It was kind of weird how Tucker and Sam always managed to be there when things went horrible awry.

They were sitting in Sam's bedroom, with Tucker playing Animal Crossing whilst splayed across an unmade bed and Sam sitting cross-legged against a wall with a spider plushy in her lap and her nose stuck in some mythology book. They sat in comfortable silence; a kind of silence that only best friends could sit comfortably in. Every so often, a little noise would emanate from Tucker's DSI and distract Sam from her reading. Her resulting glare would make Tucker chuckle a bit.

There was no other noise in the house. Sam's parents were off doing "whatever snobby couples do on Friday night" (Sam's words) and Danny, who was usually the conversation starter, had left the room not long ago in search of a restroom (he never could remember where the bathrooms were located).

And then someone screamed.

Sam's book flew out of her hands and she jumped up, running to the door in such a hurried frenzy that she tripped over a pile of clothes. Tucker had lost his grip on his DSI and it made a resounding smack as it hit his face, resulting in a string of curses that would have persuaded Sam's parents to call the police. Then they were both attempting to squeeze through the door at the same time, Sam shouting reassuring things to Danny that actually sounded more like a string of incoherent struggling noises.

Sam and Tucker's footsteps sounded more like tiny earthquakes as they ran down the hall.

The door to the closest bathroom slammed open, hit the wall, and caused some thousand dollar painting to clatter to the ground. The frame shattered and probably damaged the painting, but Sam wasn't thinking about the chiding that she would endure from her parents later in the evening. Rather, she was thinking about what horrible thing could be happening to Danny now, and why she hadn't been there to help, and oh God what if he's already dead what am I going to do how am I going to explain my best friend's dead body to my parents oh my God.

Instead of Danny's bloody, deceased body, Sam and Tucker were surprised to see their best friend in perfect health, standing in front of the mirror with giant saucer eyes. He jumped when the door slammed, his lips pressed together in such a thin line that they were practically nonexistent. There was a little cut in his lower lip that was leaking a tiny dot of blood, but it was nothing compared to Sam's carpet-burned forearms and Tucker's bloody nose.

Tucker was the first to break the silence. "What the motherfucking fuck, dude? What's the matter?"

Danny shook his head, pointed to his mouth, and then jabbed his index finger towards the sink. Tucker practically pushed Sam to get a look inside the sink, and the two froze at the site.

Four of Danny's bloodied teeth were inside, sitting precariously close to the drain.

"Are you losing all your teeth?" Sam whipped her head around to face Danny, the ends of her hair swiping against her chin as she did so.

He shook his head no.

"Are you unable to open your mouth?" Tucker queried.

No.

"Are there any more lost teeth?" Sam.

No.

"Is your mouth filled with blood?" Tucker.

No.

"Then open up, dude! It can't be that bad, can it? We can get you fake teeth or something. Honestly, I thought you were dying when I heard you scream, so this is a major improvement. You're not dying, are you?"

Danny shook his head again.

"Good. Come on, let's see."

Danny moved his eyes from Tucker to Sam. He was shaking.

"It's alright, Danny. Everything's alright."

Then, slowly, surely, Danny opened up his mouth.

No teeth were missing. None. Rather, four teeth (two on top and two on bottom) were growing at an alarming rate to fit in the gaping holes that had been left behind. This would have been all fine and well, except those four teeth were more like fangs, looking strikingly too similar to stalactites and stalagmites for Sam's comfort. As they watched, the fangs finally slowed and stopped, with the bottom ones a bit smaller than the top ones. Each was, however, a good few centimeters above the surrounding teeth, gleaming dangerously in the fluorescent bathroom lights.

Tucker burst out laughing. It started as a fit of giggles and progressed into complete cackles, tears forming along the waterline of his eyes.

"This isn't funny, Tuck!" Danny yelled, looking in the mirror once more to study the new addition to his mouth. "How the hell am I going to explain this to my parents? What will the people at school think? Dude, I'm dead."

"Who cares what they think?" Sam said. "We should be worrying about how the hell this is even scientifically possible."

"Sam—"

"No, Danny, listen! This literally means that you getting ghost powers somehow also managed to make you grow four new bones in your fucking skull."

Tucker was still laughing. "Dude, imagine how much you can scare Dash with those things. You're a certified vampire now."

"Shut up, Tuck!"

Tucker straightened, wiped his tears, and exhaled slowly. "I can't believe I stopped playing Animal Crossing for this. Adiós."

And with that, Tucker grabbed a toilet paper roll off the shelf, stuffed some of it up his bleeding nostril, and left the crowded bathroom.

"Sam, this is a huge deal. I can't just get rid of these like I can get rid of every other aspect of my ghost powers. People are gonna ask questions."

Sam shrugged. "You're parents aren't observant enough to notice. Also, haven't you seen Blue Exorcist? No one really asked questions about his new fangs in there. I mean, they noticed it, but most people just kind of wrote it off as a birth defect or something."

"My life is not a fucking anime, you fucking weeb."

"You've got the white hair and the angst. It might as well be. Anyways, we need to teach you how to scream only when there's an actual problem. Honestly, I'm just curious as to how this is even scientifically possible."

"Sam, I have a weird ball of energy stuck in my chest that makes it possible for me to have ice powers. A few new bones shouldn't be this big of a deal."

Sam, however, had already turned around and started walking away before Danny had even finished his sentence.

"Hey, where are you going?" He yelled after her.

"To finish my book! Oh, also, can you do me a favor and clean up that broken glass? Love ya!"

Danny huffed and washed his teeth down the sink. Despite how annoyed he felt, he still found himself grinning.

Thank God for my friends.

yes im aware this is horribly late. yes im the worst. but hey! a comedy oneshot instead of those angst ones that i keep doing! honestly, these are a lot more fun to write. i should do more of these.

thank you for all the support im getting so far on these oneshots. i really appreciate it. like, i really do. really, really do. you guys keep me going.

i have to go pee before i burst. hopefully i wont grow fangs while im in there.

xx