Chapter 19: Trixie and rose part 2
Rose's Shop
"I'm sorry… what?!"
Those words, the intensity of said disbelief. It admittedly shook the red colored mare. Slightly gripping her back to the reality of her plan. The stupidity of it, almost reconsidering it. Her breathing started to shift. Nowhere near the level of panic. However, it was uneven, shaky would be the best to describe it. Not noticeable to most ponies but stressful enough for her. Most wouldn't notice it, her friend didn't. Just when she felt the most doubtful and alone. A rough but warm paw gently placed itself on her head. Turning to see Talce looking at her, a nervous smile on his lips. A snaggle tooth creeping out from those lips.
She thought it was adorable. But also, it was rather comforting. In real time the interaction only lasted for a couple seconds. For her, it gave her confidence and comfort. Enough to remember why she was even doing this. She regained herself, looking at the surprised unicorn in her eyes. Proceeding to do the best she can to explain the situation.
"This gem… it was stolen from a local shop owner, I intend to get it back"
The confidence she held with that response. It made the shy diamond dog proud. A prideful smirk present on his lips. Meanwhile, Trixie was still bewildered. The gusto present in her response wasn't really swaying worries. Deciding to request a bit more information.
"Why in the world is any of this your problem?" Trixie asked, disbelief held in her voice.
"Doesn't matter, it's the right thing to do" Rose replied, confidence never wavering.
At this point, trixie couldn't really argue with her. Yet, she wasn't truly won over by her sentiment. She still sensed the danger in the idea. Feeling the recklessness and risk of it entirely. Her lack of foresight on the risks. Putting it all on the line just to do something kind. It was eerily close to a certain dragon's mentality. Liking him or not, he could be quite reckless himself. The state of others guiding his emotions too frequently. A fact she wants to talk to him about someday. However, unlike the dragon in question. Trixie had the ability to change his mind. Stopping him from uprooting his life due to fear. Rose wasn't like that, especially when she's set on something. Which seemed to be the case based on her tone.
For Rose the silence on her end was deafening. Wanting a sense of trust from her friend. Although, her perspective was quite inarguable. However, her personal reason kept sticking in her mind. An explanation she didn't feel quite comfortable giving at the moment. With nothing left to argue for it being a sensible plan. She decided to attack it at a more emotional level. She let out a light sigh before speaking.
"Look… this job… it's important to me… so like it or not i'm doing it" Rose replied.
Trixie heard the weight she held on those words. The importance of this risky gamble became clear. The reasoning was still loose but the passion was too clear to ignore. At this point two choices were in front of her. Let the mare fend for herself and worry endlessly about her. Or risk her own skin and join the mission. Trixie rolled her eyes in passive annoyance. Cursing herself for having even a little bit of morality. Letting out a defeated sounding sigh, she came to her decision.
"Do you honestly think i'd let you do something this stupid on your own" trixie replied.
Her tone was playful, a small smirk growing on trixie's face. When she saw her emotions soften, Rose was relieved. She didn't want to admit it but making the trip without her just wouldn't feel the same. Even though she had a diamond dog on her side. Having one of her closest friends approval and company. It's just something that couldn't be beat in her mind. A smile of her own started to grow. Harboring a decent amount of excitement for the oncoming journey. However, something else quickly came to mind. Her took made a slight, unnoticeable glance at Talce. Shuffling uncomfortably, unsure of what to say or do. Completely forgetting to introduce him to trixie. She quickly made an effort to correct this mistake.
"I almost forgot, this handsome little dog behind me is Talce, my partner in crime!"
When Rose introduced her diamond dog friend. She did it with a fair amount of enthusiasm. Forgetful but genuinely excited to make the introduction. Talce,on the other hand, was not as excited. He already knew the light blue mare feared her. But calling attention to that would be introducing him. Forcing her to play coy at being friendly. Getting another up close look at the fear she held. He looked up, focused his eyes on trixie. Raising his paw to make a small but awkward wave.
"Nice to meet you.." His awkward but gravely voice let out.
When she heard him speak. The low tone that she associated with diamond dogs frightened her a bit. Her near death experience with one never leaving her head. The sharp claw resting close to her neck. Ready to slit it at a moment's notice, Death a very close possibility. Yet, when her eyes were focused on him. The body language showed a completely different image. While he held a paw up in the air for his wave. It immediately retreated back into his waistcoat pocket. While he was trying his best to keep his eyes on her. They occasionally drifted to the floor, due to the discomfort he felt. While he still had his fangs and sharp teeth. The horror inducing effect was slightly nummed.
