In occasion of the upcoming conference held by All Might later that afternoon, all of the heroes who were invited had been granted an early leave for the day.
Katsuki was thankful for it, because, in all truth, he had tried to avoid Deku after what had happened at lunch time. He was not particularly overjoyed, however, when he saw the rain coming down in sheets upon leaving the agency building.
Pulling his coat closer, Katsuki scoffed at the realization he didn't have an umbrella with him. It was supposed to be a sunny day. Fucking forecasts were never right, Katsuki thought begrudgingly as lighting flashed across the sky, quickly followed by the loud rumbling of thunder. Resigned at the fact the rain wouldn't have let go any sooner, he gritted his teeth and braved himself into the rain.
Earlier in the day, after all the ruckus happened with Deku, he had received a text from Kirishima telling him to meet him at the coffee shop right behind the agency. The thought of launching his phone onto space had crossed Katsuki's mind upon receiving the text, because after the low blow Kirishima had inflicted on him, he sure did have some guts asking him to meet up. But Katsuki quickly disregarded that thought in favour of launching shitty hair across the sky, instead. That would have been so much more fulfilling.
With that in mind, he hastily sprints into a run under the pelting rain, making a turn on his left and reaching the location in two minutes. But by the time Katsuki takes shelter his coat is already drenched. The frigid air shakes his body, almost leaving it numb, and Katsuki grunts, scrambling off of his coat before entering the place. The warm air inside immediately welcomes him with a fragrant smell of coffee beans mixed with the smell of chocolate and cakes. It was a small family café with chestnut coloured furniture, a mix of comfy seating and professional ones in addition to a few tables with regular chairs and cushy couches. The cream coloured walls were adorned with vintage photos, making the place feel almost as a mini art museum. Nostrils assaulted by that inviting, sweet aroma, Katsuki is greeted by the baristas, whom smile at him with a fluent welcome speech. Nodding back politely, he quickly scans the semi crowded place until, to his own distaste, he sees Kirishima sitting on a table next to the window, but not alone. Ashido is there too, busying herself with what seemed to be a giant chocolate croissant. Katsuki was half way deciding to spin on his heels and leave before Mina takes sight of him and waves at him enthusiastically.
"Bakugou, this way." She beams at him, waving a beckoning hand in his direction.
Katsuki rolls his eyes and unwillingly makes his way to the table, displeasure written all over his face. When he reaches the table Katsuki notices that Ashido is wearing an azure low cut dress with a low neckline, accompanied with a set of matching jewellery; too fancy for a casual café.
"The fuck are you doing here, raccoon eyes?" He asks perplexed, towering over the two with a menacing aura.
Mina gives him a look of reluctance, lips turning into a pout.
"Don't be a party pooper." She says, feigning hurt. "My agency is just behind the corner, you know that. Kirishima called me because we have to celebrate."
A look of confusion etches onto Katsuki's features as he sits down in front of them and stares at Kirishima, looking for answers.
"Celebrate? What's there to fucking celebrate?" Katsuki sneers, noticing a cup of hot mocha in front of him. If there was anything to celebrate that would have been Katsuki's dead love life.
"C' mon Bakugou!" Kirishima says mirthfully. "I even ordered you coffee!"
Katsuki glances at the brownish coloured liquid, taking the cup in his own hands, warmth seeping into his body as soon as he takes the first sip. "Well, fucking thanks." He says, setting down the cup again and idly staring into it. "But there's nothing to celebrate."
And there really wasn't, his day was filled with nothing but frustration. All Deku related.
"Kirishima told me you've finally confessed to Midoriya." Mina says with glee. "You gotta tell us all the details. The juicy ones." She adds, winking in a way that Katsuki found too obnoxious. Maybe she had picked that up from shitty hair or vice versa.
"Yeah," Kirishima says with a big smile that is all teeth, pointing his thumb at himself for good measure, "and it's all thanks to me. If not, it would have taken probably other 10 years for Baku bro here to confess."
"Whaa! This is so exciting!" Mina perks up on her seat, clasping her hands together in joy. "You two are finally a thing!"
