Georg was sat at his desk, a glass of untouched whiskey next to his open laptop. His attention was neither on the laptop nor the whiskey, however. His attention was solely focused on the black velvet box that he held firmly in his hand. His fingers tightened ever so slightly around the small box as his mind began to run away from him.
It had been a week. A week since he had last laid eyes on Maria. A week since he had run into her bedroom only to find all her belongings were gone. A week since his heart had once again shattered within his chest, leaving behind the remnants of a broken man.
He had asked himself over and over why she left. He replayed the day in his mind so many times that he wasn't even sure if it had actually happened or if it was a figment of his imagination. He had thought that things were going well. He had thought that the two of them trusted each other. He had thought that maybe, just maybe, after the night they spent together that she was starting to fall in love with him too.
Had he been foolish in thinking so? Had he been so completely wrong in reading her feelings? Had he only seen what he wanted to see?
For the life of him, he couldn't come up with an answer to the questions that ran through his mind. The day had been so perfect. He had woken up with her in his arms, and everything seemed to fall into place. In five years, he couldn't remember a time feeling so at peace or so full of life. Whereas Georg had often woke with dread in his heart at the memories of a better time that were no longer within reach, that morning, he had only felt hope for a new day. He had only felt hope for what the future could be with the woman who was curled up against him.
It hadn't been until Max and Elsa had appeared on the terrace that Georg's heart had begun to sink. Knowing that the conversation he was about to have with Elsa was not going to be an easy one, he only had to take one look at Maria to know it would be worth it. He had followed Elsa with one last, lingering glance back to Maria. She had looked anxious, uncertain, even a little sad. Had she been thinking of leaving him then?
Had he known that would have been the last time he would see her, he never would have gone inside. The hint of pain that he saw in her eyes as he walked inside was an image that was etched into his mind, haunting his every waking moment. He was sure it would haunt his dreams as well, if he was able to find sleep.
Sleep had escaped him, as well as his appetite. He couldn't bring his mind from the never ceasing questions in his mind long enough to ease into slumber, and eating, well, he would take one look at the end of the table where Maria once sat, and his heart would shatter all over again at the vacant space. He found he couldn't take more than a few bites of food before his stomach felt sick over the loss of her presence, as well as the memories that came with it.
The day had been branded on his mind. The complete emptiness he had felt when he had walked into her room to find her gone was an emptiness that followed him everywhere. He had felt hollow, lost, defeated. There had been nothing in that moment that could fill the cracks that had begun to form in his heart.
Georg had been sure there was nothing that could leave him feeling more pained than he already was. He was proven wrong when he descended the stairs and made his way on to the terrace. When his lifeless eyes had fallen upon the children, he knew that his heart was about to break all over again.
The children had just been making their way inside for dinner after their game of tag, their eyes brightened, and faces flushed from the activity of their game. Their smiles had been brighter than the afternoon sun. It was then that Georg felt his heart tear directly from his chest. They had been so happy, so full of life as they greeted him on the terrace. When little Gretl had hugged his leg and looked up at him with bright eyes as she inquired where their governess was, Georg felt nothing more than numb. Where he had once been commended on his bravery, he felt anything but in that moment.
He had lost his voice. He struggled to find the words to tell his children that the woman they had come to adore and cherish had left them, all of them, without more than a simple I'm sorry scribbled on a piece of paper. When he failed to answer his children, they seemed to know something was wrong. Their expressions turned to looks of worry and uncertainty. Georg felt as if he was back to that dreadful moment five years ago when he had sat his children down to explain that they would never see their mother again.
It wasn't until Max had stood from his seat and asked Georg if everything was okay that he found his voice. Ending his silence, he choked out two pathetic words in explanation:
"She's gone."
Chaos had erupted. He could remember his youngest children clinging to his legs as they began to break out into tears. In their disbelief, the older children began to talk at the same time, the panic etched on their features.
"Maybe she's taking a walk in the gardens!"
"Or she went off property again like she did this morning!"
"She wouldn't leave us, would she?"
"She couldn't leave without saying goodbye!"
Only Liesl stayed silent. While Georg's eyes scanned the faces of his children, his eyes landed on hers. She fixed him with a solemn, knowing stare. It was then that Georg's heart was truly lost to him, as Liesl watched him with sorrow in her eyes. While his children had lost their governess, Liesl had known that her father had lost the ray of light that had saved him from a life of darkness.
Georg was helpless to do anything but stand there, watching as the pain began to form in the eyes of his children as they began to realize that she really was gone. Max had spoken up in a surprisingly calm voice and told the children to get washed up for dinner. Georg vaguely remembered their protests and the way Max had urged them inside. Eventually they left, most of them with fresh tears in their eyes.
As the children made their way inside, Max began a ramble that sounded distant to Georg's ears.
"What do you mean she's gone, Georg? Did something happen? Are you sure she's actually gone? Perhaps the children are right. She might be taking a walk. She could have needed to be alone for a bit. I'm sure she'll be back before you know it. I don't think she would have just left. It doesn't seem like something Maria would do. Why don't you just get ready for dinner, and-"
Georg couldn't listen anymore. He had turned on his heel and marched inside. His feet didn't stop moving until he reached his study. He had closed the door, locking it, before pouring himself a glass of whiskey.
