SIMBA

We waited along the outskirts of the border. Each of us taking watched every two hours, making sure the other had time to rest. So far, nothing has happened. Neither on your side or the lionesses. yet knowing this still didn't ease my mind. I found myself constantly drifting to the dark space in the back of my mind. wouls this be another price rock situation? and if so, I have no choice in running now. I have to fight.

When I heard Kye come up beside me, it took me from my thoughts. he sat next to me like he was ready to take my shift. but I knew it wasn't the time for that. "Shouldn't you be resting up for your watch?" I turned to look at him. His eyes were set looking at the night sky. The constellation seemed to twinkle more in his dulling grey eyes.

"Naw, I'm good." he commented with a laugh. " what you think I'm too old too?"

"No, it's just- I don't know."

"I'm only joking with you, through my daughter on the other paw might not seem to kind of the joke." I heard him chuckle, was he not mad at me anymore? fro this, for everything?

"Oh."

"So tell me, is this you playing a joke on her, or is this the real thing?" hell, I'm sure it felt like I was. For a few seconds at grabbled at what to say. I always found it hard to just come out with the truth. Say the frist thing on my mind.

"It's the real thing, sir." there was quiet for a moment. and in that small time, I felt want to get hit in the gut for dragging this out so long.

"Well well, that's something for sure."

"Look, I know you're pissed at me like she is. and I don't blame you... I was never going to tell her because I never expected this to happen. and now everything has blown up in my face." the words came rushing out like water down the waterfall. Each word I hoped was a better statement a better explanation in clearing my name.

"Ha, that's for sure." Kye's calmness and joking matter shocked me.

"Wait, you don't sound mad, like before?" I voiced, eyeing him because sooner or later he would. He would blow up in my face and tell me off and make me feel like the ass that I am.

"I'm not mad, was never mad. I knew something serious had to have happened so I was concerned more so about you." really concerned, about me?

"Well, you must be judging me fairly hard then..."

"I can't judge other lions choices, without knowing their story. I can say I didn't know yours all that well, I imagined a few things- you being some king from another kingdom, ha I wasn't thinking along the lines of that but. I knew it had to be something to have you run away from home." I'm sure he must be thinking of when he feist met me, I was a mess. I had no food or water for days- hell patches of my fur started to fall out. I looked like I was at death door, and Kenya just so freely brought me in."So how bad was it?"

"it was, indescribable. everything happened when i was young. My father dying, my uncle taking over...all these sudden changes being made, hyenas invading our land." slowly the memories started to flood my forethought. that day in the gore was just like any other day for me. and yet he ending changed me forever.

"...It must have been hard for you." I breathed out the cool night air that filled my lungs. Looking up at the stars I felt so tiny compared in the vastness of the endless night sky. My problems were seemingly irrelevant.

"I honestly don't remember what i felt initially, everything happened so fast. I mean when my father died, I didn't even know what death was. I just thought he had fallen asleep and would wake up soon but." I paused.

"But you knew something was different, something was...off. When you're a cub you don't have the vocabulary to say what you're thinking or the life experience to know what death is- but you do know that it is something happening." I never thought of it like that but yeah. I didn't know nat to say or how to say it- hell what to even ask. but i knew something had happened to my dad that day. I just didn't know exactly what.

"...Yea, my mother never fully told me. I just knew it had to be bad because she was always crying and I never use to see her cry before."

"You know cubs internalize their parent's struggle, whether they know it or not. Sons their mothers and daughters their fathers. I know when the girl's mother died, I felt like I had lost control of everything. i was struggling to figure out how to take the next steps. For Khole she started taking more a leadership role on my part, I of course asked her to step up to the plate and take care of her younger sisters. She was about a year old. Now Kenya on the other paw reacted much differently, she started to become more of a control freak. Needing to know everything, having it explained to her in she hated surprises."

"..Yea that sounds like her." and thinking of it, Kenya never spoke to me much about her mother either. I knew it was a touchy subject for her.

