Hey guys! Sorry for the delay, I had slight problems with my PC, however, here it is, Chapter 17! It's the last chapter before the next arc, so heat up your popcorn, because we're up for a fast, hardcore ride.

Als, before we begin, there is a certain matter I'd like to touch. I know this might be awfully bold and cocky of me, but I was wondering if any of you fine people would be willing to give turning this story into a manga a chance. I would probably piss myself if I saw some of this story's moments on paper, and some of the fight scenes would make much more sense when drawn. I have no money to spend, so it would be a voluntary work, that's why I said I might come off as an ignorant bastard. This was just a thought I had one sleepless night, so if you're not interested, feel free to ignore this note and proceed with the chapter. If you are, however, then feel free to ask me for details in private messages. I answer them all.

Update: I have to apologize. It appears many of you are disappointed with the title of this chapter, or rather the lack of any connections to the contains of the chapter. I had some Gildarts/Natsu scenes planned out, but I've pushed them aside for the time being. They will be used in later chapters. So, if you feel like I've failed you, forgive me.

The title has been changed to "Struggle", which I think is a much better fit than the original title. Once again, sorry, and don't worry - you'll get your Gildarts greatness very soon. /End.

For now, enjoy the chapter!

Afternoon of December 21st, Fairy Tail Guild

The second half of December looked exactly like its first, with each passing day being colder than the last one. Most of the town was covered both in snow and Christmas decorations, which was basically knocking on the door.

Despite that, many people could be seen running through the town, all of them dosing a familiar mark of Fairy Tail, each of them with a sheet of paper in their hands.

Wendy, who was one of the few who stayed in, wondered what was all the commotion about. She already asked the more experienced members, but all of them simply smiled at her, tousled her hair and told her to "wait until tomorrow". Tired of being treated like a kid, she decided to seek help of someone she knew wouldn't treat her the same way.

Wendy spotted alone Lucy at her team's usual hang out spot. She was reading a magazine with a slightly troubled face, some would even say annoyed. This was an unusual sight, but what was even more unusual, was Erza sitting by herself couple tables away, her face twisted in a small scowl, her hands crossed on her chest, with a pile of books placed in front of her on the table. If she hadn't known her, she would have thought the knight was sulking.

Processing the sight and hesitating for a while, Wendy shook her head and decided to suck it up and simply ask the girls what was troubling them, one by one. She's been told to practice her confidence, after all.

"Hello, Lucy." smiled Wendy after walking up to the table.

The blonde didn't seem to register the young Dragon Slayer's presence for a while. She frowned and lifted her head up to meet Wendy's eyes, her face relaxing as soon as she did.

"Oh, hey, Wendy." said Lucy, a small smile forming on her face. She closed her lecture and straightened her back. "What's up?"

Sighing in her mind, Wendy took a seat right beside Lucy.

"I wanted to ask you something." she said truthfully.

"Shoot." smiled Lucy.

Wendy blinked. "Are you sure? You looked slightly troubled a moment ago."

"Hm?" hummed Lucy. "Oh. Don't mind that. Team problems." she waved her hand with a grin. "Well? What did you want to talk about?"

"I was just wondering if you knew what was happening in the guild for the past few days. Everyone seems to be in a rush, they all race each other and nobody wants to tell me why."

Lucy's smiled paled. "Sorry, but I'm in the dark just as you are. Even my own team doesn't want to tell me what is happening." she sighed. "I guess all we can do is wait for tomorrow."

"I see." Wendy sighed. "Speaking of Erza..." she started and slowly shifted her eyes at the redhead. "Did something happen? Both of you looked troubled, almost like it was connected."

Lucy's smile was now completely gone. She stared at the Slayer for a while, before sighing and looking away.

"I guess the tension is getting to everyone. Nothing you have to worry about. I'm annoyed by Erza, and Erza is annoyed by...well."

Wendy blinked. "By what?"

"Apparently, Erza was teaching Natsu how to read, and since she has little to no teaching skills, it didn't take long for him to start skipping their lessons. Under normal circumstances she would have hunted him down and forced him to sit with her, but since he is slightly above her….well, she's not taking being told no too well. So, because of that, she takes it out on me and Gray, probably without realising it." explained Lucy.

"I see." sweatdropped Wendy.

"Erza's been teaching someone how to read?" asked a loud voice behind her.

Wendy turned around, only to see Mirajane standing behind her, with a surprised frown glued to her face.

"So I've heard." replied Lucy. "Why?"

Mira snorted and sat beside Wendy. "I just find it funny, that's all."

Lucy's face darkened. "You know where he comes from. I don't think laughing at him-"

"I wasn't talking about him." retorted Mira truthfully. "I just find the idea of Erza teaching someone how to read comical. She's barely literate as it is, she's probably using it as an excuse to practice herself, hence her reaction."

