This has to be a dream or a nightmare

by yuricrazywolf

"Lexa could hear people telling her to move out of the way but she ignored them as the golden wolf turned its head up looking straight at her. Lexa bit her lip stopping herself from gasping as she stared into pale ice blue eyes, the golden wolf's snarls stopped immediately as it stared right back at her." What will happen next? You'll have to join this adventure to find out ;)

8. Chapter 8

Hello pups! I am so sorry that the chapter is late, this silly wolf got herself sick the previous weak and was stuck in bed for most of the time -_- it was not fun one bit, would have rather been writing then having fever.

As always THANK YOU to everyone who reads, comments, and leaves kudos! I offer a nose kiss and fluffy hug to show my appreciation to all that love my story!

Please enjoy your new treat and be aware of the warnings I put before certain parts, soo no lashing out at this wolf pretty please.

Oh! Guess what? I had a beta for this chapter! YAY lol thank MightyM0use, you are such a darling for lending out a hand to help edit the spelling and grammar.

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Chapter 8

Clarke POV

"Why do I have to do this?" Clarke grumbled laying on the floor with her head resting on her arms. Lexa was sitting on her left, while Anya sat on the right, all three of them were on the floor being at level with the pets. Jam was at the kitchen doorway standing there looking a little nervous, his tail twitching low displaying a friendly domeanour. The dog can sense what Clarke truly was, he wasn't fooled by her outer appearance he knew she was a predator and one that could easily dominate him. While Jam should have been the more courageous one, being the oldest, it was the feline that dared to creep closer to Clarke. Jelly was ahead of her brother walking slowly closer to the trio only stopping occasionally to snack on the fish kibbles Lexa had thrown to her. Jelly would purr when she ate the treat, happily smacking her lips but continued to keep a watchful eye on Clarke. She couldn't understand this feline, why it was so happy to eating dried up fish rather than a fresh one. Maybe if the feline respected Clarke she'd be nice enough to hunt down a fish for the annoying brat.

"Because I don't want our pets to be afraid of being in their own home. Play nice Clarke, you promised you would," Anya lectured her while she tossed another treat to the dog, he was getting a better treat in Clarke's opinion. Jam was being coaxed with tiny bits of cooked chicken, apparently it was his favorite and he did move closer to snatch up the food; even if he was still weary of Clarke, he wanted his treat before the kitten stole it from him again. If their roles were switched, she would lightly shove the feline away but this dog truly was a push over instead of correcting the kitten for stealing he just tried for next time.

"I am playing nice; I haven't eaten them. That's playing nice," Clarke growled out causing Jelly to tense up at the sound, the fur on the line of her back rose becoming alert. Jelly pulled her whiskers back baring her tiny fangs letting out a small warning hiss. Clarke would have growled at the feline for trying to show dominance but Lexa laid a hand on her back and scratched gently along her spin. Clarke reluctantly gave in to the attention purring softly as she leaned against Lexa's thigh, letting the kitten think it won.

"Come on, it can't be that bad. They're just house pets, not big strong alphas like you baby," Lexa kept scratching down her spin even slipping her hand beneath the shirt continuing to stroke her. The female's fingers moved in a rhythm down her skin giving a light scratch here and there making Clarke arch her back a silent command to scratch harder. Lexa giving her attention this way made it considerable harder for Clarke to be defensive, she really enjoyed when Lexa pets her.

"Oh yeah boost your girlfriend's ego, that will help," Anya chuckled, she elbowed her thigh for the spiteful remark but Anya took no offense only shooting her a play glare. Clarke huffed before turning her attention to the small animals, Anya tossed Jam another chunk of chicken which was much nearer towards them vs the kitchen. Jam moved closer seeming to gain more confidence as he was only a foot away. The dog grabbed the treat just as the fur ball turned back around probably to steal from the softy. Jam kept a cautious eye on Clarke as he chomped down his treat, his tail still moving low to prove to her he didn't want to fight.

If Clarke had her way, she'd change form to show the dog they were a little similar and maybe she'd nip his ear as playful way of saying she didn't want to dominant him. But Lexa thought that her true form would only terrify the simple mutt, Clarke chose to hold her tongue to argue that the dog being able to see what she was could be helpful. After all, wouldn't one be more afraid of an unseen threat vs having the threat right in front of them? Then again, the last time Clarke had only lifted her hand to scratch at an itch Jam turn around so fast he hit his muzzle on the door frame and Jelly had somehow jumped high enough to be on top of the bookshelves.

As hilarious as Clarke found it Lexa was not as amused, darn human refused to even give her a kiss and made her sleep on the couch. To say the least, she did not enjoy the punishment, so she wasn't allowed to move or she'd mess up the house pets progress with her. Clarke still found it ridiculous that she had to be the submissive one, what wolf willingly turns belly up for animals no larger than her own paw? She sighed continuing to enjoy how Lexa's hand still moved up and down her spine while she allowed her mind to drift away.

Xxxx

It has been four weeks since the pair of females had saved her from Nia, but the sanctuary was still looking for her. As Clarke understands Pat the owner of the place still had Nia breathing down his neck to find "her" wolf, but since the humans have no clue where she is, they couldn't exactly comply with Nia. That woman was a selfish righteous bitch, but she wasn't stupid enough to keep pushing Pat to find someone who couldn't be traced. Anya had reassured Clarke that as far as the sanctuary knew 'Wanheda' simply vanished into thin air, so even though the search continued it wasn't Pat's first priority anymore. Thanks to Lexa having worked with her and actually having showed improvement at the sanctuary while Clarke was there; her female was able to calm any concerns over the dangerous wolf. Plus, Clarke hasn't attacked anyone or been sighted since all of the drama and so her escape has mellowed. Anya had made up a back story over Clarke posing as a volunteer even creating false papers and had her signs some pages about not suing her old home. Clarke didn't really care what any of the papers meant as long as she wasn't being forced to be under Nia's care, so whatever things Anya wanted her to write on she did so.

After that mess Lexa had been concerned about proving that Clarke was an actual human being and needed some proof of citizenship; that was a hard one to deal with, since Clarke didn't understand why she need some papers to prove she was human, when in fact she wasn't one. Yet Lexa had been stressed over Clarke needing this stuff and Anya had been the one to help get some fake papers a birth certificate, passport, and a driver's license. Lexa had been very grateful to have these papers and has asked that Clarke remembers the information on each of the documents. So, if any human she didn't know asked her about when she was born or where she was from; Clarke had to tell them she was born on October the 24th and was from Polis. Anya had also tasked that Clarke have a backup story of who she was, which was harder for her to come up with. Clarke's life story wasn't a happy one, but nonetheless Anya insisted she came up with one that was close to the truth but without mentioning her true nature.

Clarke has yet to come up with one that was close to being real, she would have turned to Lexa for help but she was ashamed to tell Lexa about her past even though she was sure her human had filled in the gaps. Heaven knows Lexa now knew of Nia and Finn and what those awful people have done; Lexa didn't know the detail but Clarke didn't find it necessary to tell her. Clarke wasn't blind though she knew how much Lexa wanted to know everything about her including the past, especially about her pack. But how could Clarke turn to her mate to be and tell her how every wolf she called family was killed by humans and that she sacrificed her own life for the pups? Or Gaia forbid that Clarke would tell Lexa how she was literally responsible for getting in the way of reuniting with her friends again? Her female was so kind hearted and caring, Clarke didn't want to throw that in her face or make Lexa feel bad. Honestly Clarke felt it was best to leave that stuff buried deep inside herself and not let it ever be brought up, wouldn't it be better that way? Besides Lexa has promised Clarke that they will search for her friends so until they thoroughly searched for Octavia, Raven, and the other pups; Clarke will decide then to confess about her past despite finding her friends or not.

Minus the day that things got emotional with attacking Lincoln and later giving him a gift, Clarke hadn't been in her wolf form at all in these last four weeks. Clarke was enjoying the benefits of being in a human body, she was able to do a bunch of things like turning on the T.V and learning how to use the new human equipment. Before Lexa had to go off to work, she would turn on the T.V to some educational show so that Clarke may learn more about acting human. She has learned many new aspects about humans, like how they apparently liked to collect shiny things to put on themselves or in their dens to attract potential mates; Or how humans would punish their mates if they caught them cheating by destroying the mate's clothes or breaking the mates prized possession.

Clarke had found it rather ridiculous that a mated pair would actually be unfaithful to one another, it was barbaric! Yet it seemed to happen often amongst humans that called themselves partners or boyfriend/girlfriend and even with those that call themselves wife/husbands. Wolves didn't cheat on their mates; they are loyal and faithful to the wolf they promised their heart and soul. Clarke found that her race was far better in that sense, she has been sure to reassure Lexa that she would never be unfaithful. She has promised her heart and soul to Lexa and no one could ever replace her or outshine the wonderful female. Lexa has also promised her the same dedication to Clarke and also admitted that she wants to be her girlfriend which was another word for mate it seemed. Clarke couldn't wait for that day to come to bite into Lexa's neck marking the female as her own and for Lexa to do the same to her. Clarke would wear Lexa's bite mark with pride even if her fellow wolves wouldn't approve.

Thinking of her fellow wolf pack was probably the most frustrating thing in the world. Clarke has been lying to herself countless times that maybe wolves like her weren't around anymore, but that stemmed from what Nia had claimed so many years ago. Nia said that she has had Finn and his father Pike kill all wolves like her, yet the woman was a devious devil who could very well had lied. Niylah had been proof of Nia being wrong, it was possible that her former pack was still out there and alive despite the forest fire that had occurred, they could have gotten away. Obviously, she wanted her friends to be alive and healthy but that would also mean that she will have to be concerned of what the pups will think of Clarke breaking their number one law.

Clarke had three humans in this house that knew her kinds secret, but only Lexa knew the more detailed factors which she feared could put her at a higher risk. It honestly petrified her, Clarke was rather certain that her kind and even her friends would isolate her. In addition, there was the added stress of what the other wolves will want to do to her human friends and mate to be? Would the wolves want to kill them? Or would they ignore them and only punish Clarke? She has tried her best not to think about it which was rather easy to do since Clarke has only focused on Lexa. Clarke has been able to avoid thinking of the future thanks to her love, Lexa always helped to keep those stressful thoughts away.

Lexa and Anya still had to go to work and they usually were gone most of the day until late evening. Clarke spent her time alone in the morning doing 'chores' to occupy her time. Lexa has said she didn't have to do anything but Clarke insisted she had to do something to be useful. Clarke offered to go hunt down food for them but the humans didn't seem too keen to the idea. She couldn't figure out why though, Lincoln told her how much he enjoyed the hare so what was the issue? Clarke didn't focus on that too much since she technically couldn't go outside until she has perfected her human form. Which she has been able to do, she was able to make her tail withdrawal and her teeth, for the most part, were normal but her four fangs were still a tad longer and sharper than a human's normal fangs. Clarke has had the pleasure of being able to go outside for long walks and if no humans were around, she'd run with the strength of her wolf.

Unlike the females, Lincoln had a more flexible schedule he was gone for 4 or 6 hours at most and be home by 4 or 5 o'clock. Each time Lincoln came home he would help teach Clarke the basic things when it came to being human, he was surprisingly nice. In Clarke's experience large males were usually hostile and dominant but not Lincoln, he was as Lexa put it, a big teddy bear. The male was very specific in teaching Clarke manners, habits that were normal for humans and often expected, like one shouldn't bite someone if they were being annoying or how to use utensils when eating because apparently eating with one's hands is rude. Clarke found it silly how many little rules there were amongst human customs, sure she will follow the rules but only if they seemed logical.

