A/N: Hi Everyone! Long time, no see, right? Sorry about that. I have been so busy with school and my recent finals. I just want to express my gratitude to those who have read, reviewed, and responded to this story so far, especially to my last chapter. I really appreciate all of you. I hope this chapter was worth the wait. Afterwards, I would love to hear your thoughts about it. Reviews, critiques, and questions are always greatly appreciated and welcomed. Anyway, enough about me. Let's do this—Chapter Fourteen!
Disclaimer: If I owned anything of OUAT, all of Regina's dresses would be my wardrobe of choice.
This chapter is dedicated to my wonderful fan—The Imitation Wizard! Thank you for your review! I hope you enjoy the chapter!
Chapter 14
The strain of the squeaking rocking chair echoes throughout the cottage. The warmth of the blazing fire barely cracks the chill that settles deep into Lily's bones. Her dress feels as soaked as the Atlantic's bottomless waters, and just as cold. To her, countless nights outside in Minnesota winters seem like a midsummer's day compared to this. Sacrificing their minimal amount of blankets to the Savior, Lily's only hope for warmth is a pair of flames and kindling.
As she acquaints herself with the hearth and its embers, her oldest friend rests on the cot across the room. Robed in every blanket they could find, Emma nestles in a cocoon of warmth. Her sickly pale skin, tattered strands of blond, blue lips, and tear-stained cheeks describe the toll this entire ordeal takes on her. Though her wounds may be healed, Emma appeared exhausted as she burned through every resource of her energy. Both of her rescuers have many unanswered questions, but agree that for now, the best medicine for the Savior is a dose of much needed rest.
Since the storm and bitter cold impede their journey back to King Arthur's castle, Maleficent's daughter and her companions take shelter in the nearby childhood home of Sir Kay and King Arthur himself. It is a small establishment, with only planks of oak and tar separating them from the elements, but Lily knows it is an upgrade compared to the Apprentice's shabby and ill-equipped structure. The absence of the rain pelting her skin is a welcomed change.
While Emma sleeps, Lily watches over her. Despite her own fatigue, she can't close her eyes. The only Emma they reflect is one that bleeds out and and dies right in front of her. At least this way, she won't have nightmares.
Never letting her gaze leave Emma, Lily doesn't even notice the knight of the Roundtable pouring something from the kettle over the fire into a mug.
"Lily? Are you alright?"
"Oh," she says, startled. "Sorry. I guess that I'm just—tired."
The knight kindly reveals his sympathetic understanding. "Indeed, I think we're all in a bit of a daze from tonight's events."
"We never did find Kil—Neal."
"But we found Emma," Kay reminds her. "Because of you, she is alive. And don't worry. We'll find your friend. Who knows? Maybe a patrol closer to the castle has already picked him up. I bet you he's probably safe and warmer than we are right now."
In spite of Kay's reassurance, Lily worries about the pirate. What will she tell Emma when she wakes up? That they still haven't found him? The walls cave in around her, making Lily's head spin.
While she shivers and tries to balance the weight of the world on her shoulders, the knight fills another mug and extends it in her direction. "Thank you," she obliges, before taking a sip of the warm drink.
"It's bitter wine with some ground herbs," Kay answers, seeing the question plastered on her features. "It's something my father used to make for me as a little boy whenever I was sick. Always seemed to do the trick."
"Sir Ector gave you and Arthur wine as kids?" Lily chuckles. "I wish he would've been my dad."
"He isn't as great as everyone thinks he is," Kay confesses, surprising her. "I mean to everyone, he's Sir Ector, Knight of the Roundtable, perhaps its greatest, second to Lancelot. But growing up, he was my master. When I was a little boy, he forced me to spend hours training in the arts of weaponry and earning an education. My tutors were the greatest scholars he could find and I learned more than most people do in a hundred lifetimes. Against my mother's wishes, my father invested all of his efforts—and all of our wealth into me, just so I could do one thing."
"Become the king," Lily realizes.
