Zuko woke with the start of someone who was dreaming of falling from a high height. He opened his eyes blearily, his content and exhaustion wanting him to sleep more. He decided to do just that, his arms acting on their own accord to attempt to get Katara even closer to him….
Except, she wasn't in his arms where she belonged. Startled, Zuko opened his eyes a little more, before blinking in shock at the warm furs he was wrapped in, far too warm to be found on any Fire Nation ship. He pushed the furs back immediately, his feeling of content disappearing in favor of a hardened and battle ready state of mind. Once he had abandoned the furs, Zuko decided it prudent to gather information before he wandered any further into possibly enemy territory. He looked around the room he was in and nearly gasped.
Instead of the familiar metal ship walls of his banishment he was surrounded by a wall of white. The wall was curved on all sides, forming a dome with a small fire pit in the middle and a low entrance on the opposite side he would have to crawl out of. There were more piles of furs on the floor, clearly sleeping room for more people.
I must be in one of the Water Tribes, Zuko realized. Nowhere else in the world was it cold enough to build igloos, after all. Katara has told him a few stories of her homeland, enough for Zuko to immediately put a name to the structure he found himself in. He looked around the room for some time, startled at just how small it was. These were the conditions the Fire Nation was forcing this once proud people to live in without their waterbenders.
Zuko started as a small figure crawled out from under one of the larger furs. She was very young, barely 5 if he was guessing correctly. He immediately recognized the girl's familiar hair loopies and huge, bright blue eyes. Katara.
There was no place for the Firebender to hide in this one room, but that didn't seem to matter as the younger Katara observed the empty furs around her with a disappointed look on her face. She showed no sign of seeing Zuko, and he might have thought her blind if he hadn't looked down at his hand.
Zuko has never visited the Spirit World (though he had been told Sokka had and that it was a long story), but he imagined this is what he might look like if he ever did end up there. His hands were hazy and had taken on an almost gray pallor. A quick test of his firebending proved he couldn't produce any flame. He relaxed at the realization that this must either be a vision from the spirits, or some kind of memory of Katara's. There seemed to be no immediate danger.
Katara looked around the empty igloo once more with a sigh. "They've gone fishing without me again," she said glumly. She grabbed a tiny parka from a pile by the door and quickly dropped to her knees to hurry out of the igloo, Zuko following behind her.
"Maybe I can catch them!" She exclaimed after looking at the position of the sun. It was still early, Zuko realized, even in a dream his senses told him it was barely dawn. The endless white tundra dotted with a few tents and igloos all looked the same to Zuko, but Katara clearly knew where she was going as she put on the mittens that had been hanging on a woven string from her parka sleeves and took off at a jog. She was short enough that Zuko was able to follow behind her at a walk as Katara unknowingly led him to an icy outcrop near the sea that was clearly being used as a makeshift dock with a few men preparing their boats for the day. She looked around for a moment before clearly spotting what she was looking for as she sprinted to a specific boat where two familiar but younger people were standing. Hakoda and Sokka.
Sokka was the first to notice her arrival. "What are you doing here?" He asked meanly. Hakoda, who had looked up when Sokka began speaking, immediately admonished the younger boy.
"Sokka, don't talk to your sister like that," he said sternly.
"But Dad," the younger warrior whined, his Wolf's tail quivering in frustration, "she's a girl. This is a men's fishing trip. Only for men." He puffed his chest up as he directed that last statement at Katara whose eyes flashed in indignation.
"Girls can fish too!"
"No they can't!"
"Can too!"
"Can not!"
"Can t—"
"Enough!" Hakoda yelled, tired of the siblings bickering. He looked to his daughter and softened his tone. "Katara, you know it's a tradition for boys to learn how to fish so they can present them to their intended one day as proof of their ability to provide for them." Zuko started at this information, fighting the spirit world blush rising on his cheeks. No wonder Katara looked so happy when I presented the fish to her.
Sokka's triumphant look didn't last long as Hakoda continued "Sokka has not yet caught one fish, so he needs to come with me and learn a little bit longer."
Katara's bottom lip clearly threatened tears as it quivered. "But I want to fish too!" She insisted. Hakoda didn't respond immediately as he looked to the sun's movement and took in the now almost deserted dock. It was clearly time to leave.
