Hi everyone! Sorry for the wait. You have no idea how hard it was thinking up so many ideas and arranging them in near perfect order. I've decided to turn this chapter into two parts because of its length. I also wanted to thank all of you for contributing your ideas, I've tried to use as many as I could.
"Are there anymore witnesses?" Judge Martha asked.
"As a matter of fact, there is, your honor," the prosecutor answered with a smile. "I would like to call to the witness stand, Bud Grouse."
The courtroom doors opened and in walked the Louds' grouchy elderly neighbor, Mr. Grouse. He took the oath and took a seat in the witness stand.
"Mr. Bud Grouse," the prosecutor addressed the witness. "Do you recognize anyone in this room?"
"As a matter of fact, I do," the grumpy old timer answered and pointed to the Loud family. "Those troublemakers are my next-door neighbors. Always causing a ruckus and disturbing the rest of the neighborhood. And don't get me started on the 'Dirty Sock' incident."
"Were you aware of what was going on during the last few weeks?"
"Whatever that family does is none of my –"
"Did you or did you not know what was going on with the Louds during the last few weeks?" the prosecutor asked more aggressively.
"Y…yes, I did," the intimidated Mr. Grouse answered. "I heard they kicked their only boy out for being bad luck."
"So you knew what they were doing to that child, and yet you didn't report it to the authorities."
"Well, what they do to each other is none of my business, right?" Mr. Grouse was starting to feel nervous. "They're lousy neighbors, it's not like I owe them anything."
"Funny," the prosecutor said is a doubtful tone. "I heard that that boy once organized a way to give you a great Christmas present: a trip so you could visit your family. And you think, after such an act of generosity, that you don't owe him anything?"
"Well… I…" the now nervous and sweaty old timer stammered.
"That is all. Thank you for your time, Mr. Grouse," the prosecutor dismissed him. Mr. Grouse walked away sweating as he heard people murmuring as he passed by. "Your honor, we would like to call Mr. Hugh to the stand."
"I object, your honor," the defense attorney shouted. "This person was not present at the time of the incident. His testimony is irrelevant."
"Your honor, the prosecution has gone to great lengths and considerable costs to gather these witnesses. It is imperative that we establish that this isn't an isolated incident. It's part of a pattern of this anti-social behavior that has been going on for years."
"Objection overruled," the judge declared.
Sure enough, in walked Hugh, Lincoln's former tutor. As he walked to the witness stand, he sure enough caught the eyes of the Loud sisters and their father.
"Ba…ba…ba…" the infatuated sisters stammered as their faces turned red. Hugh ignored them as he took the oath and then took a seat.
"Tell me, Mr. Hugh," the prosecutor said to the British community college student. "Do you recognize anyone in this room?"
"Yes sir," Hugh politely answered. "That young man over there is Lincoln Loud." He gave the white haired adolescent a friendly smile and waved to him, both which the unhealthy boy returned. "He was struggling in school, so I became his tutor. Such a nice lad, and he's actually smarter than he himself thinks he is."
"Do you also recognize these people?" the prosecutor asked pointing to the rest of the Louds.
Upon seeing the infatuated and love-struck faces of the girls, Hugh's face started turning white and sweaty. "That I do, governor," he nervously replied. "While I was trying to help Lincoln with his studies, his sisters kept trying to get my attention. They kept asking me to help them with other things. I don't even think they really paid any attention to anything I was trying to teach them, most of them just stared into my eyes or something."
"I'm sorry, what was that last part?" a lovesick Leni interrupted. "I was busy staring into your eyes."
"See what I mean?" Hugh continued. "Now things didn't look too bad at first. But they kept insisting and insisting on being around me. It was really uncomfortable." As Hugh explained, most of the sisters snapped out of their lovesickness as it dawned on them that he was testifying against them. "It got even worse when that bloke joined in," Hugh said pointing to the family's patriarch.
"Let the record show that he was pointing to Lynn Loud Sr.," the prosecutor said.
Rita turned to her husband and gave him a face that screamed 'What the Heck?!' to which he nervously shrugged at as if trying to say 'I have no idea what he's saying'.
"Things got so crazy, I had to get out of there as fast as I could," Hugh continued. "They even chased me down the street! I thought I'd never lose them!" He then stopped talking and started hyperventilating.