Katsuki almost chokes, eyes wide. He was split between murdering Kirishima for spilling the beans to someone else without even knowing the outcome of what had happened earlier in the cafeteria or strangling Ashido who looked way too excited about someone else's private life. The idiots were only making absurd assumptions, and Katsuki's face couldn't help but morph into a grimace, lips jutting out into a ferocious frown before he swats his hands down on the table harshly, causing his cup of mocha to topple over and spill the hot content.
Ashido promptly recovers the cup, wiping the table with a napkin before the sugary liquid tips all over her clothes.
"Oh my God!" She exclaims as she rushes to wipe the table dry. "You were just about to ruin my expensive couture dress!" She gestures wildly, panic clear in her eyes, "And I'm even supposed to wear this later at the conference!"
Katsuki gives her a side glance, his red eyes glow with fire. He didn't even know she had been invited to the conference because he had never bothered to check the guests list, and in all honesty, he couldn't care less about her attire. That, however, didn't explain why Ashido was already dressed up when the conference was 4 hours away from happening. "Fuck if I care." Katsuki says, voice loud and booming.
"Bakugou, what's wrong with you?" Kirishima intervenes, concern etched in his features, acquainted with Katsuki's antics but not willing to put up with them, "You are yelling. Not like that's something new but c'mon, chill. We are in a public place." He says, gesturing around in warning.
"Fuck you, Kirishima." Katsuki growls in a lower tone, heeding the warnings as he sits back on his chair, deciding he had drawn too much attention for the day. He crosses his arms, trying to stifle his simmering anger, head cocked on one side. "He got it all wrong." He grunts, words coming out in a slur.
"Uh?" Kishima and Ashido say in unison, looking baffled. "Who?"
Katsuki restrains another growl and favours them with the nastiest death glare he can manage. "Deku! Who else? You absolute morons! We are not... a thing." He pauses, sighing dramatically, and for some reason Katsuki feels a pinprick to his heart at the realization that he and Deku were remotely far from even being a thing. "Now the nerd knows I'm in love but with someone else." He adds, lowering his gaze in utter defeat.
"I don't understand." Kirishima looks distraught as he taps a finger on the wooden table. "Didn't you confess to him in the cafeteria?"
The movement of Kirishima's finger makes Katsuki follow it in mild annoyance. "Apparently I did it wrong." He says gruffly, "He brushed me off telling me he's gonna help me with the person I love."
"You what?" Kirishima and Ashido screech at the same time, exchanging a look of befuddlement. They can't restrain the laughter that starts bubbling at their lips after that. Much to Katsuki's annoyance, Kirishima is the first one to explode into a manic laugh, jerking back on his seat and clutching at his stomach for extra effect, so much for preaching about not attracting attention. "Pffwaahaha! That's why I told you to speak clearly to him."
"C'mon Bakugou!" Ashido chimes in, she as well, laughing with gusto, "Midoriya is the epitome of obliviousness. He is smart but when it comes to romantic matters his brain is covered with layers thicker than the china wall."
"Oh right." Kirishima says, voice laced with remembrance but still tittering. "Do you remember that time when Todoroki tried to ask him out and Midoriya flat out brushed him off because he completely thought he was asking him to go shopping?"
"Oh my god, yes!" Mina turns towards Kirishima, grinning widely, "Poor Todoroki seemed so afflicted and even had to spend money on shopping he didn't want to do."
Katsuki's heart suddenly stung. His primitive inner self is suddenly awaken, looking for release. Needles pierce straight through his chest at the mentioning of half 'n half bastard and facts regarding him and Deku he was not aware of. A cold chill run down his spine, freezing him in place for a fraction of a second before his face turns dangerously dark.
"When did this happen?" Katsuki demands, tone grave and wrecked, almost on the pit of exploding.
"Uh," Kirishima brings a hand on his chin thoughtfully, trying to reminisce when it all had happened, "I think it was sometime during our second year at U.A. He says, voice caked in doubt. "But I don't think Todoroki had ever tried to ask him out again after that one time." He adds oblivious to Katsuki's inner turmoil.
Despite Kirishima confirming it had happened ages ago, Katsuki cannot stop the burning feeling of uneasiness, the cold ice filling his mind. If things had turned out differently and Todoroki succeeded in his intent of asking Deku out, Katsuki was sure he'd have lose his goddamn mind.