Lucy's jaw almost met the table. "You serious?"

"Dead serious." smirked Mira. "Try making her read something that has more than six letters per word and enjoy the show."

Lucy put up her hands defensively. "I enjoy living, thank you very much."

Mira clicked her tongue. "You're no fun." she said before snatching Lucy's glass and gulping it down in one go. The blonde noticed that she did it with her left hand.

"How's your hand?" she asked with concern.

Mira looked at her and then shifted her eyes at her right hand. "Better, I guess. I've been told to avoid using it too much during the day, it's being put through hell during rehab as it is. I can't do most of usual daily tasks" she then suddenly punched her left hand and smirked "but I can still clobber someone when I have to. That, I have no problems with."

"Why doesn't it surprise me?" deadpanned Lucy.

Wendy couldn't help but laugh. Figuring out that there was nothing else to do during the day, she decided to take the first step and ask them something.

"Seeing all these people running around on jobs made me wonder." she started. "How about we went on a job as well?"

Lucy looked at the girl, surprised. This was definitely a first one.

Before she could answer, however, she was interrupted from behind by someone else.

"Going behind my back once again?"

Wendy cringed at the sound of the voice. Feeling like a scolded puppy, she slowly turned around and looked at the floor.

"Carla..."

"Don't even start." repeated the tubby, her paw raised in front of her face. "I've already told you, you won't go anywhere without me for a long time. Not after what you did last month."

Wendy groaned. During their mission at the Tower, Carla was on a long mission with Alzack and Bisca, one she'd returned from one week ago. After finding out what happened during her absence, she started controlling Wendy even more, if that was even possible. Besides, it's not like she wanted to go somewhere without her.

"But I didn't go there out of my own will..." repeated herself Wendy for the tenth time. "Master chose me. They needed me there! I didn't even go inside!"

"That's the only redeeming quality of that incident." shot her down Carla. "Besides, even if you wanted to pick something, the board is already empty."

Wendy looked at the request board, only to confirm the Exceed's words. It was completely empty, with pins and ripped pieces of paper being the only things that decorated it.

"Can't you just tell me what the hell is going on?" moaned Lucy to Mira, who smirked devilishly and shook her head.

"Not a chance."

Groaning, Lucy turned away from Mirajane in mocked anger and spotted Gray, who had just entered the guild. As he used to for the past few weeks, he had an unpleasant scowl glued to his face. Truth to be told, it appeared to worsen over time, if that was even possible. He met her eyes with his and made his way across the guild in her direction.

"Hey, Gray." greeted him Lucy when he walked up to their table.

Gray nodded in response, his mind focused on something else. "Mira, can we talk?"

"Sure. I got nothing to do anyway." sighed the Demon.

Suddenly, all women got startled when Gray smacked a glass bottle onto the table, setting it just before Mira, who looked at him questionably.

"Can we talk?" he repeated, this time heavily implying it was much more important than a friendly chat.

Mira frowned. He looked troubled, no, even more than that. Desperate was the right word. Not to mention his sudden out of character will to spend the day with a glass in his hand – he rarely touched liquor.

"Did something happen?" she asked him with unusual concern.

Before Gray could reply, he was cut off by the sound of painfully loud bells, loud enough to hurt ears of normal humans, let alone those with enhanced senses like Wendy, who clutched her head and grimaced from pain.

"What the hell is that sound?!" asked Lucy.

As soon as she asked this question, something fell from above and crashed into the nearby table, reducing it into a pile of splinters and dust. Natsu, who'd been hiding right under the roof, fell off his seat and crashed right into the middle of the hall. He got up and massaged his aching head, at the same time grimacing from the sound of the bells.

"The hell?" he groaned.

"Natsu!" roared Erza.

"Oh shit." he cursed under his nose. "Yo, Erza. I was just about to come to you-"

"No, you weren't." she cut him off with a sharp tone. If looks could kill, she'd be a murderer now.

"No, I wasn't." he admitted. "Anyway, what's up with all that noise? All the bells in the town are ringing."

"Could it be?" asked Gray, directing the question to Mira.

"Right about time he showed up." she smirked. "Bastard always likes to make an entrance."

"The manliest man in Fairy Tail is coming!" roared excited Elfman from back of the hall.

Not just him, most of the members gathered at the guild expressed their joy in screams and toasts. Those, who have left on a mission not so long ago were now back at the guild, speeding through the door one after another.

"What the hell is going on?" asked confused Lucy once again.

"It's Gildarts." explained Erza.

"Gildarts?" repeated Lucy. "I don't believe I've met him. Who is he?"

"He's the strongest mage in Fairy Tail. The fact you've never met him is not surprising – he spends most of his time outside of the guild." added Gray.