"Maybe when you're older," he said non committedly. Unseen by Hakoda, Sokka stuck his tongue out at her as he jumped in the canoe. Hakoda gave Katara a hug and patted her head before he joined his son in the canoe and they pushed off, quickly disappearing into the fog of early morning.
Zuko wanted to comfort Katara as she burst into tears, but he knew she couldn't see him. Luckily, another figure approached her, a beautiful woman with a similar looking hairstyle and the same blue eyes. The woman wrapped Katara in a hug as she continued to cry, unbothered by her tears. Zuko felt slightly awkward watching such a private moment, and was saddened at the thought that his own Mother had never really comforted him like that, too constrained by the expectations of court life and his Father.
"Why are you crying, my daughter?" The woman, now identified to be Katara's Mom asked. Kya, Zuko remembered Katara telling him one night.
Katara sniffled, "Dad and Sokka said only boys can fish, but I want to fish too!" She stomped her little foot to emphasize her point, and her Mom smiled.
"It's cold on the water sweetheart, I don't think you would want to go fishing out there anyway," the older woman smiled at her secretly, "but now the boys have given us this whole day to ourselves. What should we do?"
Katara frowned seriously, her tears drying up instantly now that her Mom had promised to spend the day with her. "Sokka says penguin sledding is for babies and he won't go anymore. Will you come with me?" Her big blue eyes were shining with hope. Her Mom easily gave in, taking Katara's smaller mittened hand in her own.
"Of course, I haven't been penguin sledding in ages!" She laughed. They both turned towards what looked like another indistinguishable part of frozen tundra to Zuko when it happened.
Katara, naturally walking on the side closer to the water, suddenly lost her footing on the icy ground and began to fall in what felt like slow motion, her hand ripped from her Mother's. Kyaーand Zuko unseenーboth reached out for her, knowing the waters were ice cold and children especially could die in minutes when being exposed to those temperatures, but their worrying seemed pointless as Katara put out her mittened hands to brace her fall, the water in her vicinity froze solid, and she landed on a solid block of ice instead.
Time seemed frozen for a second as Zuko watched a string of emotions cross Kya's face. Gratitude was one. Proudness was another. Horror was the last. As the panic clearly began to set in, Katara's Mom grabbed her daughter's hand and hauled her back on the mainland.
"Mommy, how do you think I did that?! Do you think I can do it again?! Maybe I'm like those Waterー," Katara was nearly babbling in her excitement before Kya cut her off by grabbing her shoulders harshly.
"Listen to me Katara," she whispered furiously, "you will listen to me as though your very life depended on it, because it does." Katara was silent, her blue eyes widened in shock at her Mom's harsh words. Knowing Kya's fate, the words sounded hollow to Zuko.
"You will never breathe a word of this to anyone. Anyone! Do you hear me?" Katara was silent for a moment, but her Mom would not let it lie.
"Answer me! Do you understand?" Kya commanded. Katara's face crumpled and she seemed to want to burst into tears again, but the seriousness of the situation seemed to be apparent even to her 5 year old brain.
"What about Sokka and Dad and Gran-Gran?" Katara asked desperately. Her Mom remained unmoved.
"I will tell them. You will say nothing. Now, do you understand?" Katara's bottom lip quivered as she nodded in response.
"I won't tell anyone but...can we still go penguin sledding?" Katara's Mom clearly wanted to say no, but one look at those bright blue eyes and she caved.
"Alright," Kya allowed. It was clear to Zuko that she was trying to hide her distress from her daughter, but Katara simply grinned in response, grabbing her Mom's hand and dragging her in the direction of another endless sea of white.
Zuko was the only one there to witness the small tear that rolled down Kya's cheeks as soon as her daughter's back was turned. He turned to head back to the igloo; he knew how this story would end.
The icy landscape seemed to dissolve under his feet as he walked. Slowly, the white snow began to bleed into the grey walls of the ship. Zuko blinked and found himself in his bed with the Katara of the present tucked into his side where she belonged. He simply soaked up the content of the bond for some time, looking out the porthole to determine it would soon be evening. Katara would need to leave his room before someone came looking for them.
He looked at her peaceful, sleeping face, remembering her childish tantrum from the dream. No, he thought to himself, I don't want to end this war. I need to.
