Meroune Lorelei's wheelchair sped down the hill, completely out of control. "Someone save me!" she called out desperately, an expression of absolute terror on her face. However, the thoughts in her mind did not match her expression.

Ah! she thought joyously. Out of control on a steep hill…surely this danger will cause me great suffering, and I will find myself in a hospital where I will be wooed by my doctor! And he will be kind, gentle…and married to his work. Our love will be passionate, but a pale shadow of his dedication to his patients, and I shall never know true union! Oh how wondrous!

As her wheelchair skidded and turned towards a telephone pole, her thoughts changed as her speed increased. Oh, that impact might just be lethal! I shall die…right in front of the one who would be destined to be my soul mate, our love doomed to never flourish! Or I shall be rescued by a noble prince, and become smitten…only to discover his heart already belongs to another! Ah, oh wondrous day! Tragedy truly smiles upon me-

Her thoughts were interrupted as a blue blur sped past her, slamming into the telephone pole so hard it broke off at the base, the entire pole swinging upward around the wires. She then found herself cradled gently in strong arms as her wheelchair was expertly stopped by a foot in the wheel, twisting it side on to the hill. "Hello!" the one holding her greeted warmly. "Are you the new friend Scary Smith Lady told me needed help, Miss Fish Lady?"

Meroune blinked for a time. She of course recognized the voice of Caboose, the one she'd requested to homestay with after learning of his presence on New Japan…but this most definitely was not how she expected their first meeting to go. "Umm…yes," she began carefully. "I am Meroune Lorelei."

"Can I call you Mero?" Caboose asked hopefully as he set her down in her wheelchair. "I'm not good with long names."

"You may," Mero offered gracefully. "It is what my friends call me, and I did hope to be your friend."

"Yay!" Caboose declared happily. "New-one sec!" Turning, he punched the telephone pole as it finished its loop around its wires, causing it to spin back the other way only much faster. Caboose wheeled the chair to the side before holding his arm out, stopping the pole right back in its original position, though broken at the base. Leaning down, he checked the stability of the break. "Hmm…Freckle, repair! …oh wait, he's not here…oh! The order's waiting for him! I did not know I could do that. It should hold." He turned back to Mero. "Where was I?"

Mero blinked in awe. Tragedy may not be smiling on her this day, but Physics was certainly weeping. "Yay new," she offered gently.

"Right!" Caboose confirmed happily. "Yay! New friend!" He then promptly hugged Mero tight, chair and all…though careful not to hug too tight, for fear of damaging her or chair.

Mero found herself blushing as Caboose set her down. This was certainly not what she'd expected of her first encounter with Caboose, and she found herself at a complete loss of what to say or do. As he calmly began pushing her wheelchair along, she looked up at him. "So how far is it to Blue Base?" she asked curiously, hoping to ease things along.

"Not far!" Caboose responded happily. "Oh! I need to tell Polt I found you!"

"Polt?" Mero asked curiously.

"Polt, it's Caboose!" Caboose said as though he hadn't heard, plainly using his helmet comm to place a call. "I found her! I was looking in the wrong way-oh, you haven't left Blue Base? And her room is already ready? We'll be back soon, I'm sure she'd love to meet everyone!" He turned back to Mero. "I'm sorry, what'd you say?"

"Who is Polt?" Mero asked curiously. "Is she your girlfriend?"

"I have lots of girl friends!" Caboose offered happily. "There's Miia, and Papi, and Cerea, and Polt, and Scary Smith Lady, and now you!"

Mero blushed brightly. He already considered her a girlfriend? And he had so many? And Agent Smith? "D-don't you think that's a little forward of you?" she managed to stammer out.

"Well I'm not very good at going backwards," Caboose allowed. "I always end up moonwalking."

Mero blinked, then tilted her head thoughtfully. "I am beginning to think we are having two completely different conversations."

"Yeah, that happens to me a lot," Caboose allowed. "But that's okay. As long as friends are having fun together, it's all good."

Mero's eyes widened in shock. Such wisdom in him! I never would have believed it. Still, I begin to think he pronounced a space between words I did not. I must meet with the other girls and find out which is his girlfriend so I know which to support, so I can ever be on the outside. Ah, what glorious tragedy, that I shall always be only a mistress to such a wonderful man!

"Ah, we're here!" Caboose declared happily, turning Mero's wheelchair into the lot. He then paused as several metal spheres floated out of a shack that looked remarkably like an oversized dog house. "Freckle! There's so many of you!"

[Affirmative,] a computerized voice spoke up from one of the spheres. [Request for additional reinforcement of unit Freckle has been completed. There is now one unit Freckle for each member of Blue Team, with several extra units currently inactive, awaiting assignment to new team members or summons for massed assault.] The speaking unit's optic was bright blue. [This unit is assigned to Captain Caboose. Carrying out previous order.] It floated off towards the telephone pole.

[This unit is assigned to First Lieutenant Polt,] one with a bright brown optic declared as it moved to float beside the kobold who stepped outside.

[This unit is assigned to Sergeant Scary Smith Lady,] a black-eyed sphere declared as it floated to beside her.

The units continued to sound off. The one assigned to Miia had a ruby optic. The one assigned to Papi had a white optic. The one assigned to Cerea had a bronze optic. The one assigned to Suu had a blue-green optic.

The last active unit – with a pink optic – floated up to Mero. [This unit is assigned to assist Lieutenant Mero,] it declared. [Lieutenant Mero is out of uniform. Physical scan complete. Manufacture of bell collar that will not slip on mucus coated skin nor wear out through constant immersion in water complete.] The described collar was floated over to her.

"I'll be back!" Caboose declared happily. "I'm gonna walk Polt back to her health club!" With that, he turned and ran off with Polt somewhere.

As her Freckle unit wheeled Mero's wheelchair into the house, she decided to try and get information out of it. "Do you know a great deal about Caboose?" she asked curiously.

[Affirmative,] Freckle responded. [The first unit designated Freckle retained all information downloaded from unit Freckles. Each Freckle retains the same information.]

"Then can you tell me who Caboose's girlfriend is?" Mero asked hopefully.

[Captain Caboose intends to make all female friends his 'marriage friends',] Freckle explained. [Lieutenants Miia, Papi, Cerea, First Lieutenant Polt, and Sergeant Scary Smith Lady. Logic indicates similar courtship intentions are inevitable for Lieutenant Mero as well.]

Mero stared at Freckle in shock. She'd need to have a talk with Caboose when he got back. There was no way this could be true…and if it was, no possible way it could work. She'd just have to set him straight somehow.