Well, as promised, the second post of the week! Hope you enjoy!

Chapter Thirteen: Zim

Over the months that passed, I made plan after plan to annihilate the human race, but they all seemed flawed. If I thought through the plans logically, there was nothing wrong with them, but every time I started one, it felt wrong somehow.

What was wrong with me?

Dib seemed to gain a little weight, and he gradually stopped falling asleep in class, but he was still slow, as if muddled. Every now and then, he would have moments of what looked to be clarity, but they would quickly fade, and he would have to read something multiple times to understand it.

I was relieved to leave Dib's sad face behind and retreat into my base, and I was ecstatic to hear my telecom ring. I instantly banished GIR upstairs and turned on the screen. "My Tallest!" I exclaimed. "You have never called be before!"

"No, Zim we haven't," Red agreed. "And we actually have good news."

A small gasp came out of me. "What is it, my Tallest!"

"We're coming to Earth to take it over for snacks!" Purple shouted before shoving a handful of potato chips into his mouth.

"Oh, thank you, my Tallest!" I shouted. "I just knew that one day you would see my brilliant work for what it is! When are you coming?"

"We're on our way right now," Red informed. "We should be there in a few days. A week or so. We're locked onto the signal coming from your base, so if you get a warning that there's someone tracking you, it's probably just us."

"Oh, thank you, my Tallest! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I cannot wait for you to get here so that we can crush the humans together!"

"Yeah, Zim," Red said. "We'll discuss more while we're on our way."

I opened my mouth to speak again, but then they cut the transmission. I stood there for a few moments, wrapping my mind over the fact that they were actually coming. And I wasn't forcing them by taking over their ship and dragging them here.

I rushed upstairs to find GIR rolling around on the floor with a pig. Where he got a pig, I have no idea, but I've gotten used to his crazy antics. "GIR!" I yelled, catching his attention.

GIR's eyes flashed red as he got to his feet. "Yes, my lord!"

"The Tallest are coming to Earth and will be here in about a week. We need to make this base and this world ready for them. So if you make a mess before they come, you're cleaning it up!"

The red color in GIR's eyes faded back to blue, and he said, "Then I guess I should get MiniMoose back and put this pig back in the park."

"Sure, whatever," I permissed. "Just leave me alone for a few hours so that I can gather all of my plans together."

The week until the Tallest's arrival passed by much too slowly, and it didn't help that Dib seemed to be backtracking. He was starting to lose weight again, and resumed falling asleep in class. I didn't know what was going on with him.

As I was gathering plans, I overheard GIR's TV, and found out that the humans spotted what must be the Tallest's ship. Most of them seemed to think that it was a large meteor, but I still had to get rid of any evidence of the Tallest's arrival. The program GIR was watching said that they were bringing in Professor Membrane to help assess the situation. That was the Dib human's male parental unit, wasn't it? How convenient. I already knew where he lived.

That night, I left GIR and Minimoose locked in the house as I snuck into Dib's house through an open window. It turns out that the window lead into Dib's quarters. He was lying on his bed with his glasses off and his eyes closed, his hand tied to the bed frame with rope. I jumped over him and landed silently on the floor, making my way towards the door.

"No, no," someone whispered. I turned around to find Dib rolling around in bed. "No aliens. Not real," he muttered. "They're coming to Earth. They can't be. I'm sorry." His hand that was tied to the bed frame clenched and unclenched over and over again as he repeated what he said before.

I didn't know Dib talked in his sleep. It would have been entertaining if his words weren't so depressing.

I left the Dib Stink to mutter to himself as I silently made my way through the house. I went down the stairs and found Gaz sitting on the couch with her male parent, both of them with controllers in their hands as they played some kind of game on the TV. I snuck past them and went towards the basement stairs.

I entered the Membrane lab and silently searched the place. After a few minutes, I found a drawer labeled "Space Research". I opened the drawer and found file folders filled with pictures, graphs and charts as well as some kind of small electronic device that I've previously heard described as a flashdrive. I stuffed them all inside my PAK, excitedly anticipating destroying the files at my base. I quietly made my way back out of the lab, up through the house and back to Dib's quarters. I used the mechanical legs that extended out of my PAK to silently cling to the ceiling and go over Dib.

