Chapter 14: canterlot finale part one
Castle, main dining hall
Compared to the last meal they had, this table was remarkably silent. Everyone already had some type of agenda with the other. Spike was dead set on actually having an open conversation with twilight. Celestia was hanging onto the results of the conversation that twilight and spike were planning to have. Luna was wondering exactly what she was gonna do with her guest today. Matter of fact, compared to everyone, luna was thinking the most about her day today.
"I never really go out, maybe a walk on the town…" luna's head was spinning with excitement.
Something that most ponies didn't know until they met luna is how much she values connection. Just by sight, it's easier to mistake her for something a little bit more intimidating but this just makes things harder for her. She loves meeting others and desperately wants ponies to see who she truly is. That's why her role in the night is what she has the most passion for. Consoling others about their problems for the short amount of time is a joy for her. She never forgets any story she's been told by anyone and tries her best to help everyone. That want for connection is what's leading her to this current point.
"Excuse me but where's trixie?" luna asked, being the first to break the silence.
"She'll be here in a bit, she woke up a little later then me" spike replied.
Luna wasn't worried but she does know that something could be on her mind after the last meal they had together.
"Hey, twi.." spike said, trying to gain twilight's attention. This was a successful venture as twilight turned her head towards the drake.
"Do you wanna hang out today, like, go somewhere in the city?" spike asked her. Obviously he was going to get a yes from her, getting that chance to talk while having a little fun.
"Of course, how about after breakfast?" twilight asked, spike nodded in reply.
"The sooner the better" spike said with a smile, twilight returning that smile with her own.
Twilight was already feeling a little lighter after yesterday's talk with celestia. It seemed that confronting what she was running from did the trick. Admitting that some kind of pressure was getting to her was a hard thing to do. However, she stills feels some slight unease about taking the next step in her life.
"Ambassador…" twilight took this thought and honestly felt very warm about it.
When she first even thought about working in the castle, her goal was this. Traveling the world, meeting different races and trying to find peace within those races. It all sounded like an impossible dream to her but it almost came true. However, she was given a choice, a choice that she wished wasn't given to her. Fear lead her into making the choice she ended up with and she'll never let that stop her again.
"Look who's come to the table…" spike said sarcastically.
After taking a bit more time in the bathroom then usual, trixie lulamoon finally made her way to the breakfast table. However, she did something that showed she was having some kind of issue. She glanced at spike and immediately put her head down. She then took her seat next to luna and started eating the food in front of her. This display really off put the group but it more or less confused spike in general. However, luna wasn't surprised by this mood shift at all. Ever since the first meal they had, she picked up on something that should seem very apparent to everyone.
"So, are you ready to have fun today?" luna asked in the most casual she has sounded in years towards anyone besides her sister. Her excitement was the most apparent with the chipper tone she used to say these words.
"Huh?... i mean, yeah, of course!" trixie exclaimed, cobbling together a reply, hinting pretty loudly that she wasn't paying attention.
The lack of attention was something that luna picked up on quite easily. It would be fair to assume that she saw something like this coming. However, she didn't carry this opinion with any type of ego. She carried it with great empathy for the young mare. Conflict and love were both feelings that luna could strongly relate to.
"Are you alright?" spike asked, clearly seeing through trixie's false veneer with concern for her.
This concern didn't help the mare's already frazzled mental state. The concern and kindness were both things she really liked about him. Or, at least, she trying to push those things about him out of her mind. She looked back at the drake and wasn't sure what was about to come out her mouth.
"I'm fine, just thinking…" she replied passively.
"Thinking about what?" spike asked, not letting her go as easily as she wanted.
She was screwed, not ready to come up with a effective lie. Just the thought of a previous stage pony not being to come up with a good lie was funny in her mind. She was dead silent for at least a good minute before a princess came to her rescue.
"It's rude to poke into matters of a private nature" luna said in her highly intimidating tone.
Honestly, the tone wasn't something that trixie was a fan of but it did the trick. The drake was left flustered and embrassed.
"I...i'm sorry" spike said nervously before reverting back into silence.
She did feel kind of bad for the way things ended up due to her silence. However, this seemed more like a thing that would be forgotten about pretty soon. But still, even with how frazzled she was feeling, she felt the need to reassure him.
"Hey, it's fine, no hard feelings" trixie said in her clearest voice possible while faking a smile.