"Easy there," the prosecutor consoled the hyperventilating college student. "Just calm down. So not only did they interfere with their brother's studies, but what they did to you was practically stalking, invasion of personal space, and possible sexual harassment."
"Yes!" Hugh replied as he calmed himself down.
Lori turned her head and saw her boyfriend, Bobby Santiago, glaring at her from the gallery. He obviously did not appreciate his girlfriend making goo-goo eyes at another man. All Lori could do was give him a nervous smile and wave 'hi' to him.
"No further questions, your honor," the prosecutor announced and Hugh was excused.
"Eh, he wasn't that good a tutor anyway," Lynn Jr. remarked.
"We would like to call our next witness, Reggie Jones, to the stand."
"Reggie Jones, who's that?" Lana asked.
"I don't know, dudes," Luna replied.
"Me neither," Luan added.
Even Lincoln didn't who that was.
Then in walked a tall, burly, angry-looking dark skinned man with black short faux hawk hair, a long mustache, wearing a uniform with an apron.
"Hey look, it's the manager of the Super Mart," Leni said noticing him.
"Uh-oh!" the rest of the sisters said in unison when they saw him.
After taking a seat. Reggie was ready to answer some questions.
"Mr. Jones, you are the manager of the Super Mart, correct?" the prosecutor asked.
"Indeed I am," Reggie answered in a serious no-nonsense voice. "I run my store in an orderly fashion, making sure none of my customers cause any trouble. But then, they came! All the roughhousing and noise! They ended up making a huge mess of my store, so I had them banned. Rotten hooligans!"
"So they messed up your store and disrupted your business?" the prosecutor asked for confirmation.
"That's right!" Reggie replied with absolution.
"No further questions asked," the prosecutor announced. Reggie stepped down from the stand and left. "Our next witness is… Lindsey Sweetwater."
"Oh great!" Lola said in an unhappy tone. It was no surprise that her archrival would use this as an opportunity to take her down.
Sure enough, in walked a little girl about Lola's age with long orange hair with curls at the bottom wearing pink lipstick, a teal bow, white pearl earrings, long teal evening gloves, and a teal dress with frills at the bottom. She was also carrying a teal parasol with her. Lindsey and Lola exchanged glares to one another for a moment before she took her seat.
"Miss Sweetwater," the prosecutor politely addressed the young pageant participant. "Is it true that you are familiar with a few of the people in this room."
"That's right," she replied. "I know him," she pointed to Lincoln. "And I definitely know her!" she pointed to Lola.
"Then tell us, how is it that you are acquainted with Lola Loud?"
"Whenever she wins a pageant, I can always be found right behind her!" Lindsey explained while clearly trying not to let her frustration get the better of her.
"I object to this witness, your honor," the defense attorney said. "She clearly has some sort of personal vendetta against one of the defendants which makes her unethical."
"Hey, don't all the other witnesses have some sort of grudge against the Louds and yet you let them speak," Lindsey argued. "This is a place where justice is served, where the wronged come to see those who have wronged them pay for their sins. I am one such person. I am here because one of those people has wronged me!" She pointed at the Louds. Then she put on an adorable sad face with tears beginning to well up in her eyes. "How can you properly punish her for her crimes if you don't know what they are? How can you decide if she's guilty of this crime if you don't know her history? How can I receive the justice that I have long deserved if you won't hear me out?" She then looked to everyone in the courtroom watery puppy dog eyes earning the sympathy of many attendees and jurors.
"Objection overruled," the judge declared.
After wiping her crocodile tears away, Lindsey gave a smug look to Lola which practically said 'Pretty good acting, right?' which made the pageant winner seethe with anger.
"So Miss Sweetwater," the prosecutor spoke. "What terrible things has Miss Loud done?"
"I think the better question is… what hasn't she done?" she responded. So Lindsey told the entire courtroom all the terrible things she knew Lola was responsible for. After that, the prosecution had no more questions to ask and she was excused. As she walked out, she gave her archrival a very smug and triumphant grin which made Lola's face turn red with rage.
"Next, I would like to call to the stand, Roberto Santiago."
Lori's face lit up when she heard the name of her boyfriend. She believed her beloved 'Boo-Boo Bear' would surely try to help her out of this mess. Once he had taken a seat, the 17-year-old Mexican-American was ready for questioning.
