Worship of the Gods
"What good is the warmth of summer,
without the cold of winter to us sweetness?"
John Steinbeck, In Search
Chapter Fifteen: Beneath the Idunn Tree
Mid-Morning
The Idunn Sanctuary
He said, "it's abstract."
Ellie supressed her urge to wretch. "It is foul."
Loki Odinson and Eurelia Adams stood in front of a rotten tree. Its roots were twisted like overgrown toenails. They shone with weeping rot that emitted a stench of the very bowls of a dead planet. Loki had taken her to the very core of the royal gardens and into a maze; or through a maze as he had managed to part the bushes with the twist of his hand.
That part still took her breath away. Well, that and the retched reek of the Idunn Tree. She nervously waited for him to stop grinning like a child who'd won a bag of sweets. "What are we doing, my Lord?" she near begged.
"This is one of the most sacred places in the Kingdom. It's the core of Aesir being."
"What?" she mustered. "The compost? Your insides look like a rotting tree?"
"No. It is an illusion for trespassers." He walked forwards. Ellie fought the urge to yank him back. The Idunn Tree evoked a fear she hadn't felt for some time. For a split second, she was on a dark bridge with a bleeding thigh and no clue what was happening. Loki turned; his back nearly pressed against the trunk of the slimy tree. "What does it make you want to do?"
She wrinkled her nose. "Hide. It makes me think of… those wargs."
"Yes, it is terribly inconvenient to outsiders," Loki said. "You see these?"
The prince pointed to a winged creature gripping onto a piece of rotten fruit. It was beautifully hideous.
"Is it a butterfly?" Ellie asked.
"If you like," he responded and reached a finger out to touch it. "It's dying. When it feeds on the Idunn Tree it spreads its pollen and nutrients. But the tree takes all it can and gives nothing back."
"That's vile."
Loki almost appeared offended. "No, it's not vile, Eurelia. It's nature. This universe is savage. A universe of things dying, or eating each other, all around us."
Ellie nearly stepped away. "There has to be more it than that."
"Beautiful things are fragile."
To understand this world, Ellie had to disregard the ways of her own. "You know, on Earth, we have these dark moths."
"They, too, are formidable creatures. Ugly, but necessary. Unlike butterflies, they thrive in the dark and cold."
"At least they don't eat a poisonous tree."
"No. They feed on something much worse."
The butterfly crept onto Loki's nudging finger. He turned his hand over, challenging the creature to crawl quickly onto a stable surface. With his other hand, he edged it to take flight. Ellie figured she knew the answer to her question the moment the animal spread its wings. "And what do moths feed on?"
"Butterflies, I'm afraid." A quip of contriteness hung in Loki's voice. He then exhaled, having watched the butterfly soar and disappear into the endless sky. "You ready? I'm going to expel the illusion. It might be better for you to close your eyes."
Ellie barely offered him a glance. "I don't want to close my eyes."
"You've just said it frightens you," he said. "You know, I close my eyes to things to I don't want to see."
Ellie looked back up at him, her face wonderous and demanding. "I want to keep them open."
Loki stared at her for several seconds, looking between each of her eyes like there was a secret buried in her words. She held his gaze. This was her life now. It was foul, but it could also be beautiful. Crossing her arms, she waited for him to finish analysing and downloading whatever information he was attempting to gain from her.
The rosary beads hung heavily against her wrist.
With the wave of a hand, Loki stepped forwards and allowed the Idunn to reveal itself.
The rot bubbled like a cooking stew. Each blister popped, splashing it over Ellie's feet. The ground sizzled. It began to groan and cry out like a dying woman. Fear flew up Ellie's spine, but she refused to step back or even look at the prince.
Above her, the branches melted and dangled into her hair. They were fingers of death which scratched her scalp and left wetness dribbling into her braids.
The very trunk of the tree opened like a mouth, spreading its dark lips wide. Inside, faces wailed at them. They begged them to join them in the land of the dead; join them where its warm and fleshy and whole. Loki, in his dark leather tunic, almost appeared to blend with the Idunn's rot. He was unbothered by the whole affair.
If Ellie wasn't so distracted, she would've been surprised that he didn't leap to protect his expensive attire from the foul liquid spewing from the ground.
Loki cast Ellie a perturbed glance, focusing on her clenched jaw and fists. Duping delight swam on his lips, knowing the human was filled with despair. However, she was keeping it under control. So much so, that Loki was losing the humour of it all. He sighed in frustration and exhumed the Idunn Tree of its illusion entirely.
