"I'm just worried." Harry told Mr. Weasley and Lupin. "Is there anything the Order can do?" They were in the Weasley's living room, and Harry had gotten through the added information he had gotten from Draco's confrontation with Snape, very carefully.
"Harry, I think it's very unlikely that Draco Malfoy is a Death Eater." Remus said reasonably. "He is only sixteen."
"I'm not saying he's a fully-fledged Death Eater, I'm saying he's doing something for Voldemort." Mr. Weasley winced at the name.
"Even so, Death Eaters consider it a high honor to do something for Voldemort, he doesn't trust his plans with just anyone."
"Are we still on this?" Sirius asked as he took a seat next to Remus, who shifted. "I don't understand why you're so concerned, Harry. I thought you hated Malfoy?" he said pointedly. He thought that Harry was playing a dangerous game, being publicly concerned about Draco. He had become rather fond of Harry's boyfriend and didn't want anything happening to him.
"If someone is in trouble, I want to help them. A boyhood rivalry is hardly a good reason to let someone fall to the dark side." Harry said passionately.
The three adults exchanged fond looks. Harry sighed. They weren't taking him seriously.
"Why don't you talk to him, Harry?" Mr. Weasley said. "If you can put aside your differences, he might very well listen to you. If something is going on, he's much more likely to talk to a peer than someone in an Order he sees against him."
"Malfoy would never talk to me. Can't you check into Borgin and Burkes, see what was purchased?" Harry asked desperately. The three exchanged looks again.
"I can do that." Mr. Weasley finally said. "I may not be able to find who purchased what, but items sold will be simple enough."
"Thank you!" said Harry gratefully. Mr. Weasley nodded and got up to get more of what Harry suspected was spiked eggnog.
"So," Sirius said, putting an arm around Remus, "tell us about Snivellus teaching Defense." Remus ducked under his arm and put some space between them. Harry still wasn't sure what was going on between the two of them. Sirius was still dating Mary MacDonald, but there was undeniable attraction between Remus and Sirius. It wasn't any of his business, but he wanted his father's friends to at least get along.
Harry did tell them all about Snape and was vindicated by their reactions.
"Missed you so much," Draco whispered between kisses. Harry made a noise of agreement as he finished getting Draco's shirt off. He went for the exposed skin he had uncovered, sucking hickeys where his shirt would cover them.
Draco moaned his encouragement as he pushed Harry back further into their room. They tumbled into the piles of cushions on the floor and took a break from their fevered kisses to laugh. Draco threw a leg over Harry as he finished unbuttoning his shirt but didn't make a move to pull it off. Instead, he put his hand under it, feeling Harry's skin and toned muscle with the fabric on the other side of his hand.
"I absolutely love your muscles." Draco murmured against Harry's warm skin. Harry grunted. "They're so perfect. Not too big, hard, perfect. Ugh, I love you, you muscled, toned, gorgeous man." Harry whined. His movements were jerky because he was so excited and jumpy.
Some time later, and Harry had absolutely no idea how much later, they both lay panting, not moving from their views. It was a rather good view. Draco sat up, turned, and fell back against Harry, toe-to-toe. They intertwined their legs and Harry wrapped his arms around his Draco.
Harry used his own wand to conjure a blanket and draped it over the both of them. "Good?" Harry asked, not feeling like using more words. Draco hummed positively, apparently not wanting the same.
"Can we take a nap?" Draco asked sleepily. Harry kissed his neck and set an alarm for a couple hours later.
Harry came to awareness slowly. There was an annoying beeping noise, and he silenced it with his wand. It was his wand, so that worked out. Draco was so beautiful in his sleep. His mouth was open, and he was snoring. Harry kissed his nose and Draco hummed. "Five more minutes." He muttered/demanded. Harry was powerless to deny him.
While he was waiting, he watched Draco sleep. Creepiness aside, he loved doing that. Draco was like an angel when he was asleep. Then when he was awake, he opened his mouth, and that image was destroyed.
Not truly, just when he was being snarky. Which was when he was awake, basically.
Harry started kissing his face, all over. Draco hummed, moving his face away as he slowly awakened. "Stop." He muttered, then gave Harry more room to move to his neck. Harry moved on to it and kissed every spare bit of skin he could find.
"I have a present for you." That woke Draco up plenty.
"Hmm. I like presents." Draco mumbled as he joined the land of the living. Harry kissed him. He loved him so much. "I like that too," he said, as he licked his lips.
Harry sat up and went to get his badly wrapped present. He had foregone being embarrassed about it.
"Here you are," he said as he sat and handed it to Draco. Draco opened it slowly, and Harry watched with a raised eyebrow. It was a broom servicing kit. Harry had gotten much use out of his and figured Draco need one as well.
"Thanks, Sweetie." Draco said, smiling. "Here's yours," he got up and got Harry's present. It was a one-year subscription to Seeker Magazine, along with the first issue.
"Thank you, Babe!" Harry leafed through the magazine, cataloging an article he needed to read about wind currents.
"I'm glad you like it, Sweetheart. I'm honestly starting to run out of ideas for you." Harry laughed.
