Olivia's sofa had become somewhat of a refuge – no, that was the wrong word. Refuge implied happiness or at the very least security and Lucy definitely didn't feel secure. She managed to keep it together for the two weeks that she and Peter had been grounded for sneaking onto the mission to Peru, but as soon as she could go to sleepovers at Olivia's again, she went back to her old ways. It wasn't as if she hadn't been drinking at all during that time – Liv seemed to have a caught a "no fuck's given" attitude for the past few weeks as well and they skipped classes to hang out and drink. Obviously, none that Lucy shared with Wanda or Peter, because she knew exactly that even the spider would get worried about her. Lucy herself didn't think she was acting out – her parents were dead and she was growing up; it was just a normal part of life. Nat must've realized by now that the sleepovers weren't rainbows and cookies but Lucy started caring less and less. The more she got out and drunk with the girls, she easier it was to forget everything going on at the tower. That place used to be a safe space, somewhere she finally felt happy and at home but in the past few months it only served as a constant reminder that her parents were dead. Before Lucy joined the Avengers, no one cared about her family – her mother had done a good job removing herself from Peggy and Shield. She couldn't shake the feeling that Hydra targeted the Rutherfords because she drew attention to them by selfishly only thinking of herself and how training with the others would make her happy. But, she thought to herself, what's done was done, so she just drowned any more thoughts in that direction with the rest of the whiskey in her tumbler.
"We're thinking of calling over Simon, Dylan and a few others." Olivia suddenly appeared at the back of the sofa and Lucy twisted back to look at the brunette girl, no expression on her face.
"Harry might come too," Olivia added carefully but couldn't hide the amused glint in her eyes.
Lucy just sighed and rolled her eyes, too intoxicated and too lethargic to care. "Sure, whatever."
Olivia grinned. "You might actually gonna have some fun tonight."
She turned on her heel and nodded towards Heather who giggled and pressed her phone to her ear.
Lucy sighed and got up to fill her glass once more and when she returned to the sofa, Olivia had seated herself next to her, smiling politely.
"Why do you wanna distract yourself anyway? You haven't got anything terrible going on, have you?"
Olivia just shrugged. "Do I need something specific to distract myself from? Life is dull enough, really only bearable drunk and we might as well invite the guys to drown their sorrows too."
Lucy could only agree with her. Had she not always had the drive to step into her grandma's footsteps and the example of Tony and Nat to follow, she would've felt the exact same way. In fact, she was sliding down that path right now, she could feel it deep inside.
The door to the penthouse opened and Olivia grinned as she sat up straight, watching the boys come in. One of them made their way directly to the couch, having spotted the two girls immediately.
"What a beautiful night and what two beautiful ladies," he gave them a dashing smile. "You look quite comfortable there, mind if I join you?"
Olivia smiled and graciously nodded. "Of course."
Lucy just sighed before turning her head and her attention to the older student whose brown curls were almost long enough to fall into his eyes.
"Charming as always, Harry."
He only grinned. "I have definitely not seen enough of you since you moved into the Avengers tower. You only hang out with them now."
"Yeah, the pleasure of your company is a great loss in my social life." Lucy didn't know why she got even colder when she was drunk. Probably because that was actually her real self.
Harry didn't seem dismayed but instead leaned forward further so Lucy could smell his aftershave. God, he smelled good.
"If you wanna admit it or not, you missed me. Why else do you feel the need to drown yourself in –" he grabbed the bottle of bourbon and spun it round. "- Van Winkle's? Well, at least you preserved your class."
He annoyed Lucy to no end. In some ways he reminded her of Peter actually, they both had a similar, unmatched ability to drive her to desperation, yet she missed them when they weren't around. She sighed. It was like Nat always said, you get attached to your idiots. The sole reason why she'd stuck out with Clint for so long.
"My parents being dead might be an acceptable reason… don't know about you?"
Harry's face only momentarily fell but within seconds his smooth façade was back. "Not as big a loss as it could have been though. It's not like they ever cared."
Olivia sighed. "That's what I've been telling her. But if it gets her back here to her old self, I don't mind."
Harry laughed at that and a smile formed on Lucy's lips. When she sat here, with the others, a drink in her hand, it felt like no time had gone by – living at school, her parents alive and grandma just gone, the Avengers split up and no responsibility and expectations but instead the ability do whatever she wanted.
Olivia smoothly got up and with a last look to Lucy, disappeared to strike up a conversation with Carter. Lucy wasn't surprised. She'd expected these two to end up together since elementary school.
Harry watched Liv leave and then turned his attention back to Lucy, moving even closer.
"So, you're staying over here tonight?"
"What do you think?" Lucy huffed. "It's not that I could return to the tower in this state. They would probably have a fit over me drinking. Couldn't throw me out though, the adoption has gone through."
"Now that's lucky," Harry swung over to the sofa and placed an arm over Lucy shoulders. This shouldn't feel as good as it did. She thought she'd stopped this a year ago but apparently, romanticizing the past was in vogue now. Lucy turned her head to face the handsome – god, so handsome – boy.
He took a curl of her hair and playfully twisted it between his fingers.
"Feels like we've been transported back to last year. Have I become your go-to consoler now?"
"What can I say," Lucy breathed softly and sat up a little more. "You're so good at it."
With that she sunk her hand in Harry's curls and grabbed them, pulling herself closer to his body and kissing him. She could feel him smile as he returned the kiss, placed his hands on Lucy's back and pulled her closer. Lucy just gave herself to the feeling of pleasure that was so much more intense than anything she'd experienced in the past few weeks.
###
The next morning, Lucy walked back the few blocks to the tower. She hadn't taken the car because she knew that with the night she was going to have she'd need some fresh air. The walk was nice, it was late March and spring had awakened in New York. Central Park was blossoming and some birds had returned, now chirping happily in the late morning sunlight. The only problem was that walking gave her too much time to think thoughts she successfully suppressed with the alcohol. She didn't know how things would ever be different again. Nat tried to keep things going as usual but she wasn't stupid and Lucy knew that deep down her mentor was disappointed that she'd returned to her old ways – parties, alcohol and no responsibility or cares in the world. Except that one big care of her parents being dead, though the longer she lived with suppressing it, the easier it became to forget.
Lucy shook her head as she walked down Park Avenue and tried to focus on thoughts that didn't relate to people who were dead. She was quite happy with how last night went. She really made the most of it, she thought with a grin. Harry was good company and since they were going to fly out to Malibu tomorrow morning for the Easter holidays, she might as well use all the chances she got of getting away from her family and drowning her sorrows. As soon as they stepped on that plane Lucy was going to be watched by everyone like a hawk. She knew the adults weren't stupid and figured out by now that her coping mechanisms weren't exactly compatible with the rules. She huffed to herself. Those were stupid anyway but she knew living at the tower was better than living alone so she had to follow them whether she liked it or not. With the adoption gone through, Lucy wondered whether Nat was going to let her go anyway like she said back in autumn – probably not. If Lucy was being honest with herself, their relationship had changed so much since then anyway – it felt much more settled than all those months ago.
She breathed in deeply when she finally got to the tower. The back entrance was empty as always – especially on holidays. When the elevator stopped at the common room and Lucy stepped into the open area, a few heads turned. Pepper was directing Bruce and Sam who were packing two big boxes – probably things Pep thought essential in Malibu as well. Nat managed a small smile when she saw Lucy.
"How was the sleepover?"
Lucy smiled politely, something she never used to do at the tower before but it was good to fake happiness now.
"It was great to see the gang one last time before the holidays."
Nat nodded and Tony stepped out of the kitchen at that point. He didn't even smile when he saw her but Lucy instead noticed the look he and Natasha shared. Pepper directed Bruce and Sam to the elevator to stow away the boxes in the cars which would take them to LaGuardia tomorrow.