"Mr. Santiago, is it true that you well acquainted with a few members of this family?" the prosecutor asked.
"Yes sir," Bobby nervously answered. "Lori is my girlfriend, and Lincoln is like the little brother I never had. He also has a relationship with my sister, Ronnie Anne."
Hearing this, both Lincoln and Ronnie Anne's faces turned bright red and they nervously shook their heads in denial.
"Did you accompany them during any of their special events?"
"Well, I did help the whole family support Lynn during one of her ball games."
"But not everyone in that family was there weren't they?"
"N… no," the 17-year-old nervously answered.
"Were you aware that his sisters were recently going through a phase where they believed he was bad luck?"
Bobby gulped nervously. This was a question he didn't want to answer but knew he had to. "Yes. I did."
This made the prosecutor and the judge raise their eyebrows in suspicion. Even Ronnie Anne was giving her brother uncomfortable looks from the gallery. Sensing this made the Mexican-American teenager's anxiety level rise. But luckily, he regained his composure.
"But if I knew what they were doing, I would've done something about it."
"What?!" both Lori and Lynn exclaimed in surprise.
"That's right," Bobby said turning to his girlfriend with a dead serious look on his face. His tone implied that he didn't want to say what he was about to say, but he knew he had to. "Lori, I love you, babe. When you first told me that your brother was bad luck, I believed you. I admit it. But had I known you'd eventually take things too far, kicking him out of the house, I never would've supported it. Now Lori, I don't want to tell you how to be a good big sister to your siblings. But how can you, or anyone else, possibly use superstition as justification to treat someone, your own brother, so inhumanely?! I would never do something like that to Ronnie Anne, no matter what!"
"But… but… Boo-Boo Bear!" the eldest Loud sister pleaded. "I didn't want his bad luck to ruin our relationship!"
Bobby just looked at her with an expression of great disappointment. That was all she could say in her defense?! "You know something, Lori? This whole 'Lincoln is bad luck' thing has caused me to start thinking very seriously about you and me. I go where you want to go. I eat what you want to eat. I watch what you want to watch. I wear what you want me to wear! Don't you think of anyone other than yourself?!"
"I think about YOU!" Lori replied. Her voice was full of desperation and her eyes were full of tears. "I think about you all the time, Boo-Boo Bear!"
"But you don't think nearly enough about your own siblings. Well, not your brother at least," Bobby retorted. "I'm sorry, Lori. But I can't in good conscience allow you or your family to get away with something like this. It's over."
Hearing that made the eldest Loud sister's heart sink and their eyes leak. This was the second time her boyfriend had broken up with her, but this time it felt more painful.
"Lincoln," Bobby turned to his ex's kid brother. "I'm sorry, bro."
"Me too, bro," Lincoln sadly replied.
"That is all, thank you," the prosecutor dismissed the Mexican-American.
Lori watched with a heavy heart as her once-beloved 'Boo-Boo Bear' returned to his seat. He didn't even look at her as he walked by. Bobby himself was feeling just as much misery as his now ex-girlfriend. He felt he was also to blame for what happened to Lincoln. In some ways, Bobby was a lot like Leni, nice but naïve. He also knew that this wouldn't be the end of it. His little sister, Ronnie Anne, was surely going to have a talk with him later, and it wasn't going to be pleasant. Meanwhile, some of the Loud sisters were trying to cheer Lori up. Lincoln could only watch sadly as his eldest sibling cried her eyes out.
"Don't worry, Lori," Lynn said in a seemingly sympathetic tone. "There's lots of other fish in the sea. Besides, after that, I'm not sure he was really the guy for you."
Just then, Lori's sadness quickly turned into rage. She then picked the insensitive athlete up by the collar of her jersey and started violently shaking her with clenched teeth and fire in her eyes.
"WHAT?! WHAT DID I DO?!" Lynn asked as she was being shook. Lori only stopped when she heard the sound of a gavel hitting a sound block.
"Order in the court!" the judge demanded. "Break it up!"
"Our next witness will be members of the Royal Woods Squirrels," the prosecutor announced.
"Alright!" Lynn exclaimed with excitement. "I'm friends with everyone on my team. They'll definitely vouch for me."
Soon enough, five members of the softball team were at the stand, including Lynn's best friend, Margo Roberts.