He proceeded to drink for the remainder of the night, refusing to leave his study for anything. Max had knocked nearly hourly, attempting to coax Georg out of his study. Georg could only remember the vague call of Max's voice.
"Georg, please. The children need you. Don't do this again."
He could vaguely remember the feeling of guilt prod at his chest for locking himself away, but he had felt far too numb to register the guilt. He drank until he couldn't feel anything but the anger that began to seep under his skin. He was angry that she left. He was angry that he didn't know why she left. He was angry that she abandoned his children. But most importantly, he was angry at himself. He was angry that he had let his heart open, only to have it utterly crushed once again.
After a certain point, Georg couldn't remember much of the night she had left. He had woken the next day, his face down on his desk, and his back set on fire from the position he had passed out in. He had reached for his phone, unlocking it to find his messages open. He had sent one single message that went unanswered.
To Maria: Why? [Sent at 12:35 a.m.]
Her lack of an answer told Georg one thing; she didn't want to speak to him. The cracks in Georg's heart began to burst. She doesn't want anything to do with me, he told himself bitterly. He tried to think through the pounding in his head. What had he done? Had he said something to make her leave? Had he done something to upset her? Had the night before been too much for her? Did she truly not want him?
The questions had only made his head pound more. He ceased his thoughts of Maria, thinking of the children instead. He couldn't do this to them again. He couldn't shut them out. If Maria had left him with one thing other than a familiar ache in his heart, it was that he couldn't take his grief out on his children. They needed him.
He straightened out in his chair then, popping a couple of Aspirin in his mouth before leaving his study and making his way to the breakfast table. Eight pairs of eyes turned to look at him as he forced a smile on his face. He put on a cheery disposition. He might not be okay, but he would pretend to be for the sake of his children. He wouldn't make them lose their father again.
They had been somber. The seven of them stayed silent throughout the meal while Georg talked on almost endlessly, rambling about anything and everything that took his mind off the twinge of sadness embedded in the corners of his mind. Max had eyed him curiously, but indulged him in conversation, nonetheless.
He adopted a mask of indifference to Maria's disappearance for his children. He spent as much time as possible with them, letting them skip their studies and required reading in favour of playing games or other activities. However, they lacked energy and enthusiasm. They wore expressions of sorrow. Not once since Maria had left had he seen one of them smile.
Georg sighed at his desk. Slowly, he opened the box in his hand to reveal a sizeable diamond ring. He shook his head as he eyed the ring, the light reflecting off the jewels to create an extravagant sparkle that reminded him of her eyes. He set the open box on his desk in front of him, watching it as if it would bring her back.
He surely had been insane purchasing an engagement ring after only days of admitting his feelings to Maria. It had been impulsive, really. He had been walking down the streets of Salzburg while running a few errands when he had come across the jewelers. His feet had taken him inside without much thought. He had pondered perhaps purchasing a necklace for Maria. He had bought her flowers only the day before as a gesture of his feelings, but jewellery seemed far more intimate.
He had entirely given up on the idea of buying jewellery when he realized it would be too much too fast. He had turned to walk back out the door when he saw it. The sparkle of the ring had caught his attention, and for some reason he couldn't take his eyes off it. He had moved closer to the display before a man had approached him, asking him if he'd like to purchase the ring. Entirely hypnotized by the jewels before him, Georg had responded without hesitation. Before he knew it, the ring was being handed to him in a velvet box and he was paying the man.
He had stared at it for the better part of an hour that night wondering what in the hell had possessed him to purchase a ring. He and Maria had just confessed to having feelings for each other. They weren't even in a proper relationship. Georg had insisted on taking things slow, so why had he gone out and bought an engagement ring?
It dawned on him later that evening that even though things were new between them, he knew that he wanted more. He didn't want it the next day, nor did he want it the next month, but he knew that one day, he wanted Maria to be his wife. He was sure in the way he felt when she was near him, the comfort he found in her touch, and the way his children loved her so fiercely that he wanted her by his side for the rest of his life.
He knew that getting a second chance at love was rare, and the fact that he had found it with Maria was something he wasn't going to take for granted. He wanted a future with her, he wanted her to be the mother of his children, he wanted to have a life with her.
He had stashed the ring in a box on his dresser where he held some photos of his children and Agathe. He knew he wouldn't propose anytime soon. He wasn't so foolish to think that Maria would want to marry him at that point in time, but in his heart, he held out hope that maybe one day down the line, she would want a life with him too.
She had elicited feelings in him that he hadn't felt in a very long time. She had made him feel alive when he thought he would spend the rest of his life broken and numb over the loss he felt so acutely in his bones. Looking into her eyes was like coming home over and over again. She had opened his eyes to the world he had shut out for so long, and it was beautiful. She had given him the greatest gift of all; his family back. He had hoped that he would be able to give her a family in return.
As he sat there, his eyes scanning over the ring that sat in front of him, he realized that it had been an idiotic notion to believe that Maria might have fallen in love with him, and even more idiotic that he believed she might have wanted to marry him one day. She would have been signing up for all of his baggage. She was still young with ambitions and dreams, whereas he had already lived what he would call a full life.
He was selfish to have believed she would have wanted future with him. He had already been married, and he had seven beautiful children as a result. He had lived a wonderful life. He had travelled, he had seen the world, and he had experienced a loss more painful than anything imaginable; how could he believe that she would want to give up her life for that? No, she deserved someone younger who she could experience life with, not a man who had already lived his life.
