Jax watched Lily climb off his bike once they got back to TM after the meet with Galindo. She hadn't said anything to him. He had wanted to ask what she had talked to Galindo about when he was out of the room, but she had just told him to go back to the garage. Now she looked like she had a million things on her mind. She set the helmet on the seat and started for the clubhouse.

"Leela," Jax called after her. She stopped and looked over her shoulder at him. "Is everything good?"

She forced a smile. "Yeah, I'm just tired." She wasn't lying. She was exhausted. Every part of her wanted to sleep for a year, but her mind couldn't stop replaying the moment she agreed to Miguel's offer.

She was able to make it through the clubhouse without anyone noticing her. She didn't want to get questioned by everyone. She needed to think. She needed something to help her think clearly. She went to the bar for a beer, but instead found a bottle of jack on the counter. She took the whole bottle and headed for the roof away from everyone.

Lily sat underneath the stars. She took a swig from the bottle as she watched the lot below. Nobody knew how much trouble she could be in if shit went bad and she ended up owing her life to Galindo. Her life as a Death Dealer could be over.

She took a large swig from the bottle again. "How could I be so stupid?" she mumbled to herself. There was a reason the Death Dealers had a rule about working with family.

"If you can finish that whole bottle and still be upright." She looked over and saw Opie walking over to her. He sat down next to her. "I'm gonna be impressed."

She offered him the bottle. "I don't want to be upright after this."

He took it from her. "I thought Jax said that things went as planned during the meet?" He took a sip.

She laughed. "You could say that."

"Oh, I know that sarcastic laugh anywhere." He handed the bottle back to her. "What's going on?"

She took a drink again. "I fucked up. I let history get the better of me, and I made it personal." She shook her head in frustration.

"What happened?"

Lily snorted. "I can't tell you shit. You would end up getting yourself killed because you're all noble and shit."

Opie sighed. He knew how well she could her mouth shut, but that wasn't going to stop him from asking her about something else she's been keeping to herself. "You ever gonna be noble and shit and tell Jax about what Clay has done?"

"After we finish this with the Horsemen, I will." She looked back up at the stars. She could see them all clearly. "One demon at a time."

"What if something happens to you during this war?" he asked, drawing her attention back to him. "Jax will let him stay in the club. He will let that bastard get away with everything."

"If something does happen to me, let's just say I'm not the only person who knows what he has done." She brought the bottle back to her lips. When she brought the bottle down, she saw that it was already half empty.

"Tell me everything you know," Opie begged. "He needs to pay."

"He will," she promised. She took another shot from the bottle and stood up. She handed him the bottle of jack. She started to head down into the clubhouse.

She felt like she was letting everyone down. Someone was gonna get the short end of the stick, and she had a feeling it was gonna be her.

Lily slipped downstairs. She thought she had gone unnoticed once again, but two dark eyes watched her go back to the dorms.

Happy followed her back into his dorm. She hadn't realized he was following her yet. It was only when the door clicked behind her that she turned around to see him. He leaned against the door to his room. He made sure it was locked. He was gonna make sure they weren't gonna be disturbed tonight.

"Hap," she smiled. She sounded relieved. She couldn't take getting questioned by someone else.

"Haven't seen you since you got back."

"I needed time to think," she explained.

"And drink," he added for her. He could smell the whiskey from across the room. "Everything go okay?"

She shrugged. "As well as expected."

He could see that she was beating herself up over something. It must have had something to do with the meet. However, with the way she was acting, he could tell that she did not want to talk about it.

He went over to her and pushed her up against the wall. "Can I help you forget it?"

"Please," she smirked.

She woke up the next morning feeling more refreshed than ever. She couldn't remember the last time she had slept that well. She stretched and rolled over to face Happy. She cuddled up next to him.

She couldn't believe that they were finally...together? Together wasn't the right word. Neither one of them were steady relationship material. She figured that Kozik's words of "bumping uglies" seemed more fitting. Whatever was going on between them, it was something more because here she was cuddling against his naked body.