The knight takes a sip of his own mug before he nods, "Indeed. You see, he loves Arthur, better than most stepfathers love their stepchildren, but neither of us ever imagined him becoming a king. My father wanted his blood on the throne, so he placed his greatest hopes on my shoulders. My mother used to tell me that when I was an infant, he'd sit in this chair and tell me, 'One day, Kay. One day, my son, you will be the king that Camelot waits for, and the one it deserves.' I spent hours preparing for that one moment. All I had to do was to pull Excalibur out of the stone and I would claim everything my father ever wanted."
"Your father trained you to pull out a two pound sword?" Lily questions, sarcasm in her tone.
"It isn't about strength, Lily. That is only part of it. To pull Excalibur, one must prove himself worthy of wielding its power. The sorcerer Merlin placed it in the stone with the intention of Camelot's rightful king removing it to fulfill the prophecy and claim his birthright. I spent years proving to my father and Camelot that I was worthy of being the chosen one. When that day came, when everyone gathered in front of the stone to see their long awaited king take his throne, my entire life came down to one moment, and—I failed."
The air grows somber as Lily spies the pain that hides behind the knight's smoldering eyes. She recognizes the all too familiar anguish in his grimace. It reminds her of everything that life denies her: a family, a home, a place where she belongs, all because Snow White and Prince Charming decided that Emma's life was more valuable than hers.
"I tried to remove it for over an hour," Kay tells her. "All of Camelot was there. And you know what they did? They laughed at me. I was humiliated, not only by them, but by my father."
The knight fights to keep his features solid. "You should've seen him, Lily. He was so disappointed. I remember his stare, so much it still gives me chills. He became as cold as his heart. And in that moment, while the crowds mocked and laughed at my failure, it only took one look at him and I knew. He was ashamed to call me his son."
"Kay, I'm so sorry."
"It's like I said," he continues, desperate to hide his pain. "When Arthur tried and successfully pulled out Excalibur, he became my father's favorite son. I just—despite how much I hate him for putting me through hell, all I've ever wanted is to prove myself and make him proud. But since that day, we've barely spoken. He even took off for a couple of years and returned to Camelot, just before the Dark Curse. When we greeted him at the castle gates, he didn't even look at me. Instead, all of his praise and attention went to Arthur. I guess it's because he saved my father's reputation. But that day forever tarnished my standing."
"Because Arthur stole it from you." Lily discerns.
"It's not like that—"
"Yeah, that's what everyone says," she scoffs, surprising the knight. "You say it doesn't matter, that you're not mad. But eventually, you figure out that the thing you've been telling yourself for years is a lie. At least, I did."
"What do you mean?"
Shaking her head, Maleficent's daughter declares, "We're not that different, you know. I had a destiny too, probably not as big or important as yours, but—it was mine."
Lily drinks several gulps of her wine before staring back at Kay. "When I was a baby, before I was even born, someone forever altered my destiny by stealing me from my parents."
"Wait—what? I'm confused. How is that possible?"
Lily must keep herself guarded and protect the secret she shares with Emma. At the same time, however, having someone willing to listen to her feels refreshing. For too long she hides her anger and insecurities. When she does expose them, she only meets backlash.
She can't describe it, but Lily feels a connection between her friendly host and finds her walls crumbling. With a deep breath, she dares to ask, "Can you keep a secret?" When the knight nods, Lily tells him, "I am half-dragon. My father, I assume, is a dragon, and my mother is Maleficent, a powerful sorceress in the Enchanted Forest."
"Which is why you have magic," Kay understands, putting the pieces together. "And why you could heal Emma."
"Yeah," Lily responds. "Who knows what kind of life I could've had with them, both of my parents? But when I was still a hatchling, Emma's parents took me from my mother and transferred all of Emma's potential for darkness into me."
"Why?" Kay questions.
"Because," Lily starts, before stopping herself. Careful to protect Emma, she then explains, "It was because they wanted their daughter to have her best chance. They wanted her to be good, brave, kind, and gentle, just like they are. But as long as she harbored a potential for darkness, they would always live in fear that Emma could succumb to its power. So—in order to keep her safe, they gave her darkness to me."