Anya has been helping to teaching her as well, she helped with things that were more...personal, love lessons is what she calls their time together. The older female taught her about how to bring pleasure to a human and taught her about why her own body reacted to Lexa so much. The lessons were interesting to say the least, Anya was not a shy one in saying everything about the female body and what one can and cannot do to it. Clarke felt rather embarrassed about her little knowledge of sex but Anya has been tremendously kind about teaching her, never once trying to tease. Lexa would help to teach her too, though the female's cheeks would get so red and her heart rate would spike like a rabbit's; her female still answered any questions Clarke had, she'd just do it with a red face and tripped over her tongue repeatedly. She has yet to tell any of the humans about her ruts, which will be problematic once she lost her female virginity, when that day happens her male genetics will kick into high gear. So far, her ruts have been mild, something that she is able to control with exhaustion but now that Lexa was a part of her life it is going to change. Clarke is well aware that human bodies didn't have both functional genetics, it's not common in their culture. She wondered if Lexa would actually want to be intimate during her ruts, it worries Clarke that Lexa would not be attracted to her once her rut came around.

Xxxx

Clarke was startled out of thoughts as she felt something fluffy rub against her face. Clarke was about to growl until she heard a low purring and felt a spiky tongue on her cheek. Jelly, the fur ball, has finally approached her and was rubbing all over her face. The feline smelled of fish and wet can food yet there was a hint of pine needle scent likely catching the smell off of Anya since the thing slept with her. Clarke stayed still as the kitten licked at her ear and rubbed her body against her face making it somewhat hard to breath.

"Aww, how adorable, see it's not so bad right?" Anya teased pocking her side, Clarke lifted her head so she could breathe easily but the kitten was apparently not done. Jelly pounced up using her paws to grab either side of Clarke's face making her stay put, the feline licked her lips before tucking herself under her chin and laid on her folded arms. Jelly continued to purr as she made herself comfortable, curling into Clarke's arms being sure to be on her side so she may paw at her breast.

"No, I guess not. She smells weird though, she doesn't smell like a dog or a wolf," Clarke smiled though it felt kind of nice to have to small fluff ball like her. Jelly purred for her; Clarke would be lying if said she didn't miss hearing the sound from another wolf; though in comparison the kitten's purr was really weak compared to a full-grown wolf. Jelly moved about until she laid fully on her back exposing her belly, the sign of submission, the feline stared at Clarke waiting for her to accept the offer. Clarke had to fight her instincts to lean down and lick the kitten's belly, for her it would be a way of saying thank you for offering the weak spot but Lincoln has told her that isn't normal to do if she is in her human form. Lexa chuckled besides her, she glanced at her curiously,

"You insult her yet your smiling," Lexa joked, Clarke felt her cheeks heat up because it was entirely true. Jelly's soft purrs were kind of hard not to answer so Clarke purred back, the kitten seemed to like that as it licked her forearm repeatedly. From the side of her vision she saw Lexa look back to Jam, a look of surprise crossed her face but before Clarke could see what brought the reaction a wet sloppy tongue licked her enter cheek up to her temple,

"Oh, Gaia yuck, his breath smells horrible like he ate something from the garbage," Clarke cringed she moved back but Jam followed after kissing her again. Instead of the pair of females helping her they were laughing their ass off, Clarke grumbled then took shelter into Jelly's stomach. The kitten didn't even mind that Clarke was invading her furry belly instead the damn thing wrapped her paws around her head basically hugging her face and was purring even louder. Jam took it upon himself to nudge Clarke with his nose trying to give more kisses. Clarke is being ambushed with affection from two tamed house pets, how humiliating, but she found herself giggling with the oncoming affection.

"This is too good, I'm making this my screen saver," Lexa laughed finally stepping in to help, she gently pushed Jam away and Anya was prying Jelly's paws off of Clarke's face. Once Anya removed the feline's paws Clarke quickly sat up before she could be tackled again. The house pets didn't fly away this time, instead they happily stayed close by, Jam laying down in front of her and Jelly had pounced on his back.

"You took a picture of my torment instead of helping me?" Clarke playful growled, Lexa grinned back at her not at all intimidated by Clarke's sound. Lexa held the phone out so Clarke could see the picture, she wasn't able to see her own face since the fur ball covered most of her though to the side, she could see herself smiling. Jam was on the other side, muzzle pressed against the side of her head, his tail lifted high clearly happy. Clarke could even see Anya in the background a wide smile at her lips as she watched Clarke's struggle. She had to admit the picture did look cute.

"Don't be a drama hound, since these two trust you now we don't have to worry about them stressing out," Lexa put the phone back in her pocket before leaning over giving Clarke a quick kiss on her cheek.

"For the record, the worst thing I've done is growl at them and bite the fur ball for clawing my foot," Clarke defended, speaking of the fluffy feline she had made her to Lexa's lap though not before nudging Clarke's hand asking for affection. She granted Jelly's requests scratching the top of her head the kitten thanked her with a small lick.

"Do not remind me, I'm just happy you didn't eat her ear," Lexa shot her a glare as she reached out poking Jelly's nose the silky fur ball rubbed against it before nipping Lexa's finger. Clarke found it amusing that the kitten didn't get scolded for biting Lexa even though she done the same thing but got lectured.

"Shouldn't you two be heading out soon? It is already 2:00pm, the drive takes at least an hour," said Anya, Clarke got excited as Lexa nodded to confirm, she was the first one off the floor heading towards Lexa's room to grab her backpack that was pre packed for today. Clarke could hear the girls giggling over her excitement, it didn't take her long to find the bag since she had kept it on the desk.

"Real excited huh babe?" Lexa's smile and use of nickname made Clarke blush she was sure her cheeks were still red as she returned with the pack in hand. Anya had moved to the couch and the house pets have dispersed to other areas in the room. Lexa barely gotten off the floor Clarke watched as her mate to be stretched out her spine then bent over to touch her toes. Such an odd mate Clarke has found, though she rather liked watching when Lexa would stretch out her limbs, especially when she bends forward.

"Yes, obviously, we're going out to look for my friends. I really hope I'm able to find them," Clarke smiled waiting a little longer to watch as Lexa stood back up and reached her arms up to the ceiling exposing her belly. She licked at her lips wanting to taste up that smooth line of Lexa's old scar and use it like a guide towards her breast. Clarke heard someone clear their throat loudly, looking over she saw Anya with a knowing smirk at her lips the taunting female raised a brow questioningly. She blushed again then hurried off to grab the water bottles she could hear Anya chuckle as she went. Clarke fetched the metal bottles out of the fridge, it still fascinated her that this thing could carry water and even keep it cold. Clarke heard the front door open as she made her way back to the living room seeing Lexa adjusting the straps on her backpack.

"I hope we can find them too Clarke. We have about eight places to visit in the forest that have sightings of wolves," Lexa explained, Anya had turned the TV on watching some jibber called Nailed it where humans run about ruining their foods. She found it weird that these humans played with the food, squeezing, cutting, and even burning it up, what a waste of a meal her daddy always told her to never play with her food. Clarke held the water bottles up to Lexa who gestured to put them into the bag.

"Did your laptop tell you where to look exactly?" Clarke asked as put the water bottles inside the pack. Such a strange thing, laptop, she seen Lexa on it a bunch of time but it was still so freaky how she pressed at the buttons then pictures and words will fill the screen. Lexa explained it to her lots of times of how the internet works it's fascinating yet confusing. Lexa had even let her play with it too, not that she knew how to actually use the thing but it was fun to push all the buttons.

"Roughly, but not accurate pin points, just the areas the wolves could be in," Lexa looked around for her car keys she usually hung them to this hook by the door but they weren't there. Clarke knew where the noisy metal things were, they are still on the kitchen counter, she went over to get them. Clarke grabs the keys then teasingly jingles them to make the female look back, Lexa was surprised before she playful scowled, "why do you keep moving them?"

"Because it's fun to see you looking for them. I can't believe how weak your human noses are, these things are so easy to find, the smell is pretty strong," Clarke tossed the keys, Lexa caught before they could fall on the ground, the female rolled her eyes opening the front door and heading out to start the roaring mechanical beast.

"Not everyone has a nose like yours Clarke. Speaking of which would you be so kind to sniff out another huckleberry plant and bring one home? Those berries were pretty good," Anya smiled batting her eyelashes to be cute, Clarke chuckled at her lousy attempt to seduce her. She hummed as she considered it, the older female has been kinder these days and has helped her in many different ways,

"Fine, not sure if the huckleberries are as good as the ones here but I'll find a berry plant. And this is a friend gesture! You don't make my heart race so it's not romantic," Clarke stated firmly, Anya had this habit of flirting now and again even though she constantly tells the woman that she only loves Lexa. Anya looked stunned before bursts out with laughter startling the feline to hiss at the older female.

"Oh god that was cute and that's more than fine Clarke. As beautiful as you are, you're not my type, I more into brunettes," Anya rolled her eyes at the implication that Clarke believed she wanted her as a mate. A memory struck Clarke, that made feel like being wicked.

"Then you must really like Luna, every time she comes close by, you get a little wet," Clarke shot out the door shutting it behind her quickly as Anya shouted her name for making her face turn bright red. Clarke giggled enjoying being able to fluster the older woman; she headed to Lexa's truck and hopped inside.

"I could hear her yelling from here, what did you do?" Lexa held out her hand and Clarke slid her fingers through hers then moved closer to Lexa, Clarke batted her lashes innocently then leaned forward kissing her cheek.

"Oh, nothing at all, just pointed out a simple fact," Clarke grinned as Lexa turned her head to kiss her lips quickly before she focusing on the rambling beast. She backed up the truck and started down the path towards the main road.

"She'll get you back, I hope you know that," Lexa warned her but Clarke didn't care, Anya was always playing jokes with her so she got her back just as much. Clarke was proud to call Anya a friend even when she can become annoying with all her taunting. Clarke leaned on Lexa's shoulder blade, she let out gently purrs hearing Lexa's heart skip a beat, she found it so sweet how shy the female gets when she showed some of her wolf.

"More than likely, but it's rather fun to mess with her. She'd like a sister and Lincoln feels like a brother, it's almost like having a pack, it feels nice," Clarke hummed she rubbed her cheek against Lexa's shoulder blade enjoying the sparks that went through her with the contact.

"I'm glad to hear you feel close to us, we certainly love having you around. You know, if we can't find your friends, I hope you know that you are welcome to stay with us. I know we are simple humans but me, Anya, and Lincoln plus all of our families would be happy to have you in our lives. We could be your pack," Lexa's voice held some hesitation as though she was afraid to admit to Clarke about something. The trucks speed picked up as Lexa speed up on the road, the long black river ran on for miles. Clarke let her eye's drift close, the rumbling metal beast kept managing to lure her to sleep. She turned her head to kiss Lexa's shoulder blade as her thanks for Lexa's offer. Clarke hadn't thought that far head of what will happen if they found her friends, she wasn't one to try to hold on to hope.

"I know you guys have accepted me in your lives, trust me I understand that. It makes me very happy to be a part of your lives, I'm not sure what I'd want to do in the future, yes, I want to find my pack but I don't even know if I want to stay with them. If I stay with them it would mean losing you and if I stay with you, I lose them," Clarke opened her eyes feeling Lexa move her arm so she could wrap it around Clarke's waist pulling her closer to her side. The female had this way to sense when Clarke needed comfort, it had her curious how much closer they would be when their souls tied into one.