"I know what you are thinking." Mina says, glaring at Bakugou with a knowing look. She watches him as his facial features scrunch into discontent, regret, anger. She had known him for a long time now and she could easily tell whatever was in his mind from the subtle clues he gave her. "But you don't need to go berserk for something that happened ages ago."
"Yeah, they were teenagers and nothing ever happened, anyway." Kirishima chips in in support, underlining Mina's previous statement.
Those words should have comforted Katsuki, calmed him down, but instead they only make his self-control collapse into the depths of hell. His heart beats erratically fast, blood pumping furiously in his veins. What if Todoroki tried to ask Deku out again? What if Deku accepted? Now as adults, they were both more mature and knew each other better, they had had their share of experience together, and to top it off, Deku considered Todoroki a nice friend and person, overall. And really, considering all that, how long would it be before Deku came to his senses and realised how much of a good choice Todoroki was, or anyone else who was not Katsuki himself, for that matter. The prickly, unpleasant thought that maybe he didn't deserve Deku cuts through Katsuki's chest sharp as a knife. He couldn't imagine what a life without Deku by his side was. What it was like to see him happy with someone rather than him. Katsuki's world suddenly shrinks, dark and cold, as realization hits him like a thunderstorm, like a gust of gelid wind freezing his bones. Fury coarses through his body, making his primal instincts alight anew, deep and heavy. He couldn't let anyone else have Deku. Never.
"Oi, snap out of it." Mina's high pitched and withering voice intrudes into Katsuki's foggy mind, bursting whatever nasty thought he had going on. Back to his senses, Katsuki meets Mina's hard and icy stare.
"I know what you're thinking." The pink haired woman says, her face banked. "That's exactly what's hindering you from taking the next step. From having a steady progression towards the right direction." Her tone is heavy, linear, and Katsuki gawks, his eyes wide, feeling as if he was stripped of his secrecy.
"You think I don't know that?" Katsuki says when he finds himself at loss for words, sinking in defeat, his skin tight with anger.
"If you know that...," Kirishima interjects, exchanging a meaningful look with Mina, "then you should stop putting yourself down and shove any hindrance coming yours and Midoriya's way aside." He says with a wistful, pensive expression.
"Did you actually tell him 'I love you' properly?" Mina says, trying to impersonate Bakugou acting lovey dovely, in attempt to lighten the mood, which, not unexpectedly, goes over too well given Katsuki's face changes into anger quick as a change of wind, almost one step away from igniting explosions on his palms and disintegrating his friends right in the spot, witnesses or not. Kirishima chuckles beside her before Katsuki growls.
"I'm fucking gonna stick those mugs up your asses." Katsuki threatens, his posture is imposing and frightening and suddenly Kirishima and Ashido falter, dropping their antics instantly.
"OK." Kirishima says, his voice takes on a serious connotation, "Why don't you try telling him again?"
Katsuki scoffs, his jaw clenches with barely contained indignation. "I wouldn't have spent 10 years of my life brooding over it if I could do it." He dangerously jams a finger at his friends, brows knitting together at the stupid question. "And I remind you that my last attempt was a goddam total failure!"
"Not a total failure per se." Kirishima reasons, scrunching up his nose. "At least now Midoriya knows you're into romance. Look at it this way, it's a good thing, and you should just follow, so the next step would be letting him know that you're into guys."
"Ah! But that's the problem!" Mina cuts in, leaning on the table, frantic. "Our dear friend Bakugou here," She says stressing on each word lazily as she wiggles an accusatory finger at him, "has no idea what romance is."
Katsuki winces, squinting his eyes in irritation; that was an offense to his ego, his pride.
"That's true." Kirishima agrees much to Katsuki's discontent, "But think about it, Bakugou. If telling your feelings to Midoriya is too difficult for you-," He bends over the table, arms stretched flat, "have you ever considered flirting with him, instead? That would be a good start."
Katsuki goes silent for a while, eyes focusing on a particular spot in between Kirishima's extended arms in the wooden table. His friends watch him as his face twists into utter embarrassment, which they think is a rare sight on him. Then his gaze slowly settles to their faces again, almost as if he was mentally dragging himself away from whatever unnamed sentiment was unsettling him. "I- I'm not good at this romance shit!" Katsuki stammers with his admission, brows furrowed into a displeased crease.