"Well, I've got plenty for you, and I love anything you give me." They exchanged a sweet kiss.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
Harry had received a task from Dumbledore, relating to the lessons. They had seen a memory of Riddle asking Slughorn about how many horcruxes was reasonable. The memory was corrupt, and it was Harry's task to get the full memory. He failed the next day, when he simply asked for the memory from Slughorn. He was going to have to get creative.
He didn't have any ideas, and the weeks went on. Draco was definitely feeling the effects of the year. He looked worse than ever and Harry was definitely worried for him.
One day, Harry got a bad feeling deep in his gut. Something was very wrong. Something with Draco.
He had no idea where he was, except that he somewhat did. He didn't need to look at the Marauder's Map to know where Draco was. He wandered, but with purpose. He stood outside the door for a moment before opening the door fully.
Inside was Draco, against the far wall, sobbing. He didn't look up when Harry entered the bathroom, nor when he locked the door. He did when Harry came closer, shifting away and telling him to go away. Harry didn't.
Instead, he came closer, slowly, as if Draco was a wounded animal in need of help. "Draco," he whispered. He had no idea what was wrong, but it was something big. Draco shifted away from him, too weak to offer any real obstacle.
Harry came around behind him, pulling his back against his chest. Draco really needed him. Draco protested for a moment before turning to curl around him. "Harry," He whimpered. "I can't…" Draco started hyperventilating.
"Shh." Harry whispered, tightening his hold onto Draco. "You don't need to explain anything to me. Just let it out and let me hold you." Draco let out a high-pitched hysterical sob before throwing his arms around Harry, who gently rocked him back and forth.
They sat there, on the dirty bathroom floor, for some unknown amount of time. Harry, holding Draco, rocking him gently, as Draco sobbed.
"She's all I had," Draco whispered into Harry's shoulder. Harry wasn't sure he was meant to hear it.
*** Last June, after disembarking the Hogwarts Express
Draco walked silently, the only sounds were from Crabbe and Goyle Seniors, one in front, one behind them. It was absolutely disheartening to be led about in his own home. The main parlor was where they were headed, he could tell by the layout. There were Death Eaters everywhere, some were standing guard, others joined their rag-tag group as they moved further and further into the Manor.
There were snickers, and sidelong glances, and meaningful looks. There was not one sympathetic look, glance, or face. The train of Death Eaters, with Draco aboard, came to a stop at the door to the parlor. Goyle pushed past him to take one door while Crabbe took the other, with sinister smiles, they pushed them open. "Enter." Said a high, cold-pitched voice, and Draco felt his insides freeze. Nevertheless, he hid thoughts of Harry behind his occlumency shields, giving him strength, and moved forward into the room.
A figure was standing in front of a roaring fire, facing it, away from Draco. The Death Eaters circled around him, some pushing Draco into the center of the ring.
"Hello, Mr. Malfoy," The high pitched, cold voice said, and Voldemort turned. It took everything Draco had not to scream, not to run away, not to react in any way that would be deemed unfit. Harry's description didn't do him justice.
"Pleased to meet you, as well, my Lord." He said, with a respectful bow. Voldemort smiled.
"Is that so? I've heard rumors about you, little Malfoy. I'm sure they are unwarranted, due to your cooperativeness. This is a very lovely home you have here. It will do well as my headquarters."
"Whatever my Lord desires." Draco said, feeling sick and hiding it behind his shields.
"That is the correct answer. I have another task for you, Mr. Malfoy." There were titters around the room.
"Whatever my Lord desires." Draco repeated, with another bow, keeping his eyes on the carpet at Voldemort's feet.
"Well, with such an accommodating attitude, I almost feel bad about your mother's predicament." With that, he waved his wand, and Draco looked up in surprised.
"Mother!" He broke his carefully crafted display to call out as soon as he saw her. He was grabbed on either side by masked Death Eaters, he couldn't tell who they were, nor did he care.
His mother had been summoned, and she was standing in an over-large bird cage. Length wise, it was a couple inches longer than she was, width wise, it was just big enough for her to raise her hands to grip the beams of metal. She was gagged, but her hands were free, though one wrist had a bronze design. Her eyes were narrowed in disdain. The cage floated, drifting up and down lightly.
"Perhaps a reward is required. Are you familiar with the muggle saying, 'the carrot and stick approach'? The carrot refers to a reward upon completion of a task, the stick to encourage completion by helpfully inserting a punishment with failure. It is derived from a donkey, which is nothing like you, of course." There were mutters and small titters and Voldemort smirked. Draco felt like never smirking again. "In this case, your reward for completing your task is your mother being set free, your encouragement is her death, should you fail."
Draco closed his eyes as the grips on his arms tightened and laughs echoed around the room. This was a nightmare. Any moment he was going to awaken in his own bed, either at the manor or at Hogwarts, it didn't matter, as long as he was awoken soon.
"What is my task, My Lord?" Draco asked, not daring to look at him.
"Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself, young Malfoy?" Voldemort asked, making his way towards Draco. Draco prayed he wouldn't get too close.
"Wouldn't you like to officially join our ranks first, then you may seek your reward, a task set unto you by me?"
Draco took a deep breath. If he phrased this wrong, it could mean the end of his life. "My Lord, I am a Hogwarts student. I have heard various rumors, all pointing to heightened security next year at Hogwarts. I believe I would be better fitted if I were an undercover agent. Besides, it would do well to serve you should you need another spy."