"You could have both of us baby, who's to say that you have to choose only one pack? No one can tell you what to do Clarke, you are a wolf with free will and you never have let anyone try to make choices for you," Lexa's lips press against her forehead, Clarke smiled softly her human and wolf mind knew that she could never part from Lexa. Maybe it was best that way, perhaps it be best to let her friends go and that she just be happy with what she already has. It wasn't as though Clarke was not happy, in fact she was so immensely happy with her life right now that finding her friends could ruin the life style she has made with Lexa. As much as she loved her fellow wolves, Clarke will not let anyone try to take her away from her mate to be. Gaia has paved the lines for her and Lexa to meet, to part from her female would be to defy the Goddess.

"You're right Lexa, I can't leave you, I never could do that. You are my everything and I love you far too much to ever leave you behind," Clarke leaned up kissing Lexa's cheek then nuzzled her neck before cuddling up to her. Lexa's heart skipped a few beats as Clarke wrapped her arms around the female's waist.

"I wouldn't let you leave me behind either, I'd tie myself to you. I love you just as much, it would kill me if we were ever separated," Lexa chuckled, she kissed the top of her head Clarke purred away she really enjoyed when Lexa said those special three words, "the more time I spend with you, the deeper I fall in love. I'd even want to marry you maybe even adopt babies with you," Lexa's voice rises at the end like it was meant to be a question. Clarke smiled right away squeezing Lexa a bit as she nipped the top of her shoulder, the female jolted a bit but did not try to move back.

"Marriage is only until death parts us, it's better to bind our souls, we'd be together until the end of time itself," Clarke kissed the spot she bit a reminder that her bite was playful and not a way of trying to harm her. She bit her bottom lip deciding to take a leap of faith she added, "If you want pups...well I may or may not know how give you those pups," Clarke purred out her inner wolf growling softly with the anticipation at the mere idea of being able to knot the human made her inside quiver. Lexa looked away from the road then down at her a brow lifted curiously, the silent question clearly there. But Clarke felt her cheeks getting red so she looked away pressing her face into Lexa's arm. "I'll explain it some other time, not now," she mumbled feeling her face getting warmer with hearing the female's laughter.

"Alright my hodnes (love), you have me all curious though, but I can wait," Lexa had to take her arm back so she may drive properly, Clarke would have rather have the female holding her but driving was to be taken seriously. Lexa has used that word a few times with her, Clarke's has asked what it meant but her female wouldn't say. Her female really likes to tease her when it came to Lexa's other language, Clarke had tried to understand it but it too confusing.

"I will find out what that means you know. You need to teach me about the Trikru tribe, you don't say much about your culture," Clarke huffed it wasn't as though Lexa didn't tell her anything on purpose thought it seemed like Lexa's culture was a complicated one. Lexa chuckled, she nodded reaching down she squeezed Clarke's knee lightly.

"I can tell you all about my tribe another time, there's different ones for each generation. I'll tell you about my fourth time great grandparents tribe line tomorrow so for now you, my sweet baby, take your nap," Lexa spoke sternly not leaving any room to argue, Clarke couldn't exactly fight her in that anyhow. She was feeling sleepy and she normally took a nap or two throughout the day to keep herself from getting grumpy. Clarke tended to get a little bitty when she wasn't well rested,

"Fine, but you will tell me about each of your tribes time line tomorrow after you come home from work," Clarke slid down until she is able to rest her head on Lexa's lap, she curled up on the seat keeping her arms wrapped around Lexa as she closed her eyes. Lexa chuckled softly from above running a hand through Clarke's hair causing her to purr once more, it really felt good when Lexa pet her.

"It's promises then, now sleep my hodnes, I'll wake you once we are closer to the forest area," Lexa's fingers continued to run through her hair the lore of sleep already taking a hold of Clarke. She hummed her response as she buried her face into Lexa's covered stomach, taking advantage of Lexa's warmth while she gave into her sleep.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Clarke could barely contain her excitement as they arrived in the new forest area, Lexa had parked her truck off to the side of the road not too long ago. Now they were going on foot, they had a lot of places that they needed to visit all over the forest, Clarke hopes though that they will not have to go anywhere near her old den. She did not want to relive all of the unpleasant memories from the last time that she had been there. Clarke looked back at her mate to be, she was adjusting her backpack as they started off into a small walk towards the forest. Clarke couldn't stay still basically bouncing in place waiting for Lexa to hurry up as she had fallen behind a little because of messing with her bag.

"You're acting like a puppy Clarke, all fidgety and stuff," Lexa chuckled as her pack was finally set, she quickened her pace, Clarke grinned walking quicker as she began to sniff the air searching for any wolves. Unlike where her current home was Clarke is definitely able to smell wolves around here, though there were no familiar scents so far.

"I can't help it; I'm kind of hoping I'll find my friends. They could be around here, obviously they won't be anywhere near our old den," She didn't want to admit it out loud yet, but she was slightly hoping she would not find her former pack, Clarke just fears too much what they may do to her and her mate to be. Yes, she would be a lone wolf, but at least it would be her choose to be an isolated wolf and Clarke wouldn't have to put her friends and mate to be at risk. Another sniff at the forest surrounding them had Clarke putting those thoughts aside and she allowed herself to get lost with all the new and familiar scents. All sorts of scents tickled at Clarke's nose, the deep oaky smell of the bark from the trees, freshly rained on dirt, plants that were bitter to sweet, and the many animals inside. It was making her blood pump wildly, the wolf inside of her is howling and trying to get free her skin prickled as the fur poked at her from inside.

She hasn't been in her wolf form for so long it was a little maddening, yet it had been necessary. Clarke wanted to give into her urge, to feel the earth beneath her paws, to feel the soft surface caress the pad of her paws instead of the hard-cold surfaces that she been forced to be used to when she was caged. The sanctuary's environment was nothing compared to the actual thing, this forest felt real not like the fake one human have sculpted. Such as how the forest ground, it is meant to be uneven filled with rocks and other things to knock into one's paws, not smooth and flat like the sanctuaries.

"Well we have quite a few places to visit to see if they are here, but odds are they have to be in here somewhere," Lexa's voice sounded distant, confused Clarke looked for her and noticed that she been walking faster than the human, Lexa was way behind. Clarke sighed walking back quickly, her excitement was getting the best of her, why were humans so slow? "Are you ready to look for your friends?" Lexa purposed, Clarke nodded, for now she will look for them because it would be nice to confirm that they were alive and well, even when she didn't plan to approach them. It would hurt for a little while not ever joining a wolf pack, but Clarke found that it was best this way, she'd be able to keep her love and put the past behind her. She leaned in to steal a quick kiss before stepping back sniffing at the air making sure no humans were close by. Clarke couldn't find any so she began to remove her clothes, she didn't even notice Lexa's cheeks going bright red. "Wha-t are you doing Clarke?"

"I'm changing forms, this body too slow, it will be so much faster in my true form and you can ride on my back while we search for my friends," Clarke felt such a relief as the last garment fell off of her hips, clotheing wasn't something she was used to yet. They felt restricted and stiff; Clarke didn't understand why humans wanted to wear them. When she was home alone, she'd take off her clothes walking around bare felt so much nicer. Of course, she had to be carefully to remember to put clothes back on for when the humans came back home. The last time Clarke didn't put much thought into dressing before they came home Lexa had walked in seeing her completely naked, for some odd reason she had passed out and blood leaked out from her nose. Clarke had freaked out thinking that she killed her mate to be, she had laid her on the couch and was forced to wait for her to wake up. Her female woke up a short while later with a bit of a fever and she was all giggly asking Clarke to make sure she was dressed before they got home. She didn't understand why exactly but Clarke obeyed, the humans had bizarre feelings for the nude body.

"I'm too heavy to be riding you, Clarke you're a wolf, not a horse, even though you are practically the size of one," Lexa distracted herself with picking up the clothes she had dropped on the floor. The funny female was folding them up before she put them in her back pack. Clarke was able to smell Lexa's mound growing wet, as much as she wanted to play with the female they really did need to move along. Clarke scoffed it was an absurd idea that she couldn't handle Lexa weight, the human weighted like doll.

"Stop thinking about it so logical Lexa. Try to keep in mind that I able to do just about anything," Clarke told her before she closed her eyes to focus, picturing her true from, her beautiful coat, her strength, and her bones began to crack. Clarke could hear Lexa gasp but she wasn't able to comfort her, she seemed to be worried she was hurting herself. She only offered a nod when Lexa asked if she was alright before the pace of her bones breaking down speed up and she fell forward on her hands and knees. Clarke was happy that it wasn't painful like before it stung but only briefly as her joints shrunk and locked into her natural body. She titled her head back letting out a small howl as the final bone molded and snapped in her spine. She shudders feeling a tingle pass through to smooth the after pain, Clarke opened her eyes and checked her form. Everything was good, Clarke did a small circle to double check and let out a happy bark wagging her tail.

"That's the first time I've seen you do that, have to admit it's really scary," Lexa spoke up her voice sounding out of it, Clarke looked at her titling her head curiously. The female's features had gone pale, Lexa's eyes were wide as she stared, her poor mate to be actually got scared. Clarke wanted to bite herself, she acted without thinking she could have at least warned Lexa to look away instead of paralyzing the human. She moved up to her pushing her muzzle into her hand,

"I'm sorry, that must have freaked you out, it doesn't hurt though, well not anymore," she reassured after she linked their minds, Clarke nuzzled Lexa's hand before she moved up and rubbed her snout against Lexa's cheek,

"So that loud breaking noise is normal, good to know," Lexa sighed letting out a deep sigh the human wrapped her arms around Clarke's neck holding her close. Clarke felt the female take a deep breath before she sighed again, she wasn't able to stop her tail from wagging. Lexa was remembering her scent! That was beyond thrilling to know Lexa must like her scent, Clarke inhaled Lexa's scent in return being sure to rub her muzzle against Lexa's scent gland. She wondered if Lexa knew that their scent was combining that soon enough, they will smell like one another to the point they wouldn't be able to told apart. Though Lexa may not be able to smell how similar their scents were.

"Come on, let's go before we lose any more time," Clarke gently pulled back then laid down on the floor she looked to Lexa waiting for her to get on. Lexa looked nervous the silly human really believed she was going to hurt her, Clarke let out a soft purr hoping to convince her move closer. "It's alright, I promise you won't hurt me," Lexa gulped nodding as she slowly moved over, she grabbed two handfuls of Clarke's fur then tugged on the locks until she swung a leg over. Lexa eased herself down sitting just below Clarke's shoulder blades, her female kept a tight hold of her coat,

"So, you've done this before? Or carried something heavy?" Lexa asked still sounding on edge her breath hitches as Clarke pushed up on to her paws. She had been right, Lexa weighed like nothing, the only way she could tell she was on her back was by the way the female is gripping onto her fur.

"Nope, you're the first human to ever ride me," Clarke set off in a brisk jog testing if she could run at full force, it felt like she could. Lexa had fallen forward and now was clinging onto her back, the female's legs squeezed on either side of her ribs. It reminded Clarke of one of those weird black and gray animals with a white face, a possum if she remembered the name correctly.

"Please don't use that phrase 'ride me', there's a double meaning to it that I really don't want to explain right now," Lexa muttered her voice muffled as the female had her face pressed between Clarke's shoulder blades. Clarke shrugged not really hearing the double meaning if it was actually the correct wording. She was feeling more confident as they moved deeper into the woods and her heart rate was picking up as her excitement grew.

"Where are we going first?" Clarke asked as she sniffed the air needing to slow down to a walk as Lexa had been struggling to sit up. Clarke could hear the female getting on her phone poking at the screen looking for the location. While Lexa looked for the location, she took the chance to admire her surroundings, occasionally she dug her claws into the dirt yelping happily. Her wolf was pushing her to move faster and it was becoming increasingly harder to ignore the desire.