He held an awkward smile, making an attempt to hide his teeth. Yet, a small fang still snuck out between his lips. Taking on the quality of a nervous puppy. A quality that trixie was quickly finding endearing. While he was still a stranger to her. Not only just a stranger but a diamond dog. If only just a little bit, she started seeing more then that. Enough to let a growing smile escape her lips. Nervousness started to gradually leave her body. Her gaze focused mainly on the dog.
"Same here" She replied, holding a welcoming tone.
When Talce heard this, His gaze quickly left the floor. Focusing on the mare that gave him the warm response. Noticing the fear she held was no longer present. Just a mare giving a warm greeting. Not seeing his sharp claws and teeth. He let out a small and barely audible chuckle. The honest greeting meant a lot more then even she'd recognize. Letting out a small but confident nod in response. There was a level of silence for a moment. Just basking in the moment the two created. The genuine, barrier breaking discovery. It just needed to sit with them for a couple seconds. But that silence was soon broken by a certain bright red mare.
"Ok, so now that we all know each other, let's get to business" Rose stated.
"Of course…" Talce replied, snapping out of the moment.
He stuffed his right paw into his waistcoat pocket. Shifting it around, pulling out the map once more. Unintentionally returning the parchment in his pocket during the conversation. He rolled the parchment out once more. Both mares focused completely on the drawings.
"What's our time frame?" Rose asked him, her focus deep on the parchment.
"Well… he wants to show the thing off tomorrow night…"
When Talce answered her question. He was very much prepared for the shock. He held a semi decent defense for himself. He only got the news and finished the map within the same week. He wasn't necessarily dealt the best set of cards. So far, none of the mares said anything. As long as that stayed the case. Maybe he could potentially avoid any trou…
"Wait, tomorrow night, does that mean…" Trixie was the first to start pointing it out.
"We only have one half a day to pull this heist off…" Rose finished, disappointment in her voice.
"Other clans were becoming impatient, he responded to that…" Talce responded.
"Wait, other clans, what do you mean?!" Rose's disappointment quickly fell to shock.
"If Graphite proves his hunt successful, control of the clans is handed to him…"
Rose couldn't believe her ears. Clan control given to a literal psychopath. A simple favor now harbored the fate of the small rustic town. Just the weight of that responsibility floored her. Hearing that name, Graphite, it shook her core. Trixie had no idea who this Graphite was. But the twisted, shock-ridden expression on Rose's face said enough.
"Who's Graphite?" trixie asked aloud, wanting an answer from someone.
Once the question was put out there. It was like a pin dropped in the small store room. The only two creatures in the room harboring the knowledge. Acting as if they heard the name of a ghost. Their reactions almost made her forget she even asked. Slightly fearing the answer that might be given. Before getting the chance to drop the question. Talce decided to be the one to address her.
"A monster, a violent monster wearing the skin of a diamond dog…"
The intensity coming from the soft spoken dog shocked trixie. She didn't know him too well but the shift was apparent. It jolted rose out of her frozen stupor. Not because she hasn't heard this tone before. It's rare but something she's heard before. The words were a stark reminder of who they were dealing with. The importance of this mission instantly became clear. Fear or no fear, she needed to do this.
"He needs to be stopped, shown for the fraud he is!" Rose exclaimed, pounding a hoof to the ground.
Her face matched the intensity of her tone. A fiery but determined anger was inside of her. Every inch of her face looked scrunched up. Lips curled, reflecting this self serious emotion. Not caring about the potential obstacles ahead of her. Talce loved seeing her motivated in this way. His words potentially inspiring the revelation didn't even cross his mind. It wasn't important, getting this done was. Trixie was quieted by her intensity. It being quite a rarity to see her with this amount of determined fury. It threw her off but it also made the stakes clear to her. A small gust of air left her nostrils. Taking a small moment to think about what she's about to say. That moment only lasted a second. Rose's fire sparking her own preverbrial flame.
"If that's the case, we have no choice but to do this!" Trixie replied, responding to Rose's energy.
When Rose heard Trixie's determination. She knew the unicorn was fully on board now. With that being the case, there's no way she could let her down. The half a day was still a bit concerning. But with all their heads put together. The cherry colored pony was sure they could find a way. Her stark and serious facial expression softened. A wicked smile growing on her lips.
"Uh, so we're still doing this? Cause, it's a really time sensitiv…" Before talce could finish…
"OF COURSE WE ARE" The two mares exclaimed in unison.
"Geez, y'all didn't have to blow my ears out…" He replied, placing a paw on his forehead.
"Sorry… wait, why is it a time sensitive issue?" Rose asked, catching what he was about to say.
Talce was surprised that Rose catched that. Honestly, the whole time sensitive comment slipped out. Honestly hoping he didn't have to bring up what he was about to bring up. Yet, with his great luck he still ended up having to bring it up regardless. He started becoming really sheepish. clasping his paws together and rubbing the top of one with his thumb. He let out a small sigh before speaking.