The fingers disappeared from Ellie's hair. Rot didn't splash her tunic or shoes and the smell was gone. Instead, a something fruity and delicious filled her nose. She gasped, a hand shooting to her mouth. The Idunn Tree was not rotten, but beautiful. It was a wholly golden tree with shimmering leaves and golden apples which hung off its branches like tempting treats.
One hung in front of Ellie. She went to reach for it. Her rosary poked its red head out of her sleeve. She retracted her hand as if scolded.
The Idunn Tree's apples were like that of the Garden of Eden. And if this was, by some degree, inspiration for that very place, then she would not be tempted.
If Loki caught sight of her rosary, he said nothing about it. A heavenly voice stole any chance. From behind the trunk, a slender woman appeared. She was bewitching. With coiled hair that reached her feet in trailing spirals, her body rested beneath a silk material that was neither tight nor loose, but like a living entity that existed to ripple around her.
"Oh," she lured, "company. Sweet company all for me."
She slipped across the sprouted grass and the Idunn tree appeared to sense her movements for the branches tilted towards her.
Loki smirked. "Lady Eurelia, may I introduce the Goddess Iduna; guardian of the Idunn Tree."
"My lady," Ellie bowed, her cheeks tinted pink with embarrassment.
"A new royal to feast from my lovely tree?" Iduna peered. "Or, are you showing a plaything around your favourite spot?"
The playful demeanour took Ellie by surprise. Loki's face seemed to light up. Perhaps it was just the golden glow of the fruit. "It's only my favourite spot when you're involved," he said.
"Oh, you tempt my very heart, Odinson," Iduna said. "My lover would not be happy with your flirting."
Loki laughed. "How is he? I have not seen him since the Gudvangen market."
"He is well. He is content."
"How could he not be with you as his wife?" Loki said.
"On the Allfather!" Iduna's laugh sang through the air. She looked at Ellie with her brown eyes; so full and large. "Aren't his words delicate, Eurelia?"
"Only when he wants something," she said.
"Yes. Princes always get what they want. Thor has been pressing me for more of my apples; he believes it'll better prepare him for his role as King."
Loki hissed and crossed his arms. "Foolish lard. I pray you knew better than to listen to his begging."
"Always," Iduna coaxed. A butterfly flew onto her shoulder. It was no longer dark, but azure. "So, what is it you want?"
Loki informed Iduna of Ellie's path into magic. He disregarded the stone, her humanity and religion. It was enough for Iduna. Ellie figured she knew not to question the authority of any royal figure, unless it harmed the nature of her tree.
The goddess retreated towards the tree where she slipped behind the trunk and disappeared. A part of Ellie wanted to follow Iduna to see if she was simply hidden behind Idunn, but there was more than meets the eye on Asgard. If anything, Iduna probably dissipated in the air and lived between the Idunn's branches.
Loki took a seat in front of the tree and Ellie followed him. They sat with their legs crossed. The space between them was littered with wildflowers and long grass. With no wind, or any real weather except for sunlight, Ellie neither felt hot or cold. The Idunn tree appeared to exist in its very own bubble; except from Asgard's climate.
A branch dropped between Loki and Ellie. On it, hung a golden apple. Loki plucked it and turned it in his hands.
"These apples give the Aesir youth," Loki began. "It's how we live so long. Every year, there is a festival where Iduna's apples are consumed and celebrated. Beings like yourself cannot eat them or you will perish."
"What if you didn't eat them?" Ellie wanted to know how something as fragile as a fruit practically controlled the lifecycle of an Asgardian.
"It would take many years, but eventually we would age and die."
"Does that scare you? Knowing that your entire life relies upon Iduna?"
"My life relies on no-one." Loki clutched the apple tightly, his intense gaze boring into Ellie. "I am not afraid of death; I greet it as a friend."
"I…" she said. "Why are you showing me this?"
It took a while for Loki to return to the calm and collected man he was with Iduna. He was obviously annoyed by Thor's egoism with the Idunn apples and the cheek of Ellie for asking about death. Slowly, but surely, he relaxed into his story.
Ellie clasped her hands and watched Loki as he described his childhood. Frigga taught Loki, sensing a deep-rooted power within him from a young age. She had brought Loki to the Idunn Tree when he was a boy, using the flowers as practising pieces for his magic. He studied for hundreds of years, harnessing the old Norse and then being strong enough to perform incantations without a word leaving his lips.
It was common Asgardian knowledge that he was well-mastered in the arts of magic; but many saw it as an art of trickery. There was passion in his voice when he spoke of scaring his brother and the servants with snakes. Once he created an illusion of himself climbing the outside of the Northern Tower, which stressed Odin out so much he succumbed to his Odin-sleep.
