"How long? Since I was born? Did my Mom know?!"
Tara winced at the plaintive tone coming from the living room. She knows if she heard it in the kitchen with everything she was doing, someone out back heard it too.
Sure enough Jax, Jake, and Eric came through the patio door; Jake telling Dennis to keep Sophie outside.
She couldn't believe how bad she felt for Tig, watching him squirm after Jax firmly, but far more gently than she would expected, prodded him to answer Jules. Then like everyone else in the house, found herself with a lump in her throat, trying not to cry.
She couldn't even imagine what it must have felt like for Tig, to have to be dependent on someone else for any crumb of information about his daughter he could get. To have to be regulated to the shadows of Jules' life.
She knew Tig was dangerous, and not on speaking terms with sanity most the time, but right now she felt for him. Plus, seeing him with Sophie had already given her a whole new view on Tig, so she shouldn't have been surprised she was feeling for him now.
Then she heard Tig say something about needing a drink. Yeah, she couldn't blame him there. She could use a shot herself right about now.
Remembering that she saw a bottle of bourbon in the cabinet, she quickly grabbed it and brought it out to the living room.
"Here." She handed the bottle to Tig. "I'll go back and get glasses for everyone." Then looked at Jules. "Except you." She winced in preparation for Jules throwing a fit, but as a doctor, she really couldn't let Jules drink while on Hydros and muscle relaxers. She was already stretching things by letting her smoke pot. "Not with the meds you're on."
To her shock, Jules just shrugged. "That's okay. I'd rather smoke a joint anyway." Then lit the half-roach in her hand. "Tig can have mine."
Tig gave Jules a smile. "Thanks, doll."
She shrugged and headed back to the kitchen for glasses,
Turning from the cabinet, she nearly hit Jake with her elbow.
"Whoa, sweetheart." Jake smiled. "Just thought you might like some help."
"Thanks." She looked at Jake for a moment. He seemed as out of sorts as Tig and Jules were. "Are you okay?"
Jake just shook his head. "No father likes to see his kid hurting like that." Jake sighed. "And I have to admit, I'm shocked that Trager said he'd make the same choice again."
This time it was her shaking her head. "Tig isn't blind. Or dumb. He can see how much you and your sons love her and Sophie." She shrugged. "Plus Jules wouldn't be the Jules that Tig thinks her mother would be so proud of without your family."
Jake reached over and patted her arm, giving a little squeeze before he let go. "Thank you." He then took a deep breath and grabbed a few glasses. "We should get back in there, otherwise Trager will have probably killed the bottle."
"Well, we can't have that. You lead. I'll follow." Grabbing the last two glasses, she followed Jake back to the living room, where the tension that had fallen over it like fog had dispersed.
She was grateful for that. She's pretty positive the only reason she hasn't completely lost it over what happen with Josh the night before is due to the relaxed, familial atmosphere that the Lyons seemed to exude and pull everyone into wherever they were.
She passed glasses around as Tig went behind her and gave everyone drinking a splash of bourbon. There were no toasts, no salutes, just grateful gulps from all of those with booze.
She threw hers back quickly, trying to avoid how bad it tasted. She was not a whiskey drinker, at all. A nice glass of wine, maybe a mixed drink if she was feeling frisky, but rarely whiskey. That's what her father drank.
For the moment the only sounds in the room were those of the low volume of the television and Sophie and Dennis's laughter floating in from the backyard. It was Jules who broke the silence.
"If we want Sophie to get to bed at her bedtime, we need to be eating sooner rather than later." Looking to her and Jake.
"Grill should be ready." Jake looked at her. "You think thirty minutes or so?"
She nodded, looking back to the kitchen as she thought. "That sounds about right." She looked over to Jules. "Are you up for sitting at a table or are you eating out here?"
"Probably here." Jules' voice a little rough from the joint she was smoking. "Why?"
She tried not to roll her eyes, but by the slight chuckles of Jake and Eric, she hadn't succeeded. "Because if you're out here, Sophie will want to eat out here." Then rolled her eyes to Jax and Tig. "And those two probably will as well." Giving both men a wry smile.