"That's awful."
"They stole my life and my light. They sent me to a land without magic to live without my family. Everywhere I went, it's like—there was this dark cloud over me, one that I could never escape from. Nothing worked out for me. Even my adopted family hated me. After awhile, I was beaten enough times and slammed against enough walls for me to understand that—that I would never belong."
Neither of them speak. Tthere is no emotion in Lily's voice. Rather, she holds emptiness in her heart, like a trampled flower with no hope of ever blooming again.
When she catches the knight looking towards the sleeping Savior, Lily clarifies, "I don't blame Emma for what her parents did. I used to, for many years. But then I realized that my hate hurt worse than it could ever feel for her parents. Ironically, we actually both ended up having hard lives, growing up separated from our families. Now, things have changed. She's found her family and someone to love."
"Neal."
"Yeah," Lily smiles. "She's on the verge of getting her happy ending, and now I hope to find mine too."
"At least you can," the knight mumbles with slight jealousy.
His tone amazes her. "Wait—are you mad at Arthur?"
"No, of course not," Kay replies. "And Arthur is a good king. The people adore him, worship him even. After they crowned him king, he told me he was sorry, knowing how hard I worked and what great loss I felt. That's why I believe he invited my father and I to join his royal court and the Roundtable, to make amends. Still, sometimes I wish I was the one the people would throw middlemist petals to whenever I walk into the room."
"Kay, you are still a good person," Lily assures him. "One man's prophecy doesn't define your future."
Regardless of their power, those words do not seem to penetrate the knight's heart. The fire fades until its embers provide the only light in the cottage. It pitifully crackles as silence makes itself known. By now, the rain becomes puddles outside the door and the night grows stagnant. The herbs turn cold in their bath of wine. Though Emma rests peacefully, chaos travels through the minds of the maiden and her knight.
Reaching into her dress, Lily unveils her moon-shaped necklace in the shadows. "See this? It's a part of the my hatchling shell that I've had since I was a baby. Growing up, it was the only clue I had to figuring out who my parents were, who I was. But after awhile, I despised it. It reminded me of the fact that I was abandoned. Even when I found out the truth, I still harbored as much hate for my parents as I did for Emma's. But it wasn't until a few days ago that I finally realized something."
"And what was that?' Kay asks, tending the fire to restore their source of warmth.
To his surprise, he finds his newest friend placing her soft fingers upon his hand. With a sad smile, she reveals, "I've wasted so much time being angry and bitter towards the people who've hurt me. I now know that the best form of revenge I can give them is to move on and live my life to the fullest."
"You make it sound so easy."
"Believe me, I know it's not," Lily acknowledges. "But there comes a point when you have to let go and choose to be happy. Kay, if you can't be Camelot's king, at least show its people you deserved it."
The warmth of the fire dances across Lily's features, highlighting the auburn in her irises. Her heart unexplainably beats out of her chest. It isn't until she peers into the eyes of the knight that she feels the tension growing. Despite their differences, a connection sprouts between the two lost souls.
It is sudden, like a quiet wind that rushes through the grass on a warm summer night. His hand caresses her cheek one moment and then before Lily even realizes it, her eyelids close to meet his lips. His touch feels rough, yet gentle. While his hands become entangled in her hair, his kiss tastes like a raging fire that resembles her own. Though uncertainty looms outside their door, for just a moment, Maleficent's daughter loses herself in the sensation of his breath-stealing kisses.
Moans from Emma suddenly curtail the knight and maiden's passion. Though her heart begs for more, her head reminds her to be cautious. Lily stiffens, rising from her seat to check on her oldest friend. Assured that Emma's condition still improves, Lily notices the late hour.
"I think it's best we turn in," she suggests. "We've got a long day tomorrow."
"Indeed," the knight agrees. "Well, goodnight."
"Goodnight."
Heading towards the bed to join Emma, Maleficent's daughter stops in her tracks when she hears his voice.