Lucy had the distinct feeling Tony was about to say something so she just waited expectantly. She wasn't wrong.
"The sleepover was fun?"
Lucy knew from the tone of his voice that he knew exactly what happened. Obviously, she thought with a wonky grin – he'd done it himself often enough and it wasn't an uncommon occurrence for her in the past few weeks.
"Yeah, it was," she answered in almost a challenging tone. Let him come at her, she had nothing to apologize for.
Tony sighed and Lucy had to admit it wasn't easy to see him like that. He, who was usually so carefree and relaxed.
"Lucy, I know how things are going right now. I know it's difficult but the way that you're dealing with them isn't right."
Lucy's expression darkened. So, he was really going there. As if he could judge her, tell her what to do.
"You think so? Really?" She couldn't stop herself from sounding very impertinent.
Tony took a deep breath but she knew he wasn't yet upset. Lucy could feel Nat behind her tense up though. But she would go further if they pushed her.
"I understand what you're going through, I really do and you know that."
Lucy gave a small nod, but the dark expression didn't leave her face.
"But you have everyone in this tower who wants to help you get through this. You don't need to turn to the alcohol to forget. You know exactly that that's not the right way to deal with this."
Yeah, Lucy thought grimly, as if he could tell her how to deal with these problems in a healthy way.
"Oh, isn't it?" she almost spat. "I thought that was exactly the way you went about it and now you want to tell me what I can't do? You're being a hypocrite. We all know the shit you got up to when you were my age, so don't try and act all high and mighty. I don't need a discussion on morality, I thought we had Steve for that!" She couldn't help but get louder and louder the angrier she got. She also felt Nat stepping closer to her but she didn't care. Not anymore. "What did you do, huh? Did you deal with it in the right way? Cause I think you did quite a lot worse than me, to be honest. You're the last person to tell me how to work through this!"
Tony looked completely taken aback. Not even he had expected this outburst and although he didn't seem completely outraged, Lucy definitely saw some hurt in his eyes. Good, she thought satisfied, serves him right for trying to mess with her life.
"Lucy!" Nat's voice was clear and Lucy could hear the outrage in it. "That's enough. Stop this aggressiveness and insolence right now, apologize and listen to him."
But she didn't want to listen anyone anymore. Heatedly, she spun around and glared at her mentor with more fury than she usually dared. "Seriously? You want me to listen to him and turn out the same way?"
For a fraction of a second, Lucy actually thought Nat seemed ready to slap her on the spot. Her eyes glistened dangerously and there was type of anger reflected in them that Lucy had never seen before. When the older woman just pressed her lips into a thin line, Lucy rushed out before anyone could say another word, brushing past her mentor and angrily pushing the button for the elevator doors to open.
Nat didn't follow Lucy out but instead turned to Tony, a mixture of anger and apology on her face.
"Tony, I'm so sorry, I didn't think she'd be this out of line."
He only waved his hand. "Don't apologize. I mean," he gave a wonky smile. "She's not wrong."
"No, she is," Nat immediately intervened in a serious voice. "You are not your past. Believe me, if that were the case, I should've dug my own grave years ago."
She threw another worried look to the elevator. "One part of me wants to go after her, kick her ass and make her understand but the other part knows that she needs to come to terms with the situation herself. But I just can't keep sitting here, letting her make grave mistakes and not follow up on it."
Tony managed a small smile and put an arm around the spy's shoulders. He hated seeing her so upset and it was quite unsettling. Nat usually was the one who seemed like she had everything under control.
"I know exactly what you mean. So far, there haven't been any big mistakes we haven't dealt with though. We just got to wait and hope that she comes to her senses before something major happens." He trailed off and Nat threw him a questioning look. He gave a pained smile back as he continued. "Or maybe it takes the last straw that breaks the camel's back. The only thing we can do is to wait and see."
###
The flight to Malibu was calm as always since there weren't any great water masses to cross. They'd taken the large jet that fit everyone and Lucy was quietly sitting in the back with Wanda and Peter, reading Dostoevsky and minding her own business. The atmosphere had been tense since her argument with Tony; Nat was barely talking to her but Lucy didn't feel like talking to her anyway. They'd definitely told the others (because the adults were so worse at gossiping than the kids) as Steve had given her a strange look at dinner. Oh well, it wouldn't be the first time that people were angry with her. Granted, it was the first time at the tower that she had stepped out of line this much without rectifying things immediately, but it was more in character for her. She'd tried to be good for the past few months at the tower but apparently there was a limit to her behaving herself. Going astray was just the normal path for her and trying to be the perfect little girl that met Nat's high expectations wasn't for her. It was liberating, Lucy grinned as she turned the page. She didn't have to try and fulfill the adults' hopes for her – at this point she was sure there weren't any left anyway.
"Did you do the character analysis for Raskolnikov yet?" Wanda looked up from her laptop and slightly leaned over.
Lucy shook her head no. "I have notes on it and the basic structure but I didn't write it up yet. I started with Dunya and Sonya."
Wanda grinned. "Fancy exchanging those for Raskolnikov?"
"Sure," Lucy nodded. "What title have you chosen for the essay?"
"I'll talk about Svidrigailov's death and whether it was dignified." Wanda sighed. "To be honest, I find this entire book completely depressing."
"Same," Lucy agreed. "You know, I could've done French but because of you I chose Russian literature. I hope you're grateful," she added with a dry grin.
"Don't talk shit, you like Russian," Wanda huffed, not believing Lucy for a second. "There's no way in hell you wouldn't have done it." She turned back to her laptop. "Anyway, what's your essay about?"
Lucy grinned; Wanda just knew her too well. "I'm analysing freedom and its value. Thought that was quite interesting." She turned back to the book and picked the pencil up again to return to scribbling notes in the margins.
Peter had been sitting still during the entire conversation but as both girls returned to their work he spoke up.
"You know, it's really scary to hear you two talk in Russian. I'm guessing and hoping it's about your essays but you might as well be talking about murdering me. The tone of voice is about the same."
Neither Lucy nor Wanda could keep it together at his innocent observation and erupted into laughter. Russian was great if they wanted to make sure Peter didn't understand what they were talking about but it was also just easier to talk about their Russian class in the language.
The touchdown on the Stark Industries airfield in Malibu was quiet and unagitated and as soon as Lucy stepped out the plane, she felt the warm California sun on her skin. She briefly closed her eyes and let her pale skin, marked by the dark New York winter, soak up some much-needed vitamin D.
The car ride up to Point Dume was quick as well and Lucy was thankful for it. Every minute in the presence of the adults who kept judging her constantly was too much. When they got to the house, she immediately went to her room and unpacked until she was called to dinner by JARVIS. A holiday with the entire family was usually relaxing but not in the current atmosphere. Lucy sat down quietly, determined to ignore everyone's thoughts about her and just concentrated on her plate.
"We've got to be ready by 5pm tomorrow," Pep suddenly announced and Lucy looked up in surprise.
She wasn't the only caught off-guard, as Peter, Clint, Steve, Bruce and Sam sported the same expression.
Pepper only rolled her eyes. "The Easter function? Up at the Westlake Village Inn? I told you about a thousand times."
Lucy remembered something in the back of her mind and nodded.
"It's gonna be a dinner and the usual, but we really can't be late for this, so everyone," she narrowed her eyes at Tony, "has got to be ready at 5pm."
Tony sported a perfectly innocent expression and nodded enthusiastically, as did everyone else. Lucy only sighed. Another lame function where she had to put up her public face and pretend everything was fine. Just like usual and just how the rest of her life was going to be. Perfect practice. She finished dinner early and excused herself, disappearing into her room and dragging out her laptop. Maybe some hacking would make her feel better – codes usually cheered her up.
