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Challenges listed at the bottom.

Word Count - 601

Warning - Character Death Mentioned

What Might Have Been

Avada Kedavra

The spell had haunted Harry, long before he knew what it was. Written along his arm, he'd wondered what the made up words meant when he'd been old enough to read it. Something about it didn't feel right, so he'd hidden it from everyone around him.

Later, much later, when he learned what it actually was, he was glad that he had.

He got enough pity for things he had no control over, and he didn't need to add another to the mix. Of course, he'd come to the conclusion that whoever his soulmate was would eventually kill him. There wasn't really any other option.

Even in this, where almost everyone who found their soulmate was happy, he had to be different.

Of course, most people didn't know who their soulmate was until it was too late. Harry often wondered why fate was cruel enough to let people know the last thing their soulmate would say to them. He couldn't imagine how hard it would be to find out someone was your soulmate, only to lose them.

Not that it would matter to him, he supposed. Maybe that was a blessing in disguise, though, he didn't imagine many would look at it that way.

…

He didn't realise his words had changed from silver to black until he was in the shower. He wasn't surprised really. He'd suspected as much, and to have it confirmed hurt less than he'd imagined it would. Maybe he was just numb.

There was so much emotion inside him from the last two days, maybe even the last two years, and he couldn't even begin to work them out. What was a little bit of surprise against the mountain of grief? What was anger against the sadness?

What was a little bit more grief, piled onto the grief he already felt?

He climbed out of the shower and redressed, slipping his arm band over the words. Just because they'd been said, it didn't mean he had to let anybody see them.

Keeping it a secret had worked well for him so far, hadn't it?

…

The lanterns were dimly lit, and Kingsley rested a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Are you sure you want to be here for this?"

"I have too," Harry confirmed.

Kingsley nodded.

They stood together, Kingsley a calming presence for Harry to cling too, even if only in his mind, as the body of Lord Voldemort was incinerated.

"I can't believe he's actually gone," Harry whispered. "I can't believe it's done."

Kingsley sighed. "Nobody really considered the effect of you taking his life, did they?"

"I didn't take it," Harry said, shaking his head. "He gave it up years ago. I just… got rid of the shell, I guess."

Nodding, Kingsley said, "Well, if you need anyone to talk too… I'm willing to listen, Harry. Anytime, okay?"

"He was my soulmate," Harry admitted, gripping at the band on his arm. He slid it down, just enough to show Kingsley the words on his arm. "I think I always knew, from the first time I met him when I was eleven. I just… didn't want too."

Kingsley hesitated for a moment, and then shook his sleeve away, and pulled his own band down.

Crucio

"I like to think that, had I met her before the dark got such a grip on her, Bellatrix would have been different. It is okay to grieve for what might have been, Harry."

Harry stared for a long moment before he nodded and smiled slightly. It was nice, he thought, to know that at least someone understood.

Written for:

Romance Awareness, Day 27 - The last words your soulmate will ever say to you are written on you

Romance Awareness, Extra - 44. Theme: Secrets

365 - 240. Lantern

1000 - 438. Death