"Lily."
Turning around, the maiden becomes captivated by his glittering irises. "Yes?"
"For what it's worth, I don't see you as a monster."
Despite her best intentions, Lily cannot hide the slight smile that grows on her face. To those words, she grins.
"And I don't see you as a knight."
The glow of the approaching sunrise illuminates the cavern of darkness. The droplets that drip from the ceiling become a soft hum in the Dark One's ears. Even as he twists the strands of rope every which way, tying sailor knots does nothing to ease his inner anguish.
The past few hours culminate and become the longest night Killian remembers. Time seems to be a shadow, passing by without him caring. Every second, the darkness tries to drown him in his sorrow, and every second his head flounders above the surface.
His hand feels raw and droplets of his blood splatter the knots, but he refuses to stop working. Threading the rope from one knot to another slices his fingers, but at least he feels the pain. Any distraction from thinking about the Savior and his guilt, even if it slashes his hand to shreds, he welcomes. She's gone, erased from existence, and he didn't even get to say goodbye.
It should've been him. He loves the Savior so much that he took the darkness for her. Now, when she needed him most, he chose not to save her. He would take every arrow in the world to his chest if it meant she could live and get her happy ending. Though he chose not to intervene and stay in his chains for the benefit and protection of all, guilt smashes Killian's heart into thousands of pieces.
Every once in awhile, he catches himself saying her name. It is so quiet, a person next to him would've never heard it; but when the word, "Emma" escapes his lips, the broken pirate momentarily feels whole. It only takes a second for reality to punch him in the gut and remind him that now and forevermore, his Swan is gone.
"Oh don't look so down, Captain," the demon's voice squeals, strolling into the light. The hateful glee in his tone slithers its way under the pirate's skin, making him squirm.
The Dark One ignores his constant companion as he continues tying and untying his sailor knots, much to the annoyance of the demon. "Cheer up! There's someone here to see you."
At those words, the pirate stares up at his captor, but finds that the demon disappears. In his place, a large figure commands the Dark One's attention. Any beams of light race for cover as darkness spreads through the cavern. Only a tiny flame from the mysterious figure's torch illuminates the space. The air thickens as Killian strains his bloodshot sapphires to distinguish his guest's hidden features.
"Well, if it isn't the powerful and mighty Dark One," the voice mocks.
The flickering tone sounds like a sickening screech in the Dark One's ears. There is no way to distinguish the voice's owner. Goosebumps emerge across his skin and sweat drips down his forehead. When the figure steps out from the shadows, the raven-colored mask across their face aids their voice in concealing their identity.
"Who are you?" Killian questions.
"The one who now controls your fate," the figure replies, revealing something in their hand.
His dagger
"But how? Emma—"
"I stole it from the Savior, right from under her nose."
The thought of someone taking advantage of Emma makes the Dark One seethe, "You're a monster!"
"I think we both know who the real monster is," his master retorts. "Did you know that I've watched you since you arrived in Camelot? The way you burned the villages and slaughtered those innocent people—well! I am impressed! It shows me what great potential you have. But then you nearly threw it all away because of your lover's pitiful pleas."
"You killed her!" Killian exclaims, not hiding his rage.
"Ah yes, poor Emma. A tragic, but necessary elimination."
"Why couldn't you have just left her alone? I would've done whatever you ask. I would've done anything to keep her safe."
"Really?!" the master scoffs. "Ha! I doubt that. Admit it, Captain Hook. You've gone soft. As long as Emma lived, your hope and resolve remained. And even when you couldn't remember who she was, she gave you something to fight for."
"And she still does," the Dark One responds, grief mixing with his anger.
"Not for long."
The Dark One finds the tip of his dagger resting on his stubbled chin. "I feel your anger growing," his tormenter crackles, his mask undoubtedly hiding a smile. "Do you remember the last time you lost your lover? That hatred, that thirst for revenge and bloodlust you felt the moment Rumplestiltskin crushed your lover's heart; that is what kept you alive for so long. It is now a part of you. It's always been apart of you. You can say you're a hero and that you've changed, but deep down, you and I both know that you'll always be a villain."