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The sun was streaming through the windows at a very low angle when Katara woke up, letting her know it would soon be evening and that she would need to head back up to the deck for their arrival at port soon.
She blushed when she realized her bindings were still laying in a heap on the floor where she had discarded them earlier. She pulled the sheets further up so they covered her breasts, embarrassed now that she was no longer nearly mad with lust.
Hey, I really liked that view, Zuko protested. Katara nearly fell off the bed in surprise as she hadn't realized he was awake. She fought the urge to try and cover herself further and throw her arm across her clearly hard nipples showing through the silken royal sheets.
We don't have time for that, she protested lightly, I need to get dressed. We both do.
Get dressed then, Zuko gestured towards the pile of clothing, a small amused smile on his face, no one's stopping you. Katara blushed harder at the thought of walking across the room half naked and getting dressed in front of Zuko, even though she had spent their nap laying her naked chest on his. Zuko let his amused grin drop for a moment as he caressed her back seriously.
Are you not okay…with this? He asked worriedly.
"No!" Katara protested out loud, "It's just…" just what? She wondered to herself. The problem was not that she didn't feel comfortable exposing herself to Zuko, quite the opposite really. And she had loved what they had done earlier, to be honest. The bond seemed to like it too, the warmth between them was charged like she had never felt before. This level of the bond allowed her thoughts to almost bleed into his, and thoughts came far easier than words. Her awareness of Zuko felt like it had veritably doubled, and if she concentrated hard enough she could almost hear his heartbeat.
I think it will just take some getting used to, her thoughts revealed before Katara really knew how she felt about it. The thought rang true though. Katara had never been naked in front of anyone except her mother and Gran-gran, and that hadn't been in years. It would take time to get used to sharing such an intimate part of herself. She snuggled contedly into her Prince's chest with that knowledge as he rubbed her back with his ever-warm hands.
You were right about having to get dressed you know, Zuko thought bemusedly, even as he wrapped his arms tight around her waist to bring her closer to him. And you wanted to see if Aang wanted to go too, he reminded her.
Katara sighed at the thought of getting up, but she knew Zuko was right. Besides, it was nearly evening, and once night fell she would be able to sleep next to Zuko again.
With this realization in mind, Katara snuggled into Zuko's hard chest one last time before throwing back the covers before she could lose her nerve. She felt Zuko still next to her as she got up and fought to keep her arms at her sides as she walked to the pile of clothing.
I had a very...strange dream, Zuko thought to her. She turned to him in surprise, still shirtless as they stared at each other for a moment while they both processed what had just happened.
We don't need to be touching now! Katara realized. Besides being a huge advantage in battle, she liked the thought of being able to communicate with Zuko at all times. Though it might get kind of annoying sometimes...I wonder if there's any kind of range, she thought to herself. Zuko climbed out of bed to wrap his arms around her and Katara sighed in delight. The feeling of the warmth of the bond being able to wrap around her without clothes in the way was bliss.
Does it feel this way for you? She asked Zuko as her head fell back against his chest. She tilted her chin up slightly to give him access to lay soft kisses on her neck. If her eyes had been open, she would've caught him smiling widely.
Yes, he paused, it's almost…
Addicting, Katara agreed. She felt her whole body flush even more as Zuko began scattering the kisses slowly on her collarbone. Definitely addicting. She frowned teasingly as the kisses stopped and Zuko spun her around, holding her chin in place to look her seriously in the eye.
"Would you ever…" Would you ever want to try and...reverse it?
Katara thought about that. To be honest...I hadn't once thought of it. She blushed. Zuko shrugged.
Me neither...Don't you think that's weird?
Katara frowned in thought. If she was being honest, ever since I saw you in the cave...as soon as we touched...it feltー
"It felt right, like something you had been missing," Zuko finished. They stared at each other for a long moment, wishing they could just get back in bed and ignore everyone else. But that was impossible.
We'll have to find out more and talk about my dream later, he suggested, it really is getting late.
Katara looked reluctantly to the porthole to see that he was right; the sun was moving rapidly across the sky and starting to dip towards the horizon. She broke free of Zuko's hold to once again reach for her undergarments, but he stopped her before she could begin putting them on herself.
