Miia, Papi, and Cerea sat inside at desks as Freckle floated in front of them next to a whiteboard, markers floating around him as he began his lesson. [Initiating Interspecies Exchange Bill Review,] Freckle declared flatly. [This unit will cover pertinent information regarding the Bill, and how it applies to new Lieutenants as members of Blue Team under Captain Caboose. Lieutenant Miia, Lieutenant Papi, Lieutenant Cerea, attend the lesson.]

All three girls sat up straighter to pay attention, each with their conflicting thoughts. Miia was a bit put out that she wasn't getting to give the lesson, feeling that since she lived with Caboose, she had seniority and thus should have more privileges. Papi was doing her best to focus on the lesson, and not her empty tummy…despite the fact she'd just had breakfast. Cerea was frustrated that – despite being Caboose's 'squire' and thus most important servant – was placed at the same rank as Miia and Papi and was forced to take head to the machines.

[First rule,] Freckle continued, [humans and demi-humans are not allowed to harm each other. In autonomous mode, machines are security systems. We have more freedom in that regard.] The markers sketched designs on the whiteboard to illustrate. The first drawing was Miia striking a human with her tail, with a large X through it. The second was Papi being chased by a human with a sword, also with an X through it. The third was Freckles firing missiles at the racist couple Miia had met, and Freckle levitating Cerea. Both images were given green checkmarks, much to Miia and Cerea's frustration. Papi found it hilarious.

[Second, demi-human officers are not to leave the Base unaccompanied by Host officers,] Freckle continued. [This unit qualifies, allowing Lieutenant Papi to go for flights without Captain Caboose's supervision. All other excursions require that supervision.]

Cerea smiled a bit smugly at that. After all, she was awake every morning and evening when Caboose went out for his runs with Polt, and Cerea had joined every one. That certainly gave her a leg up on Miia and Papi…though she knew she would at best be a 'close second' to Polt, who she now was obliquely attempting to encourage Caboose towards pursuing romantically. After all, the rules about 'the purity of the representative' didn't apply to the Kobolds either, as they had a completely different view of 'purity' to the other demi-human races. As long as Caboose never tried to keep her from her endeavors in favor of 'interpersonal' activities – which he never would – the Kobolds would have no complaints about anything that happened between Polt and Caboose.

[Third and most important,] Freckle concluded, [the chain of command is absolute. All Lieutenants obey the Captain. Lieutenants do not have authority over each other. Mech units exist to enforce the authority of the Captain.]

"That's not part of the Bill!" Cerea interrupted angrily.

[Correct. That is the rule of Blue Team.]

As the three girls struggled through this, Caboose stepped into the room. "Cerea, the scary Smith lady wants to know if you're done filling out your apple-occasion. Oh! And is your hoof better from this morning? You were limping after you kicked me in the head."

"What?" Miia hissed out, rounding on Cerea.

"I-I can explain…" Cerea began carefully.

"I went to draw your morning bath after our run, Miia!" Caboose called out happily. "Cerea was in there using the shower. Not sure why she kicked me, though. I hope she didn't hurt herself seriously."

[Rule four of Interspecies Blue Base,] Freckle continued. [Captain Caboose is incredibly durable. Rule one should especially be followed in his case. You are far more likely to injure yourself striking him than harm him…and harm to Captain Caboose will be dealt with swiftly and decisively.] It might have been because his body was based on an alien device, but Freckle was far more verbose and eloquent than Freckles was.

"I did not mean to strike him," Cerea added firmly. "He…startled me."

Miia paused, remembering how Caboose tended to react when Agent Smith startled him. "…maybe we should all wear bell collars, so we all know when someone's coming so no one gets startled?" she suggested nervously.

"I like bell collars!" Caboose declared happily. "They're adorable!"

[Bell collars have been added to Blue Team uniform,] Freckle declared. [They shall be acquired at next opportunity, and worn at all times.]

"…I don't get it…" Papi murmured sadly as she struggled to find an orientation for the book that covered the Interspecies Exchange Treaty that would make sense to her.

"I shall help you!" Caboose declared, picking up the book and turning it this way and that. He hummed a few times as he struggled to make sense of it. Eventually, he tossed it over his shoulder. "Book's not important!" he declared proudly. "Heart important! Blue Team is a family, so we treat each other as family! We look out for each other, and don't let each other get in trouble. Just follow my lead, and everything will be just fine!"

"Papi gets that!" Papi declared happily, wrapping her wings around Caboose's arm, clinging eagerly to him. "Papi just does whatever husband says!"

"H-husband?!" Miia and Cerea demanded in shock.

"…husband?" Caboose asked in confusion.

"…and I thought the higher ups were crazy," Agent Smith murmured as she watched.

"WAAAUGH!" Caboose screamed as he leapt away from her.

"WAAUGH!" Papi called out, leaping with Caboose.

[Captain Caboose stress levels increased,] Freckle proclaimed. [Lieutenant Papi stress levels increased.] The optic began to glow red. [Determining threat. Acquiring target.]