Spike took luna's advice and left it at that, no matter how much of his being wanted to probe more. Because of this, the table was lead with a small but uncomfortable silence. Each and everyone on this table was in their own mind for a short second. That is, until luna actually decided to speak up.
"So, any plans for today sister?" luna asked, casually trying to break the silence
"Catching up on old work, days off actually give me anxiety…" celestia replied passively, revealing a chink in her armor.
"Why is that?" spike asked, breaking the embrassed silence he was in.
Celestia was expecting for someone to explain her point of view. Expecting and being prepared for the possibility are two very different things.
"I...when i'm doing nothing, i think about everything that needs to be done, something i deal with on my own time.." celestia replied, gaining a nod from the entire room.
This was something that celestia kept secret from everyone for years. It was mostly easy since no one has ever saw her on a day off. She kept things this way intentionally, not wanting to break the image of strength and reliability. Even though this was something that would imply having a distance from ponies around her, it actually meant the opposite. Due to her more visually approachable demeanor, her subjects didn't fear her. This was a fact that luna was eternally jealous of.
The table was quiet once more, everyone almost finished with the meals and ready to engage in their separate days. The pairs that were grouping together gave each other a glance before the next words were spoken by celestia.
"Well, i have a busy day today, i'm taking my leave, have a good day everyone!" celestia said in a highly chipper tone. Gaining nods and smiles from the entire group as she got up and left the table.
It didn't take long for the rest of them to finish their meals. Spike was about to take his dishes to wash them but forgot about the cardinal rule of the castle. Happy to work servants will always be available to do simple tasks like washing a dish. Trixie took a quick glance at spike before he and twilight left to do who knows what.
This left trixie and luna at the table to sit to ponder silently at the table. However, luna was quietly excited but waiting for spike to be far enough in order to address it directly. As spike and twilight reached their final step upstairs, seemingly heading for twilight's study. Luna turned her head towards trixie and said the words and immediately started a conversation.
"When did it start?" luna asked, trixie was puzzled by what she meant by that. Luna saw that puzzled look she gave her and pushed more.
"You know, the feelings you harbor for the drake" luna finished. Trixie was shocked by how upfront she was about it.
"Um… well, i… i don't know what your talking about…" trixie replied, nervously stumbling through every word.
Luna clicked her tongue and shook her head in disbelief. She knew how easy it would be to catch her off guard. However, what she needed was her to admit it and that maybe the hard part.
"Don't be embrassed by it, love is…." luna didn't even get to finish her sentence before trixie interjected.
"Magical?, special? Pfft, i wish that was the case…." trixie said dismissively. Being unaware that she basically confirmed luna's suspicion.
A lot of things were against trixie in this scenario. She docked a point for being desirable and likeable in her own head. In honesty, she feels like spike's project then any kind of love rival and that's not even heading towards the biggest issue. Going after someone who is seemingly in a good relationship. Thinking toxicity would ever come from either spike or fluttershy in their relationship seems idiotic. Plus, in the end, what would spike really be getting that he can't get from her. These were thoughts that plagued and invaded her mind, making the idea of feelings less positive.
"Why don't we talk somewhere else…" luna said, honestly just wanting to leave the castle for today while still wanting to listen to trixie.
Trixie thought the idea of fresh air was a good one. Canterlot was a place that she wouldn't end up in for a long time. She looked at the mare and gave her a passive nod in reply. Her and luna emerged from their seats, luna ready to have a nice day.
"Wait… i'll be right back, let me get my… hoodie?" luna was seemingly asking her new compatriot.
"Um… maybe go for a sunhat, don't look as if you have something to hide" trixie replied, charmed by her childlike excitement about the day.
"Your right, your right!" luna replied, finding trixie's advice very useful as she headed for her room upstairs.
Trixie couldn't help hold a smile and get excited to hangout with a princess like luna. However, spike was something she couldn't get out of her mind. Matter of fact, the question that luna asked her before got her to think. She remembers the exact day her feelings started to grow for him. However, at this current moment, she doesn't wanna tell the difference between acknowledgement and truth. For now, she decided to continually push back these thoughts and wait for luna to inevitable address them.
However, time for self thinking was immediately over as she heard the hoofsteps of the princess approaching her. She turned her head to see a admittable nice looking princess in front of her.
"For some reason, the sunhat puts it all together" trixie said, gaining a nervous chuckle from the princess.
Luna decided to ditch the small necklace like chest place that had her insignia on it for today. Foolishly thinking that this would not make her instantly recognizable in public. However, she did find a casual looking and form fitting light blue dress. Her goal was looking at least presentable to the populus she was about to face.