A knock on the door forced Georg from his increasingly dark thoughts. He closed the lid of the velvet box with a snap, shoving it into the pocket of his pants before folding his hands neatly on the top of his desk.
"Come in," he called. He was surprised to see Max peek his head in the door. While the man had been nothing but helpful with the children – which was quite a surprise to Georg, given Max's child-like personality – Max hadn't spoken more that a few words to Georg since he had locked himself in his study after Maria left. Georg hadn't had much time to dwell on Max's lack of conversation. He was either with the children, or he was lost to the thoughts of Maria that threatened to consume him.
"Max, what can I do for you?" Georg asked, forcing a smile on his face. The smile he faked felt draining. Most anything he did these days felt draining. Max stepped into the room, closing the door behind him before sauntering towards one of the chairs in front of Georg's desk.
"You can cut the act, Georg," Max said, his voice firmer than Georg was accustomed to. Georg's eyebrows shot up at the way his friend addressed him.
"I'm not sure what you-."
"Stop. Just, stop," Max cut him off. Georg closed his mouth, a frown settling on his lips. He had a sneaky feeling that he wasn't going to like the direction this conversation was going in. He watched as Max inhaled deeply, his eyes set in a hard stare burning into Georg's face.
"You're killing yourself, Georg," Max stated, his voice softening. Max's hard stare became a looked of sheer concern, and was that fear Georg detected?
"Max, I'm fine," Georg said, forcing another weak smile. As the words left Georg's lips, even he could hear the lie in them. His voice sounded hollow and devoid of the conviction he needed to prove his words. Max shook his head, letting out a sigh as he looked to the floor.
"But you're not. You think you've been fooling everyone by smiling and spending time with the children, but even they can see right through you," Max said. Georg's smile faded, and for the first time since the day Maria left, he let himself deflate in front of another person. He slumped back in his chair as he felt his features darken. He let the exhaustion course through him, removing the mask he had thought was so cleverly placed on his face over the past week.
"Georg?" Max questioned when Georg didn't make a move to reply. Georg's eyes met his friends and he saw the worry etched in his features. Still, Georg didn't make a move to reply. What was he to say? Where was he to start? He wasn't sure he could express the pure torture that had been playing inside both his mind and heart over the past week.
Neither man said a word for a very long time. Georg sat with his chin resting on his hand as he stared at his bookshelf. He could feel Max's eyes raking over him, but he couldn't bring himself to look at Max. He was afraid that if he turned his head and let his gaze fall on Max, that he wouldn't be able to hide the utter destruction of his heart that he was sure was reflected in his eyes.
Long moments passed as Georg kept his eyes trained on his bookshelf. His eyes skimmed over the titles as he willed his mind to focus on the words rather than the cluttering of his thoughts. He willed his mind to expel the thoughts of Maria that plagued him, but he found it was futile. She was everywhere. Hadn't it only been ten days ago when she had entered his study, an innocent question about the children's studies on her lips that he swallowed with a bruising kiss against the very bookshelf he was staring at? Funny, he thought, it seemed so long ago now.
"Georg," Max's voice sounded in Georg's ears, bringing him out of the memory he had seemed to be transfixed on.
"Hm?" was the weak reply that sounded from his throat. He made no move to turn. He couldn't turn. He felt frozen, stuck in place by the feeling of loss he hadn't dared to let himself feel in fear that it would swallow him whole.
"When was the last time you slept?" Max asked. Georg tensed. Could Max tell? Was his suffering so obvious?
"Max, I-."
"Or when was the last time you ate a meal? When was the last time you went into your room for more than a change of clothes?" Max's voice wasn't firm or reprimanding, but rather soft, echoing the concern Georg knew he would find in his friend's eyes.
"I can't, I-," Georg shut his mouth then, afraid of what would come out. Max had been right in his observations; Georg hadn't been sleeping, he rarely ate more than a few bites at mealtimes, and he avoided his room at all costs. He couldn't go back in there. He would take one glance at his bed and he was instantly taken back to when he had laid there, Maria in his arms as she drifted off to sleep, and three words rolling off his tongue in the darkness of the room. It quickly became too much.
"You're in love with her, aren't you?" Max asked. The question didn't come as a shock to Georg. If Elsa had been able to see through him, he had no doubts that Max, who had known Georg for years, would be able to see right through the façade. Georg turned his head then, his eyes falling on Max's who stared back with a look of genuine worry that threatened to break Georg all over again. Slowly, Georg let out a weak nod. Georg watched as Max's lips turned up into a barely perceptible smirk.
"Do you know how I knew?" Max asked. Georg didn't reply, only stared back at Max blankly. He couldn't be sure of what tipped everyone off about his feelings. It had seemed that everyone had known about them before he did. "It was the way you looked at her. I haven't seen that look in your eyes since Agathe."
Georg felt his heart sink once again. He had lost his first love because he hadn't been able to save her. The world had been cruel and unjust when it had taken his dear Agathe away from him. He had been helpless to do anything but watch as she deteriorated, and it almost killed him. He had been given a second chance, and yet, Maria had left, and he had been helpless to do anything but watch as his house that had become brighter with her spirit was once again thrust into darkness in her absence.
"She looked at you the same way too, you know," Max said. Georg's eyes widened as he looked at Max. Surely, the man was mistaken. Georg let out a dry laugh, tasting the bitterness in his mouth.