###
This function was even more mind-numbingly boring than they usually were. The scenery was absolutely beautiful, Thousand Oaks showed herself in all her beauty but it didn't alleviate the tedious conversations. Dinner had gone by pretty smoothly and now all that was left was nice small talk for hours. Lucy kept rolling her eyes every five minutes. Nat was good at it – part of spy training, obviously – and in between ignoring her, she'd thrown her the odd warning glance. Wanda and Peter felt the same way, Lucy was sure of it, so when she just couldn't take it anymore and a glance to her watch confirmed that there'd be at least two more hours of this, she decided on trying something more fun. All the adults were caught up in conversations so it was easy to pull Peter and Wanda aside and outside to the large garden surrounding the venue.
Wanda looked at her indignantly but Lucy knew she was grateful to get away from the people inside.
"I have an idea," Lucy started and as always, the witch rolled her eyes while Peter encouraged her to go on.
She grinned. "I know you're bored, Wanda. Let's go for a walk. No one is gonna miss us. They'll know we needed some air."
Peter looked towards Wanda and the redhead nodded immediately. Her drive to get away from these people seemed to be strong enough.
Lucy led the others through the park and down the road towards the lake. Even though the sun had already begun to set, it was still warm, curtesy to the Southern California climate. Even Thousand Oaks was quiet on Easter Sunday night, so the kids were undisturbed as they strolled through the area. The houses were beautiful, the weather amazing and Lucy was reminded once more that even though she was a New Yorker through and through, there was something about the West Coast that made her fall in love with it. She definitely made a good L.A. girl and if MIT hadn't been a given for her, she would've applied to college here.
The kids stopped outside the iron fence and Wanda threw Lucy a questioning look who only smiled in response before turning to judge the gate with a measuring eye.
"What exactly are you planning on doing?"
Lucy had already climbed the fence and gracefully landed on the other side. "I thought we could take one of these pretty boats for a little tour of the lake."
Wanda shook her head immediately and didn't move from her place outside the gate as if she'd sprouted roots while Peter had already jumped as well and waited for the other girl expectantly.
"We can't do this. This is stealing!"
"We're just borrowing, Wanda!" Peter tried to convince her. "It's not like we're keeping it. We're just taking it for a spin."
The witch sighed but Lucy put on her rational voice that always worked. "It's a lake, Wanda. It's not the ocean, we can't go far. It's 10pm on Easter Sunday, there's no one around." She cocked her head. "They're all on holiday and remember, I know how to navigate these yachts."
Wanda sighed heavily but a look towards the boats confirmed to her that they were quite small and thus easy to sail, so she finally climbed the gate and easily made it to the other side.
Lucy grinned. Training with the Avengers and with a spy also meant that they knew how to get places without leaving traces and climbing a fence was a warm-up exercise, nothing to break a sweat over. Also, she was in the mood for some fun on the water – especially after this boring function. Why in the world Pepper insisted they'd all have to attend was beyond her.
It wasn't hard to locate a small catboat Lucy felt comfortable commandeering. Comfortable was perhaps the wrong word – she'd only done it once before and that was more observing than doing things herself. Still, it all came back to simple physics and she was good at that.
Peter jumped on, less than elegantly, and even Wanda looked quite excited as she got on the small yacht. Lucy toyed with the ropes and hoisted the sails with ease – that part she was quite sure about – and managed to navigate the boat out of its place in the small harbor.
The wind had actually gotten a little stronger, allowing the boat to sail smoothly across the water. Lucy yanked the tiller to the right and the boat made a sharp turn and started the first round. The lake was laid out like a racecourse; there were houses in the middle that all had access to the lake itself. Great for everyone with homes here, less conducive to facilitating civilized sailing – to Lucy it meant she could go faster and faster with each round, trying to beat her own record. The wind seemed to agree with her, it got stronger and stronger, becoming quite impressive for Southern California.
Peter watched her navigate the yacht and she let him try it out for a bit when they went down one of the long sides. He learned quickly and they both had great fun. Wanda had relaxed as well and laid sprawled out on the front cover, enjoying the breeze that gliding quickly across the water created. Lucy grinned, very pleased with herself that she'd once again rescued all of them from the hell of boring functions. It was typical Wanda behavior – first putting up a fight and pretending to be Steve's perfect little girl and as soon as Lucy's or Peter's idea turned out to be fun, shutting up and enjoying herself. She wouldn't have traded the witch for the world, it was all part of the fun.
With how much fun they were having, the kids didn't realize how dark it had already gotten. Lucy felt more free than at any point in the past weeks in NYC since her parents died. Maybe Malibu would help settle the rest of the lingering hurt she still held inside. Though, she thought grimly, it'd be easier to do that without everyone else around. Here, on the water, commandeering a boat as if it was her own, she felt in control and independent. Maybe that's where she'd gone wrong. Maybe independent should have been the way to go, but in some stupid, childish instance of weakness, she clung onto Natasha. She should've thought about it like Matthew suggested – he knew her better than anyone else and he probably knew that she would make rash decisions. He should've made her think about it, not take the first words out of her mouth as gospel. But what's done is done, so she grabbed the line tighter and held onto the titter as she sped up.
Peter's eyes lit up as the breeze got stronger. "Can you try and go quicker around that corner? It's like drifting in a car."
Lucy nodded, concentrated and yanked the yacht around the corner at a breakneck pace. Wanda squealed as she was almost flung off the front and scrambled up and next to Lucy's side. Peter started laughing uncontrollably and even though Wanda tried to stay mad, she couldn't help but grin. The two held onto the sides of the boat as Lucy kept accelerating.
"Don't you think you wanna slow down a bit?" Wanda gasped as the boat rushed into another round, faster than in any before. Lucy only shook her head with a smile on her face as she got the last out of the small yacht and they glided down the long side.
"Go left!" Peter suddenly yelled and, completely surprised, Lucy yanked the line and titter and the boat only narrowly made it around corner and onto the short side. It had gotten so dark that Lucy misjudged the length of the lake and the speed of the boat didn't help. Wanda's knuckles had gotten white as she held onto the side tightly and threw the other girl a half-scared, half-shocked look. Lucy didn't see it though, she tried to concentrate on getting the boat back under control. The short side was far too short for the pace they were going at and Peter shouted again, so she jerked the boat around the next corner. Lucy tried to get the titter back in line but she had been pulling too hard and suddenly she heard a loud crack and the tuck from the other side disappeared.
"What are you doing?" Wanda shrieked as Lucy grabbed the line with both hands, her only method of controlling the yacht now.
"I'm trying to get this boat to slow down," Lucy hissed back through gritted teeth.
Peter tried to keep his balance on the tumbling yacht. "We need to stop it somehow, we'll crash into the harbor!"
"I can't control where we're going anymore, genius!" Her voice had gotten louder and Lucy gave up trying to sound like she knew what she was doing.
Wanda pointed ahead – Lucy actually commended her for not having closed her eyes and starting to pray already. "Try and get to that little island!"
It was a good idea. There was no building on it and the island itself was slightly removed from the houses surrounding the lake.
Right before passing by it, Lucy yanked the line and with a deafening crash, the yacht moved over the stones that surrounded the island, but it didn't stop. It was too fast, so it shot over the green and came to a halt as it collided with the large tree in the middle. The front of the boat was completely smashed and Lucy realized how lucky they'd been that it was quite a long boat – had they'd been any closer to the front, they would've felt the tree as well.
For a split second, the kids sat in shock but it didn't last long. Lights were turned on in the houses closest to them and with a sinking feeling in her stomach, Lucy looked towards Peter and Wanda who only now seemed to realize what exactly just happened.
###
They'd been sitting on the uncomfortable wooden bench in the police station for some time now, waiting for one of the officers to come over and deal with them. Even in a neighborhood like Thousand Oaks, there seemed to be some crime on Easter Sunday nights. Lucy had her gaze focused on her lap, not wanting to see the expressions of the others. She knew Wanda was probably freaking out at this point and Peter had looked more worried than ever before when they were seated down here.