The lump in the pirate's throat swells, as does his captor's tormenting. "If you were really the hero you claim to be, you would've been Emma's. You should've seen the look on her face when I killed her. Her screams echoing through the forest, her cries for help—"
"Stop!" he screams, his features twisting with pain. "I don't want to hear it!"
"Oh, but you will!" the master hisses. "As every part of her body grew numb and countless tears rolled down her face, I saw the depths of despair in her eyes. She was counting on you to save her—but you didn't."
The Dark One feels his heart beating faster than a drum. He chokes on the tears that slip from his eyelids, blinding his vision. Nightmares of Emma suffering plague his soul, and he knows that they will never leave. His reality turns into a living hell, one that he wishes he could wake up from. When his waterfalls run dry, he looks at his hand to find a horrific sight.
His bloody flesh now resembles that of his greatest enemy. Like the Crocodile, golden scales plaster his hand and spread up his skin towards his neckline. Staring at them makes Killian's stomach churn.
"What is this? What have you done to me?!" the Dark One shouts.
His chains shake violently, but the pirate's master only laughs. "That, Captain, is all your doing." Seeing that Killian still doesn't understand, the figure continues, "Do you really think you are strong enough to resist the darkness? Ha! You may be able to keep it at bay for now, but eventually, it overcomes."
"I won't let it," Killian promises, refusing to let the scars of his past actions define his future. "Not again."
"Oh Captain," the figure responds. "Let me tell you what I know. Eventually, your skin will become like your hand and your heart will turn darker, until one day, no one will remember the man Killian Jones was before he became the Dark One. Your name will live in infamy because you'll only be remembered for the lives you took, not the ones you saved. And once and for all, when you reach that deepest chasm of despair, when nothing but pain and anger fill your bones, that pitiful hero will vanish from existence. Why? Because the darkness always wins."
With those words, the pirate's spirit spirals. The inevitable outcome of becoming everything he hates presses on his skull. If only Emma were here. She would know what to say. She would be his sextant, his guide through this hell. All he desires is to hear her voice promising him that the light of their love remains stronger than anything. Though rage and hatred pulse through his veins, despair reigns in the Dark One's soul.
After what seems to be an eternity, the pirate's captor finally obtains their desired level of amusement. The taunting and torture ends with a plate of stale bread and cold beans kicked within arms reach of the Dark One. As the sound of rocks crunching beneath their boots echoes through the cave, the master calls out to the prisoner, "Enjoy tying those knots! I will be back!"
With the figure's exit, all light fades from Killian's prison. In his complete darkness, he feels stranded like a ship on the high seas, with rolling waves sinking his heart. In his desperation, he closes his eyes, recalling the thing he misses more than anything in all the realms.
He craves to see her contagious smile, her sparkling emeralds, and feel her lips against his own just one more time. Though the darkness' voices scream their vengeful thoughts into the crevices of his mind, Killian holds onto his memories of Emma for dear life.
For they are the only beacons of hope left in his heart.
A/N: Poor Killian! He's fading fast! But on another note, Chapter Fourteen is complete! I really liked writing it and exploring Kay and Lily's characters more. By the way, since we're so far along in the story, how are you guys liking Lily? Love her? Hate her? Anything I could do to improve? I personally love giving her some depth that I feel she lacked on the show. On another note—Killian met his master! Any guesses on who it is? I'm trying not to spoil it, but I can't wait for you to find out. I would love it if you took a few moments to let me know your thoughts about this chapter and the story so far. Next time we'll get some more action from Emma. I know she hasn't been the center of attention the last couple of chapters, but that will change. Another CaptainSwan centered chapter is coming very soon! You're not going to want to miss it! I'm about halfway done with Chapter 15, so I hope to have an update for you guys by next week. Don't forget to favorite and/or follow this story if you haven't already, so you can be the first to know when I update! Thank you for your support!
Until next time!
C.M. Singer:)