"Strongest in Fairy Tail?! You mean he's stronger than you and Mira?" asked shocked Lucy, directing the question to Erza.

"I can't hold a candle to him." the knight shook her head with a smile.

"What kind of a monster is he?!" sweatdropped Lucy. It was hard to imagine someone this superior.

"Why is everyone celebrating?" threw in curious Wendy.

"You know how there are S-Class Quests, right?" started Gray. After receiving a nod from the girl, he continued. "Above those, there are SS-Class Quests. They are S-Class Quests, that have not been completed in over a decade, and thus obtained the rank of SS. We call them Decade Quests, because nobody could beat them in 10 or more years. Gildarts specializes in something even higher – Century Quests."

"You mean nobody completed them in 100 years?!"

"Exactly." confirmed Erza with a smile. "It's been three years since we've seen him last time, hence the excitement. If you ask me, his return is rather late. Knowing him, he'd completed the quest in a month and spent the rest of the time wandering around."

"You didn't tell me there was something above S-Class jobs." said Natsu to Erza. "Let's go on an SS one tomorrow."

"Absolutely not."

While Natsu was arguing with Erza, the sound of the bells slightly died down, and was now replaced by a loud voice.

Attention, residents of Magnolia! The city will be now changing to Gildarts Shift! I repeat, Magnolia is changing to Gildarts Shift! All residents, please head to the designated areas!

"Aren't they exaggerating a little?" asked Carla.

"Gildarts Shift? What is that?" added Lucy.

Mira smirked. "See for yourself." she said and gestured to the balcony.

Curiosity taking the best of her, Lucy climbed the stairs along with Wendy and Carla. After getting there, she felt her jaw fall to the floor.

The entire town was now shifting. Giant chunks of the town were switching places with each other, almost like a puzzle. After a while, the entire town has been reconstructed, with a long, straight path running right in the center, that led from the entry gates to the guild hall.

"What the hell is happening?!" exclaimed the blonde.

"Gildarts uses Crash Magic." explained Erza from behind her. She watched the spectacle with amusement. "He is capable of destroying entire buildings with a single touch, even against his own will. He could level down an entire neighborhood if he got lost in thoughts and walked right through it. The town has been rebuilt and designed to prevent that from happening, so that every time he entered it, he could walk right through it without any consequences."

"This is the most Fairy Tail sounding thing I have ever heard." deadpanned Lucy.

"I find it amazing!" added excited Wendy. "Right Carla?"

"Yes. Amazingly unprofitable."

Couple minutes later, a tall, male figure walked into the guild. His body was covered with a dark, torn cloak, his orange hair pulled down behind his head, exposing the entirety of his forehead. He adjusted the bag hanging over his right shoulder and looked around the guild with confused eyes and frowned.

He spotted Erza and company, who have just walked down the stairs and approached them.

"Excuse me, miss." started Gildarts. "If I recall correctly, this is where the Fairy Tail guild used to be."

"It still is." replied the knight with a smile. "And I'm Erza, by the way."

"What?" he asked surprised and covered the entirety of her figure with his eyes. He remembered her to be much more rough-looking the last time he'd seen her. "You sure have grown up a lot! So, this is the guild? Have you redecorated?!" he added with an excited voice, now taking in the interiors of the hall.

"You mean he didn't notice from outside?" sweatdropped Lucy.

"You sure haven't changed, old man." grinned Gray.

"Hey, Gray. Looks like you did some push-ups when I was gone." laughed Gildarts and tousled the Maker's hair, who playfully punched his arm away. "Man, it really changed around here. I can see lots of familiar faces" he said, as he looked over his "kids" with proud eyes "and few new ones." he added. His eyes fell on Natsu's and his face changed. "Oh?" he hummed under his nose.

"Gildarts!" called a voice from the bar counter.

The man turned around and smiled dearly at the sound of his Master's voice, before walking up to him. "Master! Long time no see!"

"It certainly has." nodded Makarov. "So, how was your mission?"

Gildarts wondered for a while, before bursting out in laughter. Already knowing the answer, Makarov lowered his head, his smile gone.

"I didn't make it. I'm not cut for it." he said and scratched the back of his head.

The guild was shocked.

"Gildarts didn't complete a request?!"

"He quit?!"

"Even the old man is not enough for that quest?" wondered Gray out loud.

"Knowing when to give up is a part of being a man." said Elfman with a reassuring nod.

"Even the strongest mage in Fairy Tail failed?! Just how dangerous is that quest?" wondered Lucy in the thoughts.

"A Century Quest, eh?" whispered Natsu.

"Don't even think about it." shut him down Erza before he could even expand the thought.

"So not even you were enough..." sighed Makarov.

"Sorry, it will probably bring down our reputation..." said Gildarts with a small bow.

"Don't worry about it." Makarov waved his hand. "I'm just glad you've come back. You're the first one to get back alive, after all. Just seeing you in one piece is enough."