Heavy footsteps announced the broad-shouldered cop who had introduced himself as Officer Helton when he had taken them into custody at the lake. Lucy still didn't move her head but she could feel him looking down at them.
"Onto you kids then… stealing a yacht, hm? Nothing good on TV?"
When he got no response, just like he'd expected, he continued. "I need your names and your address. We've got to get your parents in."
Neither Peter nor Wanda said anything, so Lucy lifted her head and took a deep breath before looking at the officer.
"My name's Lucy Rutherford," she started and set her face in stone. "My parents are dead, you might've read about it in the papers."
Recognition dawned on the Helton's face and he nodded. "Lucy Rutherford, huh? What are we gonna do with you then?"
Lucy waited expectantly and Wanda and Peter looked up as well, the slight hope on their face now that they might after all get out of this unscathed.
But the officer didn't seem particularly impressed. "Who's responsible for you then?"
When his tone didn't change at all, Lucy's expression darkened. She'd expected her name to change this situation completely. After all, they wouldn't arrest someone from such a prominent family.
"Listen kiddos," Helton got sterner and Lucy's frown deepened. "I don't want to be at this all night. You're going to give me the name of someone I can contact right now. I have no problem throwing all of you in a cell overnight if you don't want to cooperate."
He must've caught Lucy's expression as a small smile formed on his lips. "I'm a police officer in Malibu, you're not the first offspring of the rich and famous to get into trouble here. And believe me, you're not getting special treatment because of your last name so you better open your mouth now or you'll be spending the night locked up here."
Sighing, Lucy had to admit she'd been beaten at her own game and with a look to Wanda and Peter, they all realized they had to resign themselves to their fate.
Peter cleared his throat. "I'm Peter Parker, you can call Tony Stark. He's responsible."
Helton smiled. "The Tony Stark! Now that's something." He grinned at Lucy before turning towards the reception desk.
She was taken aback but couldn't help but be amused at his humor. Police officers were like the military – they were funny. Realizing that Helton was on the phone to Tony right now and he'd turn up here within minutes, bringing Steve and Nat with him, however, wiped the smile off her face.
Lucy tried to understand her feelings. She wasn't scared of anything Nat would do, although she knew that her mentor would be furious. But she'd given up trying to impress or satisfy her, so this really wasn't more than a bump in the road. She'd get a thrashing, be grounded and then it'd be over. Nothing much to worry about. She stopped and swallowed. Her stomach was still fluttering and she did have to admit to herself that not even sneaking on a mission was as bad as this – she'd never been arrested before. If she was being honest, it was exciting. Almost a rite of passage for someone from her circle. Didn't Nat want her to turn out like Tony? There, she thought, goal achieved.
Helton returned from the phone and looked down onto the kids. "Stark is on his way to pick you up and he's bringing your guardians as well. They were already worrying where you'd wandered off to." He looked at Lucy and Wanda directly before eyeing all of them sternly again. "He didn't sound very amused. Boy, do I not want to be in your shoes."
Lucy felt Wanda next to her slump but it really wasn't news. Of course, they'd be angry and obviously they worried – the adults always did, no matter how small what happened was.
Over Helton's shoulder, Lucy could see another kid, about their own age, brought in and led directly to one of the cells. Her confused look didn't go unnoticed by the officer once again and he turned to watch the other kid before he faced her.
"He's one of the homeless kids that camp around here. It's pretty mild weather, better than down by the beach, but they're not allowed to stay in the town. It's all residential areas and the people living here don't exactly want someone sleeping on their doorstep – or be reminded of the poverty surrounding us." He gave Lucy a long look, though not unfriendly. It stirred something akin to empathy for the other boy inside of her. New York was full of homeless people, as was any other city she'd ever seen, but she never came across them on the same level. She was always on her way to her own apartment when she passed them and after she walked by, it was 'out of sight, out of mind'. Sitting in this police station, she was basically transported to his position but with one big difference. She was about to be picked up and taken back to the house (granted, with Judgment Day looming, but still, she had a roof over her head) while he spent the night here – possibly a major improvement of his sleeping condition.
Lucy looked back up at Helton who offered a small, sad smile. "Why is he sleeping out here – why are any of them?"
The officer shrugged his shoulders. "There's different reasons. He stated that he got kicked out, some don't have parents anymore, others don't get along. Some moved away, try and make it on their own, there's a myriad of issues. When you work this job as long as I have, you know there's nothing impossible."
With another look towards the other cell in which the scrawny boy had lied down by now, Lucy swallowed hard.
"I know your parents have passed recently and I'm sorry for that," Helton addressed her once more with an intense look. "But it seems like you still got people caring about you. You probably don't perceive it like that right now, but you're lucky. Others aren't that fortunate."
Lucy looked up at the man and felt some tears pricking at the corner of her eyes. She wasn't going to cry in this police station but she connected with what the officer said. It was annoying to recognize that she wasn't as independent as she would like, especially since she had no idea how to get things back to normal with Nat and the others.
Helton turned towards the entrance and the kids followed his gaze to see Tony, Steve and Natasha enter the hallway. Lucy wisely decided to avoid everyone's stare and only flicked a short look at Nat. It was useless, her mentor's face didn't reveal any emotion.
"Thank you for coming in," Helton greeted the adults before waiving towards the kids. "They're all unharmed. You finished up all the paperwork?"
Steve nodded gravely. "Yes, we did. Thank you, officer." He threw a look towards the kids and Lucy made the mistake of glancing up. That hurt. "I'm very sorry for the disturbance they caused tonight. No one was hurt?"
The officer shook his head. "No, it was a quiet night. The residents had a little shock but that's it."
Tony nodded curtly and focused his eyes on Peter who was determined not to meet them. Sighing, he just extended his arm and grabbed the boy's shoulder, pulling him to stand. Wanda jumped up at that and was by Steve's side in seconds who placed a hand on her arm and held her tight.
Lucy looked up at Nat who still didn't move a muscle in her face and got up slowly, moving to her mentor's side. She looked back towards Helton who watched the entire group.
"I trust nothing like this will happen again."
"We'll make sure of that," Steve responded immediately and Lucy's heart sank slightly at his tone of voice.
She swallowed but looked up when Helton continued. "You're good kids. Don't waste the opportunities you've got." He looked directly at Lucy who bit her lip and gave a slight nod.
Helton opened the door to let them out of the station, first Tony with Peter, then Steve and Wanda and lastly, Nat and Lucy. When she passed the officer, she looked up to meet his eyes and offered a small smile.
"Thank you, Sir," she said softly and he returned her smile before Nat placed a hand on her back and led her out into the dark night.
Happy had brought the big car that fit all of them and Lucy caught his expression through the rear mirror. He'd never looked more disappointed. She felt another punch to her gut – she hadn't expected to let this many people down today, it was all supposed to be a bit of fun.
The car ride was quiet and tense. None of the adults said a word and none of the kids felt particularly chatty. Lucy was trying to keep her thoughts from the impending discussion. She'd rather move directly to the discipline but she knew full well that Nat would not let this slide without thoroughly talking it through. Lucy sighed inaudibly and turned her head towards the window to watch the houses, tall and dark in the pitch-black night, fly by.
Happy had been driving pretty close to the speed limit and they got home in record time. Once more, the adults didn't say much, Steve only ordered the kids to the living room in a low, authoritative voice and they didn't exactly feel like disobeying so they hurried there and crashed on the couch.
