Arc 2: Nightmares, Chapter 1, The Night
[ So it has been about a week since I finished up Arc 1 of this story. I am sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out, most of the week was just planning out these chapters. The Eri chapter took a lot longer than I expected to do. But I have a plan so I have begun writing the first two chapters now. This first one is a bit short, but it is an intro for this arc, next one will be a little longer. Anyway, So just warning most of this arc will be purely IzuOcha, more will be done with other side characters and ships later. I have a tonne of cute scenes planned even though this first chapter is rather depressing and heavy. Also Thank you is a name of a chapter to please read it, I got some interesting messages from people confused about the ending of arc 1.]
Izuku POV:
"Izuku why?" howls Uraraka, I hear her but can't see her anywhere. It is just dark. "Why did you leave? Why weren't you strong enough?" she continues to howl, I feel my ears bleed with how pain filled her voice is it makes heartbreak into so many pieces I lost count. "Why didn't you save me?"
She flashes in front of me, bleeding and bruised. Her arms are covered in cuts everywhere. Her hero costume barely allows her to keep her decency in front of me. Her eyes, not the warm brown I love, but rather a darker more pain filled reddish brown.
"You're useless! You should have remained quirkless!" screams an infuriated voice I know all too well. "All Might picked you! You should have been better! You should have been strong enough!" it screams on. "Why couldn't you save them?" Kacchan screams as he appears before, blood dripping down his head, he raises his hand, cuts written up his arms.
Bang, he blows me backwards and into a wall. It hurt, my back feels like it had been broken in hundreds of places.
"I am here!" echoes a booming voice. "That is what I would be saying if you saved me!" All Might says appearing before me. His muscle form covered in gashes and cuts so deep I could see the bones. "You wanted to save everyone didn't you!" he screams at me, his eyes turned blood red instead of bright blue. "You where my successor! You failed!" his face grows angry, rage fills his eyes. "You can't become a hero!" with his final word, he punches me sending me flying like a bird. It felt like every single one of my bones broke and screamed out at once. But I just land in some sort of black water.
"You couldn't save your mother." My mother says as she appears a spike through her chest. Then she disappears just as fast as she appeared.
"You're a disgrace to your class and UA!" Iilda screams, only standing with one leg the rest of his body looks as if the skin had been ripped off it.
"We trusted you to save us all," Mina says, appearing next to Iilda her eyes no longer in her socket but her gaze still causes me to collapse. I want to vomit but my body isn't listening, it refuses to move or do as I say.
"Guess Bakugou was right," Kirirshima says, his back to me. "I refuse to look at you, it just sickens me."
"You said everything would be all right?" asks a familiar young voice, a young boys voice. I turn around to see a boy in a red hat with two horns. Then he looks at me, half his face crushed sagging to the side of his face, deformed as if all the bones had melted away. "You're not my hero!"
"I thought you were my best friend?" asks a calm voice, I would know it anywhere, next to iilda stands my half red half white-haired friend. "You did this to me!" he screams, rage burning inside him. "You couldn't save me!" Todoroki screams, his hair burning with the same intensity as his rage. His face covered in more burns and scars as if he had been grilled alive on a barbeque.
"Deku?" A little girl says, a voice I would know anywhere. A voice I was trying to save. "Why didn't you save me?" I look at the girl, her hair white as snow, but with red leeching out of her head. Her eyes filled with fear and confusion.
"Eri!" I yell, literally crawling through this black liquid towards her. It tries to stop me pulling me down into it with every attempt I make. "Eri, I will save you!" I say.
"Save me?" She asks tilting her head. "No, you did this to me." I freeze unable to move; my body feels like it was frozen from Todoroki's quirk. Then I hear it, it starts.
"Save me!" everyone screams as they walk towards me. My body can't move, I must watch as they come towards me. Arms stretched, ready to grab me. "Save me," they repeat, then again. Again. Again, I feel my body melt away into the black liquid, as they say, it over and over again.
As if I had been electrocuted, I shoot upright. Sweat drips down every part of my body that has exposed skin, my skin attached to my black tank top and shorts via my sweat. My heart is racing but feels broken. I start trembling and crying, uncontrollably the fear of that dream was all too real to deal with. Even though it was a week since the battle, a week since we won. It didn't feel like a victory.
"Why does this keep happening," I start to myself, without even thinking I am on my feet and looking in the mirror. "You look like a mess," I say to my reflection, bags under my eyes, the black highlights in my hair stand out now like a sore thumb. My skin is pale like a ghost and my freckles look more like some sort of disease than part of my normal appearance. "I need to get a drink."
As I walk downstairs, I sigh, every night since I have returned, I have walked downstairs and sat on the coach. Same routine, same nightmare and same fear.
Why am I so scared? I was never this scared after Stain?
Stain had been bad, but I coped with it, I became better from it. But this didn't feel the same way, it felt wrong. It felt like I was tearing myself apart from the inside, my body moved sluggishly as if someone had tied weights to my legs.