"Towards the south near a waterfall, says here there's about 10 of them always being sighted there," Lexa swayed a little on top of her maybe to keep balance, Clarke slowed down a bit more the urge to run was overwhelming.

"Alright, hold on tight, probably should lower down like before. Trust me Lexa, I won't let you fall. If you feel like you need a break just say so or tug on my fur twice," Clarke couldn't wait any more she wanted to run, her heart was pumping, her legs bounced, she had so much pent up energy that needed to be let out. Lexa barely put her phone away and laid across Clarke's spine before she quickened her pace.

Clarke willingly turned to her wolf giving control of her body so that she may run to her hearts content. Having Lexa with her seemed to give Clarke a bigger energy boost like something she hasn't experienced in long while. Clarke's paws hit the ground hard using her claws to dig in to the dirt and push herself faster. She was practically flying past the trees in no time, weaving and leaping over boulders, her blood coursing faster than her paws moved. Clarke felt like a crow, a bird that flew through the open skies without a single care in the world, no obstacles in the way, as the winged creature owned the miles of space above, Clarke owns the forest. The feeling of running was incredible, the smells that invaded her nose were both new and familiar, and she truly was feeling free.

Xxxxx

Lexa POV

Lexa was terrified of falling off of Clarke, as the golden wolf beneath her shot forward like a built from a gun. She had to really tangle her fingers into the wolf's fur to make sure she wouldn't lose her grip, she hoped she wasn't hurting her. But the way Clarke kept running lost in the moment as they sped through the trees, jumping over fallen trunks, and avoiding areas filled with water, Lexa doubted she felt even an ounce of pain. It was like the golden wolf was in her own world as she ran on, Lexa decided to let her enjoy this time even though she was completely afraid of falling off, she distracted herself by taking in her surroundings.

The forest was fascinating, so colorful and full of life, as Clarke charged through the woods Lexa is able to see the many animals that lived here. The pray animals were scattering in every direction not taking any chance of the wolf that stormed by their homes. Gaining more confidence Lexa pushed up a little so she could look all around her. Lexa couldn't get enough of how untouched the forest is, it was too often that forest like theses would have some sort of mankind effect. But merely glancing around there was not a touch of mankind messing up what was natural, nothing was missing or out of place, well maybe herself Lexa thought jokingly.

"Your home is beautiful Clarke!" Lexa shouted not sure if the wolf hears her since she ran so fast the wind had tossed her hair back and clear off of her face. Lexa thought she felt Clarke tense a little but she had only slowed down.

"Thank you, we are close to that wolf pack. I may have to drop you off here, I don't want to put you in danger," Clarke slowed down to a stop then lowered down so Lexa could slide off,

"Ok, I'll wait here for you then," Lexa looked around nervously being alone in the middle of the woods wasn't exactly on her bucket list. She felt Clarke's cold nose touch her cheek she reached up stroking the wolf's fur.

"I'll be quick, I'll see if they're like me or mindless and be right back. Try not to wonder too far," Clarke nuzzled into her neck before she moved back and took off, as she went Lexa felt the link break while Clarke ran farther away. Lexa watched her leave trying her best not to get too nervous as the golden wolf soon vanished into the thickest part of the forest.

"You've done this before, been alone in the forest with no one else like when you were fearing wild animals from hunter's traps," Lexa talked to herself as she decided to walk around checking everything out. She took out her phone then began to take pictures of what she found interesting. Lexa paused a moment after unlocking her screen, she still had the same background picture that Anya sent her a long time ago. Clarke in her wolf form cleaning off her muzzle and her eyes were a little wide as she looked up at the camera, she looked so adorable. Lexa craved for another picture with the two of them, she would love to do one of those cheesy couple pictures, even though Clarke didn't own a phone.

Lexa switched to her camera lines pondering if it be alright to ask Clarke to take a picture with her. She took the time to remember the rest of the locations of were the wolves have been sighted. Riding that enormous wolf was scary enough with only holding on with two hands, doing it one handed is not something she'd want to try again. As Lexa finished remembering the locations, she switched to taking a few more pictures to occupy her time though shortly after she heard the thumping of Clarke's (or at least hoping) paws coming close. Lexa went to the closet tree to hide behind first, then peeked out to make sure it was her. Sure, enough it was Clarke, the golden wolf was looking around, Lexa felt her forehead head tingle,

"Lexa?" The wolf sniffed at the ground then began following the path Lexa had walked earlier. Lexa had to put a hand over her mouth to stop from laughing at how cute she looked, the position reminded her of Copper from Fox and the Hound when the small puppy was searching for Tod. Clarke literally kept her nose to the dirt as she moved left and right even doing a small circle from where Lexa couldn't make up her mind on an angle for the camera; just as Clarke came close to the tree that was, she hiding behind Lexa hoped out,

"Boo!" Lexa shouted successfully spooking the golden wolf to jump back and bare her fangs. Lexa made no attempt at stifling her laughter having to hold onto her stomach as she laughed harder when the wolf growled,

"That wasn't funny, what if I had decided to attack?" Clarke growled softly letting out a snort, the wolf looked away clawing at the dirt. The wolf turned her head clearly not liking being scared though Clarke couldn't fool Lexa, her tail was moving side to side. Once Lexa controlled herself, she moved closer to the wolf and lightly tapped her nose, needing to stand on her tip toes as Clarke angled away from Lexa's hand,

"You won't hurt me, besides shouldn't you been able to know it was me by smell?" Lexa teased; she wasn't sure how she managed to do it but Clarke glared at her then flicked her tail in an annoyed manner. An idea must of came to her because she suddenly smiled and her tail wagged low looking suspicious. Lexa was going to ask what she was thinking but then Clarke moved back and began to change form letting out a small howl.

"I know one sure way to find you," Clarke said once she was in her human form, Lexa quickly averted her eyes looking to the sky, she felt her cheeks heat up when she heard Clarke moving closer.

Xxxxxx small NSFW xxxxx

"Oh? How so?" Lexa asked keeping her gaze up, Clarke kept moving closer she stepped back when she felt Clarke was invading her personal space. Of course, luck had to be against her as she tripped on something and began to fall backwards yet Clarke grabbed her before she could even tip over. Lexa's face went entirely red knowing fully well what was pressing into her, she is doing her best not to ogle the two perfectly round breasts pushing into her. Lexa tried not to shiver when her hands instinctively shot up and gripped the blonde's hips, to keep herself balanced, obviously. Clarke let out a small sound that had Lexa wanting to know what other kind of noises she would let out if she took her to bed.

"You give off the smell of an omega in heat, every time you feel my body touching yours," Clarke purred out she held Lexa closer, deliberately sneaking a hand beneath Lexa's shirt. She looked down at the women to question what she meant but hadn't been prepared for when the blonde yanked her down and kissed her fully on the lips. Lexa hesitated only for split second before pushing into the kiss the sensation of her lips squishing against Clarke's had her craving for more. Lexa was all too ready to invade Clarke's mouth with her tongue but before she could the blonde pulled away and jumped back. Lexa was going to protest that Clarke shouldn't be taunting her but the woman was already shifting back into her wolf form.

Xxxxx end of small NSFW xxxxxxx

"That so isn't fair Clarke," Lexa groaned as the golden wolf stood in front of her again tail wagging quickly and grin to wide to prove how much she liked to rile Lexa up. Clarke let out a different sound then what Lexa had grown used to, this one sound like a growl and purr mixed together. She didn't understand why she abruptly felt something inside her chest that urged her to move closer. Lexa listened to the silent command chucking the feeling up to that little voice that everyone tends to have.

"Then don't go spooking me," Clarke barked which Lexa had learned was her way of laughing, Lexa stuck out her tongue as a pity form of argument. She did however grab Clarke by the fur on her cheeks pulling her down so could kiss her nose.

"Fine I won't scare the big bad alpha," Lexa joked she moved back to give Clarke enough room to lower down. As the golden wolf lowered down, she leaned forward and pressed her nose against Lexa's stomach. She hadn't even released that it had been pushed up, Clarke did the weirdest thing she licked below her bellybutton before lowering her head to the ground. "What was that for?" Lexa asked as she moved around the wolf's paws and swung a leg over Clarke's back.

"Nothing, wanted to do it, the pack here are mindless. Thankfully none of them were a part of my former pack," as soon as Lexa had settled on Clarke's back the wolf got to her paws and Lexa held onto the fur tightly,

"Well maybe the next pack could be your friends? The next sighting of wolves is close to the base of the mountains near the west side. Though considering how you left me hanging I could be lying," Lexa may have been a little bitter for not being able to kiss the woman longer. She still found it so unfair for the teasing blonde to kiss her like that and to use her naked body to fluster her only to stop mid-way and get nothing. Clarke had to be amused because her tail was wagging as she began to trot forward.

"Aw don't be such a grouch Lexa, maybe I'll make it up to you later. Depends on how you treat me," Lexa could practically picture that infuriating sexy smile of hers,

"You better, since your promising more kisses, it's actually towards the east," Lexa grumbled as she held on to Clarke's fur again, the golden wolf barked a laugh as she quickened her pace into a run.

Xxxxxxx

Short Clarke POV

Clarke felt kind guilty for having to drop Lexa off a few miles away from the next pack she'd go see. It didn't feel right to be leaving her mate to be out in the open, her wolf was trying to convince her to find a cave and leave Lexa there. But the female wouldn't like that Clarke was sure, who'd want to be left alone in a maybe abandoned cave? Clarke sighed as she hurried along to check out the other wolves, the first pack had been a disappointment but it was only the first one. She sniffed the air locating the pack easily they were off of a hill, their den was in lower cave at the bottom off to the side of the mountains.

She eased forward being sure to peak through the bushes so that her scent couldn't be picked up on. As she poked her muzzle through the plants and looked down at the pack, she saw only 4 wolves. Yet judging by scent there was more wolves but they possibly couldn't be there, maybe they had work like her humans did. The wolves were laying around simply relaxing, one wolf was further away occasionally looking about before checking on the other three. Clarke took a sniff scenting three omegas and a beta, that's was unusual where are the alphas? There had to one or two because Clarke could smell one of the omegas was pregnant and they wore a mated mark. Looking closer she was able to see that these wolves were like her, each wolf had colored eyes, her tail wagged before she could control it, which was a big mistake. The beta immediately jumped up and snarled, it had alerted the omegas to look to them and get to their own paws, the beta searched intensely scanning the area. Clarke felt her forehead sting, a small pain nipped at the front of her mind, it has been a while since a wolf has linked with her but it has never been a bother like this before.

"Who are you?! How dare you trespass into our den!" The beta snarled out angrily two of the omegas had ran into the cave but one stayed out looking around curiously. The beta is a female, a very pissed off one Clarke wasn't sure why the wolf was so mad she hadn't done anything. The link the beta created was staring to hurt her head, Clarke got sick of it and broke the link the beta created and replaced it with her own.

"I'm not even in your den! What the hell is with you creating such a shitty link?" Clarke snarled back, she was surprised to see the beta flinch and let out a whimper, the beta shook her head roughly. The omega looked to their friend their eyes were wide with shock as the beta dropped to her belly. Clarke didn't know why the beta wasn't answering or why she was willingly submitting though her concentration was broken when she heard bones cracking. She looked over seeing that the omega had shifted to into his human form, he was a bit of a chubby male but still handsome in his own way. Clarke guessed him to be older as he appeared to be much calmer then his friend.

"Please stop alpha, Tina meant no harm, it is her job to protect us, please stop hurting her," the omega whined he looked around searching for where Clarke is but the bushes made it difficult for the wolf to pin point her location. Clarke wasn't touching the beta, she had no clue what the omega was talking about, did he mean the mind link? She sighed shifting the link a little until the beta was able to get back on her paws, Tina now looked in her direction.