Lucy didn't look at her fellow conspirators as she couldn't help feeling bad. Not necessarily about taking and crashing the boat – that was too much fun and no one got hurt – but about dragging both of them into trouble. She managed to keep both of them out by only drinking and skipping class when they weren't around to avoid putting them into a messy situation where they might had to lie. She knew they followed her of their own volition but, she was the one who'd come up with the idea in the first place. Not even Peter would've thought of taking a yacht – a bit out of his league. Lucy sighed – their guardians let them stew for longer than usual. Whether that was because they wanted them to get nervous or whether they had to talk about their fate, she didn't know. Finally, the glass door to the living room opened and the three adults walked in, unreadable expressions on their faces but with very determined body language instead. They sat down on the other sofa and Steve started.
"First, we couldn't find you at the function. Well, we thought, they just went outside to get some air. They're sixteen after all, we don't need to watch their every step."
Not a good start, Lucy thought. This was going to go down the road of responsibility very soon.
"When Tony got a call from the police station saying all three of you were there, brought in because you crashed a yacht, we couldn't believe it."
"I don't even own a yacht on that lake," Tony continued. "So, we thought they couldn't be serious until they told us that it was stolen. At that point we thought they for sure must have the wrong kids."
Lucy could feel both Wanda and Peter on each side of her slide further into the couch. She didn't move. It was the same psycho tricks as always – 'but you're so much better than this'. Yeah, whatever. It wasn't true. Every single adult in this house knew by now that Lucy wasn't gonna live up to their expectations. Everything that happened since her parents' death showed her that her perfect behavior in the months prior was completely out of character. She wasn't good, she was messed up and she'd keep messing up.
"Why did you take that yacht? I don't imagine there to be a reasonable excuse, but I want to know what your thought process was, if any." Steve's tone had become quite tense and Lucy could definitely hear the restraint he had to exercise. This was bad.
Wanda sunk deeper and deeper and Lucy felt for her. It was never fun when your mentor was the one who was particularly angry but Wanda also cared extremely about Steve's opinion. Unlike Lucy who'd given up trying to follow Nat in any way. She wouldn't let either her or Peter sink so she forced her eyes up to meet Steve's stern gaze.
"It was my fault. I convinced them to come with me and Wanda didn't want to get on. She only came with to minimize the damage." Her voice sounded stronger than she felt and even though she didn't really mean to, her look at Steve was challenging – which seemed to be the wrong call.
Nat pressed her lips together and let her face sink into its stone-cold expression, while Tony huffed.
"That worked out well, didn't it?"
Steve's frown got deeper and he fixed his gaze on Wanda. "If that's the case, then why didn't you call us the moment you realized that you were going on someone else's boat? I like to think I instilled enough moral sense in you for you to know that that's completely unacceptable."
Wanda sunk her head further and took in a quivering breath and Lucy felt that her friend was close to tears.
Steve turned to her now. "And I have no doubt that you were the instigator behind this little excursion. With your track record over the past couple of weeks that is more than believable."
Lucy had never heard Steve sound so cold, angry and disappointed. They'd messed up badly before – the mission incident last month being on top of that list – but something about this seemed to bother him even more. She didn't want to let them, but his words hurt her. Because she knew they were true and because some part of her, deep down still cared about his opinion, no matter how much she tried not to let it affect her. The look he gave them after they'd snuck on the mission was nothing compared to this.
Steve was incredibly agitated. When Lucy and Peter snuck on a mission, he was disappointed, but this was even worse. Not just because Lucy didn't seem to understand the gravity of her actions but because it was the culmination of her behavior during the past months. None of them had been able to help her deal with her parents' death and while he was outraged at Lucy's choices, a part of him also felt angry at Tony, Nat and himself. It wasn't completely the girl's fault, they should've been able to handle her, but they couldn't and they were letting Peggy down – Lucy had never behaved this way before, especially not for such a prolonged period of time. They had to face facts. She wasn't going to find back to herself on her own; they needed to help her.
Lucy swallowed hard and now Tony fixed a stern gaze on the three of them.
"Thankfully, I was able to deal with the repercussions of your actions. The owners of that yacht were satisfied with me paying them off and decided not to press charges."
Wanda sucked in a sharp breath and Peter flinched while Lucy's eyes shot up – which was a bad reflex as all three adults still eyed them disappointedly. She hadn't thought of the fact that whoever owned that boat could have a case against them in law. Getting arrested was one thing but having to go to court? That was another level altogether. Her stomach clenched at the thought that had Tony not been able to deal with this, a criminal record could've been the consequence. Stealing something valuable was a felony, if she remembered correctly.
Lucy didn't know whether Tony hadn't seen her shocked expression or if he was just so fed up with her behavior – probably the latter – but he didn't change his tone at all, if anything, he got harsher.
"We also promised them that we would handle this situation and deliver appropriate consequences so that it would never happen again."
That didn't sound promising and Lucy took in a hitched breath as Steve continued.
"We only agreed on deciding to pay them off and not let this get to court, because we wanted to avoid the media circus, but believe me, you're not getting off easy because of that." If the kids didn't know and trust Steve, he would've seemed threatening. Lucy couldn't bear his gaze anymore and sunk her head. It was the right choice as Nat, who'd been silent up till now, spoke up and Lucy could hear a world of disappointment and anger in her voice.
"You would've gotten community service in court, so this is what we're going to do. You'll do ten hours per week for the next five weeks, starting as soon as we return to New York."
It was only the tone of Nat's voice that kept Lucy from talking back. She didn't have time to do that much, she had lab work as well, let alone Olivia's get togethers. But she knew Nat wasn't going to tolerate any backchat and she'd find a way around it – she always did.
"This doesn't seem like much, especially compared to what you would've gotten in court, but we're also upping your training hours." Nat was completely stern and sober and Lucy was reminded of her grandma. Peggy never had reason to speak to her like that, but Lucy heard her talk to other people in the same tone. Her mentor's words were sobering. This seemed to cut deeper than she'd thought – she'd expected maybe ten hours of community service. And increasing the training hours? Again, she wasn't arguing, but she started to realize the direction this was going.
Nat's tone was strict and every one of the kids knew she wouldn't tolerate any arguments at this point. "Apparently, you have a lot of energy to burn if the first thing you think to do in your free time is joyride on someone else's yacht. We don't need to ground you on top of that which is good, because you'd have more time to sit around and think of your exploits. This way you won't have time to come up with anything stupid, because you'll either be in school, volunteering or training."
Lucy was stunned and so were Peter and Wanda. Her stomach turned at Nat's tone which was almost threatening and Lucy felt she approached some limit to her patience now. She also realized that the next few weeks, possibly months, would not be easy. Her mentor was in no joking mood and neither of the adults would be for quite some time. It'd take ages to repair the trust, that was clear now. Lucy stopped her thought process. She was thinking of restoring trust that she thought she didn't have and want – with every word out of Nat's mouth she realized that it wasn't true. She'd managed to suppress it for months but there was no use in it anymore. She had to admit that she yearned for her mentor's praise and support, no matter how much she tried to shake that desire. Slowly, the words sank in and her actions that evening caught up with her – and just how horrible they'd been. Lucy took in a quivering breath and tried to keep it together. She wasn't going to break down with everyone else in the room.
Nat continued and Lucy knew her mentor saw her changing expression. The fact that she didn't change her tone of voice, like Tony, and continued in a hard-hearted manner was testament to how badly they'd messed up. No inches would be given at this point and Lucy didn't really feel like arguing. Natasha was about to slip into her agent voice – she didn't want to experience that.
"I should probably clarify that if you think you can still handle parties, that's off limits. Your curfew is strict and that is non-negotiable like everything we're talking about tonight. You're in deep enough, I caution all of you not to push us any further."
She looked directly at Lucy with those words and the girl had to swallow nervously. She wondered, for the first time in weeks, how she let her relationship deteriorate this far. Nat must really think the worst of her and Lucy couldn't really blame her. Peter and Wanda were very still – they had never experienced Natasha like this. To be fair, even to Lucy it felt like a punch in the gut. This was all on a completely new level.