After a long time, Ellie and Loki sat in silence. That was when Ellie noticed the noise of the Iduna Tree. It moved gently, making soft chiming noises. A harmonious calm spread over her.
Ellie peered at Loki, who was flexing his hands; making the grass curl. "How long did it take you?"
"The language? Days," Loki's face was thoughtful. "It's easy to copy a word. The true test is what your soul can bare when it feels the power of old Norse. Have you ever sensed there was something itching away inside of you? Like a creature in a cage?"
Ellie looked down and her eyes found the Rosary peeking out of her sleeve. "I don't know."
"Well, it's either yes or no, isn't it?"
"I've always felt God inside of me. It's like warmth through my body when I need him." Deep red crept onto her cheeks, fearing Loki's Asgardian judgement. "I mean, it's my choice. Everyone has free will. Why do you want to know?"
"I wanted to express my opinion on free will," Loki enquired, linking his arms behind him, "but I decided against it." Ellie looked up, a wry grin curling her lips.
"Was that a joke, your Highness?"
"Was it? How can we say I spoke at all?"
Ellie snorted, a raw, good-humoured laugh which erupted from the back of her throat. "Why are you getting all philosophical with me? I know you're just trying to… I don't know, coax me into doing magic which we both know I can't do."
Loki placed the apple down. It made an indent in the grass, spreading the wildflowers into a crown around it.
"I was always told a philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more, until they know nothing about anything."
Loki tilted his head, debating his answer. "At least you're aware your little Midgardian brain is as useful as mercury in a Dwarven forge."
Ellie would've liked to see a Dwarven forge. She had been read a story about dwarves once by one of the nuns. It was a tale set in a distant land where all sorts of creatures roamed mountains, fields and shires. The dwarves in that story were small and mighty; in search of their homeland and the slaying of a giant beast. But there had been an outsider who joined the dwarves. He was a timid, quiet thing who never wanted adventure. She couldn't quite remember his name or the story he became a part of.
Ellie hesitantly picked up the apple. Apart from its colour, it felt exactly like a Midgardian apple. She lifted it to her nose. It smelt like a Midgardian apple as well. Ignoring the temptation to take a bite, she held it before her and met Loki's intense stare. "God won't help me make this fly. I know this now."
The prince took the fruit from her and let it rest on his flat palm. Beneath the golden hue, Ellie stared at the creases in his skin. Magic rested in the very essence of Loki Odinson.
Raising her own hand, she traced the indentations of her hand. There were three lines and in them she held that same magic. With a calculated exhale, she straightened her back, so her core was aligned with the ground beneath. Tamra must've known all along that Ellie would end up learning magic. That's why she was pushing her to stretch, to breathe, to be at one with the world using her body.
Ellie visualised magic. It had to have a form in order for her to use it. She conjured up a vision of wispy, blue water in her chest. Thrice is swirled around her organs and between her ribs, sending a shiver up her spine. Upon command, the water wound along her collarbones and into her arm. It surpassed her rosary, rippling slightly under its constraint on her skin.
When the power reached her hand, it collided with the insides of her fingers; washing up like a wave against a wall. She clenched her teeth, staring at the apple. This power was hers. It was hers, not God's. Hers to control. A sudden, screaming prayer flew out of her soul: Heavenly Father, forgive me.
She flexed her fingers, disregarding the presence of her rosary all together and pushed the energy out.
The apple shot out of Loki's palm, ricocheting into his chest. He was knocked on his back with a grunt. Ellie gasped and shot to her knees.
"Oh, God! I'm sorry!" she said, reaching for him. "I am so, so sorry, your highness."
"Don't," he quickly said, edging away. Ellie looked over him in despair, fearing he hated her completely. The once she'd thrown a book a him, he'd managed to catch it but now, she'd wounded him.
"Gods, I am so sorry," she said again, unsure of whether to burst into tears of joy or self-hatred. "I used magic!" She spluttered another breath as her eyes began to water. "Me! I used magic!"
Loki scoffed, shuffling back into a sitting position. "And broken my ribcage in the process."
"Oh, did I? Did I really? I have a healing rune from the barracks. I mean, I was going to use it next time Gustav beats me in combat, but you should, uh, use it."
"No, not really you fool," he said, staring at her with… amusement?
Ellie snorted and slapped her hands over her face. "You're not angry. You're not angry because I used magic."
"Only for that reason," he said. "If you had failed, then you would be hanging from the gallows."