"So there is good news and bad news, which do you want first?" Talce asked the two mares.
"Good news first, The bad news never makes sense without context" Trixie replied, turning her gaze towards Rose for her answer.
"Smart mare, let's hear that good news" Rose replied with a smile.
"Well… I did manage to get the carriage you requested…" talce started.
"That's awesome talce!" Rose replied with genuine excitement.
"Wait, what's the bad news?" Trixie asked, harboring cautious optimism.
"Well, the colt I got it from was shifty…" Talce started, not exactly presenting the news in the most straightforward way.
"Define… shifty'' Rose inquired, cautious about what was going to leave his mouth.
"Um… 20 bits for the vehicle, but make sure it leaves ponyville tonight…"
"TALCEEEE, WHY DIDN'T YOU LEAD WITH THAT" rose exclaimed, practically fuming.
"Sorry…. But in my defense, you asked for the good news first…``
Talce attempted to defend himself, his tone rather low and mouse-like. Shameful of the massive mistake he made. However, that shame was interrupted by trixie's response.
"Hey, hey, yelling isn't gonna solve anything, leaving now will…"
Trixie's voice was calm in the chaos. Trying her best to be a mediator. As frustrated as she was at talce. Looking at his apologetic and shameful face made that impossible. Plus, she did also agree with trixie's sentiment. She let out a deep and frustrated sigh. The air leaving her body slightly calmed her.
"Your right….might as well get ready…"
Rose's tone was passive aggressive. Still harboring a small amount of frustration. She knew time was required for her to calm down. Time away from the root of her current frustration. Deciding to walk away. Heading towards the backroom to pack a small bag. Her hoofsteps were loud and pounding. Hearing aggression in every step.
This left Talce and Trixie alone. Frozen in their current location. Once Rose was completely out of sight. Without even uttering a word. Talce dragged his feet, pushing the front door open. Head completely down, looking completely dejected. The door slowly recoiled back into place. Trixie was unsure who to confront or comfort. Deciding she'd rather comfort someone today. Followed the forlorn looking diamond dog outside.
It didn't take long to find him. Or the carriage that he managed to acquire. Parked right alongside the store. It was definitely sizable to say the least. Strong maple wood was the material used. A striking jet black colored the rectangular shaped vehicle. A gold lining stripped the bottom edges. That same lining coloring the edges of the steps as well. The steps contrasted the black of the outside. A bright white coloring them, made from the same wood. This left the entrance to the carriage. A simple curtain was protecting the inside. Matching the black color of the carriage. The quality was impressive for the circumstance it seemed Talce got the vehicle in.
Speaking of the dog, she saw him as well. Resting on the front of the carriage. Placing himself where you'd usually find the puller of the carriage. The leather harness barely rests on him. His gaze was focused on his paw. Claws fully sheathed, just staring at them. However, he didn't look ready to attack. Rather, he looked downtrodden, disgusted at the boney weapons. The unicorn was fascinated by his current attitude. Something about his stance was striking a cord with her. Deciding to go forward with her idea to talk to him. She made her approach deliberate but fast. Noticed by the grey colored dog. Breaking from his small stupor but quickly placing his head back down.
"Hey, you alright?" Trixie asked, concern ridden in her voice.
"um… yeah, i'll be fine…" Talce responded, head still down to the ground.
She wasn't satisfied with this particular response. Waiting until she was actually next to the dog. The fear she harbored earlier was no longer present. Current actions being a quick reminder of that fact. He felt the presence of the mare plopping down next to him. Sharing the spot another pulling horse would usually take.
"You neither look or sound fine" Trixie responded, her eyes locked on Talce.
He turned to notice her staring. It took him off guard at first, wanting to return his gaze to the floor. But something about her gaze was comforting. The light purple in her eyes radiating warmth. Slightly breaking the emotional barrier he was building. Unintentionally letting a personal thought slip out.
"I just wanna be a good something… you know?" He asked aloud, a sigh following the statement.
"Stuck between two worlds huh?" Trixie replied, immediately knowing what he meant.
"Doesn't matter anyways when you look like me…" He uttered, lifting his paws, showing his claws.
Admittedly her focus was drawn to them at first. Regretful that they were the first thing she saw. Feeling hypocritical in her judgement, a certain dragon appeared in her mind. Making her gaze hit the floor for a little bit of time. Thinking on how to respond to him. Unable to come up with a proper way to comfort him. Just letting silence define the moment. The howl of nighttime winds complementing it. The silence didn't last for too long. The crashing sound of the store doors signaled as much. Both Trixie and Talce turned to take a look at who they knew caused the noise.
