His adrenaline finally settled during the flight, leaving a vacuum of complete exhaustion, and he slept like the dead for most of the journey. When the airship touched down in Kalm, it was dusk, the sky a burnt amber hue. He had no idea yet how he would explain his absence to Elmyra. She either thought he was in Corel with Barret or she knew he was missing and was worried sick. Either way, he'd need to decide if he should tell her about Cloud.
There was no way he'd leave Cloud to fight the brewing storm of Godo's troops alone, and he'd need to enlist help. Maybe from Barret.
He paused at the entrance to Elmyra's house. No, he wouldn't tell her about Cloud. It would only make her worry, and given how frail she'd become, he didn't want to cause any extra stress.
He opened the door, expecting right away to see her, but Barret and Marlene stood in the living room instead.
"Denzel?" Barret said in surprise.
Marlene's eyes lit up. "You're back!"
"What are you doing here?" Denzel asked, equally confused. "Where's Elmyra?"
Barret and Marlene exchanged a somber look.
"She's in the hospital," Marlene offered. "She's real sick. The doctors say we need to come now, but I asked Barret to wait in case you came back tonight."
She eagerly peered at the doorway behind him, and he knew she was hoping to see Cloud. He swung the door shut, answering her unspoken question.
Barret crossed his arms.
"Where you been?" he asked Denzel. "Whose clothes you wearing?"
Apparently Marlene had said nothing of his mission to Junon. Her eyes begged him not to tell, but how could he explain it? Especially when his next question would be to ask Barret for help.
"Is that blood?" Barret wrinkled his nose. "Whatchua doin' coming home like this? What happened?"
Under Barret's scrutiny, Denzel found lying impossible. Even as he hesitated, he could tell that Barret was figuring out the answer. He was not a dumb man.
Denzel tried to speak, but Barret cut him off.
"Cloud, huh? This whole thing again?" He scoffed. "Ain't I told you to stay away from him? Whose blood is that?"
The barrage of questions were overwhelming. Barret had already concluded that Cloud was bad news even before Denzel got a chance to speak, and the condemnation made Denzel feel guilty.
"It's not mine," he replied, though truthfully the shirt beneath the oversized sweatshirt was indeed covered with his. "It's not Cloud's either," he added after seeing Marlene's concern.
Barret growled. "I don't wanna hear no more. Go upstairs and clean up. We going to Edge, to the hospital to visit Elmyra."
All prior ambitions of explaining the situation in Junon and securing help for Cloud drained away. Barret was a wall of indifference. He chided Marlene for not telling him Denzel's whereabouts, and shooed the boy upstairs to shower.
But before Denzel scurried away, he remembered the gift in his pocket. The silver ring.
"He's not as bad as you think," he said to Barret in defiance. "He's a good person still."
Barret rolled his eyes. "We ain't havin' this conversation. We're going to the hospital. Go get dressed."
But a spark of disobedience stayed with Denzel. He retrieved the chain from his pocket and went close to Marlene. Her big brown eyes watched him.
"Here," he said quietly, handing it to her. "I did find him. And he wanted you to—"
Barret scooped the jewelry away. He held the ring up, examining it.
"This ain't yours. This ain't even Cloud's," he remarked darkly. "He had no right to this."
Anger drew into Denzel's chest. "It was Tifa's…" he explained through clenched teeth. "Cloud wants Marlene to have it."
"She ain't gettin' nothing from that psychopath." Barret closed his fist around it. "We wastin' time."
Marlene began crying. She'd turned on the waterworks, her secret weapon.
"He's not a psychopath!" she sobbed. "He's just lost! And Denzel was trying to bring him home!"
Barret sighed, assessing the two of them like a pair of co-conspirators. He looked down at the ring once more, frowning. Then he gave up and held it out to her, dangling the chain between his fingers.
"Fine. I guess it's harmless if you wanna hold onto it. Tifa wouldn't want you cryin' like this."
He'd always relent to her tears. Denzel said nothing, and Marlene clutched the ring over her heart, suppressing a sob. Barret watched her as well. Normally Denzel would've made fun of her for acting like such a baby, but tonight he did no such thing.
Item delivered, he went upstairs. He pulled fresh clothes from his bedroom and went into the bathroom to shower. The hot water felt very good, and he positively reeked when he peeled off Cloud's sweatshirt and his own underlying clothing. Could it really have just been a few hours ago that one of Godo's guards was sprayed across his shoes? It took him a while to scrub his hair clean. He kept thinking he could still feel bits on him even after the drain swirled clean.