"She did not," Georg practically spat. Max must have misread what was in Maria's eyes, just as he had.
"She did, Georg. It was written all over her face whenever you walked into a room," Max replied. Georg shook his head. He couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his friend's mouth.
"Then why did she leave?" he asked. All the edge and pain he had tried to bury seeped through his tone. He had intended to sound firm, unaffected even, but Georg could only hear the hurt echo in his ears.
"Have you tried to talk to her?" Max asked. Georg shook his head, his fingers drumming along his thigh. He was suddenly feeling agitated by the direction of the conversation. No one had confronted him about Maria since she had left, and he wished it had stayed that way. Talking about it was like voicing his fears aloud, which only made it that much more real.
"She doesn't want to talk to me," Georg replied.
"How do you know?" Max asked. Georg felt his temper flare. Why didn't Max understand? Why did Max have to prod further into the situation? Couldn't Max just let Georg be?
"Because she left! She's gone, Max. If she wanted to be here, if she wanted to be with me, she would be here, but she's not," Georg said bitterly, his voice cracking ever so slightly. He let his head hang as the weight of his words hit him square in the chest. If she wanted to be with him, she wouldn't have left. He had obviously been terribly wrong in assuming she would want to be with him in any capacity.
"I don't believe that," Max said as he shook his head. Georg began to feel his blood boil. He didn't want to argue with Max about what should have been a simple concept. She had left, and that was all there was to it. There was no point in dragging it out further.
"Believe what you want. The fact is that she left, and we all need to move on," Georg muttered, more to himself than to Max. He had to remind himself that he needed to move on. He couldn't cling to the dark, spiraling sense of loss for years as he had with Agathe. He needed to be there for his children, he needed to be a father, and he needed to live his life out of the darkness. He had no idea how the hell he was going to get to a point where it didn't hurt to think about Maria leaving, but he knew he had to try.
"There had to be a reason for her leaving," Max said. Georg fixed Max with a menacing stare. Why did he insist on drawing out a conversation that was beneficial to absolutely no one? If anything, the conversation was only darkening Georg's thoughts. He could give several reasons why Maria might have left; she was scared of entering a relationship with him, she didn't see a future between them, she wanted a different life, she didn't have feelings for him – the list could go on.
"Max, I don't know why you insist upon-."
"Did you tell her?" Max's question cut him off. Georg's eyebrow raised.
"Tell her?" Georg questioned. Max rolled his eyes and Georg opened his mouth to tell Max to stop speculating when Max's voice once again cut him off.
"Did you tell Maria that you're in love with her?" Max asked. Georg stilled. He had told her, but he didn't believe telling her while she was asleep counted, and he wasn't quite sure he wanted to reveal that piece of information to Max.
"No," he muttered quietly. Max nodded, his eyes sparkling in the way they did whenever he felt he was on to something. It irritated Georg to no end.
"Why not?" Max asked. Georg gave an exasperated sigh. He wanted this conversation to be over with. He didn't want to keep talking about Maria as if there was a possibility that she had felt the same about him. The idea was far too painful.
"I couldn't simply throw a word like love out there. I hadn't even properly taken her out," Georg replied.
"Even if there was a chance that she was in love with you too?" Max asked. Georg was ready to hop across the desk to throttle Max. His hands clenched into fists in his lap as he tried to calm his raging nerves.
"You're being ridiculous," Georg replied through gritted teeth. Max shook his head, a smirk on his lips.
"I know I have a reputation, but it's you, Georg, that is being ridiculous this time," Max told him. "Anyone who saw the two of you in a room together could tell that you were in love."
"You don't know what you're talking about. She couldn't have been in love with me. We had barely admitted to having feelings for each other," Georg said, his voice coming out weak. Talking about the prospect of Maria being in love with him was becoming far too painful, now that he knew the truth, now that all of his hopes had been destroyed.
"And yet, you are in love with her," Max stated. Georg let out a grunt.
"That's besides the point, Max," Georg said. Max shook his head.
"That's exactly the point. You say that she couldn't have fallen in love with you so quickly, but you are in love with her. Time doesn't mean anything when it comes to love, Georg; people fall in love at the drop of a hat all the time. What's ridiculous is that you've been given a second chance, and you're just letting it slip away," Max said, his voice firm.
"She left me, not the other way around," Georg replied with exasperation. His eyes flitted to the door as he contemplated removing himself from the situation entirely. He needed to not be having this conversation, for he feared that he would lose himself forever in the heartache.
"And you never thought about going after her?" Max asked. Georg stilled. The thought had crossed his mind, very briefly. The day she had left, he had wondered if there might be a chance to catch her before he lost her forever. However, he had quickly dismissed the idea. If she didn't want to see him, he wasn't going to push her. There hadn't been any point in confirming what he already knew.
"No," he replied weakly. Max let out a sigh, his eyes scanning over Georg with something akin to sadness flashing in his irises.
"Look, Georg, for five years, I've watched you slip away piece by piece. After Agathe died, I had no idea who you were. I knew that I had to let you grieve. I knew that I had to let you figure things out for yourself. Slowly, you came back to yourself, but you were never whole. You were never happy. Even though Elsa brightened you in ways, you weren't the same," Max stated, his voice soft and thoughtful as his eyes watched Georg carefully, seemingly gaging a reaction.
