Fear

-=oOo=-

Faster.

Faster!

Faster!

My breathing is short and gasping and my wings are burning from the effort, but I can't stop. I can't even slow down, I have to fly faster.

I try to calm myself. Raven must've teleported them straight to the infirmary. She and Cy can handle it. If anyone can, they can.

But I fear what she might do. What she will do.

She won't let Starfire go. She will take Star's wounds and pain away. She will absorb them and make them her own.

And it will kill her.

I know her well enough. If that's what it takes to save Starfire's life, she won't hesitate for an instant.

I can see Richard below, his bike screaming down streets and alleys and avenues. I'm flying as a peregrine in a line as straight as a ruler, doing at least a hundred miles an hour, heading for the Tower. He's keeping up with me, even if he has to weave around buildings, cars, trucks, people.

I don't have time to flare my wings and slow down as I reach the roof. I transform into a cheetah in mid-flight and touch down running, heading for the door. A quick morph into a gorilla to rip the door from its mountings and back to a cheetah to bound downstairs to the infirmary even before the door could clang on the floor.

I skid on the slippery floor as I turn a bend and crash into the wall. I ignore the pain and use the rebound to power myself forward.

Faster.

I burst through the infirmary door and make myself stop. Rae and Cy never look up, even if they know I shouldn't be here without washing myself and putting on sterile overalls.

I stumble as a hand pushes me brusquely aside and Richard walks past me. His face is cast in iron and his fists are clenched. I grab his arm and try to hold him back, but he pulls away from my grip with vicious absent-mindedness.

"Cyborg, speak to me," he demands in an unnaturally flat voice. It's wound up as tight as a steel trap, and just as dangerous. His hand goes to his face to tear the mask off.

Victor doesn't bother to answer him. Richard's shoulders are rigid and he leans forward, ready to lunge at them.

I move beside him and grasp his arm again. It startles him back to his senses and he retreats a little, but he doesn't relax.

Silence falls. The instruments squawk and hum their indifferent melody. Cy and Rae communicate through looks and small gestures and grunts. They move in urgent synchronicity around Starfire's prone body, a purposeful, anxious ballet danced to the hushed beeping of the medical monitors. Sweat dots Cyborg's face as his eyes flicker from the terrible wound in Starfire's abdomen to Raven and back. Raven nods; her bloodstained hands glow; her jaw muscles bulge and her eyes squeeze shut as she fights it.

My fists clench. I want to rush in there and drag her away. I don't care if she'll hate me for it. I don't care if I'll hate myself for it.

But I can't.

God help me, I don't think I'd be able to do it even if it was a nameless, faceless civilian, let alone Starfire.

I stand and watch, my hand digging into the unfeeling biceps of the bronze statue standing beside me. His only movements are the steady flaring of his nostrils and the deep, heavy rolling of his breathing.

The stench of antiseptic is overpowering. We wait. A warm drop slithers tickling from my scalp over my temple.

A dissonant warble enters the monitor's rhythm, breaking Raven's and Cyborg's flowing movements into anxious, lurching twitches.

"We're losing her," Cyborg's calm comment twangs the tension like an overdrawn rubber band. Robin steps forward, disregarding my hand clamping in voiceless supplication around his arm.

His head jerks towards the woman I love. "Raven!" his cry commands and implores and accuses and hopes. "Do something!"

A snarl uncovers my fangs and my talons slide out. My eyes narrow to slits and a growl pushes itself through my jaws as I spin and reach for him. He doesn't even notice, his gaze is fixed on the hospital bed.

My hand closes around his throat and lifts him up and slams him against the wall. I bare my teeth in his face. My claws convulse and ruby drops slide down the skin of his neck. His eyes never leave Starfire's prone body.

A dull thud stabs into my ears and I whirl, dropping Richard and pouncing towards Raven's collapsed form. A large, metallic arm blocks me and shoves me away. I stagger back into Richard's arms that close around me like steel hoops.

Cyborg picks her up and lays her gently on a spare bed. He quickly selects a hypo and injects her. I stand frozen as Cyborg switches his attention between the two girls, his massive bulk and heavy hands astonishingly nimble and gentle. He checks Starfire and grunts, then turns to Raven and lifts carefully one of her eyelids, shining a light into her eye.

His shoulders slump as he faces us. "They'll be fine," he croaks and stumbles to sit down heavily on a chair.

My muscles dissolve and my knees wobble. Richard's arms release me; his hands search for my shoulders and he turns me to face him.

"Gar, I… I'm sorry," he whispers. The ice has melted from those blue eyes and they're now naked and guilty.

I give him a small, shy smile. "They'll be fine," I forgive him, repeating Victor's words. "They'll be fine," I try to explain myself remorsefully. "They'll be fine!" I laugh and embrace him. "They'll…" I choke and hug him and sob into his shoulder.

His arm around my shoulders pulls me gently towards the door. "Let's go get some rest," he murmurs.

"Yeah. They'll be fine," I grin my agreement through my tears, wipe my eyes with my sleeve and follow him out.