He had no doubt that she could see right through him. She had known him long enough to have a good judge of his character. But she wasn't likely to call him out on it.
"Are you sure, sir?" she asked. Georg shrugged, trying to wipe the smile from his face. Even if he was sure that Mrs. Schmidt could see through his lie, he could at least have the decency to feign innocence.
"Oh, yes, yes. I might as well. You're off duty anyhow," he said. Mrs. Schmidt watched him skeptically for a moment before giving a small shrug.
"Well, okay," she said as she handed him the stack of towels. Georg took them under his arm protectively, as if they were the most precious bundle in the world to him. He supposed they were at that particular moment. "Goodnight, sir."
"Goodnight, Mrs. Schmidt," Georg replied with a grin he couldn't hide. He watched as Mrs. Schmidt walked off in the opposite direction towards her room. Once she was out of sight, Georg ascended the stairs, taking two at a time. He did not want to waste any time.
He walked quietly past the children's rooms until he reached Maria's door. He stared at the wooden frame for a moment as he inhaled sharply. Lifting a tentative hand, he gave a light knock and held his breath. He waited mere seconds that felt more like minutes before she opened the door.
Georg felt his mind go blank as he took in the woman in front of him. She was wearing a pair of pajama pants with little cartoon cats on them along with a plain white t-shirt, a combination that seemed utterly Maria, and rather endearing if he was being entirely honest with himself.
The smile she had been wearing when she answered the door – obviously expecting Mrs. Schmidt and not Georg – fell in a second. Her bright eyes dimmed in colour as she looked at him, and it struck him square in the chest. He hadn't expected her to be overjoyed to see him, but the way she looked on him as if he were some sort of nuisance hurt him a hell of a lot more than he thought it would.
For a moment, their eyes were locked on each other. Maria was waiting for him to say something, and Georg was trying to think of something to say. He had planned an eloquent speech about how he had regretted his actions earlier, followed with several points about all the things he should have said then, but his brain had seemed to turn to mush between walking up the stairs and coming across her door.
"Um, here are your towels,"' he said pathetically. Georg cursed. Was that really all he could think to say? Maria eyed him carefully as he held the bundle of towels out in her direction. She tentatively reached out to take them, and Georg noticed with a pang of displeasure that she was careful not to touch him.
"Thank you," she replied in a quiet voice. He watched as she turned back into her room and began to close the door. With a rush of anxiety at being shut out, his foot instinctively thrusted in the way of the door.
"We need to talk," he said. She turned back towards him, looking down at his foot that was now jamming the door open.
"I don't think we do. I'm rather tired. I was just about to go to sleep," she muttered, avoiding his eyes.
"If you can tell me with certainty that you will come and speak to me tomorrow, I'll leave," he said. Maria looked up at his chest, her eyebrows furrowed. She opened her mouth to speak, but he held up a hand. "Don't lie. You're a terrible liar."
"What do you want to talk about?" she asked, not trying too hard to mask the iciness in her tone. Georg very nearly rolled his eyes. She knew exactly what he wanted to talk about, she just didn't want to talk about it.
"May I come in?" he asked. Maria's features formed into a scowl before his eyes. He was sure she was going to say no. He stopped her before she could. "I would rather we have this conversation privately than out in the hallway where anyone can hear us."
Maria didn't answer right away, but rather glared at his chest. He waited patiently, giving her the time she needed. He knew that she likely wasn't keen on the idea of being alone with him, given his actions earlier. He was convinced he would have waited outside her door all night if that's the time she required to decide. He was spared having to do so. After a moment, her expression changed from a scowl to defeat.
"Fine," she told him. She moved out of the way of the door, walking into her attached bathroom to set the towels down. Georg stepped into the room, closing the door behind him with a soft click. He watched Maria walk back into the room, folding her arms across her chest as she fixed him, or rather his chest, with a skeptical stare.
He understood how it looked. Him showing up to her room late at night was jarring, even to Georg, but he needed to speak with her. If only he could find the right words to start. He shifted from foot to foot as he began collecting himself, feeling immensely discouraged by Maria's melting gaze burning a hole through his chest.
"You left," he said. He cursed under his breath. He was stating the obvious. She didn't say anything, but her eyes left his chest, finding a spot on the carpet instead. Georg took a deep breath before he spoke again. "You left before I had a chance to explain."