He never cuddled with anyone after sex. He would send the girls packing as soon as they were finished. So it was something unique between them considering she had fallen asleep on his chest.

Whatever it was, she wasn't going to question it. This was probably as peaceful as her life was going to get for a while. She was thankful that Happy hadn't demanded answers from her about the deal she had made with Galindo. She was already beating herself up. She didn't need him to guilt trip her as well.

She traced his tattoos on his chest with her finger. She kept going back to the words that went around his neck. "I live. I die. I kill. For my family." That was how she had lived for most of her life or at least wanted to.

"Why are you watching me sleep?" Happy grumbled. His eyes stayed closed.

She smiled. "I'm not watching you sleep. Just enjoying the calm before the storm."

He opened his eyes to get a better look at her. The sheet was pushed down to her waist exposing her bare back. As if they had a mind of their own, his fingers started tracing her scars one her back.

"I thought about getting a tattoo to cover them up," she whispered.

"Don't," he said quickly. How she had gotten them was terrible, but secretly it was one of his favorite things about her. It showed that she had survived an event that would've destroyed most people.

"It wouldn't look right. The scars are too thick and they're too many of them."

"They make you look like a badass."

"I'm already a badass," she smiled up at him. "So is it just me or is this a little strange? You, me, cuddling together hours after having sex."

He looked away from her. "A little," he grumbled.

"I kind of like it."

His chest shook and as he chuckled. "That's because you finally got laid."

She smacked his chest. "Don't be a dick."

"But you like it."

She rolled her eyes. She reached across and grabbed a joint off the side table. She lit it and took a drag. She passed it to Happy.

"After we're finished with this, are you gonna stick around Charming?" he asked. He didn't want to be clingy. He had just gotten so use to having her around the last few weeks that it would just be strange if she never set foot in Charming again after everything that has happened.

She took the joint back from him. She rolled it between her fingers as she thought over her answer. "I'm not sure. I know I'm gonna have to do some jobs once this is finished. I thought about buying a house here, but I guess it all depends on how the club takes the news about Clay."

He nodded thoughtfully as she took a drag and then passed it back to him.

"We'll see what happens," she shrugged. She stood up, the sheet dropping to the floor. "I'm gonna shower."

He took a long drag from the joint as he watched her bend over to pick up her clothes. "Have you told any of them how you got those scars?" he asked.

She stopped. "No," she said shaking her head. "Juice is the only one who has seen them. All of SAMCRO doesn't need to know how I got them."

"It might make it a little easier for them to understand why you didn't come around anymore," he offered.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure it would make it easier. 'I hated myself so much after I was raped and left for dead that i didn't want to be around anyone. So instead I decided to be a mercenary because that was the only time I felt anything. Sorry.' "

It was Happy's turn to roll his eyes. "Just saying they might be a little more understanding."

She muttered under her breath and went into the bathroom. Happy was gone when she came out after her shower. Once she put herself together, she ventured out into the clubhouse. The common room was packed. There was a mandatory lockdown now. So if you had so much talked to a patched member, you brought to the clubhouse.

"Glad you could finally join us, sweetheart," Gemma said as she leaned against the doorway of the kitchen.

Lily bit her tongue. She was not in the mood for Gemma's passive aggressiveness. "Is there coffee somewhere?"

"Just made a fresh pot," Gemma said as she watched Lily carefully.

"You're a lifesaver," Lily mumbled. She could feel Gemma hoovering behind her as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

"All the guys are outside. They wanted me to tell you once you got up."

Lily took a drink from her cup and savored the heavenly liquid. "Thanks for the coffee, Gemma." She went to step past Gemma but she was blocked

"Now with Tara gone, Jax needs you more than ever. He needs you by his side," she said getting inches away from Lily's face.

"Why don't you stand by his side? Oh, right. He already has enough mommy problems," Lily said, standing tall. "Jax is more than capable of living without a woman by his side."

