A/N: Hi everyone! I hope you have had a wonderful weekend! I wanted to say thank you to all of my readers who responded to my last chapter. I would especially like to thank Skye-Blue 101 for the continued support! Just so you know, this chapter is somewhat short. Most of the upcoming chapters will be shorter because I think they will be easier to read. The good news is that I already have Chapter 9 done! I will post it sometime later this week. Don't forget to favorite and/or follow this story to be alerted when this story updates! I hope you like the chapter! Afterwards, I would love to know what you think! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: If I owned anything from OUAT, Zelena's munchkins would be doing my chores.
Chapter 8
In Emma's life, few moments pass by that she never forgets. The memories of Henry knocking on her door, fighting her first dragon, finding her parents, and the day she discovered Killian Jones under a piece of wood, are some that stand out. But Lily's astonished expression at the sight of Hook is one that Emma adds to her collection of unforgettable moments.
Her friend's eyes widen at the sight of the pirate as she fights the urge to leave her mouth dropped. With the warmth of Sir Kay's breath crawling down her neck, Lily composes herself and focuses on keeping their secret safe. One wrong move could prove fatal not only for Hook, but her chances of finding her father.
"He seems very feeble," Kay observes. "How long has he been like this?"
"He hasn't been feeling well the past couple of days," Emma responds, her features solid. "But he's gotten worse since last night."
She studies Kay's every move. As he ambles over to her and assesses Hook for himself, Emma's familiar walls shoot up, ready to strike at a moment's notice. Yet, his soft and polite disposition begins to assuage her fears. He soils his hands with sweat when he gently strokes Killian's forehead.
"He needs medicine," Kay declares, springing up from his bent position and heading for the door.
"Where are you going?" Lily asks.
"I'm going to get a wagon. We need to move him, fast. I suggest you pack up any supplies you might need. We're leaving."
"But—"
"Miss Lily," he interrupts. "I know you both barely know me, but the Dark One lurks in these woods. If he attacks, I don't want to come back and find you ladies without your hearts. Now, your friend is very sick, and if you want any chance of saving him, we must return to the heart of Camelot and civilization. Do you understand?"
"Yes," Lily nods.
When he gets acknowledgements from both maidens, Kay hurries out the door and races with his horse into the forest. When the sound of hooves clapping the earth fades into oblivion, Emma lets out a sigh of relief.
"Did it work?" she asks Maleficent's daughter.
"What?"
"The glamour spell, did it work?"
"Yeah," Lily replies, still processing Emma's final product. "It worked. But who is he?"
"It's Neal," The Savior answers, confused as to why her friend would ask such a question.
A scowl forms across the brunette's features. "Emma, I only just came back into your life a few days ago. I have no idea who "Neal" is."
Realizing that Lily never met Neal, Emma anticipates how difficult and awkward of an explanation she must give. "It's—It's my ex-boyfriend and Henry's father."
Lily's mouth gapes open. "You turned Hook into your ex?!"
"It's not like I had a lot of time to put a lot of thought into it," Emma shrugs.
Horror and disgust distort Lily's features. "You are sick."
"Look," the Savior explains. "We need Hook to look like someone that no one in Camelot knows, and who also couldn't come blow our cover. Neal died a few months ago and hasn't been seen around these parts for years. He's the perfect disguise."
Shaking her head, Lily blinks her eyes repeatedly. "Why can't I see him as Hook?"
"I don't know," Emma answers, puzzled. "I still see him. I guess only the person who cast the spell and the person who wears the spell are immune from its power."
Frustration creases Lily's forehead. She decides to lounge across the chair and glare at some bird feeding its young outside the window. As Emma places a rag across Hook's countenance, she sees her friend's attempts to conceal her anger.
"I could so use a drink right now," Lily groans. "I've had enough of all these crazy spells and magic daggers to last me a lifetime."
"I'm sorry for dragging you into all of this," Emma says, trying to ease the tension that thickens the air.
"Don't be. It wasn't like you were trying to tear me away from my mom. I know you don't want me here anyway."
Those words catch Emma's attention. Looking up from her pirate towards the chair, she proclaims, "I never said that."