"I'll be giving all of you smart watches that can track you," Tony continued and Lucy had the inkling that she really wouldn't like what he was about to say.
"We won't do that all the time, only when we think you are in danger or in trouble."
The kids were slightly taken aback but especially Peter and Wanda were far too remorseful to argue against anything.
"Those watches can be taken off but should any of you do that without permission or tinker with them," he threw a warning glance to Lucy who once again wondered how well they all knew her, "then I'll put them on permanently."
Lucy huffed and mumbled softly. "Tagged like a stray dog."
She didn't think she was loud enough for anyone to hear her, but she once again underestimated Nat as her mentor fixed her eyes on her. She'd heard her perfectly.
"You are in no position to argue against this. First you sneak on a mission where we could've located you much quicker with this watch and now you stole a yacht where you were once again lucky that no one was hurt. We don't want to rely on that luck anymore." Nat hadn't started screaming, she didn't get loud or yell but her tone of voice was no-nonsense and as stern as ever.
Lucy didn't understand why she herself was so upset about the idea of that watch and much less what got into her. "Maybe it's not just luck," she muttered almost inaudibly but once again, she was understood by everyone.
Peter and Wanda couldn't believe their ears from their body language and probably shook their heads internally that Lucy would continue this defiance. Wanda tensed up next to her, awaiting the adults' reaction.
Nat's voice got low and calm, more so than ever before and almost scared Lucy – she'd never heard it like that.
"What was that?" she asked and Lucy had enough sense in her not to respond, let alone look up. She kept very still and distinctly felt Steve and Tony's disapproving looks.
For a few moments, no one said a word before Steve spoke again.
"I think we said everything there is to say. Wanda?"
It wasn't a question, but an order and the redhead was at her mentor's side in the fraction of a second and the two disappeared. Tony nodded to Peter who looked up for the first time since they sat down on that sofa and both left the room after Tony and Nat exchanged a look.
Lucy had sunk deeper and deeper into the couch. She didn't want to get up, she didn't want to face any of the consequences and she definitely didn't want to see Natasha's face now. The only thing she wanted was to get out of this house, take a plane to somewhere else and live a life where she didn't have to talk to anyone currently in this house ever again. Or have the ground open up and swallow her– either one would be acceptable.
Natasha cleared her throat softly and Lucy knew she was pushing every single button. Apparently, her guardian realized that she wasn't going to move so Nat stepped closer and grabbed Lucy's arm, pulling her up. It wasn't a harsh or unfriendly grip – what Lucy had expected – but instead stabilizing and calming. She got up, knees weak and still not able to look into Natasha's eyes but made her way up to her room.
Once they got through the door, Nat directly steered Lucy into an empty corner and placed her there, silently, without a single word. Lucy was mortified – made to stand in the corner like a five-year-old. But she wasn't able to get a word out, much less argue, so she just quietly stood still. After she took a few deep breaths, she was able to reflect on why she was there. Definitely not because Nat had to calm down – she had the best control over her emotions anyone had ever had. A thousand thoughts raced through her head; regret over her actions today and during the past few weeks, the desire to rectify things but not knowing how, having to admit that she wanted to be a part of this family, anxiety that she'd squandered her place forever (after all, Nat could just put her in boarding school as well) but there was more. Tears formed in her eyes when she realized that this all started with her parents' death. Something Lucy thought wouldn't affect her much, but against all expectations it did. She hadn't dealt with it – or she had but in the completely wrong way. She was upset and angry and used it to excuse stepping totally out of line. Her head and shoulders sunk and all tension left her body at that realization.
After Nat had placed the girl in the corner, she went over to the bed to sit down. She watched her protégé and took a few deep breaths. Lucy had to understand herself exactly what happened tonight and Nat knew that that had started downstairs already even though she needed to continue strictly to highlight the severity. But Lucy also needed to understand that she had to deal with her parent's death and that it was affecting her more than she wanted to admit. When the girl's shoulders sank and all tension left her body, Nat sighed inaudibly. This is what she'd been waiting for, so she called her over.
Lucy heard Natasha, but it wasn't easy for her to move. Knowing that stalling the inevitable wouldn't last forever, she took in a breath and turned, keeping her eyes firmly on the floor even as she sat down next to her mentor. When Nat reached and lifted her chin, she flinched. She didn't want to show the tears in her eyes and she also didn't want to see whatever emotion was in her Nat's eyes. There wasn't any fury in them, surprisingly, but instead disappointment, intensity and even warmth. Lucy tried to get her emotions under control by breathing but it didn't help. Nat placed her arms around her and Lucy returned the hug, making Nat hold her even tighter and finally, Lucy let go and dissolved into sobs. She hadn't realized it but this was the first time since her parents' death that she actually cried about it. It took long for her to release everything but Nat's presence was enough to keep her from completely falling to pieces. Slowly, the sobs quieted down and finally subsided completely. The two pulled back and Nat looked at Lucy intensely and wiped a few remaining tears away.
Lucy knew Nat would want to talk more but she couldn't keep it in anymore. "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry for everything, I just couldn't comprehend what was going on with me and I did so many stupid things and I'm so sorry for the way I talked to you and-," she rambled on before Natasha stopped her.
"Slow down, Lucy. We'll get to everything but we'll do this one after the other. There's quite a lot to get through." The stern tone wasn't lost on the girl and she was quite nervous but she already felt better. They'd talk through this, she wasn't going to be abandoned (though she would've given up on her by now) and everything would be okay – though getting there was going to be hard.
"I want to make sure you understand the gravity of your actions today. You stole a yacht, you took that yacht out for a ride without knowing how to sail one, on a lake witch houses around and crashed it, completely totaled it, and out of sheer dumb luck, no one was hurt."
Lucy sunk her head again and Nat kept silent for a moment to let her words sink in. She avoided thinking about it so far but hearing her actions and their consequences laid out so plainly forced her to face facts. She didn't know how she ever justified her behavior but she sure couldn't think of anything now. It was just complete disregard for not only the rules but the law out of pure boredom. Admitting to that was difficult but there was no other way – she had to face the consequences now, no matter how awkward they might be. Her actions had been far more embarrassing and childish and nothing could be worse than that, things could only go uphill from here.
Natasha must've followed her thought process as she continued. "I trust you remember our conversation after you stole one of Tony's car back in the fall?"
Lucy turned pale at that and her stomach performed a flip. She did remember – vividly.
"What did I say to you?"
Of course, Nat would want her to explain. And Lucy wasn't going to argue – not anymore. So, with her voice trembling she spoke up.
"You said that if something like that happened again, the discipline then would look like a warm-up."
"Correct." Natasha's voice was somber and almost sad. Lucy kept her head down. She didn't need the same expression in her mentor's eyes as well. "I had hoped it would never get this far but evidently you are set on proving me wrong these past weeks. I know you're sorry and you're starting to understand but I think you need to hear this, no matter how much it hurts, so that something like this will never happen again."
This didn't sound good at all and Lucy flinched slightly as Nat took her chin in her hand again and forced her to look up into her eyes. Lucy tried to calm her breath and gathered all her courage not to let her gaze drop.
"I don't want you to grow up as a spoiled trust fund kid who doesn't think any of her actions have consequences, especially since we avoided court."
Natasha's clear words hit Lucy hard. She wanted to deny them but she couldn't. Not just the incident today but all she did in the past months showed her entitlement – something she'd never used to rely on much, especially not since moving into the tower. Lucy had never wanted to be like that, in fact she'd made it a point not to use her wealth and influence in the same way Olivia and the others did, but she'd done exactly that. It was shameful to admit but one more step on the way to rectification. What Nat said also affected Lucy in another way – it gave her security. That feeling was intensified when Natasha continued, though it also made Lucy feel worse and worse about her behavior.
