VITANI

I was fast asleep when I felt something nuzzle me. I was still tired from being up all night thinking about my mate's father. Seeing him last night broke my heart. I couldn't get the picture of him struggling to breathe as he laid on the den ground out of my head. I guess you can say it gave me a nightmare. so you can say since I'm just getting some sleep now I don't want to be disturbed.

"...mm w-what?"

"Vitani wake up it's time to go."

"go...go where?" I had to wait for my groggy vision to clear before I could see the extra figure standing in our den. It was the Shaman. "Oh..."

"We must go now, my king and queen." I quickly got to my paws I began to follow them out of the den. We all came to a stop when we heard a little whimper fill the den, Roho. I paused immediately. I knew it would be too good to be true. My son has an eight eye when it comes to being left alone. He hates it, it won't even matter is he's fast asleep, knocked out cold- dead to the world. He'll still manage to wake himself up when he knows your about to leave.

It has always been like that, even when he was a newborn. He and I are attached at the hip. I should have known better to think I could get away with leaving his side for three seconds. "...mom?" his eyes were still closed. "a...are you still here? mommy?".

I turned to face Kijivu. " We have to take him with us." he didn't argue, we didn't have the time. I went back and picked up Roho, soon following after my mate and the shaman. when we got to king Kijani den you could hear the loud of his faint breathing. barely. I let Kijivu go first, I had to muster up some courage before I could take another step.

the lion I started to consider a father was now leaving me, I don't think I have the courage to face that. I felt a hand land in the mids of my back it was the shaman.

"Go, my queen, our king will need you." Right. I took a breath and walked in. The inside of the cave was slightly illuminated by the large moon that hung in the sky. I went and sat next to Kijivu, placing our son between my front legs. He had instantly gone back to sleep. I leaned against my mates' side as we watched his father take his last few breaths.

Everything went peaceful after a few moments. for the longest moment, we both just stood there staring at him. I oddly thought death would be harsher to look at than this. something that would make you turn your head turn in disgust, bawl your eyes out in pain. I didn't feel that. Was I wrong to not feel that? especially for someone who I consider to be my father?

looking at him I felt relief, not on my part but for the king. He looked at peace. He was fighting so hard to be here, to stay for his son, grandson...me even. the rest of the pride. it was hard for the king of the mountain pride to let go of his land and his family. "He looks... at peace now."

The shaman came from behind, she rested a furry hand on the king's chest to confirm that he had passed. " I'm sorry Kijivu."

My king held his head low. I felt his body trimer up against mine. I have never seen his emotionally sad before. He's always been so upbeat and optimistic. Half the time I thought I was the older one in our relationship. "It'll be about Ki."

"Yea... I know."

"he's in a better place now and not suffering."

"...right. Can I have a moment...alone please?"I hesitated because I didn't know if that was the right answer. does he think he needs to be alone when in actuality he needs a shoulder to cry on? I don't want to leave him by himself

"...sure. if you need anything. I'll just be outside."

"It's fine Viatni really. ...we both knew it was coming. I know you're tired, you and Roho can head back to the den."

"Are you sure?"

"yes, completely. I'll be here soon." I nuzzled him, before picking up our son. but if we're being honest I'm glad he's sending me away.

"Shaman, can you walk back with them or me."

"Of course my king. Come my queen." queen. Hearing that title never hurt as much as it did until now. Once we arrived to the den and I placed my son back down. looking around, taking in what had happened what was actually happening now. what would have to happen officially...I could have collapsed. "Why don't you sit down my queen."

"...right."

There was an awkward silence between us as we both waited for Kijivu to return. it had only been a few minutes but it was starting to feel like forever. Maybe I should go get him...see how he's holding up. "you stay here, I'll go see how our king is going-"

"Wait, could you stay here just for a second..." I played with the small turf of hair on Roho head. "I don't know if this is a question I should ask you or you'd know but, what do we do now? where do we go from here? I mean- I know what we have to do officially. We both take the crown and the kingdom...but the idea of not having king Kijani here with us...to help us...is daunting..." I saw a small smile come to the shaman wrinkled face. " I'm sorry I know I'm asking a stupid question, I should know better..."

"There are no stupid questions." right, just stupid lions asking the questions. " you're worried, that's normal."

"worried?... I'm two seconds away from having an early mid-life crisis..." I voiced hyperventilating " I am not ready for this. I should be ashamed of myself... look t me, I'm freaking out here over becoming the official queen when my mate just lost his father...i should be with him...kings I'm terrible. I will be the worst queen in the history of this land...at least with Kijivu father being here he was some sort of security...support for me."

"Why do you say that?"

" Isn't it obvious, I don't know what I'm doing. My family didn't prepare me for anything like this- and if it wasn't going king Kijani filling in in every area I lack... I'd be even more pathetic than I am now. I'm pretty sure my own lionesses don't take me seriously. how can they? I'm half their age, from another pride and they constantly remind me of how...different Roho looks like his father."

"Well, my queen when you say it like that. it is hard to take in."

"Hard, it feels impossible I feel like a fraud. I don't belong here. And it doesn't help that I brought my baggage of lions I have to call my family. Shaman this is such a beautiful land, I don't want to ruin it... and ruining good things is something that runs in my family." I took a breath." Wow...finally saying that feels really good." i could feel my pending anxiety is leaving.

"Keeping thing in isn't good my queen."

"I know, but I have no one else to talk to. I won't bother Kijivu with my personal insecurities. I can't go to my lionesses because honestly none of them are my friends. Yes, they respect me because they have to. Do you think they would do that if I was just some random lioness? When it's all side and done, it usually just Roho and me spending time together."

"Vitani, may I call you that?"

"yes, of course."

"I haven't known you very long but I feel i can comment on this matter for you."

"Please, you helped me birth my son, so technically you know everything there is to know about me..."

" if you don't mind me being blunt but you seem to be a lioness that puts an extreme amount of pressure on yourself don't you."

"Oh, what made you think that?"

" You also lack confidence in yourself and your ability, to tend to make up the worst seniors in your head and your self-esteem could use some working on."

"I...okay" damn, read me why don't you.

"Look, I don't say these things to be mean, I say these things because they are something for you to work on. you are smart. You have family problems- everyone has family problems but you can't let that stop you before you even try to succeed. you don't like your mother or your father, that's fine. be the lion they weren't for yourself, for your son, for your kingdom. you don't need to be perfect and know what you're doing before you're given the thrown. sometimes it's just given to you, and you have to trust yourself to do what you think is right."

"B...but what if I don't know what is right...what if I'm too stupid." because it's not like being called worthless and stupid the majority of your cubhood life had any effect on me. None what so ever... fearing I can't please and they'll throw me out like yesterdays prey others doesn't scare me at all.

"You have a good heart. You'll know what is good, but it something you have to put effort into doing." I listened to what my Shaman said, and looked at my son. He was by far the most perfect thing I have even done - that I will be able to matter how he got here. I'd do anything for him. I guess it's time I got off my tail of self pitty to be the best mother he'll need. The best queen my king will need. I can do this.

"...Thank you, Shaman." I bent down and gave Roho a kiss before leaving. Stay with him for me. I have to go be with my king I'm not going to let him go through this alone." Today was going to be a hard day.

RyanSquad- Oh don't worry we're going to get a major redemption. I've been planning the retake of the pride lands almost 30 chapters ago lol. You are right it's going to get darker for sure before it gets better.

Wolf heart 22- Well you know it has to before they reunite.

KawaiiCutie12- lol right she going to lose it, maybe, we don't know. it's been a while since they've last seen each other. and honestly, they are completely different lions now.