Mina blinks, disconcerted as she plops back onto her chair, arms folded on her chest. "How exactly do you want to win Midoriya over then?" She says, exasperation lacing her voice. "You should just sweep him off his feet."
"Yeah, that's it!" Kirishima says, cheerful. "That's what you should work over, Bakugou!"
"Listen here boy!" Mina says, lounging forward again, her chair creaks under her weight as she presses her hands against the table. "There are few rules you should know about courting." She decisively holds her hand up in the air and starts counting with her fingers, as if Katsuki was a first grader and wouldn't catch on if she didn't do so.
"First off. Cussing at him is a no no."
Katsuki restrains a growl from escaping his throat. That was basically like telling him to reduce the very essence of his personality.
"Second." Mina continues, voice like a rumbling thunder, "Treat him nicely."
"Third. Take him places."
"Fourth. Buy him something even if little."
"If you do this, even if Midoriya is oblivious he'll notice the little changes and he'll start to look at you differently."
"Last but not least." Mina says, sticking up her fifth finger, her pinkie, which was a kind of a pun demonstration played with her hero name Pinky, to underline the importance of that last point.
"Touch him. Do it often, as subtly as possible, and then when you dim it right go in for the kiss."
Katsuki's heart leaps in his throat, cheeks red with fire. Ashido made it sound so easy, but flirting, and especially being subtle about it, was a concept totally foreign to him. However, the thought of acting in a different way towards the nerd, of treating him as any different than a close friend has Katsuki's heart flutter with hope. Maybe his friends were right, if he looked at things from another perspective, Katsuki was sure he could nail it. He sighs, turning to look outside the window, relief oozes through him when he sees that the rain had long stopped, and so had the thunder in his heart.
"Well," Mina stands up, patting her fancy dress, catching Katsuki's attention again. "I'm gonna get going. Don't want to be late. I'll catch you later at the conference." She says as she pins Bakugou with a stare of mutual understanding.
"Oh, I forgot!" Kirishima says, sparking a grin her way. "You're supposed to go there earlier, right?"
"Yep." Mina says excitedly, beaming at Kirishima beside her. "I'm a part of the preparation speech and other stuff."
Katsuki bunches his eyebrows together, finally realizing why she was already dressed up.
"Yeah well, good luck with that." Kirishima cheers with a thumb up. "I better be going as well. I still have to choose what to wear myself. And you-," He looks at Bakugou sternly, "don't you dare coming in jeans and shirt. There's a dress code for this event, got it?"
"Knowing Bakugou he'd come in his hero costume or worse in his pyjamas." Mina interrupts, voice full of mockery.
"Yeah whatever." Katsuki snarls, deciding to not let the offensive comments get through him this time.
They collect their coats and walk out of the café together then, biding their goodbyes outside and going their different ways, but not before Mina yells at Katsuki to keep it together and get Midoriya, to which Katsuki only rolls his eyes.
Katsuki was thoughtful all the way to his apartment. He thought about the many approaches he could adopt about flirting with Deku and then hopefully sweep him off his feet like Ashido had said. But he had to go in order about that. And to do it, he had to stop looking at the past, to stop those ugly thoughts lurching in his mind that did nothing but rotten and deteriorate his relationship with Deku preventing it from turning it into something more. Katsuki carefully revised in his mind the advices given by his friends.
Don't cuss at him. Treat him nicely. Take him places. Buy him something. Touch him. Kiss him. Katsuki felt like he was going to combust then and there. One thing was kissing Deku secretly while he was asleep, but doing the real thing with a sentient and awake Deku was another. He feels the tips of his ears flush hot as he unlocks the main door of his apartment building, reaches the elevator and presses the button to the 4th floor. Things like flirting and romance were not a part of his daily life, but if he really wanted Deku to finally be his Deku, and God he wanted him so much, he really had to change his tactics.
When the elevator doors ding open, however, the last thing Katsuki expected was to find Deku in front of his apartment door.
"Well, fuck." Katsuki growled and swallowed so hard he thought he had maybe smashed his vocal chords.
"Kacchan!" Izuku beams at him, light radiates off of him as he smiles widely, and Katsuki stops dead on his tracks, his pupils dilating. "Where have you been?" Izuku says, showing off a shopping bag dangling from his outstretched hand, a black coat draped on his other arm, "I got you chilli corns. Your favourites."
