chapter warnings
no spoilers, safe for work, long read

At last, Harvey and Donna were to graduate high school. They were destined for great things, or at least that was what their parents and teachers said.

Despite turning over a new leaf in life, the two were heading in the same direction. Harvey was going to St. John's University in Queens, where he would be playing Division One baseball for the Red Storm school, while Donna was headed to New York University's New York City campus. Harvey majored in business while Donna, against her parents' wishes, majored in dance and theater.

Before college, Harvey was destined to go to the state championship for their high school baseball team while Donna was doing a month worth of shows as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz in the school musical. She had also participated in a few pistol competitions, ending as a finalist each time.

There was also prom. It was expected that Harvey Specter and Donna Paulsen would go together, even if they said they didn't like each other in that way. Of course, Donna and Harvey never disappointed, so they planned on going together. However, they denied any and all rumors.

"I don't care what Stacy said, Jane," the Donna would remark, "I don't love Harvey Specter! Okay, well, maybe I love him like a brother. See? He's a brother to me."

"Put your head back in your ass, Adam," Harvey would snap, "I don't like Donna. Yeah, she's hot, but I'm not into her. Neither will you be."

Prom was an ordeal for the two. Although Donna had taught Harvey how to dance, he wasn't that good at it- which was embarrassing, considering he had great coordination as a star baseball player. They spent time after their activities, every night, learning how to dance to Donna's Madonna collection.

"One, two, three, spin!" Donna would count, instructing Harvey to spin her around. It took nearly two months of practice before Harvey learned how to properly dance. Within those two months, all Harvey could hum was Madonna's songs. His younger brother made fun of him for it, but the songs were too catchy to forget.

The worst of the prom drama came when Donna went dress shopping. Although she could drive herself to the mall, she insisted that Harvey take her. They would be able to pick out a matching tie to pair with her dress.

In the car to Riverside Mall, the two bickered- as usual, because when it came to prom, Donna and Harvey could have no peace.

"I can't believe I have to go with you to get a dress."

"I need your approval, Harvey. We're dates, so we have to look good, together."

"It's just prom, Donna."

"Harvey! It's never just prom! I might find my true love there tonight!"

"What? I thought I was your true love."

"Harvey?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

The baseball player rolled his eyes and stopped teasing her. Although, truthfully, he had no qualms with going to the mall (besides the fact that his other friends would make fun of him for it, "Little Specter picking out dresses for his girlfriend? So cute!") because he got to spend time with his best friend.

Donna and Harvey hardly got to spend time together as the school year came to a close. She was always at rehearsal while he was at practice or championship games. When they had free time, they had plans with other friends. Donna would be at the mall while Harvey would be at the infamous baseball team parties. They rarely got to do their weekly movie like they did in middle school. So prom, although chaotic, was a godsend for Harvey and Donna. Even if both of them wouldn't admit it to each other.

Another thing the two wouldn't admit was their feelings. Even if they said there was nothing between them, there was something, but they both shoved it deep down. They each had dated before, not each other, but in the end, their relationships always came down to "pick me or Donna" or "pick me or Harvey!"

With the two being each other's prom dates, it was clear which one both Donna and Harvey picked. It was their stubborn behavior which led them to a stalemate in their relationship, but also Harvey's fears.

Ever since he caught his mother cheating two years ago, Harvey could not find himself wanting to be committed to a woman. He had believed in love like his father, but found out that true love was an illusion- for the woman his father loved did not love him. Harvey's father did not know, but his son had seen more than a handful of men pass through the Specter household. None of those men were Gordon Specter.

It wasn't right, Harvey knew, to blame his mother for his lack of commitment. Yet, every time he imagined himself in a long term relationship, he felt nervous and shook the thoughts away immediately. Even though he would love to be with Donna in that way, he could not risk losing her. Not to mention the fact that, just as his mother cheated, Donna could cheat too. Even though he didn't see Donna as a conniving woman like his mother, he wasn't willing to risk it.

