Chapter 15

When Stella was a little girl, she was always sticking up for the other kids. She'd take the blame for anything they'd done, she would fight for them (if she had to), but mostly, her determination to do the best for everyone in her life remained apparent at such a young age.

Some of the stories she would tell Mac about her childhood growing up in care broke his heart. But sometimes, he found himself laughing at her tales. She was stubborn and arrogant, but fiercely loyal to those she loved.

He supposed that's what he'd miss most about her.

Shut up, Taylor, he told himself. You haven't lost her yet.

She has been brought in a few hours ago, the plan being that she would undergo surgery to remove the bullet from her intestine and would be moved to critical care for the best chance of recovery. Had she not jumped in front of James to take the bullet, however, none of this would have happened. She wouldn't be fighting for her life, she wouldn't have to worry about recovering in critical care, and Mac wouldn't have to worry about her from the most uncomfortable seat in the entire waiting room.

This isn't about you.

Indeed, this was about what on earth was going on with Stella. Stella could be a martyr, granted. But never in such a short period of time had she been shot twice. She was more careful than that.

In fact, she had made it more than clear in the following weeks that her own personal safety was not a concern anymore. She wasn't acting like the Stella they all knew and loved. In the past few weeks, he could only describe her as a shell of who she used to be. There was no spark in her anymore; only animosity and tears. Of all the fighting and crying he had witnessed from her, it was actually her submission to him which concerned him most of all. Just before she was shot, he said those words he knew she hated we need to talk. And without even putting up a fight, she agreed. Stella wasn't one to take concern in the spirit in which it was intended (she never has been). There was always a bit of a fight, she'd learned that off of him after all.

Not today.

Instead, she had agreed there was something needing discussed and only moments later, threw herself in the path of a bullet. Any other time, Mac might have merely accepted her martyrdom and moved on. But there was something niggling at him. There was a problem.

He was brought out of his thoughts by the presence of another person by his side. A dark-haired detective, yielding a very shitty cup of coffee.

"You and I have got to stop meeting like this," spoke Angell, handing him the latte from the local vending machine. She watched him carefully, smiling a sad smile that barely reached her eyes.

"Seems like the only way when Stella keeps getting people shot," he replied. There was no malice or anger, just a simple statement of fact. "Thought you'd be the last person to want to see Stella."

"Why's that?"

He looked over at her, as though he couldn't understand why she wasn't getting it. He couldn't help but soften a little; he and Stella had never been much better.

"Well, because of Stella, you've got 6 weeks on the field with De Marco. Can't be much fun, can it?"

"Speak for yourself," she grumbled. "Who's going to be your right hand man with Stella out the game? Messer? If I were you, I'd rather fly solo than call Danny my right hand man."

He looked down in sadness. She was right; who would take her place if she didn't make it? They'd been partners for 13 years. Friends for 15 years, too. She had been the only constant in his life since Claire died, and without her, he was nothing.

Not that he'd admit that to Jess. Instead, he forced a chuckle. She didn't mean it with anything except kindness. She didn't mean to send his brain into overdrive.

"Is he in custody?"

She nodded, "Yeah, Danny and Lindsay are interviewing him. Flack wanted to - but we didn't think that was wise. Thought he might throttle the bastard with his one good arm. I've been sent to take your statements, anyway. How's Stella?"

He shrugged, "In surgery. I've not had any updates yet. But she must be doing okay, otherwise they'd have said."

"She's in good hands," Jess agreed, although Mac could see even she had doubts. She took a moment, contemplating her next statement, when finally she spoke.

"And Mac, how are you?"

In love with her. Can't imagine life without her. Miss her. Can't live without her. So incredibly grateful for her. Can't go on without her.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I need to go call Peyton, let her know I won't be home for dinner."

Even as he left her, he felt Jess' critical eyes watching him.

He wasn't okay, how could he be?

Sorry it's so short. I'm also sorry it's taken so long. Working in healthcare right now is a tad chaotic! I hope everyone is safe and well, my messages are always open if the current crisis is getting you down.