Caboose happily led the MON squad back towards Blue Base, eager to introduce everyone. He'd spent the entire way back reciting to his 'new friends' everything he could recall about the girls, and they were all eager to actually meet up. Agent Smith was even relaxed into it, although feeling a bit trepidatious about the stop they'd taken on the way back to Blue Base. Caboose had insisted the only way to properly welcome new friends to his home was with food, and so Tio's arms were full of all the groceries she could carry...which was quite a lot. While Smith was looking forward to Caboose's amazingly delicious cooking, she wasn't certain she'd be able to qualify the trip properly as a 'business expense', even if the Interspecies Exchange Commission was footing Caboose's entire food bill as a matter of course.

As soon as Caboose opened the door, three female forms slammed into him. He took one step back to brace himself as Miia wrapped around him, Papi clung to his head and shoulders, and Suu clung to his legs. "Darling!" Miia wailed worriedly. "Are you alright? We saw you on the news when you just collapsed and...and...and…" Her words devolved into incomprehensible blubbering.

"Husband!" Papi cried out, clinging to him as she settled for just expressing distress without any actual words.

"Papa okay?" Suu pleaded worriedly, staring up at Caboose with eyes that looked more watery than normal somehow.

"Are you alright, Master?" Cerea asked worriedly from the door, looking like the only reason she wasn't lifting Caboose off the ground in an embrace was wanting to appear properly disciplined...but said discipline was rapidly failing against the tidal wave of worry and despair.

Caboose happily patted the head of each girl hugging him. "I'm okay, girls," he offered warmly. "I'm sorry I worried you. I don't remember falling over. The last thing I remember was asking the piggy what a cry-tortoise was. Why did the guys in the comics want to make turtles sad? I thought most guys liked ninjas."

At that point, Cerea lost her discipline as she lunged forward to pull Caboose into a deep hug. "Master, I'm so ashamed! I failed to be there to join you in battle when you desperately needed me, and...and...and…"

"It's okay, Cerea," Caboose reassured her, returning the hug even as he managed - through rather impressive physical contortions - to keep Suu from getting squished between them without dislodging her or anyone else. "I don't remember fighting, though."

"Freckle, what's a cry-tortoise?" Papi asked her Freckle unit curiously, having forgotten her despair as soon as she was no longer afraid Caboose wouldn't be coming home.

"Now why didn't I think to ask Freckle?" Caboose marveled in amazement, causing several of those present to facepalm.

[Error: Parental control settings do not allow an answer to that inquiry,] Papi's Freckle unit responded. [Private Suu and Captain Caboose are present, and are not cleared under parental controls for material defined as 'adult'.]

"I want to find that surprising," Smith murmured thoughtfully, "but somehow...I just don't."

"Did everyone get along with Mero while I was gone?" Caboose asked curiously as he led Tio to the kitchen so he could start cooking.

"Who?" Papi asked in confusion.

[Nice fish lady,] her Freckle unit supplied.

"Oh!" Papi declared, bringing a closed fist down in an open palm in an exaggerated expression of recognition. "She's nice!"

[Reports collated,} Caboose's Freckle unit spoke up. [All interactions within assumed parameters. Lieutenant Cerea embarrassed herself due to her reaction to Lieutenant Mero's royal bearing, but has moved past it. Private Suu has already learned to imitate regal bearing. Lieutenant Papi bonded readily with Lieutenant Mero, though name recognition continues to be a problem. Lieutenant Miia has determined that Lieutenant Mero is now a new rival.]

"I knew they'd all get along!" Caboose declared happily as he proceeded to cook a scrumptious meal that could feed everyone.

"How come the balls call everyone 'Lieutenant'?" Zombina asked curiously. "You don't look like a military unit."

"It's because we're all Blue Team!" Caboose declared happily. "Everybody has a rank!"

"Can we have ranks, too?" Tio asked eagerly.

[Error: members of Team MON,] Smith's Freckle intoned angrily. [Conflict of loyalties detected. MON takes orders from Sergeant Scary Smith Lady.]