"We don't want any trouble alpha, we are a simple and small pack but we will fight you if need be," Tina tried to sound threatening but the tone of her voice gave away the fear she felt for Clarke. Clarke was having some troubles understanding why the wolves where being so protective and thought she wanted to fight. The beta had moved hesitantly forward until she stood in front of the omega,

"Why do you think I want to fight you? I'm only here to search for my friends," Clarke decided there was no point in hiding anymore, she moved out of the bushes and made her way down the slope. Once the wolves saw her, they both started at her completely shocked, no doubt it was because of her coat. Animals don't usually like her fur she understood why, plus these wolves had the typical colors a wolf should have. Clarke kept her distance standing at the outer edge of their den to be respectful. From the new position, she couldn't see the other omegas, they must have gone further into the cave to avoid any possibility of danger.

"Your friends?" The omega spoke hesitantly, he titled his head looking at her strangely, Clarke looked to the wolf surprised that he could hear her maybe the beta had pulled him into their conversation. Tina stood up taller puffing up her chest trying to look threatening, but the beta was small, Clarke had to lower her head down to meet her eyes.

"You think I will fall for that!? All alphas want to do is dominate and take advantage of the weaker wolves! We don't allow alphas here! You should know that! The briyon pakstokas (wise wolves) gave us their permission to decline any alphas from coming close to us," Tina snapped her jaws growling deeply as she ran forward and snapped her fangs at the air in front of Clarke's muzzle. Clarke was getting irritated with the beta and she definitely didn't appreciate being insulted. Yes, she is an alpha, but she is a respectable one and would never be cruel to another wolf the worst she has done was attack the mindless wolves for trying to kill Lexa. In addition, she had no idea who briyon pakstokas is or why in the world this pack needed their permission for anything, for that matter what the hell did briyon pakstokas mean? Clarke raised herself higher answering the beta's challenge of show of strength; lunging forward she shoved the beta down into her side making the wolf yelp in fear.

"Enough! Fucking hell this is the first time in damn long time I've gotten the chance to talk to other wolves and you are ruining it!" Clarke snarled at the beta when she tried to break free, she adds more pressure to the wolf's side until she stopped squirming and laid still. Off to the side Clarke say that the omega had shifted back and moved forward towards them slowly,

"What are you taking about alpha? I'm sorry about Tina, she gets ahead of herself, please forgive her. She is a young one hasn't been able to control her hormones," the omega moved slowly closer then leaned up and licked under Clarke's muzzle. Clarke would have growled at the omega for being so forward but it didn't seem to be romantic it was more to calm her,

"Shut up Leo! I do have control," the beta grumbled beneath Clarke's paw but didn't move a muscle, this was taking longer than Clarke liked. She needed to get back to Lexa, she will not put her mate to be at risk because of a mouthy beta. Clarke lifted her paw than leaned down and snapped her teeth close to Tina's belly making the wolf yelp.

"I'm done talking with you, you're obviously not mature enough to have a simple conversation, go with the other omegas," Clarke growled at Tina until the beta crawled forward then dashed into the cave, she snorted at the beta then turned to the omega named Leo. The omega was staring at her muzzle, Leo must have noticed her missing back teeth,

"Alpha if I may ask, what pack are you from?" Leo tilted his head looking at her muzzle before meeting Clarke's eyes, with the omega being closer she noticed his eyes were brown but there were small particles of gold around the irises. Clarke sniffed at Leo again and released why the beta had been so annoyingly protective, the omega was in his first stages of heat. She moved further back when the omega tried to lick her again making sure show her fangs when he tried to move closer. The omega is respectful in Clarke wanting to keep her distance, so he stayed standing where he is.

"None, have any of your wolves seen a pack around my age? There should be around 8 of them and one of them has a very thick brown coat like Tina's," Clarke spoke quickly wanting to get away from the omega in heat. Her body thankfully wasn't reacting to the call but she wasn't taking any chances and she's already promised her soul to another. The omega shook his head letting out a coaxing purr to get Clarke to come closer, but she only responded with a growl.

"No alpha, we haven't seen any wolves like that around here. If I may be honest there are no other wolves likes us here. The rest of the wolves that live on these lands have lost their human self's," the omega whined a little his ears dropping, Clarke felt for the omega maybe he has lost a friend or loved one recently. Hearing that news did not bring Clarke comfort, she hoped the omega could be wrong and she will continue checking on each pack. Leo suddenly spun in a circle deliberately making his scent stronger,

"Would you like to have some fun alpha? I haven't been with such a strong beautiful wolf like yourself in a long time, I bet you'd breed me with the most outstanding pups," Leo coaxed a purr again then walked a little closer, Clarke started at the omega uneasily that he would offer his body to someone he doesn't even know. The omega tried to rub against her chest but Clarke gave a sharp bark than easily hunched down and jumped up to a boulder just above the hill.

"Thanks for being honest and the offer but I have a mate to be and if I'm impregnating anyone it's her. Good luck with your heat, hope you find some other wolf," Clarke turned away from the wolf taking a little pleasure at seeing his shook expression. She wasn't going to be rude to the omega, he had been polite maybe a little forward but that is only due to his current state. An omega in heat doesn't think any clear then an alpha in rut, she be damned for trying to use that against Leo. She was feeling proud of herself for not being lured or even remotely interested in the heated omega. Clarke jumped up again until she was the ledge, she heard the omega down below bark to get her attention, she looked down at the wolf,

"That wolf is rather lucky! I hope our paths cross again and that you may find your friends alpha," the omega wagged his tail, it was nice to see that Clarke hadn't made him angry for turning him down. Clarke wasn't about to correct Leo that Lexa wasn't a wolf, she was still her mate to be no matter what she was.

"I am the lucky one! My mate to be is most the most glorious creature to ever live, thank you Leo," Clarke broke off the link with the omega than charged back at fully speed towards Lexa. She had been disappointed that these wolves weren't her own but it was definitely nice to know that her kind were still in fact around. It set her at ease to know that Nia's clam of killing all wolves like her was nothing but bullshit, it lifted Clarke's sprites to know that horrid woman was wrong. Though apparently, she had a new worry to think of, who is briyon pakstokas? Why can she not remember hearing anything about them when she was a pup?

Clarke pushed herself harder to get to Lexa excited to tell her female how she meet wolves like her, she may leave out the omega flirting with her. Not that Clarke did anything with the omega but there was no need to alarm Lexa if she wasn't even interested in the wolf. Thinking of what the omega said had her concerned, was it possible that the other wolf packs were nothing more than mindless? Clarke sent a silent pray to Gaia hopping with all her heat that none of them had her friends among them. She did not want to join her fellow wolves again but that didn't mean that she wanted the pups she saved to be mindless.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lexa POV

The next time Clarke came back she seemed a little happier she had told her how she found wolves like her. Lexa wished she could have come along with her, she even asked if maybe she could meet them but Clarke said it wouldn't be a good idea that the wolves weren't human friendly. Lexa made no arguments, trusting Clarke's judgement even if the wolf had dismissed the idea quickly. She felt like there was something more that Clarke wasn't telling her, the golden wolf wouldn't meet her eyes when she asked what type of wolves they were. She had tried to sound casual saying they were mostly omegas, yet when Clarke had mentioned the omegas, Lexa noticed how her tail had puffed up and Lexa knew that had to mean something however, she didn't push the wolf to answer since it seemed she didn't want to.

For the next 2 hours they repeated what they had done the first time, Clarke would drop her off and go check out the wolves while Lexa busied herself with pictures and watching the wild life. Lexa was kind of disappointed that she couldn't join Clarke in her little adventure but the wolf had been instant that it was safer this way; Clarke had to remind Lexa that she isn't even supposed to know that they exist. So, Lexa needed to be content to being left behind, she figured Clarke will only have her join the visit if the wolves were her friends. But after that second wolf pack Clarke went to see, she didn't return as happy as she was before. Each time Clarke had come back Lexa could see her disappointment; she could tell that Clarke was trying to stay positive but it seemed that she wasn't getting the results she wanted. Most of the wolves that Clarke had meet up were mindless and some of those wolves had tried to invite the wolf to join them. Clarke refused their invitation and would return to get Lexa so they may continue looking.

Lexa was now sitting on top of the golden wolf again and it was obvious the wolf was losing hope. Clarke had to practically force her paws to move one step at a time, she hasn't tried running since her last trip. Lexa gently stroked the wolf's sides hoping to offer a little comfort. Clarke had stopped talking a while ago unmotivated to carry on a conversation, but she at least kept their minds linked. Lexa wasn't sure if this was a good idea anymore, she had been too hopeful that Clarke would find her friends here, and she was starting to feel stupid for ever mentioning that they should search for them. She in no way wanted her girlfriend to be miserable, this searching for the wolves was only bring Clarke down. She had tried to comfort Clarke the best that she was able to telling her how she still had a home to return to. But Lexa felt like no matter what she said Clarke wasn't actually listening, so she found it best that she kept quiet until the wolf felt like talking.

"Would you like to head home baby? We can get ice cream and choc-"

"Wait!" Clarke suddenly shouted jerking her head up she sniffing towards the north, Lexa could feel the wolf tense up beneath her, she stood taller her ears flicked forward as she listened for a sound,

"Is it more wolves?" Lexa whispered not wanting to distract her, she was not prepared for what happened next, out of nowhere Clarke suddenly began to take off in a full sprint making Lexa nearly slip off her back. She had to hold onto Clarke like she was a body pillow as the wolf stormed through the woods,

"Not wolves, a wolf only one and not just any wolf! It's Bellamy!" Clarke barked excitedly pushing her back legs harder they were flying through the forest Lexa wasn't even sure Clarke's paws were touching the ground. The trees were a blur as they passed by Lexa was more surprised that the golden wolf has managed not to collide into the trees or rocks,

"So, it's ok that I'm with you!?" Lexa shouted hoping Clarke could still hear her, she barely could hear her own voice at the speed that Clarke ran,

"Yes! You will totally be safe he is a friend; Bellamy is the older brother to one my best friends, her name is Octavia! Oh, Gaia I swear I thought he was died!" Clarke pushed herself so hard Lexa could feel her lungs expanding against the palm of her hands. Lexa wasn't sure what to say so she didn't say anything but now she was wondering why that name sounded familiar. She didn't get the chance to put much thought into as Clarke abruptly stopped making Lexa slip forward. She barely grabbed onto Clarke around her head before she fell off,

"Jesus Clarke! That would have freaking hurt," Lexa grumbled trying to shimmy back though Clarke thankful laid down and she could slip off all together. Clarke barked a laugh then nuzzled Lexa's cheek once she was on her feet.

"I'm sorry, I just got so excited I couldn't help it, are you ok?" Clarke pressed her nose sweetly against Lexa's neck offering a soft purr, Lexa couldn't help but grab her muzzle to pull her down so she may place a kiss on her forehead.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me, where do you think your friend is?" Lexa let Clarke go as she turned around glancing around to look for the new wolf, but she couldn't see any wolf just more trees and a few squirrels. Clarke nudged her side pointing with her nose over to an open field off the left.

"His over there, I didn't want to spook him by running right at him. When we were pups me and his sister would scare him so often to the point he now bites when his startled. Not that badly of course, but he will nip," Clarke smiled beginning to walk towards the open field with Lexa walking close besides her, it made Lexa so happy to see the wolf be back to her normal self instead of the way she was not too long ago. Whenever Clarke got lost in her own mind, its worried Lexa. The wolf would get this distant look on her face and her eyes would change into a pale blue, any time Clarke's eye color changed that way it set Lexa off uneasily and she would distract Clarke with a kiss or a hug to bring her back to her normal self.

