Author's Note: Hello, everyone! Long time, no see.
No doubt you all are as excited as I am for Jessica Jones season 2, which launches on Netflix next week!
Just a note about continuity: many of the events of this fic have been planned long in advance, well before even Defenders season 1 launched back in August, and I'm more interested in telling a cohesive story that way than adapting to our ever-evolving Netflix branch of the MCU. As such, please keep in mind that there may be some breaks with the mainstream canon (aside from the obvious, intentional ones of course) as Jessica Jones, Daredevil, Luke Cage etc. progress into later seasons and reveal more of their respective histories and in-universe details. (Even as-is, the fic has already broken with continuity to a certain degree, as Matt is Luke's attorney rather than Foggy… this development was planned before Defenders aired!)
I hope that I have all of your patience with this as I continue to work on this parallel-universe fic.
Thanks for reading, all!
Light poured in through the parted curtains of a dusty apartment, shining on a head of scraggly black hair. Clenching her fists around an ocean of blankets, Jessica turned over and pressed her face into the pillows, covering herself again.
Somewhere in the other room, the creaking of floorboards and clattering of something on a counter roused her from her uneasy sleep. Footsteps came down on a hardwood floor, growing louder as they approached the door.
Malcolm.
With a start, Jessica sat up straight in her bed and threw some covers off of her, eyes wide. A man approached the bed, and she drove her palms into the mattress as she looked up at him.
Kilgrave, put-together and smiling slightly, took a step away from her as she shot him a wild-eyed glance.
Not Malcolm. Of course not…
"Whoa. Easy, now," Kilgrave said gently, raising a hand.
She narrowed her eyes at him for a moment, then relaxed back into the bed with a sigh, fully awake. "Shit. Sorry. Surprised me."
Sitting up, Jessica winced with pain and touched a hand to her chest, covered only by a lacy bra and a heavy wrapping of white bandages. A stabbing pain shot through her torso in a few places, like pin pricks.
Kilgrave nodded once at her and approached the bed again, taking a seat and placing his hand over hers over the covers. "How are you feeling?"
She groaned slightly and leaned back against the bed frame, pulling her hand out from under his. "Like I got shot in the chest." With a sigh, she looked around the bedroom, pouting slightly. "I don't recognize this place. Where are we?"
"Oh, just a quaint little apartment in the heart of Hell's Kitchen. Courtesy of our friend Matthew Murdock." He grinned, despite Jessica's sudden alarmed frown. "Apparently he keeps the rent paid with an attorney's salary; who'd have thought? Runs around committing felony assault at night and upholding the law during the day. There's some irony for you." Kilgrave looked at the wall curiously. "Never really much considered it, but I suppose we've all got to have a day job, hm?"
She briefly considered pointing out his own lack of a day job, but decided against it with a sigh after a few moments of contemplation. "Sure. I guess," Jessica mumbled.
Her eyes drifted down toward the white sheets, contemplative. Apparently troubled by her expression, he slid toward her on the bed, crossing one leg over the other. He placed a hand on her upper arm, stroking it gently, and her eyes glossed over with distaste.
Jessica's neck craned up to look at him, expression hardened. "So if this is Matt's apartment, what did you do with him?"
"Oh, I just relocated him. Quiet little place on the other side of town. He'll be out of the way; no need to worry about him."
"…You didn't kill him?"
A little off-put by the remark, he exchanged a glance with her and gave a small pout, rapping his fingers along her forearm. "Kill him? No, no, I… I kept him around. I haven't decided what I'm going to do with him yet, but…" He took his hand from her arm and ran it through his hair, uncertain. "I mean, I'd have thought you'd be a little more concerned about yourself, considering the hell you must have been through, going through surgery and all. I suppose you don't remember too well; you've been really on and off…"
She steeled herself, refusing to change the subject. "Why bother keeping him alive? You're going to use him as your muscle, or something?"
"Oh, I don't know." He shrugged halfheartedly. "Yeah, I mean… I thought maybe I'd keep him around as a bodyguard or something. I was just thinking that I don't like having you do that for me. Hell, I should be protecting you, not the other way around…"
Kilgrave clasped his hands together at the thought, examining her up and down. Jessica's blankets lay at her waist, leaving her exposed to him, and she gave him a blank stare, her thoughts murky.