Donna, on the other hand, was afraid of destroying what they had; a friendship built over ten years. If they had a falling out as a couple, they could never go back to the amiability that they had as friends. It wouldn't work. Because Donna was afraid of destroying her friendship, she reserved her feelings.

In the mall, Donna found herself bouncing from boutique to boutique, before she finally settled on a teal, strapless dress which complemented her copper red hair. She tried it on for Harvey and strut out of the dressing room looking like a princess.

"What do you think?"

Harvey whistled and winked at her.

"Lookin' good, Donna."

"I know," she winked back.

For Harvey, she picked out a teal tie out of her price range, but she got anyways. Beauty was pain, and if that pain was to her wallet, so be it. Her best friend protested, saying that he could deal with a green or blue tie, but Donna ignored his cries. They were going to be the best dressed couple at prom, whether he liked it or not.

Once prom rolled around, the two looked like king and queen. Donna, with her copper red hair in an updo, and Harvey, with his teal tie which matched Donna's dress, wooed the crowd equally. Not only that, their dancing was insane- her drills and practice sessions paying off.

They danced, laughed, and sang through prom. When the after party came, Harvey drove them to his friend's house, the co-captain of the baseball team, Adam. There were equal parts drinking and smoking, of which the two did not participate. Even though Harvey was certain he got a second-hand high, they spent most of the time babysitting their friends.

"Oh I can't drink, I'm driving Harvey home," Donna would politely say, shoving away the beers. She hated driving; Harvey would be driving, but her friends didn't need to know that.

"C'mon man, big game tomorrow. Gotta give it my A game, we're going to states!" Harvey grinned as he handed the joint back to his friends, "Maybe after we take home the state trophy we can have fun."

Eventually, the two got tired of taking care of their friends and they went back home.

"That was fun," Donna began, as she looked out of the window of the car, "I wish Jackie wasn't so high off her rocker though. I wanted to talk about how nice Adam looked."

Harvey snorted as he took a glance over at his prom date.

"C'mon, when you got your looker of a date right here?"

Although he could not see it, he felt Donna's eyes give him a glare.

"I'm serious, Harvey. You think I have a chance with Adam? He's going to NYU, after all. Maybe we'll hit it off."

"Oh sure, I'll just set you two up," he sneered, "you'll be lovebirds."

"Harvey-."

"What?"

The baseball player pulled into Donna's driveway and turned off the engine. The full moon illuminated her face, tinted red in embarrassment and anger.

"What, Donna?" he asked, tilting his head in confusion. It was just a joke.

"Are you jealous?"

Harvey scoffed, "Why would I be jealous? You're not my girlfriend. It was just a joke."

"You sure seem like it. You're being a dick."

"How am I being a dick? I said 'you'll be lovebirds.'"

"I'm supposed to take that as a compliment?" she jabbed, "Harvey, you don't compliment people. You insult them. You make them feel less than you."

"You're accusing me of being a dick because I'm being nice?"

Donna grabbed her purse from beneath the seat and unbuckled herself.

"No, Harvey, I'm saying you're jealous and won't admit it. Good night. Call me when you're about to leave. I'll bring the thumbtacks and can opener over."

She opened the door and left. Harvey, annoyed, tried to grab her arm, but she was too quick. He quickly unbuckled and got out of the car too.

"The fuck's that supposed to mean, Donna?"

As she made her way up the steps, she scowled. "Figure it out yourself, genius!"

The day after prom was rough; Donna was visibly grumpy and so was Harvey. When she came down for breakfast, her hair was undone and there were mascara stains on her eyelids. Mrs. Paulsen gasped, sitting at her spot at the dining table before quickly getting up to inspect her daughter.

"What happened last night, Donna? You look like a mess!"

The redhead waved her mother away as she patted down her hair and moved to her seat.

"It's nothing, mom. Don't worry about it."

