the only reason these are a random series of drabbles is because I was too lazy to make an actual full fic with a long over arching story

"I hate you!" He screamed out at him as his anger crackled and boiled on the surface while tears welled in his eyes. "I love you. I love you- I hate you! I wish we never met. I wish you would just disappear and never come back."

"I love you- I- I- I can't take this. I can't live like this. I don't want to," So many tears.

Guilt. There is guilt in him. So much guilt over what he's done. The thought leaks in his brain often enough at the edges of sleep on days like this.

They hadn't meant to start up a fight between them. Hell, everything had been going absolutely great until... shit, what did start this whole thing? They were talking about the future and taking down Alexei. Simple things like what will come next and how they were still not fully compromised but they were going to head out tomorrow and kick his ass at Zaude.

Of course, Yuri knew why. It's because he talked about how even when he was off with his guild, he'd make sure to visit enough that Flynn could stay healthy. Yuri knew better than to remind Flynn about how he could never truly get away from Yuri. That at a certain distance and enough time between seeing each other both their brains would literally snap and they'd essentially just be a two meat sacks.

He shouldn't have brought it up and he did and that slowly devolved into an argument and that devolved into shouting that devolved into screaming. Screaming and screaming and fucking screaming at each other till Flynn pinned him down and kissed him instead of punching him like his fist was obviously planning to do. That kiss was more a headbutt and it hurt like hell.

"I love you!"

Is it wrong that he pitied Flynn every time he said those words at him? That any time Flynn expressed affection a part of him thought there was always a lie in it. That even though he should be pissed that Flynn is fighting him over at this point nothing he's just melancholy. He gets why Flynn's anger gets the best of him when it's brought up. He gets it and sometimes Yuri blames himself because he was so caught up in wanting his free will, he missed that Flynn was in pain.

If he had stopped focusing on how much it sucked to have a soul mate when he could care less, he might have stopped to notice when Flynn started swallowing Grievances like they were candy. Maybe he should have just given up and said he was fine with the lie because all he's done is make Flynn miserable.

"I should have never let you take those pills in the first place."

Yuri doesn't think Flynn has actually smiled at him in years. That anything from Flynn came from anywhere really genuine because his eyes just haven't set the same. There's always this undercurrent of rage and resentment.

"I hate you!"

Before that mental breakdown, Yuri knew that while it was strained and they both didn't want it none of what Flynn said of did with him was a lie. That when Flynn laughed it was because he meant it and maybe it's because this is the longest amount of time they've spent actually talking and being together since they left the knights that he's realized how strained their relationship was.

Flynn's body is shaking over his and tears mixed with snot are drooling onto Yuri. It's a hesitant hug that he pulls Flynn into and he wishes he could do anything more. It feels like a giant joke these marks. Everyone around them either doesn't have them or didn't even need to get them in the first place. One big giant lie that they get to be dragged along in.

Would they have stayed friends if they weren't soulmates? Would Yuri still be in the knights? Would they both be just better? What they have now is a sense of obligation they call love.

Fuck love! If Yuri had wanted it he could have gotten it his own damn self but instead, someone came up with the bright idea to just let a machine do it and call it fate. They could have worked this out on their own times but instead-instead- Flynn's body shakes into his own.

If I had just said fuck it to my own happiness… I just let the mark tell me what to feel… would we both have been better off?

I'm sick of being the reason you cry.

"I love you."