"I see. I have heard rumors from some of my more loyal servants that you would be… shall we say, opposed to receiving a mark." Draco opened his mouth, but Voldemort held up his hand and Draco silenced. "It is alright, young Master Malfoy. It is because of your misgivings that I have set up this state of affairs, for you." There were tittering's again. "Should you succeed at the task I am giving you, I shan't care if you want the Mark or not. Think of that as another carrot, should you succeed."
Draco waited, swallowing his hatred.
"I am tasking you with a very coveted mission. Many of my Death Eaters have failed. I expect that you shall be better than all of them. You shall succeed where others have failed. Do I make myself clear?" Draco waited. "You shall kill Albus Dumbledore."
*** The Present
"He put this spell on me, in place of the Dark Mark," Draco told Harry, still wrapped up in his arms on the floor of the bathroom. "He said it was a bit of an experiment of his. Said it was so he could keep an eye on me. Said it would poison me, and then her, if I did one of three things: talk about my task or her, fail, or try to move her from the manor."
*** Twenty Minutes Previously
"Draco," came his mother's voice from inside his pocket. Classes were over, so he ducked into an unused classroom to answer the mirror's call.
"Mother," he said in greeting. Her face was the worst he had ever seen it. It was shallow, white, and devoid of makeup. He was incredulous to see she had a mole on her chin. It didn't rob her of her beauty, but it certainly made her look like a different person. This was not the mother he remembered.
"I don't have much time," she said. "Things are getting worse here, mi amore. There is no more time. The Dark Lord is becoming restless. I have bought you as long as I possibly could."
"Mother," Draco interrupted, "I don't know what you mean."
"Do not interrupt me. I will not have my son forgetting his manners when I am gone." Draco felt his face whiten as terror gripped his insides.
"Mother, I promise, I have things under control! I'm about to make another attempt on Dumbledore's life! I have—!"
"You shall do no such thing. I will not have my son becoming a murderer. I have been doing some serious thinking. I have had nothing but time these last few months. I have decided that your talents shall not be wasted on a madman's dream. I have been observing, more and more over the last several months, and I have determined that is nothing more than what the Dark Lord is. He is insane, mad, and sick, Draco. He wants things that are impossible. I will not have you serving him. I hope you will take my sacrifice, and fight against him. I want you to join the side of the light, Draco, or flee and hide, to live another day."
"But, Mother—"
"I said, don't interrupt me. I love you, my son. I know I have never been the most exemplary of mothers, but I hope that what I am about to do shall atone for everything I have done to you. I shall not be used to be my son's demise."
"Mother, I wouldn't have anyone else as my mother. You are incredible as a mother, and a more outstanding pureblood matron will never be found elsewhere. Don't do whatever it is you plan to do."
Narcissa's face softened as she looked at Draco's worried face. "I appreciate the sentiment, my wonderful son. I'm afraid things have already been set in motion. Don't let my sacrifice go to waste. Live life to the fullest, find someone to love, and become the noblest of purebloods your Father and I know you can be. Goodbye, my son."
"Mother, wait. Wait!"
"I love you." Her face swirled into a cloud of smoke, "No matter what else I have done, I hope you remember that." Then she disappeared.
"Mother!" Draco shouted. There was no answer. "Mother," he called again, anyway, knowing there would be no answer. He rubbed his eyes, trying to figure out why he couldn't see. He needed to get to her. There was no other option.
He started running, the door banging against the wall as he exited. Students ducked out of the way as he stormed passed, he pushed the ones who didn't out of the way. He made it several corridors, he was alone, and then, there was pain on his arm, where the serpentine spell resided most of the time.
Voldemort had placed an experimental tracking spell on him. It was imperfect, still in the testing stages, and he was the perfect guinea pig. It was a snake, or the outline of one, that would slither around the skin of his body and listen. It had been instructed to catch any phrases related to if Draco talked about his mother, killing Dumbledore, or that Voldemort had any plan at all. "Not to worry," Voldemort had told Draco, "your social and romantic life shall not suffer. It cannot hear anything else. It is an experiment, and once I have perfected it, it shall become the original spell for any Dark Lord wanting his followers to follow tasks set unto them." The snake was instructed to bite the skin of the one it was attached to if he didn't follow his orders. It was connected to another serpentine collar around Narcissa's wrist.
If Narcissa was moved from the Manor, Draco told someone about the plan, or Draco did not complete his mission, the serpentine collar would inject poison both into Narcissa and Draco. It would have been perfect if it detected any sort of wrong-doing on Draco's part, but then, he wasn't sure he would have lived if he had been forced to not talk to Harry.
As he stopped running down the corridor, he looked at his wrist, where he had last seen the serpent. It was smoking, the red, angry lines that made up the snake slowly disintegrating. Draco had a wild moment where he thought it meant he was being poisoned, but then he realized what it must really mean.
He ducked into the closest room, which thankfully was a bathroom, and retched into a toilet. When there was nothing else left to give, he turned, not sure where he was going, and fell to the floor, curling in on himself near the wall. He had failed. His mother was dead.