I finally reached the dimly light common room, nobody else dared move at this time of night. It was tranquil and somewhat calming, but also it was away from everyone was sleeping. I could cry and sob without anyone hearing, I don't want to make anyone worry. I am a hero, I am meant to save people from this.
"I will become stronger. I say trying to be brave trying to get past this all, trying to be better.
How though? You're a mess. How can you save anyone else? If you can't even save yourself?
That thought broke me, I collapse on the lounge crying uncontrollably. Unable to deal with this any longer. I just feel like curling up into a ball and dying. So, I try to, I curl up and close my eyes, hoping that these memories would go away. That I would be wrong.
I am sorry Uraraka. I am so pathetic, I couldn't save you. I care about you so much and I couldn't save you. You must think I am pathetic.
Aizawa POV:
"This is bad. This routine of Midoryia's is really affecting him. He always is awake just after midnight." I say watching my troublemaking student go back to the same routine I had watched for the past few nights.
"Hmm." Says a calm but extremely tired voice, I turn to see sea-green hair covering my vision. "This kid is in a bad place. You know about nightmares better than most. He will turn out like you if you're not careful. It will consume him unless you help." She says as she wraps her arms around my neck and planting a kiss on my freshly shaven cheek. "So nice that you shaved for me."
"Alright, Emi. I will be back soon." I say standing up and giving her a small smile before leaving the teachers dorms. The air is cool and crisp tonight, but nothing unpleasant. The walk wakes me up a bit, ridding me of pretty much all my tiredness. As I finally get to the 1A dorms I sigh, realizing the last time I was here was dragging Bakugou out by his collar.
At least Hound dog said he is making significant progress with him.
As I open the door, the lights turn on, covering the room with light. Everything is quiet. The only sound I hear is a small movement on the lounge.
"Midoryia your not getting punished. I am coming over to speak with you." I say as I walk over to the boy, I look down at my problem student who is still curled up in a ball with his eyes fixed on the floor.
"Sorry, Sir. I will go to bed now." He mumbles out into his knees.
"It's ok. We need to chat anyway." I say as I take a seat next to him.
"Sorry, sir. I didn't mean to disturb you." He says as if he was guilty of waking me up.
"No, you didn't, no alarms went off. Don't worry. Now tell me, what is wrong, why do you keep coming down here every night sweating and shaking?" I ask, knowing the answer but wanting him to admit it himself.
"Nightmares." He mumbles back, he has started trembling again, probably just at the thought of this nightmare or nightmares, he has been having recently.
"Yeah, I thought so. You know for eight years I suffered from nightmares. Only recently I was able to get a night of proper sleep." I sigh, running a few through my head, knowing just how scared and painful they can be. "Tell me what happened."
So, he began, he told me about how he was asked to be saved. How he feels like he can't save anyone, how he feels so useless as a hero. How people suffered because of him. It hurts to hear this, but it sounds all to like my own experience. The next step is to close off and remove everyone you care about from your life for their protection.
"I am sorry. I will deal with this." Midoryia says as he goes to stand up, revealing the full extent of his red eyes and his pale skin.
"No. This is part of my job. I know what you're going through, I lost a sidekick when I was just a new pro. He died and I couldn't save him, I had nightmares for years about different ways of him dying and me not able to do anything, not even comfort him as he died." Each word as I say it is painful, but I know I have to push through for my student, "Usually nightmares start and end with the people who you are most scared of losing. Or affecting. My nightmares always start with my sidekick."
And Emi.
"My dream started with Uraraka. Ended with Eri." He whimpers out almost ashamed.
"Why do you sound ashamed, I never said anything was against relationships, recently I have found having someone who supports you will improve you. Just because I work pro work mostly alone, doesn't mean I think it is always effective. It is also good you have a rock to fall back on, someone to hear you out and support you." I explain with thoughts of all the time Emi has helped me through things even if they are just recently. But even in the past when she would buy me coffee and bring it to the agency I worked at, late into the night, or how she would sit waiting for me to finish my paperwork in the early morning just reading or making small talk about her day.
"I think I have feelings for her. But I can't bear to hurt her if she doesn't. How can I save her from me?" he asks, I realize what is wrong.
"By instincts, you are a hero. You want to look after people and save them. You want to make them safe, don't you?" I ask looking at the boy for a response, which he nods, "You can't check on Eri since she is still in the hospital, but we can go check on Uraraka. Then you will know she is safe." I say standing up.
Midoryia joins me standing, still slightly shaking and clearly sweating. Much as I scold him for many things, he is a good student, he works hard, and it is slowly but surely developing a body fit to be a hero.
We then walk up the stairs towards the girl's dorms. The lights are all dimly on just enough to see but not enough to disturb people who are sleeping. As we reach the door with Uraraka's name I pause, to look at Midoryia.
Izuku POV:
As we get to the door, I feel myself shaking worse than before, I feel scared and as if I am about to die. I feel nervous as well.