Lily's orbs roll as she spins her countenance towards her oldest friend. "Oh, come on Emma. I'm not an idiot. You and I both know if you had the choice, you would've chosen to bring Regina, or even your parents. I mean, they have magic and experience fighting mythical forces and evil Dark Ones. And what do I have? Nothing. I'm just a high school dropout and runaway who waits tables and hopes that I'll make just enough to keep a roof over my head."
Emma's face cowers to the ground, realizing her friend doesn't think that she even cares. "Lily, you are more than that. You have magic. You just don't know how to use it."
"Emma, how could you know?! You haven't seen me in years. Maybe I have some powers, but where have they gotten me? All I can do is turn into a monster."
Watching the spread of pain from Lily's insecurities rise to the surface causes Emma to confess, "Okay, I'll be honest. I wouldn't have chosen you, but now, there isn't anyone else I want to be with."
"Really?"
Emma nods. "Lily, you are my oldest friend and you understand me in ways no one else does. You know where I've come from, what I've been through. And I wish more than anything that things could've turned out better for the both of us."
"It did for you," Lily shrugs. When she finds doubt being raised in Emma's pair of emeralds, she explains, "You have a family, friends, and someone who loves you."
"Yeah," Emma sighs.
Lily starts to sense Emma becoming melancholy. "Hey, we're going to save Hook."
"But if we can't?"
"What do you mean?"
"Don't you get it? Killian is in this comatose state because of the darkness. Last night while you were sleeping, I talked to him. During our conversation, he seemed to be trying to remember, just before he seized. What if this keeps happening? What if every time I get close to him, the darkness just pulls him further away?"
Leaning over Hook, Lily comes and wraps her hand around Emma's. "We don't know what will happen. But no matter what comes, you have to believe that Killian is still in there, fighting to get back to you."
Before Emma says anything else, the noise of Sir Kay's horse trotting up to the house silences their conversation. The friends hurry outside to meet the knight on the porch.
"I ran into some villagers a mile or so down the road," he says, explaining his quick return. "I have a wagon which should be able to transport your friend to the castle."
"The castle?" Emma questions, not sure if she uses a tone of surprise or disappointment.
"Why, yes," Kay answers. "You are visitors to our land, are you not? King Arthur always welcomes his guests. Not to worry, your friend will be in good hands."
Knowing it would be rude to reject the knight's invitation and that they must be careful to not arouse any suspicion, Emma glances at Lily. Though they remain unsure of whether or not to follow Kay's request, they have no choice.
Forcing her best faux smile, Emma nods. "Then lead the way."
As day turns to night, the dreary clouds looming over Storybrooke unleash their tears. They resemble those shed by Regina as she drives alone from the heart of Main Street into the woods. Her cellphone nestled in her pocket hums repeatedly, but she doesn't have the heart to answer.
Today solidifies itself as one of the hardest days for Regina in recent memory. Not only do her efforts to travel to Camelot prove fruitless, but she endured Zelena ripping open her hidden wounds and insecurities for all to see. As much as she wishes she could be as optimistic as her son, Regina knows what she plans to do next will be her greatest challenge yet.
Raindrops splash down and splatter against her windshield, as she stops the car on the side of the road and begins her trek into the forest. When the stinging breeze brushes her face, the mayor regrets not bringing her wooly coat. She never favored the forest or the outdoors, always preferring to keep her heels clean and enjoy the warmth of her wood-burning fireplace. However, she knows that while she prefers the concrete jungle, her thief calls the tall stalks of lumber his home.
Anxiety sweeps through her bones as Regina grips the pole of her umbrella tighter. With the chaos suffocating her heart, she stands unprepared to confront her greatest pain. She wishes she could discuss her issues with Robin at a more convenient time, but feels the pressure escalating. Gathering her courage, Regina marches forward into the Merrymen's camp.
The impending storm forces all of the Merrymen to seek shelter in their tents, but she spies her thief still tending the blazing fire. Sparks sail into the air as Robin of Locksley sharpens his faithful arrows. When Regina accidentally cracks a stick under her heel, the thief's sapphire irises dart towards her.
"Oh, Regina!" he says, his steady frame relaxing. "I wasn't expecting you."
"I'm sorry," she replies. "I know it's late, but can we talk?"