The Dib Human screamed below me, and I froze, thinking that I had woken him. He would summon his parent and then I'd be caught without my disguise.

I glanced down and found that the Stink Boy was writhing on his bed, his eyes squeezed shut. It looked like he was trying to get away from something. The rope that was tying him to his bed was pulled so tightly I could hear the fibers creaking.

The louder noise of footsteps running up the stairs caught my attention, and I dove out of the open window, clinging to the outside wall.

"Dib, wake up!" a voice yelled. It sounded like the Dib Human's parent.

"Dad!" Dib shouted.

"It was just a dream, son," the parent informed, his voice softer than before but no less urgent. "You haven't had one like this in weeks. Are you alright?"

There was silence for several moments, so out of curiosity, I peeked over the windowsill and into the room, finding the Dib Thing and his parent with their arms wrapped around each other.

I ducked back down as they broke apart. What were they doing? It looked to be affectionate, but I thought that human affection was pain-based because of what happened with Tak, though it occurs to me that Tak was Irken, meaning that she was faking it. And Dib did say that she hated me. Could I have had human affection wrong?

I quietly climbed down the wall and quickly made my way back to my base.

"Computer!" I demanded as I entered my lab. "I need you to do some research for me on human affection."

"Ugh. I thought we did that already," the computer groaned.

"I said research!" I ordered. "Obey me! I am Zim!"

"Fine," the computer sighed as the door to the lab slid open.

GIR ran through with Minimoose on his head. "Soooooooo, how was the triiiip?" GIR wondered.

"Fine," I dismissed. "I acquired the data the humans had." I grabbed the files and the flash drive out of my PAK and passed them to GIR. "Here. Destroy these."

"Oooooooooo…...Okay!" GIR yelled gleefully.

"Research on human affection complete," the computer interjected.

"You lookin' at loooove?" GIR asked.

"What!" I shouted. "No! I'm done with love after that accursed Valentines Day!"

"Then why'd you ask me to research it?" the computer inquired.

"I'm talking about affection between parents and their children!" I corrected.

"Oh. Well, then I researched the wrong thing. Give me a minute," the computer said.

"Well, I was gonna show you this." Minimoose floated off of GIR's head with a squeak, and GIR opened up the compartment in the top of his head. He reached in and brought out a DVD case and handed it to me.

I took the case from him and looked at the cover. It had a man holding a woman in the rain with their faces uncomfortably close together with the words "The Notebook" at the top. I turned it over and glanced at the pictures on the back and found that same man and woman with their mouths pressing into each other.

I screamed in surprise and dropped the case. "WHY WOULD YOU SHOW ME THAT?!"

"You said you were researching love!" GIR argued.

"NOT THAT LOVE!"

"Research on affection between parents and their offspring completed," the computer interrupted. "Uh...what movie were you looking at?"

"Nothing!" I dismissed. "Now put your research on screen."

The large screen flashed before filling up with data. I skimmed through it until I found information on something called hugs. "Hugs?" I repeated. "Computer! What is a hug?"

"It's easier to show rather than explain," the computer said before throwing up a picture on the screen. It was of an an adult female and a juvenile male. They had their arms wrapped around each other in the same way that Dib and his parent did.

"So they were hugging," I muttered aloud. "Computer! What is the purpose of these hugs?"

"Hugs are typically used to show affection or to comfort another person who is upset," the computer explained. "The action is not limited to family members but can be performed between friends and lovers as well."

Human affection is different than I thought it was.

In the Invader Zim comic series, it's actually canon that Gaz and Membrane play video-games together, and I think that's sweet! And it's also canon in issue 41 "Pop! Goes the Skeleton!" that Dib's scythe or cowlick or whatever it is has a bone in it...

I had a lot of fun writing the end of this chapter. Hopefully it lightens the mood here a little bit. Hope to see you guys soon for the next chapter!