"I see, you changed your look… but you'll never change yourself, at least, you're never gonna be rid of me.." the unpleasant voice that plagued the princess has finally returned to haunt her again.
"No…." luna slipped out in the lowest of low voices. Hoping that trixie didn't hear her. Gladly she didn't and they were semi ready to attack the day. Both walking side by side, carrying a good amount weight with them.
Castle: twilight's quarters
"Oh my…." these were spike's immediate first words when seeing twilight's living conditions.
It wasn't dirty in the traditional sense but it was definitely crowded with various file folders and books. For someone living in a castle, a room the size of a broom closet seemed off. The admittable well maintained mattress, was basically the entire floor. The only space that wasn't just the mattress was the small wood desk with a stack of files on it. Spike was genuinely surprised that twilight wasn't embrassed to show this off.
"I know, it's bad…" twilight followed that reply with a sigh. She now started regretting taking spike in here.
She didn't even remember the purpose of starting here, why not talk in the garden? This was basically the cesspool of twilight sparkle. However, this didn't really phase her in the end. It felt like showing a family member you terrible mess. Sure it's embarrassing for anyone to see a visible version of your worst self. But, in the end, you have an expectation that family would be more forgiving about these things. She only halfway had this expectation for spike and he didn't disappoint.
"No, i mean… whatever makes you comforta…." spike was quickly trying to cobble up a good excuse.
"But i'm not comfortable…" twilight quickly interjected, leading spike to a very instant silence.
Spike felt that he needed to think about the next couple words to say to her. However, this process didn't take long for him finish.
"Then why?" spike asked, cutting directly to the chase. Not wanting to overthink something as addressing a room situation.
Twilight took a quick glance at her overly cluttered table and immediately had the answer in her mind. She took a seat on the mattress and this immediately cued the dragon into sitting right next to her. Twilight first gave a deep sigh and started her response.
"I guess, punishment…" twilight started.
Spike was paying full attention to her as she spoke and was halfway towards understanding her.
"Did you know, i was originally going to be an ambassador" twilight said, spike had a face of disbelief at this fact.
"Yep, and it was my choice to skip that and become a translator. celestia was ok with my decision but she knew just as well as me that i didn't belong here…" twilight ended that sentence with a short sigh.
"I had fears, lots of them, it didn't help that nobody decided to get in touch with me. It felt like a bunch of loose ends needed to be tied… at least that's how it felt the first year…" twilight voice slightly faded at this point.
This is where spike felt terribly bad and he was unknowingly showing this on his face. He even put into question his own reason for staying in ponyville. He didn't really have time for that line of thinking thanks to helping out trixie.
"Anyways, during the 2 years i've spent here, i originally used this place as my workroom and your guest room as a bedroom...But i piled on work after piece of work and decided i should live in it" twilight quickly finished, thinking her reasons was pretty straightforward. However, her tone was starting to sound pretty dismissive about her quite melancholic time at the castle.
Spike was loaded and ready for apology mode. Feeling like he owned every bit of misery that twilight suffered through. He never wrote her, visited her and was afraid to even acknowledge her after their goodbye.
His lips were about to form the trademark words that twilight was ready to here from him. Knowing this, she was already prepared with a response.
"Don't, if i wanted to see you, i would have found a way and i didn't. if it makes you feel better, it's both our faults for not connecting" twilight said this as firmly as possible. Not wanting spike to harbor any guilt about her years at the castle.
Spike nodded in reply, the feeling not going away at all but atleast respecting twilight's wishes on the matter.
Actually, what seemed to be the heaviest part of their conversation was basically over. Spike really over blew the results of their conversation in his mind. Talking to her was something spike feared for years and this is all it amounted to. It was so funny to him, spike just had to comment about it
"Well… that was way less than i expected" spike said with a chuckle.
Twilight nodded and started chuckling herself after saying
"Were you expecting big dramatic waterworks, cause i'm sorry to disappoint, you missed out" twilight replied. spike finding that morbidly funny for their current situation.
After they both had their piece, they shared a hearty laugh together. This small fraction of time was something missed between the two. However, it was actually twilight that valued small moments like these more then spike. The two took a slow breath after their laughing fit and spike immediately switched his tone.
"Seriously though, i'll make sure to write you everyday, i promise" spike said to her, getting a nod from twilight.