Gildarts snorted and put his hand on his stomach. "One piece, huh?" he questioned to himself. "That reminds me – I'm starving. How about we sit down I'll tell you everything about it?"

"It would be my pleasure." smiled Makarov and gestured at the seat beside him. "Listen up!" he yelled suddenly. "I know you have tons of questions, but for the time being let the man rest! There's going to be tons of time to catch up!"

Grunts of disappointment filled the hall.

"Quit it." commanded Erza. "Let's respect his wish and let him rest. There will be time for stories later, right now, focus on what you have to do today."

As soon as they were reminded of their tasks, the guild has once again been emptied, with barely anyone remaining. Those, who have stayed, walked back to their tables. Instead of going back to his earlier spot, Natsu willingly sat down with Erza and started his lessons. He made incredible progress in the last two weeks, despite Erza's unusual teaching methods.

Gildarts put his bag on the counter and plopped on his seat. He let out a tired sigh and reached out to his glass, already filled by Lisanna.

"So." started Makarov. "What really happened?"

Gildarts emptied his glass in one go and put it down on the counter. "I'll get to that in a moment. Before that, would you mind explaining to me why is a certain someone walking around with our mark?"

Makarov raised an eyebrow from behind his mug. "Do I sense hostility?"

"No. I trust your judgement. I'm simply surprised someone with his reputation is in our guild, instead of a cell."

"It's a long story, one I will tell you after you tell me why you have a prosthetic leg."

Gildarts laughed out loud and slapped the counter, cracking it in the process. "Did you figure it out because you saw me wearing two different shoes?"

"Partially."

That made Gildarts laugh even louder. Once he calmed down, Lisanna put down a mug of beer in front of him. After thanking her, he took a sip and began his story.

"I didn't fail the quest because of its difficulty. It was hard, but manageable. I was interrupted by a third party, one I could never deal with in my life."

"Is it safe to presume it wasn't human?" asked Makarov.

"It is. I was interrupted by a dragon."

Makarov's eyes widened. "A dragon?!"

Gildarts nodded. "Yeah. A big, mean, black as death dragon. They say dragons are intelligent, yet this one attacked me on sight. Talking to it wouldn't make any difference. Before I realised, he took my left arm and leg, along with some of my organs. They barely put me back together in a nearby town."

"Are you sure of its color?" asked Makarov, earning him a confused look from Gildarts.

"Yeah, no mistake about that. Why?"

"While you were gone, our guild obtained three more Dragon Slayers, each of them raised by a dragon. Since the color doesn't match any of them, I think it's safe to assume it was a completely different dragon." explained the elder.

"Three?! Then how many of them do we have now, four?"

"Correct." nodded Makarov. "Where have you encountered that dragon?"

"Saint Mt. Zonia. It's probably gone by now. If you ask me, it roams the world and appears only when something piques its interest. I don't know about dragons of those kids, but this one is definitely an enemy of humanity."

Makarov frowned. Although he'd never doubted the words of his kids, hearing that dragons were in fact alive and roaming the skies was simply shocking. Even though this information itself could be considered good, he had no heart to share it with Natsu, Gajeel and Wendy.

"Enough about me." Gildarts knocked the elder out of his thoughts. "Did I make in time?"

It took a second for Makarov to click. "Yes, I'd say you're just in time. We will announce it tomorrow. Then again, are you in shape to do your part?" he finished with concern.

Gildarts caressed his bandages torso and smiled lightly. "I would gladly get rid of this constant aching, but other than that, I'm fine. Even weakened, I'm still in shape to knock those kids around if needed." he finished with a laugh and took another sip of his beer.

Makarov chuckled as well. "I think this year you might have to put more effort into it. The guild has grown quite strong over the last three years."

"I believe it." said Gildarts while looking at something. Makarov curiously turned around, and followed the man's eyes. His old irises laid on the back of Natsu's pink head.

"Since we're already familiar with the next topic" said Makarov, his voice much quieter "there's a certain favor I'd like you to carry out."

Natsu turned around in his seat. With Makarov changing the volume of his voice, he was now unfamiliar with the current topic of their discussion. He turned back around and frowned at his book. So there were other dragons in the world. It wasn't Igneel, but it was definitely a clue, even if the dragon itself was a hostile piece of shit. With a strange feeling building up in his gut, Natsu raised his fist and clenched it in front of his nose. There was still hope.

"Are you listening to me?" asked him annoyed Erza.

Brought back to earth, Natsu relaxed his hand and looked at her, also annoyed. "Are you? I've asked you three times why we have to do it in here, and you still haven't answered me."

"Because I thought it'd be obvious." sighed the knight. "It's to open you up to the people. You can't talk only to me and treat others like air, even your team. If you act like an animal, people will treat you as such."