"Then by all means, please take the lead. I don't want a third wolf bite, I've had my fair share already," Lexa joked knocking into Clarke's shoulder, the wolf grinned using her snout she nudges Lexa back being so much stronger though she made Lexa lose her footing for second.

"I can't wait for you to meet Bellamy! His such a dorky wolf, but he can be kind of mean but like in that big brother kind of way," Clarke suddenly trotted forward, blocking Lexa's path, she looked at the wolf a little confused by the action, "let me give him a heads up first, If he had already smelled you he might be on edge," once Lexa nodded Clarke headed out into the opened field while she stayed behind leaning against the closet tree. Lexa's feet were beginning to hurt, she hadn't warned her best shoes for this much walking on such an uneven ground. Lexa glanced around the field while the golden wolf sniffed at the dirt and turned head this way and that; from what Lexa could see, there weren't any other wolves nearby, just Clarke.

"Hey you can come out here, he must have taken off when he smelled your scent. No offense, we were taught to run once we smell humans," Clarke beckoned her forward by pawing at the ground so Lexa head on out checking the field as she made her way besides the golden wolf. The area was a huge, there were a number of wild flowers covering the grounds and a few warn out paths all across the space; towards the further end of the field was a small cave opening surrounded with trees and barely visible if one hadn't looked closely; some kind of animal must live around here because there were a few bones laying around. Lexa heard something rustle off behind her, she looked back searching for the noise and there was the wolf, two big yellowish eyes were peeking out from behind a bush,

"Hey you dork, you missed your friend, his right over here," Lexa pushed her playfully, the wolf had her back to him she had been sniffing towards the cave titling her head. Clarke turned around searching for the wolf as the yellowed eyed wolf stood up and stepped out. Bellamy, as Lexa guessed, had the typical colors of a traditional gray wolf, the color that stood out most was his under belly which was lighter gray almost white. The wolf had a large scar across the right side of his face, judging from the size it looked like one of those hunters' blades, the blade must have been thick because the scar lead all the way up to his right ear where towards the bottom a piece of his ear was missing. The wolf wasn't big as Clarke, measuring from the small distance Lexa guesses his head might meet her shoulder but she was significantly bigger than him. Bellamy sniffed at them curiously his body language showed that he felt threatened, the fur at the back his neck was standing high and he let out a growl as he crouched down and showed his fangs. Lexa didn't feel like she needed to be afraid though because the wolf was keeping his distance and he was only locking his eyes on Clarke.

Xxxxxxxxxx WARNING this is where it gets heavily emotional! Xxxxxx

"He is rather handsome huh?" Lexa whispered to Clarke trying to break whatever tension all of a sudden had formed. Clarke hadn't said anything at all, in fact she hadn't even moved one smudge, she peaked over to see what was going on with her, thinking maybe she linked with Bellamy to talk to him. Yet what Lexa saw, made her regret even speaking up in the first place; Clarke's eyes were glistening with tears, some of those droplets were running down her cheeks and falling down to the ground. With the way that Clarke let out a whimper, the tears were not out of happiness but out of a great burden of grief. The way Clarke looked at her friend it was like she was seeing death, Lexa hesitantly moved closer to the golden wolf but Bellamy let out a snarl taking a step closer.

"Don't move," is all Clarke said before the dark gray wolf lunged forward and snapped his teeth but the golden wolf shot in front of Lexa in an instant. Lexa wanted to move back expecting them to fight like Clarke has had to do before but she had told her not to move. Clarke raised her head then slowly let out a deep threatening growl, Lexa peaked around her shoulder to see what was going to happen.

She honestly expected Bellamy to snarl back, to get into a fighting stance right away and defend himself. Instead the gray wolf whimpered sat back and tilted his head up just like the wolves had done back at the sanctuary. That couldn't be a good sign, Lexa thought as Clarke stepped away from her and moved forward, she nipped the side of his neck than moved back. Bellamy lowered his head than instantly shot to his paws and took off running towards the hidden cave passing Lexa without once looking back. The golden wolf continued to stand there staring at the spot Bellamy had been at moments ago. Lexa looked back towards the cave Bellamy had ran into, he had emerged again but this time in his muzzle he had a pup and another larger wolf with him. The gray wolf and the light brown wolf with him looked at her for second, the pup in his muzzle swung a little as it tried to get free from his dad but before the pup could wiggle away, the pair of wolves turned the other way and took off disappearing inside the forest. Lexa felt the tugging on her forehead as Clarke discontented with her.

"Clarke?" Lexa whispered turning back to her then walked towards the golden wolf, slowly she laid a hand on her shoulder. Clarke stiffened at first and didn't relax until she turned her head to see who had touched her, the wolf let out a whine then turned around and pressed her face into Lexa's body. Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke as the wolf pushed into her body shaking and letting out small cries, Lexa could feel Clarke's tears wetting her own shirt. She didn't care if got drenched in Clarke's tears, she only held her tighter as the wolf let out her pain. Lexa was at a loss of what to do, she didn't know what just happened. Why was Clarke crying? Wasn't she happy to see her old friend? What could Lexa do to help her feel better?

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx short moment of the heavier emotion, but still emotional xxxxxxxxxxx

The golden wolf shook some more before she gently pulled away but did not meet Lexa's eyes. Instead Clarke dropped herself on the ground then gestured for Lexa to get back on her back. Lexa didn't have much of a choice but to listen, as Lexa swung a leg over to get on and she held on as the wolf got up and walked on, heading in different directions from where they came. Lexa stroked the sides of her neck as the golden wolf slowly walked forward barely making a sound as she moved. Lexa's inside was twisting uncomfortably the more the silence grows on and the way Clarke was behaving had her thinking that this Bellamy was no longer the same wolf that he used to be. Lexa looked around her noticing that there were far less animals then before, less noise, yet there was more grass covering the area but from the looks of it not many animals have passed through here. She could smell something weird like very pungent water, maybe a lake was close by, must be close considering how strong the smell is.

"Where we are going babe? Is there another wolf pack around here?" Lexa asked softly not wanting to upset the golden wolf further, but all the same Clarke had tensed up and it was a while before she shook her head a response. Lexa decided to keep her mouth shut, she felt like she was saying all the wrong things, maybe it was best to allow Clarke be in the silence. Lexa could soon see the large lake that she had been smelling, she wondered briefly if the smell bothered Clarke more than herself. The golden wolf paused at the water looking down into it before she stepped away and began to move around the large body of water. Lexa looked at the liquid too, she saw no life moving around, not even fishes or tadpoles, just some green mush, the water was such an ugly brown Lexa doubted any aqua life actually live inside the stuff.

"The water used to be clean, so clear you could see your own reflection and it tasted as sweet as coconuts," Clarke spoke up spooking Lexa a little since she hadn't felt the mind link coming this time.

"Used to?" Is all Lexa said while Clarke slowed down more nearing a large cave on the opposite end of the waters, it looked to be deep and hallow. Once Clarke reached the other end of the lake the wolf moved slowly closer towards the cave but stopped about 200ft away from the gloomy rock formation.

The golden wolf lowered down giving Lexa the chance to slip off, as her feet meet the ground, she could hear Clarke changing back into her human form, so to occupy her time she looked around the caves edge. The place Clarke brought them to, it felt wrong, there was plenty of green life blooming everywhere, grass and flowers covering the entire area in front of them. Lexa found it odd that none of the land was disturbed, it was spread out like an oval with the cave on the edge of it. There were logs and boulders scattered off to the sides the large objects have long since been overgrown with weeds and vines. Despite how pretty the land looked with all the plant life, there wasn't a single sign of animals living here currently. The area of this place sent a cold shiver down Lexa's spine, was it peculiar that she felt like death was lingering here?

Lexa felt Clarke tug on the back pack she still had on so she slipped it off giving Clarke the chance to put on some clothes. Once the bag zipped up again, she turned around to grab the pack and swing it onto her back. Lexa didn't look at Clarke until she was fully dressed, once the blonde slipped on the shirt, she glanced at her to see how she was doing. If it had been possible, she looked even sadder than before. Clarke wouldn't meet her eyes, she was avoiding Lexa's gaze on purpose, the blonde kept staring at the land in front of them, that distant look was taking over Clarke's eyes,

Xxxxxxxxxxx WARNING! It gets very emotional here and pretty much angst xxxxxxx

"That wolf we saw earlier, used to be Bellamy," Clarke's voice cracked with emotion Lexa moved towards her wanting to comfort her but the blonde snapped her gaze towards her and she bared her teeth. Lexa stepped back keeping her distance, allowing Clarke to do what need to or say what she wanted to, Lexa needed to be careful to not set Clarke off when she was so unstable at this moment. "He lost his human mentality, his gone. When a wolf's eyes turn yellow like his were, it means they have gone mindless, that wolf might as well be a stranger," Clarke whispered, tears spilled down her face as she looked at Lexa, the blonde's enter body spoke of the pain she was feeling; her shoulders stiff like she was trying to keep herself from falling down.

"But he wasn't a stranger..." Lexa said being careful not to seem threatening, she made sure to appear like she was relaxed hoping to help in some way for Clarke to stay calm and that she may express the pain she was going through. Clarke may be in her human form, but her body was like a wolf on edge ready to fight or flight as though the wolf in Clarke needed an excuse to shred something apart.

"No...no he wasn't," Clarke's voice broke again as she sniffled, it pained Lexa that Clarke wouldn't allow her to come closer to be able to comfort her; she wanted to hold her tightly and tell her everything will be alright even if it was a lie. "Bellamy was an omega, he has always wanted to prove that he can be strong as any alpha around him, he would start fights with any wolf that tried to bully his sister. He treated me and Raven like we were his sisters too, he was the older omega who looked after all the pups when the adults were busy," Clarke sniffled letting out a forced laugh, the blonde started to walk towards the edge of the land stopping on right at the line, the woman turned back waiting for Lexa to walk up besides her and then Clarke held her arms up forcing a smile on her lips.

"Welcome to my home Lexa!" Clarke faked a laugh as stepped over the line of the land then ran off towards the entrance of the cave and looked back at Lexa gesturing for her come join her. Lexa hesitantly followed after, she was not liking one bit how crazed Clarke's eyes were looking, the blonde's eye color was slowly turning a pale blue. Once Lexa stood beside her, Clarke did another fake smile, her lips pulled back over teeth looking like the mad hatter from Alice in Wonderland, "right where I'm standing, is where I watched my entire pack be slaughtered by humans. The last time I saw this place, it was covered in blood. You couldn't even see the grass or the dirt, and the smell of fresh death lingered in the area had made me feel like I was choking," Clarke's voice crocked from forcing herself not to cry, she then pointed to a spot towards the far right outside of the cave, Lexa looked to where she indicated. She wasn't sure where to look since all of the land was had not been disturbed minus were, they had walked across.

"That's where the men killed my mom and dad and the last words, I ever heard from my dad was 'No Clarke! Run! Get the other pups and run!'" Clarke dropped her hand to her side staring at Lexa intensely, the royal blue eyes Lexa adores were slowly being replaced by those ice pale color. Lexa's body must of sensed the danger because her heart was pounding painfully against her chest and her blood was rushing so fast it fuled her with adrenaline, like she had to run but Lexa forced herself to keep meeting Clarke's eyes even when they no longer focused on her. "And I listened to him, I looked away before they brought that gun up to his head and pulled the trigger," Clarke didn't break away her gaze as she pointed inside the cave which was pitch dark and impossible for Lexa to see. "I took off running down here to the other pups and I got them all out before the hunters could find them. I had to sacrifice myself in order for them to get away, which I don't regret, not at all," Clarke no longer faked a smile as she still stared at Lexa, but she had begun to walk closer and Lexa walked backwards without thinking,

"I saved my friends from the hell I had to go through, but I had to see my fellow wolves be killed without mercy and watched those humans take the corpses of my pack on their trucks to later be skinned of their fur!" Clarke spat out growling angrily, her teeth grew sharp as stepped forward into Lexa's space making Lexa flinch, she thought for a moment that Clarke was going to hurt her, "I was only six years old! Six! And my fucking nightmare didn't end there!" Clarke snarled backing Lexa up against the cave wall, Lexa felt her palms sweating, her body jittering, all alarm bells screaming in her head to run.