Her mother sighed, "Did you and Harvey have a fight?"

Donna shot her a look.

"Why the look? You guys were loud."

Across town, at Harvey's house, the baseball player was still in bed. He was staring at his ceiling as the fan spun round and round. It was only when his father knocked at his door that he got up.

"Harv, you good?"

Groaning, he rolled off his bed and answered the door.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

Mr. Specter rolled his eyes as he rustled his kid's hair.

"Whatever you say, son. You made quite the ruckus last night, stompin' in here. You woke your mother up."

"She'll be fine," Harvey grunted. It was one thing to be angry at Donna, but mentioning his mother made it all the more terrible.

"Get up, kiddo. You'll have to eat breakfast eventually. Big game today! You leave in two hours. Don't forgot to call Donna, bud."

The baseball star sighed as he went to brush his teeth.

He stared down his reflection as he brushed.

I'm not fucking calling Donna. Not until she apologizes for making a big deal out of nothing. Screw the ritual. I don't need luck, I'm going to St. John's!

Harvey stepped onto the plate, twirling his bat with confidence. He was grinning from ear to ear. His team was up two points; there was no way the enemy was winning. Harvey didn't lose. His number, number one, only affirmed that.

The announcers began to chat up a frenzy as they noticed that he was returning to the plate. So far, Harvey had scored all of the points for his team.

"Up at bat again, Riverside's number one, Harvey Specter. Heard he's going to the Red Storm at St. John's, what do you have to say about that, Bob?"

"Y'know, Jim, I think he'll have a great season there. He'll probably go pro!"

"Yeah, with a batting average of .385, there's no way he's not. This is the final district match, and then Harvey will be playing at states. Now, he's getting ready to hit."

At the bat, Harvey readied himself.

One last hit. Come on, Specter.

"And here's the throw!" the announcer cried.

Go!

Harvey swung; he swung hard. As the ball made contact with the wood, he felt a pop and heard a crack. That couldn't be good.

The crack was from his baseball bat, but the pop was not a sound that a bat made. A searing pain shot through Harvey's body. His shoulder dislocated, and the pain caused him to fall to the ground. The dust from the fall got in his eyes, and he tried his damned best not to cry.

"Get up, Specter! Run!" his coach yelled, before realizing that something was wrong.

The crowd grew silent. Robert, one of the announcers, leaned into his microphone and said quietly, "Looks like Riverside's number one has dislocated his shoulder. I don't think he's going pro now, Jim."

Weeks passed since the big game. Due to Harvey's injury, the enemy team got motivated and back into the swing of things. Harvey's team lost by one point.

Not only that, Donna and Harvey's argument was never addressed. In fact, ever since he dislocated his shoulder, Harvey avoided his best friend. Donna had heard the news the moment he was in the hospital, thanks to his parents, but he had nothing to say to her when she was put on the line.

Unfortunately, Donna knew she was going to be the one to have to talk to him first.

The two shared a home economics class, and they were partners. The past two weeks that they had worked together, they worked together in utter silence. The only thing Harvey said to her was "pass the spatula," three days ago.

Before class began, Donna marched to Harvey's locker, angry and hurt.

"Harvey," she whined.

"What?" he snapped back, without looking away from the insides of his locker.

"Talk to me. You haven't talked to me since prom."

Harvey slammed his locker shut and zipped his backpack. The two began to walk down the halls to home ec.

"Harvey," Donna begged, "Please. If you're mad about prom, I'm sorry. God, Harvey, I just wanted you to admit that you were bothered."

He stepped to the side of the hall, and looked her in her eyes.

"Donna, I don't give a damn about who the hell you date. Get over it."

"I'm over it. Clearly you aren't. You haven't talked to me for two weeks! Two weeks!"

"Maybe it's because you didn't show up before my game."

Donna gasped in shock. He was blaming her for his accident? His overexertion at the game that she didn't even know that he left for? He was supposed to let her know. She stepped back into the middle of the hall and stormed off to class. Harvey trailed behind.