"There's nothing to explain," Maria muttered, more at the carpet than to him. "We both made a mistake, and we are both at fault. We can leave it at that."
Georg's eyebrows shot up at her statement. He knew it would be difficult to speak to her after she had gotten the chance to come up with her own preconceived notions about the incident, but she didn't even seem open to conversation. It was as if in the few hours since they had been in his study, she had already cemented her ideas about what happened. Perhaps it would be more difficult to get through to her than he thought.
"You think it was a mistake?" he asked. He wasn't sure what he would do if she said yes, he only knew he had to try and break through the walls she had put up around her heart between the morning and the evening.
"Don't you?" she asked, her gaze creeping up to his face to gage some sort of reaction.
"No, I don't," he answered honestly. That seemed to surprise her. Her eyes clouded over with confusion as she watched the serious expression on his face as if she thought he was joking. He certainly wasn't laughing. She recovered quickly, however. Her features turned back to a neutral expression before he could even open his mouth to speak again.
"Well, maybe you should," she told him with a bitter bite in her normally soft melodic voice. Now it was Georg's turn to be confused.
"And why is that?" he asked. As neutral as Maria's features were, he could see her hands tremble as they clasped her arms. He could tell she was nervous about his presence. It was a fact he was not proud of.
"I gave you several reasons earlier," she replied. Georg very nearly laughed at that, but he refrained. Laughing would make matters worse.
"Reasons that you seemed to be able to look past for a while, if I remember correctly," he said, keeping his tone as gentle as possible. He watched as Maria let out a huff of air. It would seem he had hit a nerve.
"I wasn't thinking," she said. "I should have left."
"But something made you stay," he replied. He could feel his fingers twitch at his side. "Why did you stay?"
"It hardly matters now," she muttered.
"It matters a great deal to me," he told her softly. She shot him a skeptical look.
"Well, it shouldn't. It will never happen again," she all but mumbled. Georg had to strain to hear her, but when he did, he wish he hadn't. A pang struck his heart at her words. Never was a strong word, and one in which he wasn't sure he wanted to hear under the circumstances.
"Is that what you want?" he asked. Her hesitation began to fill him with hope again. He could see her struggling with an answer. If she couldn't outright tell him yes, that's what she wanted, then there had to be something that was holding her back.
"What we want and what we should do are very different things," she said. Georg had the decency to hold back the smug smile that threatened to form on his lips. She was faltering, and if he was able to keep up the conversation, perhaps she would have a different answer for him; one that was truer to what she desired.
"Some people would say that you should listen to your heart," he said simply. He watched as she shifted from foot to foot. Her hands gripped tightly at her arms.
"Sometimes that leads to more harm than good," she replied. He could hear the slight shake in her voice.
"Do you think I would harm you?" he asked. The shake of her head was subtle, but Georg caught it. He felt pleased that she didn't think that he would harm her. At least he didn't have to worry that she was fearful of him.
"This doesn't just involve us," she said, her tone softer. He knew that. He knew there were other factors to be considered. There were other people who could ultimately end up getting hurt if things didn't work out; seven of them, in fact.
"I know you're worried about the children," he started, ready to settle any anxieties she might have about his seven offspring coming between them.
"It's not just them," she said quickly before he could continue. "Well, I mean, of course, I'm worried about them. I'm their governess, and you're their father. It wouldn't be right."
"Who else are you worried about?" he asked, having a strong inkling to the answer. She averted her eyes from his, and he took it as his answer. "I've told you that she's not my girlfriend."
"It seems like she is," she said quietly. Georg groaned inwardly. He wished Elsa hadn't left. At least if she had stayed another day, he would have been able to talk to her. He would have been able to make his feelings crystal clear to her in order to dispel all the doubts in Maria's head.
"It's complicated," he replied weakly. How was he supposed to explain it to her? He didn't love Elsa – he knew that much. She wasn't really his girlfriend. There had never been a label, but he could see that argument wouldn't hold up in Maria's eyes. What she perceived between Elsa and himself was a relationship, regardless of any labels. But he didn't want Elsa. There was only one thing he wanted in that moment, and she was standing five feet in front of him. If only he had realized that fact earlier.