"I never said I had problems with the people." said Natsu. "Frankly, I spend quite a lot of time in the hall, even when there are people around."

"Yes, on the other end of the hall. Alone."

Natsu groaned and looked back to his book. He was too proud to tell her he found the idea of learning how to read with so many people around embarrassing. Have they been alone, he'd cause no trouble. In fact, all of their lessons took place in private, and he was more than fine with that.

"Why the sudden change anyway?" he asked her. "We've been doing it in private for so long, are we now gonna start doing it in front of the others as well?"

Couple tables behind them, Cana spat out her drink and started laughing out loud. Erza's face started to match the color of her hair. Even Lucy snorted into her hand. Natsu looked around, oblivious to what he said just sounded like.

"You sure act fast, Erza." mocked her Mirajane.

"Who would have thought?" joined in Lucy. Lately, Mira's indecent behavior was starting to rub off on the blonde, much to Erza's dismay.

"Did I just hear something?" asked Erza rhetorically, her aura emitting flames.

"Oh, she's mad." laughed Cana. "That's one of the main giveaways, you know."

Erza sucked her breath in and turned back around to her books, dictating Natsu the number of the next chapter in the meantime.

While Mira continued to laugh at Erza, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked up, only to spot Gray standing right behind her. He shook the bottle in invitation and raised his eyebrow. "Well?"

The Demon sighed. "Fine. Let's go somewhere less cramped."

"Where are you going?" asked them Lucy.

"Sorry, Lucy. Private stuff." said Gray in farewell and left the table with Mira by his side.

"I'm getting sick of all these secrets." sighed the blonde. "Should we go somewhere? It's still bright outside, and it's not like we'll do anything productive today." she asked Wendy.

The girl beamed and eagerly nodded. "Yes!"

"Okay, then. Go get dressed and I'll wait for you." smiled Lucy. Once Wendy ran to get her coat, she turned to the nearby Exceed. "What about you, Carla. Are you coming?"

"Of course." replied Carla. "I'd rather not get too far from Wendy, I've been away from her for too long already."

"It's not like we were going to repeat that, you know." sweatdropped the blonde, but dropped the subject.

Shortly after, Wendy walked back to the table, now clad in her blue jacket and white gloves. "I'm ready!" she announced happily.

Lucy laughed at her eagerness. "Okay, then. Time to hit the city!"

An hour later

With all hype settled down, the guild was now once again almost empty. After reporting to Makarov and getting something to eat, Gildarts headed to his home, his mind focused on his bed.

Natsu and Erza have also left the guild, both of them headed to their training grounds. Lately, they started to spar with each other, which usually lasted half a day.

Lucy and Wendy were still gone, both of them warming themselves up in a cafe on the other side of the town.

The guild was now basically empty, with Gray, Mirajane, Lisanna and Cana being the only ones in the building.

"So that's what's been bothering you." hummed Mira while pouring herself a new drink from the almost empty bottle. "That explains why you look like you're constantly sniffing shit."

Gray didn't react to this poor attempt of a joke. Instead, he focused on his glass. After throwing all of his burdens at Mira, he felt even worse than before, the complete opposite of what he'd expected.

"I can't sleep. Every time I manage to drift off, I can see it, bright as light. It's almost like I keep reliving it over and over again." he said quietly.

Mira looked at him. She couldn't blame him for feeling this way, hell, he was taking it much better than normal people would. Still, seeing him like this was beyond annoying.

"I still fail to understand why you came to me with all this." she said truthfully.

Gray looked at her. "I thought you could relate."

Mirajane blinked. She put down her glass harder than intended and leaned in against the table. "I get it now. You didn't come here to share your problems with me. You're here to learn how I'm dealing with this stuff. Am I right?"

Gray lifted his eyes to meet hers. Oh God, his face was so punchable now. Restraining herself for his own good, she simply watched him nod slowly, before his eyes landed back on his hands.

Mira sighed. "Fine. Though I probably won't be of any help to you." She took a sip and continued. "I don't regret killing him, if that's what you want to know. I didn't plan to, but that's how things turned out. And I sure as hell am not gonna beat myself up over it."

Gray sent her a look, one that possibly expressed disgust. She caught it and expanded her point.

"I'm not happy I did it, if that's what you're worried about. But I am glad I did. If I hadn't done it, I would be the one dead. He was trying to kill me since the very beginning, and I fought for my life. I ended up killing him instead. I did it to protect my life, you did it to protect someone else. No matter what I say to you, I can't relate to your situation."

Just like she said, this didn't help him at all. He simply couldn't relate. Maybe if he did it in a different situation, he wouldn't feel as bad as he is right now?

"The better question is" said Mira and pointed at him with her finger "do you regret doing it?"

Gray frowned. "What?"