"So ladies," the prosecutor addressed the middle school athletes. "Can you tell the court about your team captain, Lynn Loud?"
"She's got skill," said a dark-skinned team member with black hair.
"And she puts a lot of herself in the things she does," Margo added.
Lynn beamed with pride as she listened to the comments from her teammates.
"But that she's also an arrogant idiot," a team member with blonde hair, a ponytail, and buck teeth suddenly said.
"What?!" Lynn honestly didn't expect this. "How dare you! Guys, you won't let that traitor's slander go unchallenged will you?"
"No way!" a portly red-haired team member with buck teeth replied. "She forgot to mention that you're also absolutely insane."
"WHAT!?"
"Lynn, you may have the skills to be a good athlete," said a team member with glasses and orange hair. "But you also have by far the worst form of sportsmanship I have ever seen."
"You throw aggressive tantrums when you don't get your way," said the blonde member. "And blame everything on someone else."
"You do stupid and annoying dances when you win that are so embarrassing they make victory bittersweet for the rest of us," the portly member complained.
"Your superstitions are the WORST part of you," the dark-skinned member angrily added. "You perform these stupid rituals and force us to participate in them too, like not letting us use the bathroom until after the game!" Hearing this made everyone in the room gasp and exclaim in utter disgust.
"You all know the rules," Lynn argued. "Never go number two until we're number one! And I'm not about to risk victory just so you can feel a little premature relief."
"Well, I'm not going to have to make another appointment to the doctor!" the portly member retorted.
"Every time you make us do this, we have to go see the doctor," the member with the glasses said.
"And he keeps telling us not to do it!" the blonde member angrily added. "He even said that to you!"
"Yeah, why do you think I don't see that quack anymore?!" Lynn responded.
"We've had enough of you bossing us around, and we're not going to take it anymore!" the dark-skinned member declared.
"Listen you backstabbing whiners!" Lynn angrily threatened. "I'll do what I want because I'm the team captain, and there's nothing any of you can do about it! Now start defending me and maybe I won't think about kicking any of you off the team." The girls just scoffed at her threat.
"You're so full of it," the blonde member mockingly responded.
"I'm Lynn Loud Jr.!" Lynn furiously declared. "I'm a winner, and winners never lose! I'm Royal Woods' champion of sports! I'm the chosen one of the softball gods! Without me, you guys could never hope to win anything! You owe me for helping you get this far! I command your respect!"
"Well guess what, 'Lynn-sanity'," the dark-skinned member retorted. "Respect isn't a right, it's a privilege. It's earned!"
Hearing this made Lynn so mad, she stopped talking and her left eye started twitching with rage. How dare they use her own words against her!
"Hey, that's almost exactly what you said to Lincoln last night," Leni obliviously pointed out making her younger sister's eye twitch even more.
"Sorry Lynn," the member with the glasses said. "But we're not about to ruin our health or our futures just so you can satisfy your ego."
"Margo!" Lynn desperately called to her friend. "Please say you won't let this injustice happen to me. You're my best friend!"
Margo's face did not have a lot of hostility or resentment as the others. Instead, it had traces of disappointment and pity. "Lynn, good friends support each other. But a better friend lets her friend know when she's wrong."
This response made a look of betrayal form on Lynn's face. "So you're against me too?" Then the look of betrayal turned into a look of anger. To Lynn, this felt more like an insult than friendly advice. "Fine, I don't need you. I DON'T NEED ANYONE!"
Lynn's outburst hit Margo like a giant semi-truck. Tears formed in her eyes as her heart broke in two. Unlike the other team members, Margo genuinely considered Lynn her friend and wanted to help in any way she could. Even if it meant trying to get her to see the error of her ways, which now looked like an impossible task.
After it was clear that no further questions were needed, the five girls were dismissed. Every one of them, with the exception of the heartbroken Margo, glared at Lynn as they walked by. Even the rest of her family looked quite appalled by the things she said. Lincoln, who had witnessed the whole thing shook his head in sadness and pity. His sister's uncontrollable ego was destroying everything.
For a moment, Lynn actually felt some remorse for what she said to her friend. But her ego told her it was too late and she hardened her heart. Right now, she had to focus on taking care of number one: herself.
"Your honor, our next witness is the coach of the Royal Woods Squirrels," the prosecutor announced and in walked Lynn's softball coach.