This promise actually put a genuine and warm smile on twilight's face. These weren't the simple words that twilight was always looking for but they were important enough. Hearing this was actually helping twilight make up her mind on an important decision.
"From the bottom of my heart, thank you spike…" twilight said warmly, feeling the weight their current conversation is lifting from her.
Spike was both half confused and slightly embrassed at her thanks. He didn't feel as if he said anything with that much weight to her. However, he decided to take the credit mentally.
"No problem!" spike exclaimed with a cheesy thumbs up motion towards the mare. Twilight gave off a small chuckle at spike's motion.
After spike gave his reply, he remembered something very important. Matter of fact, it's been so long since he's seen the pink mare and that worried him.
"Did pinkie pie mention anything about a going away party?" spike asked her.
Twilight shook her head, not even receiving any kind of correspondence from anyone and that included pinkie pie.
"No, not at all, is there something wrong?" twilight asked.
Now that twilight mentioned it, spike hasn't heard anything from pinkie in about a month. It's not like her to forget something like a party or saying goodbye to her friends. However, spike decided to not let it worry him for now. She might have just taken a small trip or something of that nature.
While spike was thinking, twilight was already getting up from her spot on that mattress and was ready to leave her cramped room
"Alright, your in canterlot after all, let's do something fun before you leave!" twilight said with a random burst of excitement.
Spike agreed to that sentiment but after going to the pawn shop in canterlot, he wasn't sure his finances could take anymore. Spike didn't know that this thought process turned into a very visible look on his face.
"Of course wherever we go is on me, my salary is pretty large…." twilight said, doing her best version of a humble brag.
"Any salary is big when you don't buy anything" spike said with a chuckle while getting up from the mattress as well.
Twilight was only slightly amused by this as they were both walking out of her room. However, that didn't mean she had nothing in return before fully leaving her room.
"Any salary is low when your irresponsible" twilight said in return with a hearty laugh.
Spike held his heart, twilight cutting deeper then he remembered she could. In the end, he still ended up laughing with her. Both of them walked side by side, fully reconciled with each other. It's almost like time never truly passed for them and they were aloud to walk without their baggage weighing them down.
Canterlot: celestial diner
The first place that luna wanted to stop by was this diner. A diner the overlooked the outskirts of the city, only miles before the fairgrounds. All she's ever heard from her guards is how great the atmosphere and food is.
Just walking into the place gave off a homely atmosphere. The walls were of a warm brown color and the floors were made of brown hardwood. The checkout desk was small with a large door behind the desk. This was probably leading to the kitchen in the back where the heavenly scent of baked goods were coming from. Luna was immediately struck by this scent and that just made her hungrier.
While luna wanted to keep her desperate hunger a secret, trixie was no such mare.
"Wow, it smells so good!" trixie said in childlike like excitement.
This allowed the small amount of eyes that were in the diner to direct their attention towards them. These eyes finally noticed that a princess enter the diner and because of that, their gaze never left them.
However, something that luna noticed immediately was the look in the ponies eyes. No love or even adoration was shown in them. Heavy respect but the kind of respect earned by fear and nothing more.
"All you have to do is play the role…." that plague of a voice was returning again.
She couldn't lock up or talk to something that doesn't exist in front of all these ponies. Breaking down would only exile her more. For now, no matter how heavy her steps seem to be, going up to order was her priority.
"Hey, i'll cover lunch for today, is that ok with you?" trixie asked her.
Luna didn't see why this would be a problem so she nodded in approval. Trixie gave her a bright smile in return and made her way towards checkout desk and luna followed suit.
The register mare wasn't really paying attention until trixie spoke up.
"Excuse me" trixie asked politely, gaining the attention of the mare behind the desk.
She was looking under her desk for something until she pulled her head up and saw the tall princess infront of her.
"Princess luna…. Welcome to our humble diner, what would you like today?!" the mare said in excitement.
This excitement was quite a new reaction for her. This hasn't been something she's received in years. It reminded her of the excitement ponies had when her sister came into town and it was refreshing to see.
While overthinking this small reaction, she completely forgot that it was trixie that spoke first. She turned to her and saw a comedic look of pure defeat in her eyes. Luna didn't take it this way and decided to speak up for her.
"Thank you… but it was my friend who ordered first" luna said, refraining from using her stern voice.
Trixie looked up and heard this gesture that luna did for her and was very warmed by it. This reminded her that she was spending the day with a honest princess.