The bright red mare appeared in front of them. A grey satchel slung across her chest. Light grey cargo outfit, riddled with various pockets. A pair of sunglasses, hanging on a cheap silver necklace chain on her neck. Her blue hair was tied up into a very neat bun. Not a single frizzle of hair was noticeably out of place. While trixie was simply impressed by the outfit. Talce was feeling something completely different. His eyes transfixed on the mare.
"Alright then, let's get moving!" Rose exclaimed, annoyance still riddled in her tone.
"Right…" Talce replied, tone slightly sullen, remembering their terms weren't the best at the moment.
Rose quickly walked, taking a small glance at the carriage. Not bothering to soak in the details of the vehicle. Only focusing on getting inside the thing. Trixie was still sitting with talce. Noticing the way his eyes slightly danced up and down her friend. A wicked and playful smirk escaped her lips. Unsettling the dog that was sitting next to her.
"What?" Talce inquired, curious about her grin.
"Nothing, nothing at all" She replied, following up with a light chuckle.
She maneuvered her way away from the dog. Following her moody friend inside the carriage. Leaving Talce to prepare himself for the journey. Slinging the soft leather harness onto his chest. The straps felt rather comfortable on his thin grey fur. The belt was next, wrapping the accessory around his waist. Securing it, a satisfying click signifying success on the matter. He let out a relief ridden sigh. Patiently waiting for the go ahead to start moving.
Rose took no time to soak it all in. QUickly galloping up the steps. The carriage rocked back and forth due to her roughness. Trixie wasn't prone to repeating her actions. Taking caution with every step. Being sure not to rock the quality vehicle. She passed through the curtain, the fabric brushing on her back. All to reveal the pristine but simple beauty of the inside. Spacious was Trixie's first complement. A ruby red painting the walls of the cabin. Surprisingly, the floor was carpeted. Harboring the same color as the walls. The softness of the carpet was enough for her to lay down. Her friend decided to do the same. Decoration was sparse for the most part. A large chest was placed in the middle of the floor. Besides that, nothing else really stood out about the cabin.
Trixie laid her body out on the floor. Back pressed against the soft carpet, gaze locked to the wall. Picking the right side of the sizable cabin. Mostly because her frustrated friend took up the other side. Hoping she'd get over it halfway into the trip. With that in mind, trixie's mind drifted elsewhere. Specifically about how to tell said frustrated friend about returning to magic. Returning to an identity that has caused so much pain for her. However, a part of her was thinking something else. What about her? How she felt and what she wanted for herself?
"Hey…" Rose called out in a low tone, breaking Trixie's thought process.
"Yeah?" She responded, attention immediately gained.
"Is Talce ok?" She asked, her tone still rather dulled.
"Honestly, you rattled him a bit" Trixie replied bluntly and honestly.
"I'm not surprised, I was kinda rough with him…"
It felt like an instant for the light blue unicorn. The frustration and stress that once enveloped the red mare evaporated. Replaced with a visible heap of guilt. A slight frown was visible on her lips. The feeling of shame was irradiating from her. Unignorable to the unicorn beside her.
"Hey, it's nothing an apology can't fix" Trixie said, her voice soft and reassuring.
This piece of advice from her friend was well accepted. Getting Rose to fixate her gaze on trixie. Her choice was noticed by the unicorn, getting a warm smile in response. The genuine nature of the act. It really warmed her heart. She returned that smile the best way she could. Not nearly in the headspace to make it as warm. But a slight chuckle followed her respective grin.
"What?" She asked, chuckling with her, the laughter contagious.
"Nothing… just, thanks is all" She quickly replied.
"For?" Trixie asked genuinely.
"Being such a good friend" Rose finished, still wearing a smile.
"Least i can do…"
Were the only words she could truly respond with. Keeping her current frame of mind hidden from rose. Deciding to still wait on having that conversation. Wanting to hold onto this positive memory. Unsure if there will be any left to spare after she talks to her. Leaving a heavy pit in her stomach.
"Are we ready to move!?" Talce called out, gaining both of their attention.
"All good here!" Both mares replied in unison.
With that go ahead, Talce lifted his body from the ground. The additional weight of the carriage was first a small struggle. His clawed feet dug deep into the dirt below him. Those comfortable leather straps suddenly tightened. The comfort they held before turned into restriction. However, he fought strongly against these limitations. Centering the weight moving throughout his body. His foot left the grassy ground and stepped forward. After that first step, others quickly became easier. The wheels started kicking in, making the pull easier on the dog. With that, his speed started to greatly increase. Comfortably gaining control of the vehicle.
The two mares felt this movement. Soft rumble of the carriage proof of this movement. Breeze flowing through the light fabric curtain of a door. Moonlight spilling from the small gap where the curtains meet. Both mares' focus returned to the ceiling above them. A loud yawn escaped Rose's mouth. All the energy she expended was quickly catching up to her. Trixie felt the same, her body felt heavier then usual. Eyes starting to flutter, light slowly blinking in and out.