Lexa didn't know what to say, what could someone say to something as horrible as that? Lexa's birth parents died in an accident but she never actually witnessed them die! Lexa was frozen in fear; she has seen Clarke been angry before but this right now didn't come out of anger this came of years of pint up dark emotions. Clarke has carried this horrible burden at young age and only more pain came her way as she grew up. This wolf has seen death like it was an addiction, has had her own blood tore out of her body by demonic hands, and no one has been there to offer just a smudge of comfort. Clarke has a more then reasonable reason to hate humans, Lexa always understood why she did, she even hates most of mankind for their awful ways, but she had never felt how much Clarke hates the human race.

"C-larke, pl-ease try to take a deep breath," Lexa stuttered over her words then gasped as Clarke's hand sprang out slamming against the cave wall besides her head. She couldn't stop her body from shaking, Lexa was afraid that Clarke would wound her with how unstable she is currently. But Lexa knew deep down that Clarke wouldn't actually harm her, she was only upset and she had every right to be but if Clarke know what she was doing right now the woman would hate herself. Lexa felt something inside of her screaming to do something, to hug the wolf, to kiss her, to do anything to break Clarke from this cloud of dismay that was threatening to push Clarke over the line.

"What would you know you are human!? What can you possibly do to help me!? Who is to say you will not raise your hand against me, force me to bleed and suffer just because you wanted to see me be weak?! Have you ever experienced what has been done to me? Have you been tortured, humiliated, and robbed of your natural life?! Have you dreamed of the worst day of your life every fucking night for years! Do you hear the echoing screams of the wolves you failed to save pricing your ears as they cry bloody murder?!" Clarke roared out, her eyes nearly gone; it was like she couldn't see Lexa anymore, as though she was taking her frustrations out on a ghost. One of Clarke's ice blue eyes strikes with yellow; Lexa knew what that meant, it had to mean Clarke was giving up her human self and giving into her wolf. Lexa ignored her body's command to run away and pushed off the wall slamming into Clarke managing to take her by surprise and knocked them both down. Lexa wrapped her arms tightly around Clarke's waist pulling her close and ignoring the growl she let out as they tumbled out of the cave's edge and landed roughly on the ground.

"You stop this right now Clarke Griffin! This isn't you! I won't let you give up!" Lexa screamed praying to high heavens that Clarke wouldn't try to break away and run off. Clarke had stopped growling, but her hands that had landed on her hips squeezing and trying to shove Lexa off of her. But Lexa refused to let go, she held onto Clarke's waist harder with all the strength she had, it wasn't until Clarke's heart rate slowed down that she loosened her grip. Clarke had stopped trying to shove her away so Lexa slowly pushed up until she was sitting on Clarke's stomach. The blonde was looking up at her with confusion written all over her face, her eyes still pale blue and the small bit of yellow in her left eye lessened to one tiny stripe.

"You're right Clarke, I can't and haven't experienced the pain you have went through growing up. I won't understand that horror no matter how much I want to," Lexa leaned up towering over Clarke, she grabbed her wrist and pinned them above her head so that Clarke kept her full attention on her as she had tried to look away out of guilt. The blonde's confused expectation softened and her eyes slowly deepened to the blue color that Lexa admired. Lexa used one hand to hold her hands down and used her free hand to grip the blonde under her chin and push her gently back so Lexa may look into her eyes,

"But because of how much I love you, I can physically feel the anguish that you've been through. Maybe it sounds stupid to you, but that's how much I care about you and want to be in your life for as long as you will have me. I'm just a human sure, but I can be your strength and I want to listen to everything you want to say no matter how upsetting it is towards my own kind," Lexa sniffled feeling her own eyes fill with tears watching as Clarke slowly came back to her normal self. Clarke already had tears running down the side of her face and with the tears that spilled from Lexa's eyes the blondes face was getting damp. Lexa leaned down kissing under both of Clarke's eyes not caring how salty her cheeks tasted,

"I won't be able to take away your past Clarke, but I can give you a far better future and heal the wounds those demons left behind. I want to be that person in your life that's able to help you through anything but to do that you need to trust that I would NEVER hurt you like those villains did," Lexa's voice cracked from trying to keep herself from crying, she let go of Clarke's wrist so that she may use both of her hands to whip away Clarke's tears, though it was pointless since more tears followed. The blonde sniffled as she reached up, her hand trembling like Clarke was afraid she was going to scare her, the wolf very slowly cupped the side of Lexa's face barely even touching her skin. Lexa leaned into her hand turning her head to kiss Clarke's wrist repeatedly before resting the side of her face against Clarke's palms, not even caring how the blonde's claws had grown out,

"I do trust you...I'm so s-" Lexa pressed a finger to her lips stopping her from saying something unnecessary, she shook her head when the blonde flinched back as if expecting Lexa would hit her. Lexa leaned down slowly and pressed her lips against Clarke's forehead staying there until the blonde no longer trembled. Clarke looked so breakable, so heart wrenchingly terrified that its physical hurt Lexa inside that the blonde could ever think Lexa would want to hurt her in anyway, it killed her a little. Clarke was a werewolf that could easily kill Lexa if she simply wanted to, she had the strength, the power to control Lexa in a snap of her fingers, yet the woman stayed beneath Lexa quivering because Clarke had been beaten into submission.

Xxxxx end of the heavier/ angst emotion xxxxxxx

"You never have to apologize for having feelings, it's normal to react this way when you have been keeping all of this pain to yourself. I want you to promise me you won't keep it inside anymore, if you keep doing that; I'm terrified that the Clarke I know and love with all my heart well disappear. It doesn't have to be now, but someday soon you need to get everything off your chest," Lexa leaned down to press a kiss to her lips to reassure Clarke she held no grudge against her, thankfully the blonde kissed her back and even slid her arms up to her back to pull her down into a hug. Clarke pulled her in close her arms shacking as the blonde buried her face into Lexa's neck, Lexa gently ran her fingers through her hair calming the wolf as she began to cry freely. Lexa wasn't sure how much time had passed as Lexa held on to Clarke waiting patiently as the blonde continued to cry and the wolf held onto her so tightly that Lexa couldn't even budget, not like she actually wanted to go anywhere.

"I won't keep anything from you ever again. I won't let my wolf win this battle inside my head, I am in control and I will not leave my mate to be behind to suffer just because I choose to be selfish," Clarke moved back until she may look up at Lexa, her eyes were blood shot and swollen with all the crying she had done. Lexa sure she wasn't any better because she could feel the oncoming headache pushing against her skull. The blonde moved one of her arms up to extended her pinky towards Lexa like Anya and taught her, she smiled faintly hooking her pinky with the blonde's,

"I promise you Lexa, my human, my love, my heart and soul, I will not part with you even when my wolf storms inside. I will not leave you even if I find my friends, how could I ever turn my back on you? My friends will have to accept you or they will lose me as their fellow wolf and friend, because I am meant to be with you until the end of time… Lexa I want to tell you everything that has happened to me in my past, will you listen no matter how painful it might be?" Clarke whispered, her eyes shined with fresh tears and her voice spoke of the fear she felt that Lexa may hate what she has to say. Lexa smiled nodding her as she leaned down giving her a light kiss on her lips before laying her head on her chest.

"Go ahead, don't hold back, I want to know everything you want to share with me, my love," Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist keeping her head on her heart and feeling significantly safer when the blonde sheltered her with her own arms. Clarke kissed the top of her head then took a deep shaky breath and began to tell Lexa all about her past.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

By the time Clarke had told Lexa all about her past they hadn't made it home until was 10:00pm. Instead of doing the usual thing Lexa would do when she got home like cooking and hanging out with her friends, she took Clarke to her room and they stayed there. Lexa sent her friends a brief text message asking them not to come to her room unless it was an emergency, both had been understanding and left them alone. Lexa and Clarke spent the rest of the time in bed watching movies on her laptop as she held on to Clarke whenever she began to cry again.

12 years of reliving a nightmare really put Clarke down, Lexa was more the understanding why and was fine with it. Lexa was there to hold her close and whisper sweet promises as Clarke clung to her like her life depended on it. Which in a way it did, Clarke had told her how the wolf part of her mind wanted to take over completely. How the animal inside of Clarke found it better to live off of instincts than human emotions, she admitted that she almost gave into the desire when they had gone to her old home and seen the state of her former friend. Lexa told her how her eyes had changed into a different color and that even though she was calm currently, there was a little bit of yellow in her left eye. Clarke had confirmed Lexa's fear that the small bit of yellow were the beginning signs of becoming mindless, it horrified Lexa that she could lose Clarke to her own self.

Lexa asked how to stop it and Clarke said that she needed to make sure nothing like the past happens again or that she gets overly emotional to the point of losing control. So, they came up with a signal that Clarke may use whenever she felt like her wolf was acting up, Lexa would show her five fingers and Clarke was to hold up how many fingers she was coming close to losing it, holding up five being the worst and holding up one for being only uncomfortable. God hoping that it doesn't ever come to five but if it did, Clarke was to come to Lexa right away no matter what form she was in and allow herself to be comforted even if Clarke has admitted she didn't like how it made her feel weak. Lexa was to keep Clarke honest to her feelings and to help her express her emotions in a healthier way then to bottle them up. Which sounded simple enough but Clarke was a stubborn alpha wolf who kept thinking she could handle things on her own but Lexa had to be firm with her that she wasn't allowed to do that anymore.

Xxxx

"I still feel like it wouldn't be fair on you," Clarke grumbled as she was curled up to Lexa, her chin resting on Lexa's chest, the blonde was no longer crying but her eyes were still blood shot and she would sniffle here and there. Lexa lightly tapped her nose with her pointer finger to get the wolf to meet her gaze,

"It's perfectly fair because that's what girlfriends do babe. Considering how we both love each other we are suppose to share both good and bad moments, no one is suppose to carry all of the burden on their own," Lexa smiled when Clarke grinned right away for being called girlfriends, though she accepted the term Clarke would continue to call Lexa her mate to be, Lexa would use the same phrase if it wasn't such a mouth full. Lexa chuckled as Clarke nuzzled into her chest nipping at her collarbone a little before leaning back to rest her head on Lexa's chest.

"Alright, I will keep my promise to you, I won't give into my wolf. But I don't want to talk about that anymore, that's enough for today. Instead tell me, what do girlfriends do together besides making out and having sex. Not like we have had sex but I am curious to know what humans do to spend time with their mates," Clarke yawned a little, not phased at all for causal mentioning sex like it was a normal thing to say out of freaking nowhere. Lexa had to look away to keep her mind from wondering into the gutter, she had a sneaking presumption that Anya had something to do with blonde suddenly talking about sex.