"You're blaming me for your mistake. I can't believe you," she shouted behind her.

Harvey scoffed, "You didn't come over. We didn't do the ritual."

"And? That's your fault for not calling me."

The two entered class and sat down at their kitchen station, waiting for the bell to ring. Their voices dropped, for they did not want anyone eavesdropping on their conversation.

"You were mad at me. You never apologized. How am I supposed to know that it's okay to call you?"

"Because I god damn said to, Harvey!" Donna yelled.

Anna and Brittney, who were sitting at the station besides them, shot the two a look and the rest of the class was silent. Their classmates stared at them.

"Sorry," Harvey said to the class, his cheeks flush.

"Just admit it," Donna said, her voice quiet again, "Me trying to date Adam bothers you. That's why you didn't call me, that's why we didn't do the ritual, and that's why you're projecting the result of your injury onto me. When in reality, you injured your arm because you're too damn cocky. And jealous!"

"Now where the hell did you get that idea? I don't care who you date- it wasn't a big deal. You made it an issue that night. You stormed off, telling me to basically go fuck myself. I can't call you when you're angry- whenever I do that you never pick up!"

"I told you to call, Harvey! How many times do I have to say that? I was hurt, not angry. I wanted you to admit that you didn't like the idea of it because you talked to me with that dickish attitude. I know how much that stupid game means to you, I would never purposely skip the stupid ritual! I didn't even know you left! Why would I ever leave you?"

Tears forming in her eyes, Donna grabbed her backpack and ran out.

Harvey baked the cookies alone.

The next month before school ended, Harvey and Donna did not talk. The only time they spoke to each other was for their parents. Sometimes Mrs. Specter needed a magazine that Mrs. Paulsen owned, so Harvey was sent over to fetch it. Other times, Mrs. Paulsen needed Mr. Specter's wrench, so Donna had to ask for it.

When graduation came and went, they posed for pictures but they did not exchange words. It was not until the day they left for their colleges that they spoke. Harvey had shown up at Donna's door right before he was to leave. Finally, after stewing for that long, he came to his senses.

Opening her door, Donna's eyes widened in surprise.

"Harvey," she said, clearing her throat. She was rather shocked that he had shown up.

He nodded, "Donna."

"I...I didn't expect you to come around. I hope you like St. John's."

"I didn't want to leave without a goodbye."

Nervously, she whispered, "You'll still come visit me, right?"

"Will you visit me?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I'll visit you too," he replied quietly.

From the car, which Donna hadn't even registered was parked in her driveway, Gordon called for Harvey. Sadly, the former baseball player turned to the redhead and gave her a small smile as a goodbye.

"See you around, Donna."

"See you around, Harvey."

"Keep in touch," he said, touching her shoulder gently.

"I will."

AUTHOR NOTES
LOL. This chapter was even longer than the last and harder to write. Speaking (writing?) of which, because the chapters grow longer, the story will take a little bit longer to update. This story was last updated about a month ago and that pretty accurately reflects how long it takes for a longer chapter to be put up for this fic... hopefully.

I stopped watching Suits for a bit; I literally finished two shows to fill the Suits-void because I'm so reluctant to watch S7 it's kind of depressing. I watched AP Bio and Superstore, the latter of which I reaaaaaaaally want to write a Jonah x Amy story for. If you haven't seen it, check it out!

Leave a review if you liked this chapter! Any and all comments are appreciated- and even if I don't reply to them, I read them all! It motivates me to work harder!

This fanfiction updates...uh...supposedly... twice a month.
Follow my twitter (nidavellir_) to constantly pester me to write. I need the push!
The story is also cross-posted onto AO3 under the username "wrightworth."

TITLE INSPIRATION
Loser by Beck

CREDITS
Editor: Claire
My Harvey to my Donna (or vice versa): Sarah