She put her head up and looked at the gigantic menu infront of her. Some of the choices on the menu were a little bit suspect in her opinion.
"Rabbit meat….?" trixie remarked aloud. Seeing a burger on the menu that featured that meat she just mentioned.
The checkout mare giggle a bit at her reaction and addressed trixie directly.
"We have a unique subset of burgers but we promise one thing, all animals are dealt with as much care as possible" the mare said to her, sounding like a corporate shill in the process.
Trixie, now knowing fluttershy in a more personal level, apologized to her in spirit as she said her order.
"I would like that rabbit burger with a side of hay fries" trixie said, feeling immensely guilty but knowing the burger is gonna be good.
Luna was still deciding but after thinking it over while trixie was ordering, she decided to keep it simple.
"I'll just take a salad…" luna said passively, the checkout mare nodded in acknowledgement.
She read off their total bits as trixie paid not reluctant at all. The checkout mare gave them their order number as their next task was finding a table for both of them. Trixie knew exactly where she wanted to sit but luna was a bit more unsure.
There were about 4 seats inside the diner and three more outside where the main attraction is. The reason why this diner is called the celestial is because of one massive thing. A couple feet next to the diner was a giant statue of princess celestia. This was a project that the staff was really passionate about. To the point where they actually had princess celestia herself oversee the project for at least a little bit of time. It's giant and highly detailed, made of pure stone and emerald for the eyes.
The diner really wanted this to be the reason you came besides the food. The last three tables were lying adjacent to a large, rectangular window pane which gave everyone a nice view of the statue. Luna didn't really care for having a statue and for that reason, celestia's statue didn't evoke any jealousy. However, that didn't mean that she wasn't feeling any type of way about it.
"Let's sit next to the window...,Unless the statue bothers you?" trixie asked, quickly remembering the giant statue outside of said window.
"No, not at all" luna replied without any hesitation in her voice.
This lead to both of them picking the seat positioned towards the middle of the window, hoping for a nice view.
Unlike twilight and spike, it took a little bit of time before trixie and luna started their conversation. Luna was a bit more awkward in public and trixie had a very big issue stewing in her mind. Trixie was waiting for luna to speak first, knowing that she was going to bring up what was on her mind. She was looking outside the window beside them until luna finally spoke up as she expected.
"So, how was your first night at the castle?" luna asked genuinely.
This wasn't what trixie expected her first question being even if it sounded like the most obvious one. At the same time, her and spike had a big fight that night but that sounded too conspiracy like. She directed her gaze at luna and decided to respond.
"Great, the room was wonderful" trixie replied, returning with a slightly forced positivity.
Finally, as trixie expected, luna started shaking her head but not clicking her tongue. Trixie guessed she might have been embrassed to do the whole bit.
"By the way you carried yourself, that doesn't seem to be the truth" luna replied in the motherly tone remeniecst of the time they spoke in trixie's dream.
This tone was something that trixie was really fond of for reasons that were unknown to her. Because of that, she couldn't reply to luna with a lie and that slightly frustrated her. Before she answered, trixie grimaced, not liking what she's about to admit.
"I...if what you say is true, then that makes me a very selfish mare" trixie replied in a defeated tone.
Luna knew this was the best that she was gonna get out of the mare. However, it was good enough and allowed her a small look into her mindset. This didn't confuse luna, it actually lined up with trixie's mindset on most things.
"What do you mean selfish?" luna asked her.
Trixie sighed, she seemed prepared for this line of questioning but that didn't mean she wanted anything to do with it. However, she didn't even really have an answer prepared for luna. While she doesn't think her line of thinking is complex, it's a feeling that she can't comprehend fully.
"Well, i don't know…" trixie passively replied.
Luna was ok with this answer because of her 100% dedication to finding out her reasons. Luna nodded in understanding and replied with her own question in return.
"Are feelings a commodity?" luna asked her, this question puzzled trixie.
"What do you mean?" trixie asked in confusion.
"Are feelings something earned, is payment required to have rights to them?" luna asked, sounding slightly snarky with her question.
This snarkiness was really peeving trixie because she still didn't understand the point she was trying to make. However, the idea was quite obvious but it still was flying straight over her head.
"I guess not, what's your point?" trixie asked, replying with her own bite of attitude.
Luna didn't appreciate this but she still decided to let it go and illustrate her point.
"Why are you acting like you need to earn the right to feel a specific way?" luna asked her directly, dropping the sarcasm completely.