"Finally!" Lynn exclaimed with relief. "He'll sort this out."
"Sir," the prosecutor addressed the man. "Would you kindly tell us about Lynn Loud?"
"Well," the coach began. "She's got skill and confidence, can't argue with that. Although, quite a few of the other members of the team have made a lot of complaints about her. One of the biggest ones is that she takes her superstitions too far. Now I don't care whether my players believe in these things or not, as long as it doesn't interfere with our team's progress. However, some have even threatened to quit the team if I didn't do something about it. Now I've known Lynn for quite some time, and have always considered her the best on the team. However, recent events have made me realize she wasn't quite what I thought she was."
"Was it when you heard about what she did to her brother?" the prosecutor asked.
"Yes, but I really started to suspect something was wrong…" the coach turned his attention to the Louds with a very disapproving look. "…when her family stole the mascot suit."
Hearing this made the entire courtroom gasp in shock. Lynn Sr., Rita, and most of the sisters sank in their seats while the defense attorney stared at them in disbelief.
"Take a note that Exhibit C is also stolen," the prosecutor ordered the court reporter.
"But coach," Lynn pleaded. "I need that thing more than anyone!"
"Lynn," the coach began. "I have been able to tolerate your fantasies until now. This time, you've taken things too far. You've embarrassed the Royal Woods Squirrels."
"I'm the one who carries the Royal Woods Squirrels!" the athlete argued. "Listen, if Lincoln hadn't come that day, we would've never lost that game. Without that suit, he's a ticking time bomb of bad luck. Just look at him!" She pointed accusingly to her brother, who had his face buried in his hands. "I bet he's thinking about what kind of horrible luck to bestow upon us as we speak!"
"Something bad happens, everyone blames me, things get out of control, I get sick, and now the authorities are involved!" Lincoln anxiously thought to himself. "This has all turned into a big giant mess! It's just like that 'Dirty Sock' incident, only this time I don't think Clyde brought the towels!" Then he turned to Derek. "Excuse me, but you wouldn't happen to have a towel on you by chance would you?"
"Your teammates are right, Lynn," the coach said. "While you may be the best athlete on our team, you've behavior is absolutely unprofessional and unsportsmanlike. When a team suffers a loss in a game, they are the ones who have to take responsibility for it. There is no bad or good luck involved, nor are there any 'softball gods'."
"BLASPHEMY!" Lynn screamed.
"Order in the court!" the irritated judge demanded.
"And because of your atrocious behavior," the coach continued. "I feel I have no choice but to kick you off the team." Everyone in the family, including Lincoln, gasped in shock and horror at this declaration. Sports were everything to Lynn, and not being able to do even one was like a bite from a venomous snake.
"You CAN'T do this!" Lynn anxiously begged. "You need me! I'm the only one who can win the championship! I'm the one chosen by the softball gods!"
"My decision is final!" the coach refused.
"Then you have brought the wrath of the gods down upon us all!" Lynn angrily declared.
"I think we've heard enough," the prosecutor interrupted and dismissed the coach.
Lynn sat in her seat pouting as her now former softball coach walked away with a look of great disappointment on his face. Lynn felt completely betrayed by her friends, teammates, and now her coach. The only beings she felt she could still rely on were the gods she claimed to serve.
"We would now like to call in Dr. Quinn," the prosecutor announced.
"Oh great!" Lynn groaned in displeasure. "Dr. Quack!"
A tall slender man with brown hair and a moustache, wearing a white lab coat, a red necktie, a head mirror, and a stethoscope walked in. He immediately shot an angry look at the Louds before taking the stand.
"Doctor," the prosecutor addressed the man. "Would you tell us about your history with the defendants?"
"Well, Lynn Jr. used to be one of my patients." The man's tone implied that he did not have very fond memories of her. "Despite what she may claim, Lynn has a lot of health issues, such as the damage she's causing her digestive system by refusing the use the bathroom when her body tells her." As the doctor talked, Lynn made mocking mimicries of him with her hand. "Aside from her physical issues, her mental issues are the biggest problem. She is by far the most stubborn patient I've ever had. When I try to help her, she insults me and ignores everything I say. In our last appointment, I tried showing her an x-ray of the state of her digestive system. She refused to take even one look at it, claiming it would be 'bad luck'."