Katsuki couldn't think. He was not ready to face him again after what had happened. The nape of his neck goes on fire, heart to his throat as he registers Deku in front of him. The nerd was wearing a light brown suit with an orange button down shirt complete of a dark green bow tie which accentuated Izuku's eyes colour splendidly. He looked absolutely adorable in it. Most definitely his attire for attending the conference.
"The fuck are you doing here, nerd?" Katsuki says, voice drawn in an involuntary snarl, throwing rule number one straight out the window.
Izuku's smile quickly turns into a frown, his brows knitting together as his stare narrows. "I thought we could go to the conference together," He says, worrying his bottom lip, "and also, I wanted to talk, Kacchan!"
Katsuki jeers, legs trembling with tension as he covers the distance between him and Deku in quick long strides and stops in front of the door. "Why don't I fucking give you a copy of the key?" He says, voice hoarse and raw, "You're practically here all the time. This is invasion of privacy Deku!" Katsuki cursed mentally. Rule number two had gone down the drain just as quick, but at the same time, the thought of sharing his apartment keys with Deku sent him into a cloud of happiness.
"So mean!" Izuku whispers, lips curling into a pout as Katsuki unlocks the door. "I even bought chilli vanilla ice cream!"
Katsuki watches him from the corner of his eyes, a trill of anxiety mixed with guilt jamming in his chest as he makes his way inside the apartment with Deku following suit behind him. They unceremoniously discard their coats on a chair near the door and slip their shoes off. Katsuki quickly makes a straight beeline to the kitchen. "Tea?" He asks over his shoulder, filling the kettle with fresh water and switching it on.
Izuku is still in the entry way, eyes wary and thoughtful as he follows Katsuki's ministrations. "About what happened earlier," He says then, ignoring Katsuki's question; his tone has something edgy in it, cautiousness. "I would really like it if you-"
Katsuki suddenly turns around, arms crossed and meets Izuku's eyes dead on, cutting him short. "The fuck Deku!" He says, a bolt of panic seizes through him. "Do we really need to talk about this?"
Izuku heaves a sigh, every inch of his body in alert as he sits on the couch and rests his groceries on the small dining table. "I'm your friend." He says, hands folded on his lap, refusing to leave Katsuki's hard stare. "Have you ever thought how I'd feel about you not telling me you are in love?" Izuku pauses, inhales deeply through his nose, then exhales. "I mean, you told Kirishima but not me."
Izuku's words are barely audible, above a whisper, but Katsuki hears them loud and clear.
Guilt, regret, remorse hit him like a thunderstorm in its wake, and Katsuki's features go lax with shame. It only made sense that Deku would have felt alienated by this new information regarding his life. Romance had never been in the book before, he had never mentioned it because the feelings he had, still has for Deku had always been a deterrent. Katsuki couldn't risk to let Deku know, but now that Deku had been informed about it in the less orthodox way by overhearing a conversation between him and Kirishima, Katsuki could only imagine how Deku felt.
Betrayed? Disappointed? Deceived? Katsuki could go on with the list, he knew he had fucked up, a total failure as a friend.
"Look Deku," Katsuki says rather calm, electric kettle forgotten as he pads towards the couch and sits next to him. "I'm an asshole sometimes, I get it but-"
"Kacchan, I'm not asking for an apology." Izuku breaths out, heavy and succinct. "I just think I've failed as a friend. If you chose not to tell me I'm sure you had your reasons. That's why as your friend I-"
Something deep and feral skates down Katsuki's spine. This was what he got because of his stupid lies; a wrecked and apologetic Deku was not what he wanted. How that idiot could turn things around so quickly and blame himself? "For fuck sake!" Katsuki says through clenched teeth, "This is not your fault, Deku!"
"It is, partly." Izuku says, a hot coil burning in his chest, "As your best friend I should have at least sense that there was something going on, but I didn't and-"
Katsuki snaps, self control leaving him at once. "Friends friends! Goddammit Deku! How do you think I can even tell you anything if you go on and on about that?" He says, voice laced with razor edge gravity as he shots up from the couch, "You always spout this shit about friendship and I just can't take it anymore."