Once trixie heard this, she immediately felt dumber for not seeing that coming. She felt even dumber then that for realizing how spot on she was being. She didn't make a pass at him, tell him how she felt or anything of that nature. All she did was slowly start to realize the feelings she was already harboring.
Soon enough, after thinking about what luna asked her, things started adding up for her. There was one thing on her mind when they were both waking up that morning. Thinking foolish things such as not wanting him to leave or not letting anyone take him. One of these thoughts sounding very ugly and possessive and she hated that. trixie understood what luna meant but answering her required peeling back these unwanted thoughts.
"There was a stallion, years ago obviously…" trixie decided to answer luna with a small story of her own.
"I met him one day during one of my shows and we…, no, i, was so happy with him…" trixie was reminiscing with no amount of joy in her voice.
Luna was paying attention but already knew the direction that this story was heading. Unfortunately this was a story that was all too familiar for her.
"A couple weeks later, i told him i loved him and it scared him away…." trixie followed that with a sigh.
Luna nodded, instantly feeling the heartache she would have endured in that moment. Matter of fact, the pain of scaring anyone was something that she could instantly relate to. This pain was strong enough for luna to almost tear up.
"I don't want to scare him away, luna" trixie ended her statement, calling to the princess directly.
Luna being directly addressed really hit her hard. It felt like a wish that she was trusted with personally. The hardest thing was finding any type of way to grant the wish or give her an answer. When that answer is something she doesn't even have fully figured out yet.
"What do you want then?" luna asked her in reply.
"I don't want to be alone" trixie replied with a very simple answer.
That was a simpler question to answer for luna but as she was about to answer.
"Oh, i know, advise her to take what she wants, no matter the cost" the voice returned for its own input.
Luna wanted to scream, this voice seemed to never leave and wanted nothing more than her demise. She been pushing back these attempts at demsie for awhile but the more she listens, the closer it comes. Luna was wondering if she should mention the existence of this voice to trixie. However, she decided against it due to the idea of revealing such a thing being seen as scary to the public.
"I'm sorry to say but change happens no matter how much force you will against it" luna replied but these words didn't settle things for trixie.
Matter of fact, these words just pushed her into more worry then she had before. Is spike leaving something that she can't change? She didn't even like the reasons for him leaving in the first place. That's what their argument was about and luna was bold enough to tell her that her voice was worthless to him.
"But what if this change is negative for both parties?" trixie asked but her discontent was showing in her voice.
Luna was about to respond until the voice appeared once again.
"Why would you tell the girl such a lie, is she supposed to lie down and let things happen to her…. Oh wait, that sounds…." the voice egged her on.
Luna finally had a visible grimace on her face, she couldn't handle the voice and it's interference on her. She looked at trixie and straight up asked her a question that secretly applied to her as well.
"How badly do you want things to stay the same?" luna asked her.
Trixie was slightly offended by this accusation but at the same time couldn't really hate her for thinking that. However, she doesn't believe that she just wanted things to stay the same.
"That's not what i…." before trixie could finish her response, luna quickly interjected.
"Why do you live with the drake?" luna asked.
Trixie had nothing but silence in response to her question.
"You seem to have a decent amount of funds on you, you could've rented somewhere, so why?" luna asked, not letting her angle go.
She's right but it isn't like trixie didn't have any type of reason for not having housing. At Least, that's what luna is lead to believe until trixie revealed this piece of information.
"I… ponies, all of them, they still have a grudge with me" trixie cobbled up a reply.
Even if it was sensible for this to be the reason, luna didn't accept this. She looked at trixie with intensity before saying the next thing on her mind.
"So then they have the right to deny you housing? there isn't one other pony in this world that would give you a place to stay?" luna asked her, breaking down what seemed like a logical excuse.
Trixie sighed, knowing that her logic was running very thin and decided to just admit the truth of her situation.
"I scoped him out, ok!" trixie blurted out.
Luna finally got the words that she wanted and something that she could truly work on with her. But in order for this to work, luna needed to play dumb to her implications.
"Scope him, what do you mean?" luna asked, trixie followed up with another sigh.
"I..i originally had a plan for one final bit of revenge but for some reason that changed…. So i had him in the back of my mind when coming back to town" trixie said with shame in her voice.
"What was that plan?" luna asked, hoping it wasn't something too dire.
"I.. i didn't know actually…" trixie said passively while falling back into her own small thoughts.