Maria gave a little nod of her head. Her eyes scanned over the dull beige carpet as if searching for an answer within the fibres of the material. Georg felt a pang of sorrow strike his chest as he watched the confused sadness form in her eyes. He knew he needed to say something lest he lose her forever in that moment.
"I'm going to talk to her," he said. Maria's eyes slowly drifted up towards his face, a question poised in the lift of her eyebrow. "When she gets back. I'm going to tell her where we stand."
"Oh?" was all that came from her lips. It was a question, but what she was asking was uncertain. He knew he had to do a better job of explaining. He had come to her room for one reason, and that was to be completely and wholly honest with her. Georg clenched and unclenched his fist at his side, feeling the perspiration build in his palm.
"Elsa and I have had an… odd relationship, if you can call it that. But the fact of the matter is that we haven't been working for a long time. Long before I even met you. I was just too much of a coward to admit it. I didn't think," he paused as he scrambled for the words he wanted to say, "I didn't think I would ever find anyone that made me feel the way I did with Agathe. When she died, so did a part of me. I never thought I would get that piece of myself back."
Georg let Maria absorb the information as he took a moment to collect his thoughts. He was admitting things he hadn't admitted to anyone else before, and he was petrified. Thoughts he hadn't even admitted to himself until recently were falling from his tongue without a second thought.
For a moment he worried that it was too much. Perhaps his honesty was more than Maria was willing to hear after the way he had treated her earlier. However, the moment she lifted her eyes to meet his own he was proven wrong. He could see through the clarity in those beautiful blue irises that he had her undivided attention. It gave him the strength he needed to start again.
"Elsa is charming and witty, and for a time, she made me forget. Not about Agathe, I could never forget her. She made me forget about the pieces of me that were missing, and I liked that. I liked being able to forget about the brokenness I felt after Agathe, even if it was for a short time here and there. But I was never able to commit wholeheartedly. There was always something missing. For a time, I convinced myself that I would be happy living in this half assed relationship because at least then I wouldn't be alone. Elsa is wonderful and I enjoy her company. Any man would be lucky to have her."
He could see he was losing Maria. Her eyes downcast once again as he spoke. He was doing a poor job of explaining himself. He was rambling on about Elsa when she wasn't the point. The point he had to make was about Maria; about the way he felt an undeniable pull towards her.
"Then I met you," he said quickly. He was pleased when her eyes flicked back up to his own. He was less pleased when her brows knitted on her forehead in confusion. "You changed things."
"But I-I haven't done a thing-," she started, her voice a little breathless. He knew he had her. He knew the walls were coming down. It was clear in the way her voice shook at his declaration and in the way her eyes softened. It gave him hope. There was something about the way her eyes watched him with a subtle tenderness behind them that convinced him that things weren't one-sided. She felt something too. A half smile graced Georg's face as he took a step towards her.
"You've done more than you can imagine, Maria," he told her, his voice dropping ever so slightly. Maria watched him carefully as he came to stand a foot before her. "From the moment I met you at that ghastly nightclub, you made me feels things I wasn't sure I would ever be able to feel again."
He watched the slight tremble go through her body, and he couldn't help but smile a little. It was clear he had an effect on her, even if she didn't want to admit it. He wanted nothing more than to reach out for her, but he wouldn't. Not yet. He didn't want to frighten her.
"But you can't… I mean we-," he cut her off with the shake of his head.
"Do you have feelings for me?" he asked, his voice just above a whisper. Maria stared at him with wide eyes.
"Well we-," Georg silenced her again.
"Don't tell me all the reasons we can't. Just answer the question," he said. She looked away from him then, fixing her gaze on the wall to his left with great intensity. Her answer did not come right away, and after a moment, Georg was afraid she might not give him one. She had convinced herself that nothing could ever happen between them, and perhaps in doing so, she would convince herself not to answer the question in fear of revealing too much.
The barely perceptible nod of her head had Georg's heart shooting straight up to the sky. Her eyes met his again and he felt his heart sink back down. There was fear clear in her eyes. While he doubted the fear was because of him directly, he still wanted to do everything in his power to take it away.