"I didn't think that I could do it," she guffawed. Her mind swam with a thousand thoughts, all of them racing through her like streaks of adrenaline. Pushing a hand through her hair, she nearly tangled her fingers in her braids. "I have to do it again. Now. Wait. Wait, I have…" The colour drained from her face. She peered up at the sky for a moment, calculating the time from the position of the sun as Tamra had taught her. "Shit," she finally hissed. "I have to be back at the barracks for training. I have to go. Thank you, your highness. Thank you!"
Loki, with a hand to his chest, watched Ellie gather her wits and run out of the royal gardens. Her braided hair billowing behind her. There was a spring in her step which he had never spotted before.
He followed the movement of breeze which shouldn't have existed in the Idunn's sanctuary. Out of the wind, Frigga manifested before him. A smile lit up her aged face as she leaned down to help her son to his feet.
Later That Evening
The Feast Hall
Tapping her foot, Ellie sat opposite her opponent that evening. Her belly was full of stew and crusty bread. Helga was weaving between the tables, a ladle in one hand and a cast-iron cauldron in the other. It was nearing the end of the feast so most of the trainees were loitering in small groups; arm-wrestling, gossiping or gambling.
Ajun could be cruel, but he was also here for the same reason everyone else was which was a similarity good enough for a board game. "You shouldn't have made your stakes so high," Ellie said. "That drauger rune will be mine." She moved one of her soldiers into a space on the Hnefatafl board.
The game had been difficult to master at first. Ellie pretended to be unacquainted with such pleasantries; having been forced to do labour by her family. However, she found the game similar to chess in its movements.
Ajun moved one of his opposing pieces, swiping a soldier from Ellie's team. She scowled at him from across the wooden table.
"You haven't presented your stakes, Ellie," he cooed. "How about that beaded bracelet you always wear."
"Beaded…" She held her wrist to her chest, faking a laugh. "It was a gift from my family."
"The family which forced you to work every moment of your existence. It surely can't be so dear to your heart?"
"It is. How about, I give you a protection rune," she pulled a braid from her ponytail and unwound the bead which Cecelia had placed in their so many weeks ago. "Carved by royal whittlers."
"Royalty? I don't believe you. What would a peasant like you be doing with such an object?"
"I saved the prince's life," she said and Ajun snorted. "I did! He was, uh, walking past the house and tripped. I caught him before he broke his perfect, little face. It was a reward."
"I'll have to ask that question for myself."
"As if you will ever have the pleasure of meeting the sons of the Allfather," Lounn guffawed. "You barely had the pleasure of being with your parents since they disliked you so."
Naeva was carving a wooden horse from a bit of firewood. "The warriors three visit the training barracks sometimes, you know."
Lounn glanced at her. "Yeah, but they're not royalty."
"Might s'well be," Ajun said. "To be on the frontline of Thor Odinson is a god-sent gift. I'd kill to be where they are."
"Try killing the enemy then," Ellie said. "Those healing runes can only do so much, and I can feel my ribs aching still."
"Suck it up, little musa," he said coolly, swiping another knight from Ellie's team. "War isn't like play-fighting."
Ellie scoffed. "Play-fighting? You bit a piece of Malai's knuckle off."
"I need to get where I need to be. Just like you."
With a frown, Ellie looked down at the board. She wished it was Loki opposite her, just like how they were that morning in the Idunn Sanctuary. Iduna could appear from behind the tree and flaunt her alluring beauty and temptuous words. It was peculiar how no other Asgardian mentioned the existence of the Idunn and perhaps that was because it was so hidden that even the consumers of it knew nothing. Ellie hadn't promised Loki to not to say a word, but she found she respected him too much to dare mention anything in connection.
Ellie leaned on her elbow and subtly tried to manoeuvre her fingers in the same way Loki did. She imagined her magic as water, swirling and swishing like a river within her. Once more, it ran through her cartilage and bone and hit the end of her hands. The King wobbled on the board.
"Take your pick already," Ajun pushed.
Ellie flinched, dropping her arm onto the table. She clenched her teeth and moved her King, taking out one of Ajun's pieces.
His next move involved him swiping her King from the board and winning her rune-bead.
Ellie spent the night picking at her hair and playing with whatever objects she had in her room. Not that she had many, only her tunics, soap, a towel and a wooden carving Naeva made a few nights ago.
Stretching an arm out, Ellie struggled to conjure up any power.
"Come on," she hissed. "Come on."
Sweat beaded her forehead.
References
Drauger – the undead in Norse mythology.
Hnefatafl – A Viking board game which was very popular.