"You made the decision for the adoption. Had you gone with the emancipation, I could let you do whatever, but you are my daughter and I'll make sure you grow up with the right ideals."
Lucy's eyes grew slightly as Natasha's gaze was completely serious and intense. She always said Lucy was like her own kid to her, but seeing her as her actual daughter? It made Lucy incredibly happy but Nat's words also hit a lot harder. She knew Natasha was waiting for some form of reply so she kept her eyes locked and nodded slowly.
"This needs to be a completely clean slate for you, so I want you to tell me everything that you did in the past weeks that you know I won't be happy with." While Natasha's tone was strict and left no room for argument, Lucy hesitated. Nat just shook her head and fixed a stern gaze on her. "You just stole and crashed a yacht. How much worse can things get?"
She had a point. Lucy closed her eyes briefly before holding Nat's gaze again.
"You already know that the sleepovers at Liv's weren't exactly rule-abiding. But I also skipped school with her sometimes to sneak out and drink," she said quietly, Nat's expression not changing. "Especially when I was grounded after sneaking on the mission."
It felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off her chest. Lucy was also grateful to Nat that she didn't yell or look even more disappointed, even as she continued.
"I understand that you are hurting but I can't let you go on any longer and destroy your life and get into these dangerous situations." Her tone got stricter and her eyes focused on Lucy intensely. "It's also no excuse for you to treat the others with disrespect and lashing out at them."
"I apologize for not stepping in earlier," Nat added and Lucy looked up in surprise. "I should've taken you in hand a long time ago but I thought you needed time to realize all of this yourself. I understand now that that was the wrong approach and I promise you that I'll help you find safer ways to deal with your grief and anger."
Lucy couldn't help but tear up once more. "Thank you," she responded quietly, in a hoarse voice.
Nat finally gave a small smile as she continued. "For a start, there's an entire tower full of people who all have experienced similar problems who will offer you any help they can. I'll also keep a tighter rein on you from now on, starting the boundaries we set out downstairs, so that this self-destructive behavior will finally come to a stop."
All of this settled the unrest inside of Lucy that had kept her up so many nights and that she usually drowned in whiskey to forget.
"You'll also go to therapy to deal with your parents' death. It's a therapist who knows Shield, so you can talk openly with them and I won't know what you talk about. It's completely confidential unless you're at risk of harming someone else or yourself."
Lucy was sure that Nat had expected some resistance to this plan as her eyes hardened slightly as she said it, but she wasn't going to fight it. In fact, it sounded like a great idea. Now that she had taken the decision to make things right, she wanted to deal with everything. Every single girl in her year saw a therapist anyways, so she wouldn't exactly be strikingly different. She nodded and Nat relaxed visibly and offered another small smile.
"Is there anything else you want to say?"
Her stomach turned again, because she knew exactly what was coming now. Wanting to just get it over with, Lucy shook her head and got up voluntarily.
Natasha nodded softly. "Unbutton your pants and over my knee, you know the drill."
Lucy complied with the order and Nat took her wrist and softly pulled her over her knee. The all too familiar position had Lucy almost in tears again, especially since she knew that this would be worse than anything before. She remembered the punishment from when she took Tony's car – if this was going to be harder, it wasn't going to be fun.
Nat pulled down her pants and underwear in one fell swoop and Lucy hadn't expected anything different. The first swat took her by surprise but the first round went by pretty swiftly, Lucy exhaling sharply when Nat's hand covered spots that were already hit.
She paused and when she continued, Lucy felt the ruler connect with her butt. Every swat added more sting to the persistent pain and after the second circuit, tears started to form in her eyes. The pain was one thing but every slap also drove home Natasha's disappointment and displeasure with her actions while also intensifying her guilt, remorse and repentance.
After the fourth round, Nat paused. "Why are we here?"
Lucy took in a shaky breath. "Because I stole a yacht and crashed it and endangered my life and Wanda and Peter's and because I broke the rules when I went to Liv's to drink and skipped school. And I didn't deal with my emotions right and didn't talk about my parents' death…" she trailed off.
Nat sighed. "You are correct that you're being punished for the yacht, the drinking and the skipping school and also for your behavior in the tower during the past few weeks. There were one too many incidents where your manners were absolutely deplorable."
Lucy buried her head even deeper in her arms that were soaked in tears by now.
"But this is not about you not talking about your feelings. While I'm going to deal with the consequences of your actions if your copying mechanism mean you're breaking the rules, I won't ever force you to deal with your issues in a specific way. All I can do it suggest what you do and hope that you trust me and recognize what the right way it."
As Nat tipped her forward, Lucy grabbed her trousers tightly. The first swat at her sit spots hurt and her mentor didn't ease up one bit; on the contrary, she seemed to really want to make this memorable. Lucy couldn't blame her, adding up everything she'd done during the past weeks, she probably deserved more than one spanking.
Natasha continued to methodically cover Lucy's bottom. She knew it would take the girl longer than usual to let go – the girl built up too much of a shell and bottled up too much guilt and anger, consequently leading to the harshest spanking she'd ever received. Finally, Lucy went limb over her knee and started sobbing and Nat immediately stopped the punishment and began to rub Lucy's back.
Lucy registered Natasha stopping the swats but she couldn't stop sobbing. It took longer than usual for her to calm down, just as it had taken longer for her to completely submit to the punishment. After some time, she'd calmed down enough and Nat pulled her clothes back in place and lifted her up and sat her on her lap. Without hesitation, Lucy threw her arms around Nat and cried into her chest. Nat stroked calmingly up and down Lucy's back and softly hummed a Russian lullaby.
"I'm so sorry for the way I behaved, I swear it won't ever happen again," Lucy sobbed while Nat placed her chin on Lucy's head.
"I know and you've been punished and forgiven." Nat smiled. "Clean slate, as promised."
Lucy tightened her grip and snuggled closer. "I still don't know how you can do that. I've been terrible."
Her mentor pressed her closer. "You never were terrible, but I was definitely less than happy with your actions. But I will always forgive you… you need to get that in that stubborn head of yours."
Her words elicited a tired smile from Lucy, the entire day had been draining and emotional. She clung closer to Nat and soaked in the comfort and security she'd been craving for weeks. No matter how much she tried to convince herself of the opposite, she needed her – and it wasn't a bad thing. She was lucky to have her, have someone who cared about her, enough to correct her and not let her make mistakes any longer.
"I love you, mamochka," she said so quiet, it was almost inaudible.
Natasha understood her perfectly and her heart skipped a beat. She'd been thinking of the girl as her daughter for a while, especially since the adoption had gone through but as always, there was this doubt in her mind whether Lucy saw her the same way. She'd never expected the girl to call her anything like that ever, especially so close to her parents' death. The woman tightened her grip and the two sat like that for a few minutes, relishing in each other's company and closeness that both had been missing in the past weeks. Nat could feel Lucy getting more and more tired so she nudged the girl and managed to get her to bed. She was gone within minutes and Natasha watched her sleep with a smile. Finally, things were returning back to normal. She'd missed it.
###
When Lucy opened her eyes the next morning she took a moment before the events of the past day came crashing down. While they made her feel incredibly stupid, she was also very relieved that she finally managed to make things right with Nat. Why she'd needed to crash a yacht for that instead of just opening her mouth and talking about her problems like a goddamn adult was beyond her.
Swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, Lucy sucked in a sharp breath as she put weight on her backside. Natasha had definitely made her displeasure known, she thought as she pulled a face. Couldn't say she didn't deserve it. But something felt still wrong inside and with a stitch to her heart she knew that there was one thing she needed to make right, one more person to apologize. She dressed quickly – once more whimpering as she pulled the jeans up – and made her way downstairs. It was early morning so she thought the workshop was her best bet. Chance were, he hadn't gone to bed at all.