She remembered that anger, she remember the long bit of planning while returning to town. Just looking at the house fueled said anger. What she didn't remember is what changed her mind exactly but it was quite obvious.
"Anyways, instead of taking revenge, i decided to…." as soon as trixie started saying, she had a small epiphany in her mind.
Trixie instantly understood the question and point that luna was aggressively going towards. The next few word choices were about to illustrate that understanding.
"I decided to change" trixie finished.
It felt like a breath of fresh air to admit something like that but the full connective tissue wasn't coming to her yet. How this all related to what she was currently feeling? She didn't know yet and decided to let luna connect that tissue for her.
"Trixie… do we need others to validate our efforts?" luna asked the most honest thing on her mind in response to trixie.
"Of course…." as soon as luna heard this voice appear, she wasn't having it.
"I didn't ask you…" luna fired back passively but sadly trixie did hear her.
"But you did…" trixie replied quite confused by her small outburst.
"Sorry, something with my… not the point, please answer the question" luna quickly and desperately wanted to redirect the focus from her maybe illness.
This one was a question that trixie really thought about for the minute she did. Her entire career for awhile was gaining validation for her efforts. She soaked it up and it made her feel more whole then any period of her life. However, she's always had a problem with the mare that looks right back at her.
The crowd could say she's the best thing since sliced bread but it didn't matter to her. Performance was like the high of drug and like most highs, it wears off. However, knowing what the crowd wants and taking both negative and positive feedback helped her. Sometimes it helped improve the show and in special cases, helped her improve herself.
The thing is, trixie lulamoon is a mare that's still figuring out who she is. She's not gonna have the perfect answer, all of these thoughts are proof of this. She doesn't want to lead luna on the path to dependency but how can you lead a path to a freedom you've never experienced.
After a crazy amount of thought for that single minute. Trixie gave her best answer for the moment.
"I hate to admit this but spike's encouragement helps me a lot sometimes. however, we need our own encouragement too, more then we think sometimes" trixie said.
For some reason, saying that gave her and strong emotional feeling. It really touched luna in a unique way. They were almost the words that she needed to hear at that exact moment and this almost linked her with trixie. Enough where she was ready to tell her about the seemingly active remnant of nightmare moon in her head. However, instead of burdening her with such a mess, she decided to give her encouragement.
"Now i won't interfere with your situation cause that would be wrong. but, he will see your heart and i see it in his eyes, he cares deeply for you" luna said to her.
Trixie looked up at her and those were words that put a giant smile on her face. While these words aren't gonna convince her to compete with fluttershy in any type of way. They did give her a small boost of confidence. She still worries about what choice he'll decide to make today. In the end, she still just wants the drake around to hang out with. He kinda canceled out her cynicism and rose being the only friend in ponyville just unsettled her.
"Thank you, don't forget how awesome you are either" trixie replied keeping her bright smile on.
This got luna to blush and get flustered slightly. However, these were also words that luna didn't even know she wanted to hear. However, something was preventing her from taking those words and it was that plague on her mind.
"She better be talking about me, wouldn't make sense if that was directed at you…" the voice finally drew luna to her focal point.
She had two choices, mentally break down in the most public of places or just tell someone the issue she is having. However, her small sense of embarrassment wouldn't allow to tell trixie that she's going mad. Instead, she decided to rephrase her cry for help in a subtle but more direct way.
"Am i, even after…" trixie wouldn't even let her finish that sentence.
"Of course, matter of fact, your better for it" trixie replied.
"Better for it?" luna replied, confused by the idea.
"Yeah, coming out of the other side is one thing but coming back stronger, that's another…" trixie was saying but luna wasn't quite into this idea yet.
"But, what i've done, could never be erased, nightmare will never leave my mind…" this was the closest luna was ever gonna hint towards the voice in her head.
"Ok then, where does your command of a room come from?" trixie asked, luna shook her head once more.
"Command of a…." before luna could finish her denial, trixie had something else for her.
"Yes, that command could scare ponies but that command also saved my flank this morning" trixie finished with a chuckle, luna could only muster a small smirk at first.
"I'm working on it too, but beating ourselves up isn't gonna do anything, learn what we can, you know?" trixie finished with the most simple of presentation.
This simplicity was something that luna appreciated because it felt genuine. This also allowed her to look at the voice and nightmare moon in a different light. Maybe she should stop and try to reconcile with her old self. Thank her for the lessons learned and the traits gained from that time in that dark.
