Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.

Challenges listed at the bottom.

Word Count - 2177

Beta'd by Emily

Pairing - LuciusMarlene

Warning - Character Death and Adultery

For Jen, who inspires my muse with odd pairings. I love you.

Dirty Little Secret

She walked slowly along the aisle, her fingers drifting across the book spines as she searched for the one she needed. The library was quiet, almost completely empty, just the way she preferred it.

She knew most people were outside, enjoying the first nice day they'd had for a while, but she'd decided to get a headstart on the weekend's homework.

A throat cleared, and she looked up to see Lucius Malfoy standing at the opposite end of the shelves. He beckoned her over with a crook of his long finger, and she frowned, looking around to see if there was somebody behind her.

When she was sure he was beckoning her, her frown only deepened.

Lucius Malfoy had absolutely no reason whatsoever to want to talk to her. He was a Slytherin in the year above her, and… well, as far as Marlene knew, he'd never so much as looked at her before.

She stopped in front of him and waited, nerves jangling. He offered her a book, and a glance at the front showed that it was the one she'd been searching for.

"How did you know?" she asked, accepting the book from him.

He smirked. "Lucky guess."

He turned and walked away, leaving her standing alone, staring after him. When he reached the doors, he looked back over his shoulder and winked.

…

The battle was fierce, and Marlene was barely managing to keep herself safe. When she'd joined the Order straight out of school, the meetings could never have prepared her for this.

Everywhere she looked, another fight was happening, spells were flying and painful cries rent the air. Nearby, she could see Alice and Lily fighting side by side, and across the field, James, Sirius and Frank were facing a group of five masked figures.

Lucius could be behind one of these masks, her mind offered up. She lost her focus for a moment and had to roll out of the way of a shot of green. It missed her by inches.

Despite knowing who and what he was, Marlene had never actually thought about the concept of facing him in battle.

The Lucius that wore the Dark Mark wasn't her Lucius, after all.

…

"Why are you following me?" she asked quietly.

He stepped out of the shadows, his hair seeming suddenly luminous in the moonlight streaming in from window.

"You… intrigue me, Miss McKinnon. I wish to know more about you."

Marlene snorted. "And to do that, you decided that handing me books in the library and stalking me on my prefect rounds was the way to go? Really?"

His lips thinned for a moment. "It is not as though I can approach you openly. There are limitations that I must work around."

"Oh. You can't be seen with a Gryffindor known to be light minded?"

He quirked his eyebrow and nodded.

"Well," she sighed. "I'm not interested in being anyone's dirty little secret, so you might as well head back to your common room."

He shook his head. "In these dangerous times, I think I'll stick around. I cannot have my prefects being hurt or caught unawares, after all."

"Your prefects?"

"I am Headboy, Miss McKinnon. You're my responsibility, no?"

Marlene shook her head. "That's… not how that works."

Lucius smirked. "Well. Perhaps it should be."

…

"Were you hurt?"

She shook her head. "A few bruises and minor grazes, nothing to worry about."

He stroked a gentle hand over her cheek. "I wish you wouldn't insist on fighting this war. I worry about you."

Marlene looked up to meet his eyes. "Right back at you."

Lucius snorted but said nothing else. He tugged her close, and wrapped his arms around her. Her head automatically fell to rest on his chest. She could hear his heartbeat, steady and comforting.

"Were you there?"

"You know I can't tell you that."

She pulled back and looked at him again. "Lucius. Were you there?"

He held her gaze for a long moment and then shook his head. "No. I wasn't. I was… otherwise occupied."

She couldn't stop the relief from flowing through her, but she could ignore it. They were at war, on opposing sides. One day, they'd come face to face on the battlefield, it was inevitable.

…

She tried to keep him at arm's length. He joined her on almost all of her patrols after that first one, falling into step beside her.

He was intelligent, and he drew her into conversations about her classes, about the happenings in the world, about the Ministry news. Things most of her classmates had no interest in talking about.

He listened when she spoke, and showed real interest in her thoughts and opinions. He made her feel… worthy.

She started looking forward to seeing him, and many times, she saw something in the paper or found something in a book and immediately wanted to speak with him about it.

It hurt, than in the presence of others, he looked through her as though she wasn't there.

The first time he kissed her, it was at the top of the Astronomy tower and she laughed at him for being a cliche. It was the first time she saw him blush, his cheeks hinting a rosy colour that she wanted to photograph.

"That can't happen again," she said, raising a hand to touch at her lips. They almost burned, as though she could feel an imprint of his lips against them.

He frowned. "Why not?"

"We… just shouldn't," Marlene replied. "It's not good for either of us."

Lucius shook his head. "I don't accept that. You are so good for me, Marlene. I cannot get enough of you."

"We can never… be open, Lucius. I don't want to live that way."

He frowned, but sighed and turned his head away. It wasn't an admittance of defeat but it felt like one regardless.

…

He twirled strands of her hair between his fingers. They were luxuriating in having somewhere private, just for them. Her flat, protected by only the strongest of spells, had become their safe haven since she'd left Hogwarts, and she always loved having him there with her.

"There's something I need to tell you," he murmured.

Marlene looked up, frowning when she saw the look on his face. Usually, Lucius was open and honest when it was just the two of them, but she was looking at the blank face the rest of the world saw.

"What is it?"

"Narcissa is pregnant."

Marlene blinked. "Okay."