He slid forward on the bed to get closer to her, and her eyes followed him as he closed the distance. Frowning at her expression, he murmured, "Come on, now. Don't be so stern, Jessica. Smile."
Jessica froze for a half-second, and the ends of her lips curved into an old, familiar smile. He smiled back out of satisfaction with her and set his hand on her leg over the covers, turning his head to press his lips to hers. She returned the kiss hungrily, and as he pulled away, she crawled forward on the bed to follow him, allowing the rest of the covers to fall away from her from the waist down. Kilgrave stood and straightened out his jacket, looking down at Jessica as she knelt beneath him on all fours.
"You know, you really gave me a scare, injured like that. I didn't know what I was going to do, if you…"
"Died," said Jessica softly, still looking up at him.
"Hrm."
He puffed out his cheeks, reaching a hand down to stroke Jessica's hair. She held still as he did, still perched on the bed.
After a moment, a loud buzz shook the bedside table off to the side of them, and Jessica jumped with surprise at the noise.
A computerized female voice chirped from the tabletop. "Foggy. Foggy. Foggy. Fog-"
With one hand, Kilgrave reached for the table and pressed a button on Matt's cell phone, which was apparently left behind after his eviction. Kilgrave snickered quietly, looking at the phone in his hand for a moment before setting it down again and turning back to Jessica.
"Just the phone. It talks! Since he's- tsch- since he's blind, and all." He shrugged with both hands, smirking. "I love that! Don't judge a book by its cover and all, right?"
Jessica didn't say anything, eyes fixed on the phone as it lay still on the table. 'Foggy' had to be a nickname- affectionate, so probably a friend's name…
Kilgrave appeared in front of her, and she blinked once, distracted. Her smile remained plastered on her face.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking," he said quietly, to no response.
Jessica sank into the mattress, absentminded. Kilgrave leaned over the bed to watch her.
He spoke again. "Are you hungry?"
Her eyes trailed back to him. "No."
"I'd like to do something for you." He bit his bottom lip slightly, evidently a little frustrated. "I just- alright. Tell me, Jessica. If I could get you anything right now- anything in the world- what would it be?"
She closed her eyes, her mouth hanging open a little bit. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she thought about her job, staying up all night digging up dirt on somebody over the internet. She had hated it at the time, but there was something peaceful about having the whole evening to spend in the company of herself- the only time she had when her upstairs neighbors would actually quiet down.
"Coffee." Jessica opened her eyes again. "There was a little coffeehouse down the block from my old apartment."
"Coffee? From that specific shop?" Kilgrave scrunched his face with distaste.
"Yes," Jessica said flatly. "Black."
"I- yeah, fine. Fine!" He shrugged slightly. "Definitely not the first thing I would have asked for if the offer was made to me, but. Coffee, fine. I'll make sure it's perfect for you, then."
Jessica gazed up at him, still smiling.
For a few moments, she thought about how, as teenagers, she and Trish both drank a lot of coffee. Jessica would drink it black to seem more mature. Trish would drink it black because their mother would never allow her to put sugar in it. Something they bonded over, maybe. Maybe not.
Jessica bit her lip, and Kilgrave wandered toward the bedroom door, sliding it open again.
"I'll be back in a little while," he said softly, eyeing her up a final time. "Don't go anywhere, Jessica."
"I won't," she replied.
And the door shut. A few moments later, she heard the front door open and then shut, too.
And Jessica was all alone.
She fell back into the bed, her absentminded smile finally fading into a grimace as the pains in her chest shot up again. The sheets were remarkably smooth and soft, as nice as any Kilgrave would have picked out for himself. Murdock had surprising tastes, Jessica thought…
She stared at a cupboard off the side of the bed, vision partially obscured by the pillow that her head had sunk into. Briefly, she thought about getting out of bed and covering herself, just so she wouldn't need to talk to Kilgrave in her underwear, but it would be a lost cause anyway. And she didn't want to stuff herself into a flowery dress, besides. Waste of time…
Her gaze trailed back down to the bedside table, where the screen gently flashed a notification for a recent voicemail message. Foggy.