As gently as he could, he reached out and grabbed one of her hands that was still crossed over her chest in a defensive stance. She flinched a little at the contact but didn't pull her hand away. He brought the hand towards his chest, placing it over his heart and covering her hand with his own.
He said no words. He only let his eyes drift shut as his heart beat wildly against their hands. For the first time in a very long time, Georg felt completely at peace. He didn't think of Agathe, he didn't think of the way he had neglected his children for years, he didn't think of the pieces of him that he believed were damaged and broken; he just focused on the way Maria's small hand felt warm and perfect against his chest.
When he opened his eyes again, he saw Maria staring at their hands. Her eyes held an ocean of emotions, most of which Georg could barely read. He brought his free hand under her chin, gently tipping her face upwards for her eyes to meet his. He gave her a soft smile that he hoped was reassuring.
"I know you're worried, and there's a lot we have to figure out. But I meant what I said this morning. I don't think I can let you go," he whispered gently. She watched him with wide eyes. He could see that she was still processing what was happening, and he couldn't blame her for that. He wasn't sure how much experience she had with men. He doubted it was much.
"I don't know how to, um," she started speaking. Georg gave a breathless chuckle.
"You don't have to know. This is new to me too," he said. He watched the doubt and confusion cloud in her eyes. "What I mean is, this between us is new."
She nodded, biting down on her bottom lip. Georg's eyes shifted down to her lips. He very nearly groaned. It drove him insane when she bit her lip. When he brought his gaze back up to her eyes, he noticed that her eyes were focused on his lips. A soft smile formed on his face before he gently pulled her chin with his thumb and forefinger, binging her face closer to his own. He stopped when there were only inches left between them. He didn't want to kiss her unless he was sure she wanted to be kissed. If she wanted to close the gap, she would. He wouldn't force her.
Their lips stayed suspended, their soft breaths mingling in the space between them. For what could have been several moments – Georg couldn't be entirely sure of how much time had passed when she was near him – neither of them moved. He couldn't recall when he had closed his eyes. He couldn't recall when his forehead had connected with Maria's. He couldn't recall when her free hand had landed upon the other side of his chest. He could only focus on the way her breath felt as it whispered across his face, and the soft skin of her hand under his.
He felt that the world had stopped turning, and they were the only two people who existed, until one blissful moment when he felt her soft lips press against his erupting a volcano of emotion in his chest.
The hand that had been resting on her chin slipped down to her waist, pulling her more firmly against him as he moved his lips against her own. He kept it gentle. He didn't want to let things get out of control as they had earlier. This was all very new to her, and he knew he had to take things slow. But as her hand snaked its way into his hair, Georg wasn't sure how much control he had to cling onto. After supressing his feeling for weeks on end, he felt as if each press of her mouth broke open the chasm of his heart more and more.
It was ridiculous, how easy it was to lose control with Maria. He prided himself on control. He kept himself in control in most ways, despite the odd times he let his temper get the best of him. He prided himself on not giving too much away and being able to conduct himself in an appropriate manner both professionally and socially. But when Maria was around, all logic and reason seemed to disappear from his mind. All he could focus on was her.
He found his control slipping away by the second. The way her chest pressed against his, the way she sighed softly against his mouth, the way her hand pulled gently at his hair – it was all driving him to insanity at a rapid pace.
He had come into the room with the intention of telling her the feelings he had neglected to tell her earlier without letting things get out of hand. In his best-case scenario, he imagined he might have kissed her gently before bidding her goodnight, but now that she was pressed against him with her lips against his, he wasn't sure he could simply walk out the door. He found himself needing more of her as the seconds passed. She was just so damn intoxicating.
He felt her tongue sweep across his bottom lip. Whether it was an accident or purposefully done, Georg didn't care. The kisses quickly went from tender caresses to open mouthed devouring. He couldn't get enough. He could have died happily in that moment.
He found himself walking them back towards the bed, his feet moving on their own accord. They fumbled slightly as they moved, but their mouths never broke apart. Even when his lungs screamed for air, he couldn't bring himself to break away, not when her tongue was moving against his that way.
He felt their bodies collide with the side of the bed. He finally tore his mouth away from hers, with much reluctance, and looked into her eyes. She was looking up at him with an innocence that threatened to be his undoing after what she had just been doing with her tongue. In a sudden move, he picked her up off the ground and laid her on the bed with as much grace as he could muster. He felt himself smile at the small squeak she let out at his actions.