"Good night trixie…" Rose muttered, a snore quickly following.
"N..night.." Were the last words trixie had before falling into her own slumber.
Somewhere in dreams
The persistent rumble of the carriage was slowly eroding away. Background noise to the currently asleep light blue mare. Not even a snore escaped her mouth. Her slumber was peaceful. The comfortable feeling of the carpet assisting her.
"Lulu…"
The voice was faint but familiar. Yet, this wasn't enough to wake the mare. Matter of fact, she shut her eyes tighter in response. Scared of the mare who belonged to that voice. Not due to hatred or abuse but the sadness it brought her.
"Lulu… please…"
She was calling her, yet she remained ignored. The mare desperately didn't want to return to this time. As the voice called again, she noticed something. She was suddenly warmer. Audible cracks entered the soundscape. Like a log in a fireplace, the cracks were consistent. Memories of her childhood home quickly came to mind. Knowing if she opened her eyes, that's where she'd be. The fear of doing this quickly increased. Wanting those memories to finally fade for once.
"You don't need to worry about me…"
This conversation, she remembered it quite clearly. Even though she knew this was only a dream. Nothing she would do could change the past. What's done was completely done. Something inside was compelling her to speak. Dispel this mental picture of her mother. That alone pushed her to open those magenta eyes. Her theory was quickly proven true. The small but bright orange of the fireplace faced her. The living room carpet held the same bright blue. Yet, she didn't remember it being as clean as it looked. Those weren't the most important details to her though. This simple living room was the only thing to be seen. Everything else was a bright and empty white. Nothing else existed but the space she resided in. Well nothing besides her long lost mother.
Still laid out on her back. Her head drifted to the right side. There she was, the mare of her own origin. Fostering the same light blue body as her. Except her eye color was a light hazel. As compared to her daughter's bright magenta. She remembered her mother always wearing her hair down. It was always matted, messy, rarely brushed. However, it was long, nearly reaching the bottom of her slender body. Trixie always wanted her to cut it. But apparently the length appealed to some colts. She didn't share her mother's hair color. It was brighter blue compared to her own light toothpaste color. All those details made this faux memory of her seem real.
"You didn't make it easy…" trixie responded, slight exhaustion ridden in her voice.
"I didn't mean to make it hard either" She responded, her eyes locked on trixie.
"I.. I know…"
Seeing her hazel eyes barely peeking from her mane. They always were a window into her soul. The emptiness, world weariness of them. She couldn't help but bring her guard down. Self assuredness slipping away. This figment noticed this shift in her emotional defense. Deciding to look away from her. Her focus now driven to the dancing flames of the fireplace. Trixie noticed how this calmed her slightly. Deciding to push her gaze to the same direction. The cracking flames and strong oak smell calming her as well.
"You seem troubled, why choose me as a vision?" Her mother asked, sounding genuinely puzzled.
"I didn't, the only decision I made was to close my eyes…" Trixie replied with a heavy dose of sarcasm.
"You know, comedy was always your strong suit" Her mother replied with a light chuckle.
"I thought magic was too but…" Before trixie could finish her self critical statement, her mother interjected.
"Bingo! So that's what I'm here for!"
The genuine energy and excitement in her voice unsettled her. She remembered her voice to be low, whisper quiet. Unless you got her to laugh, it was the brightest and boldest. But this, this is something entirely new.
"Bingo?" Trixie asked, puzzled in both look and tone.
"You're still unsure about doing magic, being a showpony" Her mother responded.
With that, trixie became deathly quiet. Hating how spot on this figment was. Figment, she needed to remind herself that was the case. This wasn't her real mother, just a dreamlike personal interpretation. Her eyes still fixed on the bright flame. She let out a tired sigh, slightly shaking her head.
"I guess but that's not new…" Trixe responded with the tonal equivalent of a shrug.
"You miss it, your alter ego, how it made you feel" Her mother stated.
"Made me feel…" She said a loud sigh, processing the statement.
What did she truly feel? Taking on the stage, putting on a false ego. Pretending to be something bigger then she actually is. She didn't always have the best command of a stage. Yet, after awhile, she got used to it. If you tell yourself constantly how great and powerful you are, you start to believe it. No matter how much that concept didn't actually match with reality.
"Honey… you felt alive" Her mother replied, warmth irradiating in her voice,
"While killing everything around me…"
That response came directly from her heart. Feeling automatic on her part. Lazy, a quick shutdown of acknowledging any truth. If that was the case, then why did it still hurt? Why did she always seem to get choked up?