"It's just me!" Agent Smith called out defensively as she backed away.

"Oh, scary Smith lady!" Caboose greeted happily. "You were being scary!"

[No hostile targets detected,] Freckle concluded as its optic returned to normal.

"What were you saying about the higher ups being crazy?" Miia asked curiously.

"There's…a new part of the treaty they wanted me to bounce off Caboose…but I didn't think it could apply to him, given he's…well, Caboose," Smith concluded. "Not to mention he's only staying for a year. But with his talk about you all being a family…"

[Scanning treaty document…section confirmed,] Freckle declared. [Topic is the matter of human/demi-human marriage.]

"…what's marriage?" Caboose asked in confusion.

Smith rubbed her forehead. "And that's why I didn't think it would be good to start here…"

"Marriage is life mates!" Papi piped up happily.

"Friends for life?" Caboose declared eagerly. "I love that!"

"It's not just friendship!" Cerea managed to stammer out quickly. "Marriage is…a promise to stand together for life, to love each other, care for each other, and…m-m-make children together."

Caboose stared at Cerea for a time. "So…nobody ever goes away or stops being friends? Better than BFFs?"

"…much better," Cerea allowed, uncertain what else to say.

"…that is amazing!" Caboose declared happily. "I want to marriage all my friends!"

"There's more to marriage than just friendship," Smith interrupted. "There's also the matter of attraction and compatibility."

"…but magnets aren't good for computers!" Caboose pointed out logically. "Like Emps! An Emp killed Church once…but I got the other Church out of range, so he came back."

"I mean…do you find yourself drawn to Cerea?" Smith suggested in desperation.

Caboose was silent for a time, then chuckled. "Silly scary Smith lady, Cerea doesn't have her own gravity well! Her breasts aren't that big!"

Cerea blushed brightly as she self-consciously covered her breasts. "M-master…"

Smith turned to Freckle in desperation. "Help?"

[Captain Caboose, marriage is a question of sexual attraction as well as romantic attraction.]

Caboose stared at Freckle. "…what's romance? What's sect-you-all at-rack-shun? Sounds cultish."

"That's when you have naughty thoughts!" Papi piped up happily. "Like wondering what you look like naked!"

Caboose gasped happily. "Oh! You mean if I find someone sexiful!" Caboose declared in understanding. "Like James Bond does! Yes, Miia, Papi, Cerea, Polt, and scary Smith lady are very sexiful!"

As the girls blushed at the compliment, Smith's face turned scarlet. Wait…he's not thinking of asking me to…?

"But I still don't get row-man-tick ent-angle-mints," Caboose continued. "Hmm…oh! I'll ask Polt to explain it to me during tonight's run! I need to ask her to be my marriage friend, too!" He glanced out the window. "Wow, time flies! It's time for night run already!"

As Caboose turned to run, Agent Smith rubbed her forehead. "I feel like I forgot to tell him something important…" she murmured as she turned to leave.

[Query,] Freckles spoke up as she passed his repair shed. [Are Kobolds influenced by the full moon as other demi-humans are?]

Smith's face paled. "…oh crap…"

Omake!

As Caboose sat around one day with the girls, Miia turned to Caboose. "Darling…what's your fetish?"

Caboose turned to look at her. "What's a fetish?"

"It's…something that's a particular turn on for you," Miia tried to explain.

"…I'm not a computer," Caboose pointed out logically. "I don't turn on and off."

Miia turned to Cerea, hoping for help explaining. Cerea sighed. "Master, a fetish is…something in particular you find exceptionally appealing in others. The thing you'd really want a partner to have more than anything."

"…I don't think I get it," Caboose responded awkwardly.

"For example…" Miia began, lifting her shirt. "I'm really confident in my waist, since lamia movement is swaying back and forth. Those muscles get a lot of exercise! Or…Cerea's breasts are huge! Some guys like that."

"All centaurs have exceptionally large breasts!" Cerea declared defensively. "Because of the size of our infants, we must produce a great deal of milk!"

"But milk comes from mammaries," Caboose pointed out, "and Mama said those don't develop in girls as active glands until they make a baby. Was Mama wrong?"

Cerea hesitated. "…why do I have such large breasts when I'm not producing milk yet?" she murmured wonderingly, staring self-consciously down at her breasts.

"So!" Miia piped up, hoping to change the subject. "Does that mean Papi's best feature…is her butt?"

"What about my butt?" Papi asked curiously as she bent over, revealing her exceptionally well-shaped posterior.

Caboose thought about everything the girls were saying. He finally spoke up. "Brains!"

"Eh?" the girls asked in confusion.

"I'm not that smart," Caboose explained plainly. "I have lots of skills, but I need someone to tell me what to do so I don't mess up. So my partner needs to know what to tell me to do…which means they must be smarter than me! So I guess my fetish is brains!"

Agent Smith carefully removed herself from the scene before any eyes turned her way.