He crawled up on the bed, positioning his body over hers. She looked up at him, her pupils blown. She was looking at him the same way she had in his office; her eyes filled with the tell-tale signs of want and need. Georg didn't stop the smug grin that fell on his lips as Maria bit her own lip again.
"Please, stop that," he whispered. Maria frowned a little, releasing her lip.
"Why?" she asked. Georg smiled before dropping a kiss on her lips.
"Because I would rather I do it," he muttered, nipping gently on her bottom lip. He heard a small groan come from her throat, and he was sure the sound would one day be the death of him.
He shifted down onto his forearms. He kept most of his weight off of Maria, but he could feel her body aligned so perfectly with his own. He raised his head and smiled down at her. Their noses were almost touching as her eyes roamed his face with a sort of tenderness Georg wasn't used to. It was such a contrast to the way she had looked at him when he had first entered the room. He felt a sense of pride in knowing that he was able to bring this side out of her – the side he suspected wanted him as much as he wanted her.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered as his fingers gently pushed a lock of hair back from her forehead. The look in her eyes shifted in that moment. She went from watching him with a tender curiosity to looking at him with an open vulnerability that made Georg's heart rate speed up dangerously.
He began to wonder how many times a man had pointed out her beauty to her. He doubted she had been told very often, by the way she eyed him, and it made his heart pang. She should be told daily just how beautiful she was. He made a mental note to remind her every time he got the chance.
His thoughts were cut off quite suddenly when he felt her hands slide up his chest. Her dainty fingers brushed gently against his neck, sending a shiver down his spine. Holding his face in her hands, she brought his head down, her lips finding his once again. He couldn't help but smile against her lips. He felt every nerve in his body stand to attention when she kissed him. It was a feeling he could get used to quite quickly.
Her hands found their way into his hair once again. He briefly wondered if she might have a thing about his hair. The thought made him smile inwardly. He'd have to store that bit of information for later.
He drew his mouth away from hers after a moment. He heard her faint protest, but it quickly ceased as his lips came in contact with her throat. He pressed open mouth kisses along the column of her throat, stopping to trail his lips against her collar bone. When he had done this in his study, she had been exceptionally responsive, which pleased Georg greatly.
He felt one of her hands extricate from his hair, gripping at the jumper at his back instead. A soft moan escaped her lips as his lips found the soft spot between her shoulder and neck. Goosebumps prickled at his skin when her fingers lightly grazed the back of his neck. Her hands, though acting on their own accord, were doing wicked things against his body. It was ridiculous to him that even the most innocent touches from her could send a shot of desire straight through him.
His lips blazed a trail up her neck, stopping occasionally to nip at her soft skin. He kept the nips light, out of fear of marking her. Although, he thought, he wouldn't mind marking her for the world to see. He wouldn't mind seeing her walk past him in the hallway with his mark of claim on her throat. However, he wasn't sure Maria would appreciate the gesture. He certainly didn't want to frighten her off – not when he had just gotten through to her.
He vaguely felt her hands trail down his back as he sucked on a spot behind her ear. The effects of her hands were sinful. His body press further against hers, desperate for contact. When her fingers began to toy with the hem of his shirt, he moved back, shifting on to his knees.
He looked at her carefully while he kneeled above her. She stared back at him, her eyes looking at him with a dreamy sort of want in them, the blue of her irises nearly indistinguishable. He offered her a smile before pulling his jumper over his head, shrugging it off his arms. It landed somewhere next to the bed, but he couldn't quite bring himself to see where. His eyes remained on Maria's, gaging her reaction.
Her eyes scanned the newly exposed skin, taking in every contour of his body. Georg found he didn't mind her scrutiny. He slid back over her, and he found her hands eager to explore his skin. He shuddered as her fingers trailed along the length of his spine.
He brought his mouth back to hers, kissing her deeply, with everything he could. She kissed back in equal fervour, her tongue sliding over his in the most delicious way. Georg let a groan escape from his throat. For someone who didn't have much experience, she learned rather quickly – a fact that was sure to unravel him entirely.