"I'll be honest, I didn't like the idea of Maria at first. When I found you and her all those months ago, I was furious, and when I came to your home to find her here, I was livid. I thought perhaps you had gone back to your old ways. It didn't take long for me to realize that she was the best thing to happen to you in a while. Suddenly, I was seeing glimpses of a man I once knew whom I thought had been lost forever. I will never know how she did it, but she brought you back. She brought you back to your children, she brought you back to your home, and she brought you back to the man you once were.
"I'll be damned if I make the same mistake twice. I didn't interfere after Agathe, and I watched you drown in your grief. I'll never forgive myself for that. I know there was nothing you could do then, and that fact nearly destroyed you. But, Georg, this time you can do something. I've never known you to go down without a fight, so why are you now?"
Georg was speechless. Georg had always known there was more to Max than his jokes and exuberance. Max could be intelligent and unnervingly observant when he wanted to be, but Max had never been overly vocal with his observations, especially when it came to Georg. After Agathe's death, Max avoided the topic like the plague. He typically, besides that one night at the club, steered away from calling Georg out on his actions.
Now, Max was sitting in front of Georg, his hands clasped over his knee, and his eyes burning a hole in Georg's face as he gave Georg utter honesty. Everything Max had said had been nothing but truthful. He had called Georg out with painful accuracy, and Georg wasn't sure what he was more surprised about; the fact that Max was speaking up, or the fact that Max was asking something so impossible of Georg.
Georg shifted uncomfortably in his chair, his left hand gripping the armrest as he contemplated an answer to give Max. He had made a good point. Georg did have a chance to go down fighting. With Agathe, he had no option. He was going to lose Agathe whether he fought or not. With Maria, he didn't have to take it lying down. He didn't have to sit there in his study and feel sorry for himself. He had a chance to make things right. He had a chance to tell her how he felt.
Georg shook his head as the inward battle commenced. He couldn't do it. She had run away from him, and she had to have had a reason. Whatever that reason was, he knew it had to do something with him, and he had to respect her choice. She hadn't answered his text message, so what would indicate that she even wanted to speak to him? To seek her out, he knew would be disastrous
"I can't," Georg muttered softly.
"Can't or won't, Georg?" Max asked. "Have you considered that maybe she might have run away because she didn't know where you stood? You aren't exactly forward with your feelings."
"According to everyone else, it was clear as day how I felt," Georg remarked bitterly. Max let out a small laugh, causing Georg to look up, his eyes narrowing. Did Max really find the situation funny? Because Georg certainly wasn't laughing.
"You really do have a thick skull, don't you?" Max's rhetorical question came. "She's probably going through the same thing you are. She could have been terrified of what she felt, not knowing how you felt in return. When you add Elsa into the mix, it's a recipe for disaster."
"I could have handled that better," Georg murmured, suddenly finding his hands fascinating.
"You certainly could have," Max replied. "I'm sure it would have saved a lot of heartache."
Georg didn't reply. He knew what he had done to Elsa had been unforgiveable. It didn't matter if they had a label or not, he should have told her the truth a long time ago. What was worse was that he dragged Maria down with him as well. Perhaps that's why she left, he thought. Perhaps she wasn't able to look past the way he had strung Elsa along.
"You need to go after her, Georg," Max spoke after a moment. Georg sighed. He could understand Max's reasoning, and for the first time in a long time, Max made perfect sense, but could he really reach out to Maria with the knowledge that she could break his heart more than she already had? She had him in the palm of her hand, and if she were to tell him explicitly that she didn't return his feelings, well, he didn't know if he could handle it.
"I don't even know where she is," Georg sighed. It was a weak excuse, but it was all he could muster as his mind began to become conflicted.
"Doesn't she have any friends? Someone she might go to if she needed a place to stay?" Max asked. Georg sighed again, straining his mind to remember any details she had told him about her life. She had told him she had been relatively alone after her parents had died. She didn't keep contact with her uncle. She had no siblings, as far as he knew. Friend-wise, only one name came to mind.
"She has a friend in Vienna, I believe, but I don't know anything besides a name," Georg replied. He watched as Max gave a small smirk before rising from his seat.
"Move aside," Max said, sauntering around Georg's desk in a Max-like fashion. Georg looked up at his friend with wide eyes.
"What?"
"Get up, Georg. Come on, we don't have time to waste," Max said, his hand gesturing rapidly for Georg to get out of his chair. Georg narrowed his eyes, scanning Max's face for answers. All he received was Max's signature smirk that was entirely too annoying in the moment. Hesitantly, Georg rose from the seat, stepping aside to let Max sit.
"What are you doing?" Georg was almost afraid to ask. Max exited out of Georg's email, clicking on the Internet browser.
"I'm finding Maria. What's her friend's name?" Max asked. Georg groaned. Leave it to Max to go to such extremes as Internet stalking.
"Max, this isn't right," Georg replied. Max shrugged.
"Yes, well, if you have a better idea to find Maria, you let me know. Now, the girl's name?" Max asked again. Georg hesitated. Would he really be an accomplice to Max's insanity? How far was he willing to go to find Maria?
"Jane," he said softly after a moment. Max nodded as his fingers began pattering away at the keyboard. Georg stepped away from the desk, choosing to pace near the bookshelf instead. He couldn't watch what Max was doing. He assumed that whatever it was, was likely illegal. He bit his tongue to keep himself from telling Max to stop.