*** Present
"She sacrificed herself for me, Harry," Draco sobbed as his story came to a shaky conclusion. "I didn't even know she didn't follow the Dark Lord. But she did something, she killed herself, and I'm free. The spell has detached. I don't, I can't—" He fell into more sobs and Harry tightened his grip on him. He wasn't entirely sure what had happened based on Draco's sporadic retelling, interrupted constantly by tears. Now was not the time to question Draco, however. Now was the time to give Draco all the love he deserved.
He knew, in a way, what it was like to lose a mother, and he never wanted anyone to experience it, least of all Draco. He knew that Draco and his mother weren't exactly close, they had a lot of issues between them, but she was his mother. Draco would do anything for her. He loved her.
"I can't believe she's gone. There's no other explanation. She died, Harry, she died to free me, so I could live, so I wouldn't have to kill Dumbledore, or follow anyone else's orders. She said she wanted me to join the light side. I don't understand. I just don't understand." Draco whimpered. Harry kissed the top of his head, still rocking him.
Draco gripped Harry's robes, needing something to hang on to. Something to ground him, because his despair was washing him away.
"She loved you." Harry finally said, hoping this was the right thing to say.
Draco cried a little harder. "She did. She really, really did. I didn't know how much. She never really said. She was a woman of few words, the way a good pureblood wife should be, I guess. She always was the model of a 'good pureblood wife'. I just can't believe she's gone. I'm never going to see her again, Harry, and it's all my fault. I should have tried harder, or done something right away, figured out a way to tell you about it. It's all my fault."
"Draco, she loved you. She wouldn't want you blaming yourself. You, and she, were both put in an impossible situation with no good outcome. She did what she thought she had to do, just as you did."
"I never would have killed Dumbledore," Draco told him, as if the thought had suddenly occurred to him. "I don't want you thinking that. I did make attempts, but I knew he'd detect the magic in the necklace. I just needed Voldemort to see that I'm trying. I had hoped he would let my mother go when he saw that it was impossible but…"
"He meant for you to fail." Harry finished for him. It wasn't that hard to work out. "You are punishment for your father failing his own mission. He never intended for you to kill Dumbledore, he planned for you to die trying." Draco looked up at Harry, dawning realization lighting his face, before it crumpled again.
"There was nothing I could do." He whispered, Harry figured he wasn't meant to hear it. "She saved me." He whispered again. Harry pulled Draco's head down to his shoulder. His face needed cleaning, so Harry conjured a handkerchief and gently cleaned him. Draco made no effort to stop him, didn't even react. "That bastard! He killed her! Harry, you had better kill him and kill him good, do you hear me?" Draco suddenly yelled. Harry quickly cast a silencing charm on the door.
"Son of a bitch killed my mother! This can't keep going on, Harry. I know you're scared, but you have to kill him. Do you understand me?" He grabbed the front of Harry's robes and pulled them close so their noses were almost touching. Harry looked into Draco's grief-stricken eyes and had an epithetic moment. He would have to kill Voldemort. He knew this, but it had never hit him until just then. It was something on his bucket list, that he would have to accomplish at some point before he died, but it was far off into the future. He was still a stupid kid, he didn't have what it takes to kill a dark lord. He would have to figure it out, though. It was coming, and soon.
"I will," Harry promised Draco as well as himself. This seemed to calm Draco. He curled back in to Harry's side. His sobs had quietened, he seemed to have hit the stage where he was mostly numb. He was staring at the bathroom floor, but Harry figured he was seeing something else. Something was eating at him, but now was not the time.
"Come on," Harry whispered to Draco, nudging him lightly. Draco moved away from Harry slightly but didn't get up. Harry stood and offered him a hand. Draco stared at it for a minute before taking it and heaving himself up. Harry told him to wash his hands and they both did so mechanically. Harry got out his invisibility cloak and covered both of them with it. He dismantled the charms he had put on the door and led Draco to the Room of Requirement.
It was slightly awkward moving with Draco so obviously not wanting to, but they finally managed to make it up. Harry called forth a comforting room, decked in Slytherin colors, with a bed as the main attraction. It had multiple mattresses, fluffy pillows, soft blankets, and silk sheets. Harry wanted it to be as comforting as possibly possible. There was a black leather couch in front of a fire, but they both ignored it in favor of the bed. Draco rid himself of most of his clothes, then climbed under the covers in his boxers. Harry made sure he was covered and comfortable before calling Dobby.
"Mister Harry Potter! Dobby is so happy to be seeing you! But sir, this room, I is not knowing if this is a good idea—!"
"Thank you, Dobby," Harry interrupted. "I just wanted to see if you could bring us some chocolate eclairs. We're not going to make it to dinner."
"I sees. I would hate for Mister Harry Potter to miss dinner! May Dobby be bringing him and his guest a dinner tray?"
"We probably won't eat it, Dobby, you don't need to do that."
"'Tis no trouble, sir!" Dobby squeaked before popping away. Harry sighed. Draco hadn't moved once since laying down, facing away from Harry.
Harry sat on the side of the bed and slowly removed his shoes and socks. He was unbuttoning his shirt when Dobby popped back into the room.
"Here is Mister Harry Potter's dinner, sir! I also be bringing dessert, as requested. Can Dobby be doing anything else for Mister Harry Potter?"