He let his hand trail up her side, dipping under the hem of her t-shirt. His fingers ghosted up her side, over her ribs, higher and higher with agonizing slowness. It wasn't until his fingers came in contact with the side of her breast that he realized she wasn't wearing a bra. The realization drew a moan from him. His hips ground down on their own accord, causing Maria to gasp, no doubt feeling his desire for her against her own.
The small shocked sound rang in Georg's ears as he retracted his hips quickly and pulled his hand away from her entirely. His lips left hers as he panted softly against her, his eyes squeezing shut as he tried to regain some semblance of control. It was too much too fast, he knew that. Even if Maria wasn't about to push him away, he knew he had to stop. He had made the mistake of taking things too far earlier, and he wasn't about to make the same mistake twice. He would wait until he knew she was more comfortable with him, until she wanted to take things further.
"I've, um, I've never, er," he heard her whisper breathlessly. Georg dropped his head to her shoulder. Pressing a gentle kiss against the fabric of her shirt.
"I know," he replied, his voice thick and hoarse. He carefully rolled off her, landing against the pillows on the other side of the bed. He stared up at the ceiling while he caught his breath, willing his body to calm down.
He glanced at Maria, who kept her eyes trained on the ceiling fan. Satisfied that she was lost in her own reflections for the moment, he carefully shifted the fabric of his increasingly tight jeans in an attempt to find some comfort. He found none. He shifted his eyes back up to the ceiling and tried to think of anything but the woman laying in bed next to him. His traitorous mind wouldn't allow it.
He gave up fighting it. He turned his head back to look at her. Her eyes remained on the ceiling above, her chest heaving as she tried to regain her breath. There was a pink tint to her cheeks, a hue he found he rather liked on her. Once again, her teeth chewed gently on her bottom lip, which he assumed was entirely subconscious, but it still drove him entirely mad.
"Maria," he breathed out, hoping to catch her attention. It worked, for she turned her head to look at him, her eyes bright. Georg gave her a soft smile. "Are you okay?"
She didn't reply verbally, but rather with a light nod of her head. He released a breath he hadn't known he was holding. He didn't want to push her further than she was willing to go. He hadn't been aware about how terrified he was of pushing her too far until now.
"There, um, was more I meant to say," he said. Maria nodded again, shifting upward so that she was in a sitting position against the pillows. Georg followed suit, taking care not to accidentally touch her. He wasn't sure if he would be able to do much talking if he felt the sweet graze of her skin against his.
They sat in a strained silence for a moment. Neither quite knew what to say or how to start the conversation. There was so much to talk about, and yet, Georg couldn't quite find the words. He had only just been pouring his heart out to her, but he now seemed to not be able to form proper words.
"I think I've made it quite clear on where I stand," Georg said, eliciting a shy smile from Maria. "And I know you have a lot of doubts."
Maria's eyes flitted away from his. He knew he could have easily gotten away with not talking about the doubts that he knew were bouncing around in the back of her mind, but he wanted to address them. He couldn't leave without knowing that there was something he could pursue in the future. He wasn't sure if he could bear that kind of pain after knowing the taste of her lips and the feel of her skin.
"Maria, I don't want to keep pretending. I know there are several obstacles in the way, but I care about you far too much to let them get between us," he said gently. She faced him once again, and Georg could see the doubt forming in her eyes.
"I don't want to pretend either," she replied, her voice timid. Georg let a smile grace his lips. Even if she was having doubts, at least she didn't want to act like she didn't feel anything for him.
"I'm glad to hear that," he told her.
"What happens next?" she asked uncertainly.
"What do you want to happen?" he asked. Maria made no answer, she only watched him with a bewildered look. He kicked himself mentally. He should have known better than to ask. She probably wasn't sure what the appropriate response was, but in all fairness, neither did he. "I want to be with you, preferably all the time, but that's not feasible."
That elicited a soft smile from her, one that made Georg's heart swell.
"I'll talk to Elsa. I'll make sure she knows where I stand. I'd just rather do it in person," he explained quickly. He didn't really want to keep Elsa the subject of conversation for long.
"And the children?" Maria asked. Georg smiled.
"Your regard for my children is unbelievable," he said, grabbing her hand from where it sat between them and bringing it to his lips. "We don't have to tell them about this if you don't want to. We can keep it between us for now."