Let me, he suggested. Katara easily gave in at the chance to feel his hands on her body again, especially if they were to be separated once they reached the deck, so she handed him the garment, instructing him through their thoughts how to put it on her. This feels so nice, she couldn't help but tell Zuko with a blush. Katara was very used to doing things for herself and other people, constantly cooking and cleaning and picking up after the Gaang. It felt nice to just let Zuko take care of her, and he placed small kisses on her back and neck as he wound the garment around her. She melted into his arms until he finished with her bindings and turned to face him at the discontent she could suddenly sense from him.
Your dress is destroyed, he frowned, I don't like seeing you wear rags.
Katara bristled at the accusation that her Water Tribe outfit could be considered 'rags', but then she held her worn, blue dress out in front of her. The fabric was singed and ripped in several places, a few inches missing from the hemline and one of the sleeves. The fabric felt worn and rough against her skin. She sighed.
They'll have to do for now, I can't wear your clothes in front of everyone, she admitted reluctantly, even though that actually sounded like a very enticing idea. Katara pulled her blue tunic over her head to distract herself as Zuko pulled a shirt on himself.
"Listen," Zuko began, then he hesitated, I know I haven't been part of the group for long and I don't know how you guys usually do things but this is a big thing we're hiding from them.
Katara didn't respond for a moment, but she had been worrying about this for quite some time. Here on this huge, stolen ship, it was easy for her and Zuko to sleep in his room during the night and hide it. However, now that Aang had woken up it was only a matter of time until they were back to traveling and camping again, and there would be no way to hide her sleeping next to Zuko in tents and under the stars. She shuddered at the thought of going back to the cold emptiness the bond had been at the beginning of their journey on the ship.
In her mind, Aang's potential negative reaction was the biggest obstacle they needed to get around. Sokka might be seriously angry, but at least he doesn't have access to the Avatar State! She planned on extorting Sokka not to tell their father because, as relaxed as Southern Water Tribe traditions might be compared to their sisters in the North, Hakoda would still likely not approve of a relationship between his daughter and the Prince of the Fire Nation (at least, not until she had more time to convince him), especially if he knew of their bond and how it thrived on closeness.
Well, they wouldn't be able to stay on this ship forever. Appa hated being stuck at sea and the Warriors had a lot of preparing to do before the invasion. Her Father would no longer be an obstacle to her being with Zuko in the open. We'll tell everyone when we split up, Katara decided. Zuko's happiness at her answer rang through their newly strengthened bond, even if the reticent Firebender said nothing.
They had realized over the course of the last few weeks that the bond amplified existing emotions. Katara, a naturally caring person became even more caring and affectionate when it came to Zuko. On the other hand, the bond also amplified Zuko's existing possessiveness for his girlfriend ーnot that Katara was complaining. She loved when Zuko pulled her aside to remind her just who she belonged to….
Katara blushed. She was getting distracted and Zuko was clearly liking the direction of her thoughts a little too much. She grabbed his hand and started pulling him towards the door.
I know, that one was my fault but we really do have to go. Do we agree on the plan?
They both paused as they began heading into the more populated areas in the ship, looking at their joined hands. In mutual decision, they released their hands, then continued walking.
I don't care what the plan is as long as we can still be close, Zuko thought to her. It was nice to be able to talk about their bond without fear of being overheard or found out by holding hands.
They came to a stop in front of Aang's door where Toph and Sokka were already waiting.
"Thank the spirits you guys are finally here," Sokka said dramatically, "I'm starving!" The rest of the Gaang wisely refrained from responding as Toph pushed open the door to Aang's room without knocking.
"Look alive, Twinkletoes! We're going into town to find some dinner," Aang turned to face them as he clutched his stomach.
"Dinner does sound good," he said. Katara smiled at the fact that he was feeling well enough to eat.
"Great!" Sokka exclaimed, eager to get everyone moving so he could start eating. He handed a red headband with the Fire Nation insignia to the Avatar.
"What's this for?" Aang asked confusedly.
"Tie it around your head, it'll cover you arrows," Sokka instructed. Aang balked immediately.
"I'm not covering my arrows!" He protested. Sokka looked ready to go apoplectic and an equally hungry and angry Toph wasn't doing much better, so Katara stepped in.