"No, Dobby, this is great, thank you." Dobby bowed before making his exit. Harry carried both trays over to the bed, placing them in front of Draco before he took off everything but his boxers. He crawled into his side, then took a look at what Dobby had brought.
"I'm not hungry," Draco mumbled from somewhere under blankets and pillows. Harry sighed.
"I know you're not. It's going to taste like sand, but I need you to eat a couple bites." Draco didn't move. "I'm going to keep asking you until you do it." No movement. "Just eat a couple bites of this fresh-baked, warm, gooey chocolate éclair, and I'll stop bothering you." Draco sighed and sat up. Taking small nibbles from the pastry. He ate half of it before realizing it, then put it down in protest.
"Happy?" He asked sarcastically, before laying down again. Harry had a couple bites of treacle tart, but he wasn't hungry either. He placed both plates on the bedside cabinet and scooted closer to Draco. He wasn't sure if Draco wanted space or not.
He was answered when Draco started scooting closer to him, hesitantly as if he wasn't sure he wanted to. That was all the answer Harry needed. He pulled Draco closer to him and the center of the bed, wrapping his arms around him.
Draco relaxed into the cave Harry created with his body. Harry couldn't see his face from that angle, so he settled his head above Draco's. They laid there in silence, listening to the other breathing. Harry occasionally lifted his head to press kissed the side of Draco's face. He could tell that Draco was still awake, eyes wide and staring. "Do you want to talk about her?" Harry asked him quietly. Draco stayed silent.
"Not right now," Draco mumbled just when Harry thought he wouldn't answer. Harry nodded and kissed him a couple times. Draco turned his head slowly, seeking more kisses and Harry granted them. Draco attached his lips to Harry's hungrily. Harry matched his rising passion kiss for kiss but began to feel a little hesitant as Draco broke off to suck on Harry's neck.
Draco had been desperate before, but not like this. Harry was worried he was taking his grief for his mother out in an unhealthy way. "Slow down, baby." Harry mumbled.
"Why?" Draco muttered against Harry's neck. "I need you." Harry whimpered.
"Baby, please, stop for a minute." Draco had been sucking on Harry's chest, but he paused momentarily. "Maybe we should calm down."
"I don't want to be calm. I just want to lose myself for a minute. Come on, let's lose ourselves in each other." He started kissing what he could reach of Harry's chest.
"Babe." Harry said, "this isn't healthy. It's making me uncomfortable." Draco stopped then, to glare at Harry.
"I see. I give you anything you need, any time you want it, and now that I need something, you won't do it."
"It's not like that Draco. God, I love you, I just want—"
"It's always what you want, never what I want!"
"Draco, please!"
"I never get what I want! I hate this, I hate it! Fuck—!" Draco broke down, sobbing hysterically. Harry pulled him into his arms. "Why? Why, Harry why? Why did she have to die?" Draco pushed against him before collapsing, boneless. Harry caught him and gently laid him down on the bed, not removing his arms from around him.
Draco cried again, and Harry held him. He felt a few tears burning at his eyes but didn't want to take anything away from Draco. He was feeling the loss of his own parents in a way he hadn't before. They had always been dead, for as long as he could remember, there was never a real moment of what Draco was experiencing.
Just when Harry thought Draco was calming, more sobs erupted. Harry rubbed his back and kissed his head. He was a little out of his depth. He wasn't quite sure what to do for Draco, he wondered if Draco had these moments when Harry was upset or if he knew exactly what to do every time. It felt like it was the latter, but Harry had a feeling it was the former.
Finally, blessedly, Draco's sobs quieted to harsh breathing, then quiet breathing, then soft snoring. It wasn't that Harry didn't want to comfort Draco, but he was very glad this part was over, if it was over. He really hoped that it was. He just didn't want to see Draco go through so much pain. He'd be damned if he made Draco go through it alone, however.
He watched Draco sleep for a while, hoping that he wouldn't wake. Then he curled around Draco's cool body and fell asleep.
Draco didn't feel like talking in the morning, nor throughout the day. Draco didn't go to class or meals, but Harry sent him food through the house elves. Every time Harry did see him, he pushed a piece of parchment with a little note on it, sweet things like "I love you" or "Your face is pretty" but Draco smiled a couple times when he read the notes later. That made things worth it.
When Draco finally felt like talking, it was a surprise to Harry. They sat on their couch and Draco would say something about his mother, then be quiet for a while, then say something else. The stories got longer and longer, and through it out, Harry didn't say a word, letting Draco just speak what he needed to say.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you." Draco made a point of saying.
Harry kissed his hair and said, "I understand."
"Did I tell you everything about my mission?" Draco asked Harry. "I know I wasn't being very clear…"
"Voldemort took your mother, and your manor, and put a spell on her and you. The spell was connected and if you told anyone about having to kill Dumbledore, or tried to move your mother, the snake around your mother's wrist would instantly poison her, and you. If you failed your mission, you both would be poisoned."
"Right," Draco confirmed. "He even forbade the elves from going near her, I guess he thought we might try something anyway, but we don't even know what type of poison he used, so it would've been too late."
"We have to tell Dumbledore." Harry told him. Draco was not fond of the idea. He turned white and began shaking his head back and forth.