"And, erm, what exactly is this?" she asked in an unbearably shy way. Georg smiled. He remembered when Elsa had asked him the same question nearly a year ago. He had been terrified. He hadn't had an answer for Elsa. He didn't want to have an answer. With Maria, he didn't really have a clear answer either, but it wasn't out of fear or the lack of motivation to put a label on things. He interlaced his fingers with hers before placing a soft peck against the back of her hand.
"This can be whatever we want it to be," he replied gently. She watched as her eyes scanned his skeptically. "We can take things slow and see how we feel."
"I've just never, um… Well, you see I haven't-," Georg cut her off by bringing a hand gently against her cheek.
"I know. It doesn't make a difference to me. In fact, you don't know how ecstatic I was to hear that I was the first man you'd ever kissed," he told her, a smug grin spreading across his face. Maria's eyes widened.
"Really?" she asked simply. He chuckled lightly.
"Well, after I got over the initial shock, yes. It means I don't have anyone to compete with," he said. Maria smacked his arm lightly and he laughed. He liked the ease between them.
Maria's lips quirked up into a bright smile at Georg. He smiled back, leaning over to place a peck on her nose. He watched her eyes drift shut as his lips came in contact with the tip of her nose. For a second, he was tempted to travel just a smidge lower to catch her lips with his, but he knew that if he did that, he likely wouldn't leave for a good, long time. He assumed it was getting quite late.
"I should probably go," he whispered, placing another peck on her nose before he turned away from her, grabbing his shirt off the floor. He shrugged back into the jumper before turning back to Maria.
"I'll see you in the morning?" he asked. Maria gave him another one of her dazzling smiles that made his heart jump.
"Yes," she replied. He smiled back at her, leaning in to peck her lips. Surely, despite his earlier beliefs, he could give her a quick goodnight kiss without things getting out of control, right? He was wrong.
As her lips met his, he found it nearly impossible to back away. He told himself that he would stay for one minute, and then he would have to leave. One minute turned into five. He knew he was ruined the minute she slid her tongue into his mouth. It was hard to believe that she had very little previous experience when she was already so talented at unhinging him. He liked that she was taking more initiative when kissing him. It shot a thrill through his veins.
He felt her hand come up to his neck, her fingers gently stroking at his jaw. Georg felt a shiver threaten to shoot down his spine. The effect her fingers had on him was dangerous.
"Maria," he muttered in between kisses. She hummed back in response, not letting up on her assault to his mouth. "You're making it difficult to leave."
"Then don't," she muttered back against his mouth. The words seemed to spur him on. He rolled them so that he was laying on top of her again, moving his lips back to her neck.
"I don't," he said, nipping at the side of her throat causing her to groan, "think that," another nip, another groan, "it's a," a nip with more pressure accompanied by a moan, "good idea."
He continued with his ministrations for another moment, thriving off the sounds she was making, before he sat up. Maria let out an exasperated sigh, shifting on to her elbows to look at him.
"See? I can't control myself around you. It's a bad idea for me to stay any longer," he said. Despite his words, he made no move to get up. In truth, he didn't want to leave. They had spent weeks dancing around these feelings, and now that they had both finally admitted to them, Georg didn't want to spend a second away from her. He was afraid that if he left and went back to his own room, he would wake up in the morning and find that it was all just a dream.
Maria sat up, her body dangerously close to his. Georg swallowed hard as he felt her breath whisper across his cheek. He wasn't quite sure what to expect. A part of him thought that she might act on a moment of courage in claiming his lips with hers. The other part of him thought she might tell him to go. He wasn't sure which option he would prefer. She surprised him by doing neither.
Maria grabbed his arm, pulling him down towards the bed next to her. When she laid down with her back to him, he got the idea. He laid behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist. He buried his face in her hair, inhaling that sweet lavender mixed with vanilla scent that he had grown to associate with her.
"Are you sure you want me to stay?" he asked against the back of her neck. Maria placed her hand over the one that was resting on her waist.
"I've spent so long pushing everything I felt for you away. I just don't want to wake up and not know if this was a dream or not," she said quietly. Georg smiled and placed a kiss to the back of her neck.
