'Holy fuck.' Jax nearly groaned as he stopped cold and stood there for a moment after Jules and Sophie walked out of his room. For two reasons. One, regardless of the situation, he was a little hard after her parting shot. And two; Snarky voice was back with a fucking vengeance. He wasn't gonna find aspirin whether it was around or not. He needed to clear his head for a minute.
'Yeah...good luck with that. Because, well damn, that was hot. She all but put a fucking crow on you buddy.' Snarky didn't sound displeased with the notion.
He sighed as he gritted his teeth. He was gonna go do a cursory check and then go to the Fast Mart. He'd argue with himself then. Although at the moment he wasn't quite sure how much of an argument it would be.
He went out to the main clubhouse and once again was stopped cold. Jules had found the radio and since Bobby usually controlled that, it was on a local classic rock station. She and Sophie were swaying to a familiar song that he couldn't name if someone put a gun to his head.
"...You can't stop us on the road to freedom. You can't stop us 'cause our eyes can see." Jules was swaying and singing along softly to Sophie who it seemed to calm almost immediately. He shook his head, and she was fucking beating herself up for not being totally one hundred percent on top of shit. Like anyone expected that of her right now. She'd been through a lot of shit in the last couple of days, and as much as you could try to not let shit affect you, it just does.
"...Men with insight, men in granite." She continued to sway and sing as he went behind the bar to check there. She smiled softly at him. "...Knights in armor, intent on chivalry." He could feel a slight rush of blood in a couple of places. High on his cheekbones and, well, he was glad he was behind the bar.
'Let me reiterate. Holy fuck.' He shook his head, clearing it. Jules thought he was saying there was no aspirin. He looked around quickly. Luckily there was none. She was still dancing and singing to her daughter. "...She's as sweet as Tupelo honey. She's an angel of the first degree..." She had spun them so her back was to him again, hips swaying in a languid rhythm, her dark curls moving like waves on a moonless night. "...She's as sweet as Tupelo honey. Just like honey baby, from the bee." Once again turning and smiling at him as her daughter's head rested on her shoulder, sleepy but not asleep.
'And aren't you just dying to find out.' Swallowing hard and thinking of what had brought the girls to Charming, he willed his dick to stand the hell down. This was sooo not the time. He came out from behind the bar. "I'm gonna check the office real quick. I'll be right back."
She nodded. "Okay. So far this seems to be holding her over for the moment." Still swaying to the song as it continued.
He was getting ready to turn to go to the office when he stopped. "Who's this?" Gesturing towards the radio.
She smiled and rolled her eyes at him like he was retarded. "Van Morrison's Tupelo Honey." She shook her head and then looked at Sophie. "Looks like we're gonna have to give Jax some music lessons hmm kiddo?"
Sophie nodded with a sleepy smile. "I like music."
Jules laughed a little. "I know, honey."
He couldn't help but shake his head and smile. "Any other plans for my life you'd like to tell me about?"
She smiled at him and those vivid blue eyes twinkled mischievously. "Yes. But I prefer to surprise you with them. Keep you on your toes. It's good for your heart rate."
'I can think of much better ways to raise the ol' heart rate. Seriously. How is this even a decision? Are you so fucking hung up on a past that you'll never get back no matter how hard you try, to pass her, them up? 'Cause I'm just not seeing how you do that unless you're plannin' on ignoring every fuckin' instinct you have as a man. Really. Doc's not doin' this shit to your dick is she?' Snarky was on a fucking roll now.
He rolled his eyes at what was becoming a voice screaming in his head, but covered. Pretty well he thought. "Great, while you're coming up with those, like I said, I'm gonna go check the office." Then booked the fuck out of there.
When he got to the office, he unlocked it and went in and started to give it another cursory toss, mostly trying to calm himself the fuck down.
He thought of Tara. He loved her. He was sure of that. He just wasn't sure he was in love with her anymore. He knew he had married Wendy because he was lonely and wanted a family, wanted to have someone to be all his, and to be all theirs. Maybe he had been wanting Tara back less out of real love and passion than for the stability he craved on some levels.
'Now we're gettin' somewhere sport. Keep thinkin.' Snarky sounded pretty pleased about that.
He shook his head. Who even knew if Jules was stable? Yeah, she certainly seemed to be, but she was Tig's daughter and who knows what kind of crazy got passed along in that gene pool?