Izuku's face goes blank then twists into shock with recognition, eyes wide at the feel of a sharp jab trudging at his heart. Kacchan was right, he hadn't realized it up until now but probably his stressing out about friendship all the damn time had Kacchan stay on the edge, always a step behind, probably thinking he was not up to Izuku expectations of friendship which was why Kacchan had felt unsecure and maybe a little intimidated about telling him about his love life. But hadn't they gone through something similar before? Why would Kacchan not say anything?
Gaze foggy and focused on his feet, Izuku's shoulder stiffen, mouth parted in a serious line. "I understand Kacchan!" He says, voice wrecked and hollow. "I probably put too much on your shoulders because I've always been adamant about our friendship, and I guess that's what made you feel unworthy of it. But Kacchan," He pauses briefly, his speech becomes disorganised, erratic, words spilling from his mouth fitfully. "You more than anyone should understand why I'm like this. I don't want our friendship to decline ever again that's why...," Izuku breaks off his streak of words, allowing himself to breath before he peers up and regards Kacchan who is looking at him in utter bewilderment, "I want us to tell each other everything, no secrets. There are none between friends, Kacchan!" He says with a honest, frank expression.
Katsuki sighs before flopping back in the couch, the corners of his lips twitch and his features tighten as he looks at Deku with a discontented expression that Izuku couldn't fathom for his own good.
The entire situation hurt. Deku misunderstanding him. Deku not catching up with his own feelings. Deku feeling guilty for not being a good friend. Deku being genuinely worried for him. Deku's obliviousness.
Deku. Just plain Deku.
It hurt so damn much. Katsuki had no idea how to convey his feelings or what he was supposed to do or say to him.
"It hurts." Katsuki says then, words spilling from his lips without logical thinking. He watches as Deku's large green eyes shift into utter worry, as his features tighten with panic, as his attention flicks on every movement of Katsuki's glowering face.
"Are you sick, Kacchan?" Izuku says in agitation, suddenly invading Katsuki's space, one hand resting on his forehead. "You've been weird these past two days. Are you running a fever? Where does it hurt?"
A spark of electricity runs deep through Katsuki's veins. Deku's hand is like hot coal on his skin, his breath lingers too close on his lips, and Oh God, all Katsuki ever wants is to embrace him into a tight hug and kiss him, every inch of his aching, trembling body tells him so.
Feeling a little braver, Katsuki swallows before taking Deku's hand on his own and guiding it from his forehead down to his chest, above his heart. Perhaps it was the frustration of this so called crush Katsuki had had on the nerd for 10 long years that made him act instinctively. "No, you idiot!" Katsuki says breathless, heart beating fast, "It hurts here." His red eyes shine with eerie intensity, more pupils than irises when he meets Deku's hazy and confused ones.
Unhinged by Kacchan's unusual demeanour, Izuku unconsciously moves his other hand in small circles on Kacchan's chest, breathing deep and slow with half lidded eyes.
"Kacchan!," Izuku murmurs, his voice sounds faint and imperceptible to his own ears. "Have you been training without me?" His hand keeps drawing circles, feeling the defined muscles on Kacchan's chest, definitely more chiselled than he'd remember.
"Maybe." Katsuki says in a throaty voice, intent and predatory eyes lowering onto Izuku's rosy lips.
Izuku bites his bottom lip, a tinge of anxiety hammering at the back of his skull as he wonders about the meaning of this odd, unforeseen situation. "That's cheating, Kacchan!" He drawls before he sees Kacchan branding him with those fiery red eyes of his, eyes widening when he sees him lean forward slowly and deliberate. Izuku gulps at the closeness, at Kacchan's hand scorching his, but before Kacchan can get any closer and before Izuku can come to a clear understanding of Kacchan's intentions, his phone starts beeping, warning him of an incoming message, bursting the moment in a millisecond. Taken aback, Izuku slowly falls back into his space. Cheeks incensed of a scarlet red as he fishes out his phone and checks it briefly before chugging it back into his pocket.
Katsuki blinks, irritated at the sudden interruption, face red and hot like lava as he inspects Deku for any sign of answer.
"It was Todoroki kun." Izuku says shortly after, heart drumming loudly in his chest for reasons he couldn't fathom. He finds himself unknowingly creating more distance between him and Kacchan as he moves to the far end of the couch, gaze intent on his knees, unable to meet Kacchan's.