"You made mistakes…"
"Mistakes that can never be undone…" Trixie's voice was ghosty, whisper quiet.
"So many ponies made the choice to forgive you…" Her mother replied.
"Only because I'm not her, the monster…" Her voice raised an octave, sounding shaky and broken.
"The showpony wasn't the monster, your actions were monstrous…"
Her mother's voice was warm and comforting. A tone she was familiar with before. It was to reassure her everything was fine. No matter how much it wasn't. Matter of fact, if only for a second, it was slightly working. Trixie''s eyes were still fixated on the fireplace. Staying silent, still thinking of a way to respond. Her mind conflicting multiple ideas at once.
"Can I say something?" Her mother asked, the warmth in her voice still apparent.
"Why would I stop you now?" Trixie replied, passive and distant in her tone.
Now it was her turn to be silent. Unable to properly piece together what she wanted to say. Maybe the pain was still fresh in her mind. The disappointment of where things ended up. She at least knew one thing, delaying it any longer wouldn't help it. She wasn't ready to look at her daughter quite yet. The fireplace being a more comfortable place to look. The low flame complementing the start of her statement.
"That showpony, like it or not, is you"
Those words, the bluntness of them. It hit Trixie like a brick to the head. It was a simple truth, easy to understand. So then why did it hurt so much to hear? Why did the sentiment feel like poison to her core? Could she truly never escape her past? Doomed to carry the actions of her alter ego forever? The weight of these questions were slowly becoming too much to bear. A light sniffle broke the current silence. Her mother responded to these sniffles instinctively. Sliding closer to her daughter. Lying with her back to the carpeted floor. Her eyes were tightly shut but a slight bit of water escaped from one. Her mother then laid back first, right next to trixie. Her long mane spread wildly on the carpeted floor.
"Honey that should give you hope" She stated, her voice reassuring and soft.
"Hope…" She responded, her voice was muted, sniffles following her word.
"Hope that if you change, she can change too" Her gentle tone never wavered for a second.
"What if… what if as soon as I put that hat on…"
Trixie tried, she really tried to get the words out. Her fear, her true natural fears. Yet each and every word was broken by a sniffle. She didn't want to cry, she hated crying. Abandoned the action, never wanting to show weakness. Yet, she couldn't help it. No matter how much she tried to push down the emotions. However, as soon as her mother turned to her. Hazel eyes piercing through her deep magenta. Saying the one sentence she wasn't prepared for.
"Trust yourself, trust that you can make the right decision"
Self trust, a simple concept hard to grasp for the mare. Why would she even have any trust or confidence? Confidence in the destruction she caused? Confidence in her ability to hurt others? It made no sense to even reach for that ideal. Her mind was awash with all of these thoughts. Honestly, it was quite frustrating for the young mare. She wanted to escape it, the cloud of uncertainty. Her mother saw this uncertainty. The fear she was holding within herself. It was a familiar look, a familiar feeling. MIstakes were made in her life following that exact feeling. She refused to let her daughter fall into those mistakes.
"I can't promise you success or comfort… but i promise you freedom"
Her mother's voice held the same comforting tone. Yet, a certain pleading solidarity was attached to it. Grabbing the attention of her daughter. Freedom, that word, that concept appealed to her. A break, escaping the self hatred that formed her mind. Yet, that fear was still present, preventing her from moving. However, she was more compelled to fight it. Something had to change, she couldn't live like this anymore.
"I.. I want that freedom" Trixie replied, her voice light and shaky.
"Then tell her the truth, tell her who you wanna be" Her mother responded with solidarity.
"What if she leaves, unwilling to accept my choice…" Trixie replied, her voice gaining volume.
"If you've changed, she will see that persona change with you" Her mother replied.
"And if she doesn't?" Trixie asked, her voice shook no longer.
Her mother was expecting this response. Yet a large amount of silence was present from her. Her sight fell to the bright orange flame. It's crackling dominating the sound of the room. The silence was uncomfortable. But it gave trixie her own amount of time. Time to fester inside her own mind. Whether it should even matter what her friend thought. Holding her personal freedom hostage. Just thinking that felt foreign and disturbing to her. Yet, it wasn't an unwelcome idea to her.
"I.. i'm not sure how to answer that..?" Her mother responded, finally breaking the silence.
"Some spirit guide…" Trixie replied in a sarcastic tone, followed by a light and breathy chuckle.
When she initially responded to her daughter. Her gaze was still stuck on the fireplace. Wanting to hide the slight disappointment on her inability to find an answer. Not having the best life experiences herself. Yet when she heard that small sarcastic response. A small but warm smile escaped her lips. Noticing a small amount of progress made during their conversation.
"Hey i could've charged for this valuable information" Her mother quipped back.