'Like you have any room to talk? Gemma isn't the poster child for sane, now is she? Seriously. Do want her judging you by your mother? Although even money says they get along just fine. Which you know deep down is what your Mama's boy ass really wants.' He was getting really tired of Snarky making all of these really good points. While twenty-four hours ago, his life was certainly complicated, this was a whole new level of clusterfuck.
Yeah, the fact that Gemma and Tara could barely stand each other did kind of bother him, but it wasn't a deal breaker. Hadn't been when they were teenagers, it wasn't now. And honestly there was a very small part of him that he refused to examine that enjoyed the tug of war the two women played with him.
'And you say Tig's fucked up. Okay Oedipus. You know what? I've given you what you need to know to make your decision. The rest of this is just a bunch of fucking hand wringing. You were in love Tara. You may still love her, but not in any real way that's gonna give you any real satisfaction or contentment. Ever. A part of you will always be waiting for her to leave you again. And then you have Jules, who by the way, you spark enough electricity with to light up all of Stockton, standing right in front of you basically offering you forever. And I have the feelin' she's not the cut and run type. But whatever. Make yourself happy or set yourself up for misery. It's all on you buddy.' The snarky voice went silent.
He sighed. His subconscious, his conscious, whatever, had made it's point. He still wasn't sure how this would play out, but he was pretty sure that his hand would be forced sooner rather than later.
He went and opened Gemma's desk drawer, and there was a bottle of baby aspirin. He shrugged. His head was probably as clear as it was gonna fuckin' get, so he grabbed them and headed back into the clubhouse.
Jules was still swaying as a different song played, Sophie's head still on her shoulder, the little girl's eyes exhausted and teary. They looked over as he came in. "Gemma apparently keeps baby aspirin in her desk." He held up the bottle like a prize.
Jules smiled. "Score. Shake out one, we'll give that a bit and see if that will work before I give her another." Then her look became a little more serious. "With everything that's happened I don't want to over-medicate her." She rubbed Sophie's back. "Her little system has already had enough stress on it."
Well that sobered shit right on up, now didn't it? He nodded sadly. "Probably for the best." He opened the bottle and shook out a small orange-ish pill into Jules' open hand.
Jules nudged Sophie's head with her shoulder. "Open up honey." The small girl opened her mouth and Jules put the aspirin on her tongue. Sophie closed her mouth and chewed it up quickly making a small face at him.
He gave her a smile. "I know, it doesn't taste real good, does it?" She shook her halo of black curls. He reached over and brushed her bangs off of her forehead. "Would a small glass of orange juice make it better?" Feeling a warmth blossom in his chest when she gave him a small smile with her nod.
Before he embarrassed himself, he went to the kitchen and found a carton of orange juice. Grabbing that and a couple of glasses from the cupboard he went back out. Jules had finally sat down at a table with Sophie on her lap, the girl's head resting on her chest.
Putting a glass in front of her, he poured about half a glass, thinkin' maybe Sophie's Mama would like some too. Jules smiled at him and that heat in his chest was back. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." As he poured himself a glass, out of the corner of his eye, he watched Jules lift the glass to Sophie's mouth, allowing the girl to take a few small swallows. When Sophie was done, Jules lifted the glass and drank the rest herself. Like earlier tonight, he had to stop himself from licking his lips as he watched her swallow.
Once again, before he did something totally stupid, like say, prostrate himself at their feet and declare his undying love, he took the out of taking the juice back into the kitchen. After putting the OJ back, he leaned his forehead against the freezer door. He had to get his shit together. They had been through some really fucked up shit over the last couple of days, and this was the last thing she needed. He needed to at least wait until she managed a little sleep for fuck's sake.
Manning up, he went back out. They were no longer at a table. They had moved across the room to the couch. He wanted to laugh, and not in a good way. It was like she jumpin' out of her skin, unable to stay in one place. She just wasn't going to make this easy for him.
He stopped at the table and drank down the orange juice quickly. What he really wanted was a smoke. He patted his jeans pockets. Damn, they were in his cut. He looked over to Jules as he walked towards the dorms. "I'm gonna grab a smoke, you want one darlin'?"
She nodded with a smile, then flicked her eyes towards Sophie who was starting to doze.