"Of course," Robin nods, placing his weapons beside his tent. "Roland's asleep, so I don't want to wander too far from the camp. Perhaps, the watchtower? We would be sheltered from the rain."
"That sounds fine."
Regina wraps her hand around Robin's as he escorts her to the nearby watchtower. With every step, her heart grows weaker, and she hates herself for it. When chaos and calamity stumble across the town line, she is the one who keeps their composure. She forces herself to keep her emotions intact when everyone else cannot. She is Storybrooke's leader, the one they count on to rescue them when trouble comes from every corner.
Since the moment Emma gave her the shred of hope, Regina desperately works to earn her happy ending. But today, Zelena proved to her once and for all that no matter what the outcome, her arrow will never find its target. She will never be able to give Robin his happy ending—her happy ending.
When they arrive and climb into the watchtower, Regina desperately tries to hold back her tears. The enclosure feels cramped, with only enough comfortable room for two people. From their perch in the timbers, Regina and Robin treat themselves to a breathtaking view of the Merrymen's settlement and even the heart of Storybrooke's woodlands. In the darkness that blankets the area and casts a shadow over her face, Robin's piercing orbs discern her inward torment.
"Regina, what's wrong?"
It takes the mayor a few moments to confess her agony. "I—I can't do this."
Robin's face contorts and fills with confusion. "What are you talking about?"
"All of this!" she cries. "I—I just can't deal with everyone looking to me to have all of the answers!"
Always reliable, the Merrymen's leader attempts to ameliorate the Queen's concern. "Listen, we've all had a pretty rough few days, especially with Hook being the Dark One. But nevertheless, we will survive this. We always do. No one is asking you to have all of the answers."
"Really?! Then why do I keep finding looks of desperation on the Charmings' faces? Why do I have Maleficent screaming in my face to find her daughter? And why is Zelena knocking me down and making me feel like a failure every chance she gets?"
"I—"
"See! That's exactly my point! With Emma gone and Gold unconscious, Everyone's looking to me, even Henry. I have to figure out how to get to Hook and Merlin on my own. I—I just feel alone."
Robin wraps his arm around Regina's waist. "You are not alone."
"I can't do it Robin," she says, shaking her head. "I've scoured my vault, read every spell book in my collection, and tried every concoction of magic, but I can't create a portal. I've failed."
"No, you haven't!" he reassures her. "We'll find another way."
"No! We can't! Without the Apprentice's wand that Emma took, there is only one way over. And—I can't make that decision."
The thief's eyebrows shoot up as his features twist with more bewilderment. "What do you mean? What are you talking about?"
Silent sobs wrack Regina's chest. Enormous pain pulses through her body as the knots in her stomach squeeze tighter. She wishes that, somehow, there was another way.
"Zelena has magical slippers that can get us to Camelot," she explains. "But she hid them. And the only way she will give them up is if we take off her cuff, promise to leave her alone, and let her leave the realm—with the baby."
The heartbreak that spreads across the thief's features nearly kills Regina. He gasps, desperate to reclaim the wind knocked out of his lungs. When he does, Robin's sharp azure eyes resemble the pouring thunder clouds. Steadying himself, he presses his features and closed eyes against Regina's, sensing her soft breath wisp across his lips.
"And she said she'll give you the shoes?"
"Robin—"
"Is that what she said?!"
A tear escapes the rim of Regina's eye. In her lover's arms, she trembles.
"Yes."
An everlasting silence casts its spell upon the couple. How Regina wishes they could stay in the watchtower and forget the looming threats outside the door. With each passing moment, Robin's grip on her nape grows stronger. Finally the thief's rare waterfalls flow with tears.
"Then give her what she wants."
"Robin—"
"I mean it Regina! You have to save Merlin. You have to help Emma and rescue Hook."
"No!" she shouts. "I'm not asking you to do this."
"You didn't have to," he groans.
Shaking her head, Regina looks at him in disbelief. "You can't do this!"
"This is not your decision to make."
"I am not going to let you hand your child to the Wicked Witch on a silver platter."
Robin snaps at her, "If we don't do this, everything—everyone we love could be destroyed!"
"You are not abandoning that baby!"
"Why do you care so much about this?" Robin questions with anger rising in his tone.