"Half 'n half?" Katsuki bristles, feeling a sharp irritation surging in his chest, his heart squeezing at the mention of his name. His face loses its red colour and it's quickly replaced by slight anger. "The fuck did he want?" He asks, trying to hide his scowl but failing miserably. His mind travels back to what Kirishima and Ashido had told him, and all he can envision is the bastard trying to ask Deku out.
Mind wavering, eyes cast downwards, Izuku bites the inside of his cheeks as he steadies one hand above his chest, wishing for his thumping hurt to quite down. This was territory Izuku had never stepped on, a secret, foreign land he had never explored before and that made him want to know more. What was this feeling that burst through him like hot fire? Like he was a piece of hot metal ready to liquefy? This was ridiculous. Kacchan had merely touched his hand and pierced him with his stare, but so what? Izuku had touched him plenty before, it was a normal occurrence between friends, and Kacchan was his friend. He would always be. It was stupid of him to look for any other hidden meaning in the whole situation. Kacchan was wild most of the time, unpredictable, like a volcano in full eruption. It made no sense mulling over it and give it too much thought. Kacchan was probably acting weird because he was upset about the misunderstanding created between them, most probably.
"He and the others are gonna meet 30 minutes prior to the start of the conference." Izuku explains, his mind clearer as he forces his constricted lungs to work again.
"Deku." Izuku jolts when he hears Kacchan call his name in a way he had never heard before. He makes the big mistake to turn up his gaze on him, and when he does, Izuku is met again with branding fierce red eyes that make him altogether breathless.
Izuku can feel it all. The tension, the air, the change in atmosphere, the stillness in Kacchan's eyes, the scintilla of electricity between them that brings them to collide slightly, and suddenly Izuku feels as if denuded of his own soul. He swallows hard, unblinking, unable to look away from Kacchan. What was happening? What did cause such change in demeanour to that one person Izuku thought he knew best? Why right at this moment Kacchan seemed so different to him? Not at all the Kacchan he knew?
All his churning questions come to a halt when Kacchan moves from where he was seating and clutches him by the shoulders pulling him closer, red eyes still branding him hotly. Izuku's heart stops.
"Deku," Katsuki calls his name again, voice crackling with fire, "You.." He pauses, reconsidering, scrutinizing Deku's face as if in search of answers. The words stuck in his throat, not quite sure how he should have gone about this. His fingers dig deeply into Izuku's shoulder blades, his knuckles turning white. "Have you ever thought of dating half 'n half?" He says at last, brief and concise, gaze never leaving Izuku's.
"What?" Izuku squeaks under Katsuki's pressure, his voice comes out in a high pitched shrill. Green eyes huge and disbelieving at the question. "I-I..." Izuku stammers, confusion gripping at him. Why was Kacchan asking such a question? What did that have to do with anything? Why his childhood friend had to be such a mystery? "I don't get what you mean, Kacchan... I, I-"
"Answer the goddamn question, Deku." Katsuki almost bellows as he shakes Izuku briefly; there's grave seriousness in his voice, a hidden thunder waiting for liberation. And depending on the answer, Katsuki could well damn unleash it. "Have you or not, Deku?" He repeats carefully.
"Wh-what? N-no, I never." Izuku says, stumbling over his words, his entire face had to be in flame, Izuku knew. "Todoroki kun is my friend, that's all. I never looked at him that way." He casts his eyes sideways, lacking the courage to keep looking at Kacchan's eyes, which, for unfathomable reasons seemed to strip him of his usual calm. "Todoroki kun isn't my type." Izuku adds, embarrassed at his own confession, his lips quivering. He didn't understand why he felt the urge to specify that Todoroki wasn't his type, but odd enough, he just needed Kacchan to be aware of it.
He feels Kacchan's grip on him relent then, hands slowly sliding down from his shoulders to the sides of his waist as Kacchan lets out a sigh of utter relief.
"K-Kacchan?" Izuku turns to him again, cheeks still dusted red as he watches Kacchan briefly closing his eyes before looking at him again with a different glint in his red eye, as those sturdy and strong hands clasp tightly and desperately around his waist.