While he was wary about seeing Maria, a part of him knew Max was right. She had been one of the best things that had happened to him in a long time. He would always regret it if he went without letting her know how he felt. Perhaps she really didn't want to see him, but he had to give it a chance. He had to know for himself, or the uncertainty would only haunt him for years to come.
The ripping of paper a moment later caused Georg to look over at the desk. Max was ripping off the bottom half of his sales report that he had been meaning to file.
"Max, I needed that," Georg groaned. Max shrugged as he picked up a pen and began scribbling letters across the paper.
"Print out another copy," Max said absently. Georg sighed, his fingers twitching at his sides as he listened to the sound of the pen scratching across the paper. What was Max writing? And why did he write so bloody slow?
After a moment, Max turned in the chair, handing the slip of paper to Georg. Georg looked down at the messy handwriting scrawled across the paper, and immediately held it out in front of him to try and read it.
"Perhaps these would help?" Max asked, holding out Georg's reading glasses that had been laying on the desk. Georg snatched them from Max's hand.
"I wouldn't need them if your writing wasn't so atrocious," Georg grumbled as he slipped his glasses on his face.
"Sure thing, old man," he heard Max say under his breath. Georg focused on the paper, the glasses helping ever so slightly. He recognized the jumble to be an address.
"You found her address?" Georg asked, looking at Max over the paper in his hand. Max shrugged, a smirk on his face.
"I did," Max replied smugly.
"You do understand that this is probably illegal, not to mention a little creepy," Georg stated blankly. How had Max even found the girl's address? And so quickly, at that. He hastily decided that he didn't want to know the answer.
"Yes, well, it's your best bet to find Maria. Frankly, I don't know what you're still doing here," Max replied. Georg lowered the paper in his hand, fixing Max with a curious look.
"I can't just take off, Max. I have the children to think about," Georg said.
"I'll watch them, we'll be fine," Max stated with a dismissive wave of his hand. Georg raised an eyebrow.
"Somehow that doesn't make me feel any better," Georg said. Max shook his head, glancing at the watch on his wrist.
"If you leave now, you'll make it to Vienna by eight," Max said. Georg hesitated as a wave of anxiety washed over him.
"But it's almost dinner, and I-."
"Georg, for the love of all that is good, please go. The children will be fine. I'll ask your cook to make some extra dessert. The children won't even notice your absence," Max joked. When Georg still didn't make a move, Max's teasing expression grew serious. "If you don't do this, you'll always regret it."
Georg slowly nodded. He knew there was truth behind Max's words. Georg turned, his eyes fixed on the doorway. He took a deep breath. If he did this, he was subjecting himself to the possibility of inflicting more pain upon himself. If he didn't do this, he would always wonder why she had left. He would live the rest of his life wondering what had happened, why she had chosen to leave him. He would live the rest of his life being haunted by Max's words that she could be in love with him too.
With one last deep breath, he folded the piece of paper in his hand and stuffed it in his pocket, his fingers brushing the velvet of the box. He patted his pocket once before taking strides towards the door.
"Uh, Georg?" Max's voice stopped Georg in his tracks. He turned back to the desk, where Max was still sitting leisurely in his chair. "You are going to change first, aren't you?"
Georg looked down, registering the simple jeans and t-shirt that were crumpled as a result of tossing and turning all night on the small sofa in his study. He looked up at Max, giving his friend a slow nod. A sheepish smile crossed Georg's face. Lost to his thoughts, he had seemingly forgotten to change his clothes from the day before. He supposed if this were to be the last time he were to ever see Maria, given if he could find her, he at least wanted to look presentable.
He watched as a slow smile spread across Max's face.
"Good luck, old friend," Max said. Georg gave Max a weak smile.
"Could you do me a favour?" Georg asked. Max nodded and waited expectantly for an answer. "Please don't tell the children where I've gone. I don't want to get their hopes up."
"I'll tell them you got called into the office," Max replied. Georg nodded. As much as he didn't want to lie to his children, he knew that if they were aware of what he was about to do, they would think Maria was coming back with him. He didn't think he could handle watching their disappointed faces when he came back alone.
With one last grateful look, Georg turned on his heel, his feet carrying him out of his study with a confidence that he did not feel. As he walked to his room, his mind reeled with questions. Would he find her? What would he say to her? Would she speak to him? Or would she refuse to hear him out? What if he couldn't find her?
He paused on the stairs, his hand gripping the railing as he forced the questions from his mind. If he kept wondering about 'what ifs' he would never leave the house. He took a deep breath before continuing. Everything will be fine, he told himself. He only wished it were true. As he entered his bedroom to get changed, he knew deep in his heart that it was likely that he was about to lose the woman he loved forever.
The drive had been gruelling. Despite his best efforts, Georg's mind had been racing with all the unanswered questions that flitted about his head as he drove mindlessly to Vienna. Was he insane? He didn't even know if Maria was in Vienna. For all he knew, she could be in Salzburg, or France for that matter. She could be starting a whole new life. She was probably on her way to moving on. She was probably on her way to forgetting all about him.