"Because that child is something I can never give you!"
Immediately, anger transforms into shock across Robin's features. Regina kicks herself for letting her deepest secret slip and awakening the hidden beast. Her hurt deems itself ready to face the light, and there is nowhere for the former Evil Queen to hide.
"What do you mean?" he asks. "Regina?"
It takes several large gulps of air for her to resist the urge to run. Knowing her lover deserves an answer, Regina finally admits, "I—I can never have children."
Crestfallen, Robin releases his grip on his Queen and wipes the tears from his eyes. Staring out into the horizon, he can't bear to even look at her. The evident pain she inflicts upon him suffocates Regina with regret and sorrow.
"Why didn't you ever tell me?" he mumbles.
All of her excuses die in her mouth. What can she say? If only she could reverse time and take back her words. But she knows that sooner or later, the truth squirms its way to the surface. Regina just wishes it came out at any other moment than this.
"I couldn't," she replies. "Years ago, I drank a potion that prevents me from ever being able to conceive. I moved on. I tried to forget. When we fell in love, I thought that with Roland and Henry, we could create our own little family—our happy ending. But then I overheard you talking to Hook the other night about how much you wanted us to have a child of our own."
"Regina—"
"I want to give you everything!" she sobs. "I'd give you the world if I could. I would give anything to go back and fix my mistake."
With her emotions released, Regina welcomes the awkward silence that echoes through the forest. She wrestles with her inner demons as she glares into the distance, silently drowning in her tears. The raindrops that shatter and the crackles from the diminishing fire are the only noises that pass her eardrums.
She wonders if the thief still loves her. Unlike most people, Robin chose from the beginning to ignore her shortcomings and her horrific past. But when a silent tear trickles down his somber face, Regina sees that her deepest regret becomes his deepest wound.
"I should've stopped Hook," she mumbles to herself, brushing off her tears and capturing Robin's attention.
"What?" he quietly asks, turning his head.
"Maybe that's how it was meant to be. I've gotten so many things wrong in my life, I mean, maybe I deserved to have an evil tornado destroy me."
"No," the thief quickly disagrees, to her surprise. "Regina—do you know why the darkness chose you?
"Because I am the weakest? I mean, I have the darkest past."
"No, that's not it," he replies, trying to find a way to express his thoughts. "Do you remember when we met? You were so distraught over losing your son."
"I nearly put myself in a sleeping curse," Regina remembers.
"And I tried to stop you because I saw something in you. When you told me about Henry, I thought about what an amazing mother you must be. You gave up everything to save your son. Since then, I've watched you leave your dark past behind and change for the better. And I know that even through all the ups and downs we've endured, your love for Henry never wavers."
"So what's your point?"
"Regina, don't you get it?! The darkness didn't choose to destroy you because you are the weakest. It chose you because you are the strongest of us all. You are so fiercely loyal to those you love, the darkness had to break the person that holds us all together."
As Robin's hand caresses Regina's cheek, she spies a heartbreaking smile growing on the thief's disposition. "I love you, Regina. I love you for all of your faults, your regrets, and your past. I love the person that you are, and no matter what comes between us, I will always love you."
If Regina had any doubt, it disappears as her lips become entangled in the thief's. His soft touch feels intoxicating and makes her forget about all of her troubles. His warmth mixed with the aroma of pine and smoke against her lips makes her wish they could stay this way forever. Alas, with the sound of thunder roaring in the distance, they separate, each knowing that their priorities call out to them.
"I better go," Regina says, darting towards the ladder that leads to the ground. But before her foot slaps the soggy wood, she hears his voice.
"Regina," Robin whispers, causing her to spin around.
"Yes?"
"We're going to win this."
The smirk illuminated by his pair of sapphires causes Regina to return his contagious optimism.
"I know we will."
A/N: Yippee! Chapter 8 is complete! I really liked writing this chapter. Don't worry, loves. CaptainSwan will be reunited very soon! The royal ball is the next chapter and we will finally get to see Emma as a princess! Chapter 9 will be up later this week. I would love to hear your thoughts about the chapter in a PM or review! Don't forget to favorite and/or follow this story!
Until next time!
C.M. Singer:)