"I never told the girls their mother was dying, she didn't want me to. I still figured they were still young, at least Kenya and Khali. But knowing what I know now I regret that decision. They should have known, as a father I should have better prepared them for the day they would lose her. I guess... I was so consumed with losing their mother myself, I didn't even think of my daughters." I could see Kye give himself shit for it."You're probably wondering where I am going with this aren't you son?"

"yes Kye, but I think I am getting the picture." residing myself to my fate.

" You're running from a problem that is not only your but your mother. there's an expectation to be held, especially with one with a title such as yourself." as I said, I never asked for it.

"Yes, but that's not all... I don't feel ready for this, I wasn't raised to lead them like I know I should. My uncle who raised me was hateful, selfish, greedy...if anything didn't go the way he wanted, he had a way of making you pay for it. and I was forced to watch it all...to participate in it all. I truly feel I am just as evil as he was...and when I go back to face my cousin whos still there, I know im only going to confirm it."

" That's heavy stuff son."

"The shame I feel, I regret this feel every day, it is spine crushing. I acted just like him, only thinking of myself when my mother and friend needed me most. I just left them. and I knew the only way to free myself from that guilt was to start over. and no one understands me, about anything. Only 'how could I not tell them' 'how could I not be there'... I know I no real king at all, just a pretender."

"Simba, we can't keep judging ourselves from our passed." Kye's voice sounded so sure like he had all the answers. This was something that could be fix with the snap of a claw.

"That's a hell of a lot easier said than done," I mumbled.

"Oh for sure, but once you do that. it makes taking the next steps easier. what are the next steps you have to take?"

"I have to help my cousins, and stop her brother. I have to make him pay for all the suffering he's caused." then I faced Kye I wanted this to be taken seriously by him. Because I knew how much it would mean to his daughters. " Kye, I don't want you or anyone here involved in my mess. I know you made a promise-t but something you're just going to have to pass on to me. Your daughters need you and Kenya right, what are you going to do go fight in some other kingdom battle, and if you get killed then what? your daughter still needs you."

He listened to my words, I could tell by the expression on his face he knew I was right. along with Kenya, he was too old to get involved in a war that didn't concern him. even if he made a promise. Is a promise worth getting killed over?

"What are you afraid of son?" he asked the question suddenly, I had no idea where it came from. or what he thought to even ask that.

"Huh?"

"That look in your eye, what are you afraid of, failing?"

"I don't know" what I felt I could not describe, I could only feel. It ate at me. All I could think is of that night I saw my uncle again like he was in the living flesh. my blood still ran cold, when seeing his piercing green eyes."I know what I have to do, I just hope im satisfied after I do it I guess."

" Then after that, you'll be king."

"I don't know about that-"

"Well, surely you don't think you're just going to go off, and play king and then return back here."

"But!-" an aging paw sot its way in front of my face, cutting me off.

"I wouldn't allow it, you're needed someplace else which isn't here." isn't here, how can he say that. I have a whole life, a mate here. I can't just up and leave it all behind!

"But...Kenya!?"

"Will understand, she's a practical lioness remember. I know a conversation with the two of you needs to be had to straighten all of this out before you leave."

"... I love her."

"And she loves you too, but you can have a love for someone here and a duty somewhere else. sometimes that's just the way the world is son." I hated how his words kept me grounded in a truth I wanted to avoid. I wanted to pretend I could fix my old problems and still return to live this life with her... in my head, it all seemed doable.

"This world sucks." we both didn't say much after that. Now I had begged for a hyena would come along, and I could unleash the anger I felt in me into them! but the night was still.

"You get some sleep, I'll take over here." I saw no point in arguing.

"Are you sure you don't want me to help you watch?" still getting up to leave.

"Please, if those hyenas know what's good for them they do best to stay the hell away from his place."

"Alright." before leaving I stopped myself, having some time of reflection on this brief conversation we just had. It wasn't much, but it didn't a lot for me. Hearing that I am not a complete shame and shamble of a lion, from another male, and one I respected felt different. "Kye, thank you for listening."

"No problem son."

*It's Kye being dad of the year for Simba at this moment for me!

+KawaiiCutie12, lol I was definitely playing some epic soundtrack in my head when everyone started walking off after their big talk.