"No," he said, "no, no, no, no, no, no." Harry raised an eyebrow as he continued, giving him an unimpressed look. Draco kept denying it, but eventually, he calmed with a heaving sigh. "We have to, don't we?" He asked sullenly. Harry nodded. "I mean, I should go. Alone." Draco continued.
Harry shook his head. "I'll go with you."
"Don't be stupid, Harry." Draco disagreed. "If we both go, Dumbledore will start to suspect something. Nosy old coot is one of the last people we need knowing."
"Why," Harry asked, a little offended on Dumbledore's behalf. He could keep a secret, and he'd probably be pretty understanding to boot.
"Are you kidding? He'd either think I'm trying to trick you to the dark side and try to keep us apart or be so happy his eyes will twinkle the secret away. Or ask how our sex life is." They both shuddered at the add on.
"I can't see Dumbledore asking about that," Harry said, but the point was taken. Draco didn't want anyone knowing, and they both felt safer that way anyway.
"I don't want you to have to go alone," Harry protested weakly one last time. Draco took his hand.
"I appreciate the sentiment," Draco said with a small smile. "This is something I should do on my own anyway."
"Alright." Harry agreed. There was quiet for a little while, then Draco continued with a story about once when his mother found a shoe in her mud bath at the spa they went to every year. Harry laughed at the ending.
He knew Draco was delaying going to Dumbledore's office, but he allowed him a couple minutes. The time to ask Draco about what had been bothering him arrived. "Draco, you said that you made 'attempts,' plural, on Dumbledore. I just knew about the necklace; did you do something else?"
Draco was silent, then took a long deep breath, letting it out slowly. "I put poison in a bottle of Madam Rosmerta's Mulled Mead and sent it to him for Christmas. It's a slow acting poison, so there's plenty of time for an antidote." He added as if that made it ok. Harry was astounded.
"Draco!" He yelled, jumping up. Draco was displaced and looked up at Harry with trepidation. "That is so bad! It doesn't matter if it's slow acting, that was a terrible thing to do! What am I going to do with you?"
Instead of answering or defending himself, Draco looked down, waiting for more beratement. He deserved it, but Harry felt most of the anger drain out of him at the sight. He sighed and took a seat next to him. "I know you were in an impossible situation, and there was nothing else you thought you could do. I wondered how you got the necklace to Katie." Draco winced.
"I imperiused Madam Rosmerta." Harry's jaw dropped.
"Draco! If the Ministry finds out, you could go to Azkaban for the rest of your life! You need to take it off her! And you need to go tell Dumbledore about the mead, right now." Draco bit his lip but nodded. Harry sighed. What was he going to do with Draco?
.
Draco had a bewildered expression on his face when he came back. "How'd it go?" Harry asked, closing the book he had been reading and hiding it from Draco. It was about supporting someone going through bereavement. He had magically obscured the title but didn't want to invite questions he would have to lie to.
Draco shook his head. "I forget how strange Dumbledore is. He offered me a lemon drop as I was trying to tell him why I was there, and then he kept interrupting me to ask about homework and talk about the weather. When I finally got out the full story, he offered me his 'deepest sympathies for my mother' and said he already knew about the rest."
Harry sat stunned. He had asked Dumbledore to check on Draco, he had no idea he actually did it. Finally, someone believed him. "Dumbledore knew?"
"Yes. Said he knew since the summer but couldn't approach me without the spell activating against me." That didn't make sense. Harry didn't tell him until after the school year started.
"How did he find out?" He asked cautiously.
"He told me a little about this "Order of the Phoenix? Know anything about that?" He gave Harry a knowing look and Harry grinned sheepishly. Draco shook his head. "Said he has a spy deep within Voldemort's inner circle but didn't want to tell me who it was."
Harry debated momentarily. "I think it's Snape." Draco reared back.
"Severus? No way. He's definitely loyal to Voldemort. No one's that good an actor. He made an Unbreakable Vow to my mother, to kill Dumbledore should I fail." Harry gave him another sheepish look. "Of course, you know about that. I'll give you this, Potter, you certainly do your homework when it comes to me." They both laughed, and Draco settled back into Harry's arms. Harry wrapped them around him.
"I'm not sure about Snape," Harry admitted. "Dumbledore says he trusts him, and I've been wrong about him before. There's just something about him I don't trust." Draco hummed in thought, then shook his head.
"Thank you." He said suddenly. Harry looked at him, or as much as he could see of his face from that angle. "You have always been an incredible boyfriend, but these last couple weeks, I don't think I would've been ok if it hadn't been for you. I'm still not great, or even good, but I think I'm starting to get better, and most of that is because of you. I love you so much. Thank you." Harry felt his heart constrict then lift.
"I would do anything for you." Harry told him softly. Draco smiled then kissed him slowly.
"I would do anything for you," Draco retorted softly, pushing Harry back into the sofa.
Harry moaned as Draco went for his throat. Draco gave him several open mouthed, hot kisses back and forth across his neck as he unbuttoned his shirt, then moved them lower.
"I love you so much." He whispered.
Draco hummed. "I love you too. You hot, beautiful man."
Harry laughed again, pressing another, longer kiss to Draco's neck.