He lit his in his room, heading back out quickly. He sat next to them on the couch. Close, but not too close. Not nearly as close as he would like. He handed her the cigarette. She nodded her thanks. He gave her a smile in return.
After he sat down, Sophie looked at him again, her eyes dark as the piece of chocolate he had given her earlier. Sophie started to crawl out of Jules' lap into his until she stopped the little girl from doing so. "Honey, let Jax finish his smoke first and then if he wants to hold you, that's fine. Okay?"
Sophie looked at him with eyes he just couldn't say no to. Just couldn't. "The second I'm done, okay, sweetheart?"
The little girl nodded as she settled back into her Mama's lap. For the couple of minutes it took him to finish his smoke, the three of them sat there in comfortable silence.
The moment he was done and snuffed his smoke out, Sophie climbed out of Jules' lap and into his. And the moment Sophie cleared her lap, Jules got up, snagging the Zippo he still held in his hand, handing it back after she lit her cigarette, her fingers brushing his briefly, spending sparks up his arm.
He sat quietly, rubbing Sophie's back as the little girl started to drop off in his lap while they both watched her mother pace the floor while smoking her cigarette. It didn't take a genius to see Jules was probably thinking about everything that had happened over the last couple of days and how she was gonna deal with all of the fallout that the little Nazi fuck had created.
As she continued to pace and smoke, he could see her anxiety rising. Her hands were starting to shake a little and speed of her pacing had increased. He was getting ready to call out to her when he looked down and saw Sophie fast asleep. He couldn't help himself, he smiled as he ran his fingers through her black curls.
But he still needed to get Jules' attention before she really worked herself into a state. It was two-thirty in the morning and she really couldn't do a damn thing about any of it at the moment except freak the fuck out. And he was pretty sure she had been doing her level best to prevent that from happening from the moment she got to Charming.
Looking over he saw a pillow. Grabbing it, he waited until her pacing brought her directly in front of him and Sophie. The moment she was in range, he let loose.
When it hit her, she spun towards the couch, the exclamation on her lips dying when she saw Sophie sleeping. Instead, she arched a 'what the fuck?' eyebrow at him, her eyes flashing between annoyed and amused.
He tried to convey everything he wanted to say with a look. That this wasn't the time to freak out. She wasn't in this alone. And it would all probably look, well a little less like a complete clusterfuck after she got some sleep. And there may have been a little bit of I'm thinking of taking up worshiping you as a hobby if you don't mind in there too. He was kind of hoping she didn't notice that last one quite yet. He'd like to actually have sex with her before she knew he was whipped.
She started to nod with a rueful smile as she put out her cigarette in an ashtray on one of the tables. When she started to make her way back to the couch, she flinched, hard. "Fuck." Grabbing her right hamstring.
He nearly forgot he had Sophie on his lap as he went to get up, but stopped himself at the last second from jumping up. He carefully stood up, making sure not to wake the sleeping girl and walked over to Jules who was trying to rub on her leg. "You okay?" Wanting to kick himself as the words left his mouth. At least he'd done it quietly.
She rolled her eyes. "No." She whispered through gritted teeth. "Being cooped up in a car for two days has fucked my knee up. It's used to a hell of a lot more activity, and because it's fucked up, my hamstring has decided it wants to be tighter than a virgin asshole." She stopped for a second and gave a wincing grin. "Wow, totally channeled Den there for a second." She shook her head. "I hate to say it, but can you go get Tig? I need someone to stretch this, and she..." Jules nodded her head at Sophie. "Needs to get some sleep, and she's comfy with you..."
He noticed the apologetic tone her voice had taken on, like she was sorry that she wasn't asking him to stay and help her. And as much as he certainly wanted to, the fact that she was trusting him with the most important thing in her universe, well if that wasn't another check in the pro column, not much would be.
Before he could say anything, she flinched again with a pained chuckle. "Plus, Tig said something about muscle relaxants. I think one of those would be handy right about nowish."
He smiled. "I'll go get him. I'll be with Sophie in the room Mom put you two in."
She had already sat on the floor of clubhouse and was trying to stretch her leg on her own. He had to look away otherwise he was just gonna hand Sophie off to Tig and she was most certainly going to get stretched out. Luckily for him she had her head resting on her knee and hadn't noticed. "Thank you."
"No worries darlin'." He left her alone in the clubhouse as he and a sleeping Sophie went back to the dorms to wake Tig.