Jules shrugged. "That's fine." As Jules put out the joint she'd been smoking. "She can eat at the coffee table." Jules leaned back and closed her eyes with a slight twitch of her jaw. "I think I'm just gonna rest right here until someone hands me a plate."
"Okay." She turned and headed for the kitchen, trying to avoid asking what Jules called "doctor questions" earlier in the day. At the time she did point out since she was a doctor, all of her questions would be doctor questions. Jules had laughed and then reiterated that this wasn't her first go-around with this knee, she'd holler if it needed doctor questions.
Hearing footsteps behind her, she turned quickly, her heart jumping just a little before she remembered she was in a safe place.
"Just grabbing the kebabs for Pop. You okay?" Eric Lyons stepped towards the fridge.
"I think I'll be a little jumpy for a while." Realizing how true the statement was with a mildly sick feeling of anger in her stomach. "It's going to take a while before I stop looking over my shoulder."
Eric Lyons leaned on the fridge after setting the kebabs on the counter. "I imagine it will. But after the hospital, the only place that asshole is going is jail." Eric shrugged. "Granted it'll the protective custody since he is a law enforcement official." Eric looked out to the living room.
"You know Jules wants you to stay here tonight? Sleep on the couch that's in Soph's room right now." He looked back to her. "Might not be a bad idea." The tone of his voice showing his agreement with his sister.
She just nodded. "Jules' appointment at the hospital is pretty early and I told her I would go with her." She sighed slightly. "And I'm going to tell the hospital administrator that I am going to take the whole week off like they offered." Then blushed a little. "And probably make an appointment to talk to someone."
Jake's voice came from behind her. "Good." He reached across and took the plate of kebabs from his eldest. "That'll help."
"I'm a little surprised to hear that from..." Tara gave Jake a sideways glance.
"A biker?" Jake shrugged and nodded to Eric who took the kebabs back and headed out towards the grill. Jake turned back to her. "I have four kids who lost their mother young." Then a sad grimace crossed his face. "Had to do something after the third time Jules and Butch skipped school to spend all day at the cemetery." He shrugged again. "Counseling helped then and it'll help you now." Then a stern look came over Jake's face. "And yes, I'm a biker, but I'm also a father and a son, a husband and a brother, a business owner and citizen." He sighed. "No one is just one thing. You're a smart girl, you should already know that."
She stared down at her feet for a couple seconds feeling highly ashamed. She had done that, painted all bikers into a box so it was easier just to use the club for protection than just ask Jax for his help as a friend.
She looked back at Jake who had a small, understanding smile on his face. "Hon, I know a lot of what you think has more to do with when you were a kid than what you know as an adult. And sometimes when you come home that kid comes back more than you think it would." His smile grew a little. "And sometimes we don't notice it until someone else calls us on it."
She just nodded, afraid if she tried to talk she would start crying and possibly never stop. So many things over the last few months that she's just kept shoving aside because it was easier than actually dealing with them. All of the ways she has pushed people away while somehow still keeping them in her orbit.
"Hey, hey." Jake's voice went soft and he pulled her into his arms as she started to cry. "It's okay honey, let it all out." He rocked them back and forth, continuing to murmur the mantra that it would all be alright.
She cried for a few more minutes and as the tears started to slow, she heard footsteps outside the kitchen. She pulled away from Jake and wiped her eyes as Dennis came into the kitchen.
"Everything alright?" Looking between her and his father.
Jake looked at her. She gave Dennis a weak smile. "Yeah. Just one of those..." She tried to search for the words.
"Yeah." Dennis seemed to understand anyway. "Just came to see if you guys needed any help." He rolled his eyes with a smirk. "Gigantor won't let me near the grill."
"Eric." His father absentmindedly corrected. She nearly giggled. It sounded so rote. Then Jake grinned at his younger son. "And I don't blame him. You can help Tara finish up in here and I'll go check on your brother." Then turned to her with the same grin. "And if he's not helpful, kick him in the ass."