A friend.
Don't go anywhere, Jessica.
But not 'Don't talk to anyone'.
Jessica grabbed the phone with one hand and pulled it toward her. Staring at the notification, her mind wandered to Malcolm again.
Wherever Matt was right now, he was miserable for sure. Miserable… and completely beyond helping.
She tapped on the notification, raising the phone to her ear. A moment later, a man's voice played- clearly distressed.
"God damn it, Matt," said the voice on the message, crackling with phone static. "God damn it, I can't- just. Matt. Pick up your goddamn phone. I can't deal with radio silence." He paused and shuffled around on the other end of the line for a few moments, his voice hoarse. "You missed the wake for the police. Brett's wake. A dozen cops died, Matt. Karen has been screening my calls, and even she bothered to show up for it. I thought at first that you may… know something about it." Another brief pause, and more shuffling. "I don't know what's going on with you. I don't know if I put you in danger. I don't… I just don't know. Maybe you're just being an asshole. I really, really hope that's what you're doing. Last time we spoke, you told me you were going to take care of things. I didn't expect to stop hearing from you afterward. I can't help but think- but worry about what I might have…" He took a long pause, and sighed into the receiver. "Look. I don't know what I'm going to do. Just… please… call me. Please, Matt. Please."
"Foggy. 11:31 AM. No unheard messages."
Jessica lifted the phone from her ear, staring blankly at the now black phone screen. Her face reflected on the screen, frowning dejectedly. She closed her eyes.
Someone else was getting themselves tied up in this, she thought, and for what? Matt was lost. But not Foggy.
She drummed her fingers against the phone, smudging the screen a little.
Not Foggy- at least not yet…
Jessica sucked in her breath and turned the phone back on, tapping on it with her thumb.
Don't go anywhere, Jessica.
Foggy's name and number sat at the top of recent calls. Jessica tapped on it, and the screen faded out.
"Calling… Foggy…"
The phone began to ring as she put it to her ear again, and her stomach went up in knots as each ring sounded. The needling feeling that she was somehow violating a command slowly creeped its way up the back of her neck- even though she knew Kilgrave had never said anything about making calls. Jessica shivered.
After the fifth ring, the same voice from the message appeared on the other end, frantic. "Matt? Oh, thank God."
"Uh." Jessica closed her eyes and sighed, collecting herself. "Sorry, is this… Foggy?"
"Huh?" The man's voice suddenly turned nervous, clearly surprised not to hear Matt on the other end. "I- er, yes! Franklin Nelson. Um. 'Esquire'. Can I ask who this is?"
"Evie. Evie Sheppard. I'm one of… Mr. Murdock's… clients. Sorry, I found his phone, and I thought maybe a friend from his contacts could tell me if there's another number he uses, or something… he's not at his apartment, so…"
"Sorry, um. Miss… Sheppard?" said Foggy uncertainly. "You said you're one of his clients. And you… found his phone…? How did that happen? You weren't meeting at his office?"
"Oh, well. We. Uh, we met for coffee. He couldn't pencil me in at the office, so."
"So you found his phone and went to his apartment? Why would he give you his home address?" Clearly skeptical, Foggy spoke firmly- though he sounded almost nervous. "I'm sorry, what case of yours did Matt take, exactly?"
Jessica hesitated- he was the clearly the inquisitive type. "Okay." Change of plans. "Busted. We're sleeping together."
"Ah! Figures." Obviously relieved, Foggy lightened up significantly, voice crackling through the receiver. "Don't worry. Matt keeps so many secrets, he can hardly be mad at you for spoiling just one."
"You're telling me." Jessica bit her lip. "Uh. I was hoping I could get in touch with him, though. Maybe he has a cell for work or something."
"You can't just go see him at his office?"
"He's not at his office. Or his apartment, like I said. He up and vanished, and didn't tell me a thing about it." Energized- and a little nostalgic- Jessica sat up in bed and leaned against the frame, brushing hair out of her face. "So I got lucky, and I stopped by his office on Friday night, and Katy tells me he went on some business trip out of state without telling anyone. The hell is that about?"