"And what's your type then?" Katsuki asks with no shame, words low and hushed that nonetheless, pierce straight through Izuku with the force of a thousand, tiny explosions.
"Wh-what?" Izuku yelps in surprise, breathing hard through his mouth, his eyes widens in dismay as a new wave of heat overwhelms his body. He's too conscious of Kacchan's hands on him, of those hands that had now moved on his tights as Kacchan stared deeply at him, giving no signs of letting him go. Izuku wished he had a teleport quirk to catapult himself in another dimension such was his embarrassment.
"W-what kinda question is that, Kacchan?" Izuku wails his hands in front of him, face beet red, his heart beating with a new rhythm and his brain almost halting all of its gears. "Besides, this is not about me. Shouldn't you be the one telling me who's the girl you're in love with?" Izuku asks, keen of diverting the topic elsewhere.
"I never said it was a girl, Deku." The words leave Katsuki's mouth before he can stop them, before he can become aware of them. It was almost as if his brain was in shambles, not able to process any coherent thought. Perhaps it was his hidden desire to let Deku know the truth, to let it all out after so long that made him disclose his secret. A secret too big for Katsuki to continue keeping it inside.
There were no yelps, no words and no shrieks on Deku's part this time. Katsuki's confession was met with absolute silence. An unbearable, deafening silence. It's only when Katsuki's shambled brain starts to reassemble itself that he becomes aware of the situation, of what he had blurted out without thinking. He boggles, pupils enlarging in shock as his gaze canvases over Deku's unreadable expression. Katsuki hated it when he couldn't read him, when he couldn't penetrate that brilliant nerdy mind of his, which was another reason why he had never confessed his feelings to him. But now the quietness was killing him, and Katsuki could only wait as more moments of silence passed; the only noise being the light ticking of the clock on his kitchen wall that resounded like a time bomb ready to explode altogether with Katsuki's heart.
Swallowing a lump down his throat, Katsuki's hands hesitantly fall back from Izuku's tights into his own as he draws back to sit on his haunches, waiting, anticipating and...
"Kacchan!" Izuku's voice is hushed but his timbre is wholesomely firm, grand and it resonates into Katsuki's head loud as a roaring thunder. He sees Deku regarding him from under his messy bangs still wearing that illegible expression of his, and Katsuki swallows again, deep and hard as he waits for him to speak.
"You-", Izuku pauses; this time it's his gaze piercing Katsuki fully, unmalleable and renitent, making Katsuki shrink under its power, "You are into guys!?" It's not a question but more a statement, a confirmation to which Katsuki nods slightly. He watches as Deku's features scrunch in sudden realization, as those large green eyes stretch out of their orbits in revelation.
Finally, Katsuki thinks, biting his bottom lip in exhaustion, finally Deku knew. Only an idiot wouldn't catch up with the gist of things, and Deku couldn't be so dense not to acknowledge his feelings for him, not to acknowledge his pining, his adoration, his longing, his-
"You are in love with Todoroki kun?" Izuku blurts out the unexpected question, face blanched and eyes wider than before. Katsuki immediately sputters, coughing and chocking on his saliva, entire body rumbling and shaking in horror.
"Wait what?" Katsuki shrieks in consternation, hands trembling with anxiety. Him in love with half 'n half? What kind of sick process had led Deku to come to that disgusting conclusion? "What the fuck nerd! What made you think-"
"I'm sorry, Kacchan!" Izuku hastily interrupts him, voice breaking at the new piece of information he had just acquired about Kacchan's love life. "B-but I d-don't think I c-can have t-this c-conversation right now," he says, words tripping, tone the embodiment of disappointment. He turns on his heels and stalks away from Kacchan's apartment without another word, almost as if he was chased by a villain.
Deprived of physical and emotional strength, Katsuki falls from the couch and onto his knees, arms limb at his side, watching in dismay as Deku runs out of his apartment in a rush.
What the fuck had just happened?
Katsuki growls, quickly taking back his previous statement. Deku was not an idiot. He was a huge, dense idiot, and the worst of it all was that Katsuki, to his own chagrin, was in love with that oblivious idiot.
"I'm in love with the densest and oblivious moron of all times."
Katsuki sighs as he runs a wobbly hand through his hair. That green nerd was going to be the death of him.