At last, he was back to being Denzel, normal kid from Kalm, orphan of Midgar, instead of runaway delinquent drug-user covered in other people's blood. He had to admit he preferred the latter only because it meant he'd been with Cloud. With the hatred and resentment gone, a new obsession grew in its place. He felt Cloud was the only one who understood him and cared for him. Barret was only concerned about protecting Marlene. He didn't even ask Denzel why he'd gone to Junon or what he and Cloud had done. He didn't care. Denzel knew he'd need to find someone else to ask for help.
Back downstairs, Barret and Marlene already had their coats on and were waiting by the door. Denzel followed to Barret's rental truck, and the three of them drove to Edge. It was late by the time they arrived at the hospital, but the city was brimming with activity. During the ride over, Denzel kept trying to whisper to Marlene, but Barret turned off the radio so he could eavesdrop so Denzel stopped trying. He didn't want Barret to hear him talking about Cloud. Marlene was squirming the whole trip, wearing the silver chain like a necklace, clutching Tifa's ring. It was much too big for any of her fingers.
Despite the late hour, it took awhile to find parking near the hospital. The lot was full so Barret circled the nearby blocks until he found street parking. The beige hospital seemed extra gloomy beneath the hazy streetlamps. The city was humid tonight, but not warm.
Hospitals have a strange timeless quality, immune to the societal constructs of when to sleep and when to wake. Outside the entrance, there were workers arriving for their shifts, bright-eyed and caffeinated, emergency sirens bringing in new patients, exhausted nurses taking a break and speaking on their phones to loved ones they never see.
Outside near the main doors, Cid was smoking a cigarette. He waved to Barret as they came over.
"Hey, man, how she doin'?" Barret asked.
Cid inhaled and nodded a greeting to the kids.
"Not good," he said to Barret. "Shera's up there with her now, but… she's barely there. Don't think anyone's sleeping tonight."
"I woulda been here sooner, but…" Barret trailed off, exchanging eye contact with Denzel. "But there was bad traffic. Delayed us more than I thought. Anyways, we here now."
Cid blew a stream of smoke upwards. Then he took another drag before stomping the butt onto the pavement. Denzel didn't know much about Cid, but he had the gruff face of someone you did not want to mess with and a broad muscular chest beneath the dark blue jacket. It was hard to believe he was really just a mechanic. Perhaps Cid would help Cloud. They'd been friends at some point.
Cid walked with them into the hospital. The layout of the lobby was exactly like the abandoned one in Junon, and it temporarily stunned Denzel at the entryway. A flash of masked men appeared in his head, and the fear of pursuit made him sweat.
"You okay?" Cid asked him, and the sudden attention caught him off guard.
He nodded and eased the memories out of his mind. This hospital was nothing like the one in Junon. But it did make him think of Cloud even more.
Barret and Marlene were walking together ahead of them. It was clear Barret had been here recently and already knew the way to Elmyra's room. Cid hung back, keeping pace with Denzel.
"I know it's tough, kid, to see someone you love in such pain," Cid said, and it took Denzel a second to realize he meant Elmyra and not Cloud. "But it's good you showed up tonight. She'll be real fuckin' happy to see you."
Denzel nodded again, not sure what to say. He wasn't thinking of Elmyra at all. Enough people and noise were now between him and Barret that he felt compelled to broach the subject with Cid.
"You… were friends with Cloud, right?" he began cautiously.
Cid shrugged.
"He's kinda a fuck-up, but he always meant well," Cid answered. "Why?"
"If he were in trouble, would you help him?"
"Cloud can take care of himself. I mean, you've seen him fight. The guy's practically invincible. A fuckin' ShinRa super-soldier incarnate. Don't think he'd need my help."
But there was something else in Cid's tone. A dismissive quality hiding something deeper.
"But if he did need your help," Denzel pressed, "would you help him out?"
Cid grit his teeth. He narrowed his eyes at Denzel.
"How much you know about Cloud nowadays? He ain't exactly the same guy we once knew."
There it was. The veiled attempt at suggesting something vile had become of Cloud. The avoidance meant Cid no longer trusted Cloud either, same as Barret.
"I mean, not after Tifa," Cid added like an afterthought.
Then he said no more. They'd arrived at the elevators and proceeded to cram in with Barret, Marlene and a few doctors and nurses. Tinny music accompanied their ascent and awkward silence. Cid stayed with Denzel as they exited onto the eighteenth floor.
"Why are you asking me about Cloud?" Cid asked, digging into Denzel's intent.
Barret heard this and shot Denzel a glare, but they'd arrived at Elmyra's room, which saved him from further interrogation. Except Shera sat in the dimly lit room crying, her head in her hands. Through the white curtain that separated the two beds in the room, he could make out Elmyra's form lying beneath the white sheets, but there was something wrong.
Shera saw them and rushed into Cid's arms, weeping into his shoulder. He held onto her tight.
Medical equipment was beeping an alarm. A nurse came in, pushing aside Denzel and Barret. Marlene squeaked in dismay. After silencing the equipment, the nurse called for a doctor on the intercom and calmly faced the family.