Jake strode from the kitchen to the patio as her and Dennis looked at each other.
"I'm really good at salads." Dennis offered with a grin.
"Then get to it." She smiled back, feeling a little lighter than she had before.
/
Jax laid in bed, unable to sleep. He'd been woken up by the dog a couple of houses down and just couldn't fall back to sleep. He thought about the rest of the evening after Tig and Jules' emotional… he didn't feel like it was a confrontation but probably the first of what would be many conversations that the two of them would be having.
If anything had shocked him it was how much Jake's attitude towards Tig changed. The two would never be best friends, but Jake was actually telling stories of the last six months of Jules and Soph's life, the months that Tig wouldn't have been able to get any intel on the girls.
Not long after dinner, Jake left to go crash at Clay and Gemma's. A few minutes after he left Tig and Dennis left to go to the clubhouse, Dennis muttering something about working on their project.
Red had stayed, saying he'd just crash on the couch. When he went to open his mouth to object, Red gave him a look that said 'shut it'. A little later Red had pulled him aside and reminded him that he was in a house with three traumatized females and it might just be for the best to have another person in the house. He couldn't really argue that point. He was kind of surprised at how well they all seemed to be handling things.
He was contemplating getting up for a glass of water when he felt Jules twitch next to him. Rolling over he could see the shine of tears on her face. He sighed softly as he shook her gently. "Babe." Her only response was a slight whimper. Rubbing his hand down her arm, he tried again. "Gotta wake up babe."
Blinking a couple of times, her eyes focused on him. He gave her a reassuring smile, and she promptly burst into tears. Trying to be mindful of her knee, he sat them both up and wrapped his arms around her while she sobbed. He's not sure how long they sat like that, letting her cry it out. When they started to slow down, he leaned down and kissed her temple. "Wanna tell me about it?"
"He could have..." Her voice trembling with tears. "He had a gun..." He ran his hand down her back and pressed his lips to her head, trying to give her strength or solace or both. He could feel her gulp in air. "She could have..." He stops her with a kiss, salty from her tears. He just can't bear to hear her say it. He knows what that asshole could have done.
"She's safe, right down the hall. You want me to get her and bring her in here with us?" He can understand if she wants to keep Sophie close for awhile. He doesn't have the visual burned into his brain like Jules does, but he knows that he's had to resist the urge to go check on Sophie a couple of times in the night.
He can feel Jules shake her head. "No. If she were having a bad night, we'd be able to hear it." They had brought the baby monitors from the club house. "Let her sleep." Jules lifted her head and looked at the clock on the nightstand. "Plus, it's after four. There's a good chance if we wake her up, she's gonna be up." Jules looked up at him, a tired almost smile on her face. "You wanna stay up with her if that happens?"
He shook his head with a weary chuckle. "Not especially." He wrapped his arms around her again. "You okay?" Not wanting to press her about her nightmare, but wanting to make sure that she knew he was willing to listen.
It took her a minute to answer. "Kind of." Slipped softly from her lips. "Now that we're safe, I'm mostly just angry." She pauses and he can almost hear her debating with herself on whether or not to continue. "I was so scared for those couple of days." She takes a deep breath and he holds her just a little tighter. "He was so… unstable. And I just knew if he decided to lose it, he'd hurt Sophie first." She stopped and took a shaky breath. "So I just had to sit there and try to stay awake and make sure he didn't hurt her and just hold my tongue and let him spew all that crap about Rip and my family in front of her and Sophie was so scared and not talking and trying not to cry and set him off and..."
He cut off her ramble with another kiss. "I know babe." He kissed her again. "But you two made it through that and that prick will get his in the end." Trying to ignore the fact that regardless of what happened to that asshole, Jules and Sophie would be bearing the emotional wounds for a little while no matter how okay they acted.
"Yeah." Was Jules soft reply. She sounded worn out.
"You want a glass of water before we try to go back to sleep, babe?" He asked while getting up out of bed.