"Where did you get this one?" Draco asked after a long moment, running his finger along Harry's back. Harry wasn't quite sure how he could see it, but there was a long row of small lines across his shoulder heading downward. Each were uniform, less than centimeters apart.
"Ah. I was pushed down onto a rake. It moved upward with my weight on it, and it dug into my back."
Draco took a breath through his nose. "Who pushed you?"
"Dudley. I was raking the yard and asked why he didn't have to help, he said it was because I had to earn my keep. I threw the rake down and went to go punch him but he well, beat me to the punch." He grinned at the wordplay, but looking up at Draco, he could see he didn't. No one seemed to find the humor of his childhood funny.
He couldn't really blame them.
Draco placed kisses to the side of his head, starting of slow and long, but growing shorter and with more desperation.
Harry was concerned. He felt awful when he realized that Draco was fighting off tears.
He moved so he was facing Draco, pulling him to curl around him. Draco buried his head in Harry's shoulder. "I'm sorry," he gasped through sobs that had slowly over taken him. "I'm so sorry."
"There is nothing to apologize for, Baby. Nothing at all." Draco shook his head against Harry's shoulder.
"Why does life have to be so hard?" Draco demanded. "I'm so tired of having to fight, I don't know how you fucking do it. God, I can't. I'm not cut out for this."
"What do you mean?" Harry asked, fear gripping him. Was Draco saying he didn't want to be with Harry anymore?
"I don't have the strength. I'm so weak, and you, god Harry, you are so strong. You deserve someone just as strong as you are."
"Hey!" Harry exclaimed, cutting Draco off from what he was sure would be a very long rant. "You are the strongest person I know, Draco, way stronger than me. I don't know where the hell you're getting this, that you're not strong enough, but I'm here to tell you, you are. No one is my equal like you are, Draco, no one, and I won't have anyone else. Alright? What's gotten into you?"
Draco gave several small chuckles, or they could have been sobs, Harry was upset to realize he wasn't sure. "I was just thinking. You have had to deal with so much shit throughout your life, and you never complain about any of it. I'm just a spoiled little boy with no idea of what reality is actually like. You are so real."
"What we have is real. You are real, you're as real as you could possibly be. I don't care that you grew up as a spoiled brat, you are a good man, and you're fighting the injustices against you much better than anyone else would. I would have been scared shitless and done something stupid if Voldemort tasked me with killing Dumbledore. But you, you went out and made a plan, you didn't roll over and submit, you fought! And I'm so proud of you for that. I love you so much, Baby." Harry cupped his face and kissed him hard.
Draco smiled at him when he pulled back, lip quivering as he bit it. Harry kissed him softly, taking that lip between his own and soothing it with his tongue. Draco whimpered, and pulled back.
"What would I do without you?" He asked as he laid his head against the pillow, looking at Harry with a smile in his eyes now. Harry sighed in relief, happy with Draco's joy.
"I don't know, but you'd be miserable and alone," he teased. Draco chuckled, then leaned forward to kiss Harry lightly.
"Too true." He agreed.
Valentine's Day was dreary, as it had been every year since Harry had been observing it. He glanced over at Draco at his Slytherin table, sipping tea and reading the paper alone. He was looking better than he had been, but still, not like the Slytherin Prince he was used to.
He had arranged a fake detention to explain his disappearance to anyone who cared to find out what he was doing all day and was planning on spending the whole day with Draco. He walked casually to their room, sending a message to Draco to meet him there.
He didn't have to wait that long, but he did finish a big chunk of his book. It had warned him that holidays were hard on people who had just lost someone, and he had a suspicion that Draco might not want to celebrate. He had a plan for every eventuality, even though it was Draco's year to do something for Harry.
Draco entered the room quietly and closed the door slowly, as if he didn't really want to enter the room. Harry smiled at him in a hopefully reassuring way, but Draco grimaced in response.
"Hey, Sweetheart." Draco said. Harry held out his hands and Draco took them both.
"Happy Valentine's. I love you." Harry told him, cautiously but heartfelt.
The corner of Draco's mouth turned up. "I love you too. Happy Valentine's Day." They shared a slow, sweet kiss, and Draco looked at least a bit happier.
"How are you feeling?" Harry asked, sympathetically.
Draco snorted noiselessly. "I should have known you'd know. I forgot about today, Harry. I'm so sorry. The days just kind of blended together. I've been focused on recovering, and I thought it was still January, I guess. I can't believe I did this to you."
Harry kissed the tip of his nose. "I thought you might forget. And I'm not worried about that. I forgot two years ago, remember? It's alright, if I was concerned, I would have reminded you. Come sit down." They sat on the sofa, sideways, with Draco leaning back between Harry's legs. "I have a couple of things planned for today, and we can do whatever you want to do. If you want, we can sneak into Hogsmeade and I can buy you all the chocolate you can eat, and we can eat it all day. I ordered more spa supplies, so we can do that again, if you would like to do that. We can go to the Room of Requirement, and spend all day in bed, ordering food from the House elves. Or, we can stay here and do absolutely anything or nothing. What do you feel like?" Draco didn't respond.
Harry sat up a bit, hoping to see Draco's face. He pushed it towards him with a finger. It was screwed up in an attempt to hold back tears. Draco turned until he was facing Harry and buried himself in Harry's embrace. "I don't deserve you," Draco cried into Harry's neck.