"I am very sorry for your loss," the young man said.
"Oh... no," Cid said to himself, cradling Shera as she sobbed.
Denzel peeked over at Elmyra. Her eyes were closed, her skin an ashen grey. Everything about her was motionless. Her mouth hung open slightly.
It hit him hard in the gut. He fell back against the wall. Marlene began crying loud and uncontrollable.
Elmyra was dead. Denzel could not believe it.
Shera spoke up. "She just passed. Just moments ago. I held her hand… I held it and then…"
Cid comforted her. Barret comforted Marlene, big tears rolling down his cheeks. The nurse gave Denzel a sorrowful look. A doctor entered, clipboard in hand, and checked some diagnostics. She jotted a dozen things down, and then put one hand on Denzel's shoulder.
"It was painless for her," the doctor said. "Please spend as much time as you need. Just press that intercom when you are done."
It was all business, the death in the room. Nothing warm or consoling. Just the sterile facts. Press this button when the corpse can be taken away.
If only they'd arrived ten minutes sooner. Guilt pressed into his feet. It was his fault they were late. There were a thousand micro-moments he could've changed to get them to the hospital faster, if only he'd known she was this close to the end. He stared at her lifeless face, bone-thin and already looking more like a husk than a human being.
Everyone else gathered around her, hugging and mourning, but he couldn't go near. He stumbled out into the hallway and leaned against the yellow-painted concrete wall. Nurses wheeled equipment past, patients walked slow carting their IV hook-ups like scaffolding, doctors walked fast with heads buried in files.
He felt numb. The events of the last twenty-four hours had siphoned his energy into nothing. He had nothing more to give. He could not feel her loss.
After some time, Barret stepped into the hall beside him, closing the door quietly to Elmyra's room. He leaned against the wall with Denzel, arms crossed. Maybe he just didn't want Denzel to be alone.
"I want to be with Cloud," Denzel said in a low voice. He hadn't meant to say it aloud, but it came out anyway.
Barret let out a long sigh.
"He needs our help," Denzel mumbled, though it felt so far away: Junon, Cloud, Godo and Yuffie.
"Marlene needs your help," Barret stressed, voice soft, "I need your help. Can't you see what just happened here?"
Denzel didn't know what to say.
"Cloud can take care of himself," Barret continued, now almost a whisper as if Cloud could not be spoken about in public. "He's always taken care of himself. Your little sister needs you now. Not runnin' off to Junon, not feedin' her stories about Cloud comin' home. We both know that ain't never happening, so just let it be and let her move on."
Barret had never used the words 'little sister' to describe Marlene's relationship to Denzel before. It had always been 'friends' or something to denote blood separation. Denzel was always apart from Barret and Marlene's family. Today he'd been brought in, and it made his heart hurt.
"C'mon, don't be selfish," Barret ribbed, elbowing Denzel playfully, trying to lighten the mood. "We all want Cloud back in some way, but sometimes just gotta face the music."
He was right. Denzel lowered his head.
It was true that whatever trouble Cloud had gotten into was because Denzel had been there. If he'd never gone to Junon, Cloud wouldn't have had to walk him to the airship station, been poisoned in that bar, been taken to the ruined hospital and bound and beaten up. He'd never have been shot in the street, nearly bled to death. Yes, every step that Cloud had taken to protect Denzel had put only himself in more harm's way. Denzel felt the weight of that failure.
"C'mon," Barret said. "I'm gonna get a coffee. We got a long night ahead, and I could use the walk. Wanna come?"
It was friendly and welcoming, the only small comfort he'd received since arriving in Kalm. Elmyra was gone, and Cloud was strong enough to manage things on his own. All Denzel had was his family here: Marlene and Barret. Maybe that was enough.
He agreed, and the pair walked with sorrow evidenced in their expressions to the hot beverage vending machines at the other end of the floor. A paper cup filled with steaming too-sweet coffee, and the numbness dissipated. Denzel could not stop his heart from aching.
Of all the people that he'd lost—his parents in Midgar, his friends in Edge, Tifa, Cloud, Elmyra—of everyone who'd come and gone through his life, he'd always missed Cloud the most.
He'd just need to deal with it. At least for now. Everything was changing, and what was that Cloud had once said about change? When opponents are shifting, best to stay put and observe. A new opportunity could arise, but only if you don't get lost in the need for action. He'd been referring to battle, back when he and Denzel trained together in Edge long ago, but it felt relevant now. Everyone was shifting, his whole world upended.
He'd stay put. This was where he was needed most. He could miss Cloud all he wanted, but Marlene had to be his focus for now. Everything would keep changing, and maybe if he kept quiet enough, he'd find what he was looking for in the chaos.