stalker: the simpsons
Disclaimer: I do not own the simpsons or it's characters.
Chapter 5, What Did You Say? Season 1-3.
It seems like when I look up simpsons to see a fun picture or a quick scene it seems like everyone talks about famous and/or favorite quotes. And honestly quotes can be pretty fun, I mean I still love to play Disney trivia with my sisters. So I decided to pick a 'favorite quote' in every episode, just for fun.
1. "Um, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Nixon, Comet and... Cupid, Donna Dixon?" I don't know why but every time I hear Homer trying to name Santa's reindeer, it makes me smile.
2. "Uh-oh. Kwyjibo on the loose." I have already expressed my fondness for this word in the past chapters, but I can't help it if this is my favorite quote for this episode.
3. "Mmm. You're not as stupid as you look or sound or our best testing indicates. You've got the job. Now get to work!" Mr. Burns says this to Homer when Homer says that he will always persue safety in his free time, but would have less free time if he had the job.
4. "Just go and never tell anyone you were here!" I really like this quote because I always think 'I bet that's not the first or the last time the simpsons will hear that.'
5. "Oh, man, that guy's tough to love." Bart says this to himself about Nelson and I can't help but wonder why on earth Bart said this.
6. "I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it. There's no way they can prove anything." If you couldn't already tell, this quote was said by Bart. So there is obviously something that he did wrong, but apparently he didn't get caught.
7. "Praise the Grizzlies, son." Yeah, I know this line is during a serious scene, but it was this or "oh Homer, my brilliant beast." and honestly that's sweet, but its a little predictable in the scene it was in.
8. "Hey, hotdog! [Crash] Nice dismount, man." This is the first thing that Jimbo Jones says, and I think it's pretty clear, in my Simpson ships, that I like Jimbo.
9. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Litha, my 'ongue' is 'uck' in the 'eaters.' My 'ongue'!" Hehe, I've seen that scene a goood 5 times already and I still couldn't help but smile as I was writing it down.
10. "All right, folks. Show's over. No more to see, folks. Come on. Only sick people want to see my folks kiss." I love this quote because when your young and you see your parents kissing, most of the time you will find it gross. Unless your my sisters who find it super sweet, and stare like a creeper.
11. "My savior. You will always have a place in my heart." Bart says this line in French, but I just can't help but love it; I mean he went through hell in this episode and he truely appreciated the officer.
12. "Yes, yes, I know the procedior for armed robbery. I do work in a convenience store you know." I like this because Apu almost sounds insulted that the robber told him what to do. Now granted, later you do see that Snake is normally the one to rob the Kwik-e-mart, but still.
13. "Mr. Sampson, can I give you a bit of advice? Don't turn your back on that boy for a second." Ms. Botz says this line, and I'm watching this going 'seriously she's a criminal scared of a little boy?'
14. "[Gasp] I passed! I got a D-minus! I passed! All right! Mmmwah! I passed! I passed! I passed! I passed! I got a D-minus! I passed! I got a D-minus! I passed! I got a D-minus! I passed! I passed! I... Kissed the teacher! Bah!" And yes, I had to havr the whole thing. This might be my favorite Bart quote, because of that mini-freak out at the end. I laugh every time.
15. "Exactly. Why should you get nothin' while some guy who loses a finger hits the jackpot?" Lenny tells this to Homer, as if lising a finger isn't a big deal.
16. This is the first treehouse of horror, and being a big Halloween nut, I had problems choosing a favorite quote. I could have chosen, "I don't care what I said. This family has had its differences and we've squabbled, but we've never had knife fights before, and I blame this house." Marge says this in Bad Dream House, and I liked it because she has known Homer to choke Bart and her children to push and hit each other, so she really needs to blame the house? Another quote I could have picked was, "Take thy beak from out my heaet and take thy form from off my door." which Homer says in The Raven. I really liked this quote because people could really tell that it's a Treehouse episode, and I love the way Homer says it. But I decided to pick, "Oh, yeah. Like when you look at Friday the 13th, part one. It's pretty tame by today's standards." as my favorite quote for this episode. Why? Because when I do the character evaluations, I tend to avoid anything in these little short stories, because they are questionable. This was my favorite quote that isn't in the shorts.
17. "Homer, when a man's biggest dreams include seconds on dessert, occasional snuggling and sleeping till noon weekends, no one man can destroy them." I really love this quote, because it shows how happy and content Homer is with his life.