"Where did you get your doctor's license, from a print shop?!" the athlete mocked him.
The doctor glared to her for a brief moment before continuing. "And when I tried to tell her parents, they thought it would be a better idea to listen to her rather than a professional who knew more than anyone about this matter. Now look what their ignorance has caused!" Then the doctor stood up and started waving his index finger disapprovingly at the family. "Shame on you!"
Lynn Sr. and Rita sank in their seats, embarrassment and shame plastered all over their faces.
"Thank you doctor, that will be all," the prosecutor dismissed the man. "The next witness is Bruno Arachnia."
"Who's that?" Lola asked.
"The name doesn't register in my hippocampus," Lisa said. "It doesn't ring a bell."
"Where have I seen that name before?" Lynn Sr. asked himself. Apparently the name sounded familiar to him.
Then in walked a big, portly man with a brown beard and hair with a ponytail, wearing a dark blue suit, black gloves and boots, a fumigator, and a pair of goggles on his forehead.
"The Spider Exterminator!" all the Loud siblings, including Lincoln, exclaimed in unison.
"Mr. Arachnia," the prosecutor began. "Are you familiar with these people?"
"Yes I am," Bruno answered in a rugged voice. "I was called to exterminate a nasty little spider, but then those brats started interfering with my business. I pride myself on not letting even a single spider get away. But thanks to them, the spider got away and my job was never completed. Rotten little spider huggers!"
"No further questions," the prosecutor said dismissing the exterminator. "Now call in the next witness."
The person who entered the courtroom next was the lifeguard of the Royal Woods Community Pool. "They had chicken fights during Senior Swim," he said angrily.
The next person to testify was the lifeguard from Huntington Oaks Community Pool. "They put celery and carrots in the pool water and drank it!" he furiously said.
Next was the lifeguard from the Hazeltucky Community Pool. "FECAL! INCIDENT!" she lividly screamed and made everyone gasp and retch in disgust.
The next person was a male police officer. "We get reports about trouble caused by these people every week. Dangerous pranks on April Fools' Day, illegal experimentations, blackouts from using too much electricity, property damage, disturbing the peace, noise pollution. These things happen so much that we have a keyboard shortcut for reporting incidents involving them. Ctrl + L + S!"
Next was a man with light brown hair, a teal shirt, and brown pants. "Her snake bit me on the nose!" he said pointing to Lana.
Next was the manager of the IT office where Lynn Sr. worked. "Every 'Take Your Kids to Work Day' he brings those little monsters and it's chaos, chaos, CHAOS!" he furiously ranted.
"Call to the stand Agnes Johnson," the prosecutor ordered.
In walked, to Lincoln's surprise, his own fifth-grade teacher.
"Now Mrs. Johnson, is it true that you acquainted with a few members of this family?" the prosecutor asked.
"Indeed I am," Mrs. Johnson answered. "Lincoln Loud is one of the most dedicated students in my class, always doing his best to complete any assignment I give him. His sisters on the other hand, have been quite troublesome in the past. One time, one of them dropped a bucket of water on me for a prank. Another time his family was wasting energy, they were completely in the red zone. I guess they don't have hearts to want to save the poor polar bears. Then when Lincoln's sister, Lisa, attended our class, she became very offensive and disruptive causing disturbances around the school."
At first, Lincoln felt a little flattered listening to his teacher testify on his behalf. But as she continued, his tiny smile faded away and turned into a big appalled expression as he heard a few things he didn't like at all. "Your honor!" Lincoln interrupted having heard enough. Everyone turned their attention to him. "I would like to object to this witness." Everyone gasped in surprise. "And I would like everything she said stricken from the record." No one expected this.
"Lincoln, I'm trying to stick up for you," Mrs. Johnson said in a scolding tone.
"That's funny," a displeased Lincoln retorted. "Let me ask you something, Mrs. Johnson. During that time when my family was wasting energy and in the red zone, who did you (cough) who did you really blame for that?"
"Uhh… you," she nervously answered. This made the jury and the people in the gallery start murmuring to one another.
"That's right. And what did you do when Luan dumped that bucket of water on you?"
"I gave you an A-."
"Correct, you gave me an A-. And when Lisa was going through her 'average' phase, who did you all blame for that? Because it wasn't Lisa."
"It was you," Mrs. Johnson replied lowering her eyes to the floor.