"Yeah." Jules replied as she laid back down.
Slipping out of the bedroom, he made his way into the kitchen, trying to be as quiet as he could since Red was out on the living room couch. He took a few sips of the water before turning to head back to Jules. When he turned he noticed Red sitting up on the couch.
"Sorry man, didn't mean to wake you." Not mentioning the nightmare Jules had. He didn't want big brother to worry that he couldn't handle the tough stuff.
Red shook his head. "You didn't." He waved his cell phone. "This did. Lu and everybody have left Omaha." Red shrugged. "I forgot to turn the ringer off. Oh well, I'd be up if I were home anyway." As he stretched back out on the sofa. "Good thing I'm here, I can go back to sleep." Rolling over and pulling the blanket he was using over his head.
Chuckling softly, he went back to bed. Jules was already fast asleep, so he just sat the water on the nightstand next to her and got back into bed hoping to grab a couple more hours of sleep.
/
Eric threw the blanket off him when he heard the slight squeak of the bedroom door almost closing, He knew that Jules always left her bedroom door cracked so if Sophie needed in she could just push the door open.
He had woken up when Lu texted him around three-thirty California time to let him know they were on their way. Then he decided to do a check of the house, out of habit. He was just done checking on Sophie when he heard Jules crying in the bedroom. It had taken nearly all of his discipline to back away from the door and go back to the living room. He had sat on the couch feeling out of sorts. It had been his job since he was eight years old to comfort his sister when she was hurting. So he had sat there trying to come to terms with the fact that job now belonged to someone else.
He was still sitting there when Jax had come into the kitchen. He had wanted to ask about Jules but didn't want to admit how he knew she'd had a nightmare. And now that Jax had gone back to bed he was wide awake with nothing to do other than brood over the fact that his baby sister wouldn't need him as much as she once had.
As he was trying to turn his thoughts to something else, he heard movement in the hall coming towards him. He grinned, because he knew those little feet. Sure enough, when he turns there's that little mop of black curls. Leaning over, he grabs her and lifts her up onto the couch with him. "Hey Princess, why are you up so early?" Keeping his voice low.
"I dreamed I was eating ice cream and I woked up and I was hungry. Can I have some ice cream?" Sophie replied leaning into him.
He chuckled as he shook his head. "That would be a big no sweetheart." He grinned at her. "Your mommy would yell at both of us." He kissed her head. "Well, mostly me, but we don't want that do we?" Sophie shook her head. "Mommy had me and Uncle Den get some peanut butter granola bars, how about one of those?"
"Okay, Unca Red. Can I have milk?" He was so glad she was such an easy-going kid.
"You bet, kiddo. You wait here and I'll be right back." He quickly went and got both of them a granola bar and got Soph's milk and grabbed a water for himself. After getting them set up he turned to her. "What do you want to do? You wanna watch a movie on your computer?"
Soph shook her head. "Can we call Gramma?"
"Sorry, Princess. Grandma is driving right now." Thinking back to his conversation with Lu. "But we could call your Old Grandpa."
"Okay. I can tell him that Other Papa is gonna get a puppy for me to visit." As she munched on her granola piece he'd broken off for her.
"I'm sure he'd love to hear it." Not really, he thought to himself. Gramps hated Trager more than Pop did. He remembers Gramps and Ma going round and round over Pop adopting Jules the last couple years Ma was alive. Ma had been emphatic that if Trager knew he'd never allow that to happen. Then finding out about the deal that Rip made, that Trager had threatened court, well, Gramps was never gonna get over that.
He grabbed his cell off the coffee table and dialed Gramps, putting the phone on speaker.
"What now Eric?" Gramps gravel growl came into the room.
"Good morning Ol' Grampa!" Sophie chirped. "Guess what?! Other Papa is getting a puppy for me to visit since da baby was sick and we can't have one until Auntie Doctor Tara says a puppy won't make da baby sick no more! Isn't that the best Ol' Grampa?!"