"Maybe we could…" luna was thinking but the voice decided to finish her statement for her
"Coexist…" for the first time, this voice didn't sound antagonistic.
Once she heard this, everything instantly clicked for luna. This voice, it barked louder and louder for a reason. This voice was the past luna wanted to box up and ignore. As soon as luna understood that, two things happened. She nodded in response to trixie and decided to indirectly address her subconscious in her own way.
"No matter how much i push her away, nightmare moon will still be apart of me…" luna started saying.
Trixie was surprised by how open about this she was being in public. However, all this did was help place luna more down to earth for her.
"She made me blind but she also made me stronger and in the end, i'm more than just her!" luna finished with a burst of confidence.
Saying these words gave a feeling of immense relief to luna. These were words that were the hardest to say before but now came naturally to her. She still feared her control and might never lose that fear. But now she knows that fear is what drives her to do better and be better.
This also seemed to satisfy the voice, as she only heard one last thing from it before she was on her own.
"Finally…." it seems as if luna's subconscious was satisfied by this as well.
Trixie felt this great sense of pride and this got her to smile for the princess. Luna saw this and returned her smile in kind. Throughout their long and deep conversation, they totally forgot about the food they were getting. matter of fact, for a small diner, the food was taking an abnormally long time.
"Geez, what are they doing in there, do they kill the rabbits live?" trixie asked jokingly, both of them chuckling at the joke.
Then, seemingly out of nowhere, a young mare approached their table. This mare had eyes on luna and then decided to speak. She also seemed to have on some kind of blue employee vest on her.
"Sounds funny and all but there are rumors…" the mare said ominously.
Both of their looks immediately turned to grave and stern ones. If this was true, luna was wondering if she had to act and trixie was wondering the same thing. The mare saw the looks on their faces and started bursting in laughter. Luna was puzzled but trixie realized that this was her version of a joke.
"I'm sorry… i had to too… anyways, i came to tell you your food will be ready in a minute…" her words were constantly stifled by more laughter.
"Ha, ha, good one…" trixie said in a annoyed tone. She never really like being the target of a joke.
However, luna was the opposite, she shared a small chuckle at the joke but small enough for the employee not to notice.
"Alright, you two enjoy your upcoming meal!" the mare with a service trained smile.
Trixie was annoyed by this mare, still not getting over the practical joke she made.
"It should have been here already!" trixie directing her frustration at the service mare.
Luna was just absorbing the moment in silence with a warm smile on her face. She was already getting a lot from this day and they didn't even start the meal. She'll admit having the same frustrations with the amount of time the food was taking but she had trixie for the more outgoing reactions. However, she did find the amount of time everything was taking very concerning.
"Wait, didn't i only order a salad?" luna asked, regaining trixie's attention.
"Heh, your right…, luna, if i die today, i'm blaming you" trixie replied jokingly, getting a laugh from luna.
However, something interesting happened between the two. The concerns about the amount of time the food was taking were slowly alleviating. Luna was less awkward public and was having too much fun to worry about the amount of time food was taking.
Finally, trixie and luna's food were brought to them by a service mare. Both of them were ready to be terrified or disappointed by the food they were about to be served. Instead, the heavenly scent of the burger immediately hit trixie's nose.
"One rabbit burger with a side of hay fries!" the service mare called out, placing the first meal down on the table.
"Thank you, this looks great!" trixie applauded the service mare who she was just irritated at a second ago.
"Give me one second, you salad is coming!" the service mare said to luna with that same excitement.
Luna nodded, at this point not really caring about the subpar salad she was about to be served. The service mare came back to their table with the quality of salad that luna was expecting.
"And one salad for the lovely princess!" the service mare said as she placed the salad on the table.
Luna was ok with what she had and for her, it wasn't about what she ended getting from the deal. She looked down at her salad and looked at trixie with a bite of burger in her mouth.
"What?" trixie asked, barely audible due to the food in her mouth.
This made luna laugh and proved her point in even more. No matter how subpar her salad is, this day is going to be one to remember for her and trixie.
An: hey, wow, a chapter that is somewhat on time (but not really). Chapters will be coming in a monthly rate, i am positive on this. Also, if you noticed, i've changed my formatting for the story and yes, this will be happening to older chapters. Because of this new formatting, it helps me write clearer and fast, bah boom! Ha, but seriously thanks for all the support, makes my day seeing new alerts!
Ps: chapter revisions will come when i have a hold on new chapters. Although i am working on revising the first chapter, so look out for that and the new chapter this month.