"I also noticed you neglected to mention the 'Girl Guru' incident," Lincoln crossly brought up. "The time when Clyde and I (cough) when Clyde and I were trying to start a business. We originally planned on selling chocolate pies, but when my sisters ate all the chocolate, we had to come up with something else. Things weren't doing well and we were running low on options. Then Liam gave me the 'Girl Guru' idea. So I thought, having spent my entire life with so many sisters, I could –" Suddenly, Lincoln stopped to let four terrible-sounding coughs. "Whoa! Feels like I'm getting worse every minute," he remarked to himself before continuing what he wanted to say. "I thought I could sell girl advice to the boys at school, and we all remember how that all turned out. Now I admit, I've made a lot of mistakes in my life and I'm sorry for any harm I caused. I'm still only eleven. But what did you all do in the end? Did you all accept my apology and let bygones be bygones? No! In order to ensure that you all wouldn't do worse to me, I had to make a business where you all could pay to throw salt and vinegar pies at me, and no one hesitated to take that opportunity. Not even YOU! Am I remembering that correctly?!" After hearing that, so many jurors and gallery members let out appalled and disgusted gasps and exclamations.
"Well… we… uh… I…" Mrs. Johnson anxiously struggled to come up with an excuse.
"You know something, Mrs. Johnson?" Lincoln interrupted. "I noticed that you and everyone else at school, with the exception of Clyde, all have something in common with my family. You all act like you have some right to life working towards your goals the way you see fit, and when things don't go your way you get to behave any way you want, and someone always has to be the scapegoat! Almost NOTHING goes right for me. But you don't see me calling anyone else a 'polar bear hater'. You don't see me threatening to turn anyone into a human pretzel. You don't see me throwing pies at anyone. You don't see me accusing anyone of being 'bad luck'. I can only do so much in a family like mine, and if you think that's not good enough, then you need to CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE!" Once he was finished with his rant, the sick boy burst into another coughing fit.
The entire courtroom was rendered speechless by Lincoln's outburst. Even Lynn and the prosecutor were completely stunned. A few other members of the Loud family started to feel that maybe they hadn't been treating Lincoln quite as fairly as they thought.
"Well… um… objection sustained," the judge awkwardly declared.
With that, Mrs. Johnson was dismissed, the court reporter erased her testimony, and she was forced to leave the courtroom in shame.
"Well… the next witness is… the man who reported this incident to the authorities, Mr. Morris," the still shocked prosecutor announced. In walked the stylist of the Big Department Store himself with a sad expression on his face. This was a surprise to both Leni and Lincoln. After taking the oath, he sat in the witness stand. "Mr. Morris, you were the one who reported the treatment of this boy to the authorities, correct?"
"Yes, it was," Morris sadly answered.
"So it was you?!" an angry Lynn yelled. "You lousy, backstabbing, two-timing, –"
"Order in the court!" the judge demanded.
"Lynn, that's not a nice thing to say to Morris!" Leni scolded her younger sister.
"Leni, he betrayed you!" Lynn argued. "And us! And me!"
"I'm sure there's a totes good reason to all this," Leni said optimistically.
"Tell us, Mr. Morris," the prosecutor continued. "How did you find out about what they were doing?"
"It was at the department store," Morris explained. "Leni was shopping with her friends, had her brother with her in that ugly squirrel suit. Then she confessed everything right to us."
"LENI!?" the rest of the family said in shocked unison.
"What?" the confused fashionista asked.
"Why did you tell them, Leni?!" an aghast Lori asked.
"It's not like we did anything bad, right?" Leni replied. This caught the attention of everyone else in the courtroom.
"Leni?!" a shocked Morris said. "Do you really have no idea why you and your family are here?"
"Well, at first I thought we were here to order food. Then I thought this might be a place to play tennis or some other sport, but that like hasn't happened at all and this clearly doesn't look like the kind of place where you play those sports."
Everyone was completely dumbstruck by the 16-year-old's incredible cluelessness. All this time, she had no idea what she and her family did wrong or why they were all here.
"Haven't you been listening to anything anyone has said here?!" the shocked defense attorney asked.
"I have, it just doesn't make any sense," a confused Leni answered.