18. "I'm sorry, young man. You're just not ready. Pick up your cheek at the front office, and for god's sake, put some clothes on!" I think even if you haven't seen this episode, you can picture this scene between Homer and his current boss.
19. "Now, this is a picture of your enemy Todd Flanders. Everyday I want you to spend 15 minutes staring at it... and concentrating on how much you hate him... and how glorious it will be when you and Charlene annihilate him." With a first glance, this may not seem humorous, but you need to think about it. Homer, a man who fears the possibility of his son being gay, has given him permission to stare at a boy for 15 minutes every day.
20. "Son, this is a tradition. If you start building a balloon for every flash-in-the-pan cartoon character, you'd turn the parade into a farce." I like this quote for two different reasons. One, because while they are talking they don't see the Bart balloon; and two because I actually had to look up the word 'farce'. It's not everyday that Homer Simpson uses a big word and I thought it was a little nice.
21. [Bart] "Otto, I'm gonna leap over Springfield Gorge on my skateboard."
[Otto] "Huh, you know, Bart, as the only adult here, I feel I should say something."
[Bart] "What?"
[Otto] "Cool!" Now normally I try to make my quotes one-liners, but I made an exception for this because this conversation is a little hard to break apart.
22. "Keep her away from me, Marge! She's got that crazy look in her eyes again!" Homer says this about Maggie and I know that children are impressionable, but Maggie is kind of smart. With Maggie attempting to injure her father multiple times and Maggie shooting Mr. Burns in the future; it makes me wonder how dangerous Maggie could be in the future.
23. "Lionel Hutz, attorney-at-law! What's that, a broken neck? Great!" obviously this has got to show how desperate he is for customers.
24. " 'Try something new, Homer. What'll it hurt you, Homer?' I never heard of a poison pork chop!" Homer said this to himself and it's funny because... well... He's right.
25. "Maybe I'll wear my hair... Up." Teenage Marge says this to Homer. This may explain why she has her hair up all the time.
26. "Bart, you're no longer in Sunday school. Don't swear!" Hehe, Bart found a small loophole. He always tries to get his parents on board with him cussing.
27. "Boy, a good man really is hard to find." Homer says this to himself when he is looking for a husband for Selma. And it's funny because if any of his friends heard this, they may get the wrong idea.
28. "Bart, 'uncle Herb' sounds so formal. Do you think you could call me 'unky Herb'?" I find this quote funny because I know that, out of all of my 6 current uncles, none of them would ask for such a childish title.
29. "Uh, not that I'm angry, but how did you get my home number?" Doctor Hibbert asks this to Marge, and we don't hear her answer; but I think that this is more proof on Marge being 'overprotective'.
30. "Well, I was wondering if you and I, you know, might go to the same place at the same time - - Jeez, you'd think this would get easier with time!" I love this quote, because there is something about making a guy you like nervous. Something very sweet, that is.
31. "I'm a work of art! Last Supper, eat your heart out." Its funny and it shows Homer's pride and support to Marge and her hobby.
32. "Don't say anything, Marge. Let's just go to bed. I'm on the biggest roll of my life." This has got to be my favorite thing Homer ever says. He's not gambling, he's not bowling, he's not fishing and yet, as a family man, he feels like the luckiest man around.
33. "Pretending to cry [chuckling] That's right, you heard me. Pretending to cry! I can turn it on and off like a faucet. [Sobbing] Oh, I'm crying. I'm so sad." Abe Simpson said this and yes he tricked the kids, but he should have just kept quiet. After all, he could have used this again in the future.
34. "You know what I think? I think Casper's the ghost of Richie Rich." I like this quote, because of all the fan theories out there. I mean, when I was writing Lisa's evaluation for season 2, I created my own dark fan theory. Of course, since it involves Homer, I am waiting to reveal it on his evaluation of season 2.
35. "You're a credit to dementia." Lisa says this to Leon Compowski when he leaves the Simpson House. I like it because it makes me smile every time I hear it.
36. "So burn the flag if you must, but before burn a few other things. You better burn your shirt and your pants. Be sure to burn your tv and car. Oh, yes, and don't forget to burn your house because none of those things could exist without six white strips, seven red strips and a hell of a lot of stars." This is part of Nelson's speech for the essay contest. I like this because I never took Nelson for the political type and he had an effective speech.