"Well there's all sorts of things that couples do, they go on dates like to a restaurant eat some good food; or to the park to hang out and walk around, or maybe go to the movies usually a scary one so that you can cuddle up with a partner. Most of all couples spend their time with one another to learn everything about each other," Lexa shrugged looking down when Clarke suddenly shifted to sitting on top of her stomach, the blonde looked down at her closely trying to processes something in her head,

"How come you know so much?" Clarke looked a little suspicion, her eyes narrowed accusingly, like she knew she wasn't going to like what Lexa's answer was going to be, well that couldn't be good,

"Well, umm I have been with four other girls throughout high school, I was only with them for a little while before we broke things off, sure they were pretty bu-"

"Where they prettier than me?" Clarke growled out suddenly looming over Lexa being very predatorial, she noticed that Clarke's tail had sprouted and it was flicking side to side a clear sign of the blonde wanting to pounce. Lexa smirked knowing she was in no way in any danger, though it was best not to push the blonde's buttons as she had moved closer a hand resting on either side of Lexa's head,

"Are you kidding me? Those girls didn't even have half your beauty or intelligence, hell when I made out with th-"

"They touched you?!" Clarke snarled, her fangs had grown out and her tail flicked faster. Shit, that defiantly was the wrong thing to say Lexa thought to herself. Lexa gave her best smile as she slowly ran her hands up and down Clarke's bare thighs, silently thanking the brilliant person who created shorts.

"Yes," another deep growl followed with a snap of Clarke's fangs, but instead of it being scary it sent a pleasant warmth to tickle at Lexa's lower torso, "I was physical with those girls, but none of them compare to what you can do to my body without even coming close to touching any sensitive areas. Clarke, you make my body sing with desire and make my heart scream with affection, none of those girls compare to you, hell I never even loved them. You are the only woman slash wolf to ever actually win my love and the only one I can see myself marrying and wanting to soul bind with," Lexa grinned when she heard Clarke's sweet purring and the blonde smiled back still showing all of her fangs, "Plus the relationships never lasted long with them and two of them turned out to be real bullies," Lexa added, she kind of had to admit that she liked how possessive Clarke is, it makes the feelings they share feel so real and Lexa didn't have to worry about the blonde ever cheating on her like her first ex's had.

"Aw, my poor Lexa getting picked on by those ugly girls," Clarke purred as she leaned down pressing a kiss to Lexa's lips then followed that kiss with a few more down to her collarbone, Lexa wasn't going to bother with correcting Clarke that the girls weren't ugly, not if she wanted to dig herself out again "I would never treat you badly my beautiful human, I will treat you like the goddess you are and shower you with so much affection that you'll forget those girls ever even bullied you," Clarke kissed her way back up Lexa's neck making her body shiver and Lexa pulled the blonde to be come close, aching to kiss her girlfriend,

"Oh trust me babe they have been long forgotten including the other little assholes that would bully me too," Lexa groaned when Clarke stopped right at the corner of her lips, Lexa wanted to tangle her fingers into her hair and just make out with the blonde until she lost all feelings in her lips. Yet Clarke had pulled back to stare at her a hint of sadness crossed her face and it wasn't until Lexa got a hold of herself that she realized what had said.

"How many people of bullied you my mate to be? What did they say?" Clarke let out a whimper clearly feeling upset for Lexa, she honestly didn't want to answer that. Lexa didn't want to relive all that shit again but then again Clarke had willingly told her everything about her past and it wouldn't be fair of Lexa to not answer. And the way that Clarke looked at her waiting for some kind of answer, she knew the blonde would listen to everything she wanted to share, Lexa has never even told Anya the full details about being bullied. But who was better to hear about Lexa's own troubles then the very woman who has dealt with about every form of abuse? Clarke would understand her sufferings; Lexa's past wasn't as painful as the wolf's but Clarke would never try to use that against her; she wouldn't try to one up her that being bullied wasn't that bad as being abused. Lexa knew the blonde would want to help and care for her like she wants to do for Clarke.

"It won't be pretty," Lexa sighed tugging on the back of Clarke's thighs to encourage her to lay down besides her,

"Doesn't have to be, I want hear everything about you too Lexa, you know I won't judge you, I'd take your side no matter what," Clarke whispered gently as swung her leg over to lay next to Lexa, the blonde moved closer until she wrapped herself around Lexa like she had done the first night they shared her bed.

"I know you will baby, don't know how I could ever be lucky enough to find someone as amazing as you," Lexa turned on her side so that she may meet Clarke's gaze, the blonde shook her head reaching out she entwining their fingers together and brought the back of Lexa's hand up to her lips so that she could kiss it.

"No, we are both lucky to have found each other, now it's your turn share your past with me and if at any point you want to stop, you can. You are in no way obligated to tell me everything if you are not wanting to; just because I told you all about my past doesn't mean you have to do the same. I won't be bothered at all, I promise," Clarke smiled leaning up she kissed under Lexa's eye, she hadn't even noticed that a few tears had fallen down her check, Lexa laughed softly not out of humor but how funny it was that their roles suddenly switched.

"Ok, babe, ok," Lexa smiled at Clarke when she felt the wolf's tail had draped over Lexa's hips and pulled on her a little until she shifted closer and Clarke began to purr for her as Lexa took a deep breath deciding on her own that would share everything with Clarke because it was what the blonde deserved and Lexa wanted their relationship to be equal.

Lexa told her about how the kids weren't open to the fact that she was adopted and how they thought she was a freak for not looking like either of her parents. Though the worst of it was how the parents to those kids knew how different the Woods family were, it wasn't like her parents ever kept it a secret they were rather open about their beliefs. But because of the unique way Lexa was raised to know how to hunt, defend with or without a weapon, and how her grandparents lived in the middle of the forest it gave the kids another reason to mess with her. Those kids would call her a savage treating her like a fucking animal and would always try to hurt her, like this one time how a group of boys had tried to beat her up but Lexa got the best of them breaking a few noses and dislocating a few shoulders. That lead to Lexa trying to be expelled from the school but her mama and papa fought tooth and nail to keep her in school. The boys left her alone after they had learned what she was cable of but that certainly didn't stop the girls from messing her.

Little girls were wicked creatures, they used to call her ugly, a freak, something no one could love yet in early middle school when she developed early that those kids started to like her. Clarke had been furious that those kids every said such things to her; she made Lexa tell them their names and what they looked like. Lexa gave up the information without a fight and asked Clarke if she did anything she wasn't allowed to kill or seriously injure them. Lexa may have had to argue with the wolf that the worst she could do was punish them if they really pushed their luck, it wasn't like Clarke would ever actually see those people anyways.

Lexa admitted how she had kept fake friends and at the time she thought it would be better to keep those fake people around just for appearance. Lexa had gone as far as to reject the Trikru tribe, she had stopped following the traditions, stopped going to the festivals that were held every full moon, and had distanced herself from her own grandparents; all because she wanted to please her fake friends. But when she became aware that she was gay and those "friends" found out, they became vile, tossed her to the side, and treated her like a savage yet again. After that Lexa cut all ties with everyone, the only people Lexa kept closer were Lincoln and Anya, and she had stopped ignoring how she was part of the Trikru tribe. Her family had been overjoyed that she no longer rejected the tribe, Lexa had made up her mind that she was going to embrace her difference and if anyone had a problem with it, they could rot in hell.

Lexa was going to tell Clarke a little about the Trikru tribe but the blonde was dozing off, no doubt trying to force herself to stay awake. Lexa told the wolf to sleep and that tomorrow she would tell Clarke all about the history to the Trikru. She was looking forward to telling the blonde all sorts of things, like how they respected all animal lives, even when they hunted, they would honor the animals that they killed by giving them quick deaths and thanking Gaia for the food she provided. Or telling Clarke the many stories the Trikru tribe had either made up or have experienced, Lexa bet she would like to hear the stories on the wolves, how in the tribe they believe that the wolf was not a creature to disrespect or kill, and they were to be protected. Lexa could kind of remember the stories but honestly her papa or her uncle (Anya's dad) were way better at spinning the tale. Lexa yawned thinking of her parents, she needed to call her mama and papa to tell them that she has found the woman she was going to marry.

Lexa didn't know exactly when but Clarke had fallen asleep laying on top of Lexa and her mind was free to wonder as she willed herself to sleep as well. She was having a difficult time trying to sleep, she kept thinking about this man, Finn Collins and his father. What they were doing was completely illegal. Hunters could game caribou, whitetail deer's, and boars in legal park areas. The home Clarke lived in was legal for hunting but wolves were not allowed to be killed, in fact the area was dangerously low on wolf population. Thanks to Lexa always working with animals she has made some higher power acquaints; she knew which people could track the Collins and have them arrested for their crimes. But the problem was that the Collins were working for Queen Nia, a horrid woman who had more wealth then what was humanly possible.

There was no doubt in Lexa's mind that Finn should have gone to jail the day he broke into the sanctuary but he was more likely bailed out by Nia. That woman had power in many different ways thanks to the Collins hunting down the animals for her business. It was immensely frustrating that Nia had so many moneys that she probably could manipulate anything and so many people were easily bought. If one wanted to keep someone else shut up all they had to do was flush cash and those people became mute to the real truth. Anya had been right about Nia getting those furs illegally but how on earth could that be proven? The only one who could prove Nia's actions was the very women that slept on her chest. Lexa won't have Clarke come anywhere near either of those two people not if she could help it. She will find a way to make those people pay one way or the another and they will pay through the nose. Lexa will have to talk with Anya and see what they can do to bring the law down on both of them.

Lexa felt Clarke stir on top of her letting out a whimper, she ran her fingers through her hair until she relaxed again letting out a deep sigh. Lexa listened to Clarke purring gently occasionally rubbing her cheek against her collarbone, Lexa smiled enjoying this moment so much. Today had been very tough on both of them, physically and emotionally but Lexa was so happy that Clarke finally opened up about her past and that she had done the same. There were no more secrets between them and it made Lexa feel so much closer to Clarke. Lexa could really see herself marrying this woman and also doing the soul binding the wolf is always insisting is better. Though Lexa was getting ahead of herself, they have been together officially for a month and a half it may be too soon trying to get married. Hell, Lexa hasn't even taken Clarke out on their first date yet, which definitely needed to change,

"When you feel better Clarke, I want to take you to town. You might like it there, there's thousands of shops of all different kinds like stories for shoes, clothes, and so many restaurants you'll be able to try all kinds of foods," Lexa whispered to Clarke as she continued to purr so deep in slumber, she doubted that she'd wake. "There is so much to experience, I want you to have all the good ones and then some," Lexa yawned now feeling the weariness of the day weighing down her eye's lids. She closed her eyes snuggling up to Clarke and kissing her forehead,

"We will have a proper first date and then one day I'm going to ask you to be my wife and I'll ask you to combine our souls," Lexa smiled loving that idea extremely, as she let herself fall asleep she dreamed of all the possible dates she would take Clarke on. And Lexa's unconscious mind created a dream of her deepest desires, one with a familiar blonde in a floor length white lace dress and a golden band wrapped around her left ring finger.

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Oooh I hate ending a chapter in a similar way like the last chapter, it's really not something I aim to do, I hope you all will forgive me for that mess XD I'll be making sure to not do it again!

I know this one had a massive amount of mixed emotions! So sorry pups but it was defiantly a necessity if want our Clexa to grow closer :) but I will make it up to you in the next chapter and I'll be working very hard to get the up before I go on vacation.

Now if the next chapter is not fully edited, I will instead post a little one shot Clexa that I have been working on for fun. I know it's not this awesome story but it is a little something to help make the wait more bearable. -_-' SO I am going on vacation for two weeks and hopefully during that time I can squeeze in my editing so that I may post the next chapter once I return home.

Tell me pups, what were your favorite parts? Or what made you laugh the most? I look forward to hearing from all of you!

Love ya lots and pretty please won't you be sweet enough to leave me a treat?

-YuriWolf