"Katy? Who's Katy?"
"You don't know Katy? She cleans the office. Comes in every other week, I think?"
"Damn! He hired a cleaner? He never wanted to do that when I had to share that office with him!"
Jessica blinked. So… they worked together.
"Yeah. Well, you know." Jessica shrugged absentmindedly as she spoke. "I guess, with his lack of vision and all, he wanted to make sure he had someone around to keep things looking nice…?"
Foggy hesitated. "Yeah. I guess that makes sense."
Jessica sighed quietly. "Point is, he up and goes on a business trip, and he leaves his damn cell phone here. So I'm thinking he has to have a work cell, too, that he would have brought with him. Assuming he is on a business trip…"
"A business trip." Something clattered on the other end as Foggy fidgeted with the phone, taking a long pause. "God. Of course. Out of state. I know where he is."
"Huh?" Jessica widened her eyes. "Uh, I mean, where…?"
"Georgia. Savannah, Georgia. He told me about it. Took a big client there. Luke Cage- that bulletproof guy from Harlem? Matt took his case."
Jessica froze, phone trembling in her hand. Luke… of course, it just had to be Luke…
Unsure of how to respond, Jessica simply held the phone against her ear, waiting tensely.
After a few seconds, Foggy sighed loudly on the other end. "Damn it. Of course that's where he is. Vanishes for weeks at a time, taking trips out of the city, doesn't tell anybody… and he went to Georgia! I was worrying my ass off, here."
Jessica frowned. "Yeah. You're not the only one."
So many people getting involved. Foggy… a friend… was saved, at least.
But Luke…? There was no way he could get involved in this again. She was nowhere near strong enough for that.
"So I take it you don't know the number for his work cell," Jessica added meagerly, realizing after a few seconds that she still hadn't responded to him.
"Damn it, I wish I did," Foggy replied. "Sorry, what did you say your name was again? Evie?"
"Evie."
"Well, Evie, I have to say, I appreciate the call… but with Matt, you may just be out of luck." He paused for a moment. "He vanishes. He lies. He keeps secrets. That's who Matt is. That's what he does. And if you get close to him…" Foggy cut himself off with a wry laugh, clicking his tongue. "Sorry. I guess I'm being a little too personal."
"No. It's fine." Jessica narrowed her eyes. "He's… he's an asshole. I got it. I've gotten into bed with worse. Least now I know what I'm dealing with. Thanks."
"Hm," Foggy mumbled, apparently uncomfortable. "I. Yeah. Sorry. You, uh- uh, have a good one."
"I'll try."
Jessica hung up, and her arm swung back over the bed to the table, dropping the phone on top. Her head remained firmly pressed against her pillow.
It just had to be Luke. And there was nothing else she could do.
Jessica's head buzzed with memories. Ruining her bed frame with Luke- well worth it. Malcolm rooting around in her cupboards at 4 in the morning. A restless night in the office, drinking coffee.
Then Kilgrave.
Something stuck in Jessica's throat, and she looked at the phone on the table. She shouldn't have done that… he didn't tell her, but she shouldn't have done that…
She didn't want to upset him- or, she didn't want to go against his wishes… or…
Don't go anywhere, Jessica.
The bedroom door slid open with no warning, and Jessica nearly jumped out of bed with surprise, hair falling over her face. With a laugh, Kilgrave walked in, two paper cups in hand. He held out one to Jessica, who cupped her hands over it nervously. He kissed her on the forehead.
"Long line this morning," he said with a bemused smile. "Makes you feel for the poor sods who wait in line for coffee."
Eyes narrow, Jessica took a sip. Too bitter. Not like she remembered. Or maybe it was all just nostalgia.
"How are you?" Kilgrave asked gently.
"I don't know," said Jessica.
"Well, I'm glad I could bring you what you wanted, anyway… I'd like to put a smile on your face."
Jessica looked down at her coffee cup, frowning.