She forced her way past Gemma. She didn't want to deal with Gemma and her shit any more.

Lily went out to one of the picnic tables in the lot and sat down. She surveyed the parking lot as she fished her cigarettes and lighter out of her pocket. Most of the guys were in the garage. Scarlett was talking with Juice on the swing set. It almost didn't seem like there was a impending war.

She enjoyed her coffee and cigarette as best she could. She almost couldn't remember the last time she hadn't rushed drinking her coffee. So much had happened since coming to Charming. She'd barely had time to breathe.

"You're looking like a ray of sunshine," Kozik said as he slid in to sit next her.

"I need a fucking vacation," she said. She narrowed her eyes at him when she realized that she hadn't seen him since he had given her dad's journals to her. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Tacoma has been watching the warehouse and Redwoody while everyone else was trying to get you back from the Horsemen."

Her face scrunched up. "You didn't want to make sure I was alright?"

He bumped her shoulder with his own. "You always make it out okay."

"I didn't think I was going to."

He put his arm around her. "I figured you and Happy needed time to connect," he said grinning. "He looked awfully happy this morning when he came out of your room."

She shoved him away trying not to smile. In turn, Kozik let out a hearty laugh. "I knew you two were gonna happen sooner or later."

"Yeah, yeah," she said rolling her eyes. "Everyone was right about Happy and I."

"The question is why are you so grumpy after finally getting laid?"

"Too many reasons," she grumbled.

"Does one of them happen to be about the deal you made with Galindo?"

"How do you know about that?"

He shrugged. "I know you, and I know a cartel wouldn't just help us without anything in return." He watched her stare into her coffee cup. "How bad is it?"

She looked around to make sure no one would overhear her. "For everyone of Galindo's men that dies, I owe him a favor."

"Shit," Kozik mumbled. Making a deal like that could ruin her life.

"Yeah," she said in agreement before bringing her coffee to her lips. "Coming to Charming has been one giant pile of shit."

"If you hadn't come, a lot of people probably would've died already," he said seriously.

"True," she shrugged. "Instead I've made a deal with a devil and gonna stir up a whole bunch of history with the club."

"That shit has been kept a secret for too long," he said knowing she was talking about everything she knew about Clay. "Things need to be finished."

She watched Jax across the lot. He was overseeing the guys checking the weapons. He deserved to know what happened to his dad even if it was gonna be hard to swallow. Maybe Happy was right about telling the club what happened to her.

"Happy wants me to tell them how I became who I am," she said suddenly. "He says that it will help them understand how I changed."

He looked her over carefully. "I remember how long it took for you to show any resemblance of yourself after that happened. You did what you had to to survive. You don't have to explain that to to anyone."

She nodded as she thought what he said over. "Thanks, Koz. I knew there was a reason you were my favorite."

Kozik flashed his winning smile. "Because of my sparkling personality, right?"

She laughed. "Something like that." She leaned her head on his shoulder. "I love you, Herman."

He draped his arm around her shoulder. "God, I hate it when you call me that. It makes me feel like an old man."

"Maybe because you are," she teased.

Tig walked by with a black bag slung over shoulder. "You just gonna chit chat all day while we work?" he asked looking at Kozik.

"Why you gotta be like this, man?" Kozik said

"Because someone has to remember what kind of asshole you are."

"Alright, boys," Lily said, looking between the two. "Take it easy."

"Of course you would be on his side," Tig muttered as he walked away.

"Fucking asshole," Kozik said under his breath.

Lily rolled her eyes and stood up. "You two are ridiculous." She went to walk away, but he grabbed her hand.

"We'll make it through this," he said confidently.

She forced a smile. "I know we will," she said trying to make herself believe those words. He dropped her hand letting her go on her way.

She went to the garage to help with anything she could. The next couple of days were gonna be long.

A/N: Happy New Year Everyone! This is a little bit of a filler, but it has some fluff.