When Lucy got to the glass door, she could see Tony sitting inside and even though she knew she had to resolve this, it was hard. She remembered what she said to him before they went to Malibu and she couldn't believe she was still alive – how did Nat not kill her? But there was no point in stalling this. It was hard to step up but she needed to face the music. Images of her grandma caught up with her again – she managed to suppress them while she'd been stepping out of line – but now that she made up with Nat, she was able to stomach those thoughts again. Lucy hoped Peggy would be proud of her for making things right, even though she'd be absolutely appalled at the way they'd gone. She also knew that her grandma would be completely outraged at the way Lucy had talked to her godson and just the thought almost made her physically sick. With a slight shake of her head, she took a deep breath and raised her hand to knock on the glass.
Tony's head flew up and turned towards the door and Lucy recognized instantly that he hadn't gotten much sleep. The man said something indistinctly to JARVIS and the door slid open, allowing Lucy to enter. With weak knees, she walked closer and saw that he was working on the watches – he'd definitely worried a lot.
He didn't say anything but his face had turned expectant. Lucy took a deep breath and just got it over with.
"I'm so, so sorry," she began with a shaky voice. "For the way I talked to you before we came here and the things I said. I don't know what came over me. I was angry but that's no excuse for the way I behaved." She stocked and observed Tony's expression that had turned softer and lost some of it's sternness.
"You are one of the strongest people I know and you do so much good and it was completely unfair of me to bring up your past. We don't do that here and I know that. I'm really, truly sorry."
Now Tony's face turned to a smile and he opened his arms and that was all the invitation Lucy needed. Some tears had built up while she talked and she didn't try to contain them anymore. Tony soothingly stroked her back and when they pulled apart, he proudly smiled at her.
"Thank you, that means a lot to me," he said softly while taking Lucy's shoulders. He looked at her intently. "I know how you're feeling, so please come to me and talk to me. I don't want to push you but I feel like you've come to a point where this cannot go on."
Lucy nodded and dropped her gaze but quickly remembered her manners and forced her eyes up again. "I talked about that with Nat yesterday. I'm also gonna go to therapy, but I do want to talk to you. I just wasn't sure whether you still wanted to see me… after everything I said."
Tony shook his head. "There is nothing you could say or do that would make me not want to talk to you, understood?" Lucy nodded so he continued. "And I think it's great that you decided to go to therapy, it'll help a lot."
"I hope so," Lucy smiled. She hesitated. "I just don't know how I'll ever be able to live normally again. It seems stupid, my parents were even more unavailable than yours."
"It will get better," Tony promised. "It doesn't have anything to do with your relationship with them, to be honest. It'd be hard in any case but with time you learn to live with it and remember that you have everyone here care about you."
"And much more than my parents ever did," Lucy huffed but offered a small smile at Tony's pained expression. "How did you deal with it then?"
"You were quite spot on," he admitted with a wonky smile. "I was drinking, drunk driving, drugs, everything problematic – and all things that would get you into deep trouble here."
Lucy grinned, knowing she'd stay far away from that now anyway.
"I know it seems hypocritical, but I don't want you to make the same mistakes. I'm not proud of anything I did, and I know now, and probably knew back then, that it was completely wrong and unacceptable. I wish now that I would've had someone to yank me back in line," he said sadly and Lucy moved closer to him.
"I'm sorry, I brought all that up again-"
"Oh no, don't start," Tony smiled. "I need to be able to talk about it. It's my past and my choices, but I want to make sure you won't ever have anything like that to explain."
Lucy smiled. "Thank you. I can't believe you all can just forgive me like that."
"Of course, we can," Tony said vehemently. "We know you're a good girl and that this was just a bump in the road. You'll do your punishment and everything will go back to normal. I'm really proud of you for facing the consequences, especially after yesterday." He also smiled. "Officer Helton was a bit impressed with you, I think."
"Yeah, he was nice," Lucy said softly. "Made me see the light somewhat."
Tony nodded. "I'm glad."
When he paused, Lucy continued. "I promise I'll come to you whenever I need to. I won't let it escalate like this again."
"Thank you and you know you always can, no matter what or when."
Tony looked around. "You wanna help a bit? I'm just finishing the watches for you – don't worry, they're gonna look good. I'm designing them after all." He smirked.
Lucy nodded enthusiastically and turned to whatever Tony was directing her to. It felt good working like this again, no tension in the atmosphere and just enjoying each other company. She'd always known that Tony and her thought along very similar lines and having some one-on-one time was always a treat in the tower.
"So… have you gotten any sleep?" Lucy smirked as Tony flinched slightly.
"I'm not gonna tell you how much because you shouldn't lie to Natasha or Pepper but they'd kill me if they knew how little."
Lucy chuckled and concentrated on the minute details of the watch face.
Nat had gotten up and checked in Lucy's room, but the girl had already gotten up. She had an inkling where she might be, so she made her way down to Tony's workshop. When she walked down the stairs and could see through the glass, she could see both of them working and laughing together. Pleased with Lucy she smiled. She had no doubt that her daughter would try and make things right as quickly as she could but it filled her with a different kind of pride that she did so completely unrequested. Nat would've loved to just let them work, but breakfast was ready and looking at Tony, she knew he'd barely gotten any sleep. Putting on a stern face, she entered the code and the lab door slid open.
The engineers both looked up and smiled at the spy as she entered.
"Morning, Tony," Nat greeted him, while throwing a small smile towards Lucy.
"Morning, Tasha," he responded sweetly and Lucy almost started snickering again. It was always fun to try and see Tony get out of deep waters with Nat.
The redhead narrowed her eyes. "How much sleep did you get last night?"
Lucy bit her lip as Tony flinched. It was funny how Natasha could reduce even the guys to fidgeting ten-year-olds.
"Not enough probably," he said quietly, almost like a question.
Nat nodded. "Correct. So you'll both come up for breakfast and then you will go to bed and catch up on some sleep."
Tony nodded and jumped up, Lucy grinning and following slower.
Natasha placed an arm around Lucy's shoulders and smiled at her. "How are you?"
Lucy smiled back. "I'm good. I had to make things right with Tony, so I came down here directly. We talked about everything." She stocked and lowered her eyes. "I can't believe the way I talked to him before we came here." She shook her head and Natasha tightened her hold.
"I wasn't very impressed with that. You know I don't stand for it when someone attacks the family, especially when they use their past against them."
Lucy's head dropped even further, but Nat stopped walking and lifted her chin, forcing her to look up. "You recognized that that was wrong and went to apologize of your own volition. I could not be prouder of you."
Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes again and Lucy had to swallow a few times before she nodded.
The two got upstairs and as soon as Lucy saw Steve, she went over and apologized again. She hadn't forgotten his reaction the last night and she knew he'd been bitterly disappointed. Tony must've had a chat with him as all reservation was gone and he forgave her without question. Once more she wondered how she could ever deserve such a family.
Breakfast was long and relaxed, and Lucy was finally able to let go of the tension that had surrounded her around other family members the past couple of weeks. Peter and Wanda seemed much more comfortable as well – except for the obvious fidgeting – and they could finally talk normally again. There was nothing to hide anymore on Lucy's side. They also made plans for their volunteering. Lucy had thought of a few places she'd like to do but the senior citizens' home was probably on top of that list. Or maybe the homelessness shelter. She felt good. It'd be a way of repaying the community – something she'd neglected completely since she started stepping out of line.
Looking around the table, Nat threw her a smile and so did Tony. Lucy breathed in deeply and loaded another fork of eggs and bacon. Life was finally normal again – she'd need time to properly process her parents' death but now she knew she wouldn't go down that dangerous, lonely road. No one here would let her.