"Do you regret killing that bitch, who was trying to cut your friend's throat?" asked Mira, her tone growing more stern.

"No." he said shortly. "It's just...I can't even describe it. I can't find any words to do it."

"Then don't." she commanded him. "Suck it up. Live with it. Realise, that what you did brought more good than harm. Realise, that if you hadn't done that, Lucy would be dead. Focus on the good side of your sin. Stop being so damn miserable, you're a man, aren't you?

He looked away. He knew all of that already, he just didn't know how to embrace it. He was never good at hiding his feelings, a trait Erza reminded him of many times in the past.

Seeing that it was futile, Mirajane sighed and leaned back. "If you really have to ask a specialist, I say do it. You won't be able to take the exams at this rate."

Gray raised an eyebrow. "A specialist?" he asked her with disbelief. "The hell are you talking about?"

"I'm pretty sure you have someone on your team who can help you more than I can."

Realisation hit Gray as hard as a hammer. "No way I can talk to her about that." he said defensively. "I don't want her to remember all of that."

"I wasn't talking about her." shot him down Mira, sending him a suggestive look.

This time it took slightly longer to click. "You serious?" he asked her, not sure whether he heard her right.

Mira shrugged. "I'm confident enough to say he's the most experienced member of the guild, at least in that regard. Who knows, maybe he can help you. Maybe he will find a way to tell you the same thing I've just told you, only more effectively."

The Maker continued to stare at the woman in disbelief. Was she actually serious? He'd never thought about that. Although, no matter how ridiculous that sounded, he'd be a liar if he said it didn't make sense. Still, approaching someone he barely knew with a topic like that was simply uncomfortable.

"Or" continued Mira "you can continue being a miserable bitch and fail the exams at the very start. Guilt and self blame are heavier than any rocks, I know that all too well. But don't expect me to go easy on you because of that. I will grind you into the ground and fail you before you even realise it."

She stood up from her seat and stretched. Just when she was about to leave, she walked up behind Gray and put her hand on his shoulder.

"I don't want that to happen." she whispered, her voice much softer. "Stop being stubborn and let someone help you. You don't damage your pride by asking for help - you do it by rejecting those close to you."

Gray lowered his head and clenched his fists. In her own, messed up way, she knew how to get to someone, no matter how rough she was.

"That is the lesson this big sister is going to give you." she grinned and walked away, leaving Gray alone with his thoughts.

However, unlike before, he finally knew what to do.

Another hour later, fields outside of Magnolia

Gray walked through the dark forest, the moon lighting up his path rather nicely. He pulled frozen branches out of the way and spotted a massive plain just outside if the forest. According to Lisanna, this is where they held their training sessions, although even without her directions he'd know it. The ground was severely scorched and sliced - it looked like a battlefield.

"Yo." called a voice. Gray looked to his left and spotted Natsu, whose back was against a tree.

The Maker walked up to the Dragon Slayer, looking around in the meantime. "Is Erza here?" he asked him.

"She went to the town to get some water." replied Natsu. "She should be back in a moment, though, I can still smell her. Why?"

Gray sighed through his nose and sat beside Natsu, much to his surprise. He instinctively moved to the side, although not much. Gray didn't seem to care, as he simply planted his back against the tree and looked up into the sky.

"Can I ask you something?" he broke the silence after a while.

Natsu arched an eyebrow. "Sure."

Gray took a deep breath and met his onyx eyes with his. "How can you live with yourself?" he asked in a calm voice.

This question sounded so wrong, so rude, and yet so adequate. It perfectly fit the theme of his problem. Natsu frowned at this question and searched Gray's face, looking for any kind of giveaways dictating this was a joke, an insult or something completely else.

"What?" he asked him, confused.

"You've killed people. How can you live with that?"

Natsu's frown relaxed. He was starting to connect the dots.

"Is this about Jolene?" he asked the Maker quietly.

Gray cringed at the sound of the woman's name, which confirmed Natsu's suspicion.

"Even her name makes me shake." said Gray with a forced smile. He once again looked into the sky. "Ever since we got back, I felt like shit. I see her every time I close my eyes, her eyes losing color, her voice trying to desperately come out of her throat. The sound she made when she dropped on the floor, lifeless. At the time I didn't give it a thought, I was too focused on the others. But once everything calmed down and I could finally sit down, alone, that's when it kicked in. Disgust. I was disgusted with myself, I could see her blood on my hands every time I looked at them. I know that if I hadn't done it, people close to me would have died. But that doesn't make it any easier."

Natsu listened in silence, letting the man let it all out. There were many levels he could relate to him on.

"I know I shouldn't, but I was listening to your conversation with Erza." he admitted, slightly shocking Natsu. "You felt the same, right? When you killed that Grigol guy. That's why I asked you how you could live with yourself. Because I know I can't. Somewhere deep inside, I hate myself, and no matter how many times I tell myself it was justified, I still hate myself. I'm a murderer."