"You guys go ahead, Aang and I will catch up," she said placatingly. Zuko dragged Toph and Sokka out of the room with a parting, see you soon, thought to Katara. Once she was alone with Aang, Katara sighed. She had a feeling this would be a hard conversation, especially considering what she was going to tell Aang about her feelings. This was the perfect opportunity, after all. Katara didn't know how much alone time they would have after they left the ship, and it was clear that would be soon if Aang was feeling well enough to eat and walk around. She needed to let Aang down gently and tell him the truth before she told anyone else.
She turned to face the younger boy with another deep sighーshe hated disappointing people.
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It was strange, with the bond now not restrained by touch, Zuko was forced to allow himself to get lost in thought so he didn't concentrate too much on what Katara was saying to Aang. He, Toph and Sokka were already in the marketplace, but the connection between them was as clear as it was when they were holding hands.
Of course, he also had to concentrate so the Waterbender didn't hear his thoughts about what he was going to buy for her at the market. Things can never be easy for me, can they? For once, Zuko had some luck as Aang's moodiness and Katara's subsequent attempts to make him feel better worked perfectly for his plans, and he now had a good amount of time to split off and find a gift without Katara being there. He hadn't yet asked Toph to be part of his plan, but Sokka unknowingly worked to his favor as he immediately took his own coins and ran frantically between the different stalls, barely trying one food before he was buying the next. Zuko watched him for a moment in slight disgust, then turned to Toph.
"You've got something on your mind, Sparky," she observed as they began walking along the rows of stalls. Zuko scratched the back of his head uncomfortably.
"Yeah...I wanted to buy something nice for Katara. Do you want to help me look?" Toph stared at him for a few seconds waiting for the Prince to realize where he had gone wrong with that question. Zuko rolled his eyes.
"I know you can't see, you knew what I meant!" He turned up his nose. "I guess if you don't want to help I'll just do it myseー"
"Oh, don't get your panties in a bunch hotstuff," the Earthbender interrupted, pushing past him. "I think I sense some clothing stalls this way."
Zuko followed after her (towards a fruit stall, but he supposed Earthbending senses couldn't always be completely accurate) with a resigned sigh.
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The sun had long set by the time the Gaangーsans Aangーhad made it back to the ship. Katara had eventually joined them, but she was quiet and contemplative. Her conversation with Aang did not go as well as she had hoped, and he had refused to understand the importance of keeping his identity secret so he could live to fight another day. Furthermore, Katara hadn't even been able to tell him about her relationship with Zuko. The young Airbender was still stuck on the part where she wasn't attracted to him.
To be honest, the thought of being with Aang had never really crossed Katara's mind. Of course, it would be nice to date the Avatar, and she had been told she would marry a powerful bender, but Aang was just...so young. Katara was sure he would mature a lot, especially after the war if everything went well, but she had never wanted to wait around for that eventuality, especially now that she was bonded to Zuko. Now that she knew what the bond felt like, now that she was so close to her Prince he was like an extension of her own heart, the thought of being with anyone else was just all wrong. She belonged with Zuko, no one else.
As Katara walked down the halls to Aang's room to drop off his meal, she allowed her chi to flow and reach out, extending her awareness as she searched for Zuko within the ship walls. The increased power of the bond powered by her shirtless tryst with her bonded allowed her the control she hadn't had before. The bond felt like an extension of herself that she easily bent to her will without having to think too hard about how she actually did it. Zuko was blocking her from his thoughts somehow, and she couldn't have failed to notice the large shopping bags he had come back with. She hoped he hadn't bought too much.
Finally, Katara stood in front of Aang's door. She knocked once to give him a second to turn her away, then opened the door, holding the tray in front of her like a peace offering. She immediately sensed something wrong.
The room was empty.
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Zuko lay in his bed waiting for Katara with an uncharacteristically large smile on his face. He thought he had made some very good selections at the market, and even though Zuko was the one who had asked Toph to accompany him, he was very glad she couldn't see everything he was picking out. It is quite nice to be able to pick out exactly what I want to see on her, Zuko thought satisfiedly.
The smile dropped from his face as his bedroom door burst open, he could sense it was a worried Katara before she even crossed the threshold. She fell into his open arms as he immediately stood from the bed.