What if she isn't alright? What if she is awake? What if she is hurt? Kidnapped? Alone? Dying all alone, because I wasn't there to protect her? What if she hates me now?
"It's ok Midoryia." Mr Aizawa says snapping me out of my thoughts. His gaze is stern like usual but softer and more caring. "Now come here," he says motioning for me to come towards the door. As he opens it a small dim light enters the dark room, no colours can be seen just her bedsheets.
She is asleep with her back to the door, I can see her brown hair resting on her pillow, just seeing her makes me feel safer. I resist the urge to run over to her and cuddle with her, I know deep down I would feel better if she just holds me. I know she is one of the few things in this world I feel safe around.
"She's safe," I say sighing with a wave relief flowing over me,
"Yes, she has me watching over her, same with the rest of the class. I won't let anything happen to them. So, sleep well knowing that she is only a hallway away." Aizawa says to me, it makes me feel a little better. But I still want to run to her and cuddle her like there is no tomorrow.
"Sir, thank you for this. I hope my nightmares will stop, at least for tonight. Knowing that at least Uraraka is safe." I say as slowly Mr Aizawa closes the door to Uraraka's room.
"It's ok. Just don't let these fears consume you. Or let your nightmares get the better of you. Now go get some tea and then go to sleep." He orders as we slowly move downstairs and back into the common room.
"Thank you again, sir," I say, taking the what he says. Visiting Uraraka made me feel at least a little better and I have stopped shaking a little now.
"I know how you feel for her. That feeling that won't ever go away once it's there. The feeling that you must hold onto them no matter what. You can try and hide it, but it will always be there." Aizawa says as he looks out the window at the night sky.
"What do you suggest I do about them? Will they affect my hero work? I want to be a hero, but I want to be there for her just as much." I say, to which I get a small smile, not the large grin I am used to but a small happy smile.
"You hold onto those feelings. When the time is right to express them. Feelings for a fellow hero especially romantic ones will drive you to be better for them. So, you can always protect them, even though they can protect themselves. Just don't deny it for too long." Mr Aizawa says as he walks out of our dorms and into the cool night.
"Thank you again," I say to a closed door. I move to make some tea for myself and settle in just with my thoughts and to calm my nerves down before going to bed again. It is relaxing, the lights still fully on but the sound of some wind outside snaps me back to my senses and I hear another sound. I hear footsteps from the stairs.
Aizawa POV:
I enter the teacher's dorms and are greeted by my sea green-haired girlfriend literally leaping at me. I somehow manage to catch her and hold her close. I feel safe and love as I hold her in my arms, I didn't even realize my shirt was wet from her tears.
As soon as I do, I look down at her, I see red puffy eyes and fear. I instantly hold her tighter, just hoping that she would be ok.
"It's ok Emi. I am here now." I say as I squeeze her into my chest. "What is wrong?" I ask,
"I went to sleep, and I watched you just leave me. Telling me you never loved me. I know it wasn't real but…" she cries out into my chest. "I just couldn't take the thought of you leaving me again."
"Shh. Never again. I won't ever leave you again." I say as I pick her up and move her into my room. I quickly place her onto my bed. I slide into bed next to her, holding her under the sheets as close as I can to my body. "Is there anything I can do for you?" I ask,
"Just hold me," she responds as she nuzzles herself into my chest. "Just hold me for tonight."
"I can hold you," I say as wrap my arms around her and making sure she feels safe. It feels nice to have her body literally pressing against mine, leaving pretty much nothing to the imagination.
Then thunder strikes, with a loud boom. She jumps almost scaring me. But I only hold her tighter, I know she is in a bad place, she has never been good in storms plus the nightmares before this. She must be so scared.
"Are you ok?" I ask, concerned as I look down at my now shaking girlfriend.
"No." she whimpers out.
"Why are you afraid of thunderstorms?" I ask cautiously not wanting to scare her anymore or hurt her.
"Because they took my grandmother away, after that I am scared, they are coming for me. Stupid fear." she whimpers out into my chest before looking at me tears finding homes at the bottom of her eyes.
"I knew you were scared but I never imagined that. I won't let them get you. Not while I am around." I say kissing her forehead.
"Thank you." She whimpers out tiredly before I knew it her head is resting against my chest and I can feel her constant breath. She is asleep on top of me, hopefully, she can get a good night sleep now.
Crack. Another thunder strike and I feel Emi start shaking again, trembling in absolute fear. I just tighten my grip, then I stay like that, holding her. Letting her get to sleep finally, allowing me to comfort her for once.
"I love you Emi," I whisper into her ear and then I drift off to sleep.
[Thanks, guys, for reading again. Sorry about taking so long to release it. I like to thank you all for supporting me and reading this story. I will have another chapter for you either early next week or tomorrow depending on how busy I am. The next chapter will be called,
Can you hold me
Thanks again guys! And remember to GO BEYOND PLUS ULTRA!]