With that, both of them bursted into genuine laughter. A connective tissue between mother and daughter. Said connection being something both of them were longing for. Vision or not, this moment felt real. Matter of fact, it felt a little too real. Was all of this really a construct of her mind?
However her time to think on this was quickly limited. A loud and sudden creak of wood shook her. Following this sound was a subtle but noticeable rumble.
"Can't we have just a little more…"
Her mother's voice was cracking, slightly panicky. Pleading for more time that wasn't coming. When Trixie heard this crack, it immediately clicked. When this fact was made apparent, all she could do was stare. Stare at the mother she hasn't seen in years. She's been in this position before, having to comfort her. A soft but warm smile appeared on trixie's face. The smile perfectly complimented her next set of words.
"Mom… it's ok, we'll see each other again… i promise"
Triixie's words held a strong sense of solidarity. A truth that her mother sensed greatly. Just the prospect of seeing her again was enough for her. Desperately trying to hold back tears, she gave her daughter a rapid nod. It was very filly like of her, getting a chuckle from trixie. Smiles were placed on both their faces. As the setting around them was quickly fading. Wiping away like we paint. The soundscape of a forest quickly taking over. Howls of timberwolves, the chip of crickets.
"I love you lulu…"
The words were quick but each word held such emotion in it. A warmth that was foreign to trixie. Reminding her how little she's heard those words in her adult life. Not some pet name, no, nothing as flimsy as that. Love, such a simple concept, hit to the young unicorn's core. However, before she could respond to the sentiment…
Outside of her dream, an awakened mare
Her eyes shot open, the cherry wood ceiling greeting her. The felt of the carpet gave her a small bit of comfort. Allowing her to recover from the sudden jolt. Her mind was fully awake but her body was still adjusting. Like weights attached to her frame and limbs. She was probably dealing with a bout of sleep paralysis. Nothing visual but movement was being hindered. The only thing she was capable of was mentally sighing. While waiting for this to pass, she noticed things.
While she was awake, the carriage was no longer moving. Yet, she could obviously tell it was night. White light spilled and split through the fabric of the curtain. What followed that light was also the howling wind. It's chill blanketing the mare from time to time. Quite annoying when you are stuck in a state of paralysis. Speaking of said lack of movement, some limb feeling was returning. Her neck was the first to return. Giving her the ability to turn. Her first instinct was to glance beside her. Expecting to see her friend resting or awake. Instead, all that was present was an empty spot.
"Huh?" Trixie uttered aloud in confusion.
Soon, she started connecting invisible dots. She didn't even hear a peep from talce. The only sound she could hear was the wilderness. The more she thought about this, the more she started to worry. That nervous energy started to flow to the rest of the body. Instantly regaining control of it. With that, she shot up from her resting position. The first thing on her mind was quite simple. Not wanting to be stuck in the everfree. Alone, at night. So, she made a dash out of the small carriage. Forgetting the stairs that were behind the sheer curtain. Tripping on the first step and gaining rather decent airtime. Falling flat on her face, luckily mud wasn't what greeted her. Instead, a soft but damp patch of grass did. Slightly softening the fall she took but not numbing the pain.
"T,,trixie.."
A familiar, femanine voice was calling her. Although, that greeting was being pushed out through bouts of chuckling. Soon as the chuckles started, she knew who called her. The worries she once held quickly turned to annoyance. Not even wanting to turn her head. Letting out a frustrated groan into the grass she face planted in.
"I'm sorry, you should have seen it from my end!" she exclaimed, bursting into full laughter.
She hated to admit it, but her laugh was contagious. Making it ridiculously difficult to not at least smile. Although, trixie was desperate to hide it. Keeping her face down, hiding the little snickers that were growing. However, this fight was one she quickly lost. Breaking out into her own fit of laughter. Lifting her face from the patch of grass she landed on. Getting up, regaining her footing. Fully standing, she got a chance to really focus on her environment.
"Anyways, come take a look at this" Rose said, motioning her head towards her direction.
Trixie noticed her head was motioning. Quickly realizing where they were. On the top of a massive hill. The carriage was parked near the bottom. Split between two different paths, two different ways down this hill. Talce was still hooked to the front of the carriage. Judging by his loud and deep snores. He was getting some well deserved rest. He curled himself up like a house pet. A goofy grin plastered on his face. The bliss in his face charmed the light blue mare. A small snicker escaped her lips, followed by a small but warm smile. The walk was small but the hill itself was quite steep. Making it a little more energy consuming then she expected.
After a couple of seconds, she was right next her friend. Sitting nearly on the edge of this sharp hill. She couldn't help but look below her. The amount of distance separating her from the ground. One slip and death would be the only thing greeting the mare. Rose noticed her friend's discomfort with the view. Something that she felt the complete opposite about. Making an attempt to convince her of said point of view.