37. "It's funny how two wrongs sometimes make a right." Lisa says this to Bart. He lied about going to karate and Lisa got her saxophone stolen by Jimbo, Dolph, and Kirney. Bart got beat up and Lisa got her saxophone back. No wonder she's happy.
38. "I thought I found him, but it was only a cat." How on earth could Willie mistake his boss for a cat?
39. "D'oh! Who'd have thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated?" We all know that Homer said this, but I think this is the first time it is mentioned.
40. "Glub, glub, glub. 'Oh, Noah, Noah, save us, save us!' 'No!' " Bart playing with a pop-up book about the Christian bible. How... Nice...
41. "Oh, Smithers, when you look at me with those puppy-dog eyes - - All right." Mr. Burns says this to Smithers in the treehouse of horror episode. I think this is a clue that Burns cares for Smithers.
42. "If you need money you should have jammed a gun in my ribs or better yet inquire about my help wanted sign." I do realize that Apu gets a lot if crime at his store, but now he Is actually recommending that people rob him? Seriously?
43. "I don't know if I should. My dad and I built our cart together. If I drove someone's it'd kill him. On the other hand, I'll do it." This quote shows how easily Bart's mind can be persuaded.
44. "Oh, look at me I'm making people happy. I'm the magical man from happyland in a gumdrop house on lollipoplane. Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic." All I can say is... 'Really, seriously?'
45. [Marge] "Look at all those worried faces, except for Lenny. He looks great."
[Lenny] "This is the worst day of my life." I like this because it is one of the reasons why I disagree with plastic surgery.
46. "If I didn't know better, I'd swear he was trying to moon us." Young Dr. Hibbery says this; and I like the quote because that means they made Bart a trouble maker before he was even born.
47. "Bart Simpson. The thought of a boy trapped in a well brought out the kindness and love of the entire community. When they find out you've been fooling them they're gonna want to cut you up with rusty razors." God damn, Springfield, you don't play around.
48. "What could be more exciting than the savage ballet of pro football?" Lisa asks Homer this. Honestly I really love to watch football and I especially love it when it's with my dad. Of course, being a bit gothic, calling football a 'savage ballet' would definitely explain why I like it so much.
49. "Mom, I think I speak for everyone in this bed when I say you have nothing to worry about. Now, let's just try and get a little shut-eye." I chose this quote because unless you see this episode, it can sound a bit mesed up
50. [Homer]"Well Marge, self-improvement has always been a passion of mine. Bring on the swear jar. Do I have to pay if I hit my hand with a hammer?"
[Marge] "Yes, Homer."
[Homer] "If I catch fire?"
[Marge] "No, Homer."
[Homer] "If I see something weird?"
[Marge] "Yes, Homer."
[Homer] "What about when we snuggle?"
[Marge] "Hmm... That's okay." This might be my favorite conversation between Homer and Marge.
51. "Oh. Well, I guess he'll be happy when he comes to." Marge... Always looking on the bright side of things.
52. "I saw some awful things in 'Nam but you really have to wonder at the mentality that would desecrate a helpless puma." Wow, Skinner, the puma means that much to you?
53. "Yes, I'm back. Kent Brockman is not the kind of man who would leave a $500,000-a year just because he won the lottery. I'm a journalist." Even when he is trying to sound humble, he acts snobbish.
54. "Marge, it takes two to lie- one to lie and one to listen." Seriously, can someone tell me if this is gibberish or if this makes sense. Bit of a thin line here.
55. "Whenever Marge puts on one of her nonviolent programs, I take a walk. I go to a bar, I pound a few then I stumble home in the mood for love." You know it's a bit odd; Selma was the one who saved Marge and Homer's marriage, and here Homer saved Selma and Bob's relationship. Or such as it was.
56. "Homer had a piece of food on his face for three days. It wasn't little either. It was a chicken wing." Otto says this to Patty since she is against Homer. I know that Bart is friends with Otto, so he probably complains about his dad frequently to Otto. So woth that in mind, these two could become good friends.
57. "Hiw could this happen? We started out like Romeo and Juliet but it ended up in tragedy." Milhouse how much do you even know about Romeo and Juliet.
58. "Yeah. You know, my life just can't get any worse... That's right. There's no way my life could possibility get any worse." This is an interesting quote because it implies that the Simpsons are merely actors on a set instead of a 'real' family.