A handful of times, he was tempted to turn the car around and head back to the safety of his home. At least in his home, his heart would be protected. Georg had never been a man who had been driven by his heart, except perhaps, in extreme circumstances. Agathe had been his heart, and he was happy to have put his heart on the line for her. Despite the pain he faced after her passing, he wouldn't change a thing. She had given him some of the best years of his life, and seven beautiful children on top of it all.
No, Georg was a man who typically used his head. He thought things through, analyzing the pros and cons before making a decision. He relied on logic rather than feeling, and he knew that was what got him through the Navy. He relied on knowledge rather than what his heart told him. It had gotten him through life.
Georg was a man who typically used his head, until Maria had come along. She seemed to be the exception to his resolve to keep his heart out of things. Before she had come along, he ignored every plea his heart cried out. While his decisions hadn't always been logical after Agathe had died, the decisions he made had been solely made with his head. His heart stayed out of it. He had been set on never letting his heart open again to protect himself. He had been adamant about never feeling the pain he had when he lost his other half.
But Maria had changed everything. She had turned the tables. She had made him want to open his heart. She had made him want to throw logic and sense out the window and give her everything. One look at her, and he was ready to give into the pleas of his heart without hesitation.
Now, he was on his way to put his heart on the line in a way he had never imagined. If someone had told Georg von Trapp four years ago that he would be driving up to Vienna to chase after a woman who had wholly captured his heart, he would have laughed in their faces before throwing out a string of curses. Even now, the idea seemed so ridiculous, so insane that he couldn't fathom what he was doing.
It wasn't until he pulled up outside the address that he had clumsily typed into his navigation system that the gravity of what he was doing hit him square in the chest. Before, it had seemed ridiculous and unimaginable. He had nearly felt in a dream-like state as he drove. Now, looking up at the towering apartment complex, he realized this was real.
He was really outside the apartment building where Maria may or may not be. He was really about to go up to the apartment to tell Maria the depth of his feelings. He was really there, his heart thudding in his chest like a hammer against a nail. He was really about to lay his heart down for Maria to take or throw away.
With a slightly trembling hand, Georg turned the car off, taking the keys out of the ignition. He took a deep breath, steeling his emotions with all the energy he could muster. When he felt that he was as composed as he could be, he opened the car, stepping out onto the street.
The sun was beginning to set. A pink hue painted the sky as Vienna was being thrust into the night. As Georg began to walk up to the door of the apartment building, he felt a soft breeze tickle the skin of his neck. He let himself pause to breathe in the fresh air of the evening, hoping it would bring him the calm he so desperately desired.
His feet began moving once again. He made his way into the building, his heart rate speeding up with each step that he took. Pulling the slip of paper from the pocket of his slacks, he narrowed his eyes to try and read the apartment number. His eyes strained as he tried to determine if he was looking at a three or an eight. For a moment, he regretted not having brought his reading glasses.
Going with his gut, Georg stepped into the elevator, pressing the button for the eighth floor. As the elevator made its agonizingly slow ascent, Georg felt the nerves stir in the pit of his stomach. He ran a trembling hand through his hair as he as he watched the watched the numbers increase. The elevator let out a dull ding, causing Georg's heart to stop. There's no going back now.
The doors eased open revealing a dim lit hallway. He took a tentative step out into the hallway, his fingers twitching restlessly at his side. He looked left, then right. The hallway was deserted. The only sound that could be heard was the booming bass of a stereo that Georg assumed was coming from somewhere from the floor above.
He vaguely heard the elevator doors shut behind him. He needed to move. There was no point in standing around, staring at the beige wall for the better part of an evening. He needed to make his way to his destination. He needed to get this over with so that he could have some peace of mind.
His feet began moving as he turned to the left. His eyes scanned the numbers on the doors, his heart fluttering each time he got closer to the number he was in search of. Finally, his eyes landed on the number that Max had scribbled on the piece of paper that he held firmly in his hand. He took a deep breath, his heart beating rapidly against his ribcage. With another sweep of his hand through his hair, Georg brought the same hand to the door, rapping his knuckles against the wood.
He waited with bated breath, his heart thundering furiously. What was likely seconds felt like hours as time seemed to stand still while he waited for the door to open. When a moment had passed and the door still hadn't opened, Georg raised his hand again, knocking with a little more force than before.
The door stayed closed, and Georg felt his heart sink in his chest. It seemed that no one was there. Perhaps he had the wrong apartment number. He lifted the scrap of paper to his eyeline once again, reading the numbers scribbled across the page. Without his reading glasses, he couldn't be entirely sure, but he felt confident that this was the apartment number that Max had written down.
Georg shook his head as he took a step away from the door. This had been his best bet to find her, and yet, he had come up empty. He had been terrified of finding her in the idea that she would confirm everything he feared most. Somehow, not finding her at the apartment tore his heart up more than he had expected. Somehow, he had let the hope that he would see her again seep into the corners of his heart, and the disappointment that followed not finding her was numbing.
He turned then, his feet moving back from where he came from. He felt foolish. He didn't even know if she was there! And yet, he had let his heart hope for the best outcome. He muttered a curse under his breath. He knew he shouldn't have come. He knew he shouldn't have left the safety of his own home He knew he shouldn't have listened to Max. All this journey had brought him was more disappointment than he felt before.
He shuffled onto the elevator, pressing the button for the main floor with more force than necessary. He stuffed the scrap of paper back into the pocket of his slacks, his fingers lingering over the soft velvet of the box he had absentmindedly put in his pocket before he had left. The feeling of velvet against the tip of his fingers only stung Georg's chest more. He took his hand out of his pocket, clenching it into a fist at his side.