"I wanted to do something- Jessica, I… I've been doing a lot of thinking." Kilgrave set down his coffee cup on the table and sat down on the bed, reaching under the covers to rest his hand on Jessica's bare leg. "You know something? When you abandoned me, that night with Reva… I thought I hated you, really. And we met again, and… oh. Smile, Jessica."
Jessica's lips curled obediently upward, pressed lightly against the edge of her coffee cup.
"I didn't just hate you," he continued. "I wanted you dead… really wanted it, desperately. All that ugliness with Reva, and the bar, and Patsy, and… just all of it. I didn't think we would ever come back from that. And yet through it all, I couldn't escape my utter infatuation with you. It's so very animalistic; I can hardly even describe it. I wanted you, and I couldn't have you, and it drove me up the wall." Kilgrave pressed two fingers to his temple, frustrating himself as he tried to find the words. "I have you now. And all that hatred… all that ugliness between us… just thinking about it now makes me sick. It's all behind us. I have you. The one thing I couldn't have, and yet I have you. It just makes all the ugliness we went through seem so… avoidable. Like… I've always been telling myself there has something out of my reach, like I have to have limits. But looking at you now…" He leaned in, eyes crawling slowly up from Jessica's chest to her chin, which he placed a finger underneath. "It's all so… arbitrary, isn't it? My own limitations… it's not really a limit to my power, is it? It's a limit to my ambition. It's been that way all along. It's like I keep things deliberately out of my own reach. It's practically neurotic. It's not right." He stood, wandering to the still-open bedroom door. "With power like mine, limiting myself… it's a waste, isn't it?"
Jessica touched a hand to her chest, still smiling. Kilgrave looked back at her and chuckled.
"Set down that cup and come over here, Jessica," he commanded.
Jessica set the cup on the table, next to the phone. Her bare feet pressed against the cold wood on the floor, and she shivered. Her legs moved almost mechanically.
Now no longer covered by the blankets, the only thing between Jessica and the cold air of the apartment was a loose-fitting layer of bandages and her thin black lingerie. It felt horribly cold, at least to her.
Kilgrave scratched his chin and made his way into the living room of the apartment. Jessica followed closely behind him.
"I feel like we're in this… this lull," said Kilgrave, running both hands through his hair with apparent exasperation. "Like we aren't making any progress. D'you know what I mean?"
She nodded slightly. "I know what you mean…"
"I'm tired of wasting my time, Jessica," he said, almost groaning. "I'm tired of being limited. I'm tired of going around in circles. It's all so arbitrary. It's exhausting." He stared out the window of the apartment, the view of which was blocked by an enormous billboard. "Awful little apartment, isn't it? I'll get our home back. Just a matter of time. But I'm tired of running into these sorts of problems." He looked at Jessica again. "This is what I get for trying to hide! We shouldn't be hiding. We shouldn't have to. I just need a little more… range of influence, that's all…" He pressed one hand to the glass. "Just a little more influence."
Jessica sidled up next to him, arms hanging limply at her sides. She thought about Luke, and that sick needling feeling creeped up the back of her neck again.
All of a sudden, Kilgrave put his hands on her, running them down her sides over her bandages. His fingers stopped just above the edge of her panties, and they trembled on her lower back, giving Jessica goosebumps.
He leaned in to kiss her, and she preempted him, almost forgetting to breathe as she pressed her lips to his.
Kilgrave placed a hand on her shoulder, forcing her away from him after a long few seconds.
He looked her directly in the eyes. "Love me, Jessica."
Her eyelids fluttered. "…I love you."
They looked into each other's eyes, Jessica poring over his face with an adoring smile.
"No…" Kilgrave grimaced, stepping away from her to look out through the window again. "You don't…"
Jessica's smile didn't falter. Her hands trembled at her sides, and she pressed herself up next to him, still shivering. His sleeve brushed against her side.
"You'll come around, Jessica," he said quietly. "We're going to make it work. I'm going to make it work. I'm done going around in circles. And- ugh- and I'm done putting the both of us at risk- constantly hiding, putting ourselves at the mercy of everyone else…"
Kilgrave placed one hand against the glass. "I'm going to make it work. Just a matter of time."