Natsu's eyes were covered by his hair. He slowly stood up, much to Gray's surprise. Suddenly, he turned on his feet and landed a powerful left hook on Gray's right cheek, sending him flying through the tree he was resting under. The Maker rolled on the ground, before getting on all fours and coming to a halt.

"What the hell?!" he roared at the approaching Dragon Slayer.

"Do you hate me?" asked him Natsu.

Gray blinked in confusion. "What the-"

Before he could react properly, he was struck in the stomach, a nasty uppercut bending him like a pocket knife. Gray fell to his knees, unable to take a breath.

"Do you hate me?" repeated Natsu.

Gray looked at him with angry eyes, but didn't say anything. Natsu lifted his leg up and put his foot on top of Gray's head, grinding it into the ground.

"Do you want to kill me?" asked the Dragon Slayer, his foot still on Gray's head.

Gray's fingers curled up, snow and cold soil gathering in his grit fists. He moved his head to the side so he could talk and hissed through his teeth.

"No."

Natsu set his foot off Gray's head and stepped back, allowing the man to stand up. Just when he was about to speak out, he was interrupted.

"I tried to kill you a month ago." stated calmly Natsu. "And yet, you've found it in yourself to forgive me. I tried to kill you, again, and you still had it in you to not want the worst for me. If you can forgive someone like me, why can't you forgive yourself?"

Gray stared at the Slayer in shock, his mouth agape. What was he going on about?

"You're clearly haunted by what you've done. You're a kind man, Gray. The very fact you feel remorse proves you're human. Are you a murderer? Yes. But think about how you've become one, rather than the fact itself."

Natsu turned around and walked back to his spot. Although hesitantly, Gray followed him and sat under a new tree, his hands still on his aching stomach.

"There was an incident 5 years ago." continued Natsu. "I just got on Seven Commandments' tail. I was in the middle of destroying one of their guilds. I was doing great, nobody escaped, my mind clear, everything under control. And then, I noticed one of them carrying a slave girl in his arms. He threatened that if I didn't leave, he'd kill her. I started to panic. She was looking at me with hopeful eyes, afraid, fragile. When I met her gaze, something inside of me broke. I panicked. Without thinking I dashed as hard as I could and grabbed his face. I burned it. I kept burning it, even when his screams died down and the grip on my arm loosened. I let go only when his skin was sticking to my hand."

Gray listened to the story, disturbed.

"That was the first man I killed. At the time, I felt terrible. I couldn't look at him. But then I looked at the girl I just saved, and I started to tell myself - it was for her. I did it to protect her. With that in my head, I finished the job and walked away, only to then fall asleep and wake up couple hours later to continue my journey. I repeated this every time an accident like that happened. I did it for that, I did it because of this. Every time I doubted myself, I kept telling myself that there was a reason for what I did, no matter how loud the voices in my head, even though I knew damn well, that half of those incidents could have been resolved without taking a life."

He looked at shocked Gray, his eyes black as night. It took the Maker a second to realise he was no longer talking to Natsu, but Salamander.

"You asked me how I could live with myself. I had no other choice. I had a goal I had to fulfill, I had something that kept me going. I didn't like what I was doing one bit, but I didn't stop. I struggled and pushed through, because the only other option I had was death."

"Where are you going with this?" asked Gray, confusion taking control of his face.

"Hating yourself over killing someone is natural. There would be something extremely wrong with you if you didn't. Taking someone's life is the worst act a human can possibly commit. However, the circumstances that led to this sin matter. A lot." continued Natsu. "You did it to protect someone important to you. You did it, because you saw no other choice. You didn't do it out of hatred, greed or because you wished for it. You did it, because you saw no other way out of that situation. There may have been another way, one that wouldn't result in Jolene's death, but you didn't take it. You took what you had at the moment, and because of that, Lucy and Juvia are alive, while Jolene is rotting in the ground."

Gray looked at his hands. He opened his palms and took their full sight. This is what he's been telling himself for the past month, but it brought no comfort. Could he really learn how to live with this?

"People kill out of choice. They do it for fame, money, thrill, enjoyment, fun, duty, out of greed, jealousy, hatred. But sometimes, we don't get the luxury of choosing. When someone you hold dear, someone you love is about to die, you don't think about yourself, or your feelings. Your beliefs and rules don't matter, your code of honor no longer exists. You let your body move on its own, and later on deal with the results. Whether you fail or succeed, you're always left with that bitter taste in your mouth, but that's where the real battle begins. If you let it consume you, you'll be crippled. Forever." said Natsu.

Gray looked at him, his doubts slowly beginning to dispell. "How do I fight it?" he asked quietly.