He tensed at the ding of the elevator. The doors opened to the lobby, and he stepped out, the frustration of his own foolishness seething under his skin. Pushing open the door of the building, Georg was relieved when the crisp air hit his skin. It cooled him considerably but was not enough to extinguish the fire of his increasing agitation.
He stopped in front of his car as his mind reeled. What was he supposed to do now? He had no idea where she might be. Had he completely lost his chance to find her? Would he never be able to tell her what he so desperately needed to?
He let out another huff, the agitation boiling in his veins. He supposed his best course of action was to turn around and go home. It would have been the smart thing to do, the logical thing to do. However, Georg found his feet moving away from his car entirely. He began walking down the streets of Vienna, inhaling the crisp night air.
He wasn't sure where he was heading, or what in the hell he was doing. All he knew was that his mind had very nearly shut down through the despair of not being able to find Maria. He felt a tug at his heart. Perhaps he wasn't supposed to find her. Perhaps this was the way it was supposed to end for them.
He silently cursed Max. Why had he listened to Max? He had known it would be a bad idea, and yet, he had let himself believe that he could make things work, that he could somehow get her back. He shook his head. How could he have been so foolish?
He wasn't sure how long he had been walking down the street, he had only known that it had been long enough for the sun to fully set, a blanket of darkness falling over the city. He hadn't been paying attention to his surroundings. He only walked absently in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, his feelings would leave him, and his mind would once again be at peace. He knew it was impossible.
His feet kept moving. He knew he was likely a long way from where he had left his car, but it didn't matter. Nothing seemed to matter in that moment except the ache in his heart. He hadn't realized how desperately he wished to see her face again until he had been stood in front of the apartment door. It was like he hadn't been breathing for the entire week of her absence. It was like he had been under water, and the prospect of seeing her face again was like the idea of coming up for air. He had been so close to feeling the air in his lungs again, and yet, now he felt like he was suffocating more than ever.
It wasn't until the flashing of a neon sign caught his eyes that Georg lifted his head. He stopped dead in his tracks as he took in his surroundings for the first time since he had walked away from his car. He knew this spot. He had been here before, several months ago. His heart fell as his eyes took in the bright lights of the sign of the nightclub. As his eyes roamed over the groups of people crowding around the entrance, he was hit with a sense of déjà vu. He had been standing in this very spot across the street before Max all but dragged him inside.
He had been standing in this very spot only moments before he had met Maria. He had been standing in this spot only moments before he would unknowingly give his entire heart to a woman he hardly knew. He had been standing in this very spot, not knowing that his whole life was about to change.
He swallowed hard as his eyes scanned the building. It was here that he had first laid eyes on her. It was here that he had first tasted her lips. It was here that his icy heart had first began to melt.
He thought his heart might burst with all the pent-up emotion he began to feel. He wanted to turn away. He wanted to stop looking at the building that elicited such strong memories that threatened to undo him. He couldn't look away. His gaze was fixed on the building, his chest feeling heavy.
He was frozen in place, his eyes scanning over the crowds as the memories began to be hurled at him with incredible force. It wasn't just the memories of that night that began to sting at every inch of his body, it was everything that followed afterwards. It was the memory of blue eyes and a golden halo of hair that had captured him entirely. His eyes shut as the force of the memories struck him with a feel of nausea.
He had been lost the moment he had spilled that drink on her at this very nightclub. He had refused to let himself see that for far too long, and now, perhaps, he was paying the price. If only he had realized then what she would come to mean to him. If only he hadn't played off the deep stirring in his chest that she elicited as mere attraction. Oh, what he would give to go back to that night knowing what he knew now.
Georg shook himself from his thoughts. The strength of the memories from that night were threatening his very stability. He opened his eyes, determined to leave. He was determined to walk away and leave it all behind. He let his eyes scan the building one last time, resolving to turn back in the direction of his car and leave the memories behind.
As he turned to walk back the way he came, his eyes spotted a familiar blonde head off to the side of the building. Everything had stopped. The world had frozen over and time stood still as his eyes found her familiar figure leaning against the wall of the building, her features etched into a frown as she looked up towards the sky. Georg blinked several times as the air was robbed from his lungs. His knees threatened to buckle at the image before him. This couldn't be real. She couldn't be there. He couldn't be seeing her.
He clamped his eyes shut for several seconds, willing himself to stop seeing a ghost. He cursed his mind for conjuring up the image in his desperate state. However, when he opened his eyes again, he was convinced it wasn't a mirage of his mind. His stomach began to flip, his heart pounding with a fury unlike anything he had ever known.
He wasn't looking at a ghost, nor was his mind playing a cruel trick on him. No, looking at her now, her arms wrapped around herself as a melancholy look found its way to her eyes, Georg knew he couldn't be dreaming something like this up.
There, leaning against the brick wall of the building, was Maria.
A/N: A bit of a cliffhanger for you. The next chapter might take me a while to get out. I'm having a minor surgery this week, so I apologize for the suspense I might leave you in. I'm going to try and get the next chapter done before surgery, but I won't make any promises.
Thank you for reading! All of your reviews have been very motivating in regard to this chapter, so I thank all of you who have taken the time to review.