warning: cussing

If Danny heard Tucker say the word "superhero" again, he'd throw up.

It had been… Danny glanced at the clock. Approximately four hours, twelve minutes, and fifty-six seconds since Danny awoke from what he and his friends had already began referring to as "the portal incident," and his entire body ached. He would still occasionally feel his muscles spasm and twitch from residual electricity and, upon inspecting himself in the mirror, noticed a nasty, colorful bruise covering most of his body in lightning-shaped streaks. Sure, yes, he was concerned about the bruises and the spasms and with whatever Tucker was rambling on about now, but he was significantly more concerned with the statement that kept running through his boggled brain: I'm dead.

But he couldn't be! He had a heartbeat, and he was breathing…somewhat. There was no way that he was—

"DUDE, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?" Tucker screeched, voice reverberating off the walls and echoing in Danny's small room. His head, which was already pounding from both his contemplations and the fact that he had been literally electrocuted a few hours ago, burst into newfound pain.

"What?" Danny hissed, rubbing at his temples. Sam gently put her hand on his shoulder and glared at Tucker, who was not at all stifled by their disapproving reactions.

"When you're in your superhero form or whatever, you can cuss, like whenever you want, and no one can get mad at you because you're a ghost and they don't know who you are."

Danny blinked once. Twice. Three times. Silence stretched between them, with nothing but the gentle hum of the computer in the corner of his room snuffing it. Tucker's grin was unwavering."

"Tucker, I don't think now is the best time for—" Sam started, but Danny silenced her with words of his own.

"TUCKER MICHAEL FOLEY. DOES IT BOTHER YOU WHATSOEVER THAT I'M ACTUALLY DEAD NOW."

"You're not completely dead." Tucker's smile faltered slightly. "I thought you'd be excited! You're always complaining about how boring your life is, and—"

"WHY. WOULD I EVEN THINK ABOUT BEING ABLE TO FUCKING CUSS. WHEN I LITERALLY MIGHT DIE COMPLETELY OF TERMINAL CANCER OR SOMETHING."

"Hey, we're not here for a long time, we're here for a good time, right buddy?" Tucker responded, though it was hardly a murmur. Danny's eyes were glowing green and it was rather disconcerting.

"HA. HAHA. HAHAHAHAHA—"

"Ow! What the fucking hell, bitch? What the fuck?" Phantom yelped, cradling his injured arm. He flew quickly toward the offending ghost, punching it so hard that it flew straight into a nearby building and shook the ground underneath Sam and Tucker's feet. "How the fuck do you like it, cocksucker?"

Tucker grinned as he watched a nearby mother cover her child's ears in utter horror. Then he turned to Sam, who was watching the fight with a horrible frown. "See? I told you this cussing thing would be entertaining."

"I hate you."

Tucker shrugged, turned towards the fight, and pumped his fist in the air. "Yeah! Get 'im, Danny! You got this!"

Sam sighed.

Being friends with these two boys was exhausting.

another short one! i think the rest of these oneshots are probably going to get significantly shorter due to time restraints. i'm already super late and i'd like to finish up by june 5th so i can start up ffak again.

please review! and mind the possible ooc-ness; it's a shitty au, after all.

xx