He stared at her for a long moment. "That's it?"

"You married her almost a year ago, Lucius. I was expecting it. I don't know what you're expecting me to say?"

"I… think I expected shouting and possibly you throwing something at me."

Marlene laughed, leaning back into his side. "There's nothing I can do about your public life, Lucius. I gave up wishing for more than what we have a long time ago. If this is all I can have… then so be it."

"I… thank you. For…" he seemed to struggle to find the words he needed and buried his face against her hair. "Thank you for loving me despite the fact that I can never wholly be yours."

…

"It was… torturous, to watch you in the Three Broomsticks with Black today."

His tone was almost conversational, and it took her a moment to understand his words. She turned to look at him and raised her eyebrow.

"Almost as torturous as it was to see news of your betrothal in the Prophet, I imagine."

Lucius chuckled. "Touche. But… my jealousy insisted I tell you how abhorrent I found it. I wanted to string him up when he put his hands on you. Only I should be allowed to touch you like that. You're an enchantress, Marlene. You have me entirely under your spell."

Marlene laughed, she couldn't help herself. "I thought Malfoys were supposed to be smooth! That was cheesier than anything I've ever heard!"

He shook his head and took her hand in his own, squeezing lightly. "No less true, though. I love it when you laugh, Marlene. You should do it more often."

Marlene looked down at their joined hands and smiled lightly. There wasn't much to laugh about, with the state of the world as it was, but she appreciated the thought.

"Well, keep on being so cheesy, and you'll likely hear much more of it."

…

The sweat still cooling on their naked bodies, they flopped back against the pillows of the plush bed, panting heavily. Lucius' hand caressed her skin, painting nonsensical patterns with the very tips of his fingers.

Marlene turned her head to look at him.

This was her favourite Lucius; relaxed and pliant, sated and warm. He met her eyes and smiled slowly, a genuine happiness shining from his grey eyes.

"That, my dear, was fantastic."

Marlene smirked, nuzzling her face against his shoulder. "Isn't it always?"

He nodded, and shifted his head to press his lips against the corner of her eye. "Indeed."

They lay for a few more minutes before, as always, his limbs started to tense up. He gently moved her so she was no longer leaning on him and sat up, his blond hair a messy halo around his face.

Angel, he certainly was not, but in that moment, he looked like one.

Marlene couldn't help but admire him as he stood, unconcerned with his nakedness. He dressed efficiently, no move wasted, and he didn't turn to look at her until he was wearing his full armour.

It was the way she'd always thought of his expensive robes. Once he was wearing them, he turned into an entirely different person.

"I must leave. I'll see you next week?"

She nodded, swallowing down the wish for him to stay for a while. She knew he wouldn't, had long given up on asking for him too. He had a pregnant wife to go home to, after all.

Lucius rounded the bed and leant down, pressing a kiss to her lips as though he could read the morbid turn of her thoughts and wanted to help.

Not that anything could help, but she appreciated that he tried.

"Be careful," he murmured against her lips.

She didn't open her eyes until she heard the tell tale crack of Apparition that signalled his leaving, and when she did open then, she didn't even attempt to stem the tears.

…

They stood on opposing sides of a private room in the Three Broomsticks. Marlene couldn't hold her temper, her hurt, and she lashed out, throwing her hands in the air.

"You're getting married, Lucius! It's not like you'll ever really be mine!"

She fought her tears back, unwilling to show him just how much he was breaking her heart, but it was hard. Not that she could blame him; she'd known it was coming. He was a Malfoy, it was expected that he'd marry his betrothed as soon as they were both finished with their schooling.

He crossed the small room to wrap his arm around her but she pushed him away.

"Don't do that," she whispered, wrapping her own arms around herself. "Don't try and make me feel better. This isn't going to get better."

"I have to marry her," Lucius murmured, stepping closer again. "I have no choice, Marlene. I have to give her my hand. I cannot, however, be forced to give her my heart. That is yours, and yours alone."

Marlene lost the battle with her tears, and swiped them away angrily. "What good is your heart when I can't have you?"

"I can still… I'll find a way. I'll still be able to see you. Just… in secret. As we do now."

"I told you, Lucius, I don't want to be a dirty little secret. Before any of this… I told you that."

When he reached for her this time, she was too weak to push him away.

"Will you really turn what little we can have away?" he asked softly. "Will you break my heart, Marlene, and tell me no?"

"You know I won't," she whispered almost silently. She didn't add that even though he was breaking her heart, she would never break his.

…

He knew what he was walking into, and yet he couldn't stop himself. Her body had been moved, but all the signs of the fight were still there.

The sofa they'd spent hours talking on, obliterated.

The bed they'd made love on more times that Lucius could count, annihilated.

The gold mirror that hung in the hallway, shattered.

His mask hid the tears streaming freely down his cheeks as he took in the mess and destruction his comrades had wreaked here. He'd heard about the attack too late to warn her.

Coming here had been a mistake, he knew. He should have kept his memories pure, thought of her happy and healthy and… whole. Not this.

He'd never wanted this. Not for her.

Not for Marlene.

His heart.

Written for;

Disney - S4. Falling in love

Showtime - 12. Heartbreak

Arcade - Cia - Enchantress / beckoning someone over / jealous

Around the World - Scarab - Gold

Alphabetti Spaghetti - T - Three Broomsticks

365. 46. Healthy

1000. 913. Jealous