"How does none of this make sense to you?!" the prosecutor exclaimed in a very annoyed tone and approached the second oldest Loud sister. "You. And your family. Kicked. Your 11-year-old brother. Out of your home! That is an act that is illegal in many American states."
"But is Michigan one of them?" Leni replied with a question.
"WHAT!?" The prosecutor, the defense attorney, and the judge couldn't believe their ears.
"My sister, Luan, asked those people that question before they brought us here," Leni explained pointing to the CPS agents. "They never answered her."
Both Brenda and Derek were completely baffled. "Is she for real?!" Derek asked Lincoln who was currently burying his face in his hands in embarrassment.
"Leni, I know it's difficult for you to understand sometimes," Morris sadly told her with pity in his voice. "But you should know that you and your family can't do anything you want and expect to get away with everything. When you finally understand, I want you to know that I'm not sorry for what I did. But I am sorry I had to do it."
"Thank you Mr. Morris. That will be all," the prosecutor dismissed the stylist. With that, Morris left with a look of heartbreak on his face. Leni watch sadly as he went by. She wasn't sad because she understood, she was sad because she still didn't fully understand. "We would now like to call Jeffery to the stand."
"Who's that again?" Luan asked.
"I literally don't know," Lori replied.
Then in came a short man with brown hair, thick black eyebrows, a beard, wearing a light green suit, a blue necktie, and brown shoes.
"Hey, isn't that –" Leni said recognizing the man.
"Uh oh!" both Loud parents exclaimed in horror. "The Spa Manager!"
"They came to the Spa for the weekend," Jeffery explained. "I had them kicked out the very next day. They caused all sorts of problems. Breaking the elevators, contaminating the pool, impersonating employees, booking the entire massage facility for stuffed animals, messing with the power box, disturbing guests and staff, property damage!" As he went on, all the Loud siblings, including Lincoln, hung their heads in shame. This was one of the few accusations they all genuinely felt remorse for. Their parents saved up so much for a relaxing weekend only for it to be cut very short, and they felt it was their terrible behavior that had caused it.
"Would you mind telling the court what was the absolute last straw, Mr. Jeffery?" the grinning prosecutor asked.
"Surprisingly, it wasn't something the kids did," Jeffery said which snapped the Loud siblings out of their guilt and caught their attention. "Security footage caught their parents going down to the pool at night to… 'enjoy' themselves!" Hearing this caused everyone in the courtroom to gasp, exclaim, and retch in shock and disgust.
"Oh My GOD!" Aunt Ruth exclaimed in absolute shock.
Howard McBride fainted into Harold's arms.
Albert face palmed in sheer disgust and embarrassment at hearing what his daughter and her husband did.
Lynn Sr. and Rita both hung their heads in shame and embarrassment. To make things worse, their own children started angrily chastising them. Lincoln also participated in the chastising, but then it turned into another coughing fit. The kids really let them have it. All this time they thought what happened at that hotel was ENTIRELY their fault. But now they knew the truth. Despite their parents having told them to behave themselves during that time, they clearly didn't take their own advice.
"Why didn't I take that armed robbery case?!" the defense attorney asked himself as he buried his face in his hands.
"Order in the court! Order in the court!" the judge demanded until everyone became silent. Then she started massaging the bridge of her nose. This entire case was becoming increasingly stressful.
"They're the worst people I've ever had the displeasure of meeting in my entire life!" Jeffery furiously concluded. "I hope you send them away for a LONG time!" Then he turned to the Loud parents. "So long Mr. and Mrs. La-ood, hope you enjoy yourselves in the Royal Woods Prison. You dirty cheapskates!"
"That will be all, thank you," the disturbed prosecutor dismissed the spa manager.
"I think we've heard enough witnesses," the judge said still rubbing the bridge of her nose.
"Agreed your honor," the defense attorney agreed.
"For once, something the defense and the prosecution can agreed upon," the still disturbed prosecutor commented.
"Your honor, if it pleases the court," the defense attorney requested. "I would like for my clients to step up and give their own testimonies. If we listen to their side of the story, then we might be able to see that they truly are inno… um… not quite as guilty as they appear to be."
The judge waited for a moment to hear any objections from the prosecution. She heard none. "No objections."
Thank you for reading. Hope you found it enjoyable. Now go ahead and read the next part. BTW, the L in the keyboard shortcut stands for "Louds" and the S stands for "Sucks".