"You deserve better," Harry told him, tightening his hold. That really set Draco off, and Harry mentally cursed himself. He rocked Draco side to side until he calmed.
"I'm sorry. I've been a bit emotional lately." Draco said. Harry nodded.
"I understand. I'm here for you, for whatever you need." Draco bit his lip, and Harry kissed it out. "What do you feel like doing?"
Draco hummed in thought. "I just want to be held by you. For a while. Then, I want to do spa day again. I think my mother would like that." Harry nodded and kissed his head. They repositioned so Draco was in front of Harry, his back to Harry's chest.
They laid there quietly talking a little, but just enjoying being together. After a while, Draco declared it was time to have spa day. Harry laughed and agreed. They hid under the cloak, so they could hold hands on their way up to the Room of Requirement.
When they got there, they were dismayed to discover it was in use.
"Damn." Draco swore. "What do you want to do now?"
"It's your day, you decide." Draco smiled at Harry, lightly bumping his shoulder against Harry's, when the door opened. They both quietened as a head poked out, looking both ways, before the rest of the body came through.
"Come on," Vincent Crabbe muttered to Greggory Goyle as they both exited. Harry and Draco exchanged looks under the cloak as they walked away. The door vanished before either could get to it.
"What were they doing in there?" Harry asked suspiciously as they called forth their own room.
Draco stayed silent until they were inside. It looked exactly as it had the year previously. "I don't have my robe." Draco said distractedly.
"Do you need it?" Harry asked with raised eyebrows, trying to be cute.
"I think they have taken over my mission." Draco said slowly. "I think they have taken over fixing the vanishing cabinet."
"What?" Harry asked, stopping unbuttoning his shirt, thrown by the rapid switching of conversations.
"I keep forgetting I didn't tell you that part. My main idea was to fix the set of vanishing cabinets. Remember how Flint got stuck in them last year? He told me sometimes he could hear things happening at Hogwarts and some things happening in Borgin and Burkes. I figured out that if I fixed them, they could be used to transport from point A to point B. I was half working on it as a way to get my mother out of the manor, but I couldn't solve the poison problem. I bet they are continuing my work!"
Harry hummed in agreement. It was a rather brilliant plan. "What would the point be, if it's not being used to get your mother?"
Draco looked at Harry. "I bought the other one from Borgin and Burkes. It's at the manor right now. Harry, if they fix it, they could get into Hogwarts!" Harry gasped.
"We can't let that happen!" Harry said. "What do we do?"
"We could break it beyond repair, but that might make things worse. What will they do if they can't fix it, or if we steal it?"
Harry took a deep breath. "It's Valentine's Day, and they're obviously done for now, so why don't we relax for now, and talk about it later."
Draco stared at him. "Who are you, and what have you done with my boyfriend?" Harry laughed and took Draco's hand, leading him over to the mud bath. Harry hadn't gotten in last year, it was a strange experience.
The mud was squishy and got into every crevice he had. He wasn't sure he enjoyed it, he definitely preferred the jacuzzi . They held hands and were close together as they relaxed back into the gunk, barely talking.
Draco was the king on Valentine's. He decided when each new stage came. He helped Harry out of the tub and their muddy footprints lead a trail over to the shower.
Draco kissed Harry hard as he pulled him in under the spray. Harry moaned as he pushed Draco up against the wall. Draco hummed low in his throat as they slowly separated. Draco soaped up a loofa, staring into Harry's eyes.
He washed Harry slowly, making sure he got every speck of mud or dirty off of Harry. He got down on his knees to do Harry's legs, lifting each one to do the bottoms of Harry's feet. Harry had never felt so clean. When Draco finally deemed him clean enough, he took the loofa and repeated the actions on Draco, holding onto his arms when he did them, and supporting his back for the rest of it.
After the shower, Draco decided he wanted to do the mani-pedi and massage. They did their ritual of rubbing each other down with the fluffy towels, then wrapped them around themselves to cover up. "Do you want me to do yours?" Draco asked as he stood from the chair, nails newly cleaned. Harry took a look at his terrible cuticles, unsure. "You could probably use it. Let me, please?" Harry wasn't sure why he would even want to, but powerless to deny him. It was better than expected. Draco was gentle with him, and his nails were even shorter by the end of it, but they undeniably looked better.
"Ready for your massage?" Harry asked as he led Draco over to the table. Draco nodded, looking excited. He laid down, sitting up on his elbows, as Harry prepared the rocks and oils. He massaged every square centimeter of muscle he could find, and when he was done, Draco appeared half-asleep.
Harry picked him up and carried him over to the bed, setting him down gently. Harry hugged him close to his chest, kissing the top of his head as Draco settled into him. "Can we take a nap?" Draco mumbled, already sounding half way to dreamland.
Harry wasn't tired but couldn't think of anything he would rather be doing than holding Draco close as he dreamed. "Sounds good to me." Harry knew Draco was still having trouble sleeping, but Draco always seemed to sleep fine when they were together.
"You are so good to me." Draco mumbled, and hugged a pillow. Harry smiled. He settled in next to Draco, afraid of waking him or he would have pulled them closer. His eyes drifted closed as he listened to Draco's gentle breathing.