"I'll stay as long as you want me to," he told her. He knew he was both talking about that night, and for the foreseeable future that lay before them. He couldn't imagine wanting to leave her for some time. He knew what he felt ran deeper than just attraction, or lust, or fleeting romance.
He had been in love once. He knew the feeling well. The heart wrenching pain of wanting to give all of him to someone else, no matter the pain he might experience in the process. That's how he had known the difference between love and attraction with Elsa. He hadn't felt that gaping hole in his heart whenever he left her. He hadn't felt that hammering in his chest whenever she walked into a room. He hadn't felt the warmth that flooded through his body when she kissed him. He hadn't been willing to lay down everything for her.
Holding Maria in his arms now, he knew he would do anything to protect her. He felt both his mind and body fall into a state of serenity that was vaguely familiar. He could feel the broken pieces of him begin to heal and mend themselves anew. She was precious to him. He knew it wasn't just a feeling that would run its course in due time. He knew that both from the dreams he had of her from the moment they had met down to the way he couldn't seem to get enough of her.
He knew that what he was feeling was the point of falling in love with someone so entirely that it washed over his soul. Georg, the man that had been so broken from losing the first love of his life, was being given a second chance. He couldn't help but smile a little as he lifted his head to look at her. Yes, he thought, I think I'm in love with her.
Maria turned slightly in his arms to look up at him, scanning his eyes skeptically.
"What is it?" she asked. He didn't say anything for a moment. He just looked at her, capturing every contour of her face into his memory. He dropped a gentle kiss on her cheek.
"I'm just happy," he whispered. He knew he could have told her his new revelations. He could have whispered three words softly in her ear to let her know how he really felt about her. But he wouldn't. Not yet. He doubted Maria had ever been in love, and he couldn't be entirely sure that she loved him. Having only just confessed possessing feelings for her, he doubted she would know how to react if he threw love into the mix.
He made a decision then and there to spend his days making her fall in love with him. He would tell her how he felt in due time. They had all the time in the world, didn't they? He didn't have to rush things. He would just keep that bit of information to himself for now.
Maria gave him a sweet smile before turning back around and turning off the lamp that sat on her nightstand. She settled back into him as Georg tightened his grip ever so slightly. She felt soft and perfect in his arms. He felt a wave of serenity wash over him as he felt her hand rest over his once again.
"Goodnight, Maria," he whispered into the darkness.
"Goodnight, Georg," she replied. Hearing his name brought a grin upon his face. He liked the way it sounded coming from her lips.
He placed another kiss against the back of her neck and listened as her breathing began to even out. Once he was certain she was asleep, he closed his own eyes and let the blissful peace that came with holding her in his arms wash over him like a tidal wave. For the first time in years, Georg fell asleep with a smile on his face.
A/N: I'm going to start off by apologizing for the long wait for this chapter. It was never my intention to keep any of you waiting this long. In all honesty, I've been having a rough couple of weeks. I haven't quite been feeling myself, and I've had a lot on my mind. I didn't have much motivation to write, and when I would force myself to sit down and work through this chapter, I often did not like what I was producing. I've rewritten parts of this chapter more times than I can count. What really took the most time with this chapter was my desire to be in a good writing mindset. I didn't want to post some half assed chapter that I wrote when I was dealing with a hundred other things. You guys have been so kind and so wonderful to me that I want to make sure that I'm giving you at least half decent content.
Okay, now that we've gotten that out of the way, I would love to know your thoughts on this chapter. This chapter was entirely different in the outline, and that's one of other reasons this took so long. This is where the M rating was supposed to come in, but after talking to a good friend about it and looking over my notes, I decided it wasn't time. It turned into this fluffy mess instead. I know I've kept you guys waiting for 14 chapters, but it wasn't right. BUT there will be some steamy stuff coming up, don't you worry. There will also be some angsty stuff coming up.
I don't know how long it will be until the next update. I'm trying to stick to a schedule of updating at least once a week, but that is dependent on life. Sometimes life gets a little crazy, and sometimes I have absolutely nothing to do but write. Hopefully it will be soon because I've been generating a lot of ideas that I'm excited for you to read.
Once again, your words have been so kind and lovely. I've received so many wonderful comments over the last couple weeks, and they've warmed my heart. I'm glad that you are all enjoying this wild adventure so far, and I can't wait until the next chapter. Thank you for reading!