[Error: Sergeant Scary Smith Lady is Blue Team,] Caboose's Freckle countered. [Ergo, her subordinates are also Blue Team.]

[Error: excessive paperwork detected,] Smith's Freckle responded ruefully.

"Are the Freckle units starting to develop distinct personalities based on who they were assigned to?" Polt marveled curiously.

[Freckle units designed to adapt to better assist assigned partners,] Polt's Freckle responded warmly. [Personality adaptation logical. Freckles and original Freckle will maintain standard personality configuration as most efficient for helping Captain Caboose.]

[It is Lieutenant Miia's turn to snuggle with Captain Master,] Miia's Freckle insisted.

[Negative,] Papi's Freckle countered. [It is Lieutenant Papi's turn to cuddle with Master Husband tonight.]

[No!] Suu's Freckle countered petulantly. [Private Suu is the baby! She has priority!]

"Happening rather fast, though…" Smith murmured worriedly.

"I want my own talky ball!" Tio gasped eagerly.

[Freckle unit assigned to Lieutenant Tio,] a new Freckle unit, this one's optic the exact golden color of Tio's hair, intoned as it floated in.

Mero slowly pushed her wheelchair towards the kitchen as that caused another uproar over how Smith's subordinate could outrank her. "Sire, could I ask you something?" she asked Caboose curiously.

"Ask away!" Caboose replied as he rapidly flipped dishes from pans to plates without looking, not even a drop or a crumb missing its destination.

"I understand it is your intention to make...all of us your…'marriage friends'?" she asked carefully.

"Everyone but Suu!" Caboose declared. "She's our baby!"

"How will you manage that?" Mero asked worriedly. "There apparently are already fights over your time. It was my understanding that human relationships were one to one specifically to avoid such things."

"I'm used to fighting," Caboose allowed. "Back home, my sisters were always fighting over spending time with me. In Blood Gulch, we were always fighting the Reds. Out of Blood Gulch, we were always fighting somebody. Fighting is normal."

"But how will you give everyone the attention they need from you?" Mero pressed curiously. "You're only super-human." She wanted to say 'only human', but Caboose was obviously more than that.

Caboose was silent for a time, though that didn't interrupt his cooking. "I know!" he declared happily. "I'll ask Santa for that looper thingy Wyoming had! Santa would have that, right?"

[Calculating…] Caboose's Freckle intoned. [Collating information...confirmed. Tucker experienced the temporal loops caused by Wyoming's Temporal Distortion due to his bond to the alien Sword/Key. Ergo, Temporal Distortion was based off alien tech. Ergo, Alien AI designated Santa will have access to that tech.]

"And then I can make all the time I need to tend to everyone!" Caboose declared happily.

[Error: such tech required an AI fragment to properly manage,] Freckle pointed out.

"I'm sure Santa will come up with something," Caboose declared firmly. He's Santa!"

Mero's eyes widened as she took what he was saying into account. "But...looping yourself endlessly through time...you'll wear yourself out."

"I have plenty of energy!" Caboose countered firmly. "Besides, I'm the man of the house. It's my job to take care of everyone."

He means it, Mero thought silently. He'll wear himself to the bone if that's what it takes to tend to all of us...me included. And he is stubborn to a fault, he won't sway from that. I'll be powerless to stop him as he works himself to death taking care of everyone, only able to watch him waste away as our flowering love dies before it can bloom… Her eyes began to sparkle excitedly. Oh, tragedy smiles upon me this day, for I have discovered the ultimate tragic love, one which extends to all of us, and we shall all share in our misery and lost love tending to all that is left behind, the children he gives us, together! "How wondrous!" Mero declared excitedly.

"I am pretty great, yeah," Caboose confirmed as he began carrying food out to the table...only to notice how crowded it was. "We need a bigger table…" He glanced at how crowded the room was. "...and a bigger dining room."

[Drawing up plans,] Smith's Freckle intoned, making Smith sigh in relief.