He grinned at the 'Auntie' that had been added to Tara's doctor. He wasn't surprised. Sophie had so many 'Aunties' and 'Uncles' that any adult she felt a good connection to was bound to wind up with the honorific.
"It is, baby girl." Gramps trying to sound enthused. He was pretty sure it was Uncle Slim they heard laughing in the background. "It's pretty early out there honey, why are you up? 'Cause Ol' Gramps here just had his breakfast, so it still has to be dark where you are."
"I woked up hungry. 'Cause I was dreamin' I was eatin' ice cream. Unca Red said a big no to ice cream 'cause mommy will yell at him so he's givin' me a granla bar. It's peanut butter." Soph looked out the patio door. "It's still kinda dark here but not as dark as it was when I went and pottied." Slims' laughter got louder at the overshare. "Who's dat waffin'?" He made a mental note to go check the potty chair Jules had him and Dennis grab yesterday on their shopping spree.
"That's your Uncle Slim, sweetheart." Gramps sounding in a whole lot better of a mood.
"Oh. Hi Unca Slim! Hi Auntie Gwace!" Sophie's voice getting a little loud. He gave her a little nudge and quietly reminded her that the rest of the house was sleeping. She dropped the volume. "Hi Zack!"
Gramps must have put his phone on speaker also because Slim's voice was clearer than it had been. "It's just me with your Ol' Gramps, Princess. Auntie Grace is riding with your Grandma Lu. And Zach stayed home, baby, to take care of the restaurant. But I'll tell them you said hi."
"Okay." Sophie had finished her milk and sat her sippy cup on the coffee table. "Will you be here today? Mommy says you bringin' my stuff. I don' have no toys here." Sophie sighed and leaned into him. "I wanna show Daddy all my blocks and legos."
"Sorry sweetie, we won't be there today. We'll get there sometime tomorrow night." Gramps replied as they heard another phone go off in the background. "We gotta go, Grace is calling Slim. You behave for everyone, Baby Princess and we'll be there as quick as we can. Love you."
"I wov you too Ol' Grampa!" Sophie was blowing kisses at the phone like Gramps could see her.
"Eric, have your Dad call me later." Gramps directed him.
"Yeah. Be safe." And disconnected the call. He looked down at Sophie and realized that moments like this, just the two of them would be coming to an end. Pretty soon most of the family would be here and they would all want their time with the girls. He was going to have to take advantage while he could.
"Hey, Baby Princess." Sophie looked up at him. "I'm gonna go get dressed real quick and let Mommy know that we're goin' for a walk. We should test out your new stroller, yeah?"
Sophie nodded eagerly. "I get dressed too?"
Thinking about it for a second, he shook his head. "No. Your clothes are where Auntie Tara is sleeping. We don't want to wake her up." He looked at the footed pajamas she had on. "Your jammies are pretty warm and we'll take a blanket."
"Okay." He opened his phone and pulled up what he had labeled 'Soph's gallery' and handed her the phone. She already knew how to scroll through it. It had pictures of family and his dog and the things they saw on the hikes he'd taken her on.
"You look at that while I'm getting ready." Grabbing the jeans he'd worn yesterday and the clean shirt he'd grabbed when he'd briefly run back to the clubhouse yesterday afternoon to take a shower after getting the playset built.
After he was dressed he silently stole into Jax's bedroom. He rolled his eyes a little at the fact Jax didn't stir at all and Jules was the one to open an eye. Jax would learn the harsh lesson of the kids and no sleep equation soon enough.
He knelt down and whispered in Jules ear. "Takin' Soph for a walk. Be back in an hour or so."
She nodded sleepily and closed her eyes again. As he made it to the door, he barely heard Jax.
"Knock the next time."
He shook his head with a silent laugh and went and bundled Soph in her blanket, got her into the stroller and they headed out to explore Charming, leaving the others to their sleep.
A/N: Thanks to all who have favorited and followed this story, and to all that have taken the time to comment. I hope you are all safe in these uncertain times. Much love to you and yours.