Aang is gone. The blood went ice cold in Zuko's veins as he heard those three words. Before the Gaang had left the market, they had been warned by the townspeople about a storm rolling in. The boat was already rocking heavily where it was docked in response to the suddenly volatile seas. Zuko could only rub Katara's back as it was like a damn broke. She vented her frustration at Aang's insistence of his attraction for her, and how he refused to see that he didn't need to do everything on his own. She confessed how scared she was that the Avatar wouldn't accept their relationship, and how much it would hurt her to hurt Aang but that she was willing to do it to be with Zuko. She cried for only a few minutes, but to Zuko, standing there with the upset Waterbender in his arms, it felt like hours as he cursed the Avatar for being selfish and immature and upsetting Katara to the point of breakdown. He sighed as her tears finally slowed, then stopped.
We'll just have to look for him, thought Zuko determinedly. He didn't join Team Avatar for the Avatar himself to drown in a storm because of his own stupid sense of self-righteousness. He gently pushed Katara away slightly so he could look in her eyes. He kissed her deeply.
Everything will be fine. Go pack, I have a feeling we won't be coming back here.
Being given a goal seemed to rejuvenate the Waterbender slightly as she wiped her face and squared her shoulders. She gave him one last kiss before turning, presumably to pack and tell the others about their imminent departure. Once she had disappeared, Zuko looked around the room with a sigh. One of the outfits he had picked for Katara would've looked so good on her tan skin against the silky red sheets….
Focus, he thought to himself. First, they would find the wayward Avatar. Then, he would ravish Katara.
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Flying low above the water with his glider, Aang could barely hear the roar of the sea over his own pained thoughts. His lightning wound burned as though he had just gotten it with the strain of holding his body taught so he could fly. His thoughts swirled chaotically around his head, and he struggled to keep the pain at bay so he could focus.
Aang like to run from his problems. He could admit that, it suited him and his element. Dodging was the perfect tactic for someone so small and light, and he had learned that lesson quickly as he mastered air. In a situation like this, however, he liked to think he was running to his problems, not away from them.
Well, most of them, he thought to himself, thinking of Katara. If Aang was honest, he had loved Katara since the moment he opened his eyes and looked into her blue ones. She cared about him like no one else had, and believed in him unconditionally. She made him so happy, why couldn't she be happy with him?
His train of thought was cut off as the strain on his body finally proved too much and it crumpled without his consent. The moment he hit the cold and turbulent water it tried to pull him down as he fought upwards for air, holding onto his glider for dear life. His skinny arms finally found purchase on a piece of drift board as tears ran down his face, missing with the salty water and remaining unseen in the darkness.
No wonder Katara doesn't like me. I'm a failure, Aang thought strain of trying to save the world before he had really gotten a chance to experience it threatened to suffocate him. He drowned in his thoughts for some time, until a blinding white light burst from the clouds and shined down on his face. Aang squinted for some time as the ethereal face and white hair of the moon spirit slowly came into focus.
"Yue," he breathed feeling unimaginable guilt as he looked into her eyes and remembered her sacrifice, "I'm so sorry."
Do not be sorry, Avatar, the spirit said gently as she floated in her pocket of light. As Avatar, you possess the world's greatest gift, and that always comes with the world's biggest burden. It is easy to lose oneself, to selfishly want the world for one's own benefit. Do not fall prey to these thoughts, young Avatar, and never give up hope.
Aang floated on his drift board haven for some time as he contemplated Yue's words. Was he being selfish running away from his friends and making them worry for a fight he couldn't win in his condition?
Was he being selfish wanting Katara?
"I won't give up!" He decided. Aang didn't know the answer to his questions, but he knew he wouldn't find them in the middle of the ocean. He climbed onto the drift board, using it as a makeshift surfboard and propelling himself forward with Airbending.
That is, until a large wave swept over him, taking him under.
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Author's Note: How are we liking these POV switches? I'm not the biggest fan of Aang's departure in the show, though I like the parallel between him and Zuko and I like that it showcases his immature side. But this exact immature side is why I'm so opposed to Katara and Aang together.
We won't see much more of Aang POV, I'd imagine, though I can never be sure ;). In all seriousness though, we know how these episodes go. We know what the characters do. There is no need to re-do everything we see in the show because that would definitely bore me. Instead, I want to look at things we didn't see (like the trip to the market) and change (and maybe diverge from) canon to reflect Zuko and Katara's relationship as it is here.