"Isn't it stunning?" Rose asked her friend.
"More like horrifying…" Trixie responded with a light but nervous chuckle.
"Come on, don't focus on the height, focus on the view"
Trixie's head was still facing downwards. The echo of her friend's suggestion ringing in her head. She trusted her but still couldn't find the heart to ignore such a thing. Falling was death, falling was injury. Why would she ignore such vital things like that? Yet, those words were still echoing. A simple suggestion soon becomes a nagging thought. She sighed, surrendering to the repetitive ring. Her gaze shifted from the ground below. The sharp and jaggy rocks, the barren trees. To the bright and full moon. An endless and blue sky, peppered with small but bright stars. The moon gave her comfort, almost like luna herself was comforting her. That endless horizon reminded her of possibility. Yet, there was something still unsettling about it. But the beauty far outweighed the discomfort.
"See, isn't it wonderful?" Rose asked, looking at her friend with a warm smile.
She had to admit when the mare was right. It was truly quite the view. The more she looked out, the more peaceful she became. Yet, there was still this uncertainty. The endless horizon also communicated a sense of mystery. A sense of the unknown, slightly anxiety inducing. Trixie knew she was reading too much into it. Unable to venture outside of her headspace. Her gaze ended up looking quite empty. Like she was completely outside of her body. Her thoughts drifted into the sky above her. Rose turned to her, looking concerned at her emptiness.
"Trixie… are you ok?" Rose asked, voicing her concern.
Hearing her snapped the unicorn out of her trance. While it jolted her, trixe's gaze never left the horizon. At first, she was ill prepared to face her friend. Unable to look at her and admit her truth. A view of the jaggy floor below the horizon reappeared. A reminder of the danger, the risk. Yet, that horizon was still above her. That bright and full moon is still shining. It's white light blanketing her. These elements sharpened her resolve. Made her feel less alone, the night felt less daunting. She sighed, the air exhausted letting out anxiety. She turned to her friend, a determination filled her eyes. A fire that rose hasn't seen lit in the longest time.
"Rose… i wanna do stage magic again" Trixie said, not a stutter in her voice.
"You what?" Rose asked, in complete disbelief with what she said.
Her disbelief, while expected, was still a gut punch. She wanted her acceptance and needed it. Otherwise it felt like a crime, it would never feel right. These thoughts were washing over her in real time. Her previous resolve started to weaken slightly. Harboring a small amount of regret. Wanting to immediately take the words back. Pretend she didn't even say them.
"I love you… lulu"
A small, faint, whisper quiet voice echoed. Her mother's final words before waking from a dream. It quieted all her rushing thoughts of regret. All her fears of no longer pleasing her friend. Instead, for a moment, she thought of herself. What she wanted, who she truly wanted to be. Her shaky resolve strengthened once more. The small stretch of silence was finally filled.
"I'm going to do stage magic again" Trixie replied, confidence echoing in her voice.
"W..what made you decide this?" Rose asked, still processing her statement.
"Because… because i miss it" Trixie replied, a simple but powerful sentiment.
"After all this time…" Rose's confusion was obvious and audible.
The only response trixie could offer was a simple nod. For her, there was nothing else to explain. No better way to express her feelings. Atleast, nothing she could give without a response from her friend. Who currently needed a small bit of time. Time to sort through the mountain of contradictions in her mind. Wanting to support her happiness but hating what would make her happy. She hated this contradiction but the feeling was unshakeable. Her head returned to that night.
It was a fear she would never wish on anyone. A heartbreaking loss she could never bear to repeat. The strength of those memories overwhelmed her. The open night sky being her only sense of comfort. With all those thoughts in mind, she let out a heavy sigh. Turning to her friend, ready to respond. Letting her hear the first response that appeared in her mind.
"I…."
Before Rose could respond to Trixie, she heard a faint but familiar sound. Sniffing, A constant and unnerving sound for her. The sound had some distance to it. Yet, it still sounded rather close to the duo. Rose thought it was a figment of her nervous mind. Returning to a trauma newly unearthed. But her worst fears were soon confirmed. Trixie's felt ears were just as perked as hers. For a moment, the sniffing died down. A second of calm before an oncoming storm. That calm was broken by a light blue hue. Peppered with smaller, orb-like shadows covering the duo. Both of them immediately knew what was behind them. Not even attempting to bink. The two were currently in the presence… of an ursa major.
AN: I apologize profusely for the mass delay on this chapter and the next one. Working has taken up a majority of my time. Plus, whenever i do add to this story. I want it to be the best i can possibly give. I'm proud of this one and the upcoming other chapters. Hope yall stick around for the rest!
Thank you for reading
Mysterypen.