Natsu returned the gaze, his eyes much softer than before. "You don't. You embrace it. You struggle. You learn to live with this weight on your chest and continue on with your life. Every time you start to doubt yourself, you remind yourself why you did it. For what purpose. You've dirtied your hands so that your friends could live. Those, who aren't ready to sacrifice something, can't possibly protect anything. Can't change anything. Because you did it, both of your friends are alive and well. So take it head on, accept what you've done, and if you can't deal with it on your own, ask others for help. Just like you're doing now." he finished with a small smirk.

His shell broke. For some unexplainable reason, the mental war he'd been fighting for the past month was slowly coming to an end. Natsu's point of view allowed Gray to see things from a different perspective, one he'd never come up with on his own. With the newly found resolve and will, along with a boost of confidence, he looked at the Dragon Slayer and smirked.

"I think Erza's company is slowly rubbing off on you." he teased Natsu. "I felt like I was talking to her male version."

Natsu grinned. "I guess I'm not the only one who noticed it, then. Well, she helped me as well. I guess what goes around comes around."

Gray wanted to laugh, but was stopped by his sore ribs. "Did you really have to hit me so damn hard, though?" he complained with an annoyed frown.

Natsu blinked and looked at him, his face stoic. "That was for eavesdropping."

Gray snorted. "Prick."

"Pervert."

With this exchange, both men continued to sit under the trees, their eyes glued to the sky. Unbeknownst to both of them, their conversation was overheard by a redheaded knight, who stood couple trees away, her back planted against the cold trunk. She stared at her feet, deep in thoughts. She lifted her right hand and examined it, before giving it a light squeeze.

"A choice, huh?"

December 22nd, Fairy Tail Guild

The next day was even more bizarre than the last week combined. Now, unlike previously, the entire guild was packed with people, all of them rambling to each other in excitement. The bar had been turned into a stage, with giant curtains covering its interiors. The request board has also been taken away, much to Wendy and Lucy's surprise.

"Are we having a festival?" asked Wendy, slightly excited at the thought.

"At this point, nothing will surprise me." said Lucy. "I'm just glad I'll finally learn the source of all this chaos."

"Yo!"

Both girls were greeted by a familiar voice from behind, with Gray approaching them. His face was relaxed and overall, he looked much better than yesterday.

"Hey." greeted him back Lucy. She then took in his sight and felt her eyes widen. "Did something happen? You look a lot...fresher."

Gray smirked. "Yeah, things changed. I thought it was about damn time I man up and stop causing problems to others. Sorry for being a dick over the past few weeks, by the way." he apologized to the blonde.

"As long as you understand."

"Aren't you supposed to say "No problem"?"

"I am, but that would be a lie."

Gray grit his teeth in mocked anger, before feeling a tap on his shoulder. He turned around, only to see Natsu's annoyed face.

"Can you at least tell me why you wanted me to be here so badly?" he groaned. "Especially when it's so damn crowded in here?"

"I dragged you with me, because I felt that you should be here." explained Gray. "I have this disgusting feeling you should be around when it happens."

Natsu frowned. "When what happens?"

"You'll find out in a moment, living torch."

"The hell did you just call me?"

Gray looked away from the Dragon Slayer, ignoring his question. Just when he did so, he spotted the curtains being lifted. A short moment, later, the guild was met with the sight of Makarov standing right at the center of the stage, with Erza, Laxus, Mirajane and Gildarts standing behind him.

At the sight of said mages, the guild erupted in even more cheers, if that was even possible. Makarov quickly raised his hand, signalising the guild to remain quiet. They complied almost immediately.

"Fairy Tail!" roared the elder. "As we have done for years, the time has come! I shall now announce the candidates for the upcoming S-Class Wizard Exams!"

The guild blew up once again. Gray smirked and punched his hand, icy mist coming out of his palm. "The time has finally come." he grinned.

Lucy stared at the stage, shocked.

"S-Class Wizard Exams?!"

End of Chapter 17. To be continued in Chapter 18: Partner

Sorry for cutting the chapter in such a way, but it couldn't be done better. Rest assured, yours truly has a gift for you all. Expect to see it in a couple days.

As you've probably noticed, we are entering Tenrou Arc in the next chapter. That also means I will be reaching out to canon material. Although my story will have tons of original content, some of it will be taken from the manga, so forgive me for repeating the scenes 1:1. Hell, even this chapter had scenes taken right out of manga.

I think I did an alright job with dialogue in this chapter. I wanted to show you guys more of Natsu's experience he gained during his "career". I also wanted to give Gray more focus, because to be fair, this story was slowly shifting towards Natsu and Erza, with everyone else being pushed to the sidelines. I hope I did an alright job with portraying his problems. If not, let me know what I did wrong in reviews. I read and answer them all. Most of them. Yeah.

That's it for now. See you soon!